1 00:00:03,679 --> 00:00:07,681 I have been hearing such great things about your new show. 2 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:08,949 - Have you? - Oh, that's so nice. 3 00:00:08,984 --> 00:00:11,718 Word around town? A-ma-zing. 4 00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:12,819 Lunch is on me. 5 00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:14,321 Lunch is always on you. 6 00:00:14,356 --> 00:00:16,256 What'd help is a job. You got one of those? 7 00:00:16,291 --> 00:00:17,857 (Chuckling) Hey, I'm not a magician. 8 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,026 Yeah, well, you better pull something out of your ass. 9 00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,195 What magic shows did you go to? 10 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,364 I need a pet name for Helen. 11 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,167 Really? Pet names already? 12 00:00:27,202 --> 00:00:29,069 I know. 13 00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:32,372 It's like we're on some kind of accelerated lesbian calendar. 14 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,808 Like, three days is a week. 15 00:00:34,843 --> 00:00:37,844 If I were a dog, I'd be dead by now. 16 00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:42,682 Sync & corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 17 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,035 Hey, look at this. It's the set model for our new show. 18 00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,870 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 19 00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:40,440 They're actually building the entire house on the stage. 20 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:44,077 Three stories, and all these walls come out, 21 00:01:44,112 --> 00:01:47,113 so they can shoot from one floor to another. 22 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,782 Huh. 23 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,950 Anyway, you got to see this. 24 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,356 Well, that's a vagina. 25 00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:58,124 Yeah. My kid did it. 26 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,261 Aw, even more disturbing. 27 00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:04,497 Not the six-year-old, the eight-year-old. 28 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:05,832 How are you not in prison? 29 00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:07,200 Come on. It's art. 30 00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:08,501 Or evidence. 31 00:02:08,537 --> 00:02:09,969 Picture's up. 32 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,705 All right, got to go be somewhat amusing. 33 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,973 - Can I leave this here? - No. 34 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,443 Please take your twat and go. 35 00:02:16,478 --> 00:02:17,577 (Scoffs) 36 00:02:17,612 --> 00:02:19,479 Hey, check it out. My kid did this. 37 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,581 You know what really bothers me? 38 00:02:21,616 --> 00:02:23,783 Besides the eight-year-old drawing beaver shots? 39 00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:26,486 You notice he wasn't the least bit interested 40 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,121 in our thing. 41 00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:30,623 Well, I've got to say, a set model versus kiddie porn? 42 00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,292 No, that's not the point. 43 00:02:32,327 --> 00:02:34,828 If it's not about him, he couldn't care less. 44 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,397 Right, he's self-involved. He's narcissistic. 45 00:02:37,432 --> 00:02:38,432 He's... (gasps) 46 00:02:38,433 --> 00:02:39,733 an actor. 47 00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:42,469 I know it's hard to remember given his work on this show. 48 00:02:42,504 --> 00:02:45,004 Just so bloody one-sided. 49 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,907 You realize he's never even asked to read our script? 50 00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:49,642 Everyone in town has read it. 51 00:02:49,678 --> 00:02:52,278 Wouldn't you think he'd be slightly curious? 52 00:02:52,314 --> 00:02:53,980 Maybe he read it and didn't like it. 53 00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:56,182 Maybe he's just trying to spare our feelings. 54 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,218 - Does that sound like him? - Mm. 55 00:02:58,253 --> 00:03:00,754 Well, then, if he doesn't want to read it, who cares? 56 00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:03,523 What, you need his informed literary opinion? 57 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,758 No, it's just... 58 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,926 Who he is. 59 00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:09,329 Please let it go. 60 00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:12,866 Just compliment his son's vagina and leave it at that. 61 00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:21,508 So we, um... 62 00:03:21,543 --> 00:03:24,210 we have our first notes on the script for the new show. 63 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,512 - Yeah? - Mm. 64 00:03:25,547 --> 00:03:27,480 It's amazing. Virtually nothing. 65 00:03:27,516 --> 00:03:29,916 Wow. 66 00:03:29,951 --> 00:03:33,920 It's a little disconcerting, all this unbridled praise. 67 00:03:33,955 --> 00:03:35,622 Everyone just seems to love it. 68 00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:37,023 That's great. 69 00:03:37,058 --> 00:03:39,893 - I'm thinking of getting a drone. - A drone? 70 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,161 Yeah, anyone can buy them now. 71 00:03:41,196 --> 00:03:42,476 What would you do with a drone? 72 00:03:42,497 --> 00:03:44,898 I don't know, drone stuff. 73 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,466 Look at the tops of birds, 74 00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:47,834 see my roof, 75 00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,903 drop shit on Burt Bacharach's house. 76 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,806 - Why Burt Bacharach? - It's a whole thing. 77 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:56,676 But he'll know. 78 00:03:56,711 --> 00:03:59,078 So you haven't by any chance read it, have you? 79 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,413 What? 80 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,748 - Our script. - No. 81 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,383 Oh, good. 82 00:04:03,418 --> 00:04:05,552 For a second, I was afraid you might be the one person 83 00:04:05,587 --> 00:04:07,720 who read it and didn't love it. 84 00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:10,323 Oh, not to worry. 85 00:04:10,358 --> 00:04:12,091 I could take pictures of Suzanne Somers. 86 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,493 - What? - With my drone. 87 00:04:13,528 --> 00:04:15,061 She lives next to me. 88 00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:19,098 Her gardener told my gardener that she lies out naked. 89 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,467 - I'd drone that. - Right. 90 00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:23,636 (Exhales) 91 00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:24,904 - Quick question. - Hmm? 92 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,573 What is wrong with you? 93 00:04:26,608 --> 00:04:28,308 - Why don't you want to read it? - What? 94 00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:31,444 Our script. Why don't you want to read it? 95 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,279 Whoa, okay, fine. I'll read it. 96 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,781 Oh, no, don't do me any favors. 97 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,482 I don't need a mercy read. 98 00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:38,751 All right. 99 00:04:38,787 --> 00:04:41,287 Seriously? You're not gonna read it? 100 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,989 Okay, I don't know what you want here. 101 00:04:43,024 --> 00:04:45,658 I would like, just for once, for you to be interested 102 00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,794 in something that's important to me. 103 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,671 Shouldn't we be sleeping together to be having this conversation? 104 00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:52,098 Fine. 105 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,269 (Exhales) Please can I read your script? 106 00:04:56,304 --> 00:04:57,437 No. 107 00:04:57,472 --> 00:04:58,738 You're right. I'm sorry. 108 00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:01,374 - I'm a selfish asshole. - Agreed. 109 00:05:01,409 --> 00:05:03,509 I really want to read it. 110 00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:05,979 - Really? - Yes. 111 00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,316 All right. 112 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,186 As long as you're not doing it just because I pressured you into it. 113 00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:14,554 - Oh, well... - What? 114 00:05:14,589 --> 00:05:18,291 I'm kidding. Jesus. 115 00:05:18,326 --> 00:05:21,060 And by the way, I know I don't say it enough, 116 00:05:21,096 --> 00:05:24,297 but you're the prettiest girl in the room. 117 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:31,271 Yeah, that's gonna be on TMZ. 118 00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:36,042 Where are we on the Angry Men rewrite? 119 00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:38,778 I think some of them are still too angry. 120 00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,173 (Sighs) 121 00:05:40,225 --> 00:05:42,139 Is he ever gonna get there? 122 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,616 Should we just pull the plug on this thing? 123 00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:45,451 Probably. I don't think he's capab... 124 00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:46,586 (Gags) 125 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:51,858 Are you okay? 126 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,793 Mm-hmm. (Swallows) 127 00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:55,194 Sorry. 128 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,363 I just don't think he's... (Gags) 129 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,565 - Do you need to... - Mm-hmm. 130 00:06:03,705 --> 00:06:05,071 Wow. 131 00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:06,673 Do you think she's ever gonna tell us? 132 00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:07,907 Are we absolutely sure? 133 00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:09,275 Oh, please. 134 00:06:09,311 --> 00:06:11,177 What month do you think she's in? 135 00:06:11,212 --> 00:06:12,612 11th? 12th? 136 00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:14,547 And there's definitely no boyfriend? 137 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,215 Not that I know of. 138 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,750 She lives alone. 139 00:06:17,786 --> 00:06:19,719 She just has those two cats. 140 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,120 Maybe she's having a cliché. 141 00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:22,455 Oh. 142 00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:23,957 (Intercom buzzes) 143 00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,960 Carol, Helen needs to see you. 144 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,728 Okay. 145 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,896 Right back. 146 00:06:44,245 --> 00:06:45,245 Morning. 147 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,446 Hey. 148 00:06:53,355 --> 00:06:54,554 How was your weekend? 149 00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:56,622 Eh, quiet. 150 00:07:00,428 --> 00:07:02,095 What did you do? 151 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,629 Nothing, really. 152 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:07,400 Hung out, watched TV. 153 00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,770 Read anything? 154 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,572 Actually, I'm reading this book on tape. 155 00:07:12,607 --> 00:07:14,107 It's really cool. 156 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,975 It's about how if Hitler had won the war... 157 00:07:16,011 --> 00:07:17,777 I'll tell you, we sure dodged a bullet there. 158 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:18,945 (Chuckles) 159 00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:24,951 What? 160 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,560 Oh! Oh, oh, right. Right. 161 00:07:34,596 --> 00:07:36,696 I'm gonna get to it as soon as I get a free minute. 162 00:07:36,731 --> 00:07:38,297 You had the whole bloody weekend. 163 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,534 - I said I'll read it. - It's 28 pages. 164 00:07:41,569 --> 00:07:43,469 It's not the fucking Goldfinch. 165 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,772 - I don't know... - It's a thick book. 166 00:07:45,807 --> 00:07:47,807 - Got you. - Unbelievable. 167 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,014 Knock, knock. What's up? 168 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:59,152 I believe there is something for you on my desk. 169 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,320 What is this? 170 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,522 What did you do? 171 00:08:02,557 --> 00:08:03,990 Open it. 172 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,460 (Sighs) You should not have done this. 173 00:08:07,495 --> 00:08:08,628 (Chuckles) 174 00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:12,788 Oh, my God. 175 00:08:13,768 --> 00:08:15,417 This is... 176 00:08:18,073 --> 00:08:20,254 No one has ever... 177 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,721 I can't even... 178 00:08:23,078 --> 00:08:24,770 I can't... 179 00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:27,046 I can't... 180 00:08:27,082 --> 00:08:28,681 I can't breathe. 181 00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,516 Calm down. You're breathing. 182 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:31,751 A key? 183 00:08:31,786 --> 00:08:33,286 After two weeks? 184 00:08:33,321 --> 00:08:36,255 It's just... It's too much too fast. 185 00:08:36,291 --> 00:08:38,191 Oh, did I tell you? 186 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,393 She already invited me to Stanford 187 00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:41,761 for her daughter's graduation. 188 00:08:41,796 --> 00:08:43,696 - Aw. - In June. 189 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,298 Well, that's not so... 190 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,667 No, not this June. Next June. 191 00:08:47,702 --> 00:08:50,303 - Oh. - Oh, God. 192 00:08:50,338 --> 00:08:52,872 What is wrong with me? 193 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,874 I should be happy. 194 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,743 This... It's like a dream come true, 195 00:08:57,779 --> 00:08:59,679 and I'm getting hives. 196 00:08:59,714 --> 00:09:02,048 Oh, that is definitely hive-y. 197 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,282 All right, stop looking. 198 00:09:03,318 --> 00:09:04,550 Okay. Okay, listen. 199 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:08,287 You have to tell her how you feel. 200 00:09:08,323 --> 00:09:10,056 Nyeh. 201 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,092 You can't spend an entire relationship on antihistamines. 202 00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:15,428 Wh-what am I supposed to say? 203 00:09:15,463 --> 00:09:16,796 "Less love, please." 204 00:09:16,831 --> 00:09:20,233 I... I don't want to hurt her. 205 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,236 You're just asking her to slow down a bit. 206 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:27,140 Look, if this relationship has any hope of sustaining, 207 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,475 you have got to be honest. 208 00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:31,878 Okay, fine. 209 00:09:31,913 --> 00:09:33,379 (Sighs) You're right. 210 00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:34,547 I hear you. 211 00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:38,784 (Cell phone ringing) 212 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:40,052 Yeah. 213 00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,255 (Stammering) 214 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,323 Hi, sweetie. 215 00:09:44,359 --> 00:09:45,925 No, I'm at the dentist. 216 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,261 I lost a crown. 217 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,530 It's all good. Be back soon. 218 00:09:50,565 --> 00:09:52,398 (Whimpers) I got to go. 219 00:09:59,007 --> 00:10:00,673 You know, I'm a writer too. 220 00:10:00,708 --> 00:10:03,509 Oh, no. No, I did not. 221 00:10:03,545 --> 00:10:05,411 I'm working on a screenplay. 222 00:10:05,446 --> 00:10:06,679 Ah. 223 00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,314 Oh, good for you. 224 00:10:11,419 --> 00:10:12,485 It's about this girl. 225 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,986 Oh, okay. 226 00:10:14,022 --> 00:10:15,621 Nobody ever notices her. 227 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,291 No one ever asks about her life or how she's doing. 228 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:21,027 It's... it's like she's not a person too. 229 00:10:21,062 --> 00:10:22,628 - No one cares. - Aw. 230 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:26,465 So she decides to kill her coworkers. 231 00:10:28,603 --> 00:10:30,836 Ah. Did not see that coming. 232 00:10:30,872 --> 00:10:32,405 There's your twist. 233 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,169 She just feels like, "You don't notice me? 234 00:10:37,078 --> 00:10:38,344 You'll notice me." 235 00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:40,846 And there's your motivation. 236 00:10:40,882 --> 00:10:42,815 Good, you'll need that. 237 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:47,019 So... she kills them... 238 00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:49,155 By poisoning them. 239 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,257 I see. 240 00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:54,060 She does it slowly, little by little, 241 00:10:54,095 --> 00:10:56,796 and no one suspects because she's just this girl. 242 00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:59,332 Who is she? She's nobody. 243 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,433 No one would think. 244 00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:02,301 Of course not. Perfect crime. 245 00:11:02,337 --> 00:11:03,903 Can I show it to you when I'm done? 246 00:11:03,938 --> 00:11:06,339 Absolutely. Yes, I'm very interested. 247 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,041 (Chuckling) 248 00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:16,182 Where did you get that? 249 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,950 Over there. 250 00:11:17,986 --> 00:11:19,885 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 251 00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:24,624 Fucking brilliant. 252 00:11:24,659 --> 00:11:25,925 You read it? 253 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,960 - Like I had a choice. - Interesting. 254 00:11:27,996 --> 00:11:32,832 Oh, well, I might have mentioned once or... 255 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,500 Stop looking at me. 256 00:11:34,535 --> 00:11:36,602 - It is so good. - Really? 257 00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:38,170 Oh, my God. I laughed my ass off. 258 00:11:38,206 --> 00:11:39,805 Now I see why everybody's flipping out. 259 00:11:39,841 --> 00:11:41,274 - Thank you. - My goodness. 260 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:42,975 So have you started casting? 261 00:11:43,011 --> 00:11:44,410 Can I put in a good word for someone? 262 00:11:44,445 --> 00:11:45,544 Absolutely. Who? 263 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,879 Me. 264 00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,383 - I'm sorry? - Say what? 265 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,753 I would love to do this. 266 00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:58,724 Great. 267 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,727 Yes, great. 268 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:05,564 What, um... What part were you thinking? 269 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,099 Well, got to be Anderson. 270 00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:09,035 It's like you wrote it for me. 271 00:12:09,070 --> 00:12:11,871 Not really. (Chuckling) 272 00:12:11,906 --> 00:12:15,374 Y-you should know that the actor playing Anderson 273 00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:19,478 also has to play Riggs, so that's maybe more than you... 274 00:12:19,514 --> 00:12:21,314 - Holy shit, I love Riggs. - Oh. 275 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,215 That's my second favorite. 276 00:12:23,251 --> 00:12:25,785 So I'm Anderson and Riggs? 277 00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,688 - Apparently so. - Wow. 278 00:12:28,723 --> 00:12:31,190 I got to tell you, I was so scared 279 00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:34,093 I'd get stuck taking some shit show for the check, 280 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,761 but this? 281 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,963 And with you guys? 282 00:12:37,999 --> 00:12:40,666 I... I don't know what to say. 283 00:12:40,702 --> 00:12:43,436 I think we're all at a loss. (Both chuckle) 284 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,671 All right. I got to call my agent. 285 00:12:45,707 --> 00:12:47,473 Let's get this thing going. Whoo-hoo! 286 00:12:47,508 --> 00:12:49,275 Whoo-hoo. 287 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,280 Why did you say "great"? 288 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,782 - Well, you said "great." - Only because you said it. 289 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,118 If I don't say "great" after you say "great," 290 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,720 suddenly I'm the bad guy. 291 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:03,356 And may I just point out... not in a judgmental way... 292 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:04,890 none of this would have happened 293 00:13:04,926 --> 00:13:07,126 if you hadn't forced him to read the bloody thing. 294 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,894 This is all of your making. 295 00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:10,229 We don't want him in it, do we? 296 00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:12,031 You're really asking me that? No. 297 00:13:12,066 --> 00:13:13,399 - Do you? - No, he's dead wrong. 298 00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:15,434 - But he's so excited. - I know. 299 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,303 But we have been down the Matt LeBlanc road. 300 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,338 It is bumpy, and it ends in a cliff. 301 00:13:19,374 --> 00:13:21,173 - So... - I don't know. 302 00:13:21,209 --> 00:13:22,675 But we have to do something. 303 00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,143 This train is moving. 304 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,711 Hey, what are you guys doing later? 305 00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:27,913 Um... nothing. 306 00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:29,715 Come to the beach. I'll throw some steaks on. 307 00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,250 - We'll celebrate this thing. - Great. 308 00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:33,067 Cool. 309 00:13:33,888 --> 00:13:35,588 - Who said "great" that time? - Yeah, I know. 310 00:13:35,623 --> 00:13:37,289 And you notice we didn't stop the train. 311 00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:40,860 No. We added a dining car. 312 00:13:47,602 --> 00:13:49,635 Are you a dog person? 313 00:13:49,670 --> 00:13:51,504 Why? What did you order? 314 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,039 (Laughs) I don't know. 315 00:13:54,075 --> 00:13:58,277 I was just thinking, you know, maybe we should get a dog. 316 00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:00,446 - Huh. - Oh, not a fan? 317 00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:04,049 Uh, no, I just never had one. 318 00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:05,851 My mother was allergic. 319 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,920 We had a bird, Louise. 320 00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:09,789 My sister taught her to say... 321 00:14:09,824 --> 00:14:11,424 (Imitating parrot) "We're gonna crash. 322 00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:13,192 - We're gonna crash." - Oh, my God. 323 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:16,061 Yeah. It was pretty tense at home. 324 00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:17,430 I'll bet. 325 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,232 So dog or no dog? 326 00:14:20,268 --> 00:14:24,370 Well, how would it work? 327 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,272 Where would it live? 328 00:14:26,307 --> 00:14:27,740 Here. 329 00:14:27,775 --> 00:14:30,276 With us. 330 00:14:30,311 --> 00:14:32,912 Oh. 331 00:14:34,282 --> 00:14:35,381 Hello? 332 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,916 Out here. 333 00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:39,685 (Sighs) 334 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,687 - So dreading this. - Has to be done. 335 00:14:41,722 --> 00:14:43,022 Right. 336 00:14:43,057 --> 00:14:44,924 Smile. Too many teeth. 337 00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:47,026 All right. 338 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,697 I forgot how beautiful this is. 339 00:14:51,732 --> 00:14:53,699 (Laughs) 340 00:14:53,734 --> 00:14:55,612 When were you here? 341 00:14:57,472 --> 00:14:59,636 I'll wait. 342 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:02,875 Yes, we... Right. 343 00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:05,411 And then you came over, and we... 344 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:08,581 (Chuckles) Welcome back. 345 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,616 How about some wine? 346 00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:10,883 - Gallons. - Yes, please. 347 00:15:10,918 --> 00:15:12,284 (Laughs) 348 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,486 All right, we got steaks. 349 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:16,288 There's corn, potatoes. 350 00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:19,058 My mom made her famous tiramisu. 351 00:15:19,093 --> 00:15:22,027 - Your... your mother's here? - Yeah. 352 00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:24,663 She came out last week when she heard my father might die. 353 00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:26,932 She wanted a ringside seat. 354 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,568 Ma! 355 00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,936 Ma! 356 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,506 She hates wearing her hearing aids. 357 00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:34,640 (Shouting loudly) Ma! 358 00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:36,408 Eh, that's okay. 359 00:15:36,444 --> 00:15:39,245 She'll come out when she smells the meat cooking. 360 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,481 So here's to The Opposite of Us. 361 00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:45,117 Here's hoping it's the opposite of Pucks! 362 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,886 - Oh, yes. - Oh, absolutely. 363 00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:48,521 - Yeah. - (Chuckles) 364 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,460 I'm gonna get the steaks. I'll be right back. 365 00:15:58,132 --> 00:16:00,032 - His mother's here. - Fuck. 366 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,388 We can't tell him in front of her. 367 00:16:01,402 --> 00:16:03,035 - We can't not tell him. - I know. 368 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,338 Oh, great, so now his mother's on the train. 369 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,176 I mean, you're here all the time anyway. 370 00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:12,811 - Mm-hmm. - You could rent your place out. 371 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,246 - Make a few bucks. - Mmhmm. 372 00:16:14,282 --> 00:16:16,215 - It just makes sense, you know? - Mm. 373 00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:17,283 And I know what you're thinking. 374 00:16:17,318 --> 00:16:18,551 You do? 375 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,019 Everything here is me, me, me, me. 376 00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:21,186 There's no you. 377 00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:23,722 So what I was thinking was, 378 00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:25,658 we get rid of all of my shit 379 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,927 and redo the whole thing together. 380 00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:30,095 (Laughing) What? 381 00:16:30,131 --> 00:16:31,797 (Gasps) That's crazy. 382 00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:33,499 No, it's not. Not if you're gonna live here. 383 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,200 - Or... - Or? 384 00:16:35,236 --> 00:16:36,769 We buy a whole new place. 385 00:16:36,804 --> 00:16:38,003 (Laughing nervously) 386 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,939 Oh, what about the beach? 387 00:16:39,974 --> 00:16:41,974 Oh, imagine the two of us coming home from work, 388 00:16:42,009 --> 00:16:44,109 and there's the ocean, there's the sunset, 389 00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:45,778 and our puppy's waiting for us! 390 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:48,047 We're gonna crash. (Coughs) 391 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,482 - What? - Oh. 392 00:16:50,518 --> 00:16:52,484 I can't do this. 393 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,453 I can't. I'm sorry. 394 00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:57,790 It's... it's just... it's too much. 395 00:16:57,825 --> 00:17:01,260 - What's too much? - All of it. 396 00:17:01,295 --> 00:17:07,232 I mean, you're the best, most wonderful person ever. 397 00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:09,134 But don't you think it's all happening 398 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,937 just a little too fast? 399 00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:14,340 Just a... (Squeaks) 400 00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:15,908 Oh. 401 00:17:15,943 --> 00:17:17,343 Okay. 402 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,288 I'm sorry. 403 00:17:23,117 --> 00:17:24,350 Oh, no. 404 00:17:24,385 --> 00:17:25,985 Don't apologize. My fault. 405 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,953 I just assumed that you were where I was. 406 00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:32,458 No, no, I am where you are. 407 00:17:32,493 --> 00:17:37,463 Just, uh, behind you a ways. 408 00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:40,199 Here I am. (Laughs) 409 00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:42,101 (Groans) I shouldn't have said anything. 410 00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:43,869 No, I'm glad you did. 411 00:17:43,904 --> 00:17:47,539 I'd be stuck out at the fucking beach with some stupid dog. 412 00:17:47,575 --> 00:17:50,042 Uh, I think it's just... 413 00:17:50,077 --> 00:17:53,112 this whole thing is very new for me. 414 00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:55,581 I mean, every other guy I've been with... 415 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,651 I'm not saying you're a guy. 416 00:17:58,686 --> 00:17:59,752 Mm, thanks. 417 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,353 It's just... it's... 418 00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:04,590 It's so different than anything I've ever... 419 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,259 And I don't mean that way. 420 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,229 Believe me, I'm loving all that stuff. 421 00:18:10,264 --> 00:18:12,364 Oh, no, wait. 422 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:17,136 Look, you know I have only gone out with assholes. 423 00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:20,239 You were married to one of them. 424 00:18:20,274 --> 00:18:23,475 I'm not used to nice. 425 00:18:23,511 --> 00:18:27,646 I think I'm just scared 426 00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:32,117 by how much I care about you. 427 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:36,955 Well, I certainly didn't mean to scare you. 428 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,391 I know. (Chuckles) 429 00:18:39,427 --> 00:18:41,927 And I'm sorry I got a little... (Babbles) 430 00:18:41,962 --> 00:18:43,762 (Both laugh) 431 00:18:43,798 --> 00:18:45,764 - Come here, scrunch. - Oh. 432 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,434 - (Laughs) - Mm. 433 00:18:48,469 --> 00:18:51,737 Oh, I wasn't even gonna say anything. 434 00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,639 But then Beverly said... 435 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,074 Beverly? 436 00:18:55,109 --> 00:18:59,642 Oh, Beverly's giving you advice about us? 437 00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,981 Maybe. 438 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,017 Why? 439 00:19:05,052 --> 00:19:07,252 Well, I mean, I know she's your friend, 440 00:19:07,288 --> 00:19:10,856 but I'm not sure she has our best interests at heart. 441 00:19:10,891 --> 00:19:12,124 No? 442 00:19:12,159 --> 00:19:13,826 Well, for one, 443 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,561 she's clearly in love with you. 444 00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:18,464 (Laughing) B-Beverly? 445 00:19:18,499 --> 00:19:20,165 Oh, that's crazy. 446 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,468 She doesn't even like me most of the time. 447 00:19:22,503 --> 00:19:23,969 Oh, okay. 448 00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:28,140 No, she's not into... She's married. 449 00:19:28,175 --> 00:19:29,808 I was married. 450 00:19:29,844 --> 00:19:32,111 Even so, I don't think... 451 00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:34,213 Oh, please. Look at her hair. 452 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,353 So what do you think of this? 453 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:45,557 When I'm Riggs, I've got, like, a beard, 454 00:19:45,593 --> 00:19:48,227 but when I'm Anderson, maybe, 455 00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:51,330 like, a weird wig or even a bald cap or... 456 00:19:51,365 --> 00:19:54,833 Is that too much? 457 00:19:54,869 --> 00:19:56,835 I'll tell you what's too much... this steak. 458 00:19:56,871 --> 00:19:59,605 Oh, my God, you're, like, a steak savant. 459 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,306 (Both chuckle) 460 00:20:01,342 --> 00:20:03,242 Not a lot to it, just meat and fire. 461 00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:04,510 (Chuckles) 462 00:20:04,545 --> 00:20:07,079 So what do you think? Bald cap or... 463 00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:08,380 It's a little too soon to... 464 00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,082 No, I know, it's just... 465 00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:11,250 I can't stop thinking about it. 466 00:20:11,285 --> 00:20:13,519 Oh, believe me, neither can we. 467 00:20:13,554 --> 00:20:15,854 So you guys still thinking about Susan Sarandon? 468 00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:18,557 'Cause I got to say, I could totally see that now. 469 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,592 (Sighs) 470 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,093 You know... (Chuckles) 471 00:20:21,128 --> 00:20:23,962 We don't need to bore your mother with work talk. 472 00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:26,135 She can't hear anything. 473 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:30,206 Ma, look out, Koreans! 474 00:20:31,172 --> 00:20:32,871 Believe me, if she could hear... 475 00:20:32,907 --> 00:20:34,606 (All chuckle) 476 00:20:34,642 --> 00:20:36,708 So Susan Sarandon? 477 00:20:36,744 --> 00:20:38,644 Where? 478 00:20:38,679 --> 00:20:41,013 That she heard. 479 00:20:41,048 --> 00:20:43,208 Well... (Clears throat) 480 00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:46,285 Here's the thing. 481 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,755 (Sighs) 482 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,626 The network is adamant about not going with "names." 483 00:20:54,662 --> 00:20:56,495 Oh. 484 00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:59,164 Sorry, Susan. (Chuckles) 485 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,099 So what then, just me and an ensemble? 486 00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:08,056 I'm afraid they are dead set against any names at all. 487 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,309 Wait, even me? 488 00:21:10,344 --> 00:21:12,110 Across the board. 489 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,112 Even me? 490 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:18,116 We think it's a huge mistake, but what can you do? 491 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,218 Fight it. 492 00:21:19,253 --> 00:21:20,686 That's what you can do. 493 00:21:20,721 --> 00:21:22,087 It's your show. 494 00:21:22,122 --> 00:21:23,956 You should have a say in who's in it. 495 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,457 Don't just roll over. 496 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:27,025 That's how you got screwed the last time. 497 00:21:27,061 --> 00:21:29,127 - Mm. - Oh, believe me. 498 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:31,997 We did not just roll over. 499 00:21:32,032 --> 00:21:34,633 We fought very hard for you. 500 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,602 Very, very hard. 501 00:21:36,637 --> 00:21:38,656 Who's dead? 502 00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,907 So who's this coming from? 503 00:21:41,942 --> 00:21:43,675 What's her name? The new Merc? 504 00:21:43,711 --> 00:21:45,577 - Helen, yeah. - Mm. 505 00:21:45,613 --> 00:21:48,347 What if I sat down with her? Is she cute? 506 00:21:48,382 --> 00:21:50,082 Maybe there's a card to play there. 507 00:21:50,117 --> 00:21:53,318 Trust me, you are never gonna crack that deck, 508 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,653 not even to shuffle. 509 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,655 - No? - Many Queens. 510 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,758 Not so much with the Kings and Jacks. 511 00:21:59,793 --> 00:22:02,227 Got it. All right, forget that. 512 00:22:02,263 --> 00:22:03,263 Let's just call her. 513 00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:04,930 Uh, what? What? 514 00:22:04,965 --> 00:22:07,165 Yeah, maybe the three of us can turn her around. 515 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,134 Oh, I'm sure she's already left the office. 516 00:22:09,169 --> 00:22:10,836 So we'll just call her at home. 517 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,138 What? Easy, Pinot Noir. 518 00:22:13,173 --> 00:22:16,008 - You can't just call her at home. - Why not? 519 00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,619 I'm sure my agent's got her number. 520 00:22:20,447 --> 00:22:21,947 You know, these guys actually like it 521 00:22:21,982 --> 00:22:23,315 when you treat them like people. 522 00:22:23,350 --> 00:22:25,817 But they're not. I agree with Sean. 523 00:22:25,853 --> 00:22:28,854 It would be a big mistake to bother... 524 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,022 Hey, it's Matt. 525 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,958 - Do you have Helen... - Basch. 526 00:22:32,993 --> 00:22:35,727 ...Basch's home phone? I'm here with Sean and Beverly. 527 00:22:35,763 --> 00:22:38,771 She told them she doesn't want me in their show. 528 00:22:39,466 --> 00:22:41,433 Really? 529 00:22:41,468 --> 00:22:43,635 Hang on. 530 00:22:43,671 --> 00:22:46,838 He's saying he spoke to her just to see what kind of money they're thinking, 531 00:22:46,874 --> 00:22:50,108 and she didn't even know you'd offered it to me. 532 00:22:50,144 --> 00:22:53,445 - Well, maybe... - (Exhales) 533 00:22:55,249 --> 00:23:00,419 He spoke to her before she spoke with us. 534 00:23:00,454 --> 00:23:02,054 You hear that? 535 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:06,970 He's saying he talked to her, like, an hour ago. 536 00:23:06,994 --> 00:23:08,593 - You were here an hour ago. - Well... 537 00:23:08,629 --> 00:23:12,064 There must be some logical explanation. 538 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:15,434 - It could be some kind... - We can get into it with her 539 00:23:15,469 --> 00:23:16,535 - in the morning. - ...of sinister network ploy. 540 00:23:16,570 --> 00:23:18,070 Y-yeah. 541 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:24,209 I'll call you back. 542 00:23:24,244 --> 00:23:25,444 (Phone beeps) 543 00:23:28,315 --> 00:23:30,615 Did you talk to her or not? 544 00:23:42,763 --> 00:23:44,096 Huh. 545 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:45,764 This is too rare for me. 546 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:48,746 It looks like it was in a car accident. 547 00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,470 I think she's got mine. 548 00:23:51,505 --> 00:23:53,271 Oh, my God. 549 00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:54,506 Please, here, take it. 550 00:23:54,541 --> 00:23:56,408 (Clears throat) 551 00:23:56,443 --> 00:23:57,843 Yeah, see? 552 00:23:57,878 --> 00:23:59,144 This one is cooked. 553 00:23:59,179 --> 00:24:02,080 Yes, it is. 554 00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,955 Do you want me in your show? 555 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:12,491 We know she'll never go for it. 556 00:24:12,526 --> 00:24:14,926 That's not what I asked. 557 00:24:14,962 --> 00:24:16,805 Do you... 558 00:24:18,032 --> 00:24:20,632 want me in your show? 559 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:34,646 Then why'd you make me read the fucking thing? 560 00:24:36,550 --> 00:24:38,683 Clearly I should not have. 561 00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,558 We're both so sorry. 562 00:24:46,593 --> 00:24:50,762 (Hacking) 563 00:24:50,798 --> 00:24:53,231 (Spits) 564 00:24:54,902 --> 00:24:56,835 Gristle. 565 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,037 Yes, it is. 566 00:25:05,846 --> 00:25:07,746 Perhaps it would be best if we left. 567 00:25:07,781 --> 00:25:08,914 (Clears throat) 568 00:25:08,949 --> 00:25:09,981 Where are they going? 569 00:25:10,017 --> 00:25:11,483 Where are you going? 570 00:25:11,518 --> 00:25:14,719 Um, I'm afraid we have to run, Mrs. LeBlanc. 571 00:25:14,755 --> 00:25:17,155 - What? - We have to leave now. 572 00:25:17,191 --> 00:25:18,757 It was so lovely... 573 00:25:18,792 --> 00:25:21,760 Wait, wait. 574 00:25:36,110 --> 00:25:38,777 If you could just tell your mother good night for us. 575 00:25:38,812 --> 00:25:40,245 Tiramisu. 576 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,013 Oh, no, that's very kind, 577 00:25:42,049 --> 00:25:43,410 but I'm afraid we really have to... 578 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:44,616 I made it. 579 00:25:44,651 --> 00:25:46,118 No, no, I-I know you did, but... 580 00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:47,619 It looks delicious, but we really must... 581 00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:49,054 Enjoy. 582 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,270 Mmm, it's brilliant. 583 00:26:04,304 --> 00:26:07,439 Mmm, this is such a treat. 584 00:26:15,749 --> 00:26:20,418 - We will remember this forever. - Mm. 585 00:26:27,561 --> 00:26:30,028 - Well, that was glorious. - More? 586 00:26:30,063 --> 00:26:31,429 - No. No, thank you. - No, no. No, no. 587 00:26:31,465 --> 00:26:32,631 Um... (Clears throat) 588 00:26:32,666 --> 00:26:35,100 All right then, so, uh... 589 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:37,435 We... we're off. 590 00:26:39,673 --> 00:26:41,006 Um... 591 00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:45,510 Again, we could not regret this more. 592 00:26:51,385 --> 00:26:52,385 We'll see you tomorrow. 593 00:26:52,386 --> 00:26:54,085 So sorry. 594 00:26:59,726 --> 00:27:03,028 - Very sorry. - So poorly handled. 595 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,000 Thank you for having us. 596 00:27:13,271 --> 00:27:15,151 - We must do this again. - What is wrong with you? 597 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:16,508 I don't know. 598 00:27:23,438 --> 00:27:25,676 They seem nice. 599 00:27:26,755 --> 00:27:29,294 Sync & corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com