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Written and Directed by
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GIRL WALKS INTO A BAR
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♪♪
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I'm sorry, I'm
waiting for someone.
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You are.
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Uh, under normal
circumstances,
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I'd never
turn you away,
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but this is a
business meeting.
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What kind of
business are you in?
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Um, I work in real estate
corporate real estate.
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What's your name?
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Look, I don't
mean to be rude
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I swear if you knew me
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I'm the last guy to say no
to a beautiful--
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Wow, you can't even
tell me your name?
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- Dennis.
- I don't believe you
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- Pardon me?
- Let's start over
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No, let's not--
I'm not-- Ican't--
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I, I-- is this like, uh...
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You're-- are you a
professional?
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A professional what?
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- I don't--
- I'll tell you my name.
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My name is Driver.
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You're kidding me.
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No, I don't have a
sense of humor.
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- You're Driver?
- Yes.
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- Frank didn't mention that--
- I had a vagina?
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It's not his job to talk
about my genitals, Nick.
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Jesus.
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I don't know how I
feel about this.
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Oh, if it changes
things for you.
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Well, yeah, it
changes things
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By all means, pay
attention to that.
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How do I know for
sure it's you?
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You have a dental practice on
Wilshire and Doheny,
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you've been married
two and a half years to Karen
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second marriage for you
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Your dog is named Hendrix
you drive a Land Cruiser,
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you hired Frank eight
weeks ago.
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Okay. Okay.
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You're not a cop
are you?
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Do I look like a cop?
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No.
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Frankly you look like a
Playmate of the month
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Want to frisk me?
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What?
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Do you Want to
pat me down?
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Are you messing with me
I can't tell.
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I already told you,
I have no sense of humor
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- Are you wired?
- What?
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00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:29,129
Are you wearing a wire right now
recording our conversation?
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- Of course not.
- Open your shirt.
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Here?
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You go to the gym three
times a week,
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what's the problem?
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My tum.
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Jesus Christ, what
are you doing?
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It's LA, Nick, nobody notices
some chick lifting her shirt.
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So how do we, uh...
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how does this work?
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Frank didn't
walk you through it?
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He said the less I knew
the better
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and it'd be done within
the week.
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That's pretty much
all there is to it.
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If you knew
me, you'd realize
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I'm really the most
harmless guy.
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We're all pretty harmless
until we're cornered, Nick
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Sometimes we find ourselves in
an unbearable situation,
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options dry up and we
resort to drastic measures
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It's called survival
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I'm not a shrink, I'm not
a priest,
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you don't need to justify
yourself to me.
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But I'm no idiot,
I realize these things
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go south more often
than not
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Well, not exactly more
often than not, but yes
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there's always a risk
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Thing to remember with
cops regardless of what you read
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in detective novels or
watch on TV,
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they're pretty dumb
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Until they're not
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If you feel so strongly
about it,
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maybe you
should get up, walk away
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and we never had this
conversation.
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I'm passed that point
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and Frank says you're
the best
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Well, I don't like
to brag,
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but you're welcome
to ask around.
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How did you learn
to do this?
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Why, you writing a book?
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No, I'm sorry
I'm just--
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It helps me to talk
this through.
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The less you know about
me, the better all around
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Yeah.
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I helped liberate Kuwait.
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I learned on the job exactly
how to be all that I can be.
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Strange world
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Safer for you trust me.
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How do you mean?
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In this line of work, you can't
imagine the amount of guys
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who fall for their targets
and then you've bought yourself
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a world-class headache.
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No kidding?
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Most men see themselves
as saviors,
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they want
to fix things
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Main problem between men
and women right there,
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women like to talk about
their problems in detail
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ad nauseam.
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Men just want to fix them
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and move onto
something more stimulating.
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- Yeah.
- Like blow jobs, sure.
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Why did you
say that out loud?
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A lot of guys don't
have the ovaries for this job
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Now, what's it
gonna be?
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( Whispered )
Do it.
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That's 20K
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But half before
Frank said.
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I remember what
Frank said.
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Well, I don't
have it on me
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I can go, I can get it
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I can be back
within two hours
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I'll be here.
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Ah so that's H then?
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Until you bring me
the first half and I give you
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instructions on how to get me
the second half.
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Frank will handle that
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After tonight, you'll
never see me again
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and your
wife will be dead
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No misunderstandings, let
me hear you say it.
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No misunderstandings
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I want her dead
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Nick: No misunderstandings
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( recording fast forwarding )
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I want her dead
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( phone ringing )
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- Sam.
- Sam: Did you get it?
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- Igot it.
- Great work
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00:06:09,173 --> 00:06:11,312
Just hold on to that tape, let's
see where he goes.
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Right, he said he'd be
back here in a couple of hours
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Perfect.
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( door opening )
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- Hold on!
- man: Sorry
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Just sit back, relax, have
a drink on me.
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Two even.
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Talk to you soon.
145
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Hey sorry about that.
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Oh, no problem.
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I'd like to make
it up to you.
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No need.
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Here you go.
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00:06:35,866 --> 00:06:37,777
I see you're the kind
of guy that takes initiative
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Is that bad?
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00:06:38,836 --> 00:06:40,042
No, it'll serve
you well.
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Don't they
card people anymore?
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I'm older than I look
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- 12?
- Cheers.
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- Henry.
- Francine
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Can I ask you a
question, Francine?
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It depends.
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By some miracle of
circumstance,
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I happened
to look over there
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and you were lifting your
shirt for that guy.
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Hmm, that's not
a question.
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My question, and call me
a hopeless romantic,
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is about the extraordinary
possibility of those being real
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Could they be?
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You need a girlfriend.
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I have a girlfriend.
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- Where is she?
- Stood me up.
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00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:12,614
Aw, a tale of woe, playing
on my sympathy.
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Good luck with that
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Are you waiting
for someone?
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00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:20,512
Nope, just gonna sit here
and watch you shoot some pool
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Pm not very good
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Hmm, what would a pool
shark say?
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I could teach you
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How do you know
I'm not one?
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That's a good point
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00:07:32,656 --> 00:07:34,533
Maybe you flash guys and
take them for all they're worth
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You'll never know
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00:07:40,664 --> 00:07:43,838
But what I love most of
all is photography.
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00:07:43,901 --> 00:07:46,404
Some of my teachers say
I have a real knack for it.
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I get myself
into dangerous situations
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and document them
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People seem to trust me
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Like gang bangers and bikers
weird-ass freaks
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00:07:55,112 --> 00:07:56,955
who by all means should be
kicking the crap out of me.
187
00:07:57,014 --> 00:07:58,789
They don't
find me threatening
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They tell me stuff
189
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It's a weird talent
190
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What?
191
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You remind me
of my ex-husband
192
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Ouch
193
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No, he had some
good qualities.
194
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Okay, he's a son of
a bitch,
195
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but he once
had a great ass
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Wow, I feel
objectified here
197
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Tell me the truth
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00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:21,713
did you pick the bathroom
lock earlier?
199
00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:24,343
Because I know for a fact
that I locked it.
200
00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:27,582
That sounds all wrong
201
00:08:27,645 --> 00:08:30,319
Truth is I was just
looking for an excuse
202
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to talk to you
203
00:08:31,949 --> 00:08:33,428
You weren't trying to get
into the bathroom with me?
204
00:08:33,484 --> 00:08:35,828
No, that's not very
gentleman-like.
205
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:37,559
Not to mention unhygienic
206
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:39,259
On that note, I'll
be right back.
207
00:09:04,081 --> 00:09:05,458
Which way did
he go?
208
00:09:05,516 --> 00:09:07,189
I don't know
209
00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:08,958
She just walked
out on her bill.
210
00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:13,231
- Is he a regular?
- No.
211
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:14,598
Hey, your friend said
you'd settle it.
212
00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:15,636
He is not my friend
213
00:09:15,693 --> 00:09:16,865
Well you looked pretty
friendly to me.
214
00:09:16,927 --> 00:09:17,997
Yeah, well, he stole my
wallet with my keys, everything
215
00:09:18,062 --> 00:09:19,234
Jesus, do you want
me to call the cops?
216
00:09:19,296 --> 00:09:20,331
No, no cops.
217
00:09:20,397 --> 00:09:21,341
You have never
seen him before?
218
00:09:21,398 --> 00:09:22,376
No.
219
00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,605
I have.
220
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,943
- Really?
- Yeah, a couple weeks ago,
221
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:29,473
I saw him hitting on this
little hottie at the Tonga Hut
222
00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:31,110
Okay do you
know her name?
223
00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:33,849
No, but she has a tattoo
on her shoulder.
224
00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:35,549
It says “Lucky you. “
225
00:09:35,613 --> 00:09:37,786
Listen, here is
my number,
226
00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:40,260
you hear
anything, you call me.
227
00:09:40,317 --> 00:09:42,024
And the tab?
228
00:09:42,086 --> 00:09:43,224
I just told you he
stole my wallet.
229
00:09:43,287 --> 00:09:44,630
Yeah so you say
230
00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:45,894
- What, you think this is some
elaborate routine
231
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:46,957
to not
pay you, I'm a cop
232
00:09:47,024 --> 00:09:48,526
- You're a cop?
- Ex-cop.
233
00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:49,627
And he
stole your wallet
234
00:09:49,693 --> 00:09:51,468
Save it, I'll find him,
I'll be back in an hour
235
00:09:54,031 --> 00:09:58,138
♪♪
236
00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:03,784
♪♪
237
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,495
Teri: The roaming eye
alights a solitary, young woman
238
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:27,235
walking through a den
of ill repute.
239
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:30,767
You know this place or
surely know one like it.
240
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,575
These so-called palaces
of sin
241
00:10:32,636 --> 00:10:36,345
where young women in flimsy
underwear gyrate robotically
242
00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,011
while male
patrons with an otherwise
243
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:41,921
catastrophically moldy grasp of
male-female communication skills
244
00:10:41,979 --> 00:10:44,391
try out
their studliest one-liners
245
00:10:44,448 --> 00:10:46,018
amidst a barrage
of staring
246
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:49,587
and drooling
and wagging of tongues
247
00:10:49,653 --> 00:10:52,566
The clientele at these places is
fairly interchangeable.
248
00:10:52,623 --> 00:10:55,695
You've met one peeler bar
customer, you've met them all
249
00:10:55,759 --> 00:10:58,763
These guys seem to only listen
to Motley Crue or maybe Zeppelin
250
00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:01,070
and love to play golf.
251
00:11:01,131 --> 00:11:03,577
They usually vote for
the most conservative politician
252
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:06,706
as long as he looks and sounds
like a jock.
253
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:10,446
Now that we've
established our setting
254
00:11:10,507 --> 00:11:12,851
let me take this opportunity
to introduce the young woman
255
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,514
with what the consensus
of the day,
256
00:11:14,578 --> 00:11:17,559
would surely deem
an extraordinary behind
257
00:11:17,614 --> 00:11:19,821
and a practiced strut
258
00:11:19,883 --> 00:11:22,659
That would be me
stage name... Trix
259
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,462
Catholic name...
Teresa Augustina
260
00:11:25,522 --> 00:11:27,729
preferred name Terr
261
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:31,762
One look at me, all supple youth
and feline affectation,
262
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:35,436
you'd correctly assess I
neither stand out nor blend in
263
00:11:35,499 --> 00:11:37,274
Appearing by all
conventional notions
264
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:40,941
to simply be one more apathetic
skin-trade participant.
265
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,211
The type of girl
with little or no connection
266
00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:46,220
to the bra burning activists
of yesteryear.
267
00:11:46,276 --> 00:11:48,552
Lucky you,
says dare number one.
268
00:11:48,612 --> 00:11:51,559
Dare number two occupies
a more private place.
269
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:53,959
Although here
the term private is relative
270
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,861
like all my lucid revelations
are relative,
271
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,366
like my loathing for
gentlemen such as this one
272
00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:01,232
is relative.
273
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,271
What do you say I take you
far away from all these creeps
274
00:12:03,327 --> 00:12:07,173
and I show you a dozen
tricks I can do with my tongue?
275
00:12:07,231 --> 00:12:09,404
Loathsome because, well
276
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:12,447
it's just hideous how he assumes
everybody else is a creep
277
00:12:12,503 --> 00:12:15,347
but not him and his
horrifying invitation
278
00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:19,683
And relative because I'm pretty
sure he's my second cousin.
279
00:12:19,743 --> 00:12:21,848
However, none of
this occupies my thoughts
280
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:24,358
as I apply my war paint
and tuck and cover
281
00:12:24,414 --> 00:12:26,860
all my fetishized bits
282
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:28,658
those parts
deemed the most exciting
283
00:12:28,719 --> 00:12:30,289
in the fashion of
the moment.
284
00:12:30,354 --> 00:12:32,857
No, what occupies my thoughts
is the reminder
285
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:34,834
that I'm not
a woman of action
286
00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:36,462
I'm a woman of will
287
00:12:36,527 --> 00:12:39,371
but I can't believe in my will
unless I act from it.
288
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,070
Onstage is where I truly
come alive, where I shine
289
00:12:47,137 --> 00:12:49,845
where I kick serious ass
290
00:12:49,907 --> 00:12:51,113
You're coming for
drinks after, right?
291
00:12:51,175 --> 00:12:53,621
I can't tonight, sorry
292
00:12:53,677 --> 00:12:54,849
This is the highlight
of my day.
293
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,448
The rest is paste
294
00:12:56,513 --> 00:12:58,288
When their eyes
and crotches are hot-wired
295
00:12:58,348 --> 00:13:00,794
to my every tiniest
single move,
296
00:13:00,851 --> 00:13:02,262
that's when I stop time
297
00:13:02,319 --> 00:13:06,563
and I become myself
the real me.
298
00:13:06,623 --> 00:13:09,968
Theresa the Astonishing!
299
00:13:10,027 --> 00:13:11,836
But you already
knew that.
300
00:13:11,895 --> 00:13:14,705
Cunning feats of mentalism
and supernatural amusements
301
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:17,507
performed with
the drop of a hat.
302
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:19,275
Theresa the Astonishing
can tell
303
00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:20,940
with the blink
of an eye
304
00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:23,780
that Ricky here is obsessed
with his neighbor Collette
305
00:13:23,841 --> 00:13:26,617
and that her complete dismissal
of his pathetic advances
306
00:13:26,677 --> 00:13:31,183
has caused him to purchase
some gamma hydroxyl butyrate
307
00:13:31,248 --> 00:13:33,091
to slip into her drink
later tonight.
308
00:13:35,819 --> 00:13:37,856
That Jimmy is secretly
deeply in love
309
00:13:37,921 --> 00:13:39,867
with his best friend Roger
310
00:13:39,923 --> 00:13:42,062
even though he's
assisted his sociopathic friend
311
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:45,299
more than once in bashing what
Roger here so sweetly calls,
312
00:13:45,362 --> 00:13:48,241
“Dumb-ass homo pussies “
313
00:13:51,368 --> 00:13:54,315
That Emir Horsain beats
his mistress.
314
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:57,716
That Regis Blackburn Senior
raped his wife repeatedly.
315
00:13:57,774 --> 00:14:00,778
That Marko Castillano is
deep-down a sensitive man
316
00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:03,290
who could potentially learn
to respect women,
317
00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:05,520
but then he does that and
you realize
318
00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:07,425
he's got a way to go.
319
00:14:07,484 --> 00:14:09,964
Maybe he doesn't need all
this trust fund cash.
320
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,364
That in his longing for
female companionship
321
00:14:12,422 --> 00:14:15,892
Nestor "Needle Dick"
Molina, has been harassing
322
00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:18,405
a mute, young clerk at the
public library,
323
00:14:18,462 --> 00:14:23,172
humiliating her
with his dirty insinuations.
324
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:25,213
- Are you sorry?
- Sorry?
325
00:14:25,269 --> 00:14:27,271
I'm doing her a favor
326
00:14:27,337 --> 00:14:28,338
What's the problem?
327
00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:29,611
No problem, Needle Dick
328
00:14:29,673 --> 00:14:30,651
Let me see it.
329
00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:34,018
See what--
Hey, what are you--
330
00:14:34,077 --> 00:14:36,819
Sometimes Teresa feels
mischievous.
331
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,757
Sometimes she
can go too far.
332
00:14:38,815 --> 00:14:41,989
But that's why she's called
astonishing, people.
333
00:14:44,588 --> 00:14:47,569
Hmm, three inches
334
00:14:47,624 --> 00:14:49,467
I suppose he could
be a grower.
335
00:14:51,228 --> 00:14:52,798
Sensitive question, Nelson
336
00:14:52,863 --> 00:14:54,672
are you a grower
or a show-er?
337
00:14:54,731 --> 00:14:57,541
Don't lie
now, this is vital
338
00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,171
Pm a grower
339
00:14:59,236 --> 00:15:00,340
You lyin'.
340
00:15:00,404 --> 00:15:02,145
Too bad
341
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,412
The whole game is
rigged against us.
342
00:15:04,474 --> 00:15:07,455
Somebody's gotta tip the
scales once in a while.
343
00:15:07,511 --> 00:15:10,390
Pow, pow, pow
344
00:15:10,447 --> 00:15:13,087
Die, little douche bags
345
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:17,223
The women of the world
sleep a little cozier tonight
346
00:15:17,287 --> 00:15:19,563
( applauding )
347
00:15:24,661 --> 00:15:27,505
They are such world-class
jerks tonight.
348
00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:29,009
I don't know how
you do it.
349
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:31,012
Gotta lighten up, babe
350
00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:32,706
I hate this job
351
00:15:32,769 --> 00:15:34,942
( phone ring tone)
352
00:15:35,005 --> 00:15:37,007
Hey baby cakes
353
00:15:37,074 --> 00:15:39,884
No, perfect timing
I just finished.
354
00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:41,354
Okay celosita.
355
00:15:41,411 --> 00:15:42,446
Bye
356
00:15:49,553 --> 00:15:53,660
A wife wants to take her
husband to a strip club
357
00:15:53,724 --> 00:15:55,829
for his birthday,
all right?
358
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,202
So they go to the
strip club,
359
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,797
doorman sees the guy
360
00:15:59,863 --> 00:16:02,776
he says “Hey Dave
how you been?“
361
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:04,506
Walking in,
the wife says
362
00:16:04,568 --> 00:16:06,377
How did he know
your name?
363
00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:08,074
You been to
this strip club before?
364
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:10,744
He says, "No, no, no, that guy's
on the bowling team.
365
00:16:10,807 --> 00:16:13,481
We bowl every
Thursday night together," right
366
00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:16,456
Sit down at the table, waitress
comes over and says,
367
00:16:16,513 --> 00:16:18,459
"Hey, Dave,
you want the usual?"
368
00:16:18,515 --> 00:16:21,223
She brings him over
a Budweiser.
369
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,422
She says, "Wait a minute
370
00:16:22,486 --> 00:16:24,488
how did that woman know
you drink Budweiser?"
371
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:27,125
He says, "Well, she's on
the ladies bowling team,
372
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,726
they all know what
I drink.
373
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:30,362
Come on, relax
374
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:32,566
Next thing you know, a stripper
comes over,
375
00:16:32,629 --> 00:16:34,438
jumps right
on his lap and says
376
00:16:34,498 --> 00:16:38,105
"Hi, Davey, you want
the usual lap dance?"
377
00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:40,944
That's it, the wife picks
up her bag, leaves the place
378
00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:42,950
Dave runs after her
he goes outside.
379
00:16:43,006 --> 00:16:44,849
She's just
jumping into a cab
380
00:16:44,908 --> 00:16:47,286
He opens the door, he jumps
in behind her, he says,
381
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:48,982
Look,honey,honey
I'm telling you,
382
00:16:49,046 --> 00:16:52,289
that-- that woman must have
thought I was somebody else.
383
00:16:52,349 --> 00:16:53,726
She's not having it
the wife,
384
00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:55,525
she's screaming
at the top of her lungs
385
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,997
calling him every name
in the book.
386
00:16:58,055 --> 00:17:00,160
The cab driver turns
around at that moment and says
387
00:17:00,223 --> 00:17:04,171
"Looks like you picked
up a real bitch tonight, Dave
388
00:17:04,227 --> 00:17:06,207
( men laughing )
389
00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:15,583
Bill-- Billy, Billy
can't you see
390
00:17:15,639 --> 00:17:16,811
we're playing
cards, you know?
391
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:18,216
This guy's giving
me a headache.
392
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,778
He said it's urgent
393
00:17:20,844 --> 00:17:22,448
Aw, Billy
394
00:17:22,512 --> 00:17:25,356
All right, be
right back.
395
00:17:25,415 --> 00:17:26,826
Don't look at my cards
396
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,996
Hey.
397
00:17:36,059 --> 00:17:38,733
Mr. Aldo, I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to interrupt you
398
00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,172
I know you?
399
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:41,573
Yo, it's Nick.
400
00:17:41,631 --> 00:17:43,076
Nick.
401
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:45,374
Nicholas, your dentist
402
00:17:45,435 --> 00:17:46,812
My dentist?
403
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,009
Nick, you almost gave
me a heart attack.
404
00:17:49,072 --> 00:17:50,312
I'm in
the middle of a game.
405
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:52,250
My mind is elsewhere
406
00:17:52,309 --> 00:17:53,982
What are you doing here?
407
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:59,426
Um, actually it's
about the funds.
408
00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,520
The funds?
409
00:18:01,585 --> 00:18:04,327
Yeah, you know, the money I gave
you to hold for me to invest.
410
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,197
The-- remember the 20 grand?
411
00:18:07,257 --> 00:18:08,759
Yeah, I remember
412
00:18:08,825 --> 00:18:11,101
- You need it?
- I do.
413
00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:12,105
Right now?
414
00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:13,937
Yeah, sorry for
the late notice.
415
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:15,408
I tried to get in touch
with you, I left you
416
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:18,776
- a couple of messages, but--
- You called my house?
417
00:18:18,835 --> 00:18:19,973
Yeah.
418
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:21,845
You speak to my wife?
419
00:18:21,905 --> 00:18:23,976
Yes.
420
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,986
How did she sound?
421
00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:28,318
Did she sound
out of breath?
422
00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:29,755
( Panting )
423
00:18:29,813 --> 00:18:31,121
What?
424
00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:32,717
I'm just kidding you.
425
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:36,559
I trust my wife implicitly
on all matters.
426
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:39,157
Give me ten minutes, I'm
finishing this hand,
427
00:18:39,222 --> 00:18:40,701
I'll get you your money.
428
00:18:40,757 --> 00:18:41,792
See I'm in a
little bit of a hur--
429
00:18:41,858 --> 00:18:43,701
No, no, no,
just have a drink
430
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,899
Tommy, give my dentist
a drink.
431
00:18:45,962 --> 00:18:49,205
There's a singer coming
up, really good voice, relax
432
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:03,451
man: Tress.
433
00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:04,583
Excuse me?
434
00:19:04,648 --> 00:19:07,458
Tress, mess.
435
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:11,488
Uh, I got no idea what
you're talking about.
436
00:19:11,555 --> 00:19:13,330
Down with the manners
up with the dress.
437
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:16,735
Johnny sweet-talked
Alice into this mess.
438
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:19,433
Is that some
kind of a rhyme?
439
00:19:19,496 --> 00:19:21,339
Into duress
440
00:19:21,398 --> 00:19:23,742
You some kind of poet?
441
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,541
Now, now she's depressed
442
00:19:25,602 --> 00:19:27,172
- Now who's depressed?
- That could work.
443
00:19:27,237 --> 00:19:28,409
Down with the manners
up with the dress.
444
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:31,816
Johnny sweet-talked Alice
now who's depressed?
445
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,548
It's ambiguous
446
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:34,884
Could be Johnny's the
one who's depressed.
447
00:19:34,945 --> 00:19:39,018
I get it, you're
the singer here
448
00:19:39,082 --> 00:19:40,152
Teddy Wright.
449
00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:42,356
Nick.
450
00:19:42,419 --> 00:19:44,023
Nick.
451
00:19:44,087 --> 00:19:46,931
Are you in some
sort of trouble?
452
00:19:46,990 --> 00:19:48,298
Why do you say that?
453
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:51,100
You just got a puzzling
way about you.
454
00:19:51,161 --> 00:19:52,868
You know, you should mind
your own business.
455
00:19:52,929 --> 00:19:54,465
Well, I didn't mean
to antagonize you.
456
00:19:54,531 --> 00:19:56,374
I was just under the impression
that a bar is like a church,
457
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,470
a place where a guy can go
to be left alone
458
00:19:58,535 --> 00:19:59,809
and think in peace
459
00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:00,904
One would think so
460
00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:02,450
Yeah, one would be
wrong, wouldn't one?
461
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,416
Don't get all
riled up now
462
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:05,851
I'm just saying
463
00:20:05,909 --> 00:20:08,685
man: One more time
Teddy Wright.
464
00:20:08,745 --> 00:20:10,986
Farewell, my sinking ship
465
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:16,162
( applause )
466
00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:29,205
♪ Down with the manners
up with the dress ♪
467
00:20:29,266 --> 00:20:33,078
♪ Johnny sweet talked
Alice into this mess ♪
468
00:20:33,136 --> 00:20:36,913
♪ No you don't bring checkers
to the big game of chess ♪
469
00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:40,921
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪
470
00:20:40,977 --> 00:20:45,289
♪ You know that
only bad can come ♪
471
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:50,759
♪ Down with the shutters
up with the lights ♪
472
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:54,700
♪ Johnny sweet-talked Alice
all through the night ♪
473
00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:58,399
♪ No world full of kisses
gonna make it all right. ♪
474
00:20:58,461 --> 00:21:02,375
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪
475
00:21:02,432 --> 00:21:05,140
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪
476
00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:10,716
♪ Listen to your ma ♪
477
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:14,654
♪ Listen to your pa ♪
478
00:21:14,711 --> 00:21:18,352
♪ Listen to your heart ♪
479
00:21:18,415 --> 00:21:22,363
♪ Listen to the law ♪
480
00:21:22,419 --> 00:21:24,990
♪ Only bad can come ♪
481
00:21:27,924 --> 00:21:31,201
♪ Down with the manners
up with the dress ♪
482
00:21:31,261 --> 00:21:35,266
♪ Johnny sweet-talked Alice
now who's depressed ♪
483
00:21:35,332 --> 00:21:38,939
♪ Now you don't bring checkers
to the big game of chess ♪
484
00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:42,848
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪
485
00:21:42,906 --> 00:21:46,718
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪
486
00:21:46,776 --> 00:21:50,349
♪ You know that only
bad can come ♪♪
487
00:21:54,918 --> 00:21:58,889
Dentist, I got the good
news and I got the bad news
488
00:21:58,955 --> 00:22:01,333
The good news, I have your
money, don't worry,
489
00:22:01,391 --> 00:22:04,201
but I can't give it
to you tonight.
490
00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:06,570
I don't see how that's
good news for me.
491
00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:08,700
No that's the bad news
492
00:22:08,765 --> 00:22:11,336
Um, okay,
I just really-
493
00:22:11,401 --> 00:22:13,244
I need that money tonight
494
00:22:13,303 --> 00:22:17,445
I-- I know,
but I don't have it here.
495
00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:19,111
- Where is it?
-It's not here.
496
00:22:19,175 --> 00:22:21,246
I can't get
it until tomorrow
497
00:22:21,311 --> 00:22:22,984
But I-- I just-
498
00:22:23,046 --> 00:22:24,582
I need it, I really need
it tonight.
499
00:22:24,647 --> 00:22:25,990
I understand
500
00:22:26,049 --> 00:22:28,928
That's why when Billy
told me his idea,
501
00:22:28,985 --> 00:22:31,056
I said, "Ah-ha!
502
00:22:31,121 --> 00:22:34,591
We kill two birds, one
stone, everybody's happy."
503
00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:36,000
What idea?
504
00:22:36,059 --> 00:22:38,266
Billy has to go pick something
up for me tonight,
505
00:22:38,328 --> 00:22:40,171
but he
can't go alone
506
00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:43,609
So he said, why don't
you go with him?
507
00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:46,203
This way
you can get your money
508
00:22:46,269 --> 00:22:47,771
What does he
have to pick up?
509
00:22:47,837 --> 00:22:50,283
- Money.
- Money... for you.
510
00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:53,514
Yeah, money for me.
511
00:22:53,576 --> 00:22:55,886
Look, Mr. Aldo, I mean,
all due respect here,
512
00:22:55,945 --> 00:23:02,294
I don't want to get
involved in your business
513
00:23:02,352 --> 00:23:04,093
What business is that?
514
00:23:04,154 --> 00:23:05,326
It's none
of my business
515
00:23:05,388 --> 00:23:07,265
Don't get cute with me
what business is that?
516
00:23:07,323 --> 00:23:08,495
I don't
know, I'm a dentist.
517
00:23:08,558 --> 00:23:11,334
Oh, oh, so that--
okay, you're a dentist
518
00:23:11,394 --> 00:23:14,102
That means you're not
accountable for what you say?
519
00:23:14,164 --> 00:23:15,302
What business?
520
00:23:15,365 --> 00:23:20,314
Look, all I'm saying is,
you know, you know some guys
521
00:23:20,370 --> 00:23:21,872
I know some guys?
522
00:23:21,938 --> 00:23:24,111
Yeah, sure, I know
some guys.
523
00:23:24,174 --> 00:23:25,881
Billy knows some guys
524
00:23:25,942 --> 00:23:27,751
Everybody knows
some guys
525
00:23:27,811 --> 00:23:30,291
Well, for example
I don't.
526
00:23:30,346 --> 00:23:32,417
I don't know any guys
that's all I'm saying.
527
00:23:32,482 --> 00:23:33,517
All you're saying
528
00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:37,030
Yeah
529
00:23:37,086 --> 00:23:42,001
But it's how you're
saying, is a little...
530
00:23:42,058 --> 00:23:43,731
I don't know
531
00:23:43,793 --> 00:23:47,206
A more sensitive man might think
you might be insulting him.
532
00:23:47,263 --> 00:23:49,140
No no no no-- no no
533
00:23:49,199 --> 00:23:51,179
That is
the last thing I want to do.
534
00:23:51,234 --> 00:23:53,373
Good, then the quicker you
go with Billy,
535
00:23:53,436 --> 00:23:55,814
the quicker
you get your 20Gs
536
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,252
( exhaling )
537
00:24:08,718 --> 00:24:13,189
♪♪
538
00:24:22,098 --> 00:24:23,304
- Howdy
- Howdy
539
00:24:23,366 --> 00:24:24,436
What can I get you?
540
00:24:24,501 --> 00:24:25,912
I'm looking for a girl
I here comes here,
541
00:24:25,969 --> 00:24:28,108
she's got a tattoo on her
shoulder that says, Lucky you
542
00:24:28,171 --> 00:24:30,242
Oh, well, lots of
people come here
543
00:24:30,306 --> 00:24:32,980
I can't check out
every tattoo.
544
00:24:33,042 --> 00:24:35,283
Is that her?
545
00:24:35,345 --> 00:24:36,415
No.
546
00:24:36,479 --> 00:24:37,583
How can you be sure?
547
00:24:37,647 --> 00:24:39,183
I'm not,
I don't know
548
00:24:39,249 --> 00:24:40,694
Why pick her and not her?
549
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,286
You didn't look surreptitiously
in her direction
550
00:24:42,352 --> 00:24:44,127
when I
mentioned the tattoo
551
00:24:44,187 --> 00:24:45,427
You want a drink or what?
552
00:24:45,488 --> 00:24:47,126
Look, she's not in any trouble
but a guy she knows is
553
00:24:47,190 --> 00:24:48,692
and I don't have
a lot of time to find him
554
00:24:48,758 --> 00:24:50,260
I just serve
drinks, you know?
555
00:24:50,326 --> 00:24:51,805
Help me out?
556
00:24:54,264 --> 00:24:56,266
Some of the girls from Chick
Planet come here after work.
557
00:24:56,332 --> 00:24:58,642
I think maybe I've
seen Lucky eat with those two
558
00:24:58,701 --> 00:25:00,510
You are a princess
559
00:25:00,570 --> 00:25:01,776
What are they drinking?
560
00:25:01,838 --> 00:25:03,215
Uh, Tonga Lei
and a Zombie.
561
00:25:03,273 --> 00:25:04,445
Let's do
two more of those
562
00:25:11,147 --> 00:25:12,990
I'm looking for a friend of
yours with a tattoo
563
00:25:13,049 --> 00:25:14,119
that says “Lucky you “
564
00:25:14,183 --> 00:25:15,719
She's not in trouble, but
a guy she knows is,
565
00:25:15,785 --> 00:25:18,095
and I need to find him
right away.
566
00:25:18,154 --> 00:25:19,997
What did he do?
567
00:25:20,056 --> 00:25:21,797
He stole my wallet
568
00:25:21,858 --> 00:25:23,269
(laughing)
569
00:25:23,326 --> 00:25:24,999
but that's not What
Pm after
570
00:25:25,061 --> 00:25:27,405
- Sorry that's not funny
- Yeah Sorry
571
00:25:27,463 --> 00:25:29,465
He took evidence from a
case I'm working on.
572
00:25:29,532 --> 00:25:32,809
(laughing)
573
00:25:32,869 --> 00:25:34,212
Friggin' Henry, man
574
00:25:34,270 --> 00:25:35,374
That's him
575
00:25:35,438 --> 00:25:36,712
- Did you do him?
- Excuse me?
576
00:25:36,773 --> 00:25:39,185
- He's really suave.
- He's not a bad kid
577
00:25:39,242 --> 00:25:40,482
Are you gonna
arrest him?
578
00:25:40,543 --> 00:25:41,817
He just loves
himself the ladies
579
00:25:41,878 --> 00:25:43,983
I don't care about him except
to get back what he took.
580
00:25:44,047 --> 00:25:45,549
I don't
know where he is
581
00:25:45,615 --> 00:25:46,889
Well, what
about his girlfriend?
582
00:25:46,950 --> 00:25:48,122
What girlfriend?
583
00:25:48,184 --> 00:25:49,128
The one with the tattoo
584
00:25:49,185 --> 00:25:50,858
- Teri?
- That's his sister.
585
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:51,898
Can you call her?
586
00:25:51,955 --> 00:25:53,434
She should
be here any minute
587
00:25:53,489 --> 00:25:55,366
but I don't know that she
knows where he is.
588
00:25:55,425 --> 00:25:57,200
Okay, this is a
life-or-death situation
589
00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:06,943
Henry's secret is that he's a
really talented photographer
590
00:26:07,003 --> 00:26:08,505
So he said.
591
00:26:08,571 --> 00:26:09,811
He did?
592
00:26:09,872 --> 00:26:13,718
That's unlike him, he's usually
very modest about that stuff.
593
00:26:13,776 --> 00:26:16,347
I think it's because he
really cares about it.
594
00:26:16,412 --> 00:26:17,948
What are you good at?
595
00:26:18,014 --> 00:26:19,516
What do you mean?
596
00:26:19,582 --> 00:26:21,425
You look like you're
really good at something
597
00:26:21,484 --> 00:26:24,658
and I can't figure
out what it is.
598
00:26:24,721 --> 00:26:27,895
Me, I prefer to be amused
than to be amusing,
599
00:26:27,957 --> 00:26:32,565
but this weed is making
me so paranoid.
600
00:26:32,629 --> 00:26:34,108
I'm usually really
articulate.
601
00:26:34,163 --> 00:26:35,642
No problem.
602
00:26:35,698 --> 00:26:38,838
It all goes back to my
fear of being buried alive
603
00:26:38,901 --> 00:26:39,936
You're afraid of that?
604
00:26:40,003 --> 00:26:42,279
I think about it a lot
605
00:26:42,338 --> 00:26:43,783
That's a pretty
bad way to go
606
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,719
Yeah yeah
second Worst
607
00:26:46,776 --> 00:26:48,119
What's worse?
608
00:26:48,177 --> 00:26:49,747
Dying in your sleep
609
00:26:49,812 --> 00:26:51,450
Why... that seems like
the best way.
610
00:26:51,514 --> 00:26:53,494
That's what they
want you to think
611
00:26:53,549 --> 00:26:55,187
- Who?
- Grown-ups.
612
00:26:55,251 --> 00:26:59,666
The people running things
and the church, you know?
613
00:26:59,722 --> 00:27:02,032
They don't really want you
to stop and think about it.
614
00:27:02,091 --> 00:27:03,934
How so?
615
00:27:03,993 --> 00:27:07,372
Well, everybody thinks
that dying in your sleep
616
00:27:07,430 --> 00:27:11,242
is the best way to go, but
it scares the hell out of me
617
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:13,405
I mean, what if you're
having a nightmare
618
00:27:13,469 --> 00:27:15,642
and you're being chased
by someone
619
00:27:15,705 --> 00:27:17,241
or you're about to jump
off a cliff
620
00:27:17,306 --> 00:27:19,786
and then you have a
heart attack and cite?
621
00:27:19,842 --> 00:27:22,652
I mean, everybody
just thinks,
622
00:27:22,712 --> 00:27:25,022
"Oh, they went
peacefully, it's so great
623
00:27:25,081 --> 00:27:26,617
You know, they're lucky
they didn't suffer."
624
00:27:26,683 --> 00:27:28,685
Blah blah blah
625
00:27:28,751 --> 00:27:30,731
It is the worse
way to go.
626
00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:32,391
I just left her
a message and I texted her
627
00:27:32,455 --> 00:27:34,059
so we just gotta wait
628
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:36,933
Thank you
629
00:27:36,993 --> 00:27:40,031
No friggin' way, look
who just walked in.
630
00:27:40,096 --> 00:27:41,575
Oh, no.
631
00:27:41,631 --> 00:27:42,803
Who is it?
632
00:27:42,865 --> 00:27:44,003
A real creep from
Chick Planet,
633
00:27:44,067 --> 00:27:45,375
he must
have followed us
634
00:27:45,435 --> 00:27:46,812
He's in love with Teri
635
00:27:46,869 --> 00:27:48,143
Don't look over
don't look.
636
00:27:48,204 --> 00:27:49,649
Is he coming over?
637
00:27:49,706 --> 00:27:51,151
He's coming over.
638
00:27:53,476 --> 00:27:55,114
Ladies...
639
00:27:55,178 --> 00:27:57,317
hey, do you know what
winks and screws like a tiger?
640
00:27:57,380 --> 00:27:58,450
No.
641
00:27:59,816 --> 00:28:01,022
I'm Ralph
642
00:28:01,084 --> 00:28:02,757
Detective Francine Driver
643
00:28:02,819 --> 00:28:06,858
Okay, pirate captain Ralph
expert at pillaging booty.
644
00:28:06,923 --> 00:28:09,199
We're off work, man,
give us a break.
645
00:28:09,258 --> 00:28:10,328
It's a free
country, right?
646
00:28:10,393 --> 00:28:11,497
We didn't ask you
to sit down.
647
00:28:11,561 --> 00:28:13,006
Now if I told you that you
had a beautiful body,
648
00:28:13,062 --> 00:28:14,336
would you hold
it against me?
649
00:28:14,397 --> 00:28:16,172
Those are the worst
pick-up lines I've ever heard
650
00:28:16,232 --> 00:28:17,540
You're bothering
my friends.
651
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:18,635
But not you?
652
00:28:18,701 --> 00:28:20,874
Me, oh no, I'm
enjoying this.
653
00:28:20,937 --> 00:28:22,109
See, I could tell from
across the room
654
00:28:22,171 --> 00:28:24,048
that you
were a woman of taste
655
00:28:24,107 --> 00:28:25,085
I'm Ralph
656
00:28:25,141 --> 00:28:26,085
You already said that
657
00:28:26,142 --> 00:28:27,120
Did I?
658
00:28:27,176 --> 00:28:28,519
Well it is so hard
to concentrate
659
00:28:28,578 --> 00:28:29,682
with the three of you
660
00:28:29,746 --> 00:28:32,249
you're like a club
sandwich from heaven
661
00:28:32,315 --> 00:28:34,420
Maybe this is the time
662
00:28:34,484 --> 00:28:37,897
Maybe I should introduce
a more personal note.
663
00:28:44,260 --> 00:28:46,331
You married, Ralph?
664
00:28:46,395 --> 00:28:48,773
Yeah,you love
your wife?
665
00:28:48,831 --> 00:28:50,606
You got kids?
666
00:28:50,666 --> 00:28:52,612
You carry their pictures
around in your wallet?
667
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,079
You Want to see 'em?
668
00:28:54,137 --> 00:28:56,913
No, what I want is for you to
apologize to my friends...
669
00:28:56,973 --> 00:28:58,111
I'm sorry.
670
00:28:58,174 --> 00:28:59,676
and never see
them again.
671
00:28:59,742 --> 00:29:02,621
I won't
672
00:29:02,678 --> 00:29:05,215
- Not even at the dub?
- Not even at the club.
673
00:29:05,281 --> 00:29:07,090
See, one loser
approaches them
674
00:29:07,150 --> 00:29:09,426
pretty soon all losers assume
they can waltz right on over
675
00:29:09,485 --> 00:29:10,759
and strike up
a conversation
676
00:29:10,820 --> 00:29:12,731
It's a slippery slope, and
they can't afford to lose
677
00:29:12,789 --> 00:29:14,359
that kind
of credibility
678
00:29:14,423 --> 00:29:16,926
So no more
Chick Planet for you
679
00:29:16,993 --> 00:29:18,097
But I'm a VIP there.
680
00:29:18,161 --> 00:29:20,004
Not anymore, stop living
in the past, Ralph.
681
00:29:20,062 --> 00:29:22,235
It's time to go.
682
00:29:22,298 --> 00:29:23,743
Okay.
683
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,677
Get up now
684
00:29:25,735 --> 00:29:26,873
Okay.
685
00:29:29,839 --> 00:29:31,341
All the way to your car, yeah
keep walking.
686
00:29:37,346 --> 00:29:40,020
You just blew my mind
687
00:29:43,052 --> 00:29:45,293
Detective!
688
00:29:45,354 --> 00:29:47,231
I love you
689
00:29:47,290 --> 00:29:50,203
I just remembered where
Teri was going tonight.
690
00:29:50,259 --> 00:29:51,636
Just came to you huh?
691
00:29:51,694 --> 00:29:54,504
Okay, I have a problem
with authority, I admit it
692
00:29:54,564 --> 00:29:55,872
Don't tell her I'm
a detective,
693
00:29:55,932 --> 00:29:56,876
just let me talk to her
694
00:29:56,933 --> 00:29:58,241
Okay.
695
00:30:04,173 --> 00:30:08,519
♪♪
696
00:30:40,543 --> 00:30:42,648
Bottoms up partner
697
00:30:42,712 --> 00:30:44,055
Can I buy you one?
698
00:31:07,737 --> 00:31:11,583
So, how
you doing, Katie?
699
00:31:11,641 --> 00:31:15,248
You getting some on
a regular basis?
700
00:31:15,311 --> 00:31:18,053
My name's Camilla
701
00:31:18,114 --> 00:31:21,561
Creature as good looking
as you,
702
00:31:21,617 --> 00:31:24,223
I sure hope you're
getting some.
703
00:31:24,287 --> 00:31:27,962
Well, thanks for
the concern.
704
00:31:28,024 --> 00:31:29,560
Wan stay
705
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,764
I'll bet you we got
something in common
706
00:31:31,827 --> 00:31:36,572
My name is Dodge, in case
you were wondering.
707
00:31:36,632 --> 00:31:40,307
I haven't gotten
some in so long
708
00:31:40,369 --> 00:31:42,212
Might tonight, though
709
00:31:46,409 --> 00:31:49,185
I don't know
710
00:31:49,245 --> 00:31:53,250
So, what,
it's your birthday?
711
00:31:53,316 --> 00:31:55,523
Coming out party
712
00:31:55,584 --> 00:31:58,155
You're gay.
713
00:31:58,220 --> 00:32:00,598
Coming out
from someplace else
714
00:32:00,656 --> 00:32:03,330
Oh you're a tough guy
715
00:32:03,392 --> 00:32:05,929
Let's not put
labels on a man
716
00:32:05,995 --> 00:32:09,238
Life is unfriendly
enough as it is.
717
00:32:09,298 --> 00:32:11,039
You Want another one?
718
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:14,570
I want you to tell
me what's bothering you
719
00:32:14,637 --> 00:32:15,877
Me?
720
00:32:15,938 --> 00:32:17,542
Nothing
721
00:32:17,606 --> 00:32:19,449
You were on
the phone earlier
722
00:32:19,508 --> 00:32:21,647
What was that
all about?
723
00:32:21,711 --> 00:32:23,884
You eavesdropping on me?
724
00:32:23,946 --> 00:32:26,119
I read lips real good
725
00:32:26,182 --> 00:32:28,287
little talent you
develop inside.
726
00:32:28,351 --> 00:32:30,024
You're bluffing
727
00:32:30,086 --> 00:32:31,360
Are we playing cards?
728
00:32:31,420 --> 00:32:35,266
Bluffing to try to get me to
reveal something about myself
729
00:32:35,324 --> 00:32:38,828
Emmit, it's me again.
730
00:32:38,894 --> 00:32:40,464
I don't
mean to be a pest
731
00:32:40,529 --> 00:32:43,271
Now first of all, a woman like
you could never be a pest.
732
00:32:43,332 --> 00:32:45,539
You don't have the tone
of voice for it.
733
00:32:45,601 --> 00:32:49,481
You know, you gotta have a
certain screechiness, you know?
734
00:32:49,538 --> 00:32:52,075
How did you hear that?
735
00:32:52,141 --> 00:32:54,621
I meant it when I said I don't
need a commitment,
736
00:32:54,677 --> 00:32:56,156
but there is a game
being played
737
00:32:56,212 --> 00:32:58,556
I don't want
to be any part of
738
00:32:58,614 --> 00:33:02,653
- Okay, okay, stop
- Who is Emmit?
739
00:33:02,718 --> 00:33:05,494
Nobody
740
00:33:05,554 --> 00:33:07,363
Some guy, my neighbor
741
00:33:07,423 --> 00:33:09,460
You're having a fling
with your neighbor?
742
00:33:09,525 --> 00:33:10,833
Is he married?
743
00:33:10,893 --> 00:33:12,702
Divorced
744
00:33:12,762 --> 00:33:14,002
I gotta get back
to work.
745
00:33:14,063 --> 00:33:15,133
What work?
746
00:33:15,197 --> 00:33:17,177
How long you
been dating this guy?
747
00:33:17,233 --> 00:33:19,645
Weeks months?
748
00:33:19,702 --> 00:33:21,773
It's been seven
eight months.
749
00:33:21,837 --> 00:33:23,544
He's not your
upstairs neighbor?
750
00:33:23,606 --> 00:33:24,778
What if he is?
751
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,820
Bedroom isn't
just above yours?
752
00:33:26,876 --> 00:33:28,116
It is.
753
00:33:28,177 --> 00:33:29,781
That's your trouble
right there.
754
00:33:29,845 --> 00:33:33,054
So, when you're not out
with him, he says he's at home
755
00:33:33,115 --> 00:33:35,857
you hear his
bed springs creaking
756
00:33:35,918 --> 00:33:39,889
He's got some other
broad up there?
757
00:33:39,955 --> 00:33:42,629
So what do I do?
758
00:33:42,691 --> 00:33:44,693
- You have to move...
( laughing )
759
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,434
and you might want to
put up a couple more of those
760
00:33:47,496 --> 00:33:50,500
my kids are about
to show up.
761
00:33:50,566 --> 00:33:52,546
How do you know?
762
00:33:52,601 --> 00:33:54,080
I can feel them
763
00:33:54,136 --> 00:33:55,547
Teri: All words
have double meanings
764
00:33:55,604 --> 00:33:59,347
even the small words all bundled
up in death and sex and--
765
00:33:59,408 --> 00:34:00,751
What is this?
766
00:34:00,810 --> 00:34:01,811
Just take
a deep breath
767
00:34:01,877 --> 00:34:02,821
You're an asshole
768
00:34:02,878 --> 00:34:04,152
Teri!
769
00:34:04,213 --> 00:34:06,489
Let her go!
770
00:34:06,549 --> 00:34:09,029
Do yourself a favor and
never have a daughter.
771
00:34:09,085 --> 00:34:11,656
Cuddliest little things
until about the age of 12
772
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:15,964
then be prepared to be
banished forever.
773
00:34:16,025 --> 00:34:17,936
I once dodged
a bullet from her
774
00:34:17,993 --> 00:34:20,337
True story, not a figure
of speech.
775
00:34:33,409 --> 00:34:35,411
(sighs )
776
00:34:35,478 --> 00:34:38,186
Sorry, Dodge,
she gets so emotional
777
00:34:38,247 --> 00:34:41,421
Let her be
778
00:34:41,484 --> 00:34:45,364
Ah, Tatiana, Annabel?
779
00:34:45,421 --> 00:34:46,991
This is my kid
780
00:34:52,795 --> 00:34:54,866
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm
781
00:34:58,501 --> 00:35:01,675
I've been dreaming
782
00:35:01,737 --> 00:35:03,910
that I can't sleep
783
00:35:03,973 --> 00:35:08,683
I wake up exhausted
every morning.
784
00:35:08,744 --> 00:35:10,587
I got this bag for you
785
00:35:17,153 --> 00:35:19,690
Yeah.
786
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:26,940
All words have double
meanings,
787
00:35:26,996 --> 00:35:30,842
even the littlest of ones
788
00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:33,005
That's why you can't
trust words, Henry.
789
00:35:55,791 --> 00:35:57,600
I got this for you, too
790
00:35:57,660 --> 00:35:59,196
It's Spanish, antique
791
00:36:15,144 --> 00:36:16,782
It's for food.
792
00:36:22,318 --> 00:36:24,798
I'm glad you're out.
793
00:36:31,660 --> 00:36:35,631
Women are the most
resilient of creatures
794
00:36:35,698 --> 00:36:39,043
You can do anything you
want to a woman,
795
00:36:39,101 --> 00:36:43,811
and maintain her respect
796
00:36:43,872 --> 00:36:48,378
You can forget a
romantic anniversary
797
00:36:48,444 --> 00:36:51,687
you can cheat on her
with her best friend.
798
00:36:51,747 --> 00:36:54,489
You can pop her in the
rear once in a while
799
00:36:54,550 --> 00:36:59,021
just to change the
pace of things.
800
00:36:59,088 --> 00:37:04,766
But you must never never
801
00:37:04,827 --> 00:37:08,365
let her
smell your poop
802
00:37:08,430 --> 00:37:11,411
This is my gift
to you, son.
803
00:37:18,841 --> 00:37:22,254
Never forget it.
804
00:37:22,311 --> 00:37:23,551
Thanks, Dad.
805
00:37:23,612 --> 00:37:24,955
Keep it tight.
806
00:37:27,116 --> 00:37:28,561
I'll cherish it.
807
00:37:28,617 --> 00:37:30,324
(sighs )
808
00:37:50,773 --> 00:37:56,052
♪♪
809
00:38:02,484 --> 00:38:04,157
You ready
for another one?
810
00:38:06,755 --> 00:38:10,794
Do you mind if I
ask you something?
811
00:38:10,859 --> 00:38:13,100
What's in the suitcase?
812
00:38:13,162 --> 00:38:14,664
Bones
813
00:38:14,730 --> 00:38:16,710
What is that, like,
slang for domino bones?
814
00:38:16,765 --> 00:38:18,244
Human
815
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:20,803
Skeleton
816
00:38:20,869 --> 00:38:24,646
So why does he like--
carries those around?
817
00:38:24,707 --> 00:38:26,744
Puts them together and
he takes them apart.
818
00:38:26,809 --> 00:38:29,813
Helps him relax
819
00:38:29,878 --> 00:38:31,755
He used to be
a science teacher
820
00:38:43,792 --> 00:38:45,430
You okay?
821
00:38:50,399 --> 00:38:53,710
Are you close
with your dad?
822
00:38:53,769 --> 00:38:55,510
He died last year
823
00:38:55,571 --> 00:38:56,982
That sucks
824
00:38:57,039 --> 00:38:58,950
Yeah
825
00:39:00,943 --> 00:39:03,514
He had Alzheimer's
826
00:39:03,579 --> 00:39:07,459
I spent all Christmas with
him watching soccer on TV
827
00:39:07,516 --> 00:39:09,189
European League
828
00:39:09,251 --> 00:39:10,992
He had no idea who
was playing.
829
00:39:11,053 --> 00:39:12,396
He'd start rooting
for a team
830
00:39:12,454 --> 00:39:14,525
and then
ask me who it was.
831
00:39:14,590 --> 00:39:16,263
I'd leave the room and
walk back in
832
00:39:16,325 --> 00:39:20,501
and he'd greet me with
this huge smile.
833
00:39:20,562 --> 00:39:22,769
Ask me all sorts
of questions.
834
00:39:22,831 --> 00:39:28,645
Soon enough he didn't know
who I was, what anything was
835
00:39:28,704 --> 00:39:34,950
Suddenly you realize
that all we are is our memory
836
00:39:35,010 --> 00:39:38,219
Life doesn't mean anything
unless you can remember it
837
00:39:41,984 --> 00:39:43,292
( phone ringing )
838
00:39:43,352 --> 00:39:46,595
Excuse me
839
00:39:46,655 --> 00:39:49,534
Hello?
840
00:39:49,591 --> 00:39:50,729
You Henry?
841
00:39:50,793 --> 00:39:52,295
Yeah
842
00:39:52,361 --> 00:39:54,307
It's your sister
843
00:39:58,367 --> 00:40:00,074
Nice going
844
00:40:00,135 --> 00:40:02,945
Because he
wanted to surprise you
845
00:40:03,005 --> 00:40:06,077
Look, Teri, I'm still trying to
figure this out myself, okay?
846
00:40:06,141 --> 00:40:07,620
How many
years ago was that?
847
00:40:07,676 --> 00:40:10,452
The man beat me, too
but I got over it.
848
00:40:10,512 --> 00:40:12,014
You stole his Cadillac
and he got mad
849
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,718
and so he shaved your
head while you were sleeping
850
00:40:13,782 --> 00:40:14,988
It wasn't the most fatherly
thing to do,
851
00:40:15,050 --> 00:40:17,860
but it happened.
852
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,957
Okay, I'll be
right over.
853
00:40:21,957 --> 00:40:23,402
Family
854
00:40:37,806 --> 00:40:39,513
What was that for?
855
00:40:39,575 --> 00:40:40,781
In case I get Alzheimer's
856
00:40:40,843 --> 00:40:43,084
and I forget that I really
wanted to do that.
857
00:40:55,958 --> 00:41:01,601
♪♪
858
00:41:10,806 --> 00:41:11,750
(June)
859
00:41:11,807 --> 00:41:13,150
- Hey, June!
- How you doing, girl?
860
00:41:13,208 --> 00:41:15,017
Oh, you know
can't complain
861
00:41:15,077 --> 00:41:16,579
How's the acid reflux?
862
00:41:16,645 --> 00:41:17,988
Way better
863
00:41:18,046 --> 00:41:19,616
I switched to white wine
like you suggested,
864
00:41:19,681 --> 00:41:22,628
and, oh, my God, huge
difference.
865
00:41:22,684 --> 00:41:23,788
Well, I told you
866
00:41:23,852 --> 00:41:26,025
Yeah, but I gotta admit
867
00:41:26,088 --> 00:41:27,795
I'm still eating
chocolate.
868
00:41:27,856 --> 00:41:29,699
Well, some things you
just can't give up.
869
00:41:29,758 --> 00:41:34,935
I know, I mean, I've cut
way down, but it's just so hard
870
00:41:34,997 --> 00:41:36,635
Y'all feeling
limber tonight?
871
00:41:36,698 --> 00:41:38,336
Ready for trouble, baby
872
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,710
Oh, well, have fun
873
00:41:43,772 --> 00:41:45,718
( doorbell buzzing )
874
00:41:47,709 --> 00:41:48,949
Hey Mr Trombone
875
00:41:49,011 --> 00:41:50,547
How you doing
sweetheart?
876
00:41:50,612 --> 00:41:51,955
Not too shabby
877
00:41:52,014 --> 00:41:53,550
Where's the missus?
878
00:41:53,615 --> 00:41:55,356
Aw, she's upset with me
879
00:41:55,417 --> 00:41:57,192
Oh, what did you
do this time?
880
00:41:57,252 --> 00:41:59,789
Don't don't-- don't
get me started.
881
00:41:59,855 --> 00:42:02,358
I took her to the race
track, Hollywood Park?
882
00:42:02,424 --> 00:42:03,596
Yeah?
883
00:42:03,659 --> 00:42:05,468
I like to humor her
with some bets
884
00:42:05,527 --> 00:42:08,098
and she always picks the
horse with the cutest name
885
00:42:08,163 --> 00:42:10,200
I mean, Fluffy Banana
886
00:42:10,265 --> 00:42:11,869
Who the hell names
their horse that, huh?
887
00:42:11,934 --> 00:42:13,709
I mean it kind of makes
you wonder, right?
888
00:42:13,769 --> 00:42:15,373
So you didn't
place the bet?
889
00:42:15,437 --> 00:42:18,748
No, I couldn't, you know, I put
the money on Silver Prelude,
890
00:42:18,807 --> 00:42:20,480
now that's one hell
of a damn horse.
891
00:42:20,542 --> 00:42:22,249
You know, you've been through
this before, Mr. Trombone.
892
00:42:22,311 --> 00:42:27,021
That son of a bitch beats
my horse out by a nose
893
00:42:27,082 --> 00:42:28,993
in a photo finish
894
00:42:29,051 --> 00:42:31,053
Muriel almost
crapped her pants
895
00:42:31,119 --> 00:42:34,066
30 to 1 odds on
Huffy Banana
896
00:42:34,122 --> 00:42:37,763
I mean, how could I put
money on a horse like that?
897
00:42:37,826 --> 00:42:41,638
Aw, I'm sorry,
Mr. Trombone
898
00:42:41,697 --> 00:42:44,439
Ah, anyway, you
know Muriel.
899
00:42:44,499 --> 00:42:45,773
I'm getting the treatment
900
00:42:45,834 --> 00:42:48,075
Yeah, she'll come around
901
00:42:48,136 --> 00:42:49,080
She always does
902
00:42:49,137 --> 00:42:50,582
At least the house
is quiet.
903
00:42:50,639 --> 00:42:51,947
I got that to look
forward to,
904
00:42:52,007 --> 00:42:54,283
and I, you know
I got my health.
905
00:42:54,343 --> 00:42:55,617
Have you lost weight?
906
00:42:55,677 --> 00:42:58,715
Yeah, maybe, I mean she hasn't
fed me since that happened.
907
00:42:58,780 --> 00:43:01,488
But, you know, I'll
probably put it back on
908
00:43:01,550 --> 00:43:02,893
Don't Worry
909
00:43:02,951 --> 00:43:04,487
Pm not
910
00:43:04,553 --> 00:43:06,055
Have fun tonight
911
00:43:06,121 --> 00:43:07,862
You too sweetheart
912
00:43:07,923 --> 00:43:11,700
( doorbell buzzing )
913
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,433
You should probably
wear this.
914
00:43:15,931 --> 00:43:18,104
Hey, guys, it's
members-only night
915
00:43:18,166 --> 00:43:19,304
Well, that's a
good thing,
916
00:43:19,368 --> 00:43:20,540
because this is a
members-only hold-up
917
00:43:20,602 --> 00:43:22,081
- Jesus Christ!
- Jesus Christ!
918
00:43:22,137 --> 00:43:25,016
Wallets, purses,
jewelry, go, go, go!
919
00:43:27,142 --> 00:43:28,212
Hey, you should probably
put that on
920
00:43:28,276 --> 00:43:29,949
or she's gonna pick you
out in a line-up.
921
00:43:30,012 --> 00:43:31,389
It takes an average
of 15 seconds
922
00:43:31,446 --> 00:43:33,722
to form a personal picture
of someone in a crisis.
923
00:43:33,782 --> 00:43:35,125
Or would you rather
I just shoot her?
924
00:43:35,183 --> 00:43:36,321
Jesus Christ, put
it on!
925
00:43:36,385 --> 00:43:37,762
No, no, no,
don't, don't, don't
926
00:43:37,819 --> 00:43:39,059
I'll put it on, you don't have
to do that-- w-w-why--
927
00:43:39,121 --> 00:43:41,158
Shut up, why don't you
just go watch the door, okay?
928
00:43:41,223 --> 00:43:42,668
Right
929
00:43:42,724 --> 00:43:46,831
Hey, fill up this bag, fill it
up, watches, watches, okay?
930
00:43:46,895 --> 00:43:47,839
Here
931
00:43:47,896 --> 00:43:49,375
No, not that one
the gold one.
932
00:43:49,431 --> 00:43:50,569
Okay.
933
00:43:50,632 --> 00:43:51,838
Okay there you go
934
00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:53,311
What the hell would I want
to do with a plastic watch?
935
00:43:53,368 --> 00:43:55,279
I don't know
936
00:43:55,337 --> 00:43:57,647
Hey,hey,
what are you doing?
937
00:43:57,706 --> 00:43:58,912
I told you to go watch
the door.
938
00:43:58,974 --> 00:44:00,385
I don't want
to have to kill this bitch
939
00:44:00,442 --> 00:44:01,614
No, no, don't-- don't
don't kill her.
940
00:44:01,677 --> 00:44:04,123
Not that door, go park your ass
in front of the curtain,
941
00:44:04,179 --> 00:44:05,385
make sure nobody
is peeking in.
942
00:44:08,617 --> 00:44:10,119
Ah,phones,too,
the phones?
943
00:44:10,185 --> 00:44:12,131
Oh here
944
00:44:12,187 --> 00:44:15,259
Great, great, you're
doing great.
945
00:44:15,323 --> 00:44:19,794
You've got
great eyes, by the way.
946
00:44:19,861 --> 00:44:22,603
Yeah, they just hit
you like, bam!
947
00:44:22,664 --> 00:44:25,406
Spring-loaded glove
to the face, ha-ha-ha!
948
00:44:25,467 --> 00:44:27,276
Pm sure you've heard
that before though
949
00:44:27,335 --> 00:44:28,643
Please don't hurt
me, okay?
950
00:44:28,704 --> 00:44:30,183
I just
work here part-time
951
00:44:30,238 --> 00:44:32,184
Well, what do you
want to be?
952
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,413
I'm studying to be a
dental hygienist.
953
00:44:34,476 --> 00:44:36,012
What are the chances
he's a dentist.
954
00:44:36,078 --> 00:44:37,318
I'm a dentist
955
00:44:37,379 --> 00:44:38,357
Hey, by the way, how are
we looking in there?
956
00:44:38,413 --> 00:44:39,517
L-- I don't know
957
00:44:39,581 --> 00:44:40,753
Why don't you
check, Einstein?
958
00:44:40,816 --> 00:44:42,159
Make sure nobody's
peeking in, okay?
959
00:44:44,052 --> 00:44:46,999
( Ping-pong game sounds )
960
00:45:04,139 --> 00:45:05,914
What?
961
00:45:13,448 --> 00:45:16,827
Can you
believe these perverts?
962
00:45:16,885 --> 00:45:18,762
Are you thinking what
I'm thinking?
963
00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:20,163
I doubt it
964
00:45:20,222 --> 00:45:21,826
Aldo always says I don't
see the big picture,
965
00:45:21,890 --> 00:45:24,131
well, now I see it
and it's panoramic
966
00:45:24,192 --> 00:45:25,432
What's panoramic?
967
00:45:25,494 --> 00:45:27,132
You know, like a wide-screen TV
with the black bars
968
00:45:27,195 --> 00:45:28,435
at the
top and the bottom
969
00:45:28,497 --> 00:45:30,033
Yeah, I know what
the word means.
970
00:45:30,098 --> 00:45:32,305
All right, then let's take
some pictures of these yahoos
971
00:45:32,367 --> 00:45:33,812
We already have their
names and addresses.
972
00:45:33,869 --> 00:45:35,815
I will bet they would pay
beaucoup bucks to make sure
973
00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:37,782
those pictures don't get to
their kids' schools,
974
00:45:37,839 --> 00:45:40,149
thew bosses and whatnot
975
00:45:40,208 --> 00:45:42,245
Why don't you
just let them be, okay?
976
00:45:42,310 --> 00:45:44,290
Because blackmail
never works.
977
00:45:44,346 --> 00:45:45,484
What do you
know about it?
978
00:45:45,547 --> 00:45:46,958
Because I tried it
once in high school
979
00:45:47,015 --> 00:45:48,688
You should
listen to her
980
00:45:48,750 --> 00:45:50,730
- Take your clothes off.
- What?
981
00:45:50,786 --> 00:45:51,730
- Get in there.
- What are you doing?
982
00:45:51,787 --> 00:45:53,289
This is a
robbery, people!
983
00:45:53,355 --> 00:45:54,595
( Nick )
What are you doing?
984
00:45:59,628 --> 00:46:01,539
All right, get in there
take 'em off.
985
00:46:01,596 --> 00:46:02,631
She just works here, why
does she have to
986
00:46:02,697 --> 00:46:03,869
take off her domes?
987
00:46:03,932 --> 00:46:05,502
Because I want to see
what she looks like.
988
00:46:05,567 --> 00:46:07,171
I am not taking off
my clothes.
989
00:46:07,235 --> 00:46:09,146
Okay, look,
listen, just--
990
00:46:09,204 --> 00:46:11,912
All right, leave her be,
I'll take my clothes off
991
00:46:11,973 --> 00:46:14,977
Why would I want you to
take off your clothes?
992
00:46:15,043 --> 00:46:16,181
True
993
00:46:16,244 --> 00:46:17,723
Well, if you're gonna pick
on somebody,
994
00:46:17,779 --> 00:46:19,122
pick on
that guy over there
995
00:46:19,181 --> 00:46:20,319
Why mm?
996
00:46:20,382 --> 00:46:21,884
He looks mean
997
00:46:21,950 --> 00:46:25,989
No,see,
I like his girlfriend
998
00:46:26,054 --> 00:46:27,397
That is not his
girlfriend.
999
00:46:27,455 --> 00:46:30,026
Hey you come here'
1000
00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:32,662
- Me?
- Yes, you
1001
00:46:36,631 --> 00:46:38,304
- Let's be gentlemen about-- - -
- Hey, shut up--
1002
00:46:38,366 --> 00:46:41,472
Yes you come here
come on sugar his
1003
00:46:41,536 --> 00:46:43,038
We don't have all day
1004
00:46:43,104 --> 00:46:44,515
Don't call her
sugar tits!
1005
00:46:48,510 --> 00:46:50,456
You think that's loaded?
1006
00:46:50,512 --> 00:46:51,718
What am I, stupid?
1007
00:46:51,780 --> 00:46:54,192
You're just saying that
1008
00:46:54,249 --> 00:46:56,388
That one's for show
this one's loaded.
1009
00:46:56,451 --> 00:46:58,795
So if I squeeze this
trigger, nothing happens?
1010
00:46:58,854 --> 00:47:00,492
Squeeze away, compadre.
1011
00:47:03,725 --> 00:47:06,069
( Clicking )
1012
00:47:06,127 --> 00:47:08,232
Damn it.
1013
00:47:10,165 --> 00:47:12,668
All right, doll face,
let's see what you got
1014
00:47:15,737 --> 00:47:17,114
Leave her alone!
1015
00:47:17,172 --> 00:47:18,583
( Screaming )
1016
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,348
Get out of here run
everybody run'
1017
00:47:24,713 --> 00:47:26,124
Oh, my God
is that you?
1018
00:47:26,181 --> 00:47:28,559
No, no, shh.
1019
00:47:28,617 --> 00:47:31,894
So you know about Otis?
1020
00:47:31,953 --> 00:47:33,523
Is that really you?
1021
00:47:33,588 --> 00:47:35,761
No no Karen no
that's not me
1022
00:47:35,824 --> 00:47:38,031
This isn't me
1023
00:47:38,093 --> 00:47:40,699
It's not what
it looks like.
1024
00:47:40,762 --> 00:47:42,332
I am so ashamed
1025
00:47:42,397 --> 00:47:44,001
No, no, don't
cry, Karen--
1026
00:47:44,065 --> 00:47:45,738
No, no, no, not here
1027
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,007
But when those guys came
into the bar,
1028
00:47:48,069 --> 00:47:50,071
before I
realized it was you.
1029
00:47:50,138 --> 00:47:51,879
A single thought
came into my head
1030
00:47:51,940 --> 00:47:53,180
First I thought terrorists
1031
00:47:53,241 --> 00:47:55,312
but then it just hit me
like a hammer,
1032
00:47:55,377 --> 00:47:57,323
and everything became clear
1033
00:47:57,379 --> 00:48:00,917
I have been so misguided
and so selfish,
1034
00:48:00,982 --> 00:48:03,861
telling myself that I need
something more from life
1035
00:48:03,919 --> 00:48:07,128
something dangerous
something exciting,
1036
00:48:07,188 --> 00:48:09,896
and you are the most
exciting thing
1037
00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:12,370
that's ever happened to me
1038
00:48:12,427 --> 00:48:13,405
Oh!
1039
00:48:13,461 --> 00:48:15,668
(screaming. gun firing)
1040
00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:22,910
♪♪
1041
00:48:26,908 --> 00:48:28,387
Okay, I'm here
you big baby.
1042
00:48:30,779 --> 00:48:31,951
You set me up?
1043
00:48:32,013 --> 00:48:33,356
I didn't know she
was gonna do that
1044
00:48:33,415 --> 00:48:35,361
Now get off him
1045
00:48:35,417 --> 00:48:36,896
- Oh, shit, she's a cop.
- Ex-cop.
1046
00:48:36,952 --> 00:48:37,896
- You ripped off a cop?
- Ex-cop.
1047
00:48:37,953 --> 00:48:39,261
I didn't know
1048
00:48:39,321 --> 00:48:40,925
How stupid
could you be?
1049
00:48:40,989 --> 00:48:42,525
Can I just say you look
really great from this angle?
1050
00:48:42,590 --> 00:48:44,126
See where your hand is
that's a felony.
1051
00:48:44,192 --> 00:48:45,637
I was right, though: real
1052
00:48:45,694 --> 00:48:46,900
This better be intact
1053
00:48:46,962 --> 00:48:48,566
I swear, I didn't
touch it.
1054
00:48:48,630 --> 00:48:49,700
The cash I did spend
1055
00:48:49,764 --> 00:48:51,903
It was an emergency,
I'm so sorry.
1056
00:48:51,967 --> 00:48:53,674
You spent
her cash on Dodge?
1057
00:48:53,735 --> 00:48:54,839
Hit him again
1058
00:48:54,903 --> 00:48:55,973
Hey, stop trying to
help me, honestly.
1059
00:48:56,037 --> 00:48:57,914
( Cell phone vibrating )
Is that me, where is it?
1060
00:48:57,973 --> 00:49:00,544
Yeah, it's right there
1061
00:49:00,608 --> 00:49:03,680
Sam, hold on one sec
1062
00:49:03,745 --> 00:49:04,883
Oh, really?
1063
00:49:04,946 --> 00:49:06,186
Sta?'
1064
00:49:08,883 --> 00:49:10,521
He fessed up to
the whole thing.
1065
00:49:10,585 --> 00:49:11,791
What to you?
1066
00:49:11,853 --> 00:49:13,696
No. he fessed up
to his wife.
1067
00:49:13,755 --> 00:49:14,859
How do you know?
1068
00:49:14,923 --> 00:49:17,369
He came clean, soup to
nuts, and she forgave him
1069
00:49:17,425 --> 00:49:18,836
She forgave him?
1070
00:49:18,893 --> 00:49:20,167
That's not all.
1071
00:49:20,228 --> 00:49:21,798
In the scuffle, a gunshot
went off,
1072
00:49:21,863 --> 00:49:23,604
and guess whose leg got hit
with the bullet?
1073
00:49:23,665 --> 00:49:24,609
The wife's lover.
1074
00:49:24,666 --> 00:49:25,644
Bingo
1075
00:49:25,700 --> 00:49:26,872
Okay, so we got him
on manslaughter.
1076
00:49:26,935 --> 00:49:28,175
No. an accident.
1077
00:49:28,236 --> 00:49:29,374
Oh. come on.
1078
00:49:29,437 --> 00:49:31,041
I have a room full of
naked witnesses
1079
00:49:31,106 --> 00:49:32,141
to corroborate rt
1080
00:49:32,207 --> 00:49:33,345
Why are they naked?
1081
00:49:33,408 --> 00:49:34,478
Wait until you get
a load of this.
1082
00:49:34,542 --> 00:49:37,648
There is a nudist
ping-pong club in Silver Lake
1083
00:49:37,712 --> 00:49:39,282
The shooting
was at the Cracker Shack?
1084
00:49:39,347 --> 00:49:40,519
You've been there?
1085
00:49:40,582 --> 00:49:42,459
No, I've just seen the
sign driving by.
1086
00:49:42,517 --> 00:49:44,224
There is no sign,
it's members-only
1087
00:49:44,285 --> 00:49:46,356
What can I tell you
I love ping-pong.
1088
00:49:53,261 --> 00:49:58,040
A Chopin martini
up, olives, not dirty, bruised
1089
00:49:58,099 --> 00:49:59,703
Two
1090
00:50:04,606 --> 00:50:06,882
I felt really bad stealing
from you,
1091
00:50:06,941 --> 00:50:09,080
but I just
want to say one thing
1092
00:50:09,144 --> 00:50:10,646
What?
1093
00:50:10,712 --> 00:50:14,023
I bet you're the kind of
woman that looks great naked
1094
00:50:14,082 --> 00:50:16,358
Unbelievable, that sounds like
the guys from my work.
1095
00:50:16,418 --> 00:50:18,056
Better than you
can ever imagine
1096
00:50:18,119 --> 00:50:19,928
I have a highly
developed imagination
1097
00:50:19,988 --> 00:50:22,696
Oh barf city, Greedo,
you're killing me.
1098
00:50:22,757 --> 00:50:25,465
I mean way beyond
1099
00:50:25,527 --> 00:50:27,234
But you'll never know
1100
00:50:27,295 --> 00:50:28,968
Oh poor baby
1101
00:50:29,030 --> 00:50:31,271
Turned down by Officer
Mucha Muchacha.
1102
00:50:31,332 --> 00:50:32,743
Shut up
1103
00:50:32,801 --> 00:50:34,712
Golly, articulate
1104
00:50:34,769 --> 00:50:35,713
Thank you
1105
00:50:35,770 --> 00:50:36,908
Shut up
1106
00:50:36,971 --> 00:50:38,382
So willing to engage
1107
00:50:42,243 --> 00:50:45,315
You do,
however, owe me big time
1108
00:50:45,380 --> 00:50:46,484
Anything, name it
1109
00:50:46,548 --> 00:50:47,754
You know a bar called
the Bigfoot Lodge?
1110
00:50:47,816 --> 00:50:48,760
- Cop bar?
- Mm-hm
1111
00:50:48,817 --> 00:50:49,887
What of it?
1112
00:50:49,951 --> 00:50:51,225
I want you to pick a
cop's wallet for me.
1113
00:50:51,286 --> 00:50:52,492
Intriguing, is this like
some kind of test,
1114
00:50:52,554 --> 00:50:53,589
pick a cop's wallet?
1115
00:50:53,655 --> 00:50:55,032
No, not just any
cop, my ex-husband
1116
00:50:55,090 --> 00:50:56,694
Wow, this idea keeps
sounding worse.
1117
00:50:56,758 --> 00:50:58,032
Why, he won't pay
alimony?
1118
00:50:58,093 --> 00:50:59,367
Well, he has a picture he
won't give back
1119
00:50:59,427 --> 00:51:00,701
and he keeps
showing all his friends
1120
00:51:00,762 --> 00:51:02,241
It's really starting
to piss me off.
1121
00:51:02,297 --> 00:51:03,605
Are you naked in it?
1122
00:51:03,665 --> 00:51:05,110
What's with
the one-track mind?
1123
00:51:05,166 --> 00:51:07,373
Maybe
1124
00:51:07,435 --> 00:51:09,779
If I steal it,
am I allowed to see it?
1125
00:51:09,838 --> 00:51:12,148
You're not exactly in a
position to negotiate here
1126
00:51:12,207 --> 00:51:13,743
Hope strings eternal
1127
00:51:13,808 --> 00:51:15,788
Okay, who
writes your dialogue?
1128
00:51:15,844 --> 00:51:17,187
Okay, you steal it first
1129
00:51:17,245 --> 00:51:19,156
you get it back to me without
him noticing,
1130
00:51:19,214 --> 00:51:20,818
then we will discuss
further terms.
1131
00:51:20,882 --> 00:51:25,058
But first We gotta
make a stop
1132
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,497
- Yes.
- Thank you.
1133
00:51:26,554 --> 00:51:28,192
Yes
1134
00:51:31,526 --> 00:51:33,227
♪♪
1135
00:51:33,228 --> 00:51:36,801
♪♪
1136
00:51:40,902 --> 00:51:43,906
Yeah, I think you can give her a
little more considering.
1137
00:51:43,972 --> 00:51:45,952
Sorry for
the inconvenience
1138
00:51:46,007 --> 00:51:47,452
So where's this Bigfoot?
1139
00:51:47,509 --> 00:51:49,386
It doesn't get going
for another hour.
1140
00:51:49,444 --> 00:51:52,015
What do undercover
detectives do for fun?
1141
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:53,252
Teach me to shoot
some pool.
1142
00:51:53,314 --> 00:51:54,486
Him?
1143
00:51:54,549 --> 00:51:55,823
I taught him
everything he knows
1144
00:51:55,884 --> 00:51:57,795
She's right, you guys
start without me.
1145
00:51:57,852 --> 00:51:59,525
First round
of beer is on me
1146
00:51:59,587 --> 00:52:00,622
Is he gonna make
a run for it?
1147
00:52:00,688 --> 00:52:02,497
Nah, he's totally dishonest
1148
00:52:02,557 --> 00:52:03,797
until he
gives you his word
1149
00:52:03,858 --> 00:52:06,668
then he's the most loyal
puppy dog in the world.
1150
00:52:06,728 --> 00:52:07,832
Thanks
1151
00:52:10,932 --> 00:52:12,172
What's a smart girl like
you doing
1152
00:52:12,233 --> 00:52:15,373
taking off her
clothes for pocket change?
1153
00:52:15,436 --> 00:52:16,540
What's a smart girl like
you doing
1154
00:52:16,604 --> 00:52:18,948
playing cops and robbers?
1155
00:52:19,007 --> 00:52:20,987
I need the medical
1156
00:52:21,109 --> 00:52:23,180
Profound me too
1157
00:52:23,244 --> 00:52:24,518
Go for the three
1158
00:52:28,049 --> 00:52:30,290
Is he really a good
photographer?
1159
00:52:30,351 --> 00:52:32,854
His portraits
are surprisingly good
1160
00:52:32,921 --> 00:52:34,525
It's impossible for people
to not let their guard down
1161
00:52:34,589 --> 00:52:36,466
around him, it's weird
1162
00:52:36,524 --> 00:52:39,664
So if he asks to take
your picture, beware.
1163
00:52:39,727 --> 00:52:40,797
Don't do it?
1164
00:52:40,862 --> 00:52:42,739
No, do it...
1165
00:52:42,797 --> 00:52:44,333
but you've been warned
1166
00:52:51,472 --> 00:52:52,849
If you're thinking about
the nine, forget about it
1167
00:52:52,907 --> 00:52:55,945
go for the ten
1168
00:52:56,010 --> 00:52:57,683
You're not going for
the ten, are you?
1169
00:52:57,745 --> 00:52:58,849
Leave her alone
1170
00:52:58,913 --> 00:53:00,187
The nine is all
set up.
1171
00:53:00,248 --> 00:53:01,886
Who is teaching me here
you or your sister?
1172
00:53:01,950 --> 00:53:03,588
I thought you asked me
1173
00:53:03,651 --> 00:53:06,029
Come on, pilgrim, go
get us another round
1174
00:53:06,087 --> 00:53:07,794
(no sound)
1175
00:53:11,893 --> 00:53:13,531
Who's the shark here?
1176
00:53:13,595 --> 00:53:15,336
Beginner's luck
1177
00:53:15,396 --> 00:53:17,933
You're full of
shit, Detective
1178
00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:23,950
♪♪
1179
00:53:28,276 --> 00:53:30,381
- Doing the sweet slide
- Thin Cap.
1180
00:53:30,445 --> 00:53:31,549
- Erin Yorkid.
- Thin Kitty.
1181
00:53:31,613 --> 00:53:32,557
Getting the little man in
the boat to go fishing.
1182
00:53:32,614 --> 00:53:34,616
- You made that up.
- Sounds legit to me
1183
00:53:34,682 --> 00:53:35,660
Oh God'
1184
00:53:40,255 --> 00:53:41,632
Okay, checking
for depth.
1185
00:53:41,689 --> 00:53:43,100
Cleaning my fur coat
1186
00:53:43,157 --> 00:53:44,363
Petting the petunia
1187
00:53:44,425 --> 00:53:45,495
Baby in the kitty
1188
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:46,834
I already said it
1189
00:53:50,031 --> 00:53:52,170
Okay, automatic pilot
1190
00:53:52,233 --> 00:53:53,610
Uh, finding yourself
1191
00:53:53,668 --> 00:53:55,079
Digging for gold.
1192
00:53:55,136 --> 00:53:56,410
Gilding a lily
1193
00:53:56,471 --> 00:53:57,711
Letting your fingers
do the walking.
1194
00:53:57,772 --> 00:53:59,080
Coming into your own
1195
00:53:59,140 --> 00:54:00,278
Tickling my fancy
1196
00:54:00,341 --> 00:54:02,048
Uh, uh, spelunking in
the mystery cave.
1197
00:54:02,110 --> 00:54:03,783
- Time!
- What?
1198
00:54:03,845 --> 00:54:04,983
Spelunking in the
mystery cave.
1199
00:54:05,046 --> 00:54:06,047
- Spelunking?
- It's a word.
1200
00:54:06,114 --> 00:54:07,354
That's not a Word
1201
00:54:07,415 --> 00:54:08,792
It's a word,
it means exploring
1202
00:54:14,489 --> 00:54:16,400
Okay, triple or nothing
1203
00:54:16,457 --> 00:54:18,061
No, I say we pick
this up later.
1204
00:54:18,126 --> 00:54:19,662
Let's go steal a wallet
1205
00:54:19,727 --> 00:54:21,229
Let's go steal a wallet
1206
00:54:21,296 --> 00:54:22,707
Let's go steal a wallet
1207
00:54:22,764 --> 00:54:24,038
That's mine
1208
00:54:24,098 --> 00:54:25,668
Thank you
1209
00:54:29,971 --> 00:54:34,716
♪♪
1210
00:54:43,384 --> 00:54:46,627
So we should just sit down
and,uh....
1211
00:54:46,688 --> 00:54:48,690
can I get you a drink?
1212
00:54:48,756 --> 00:54:51,066
Anything, as long as it's
whiskey.
1213
00:54:51,125 --> 00:54:53,230
Two Macallans, rocks.
1214
00:54:53,294 --> 00:54:56,400
I just had a near-death
experience, officer.
1215
00:54:56,464 --> 00:54:57,772
Yes, you did
1216
00:54:57,832 --> 00:54:59,402
Uh, Detective
1217
00:54:59,467 --> 00:55:00,707
It's the kind of thing
you imagine happens
1218
00:55:00,768 --> 00:55:03,078
to somebody else
never you.
1219
00:55:03,137 --> 00:55:04,548
It can be very traumatic
1220
00:55:04,605 --> 00:55:07,552
I read somewhere that when
something horrible happens,
1221
00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:09,417
you know,
like a senseless tragedy
1222
00:55:09,477 --> 00:55:12,083
or a terrorist attack or
you know,
1223
00:55:12,146 --> 00:55:14,023
an incident
where you suddenly realize
1224
00:55:14,082 --> 00:55:18,087
that you could die that
very instant,
1225
00:55:18,152 --> 00:55:22,862
that all you want to do
suddenly is eat and drink
1226
00:55:22,924 --> 00:55:26,872
and smoke
and have sex
1227
00:55:26,928 --> 00:55:28,100
Is that how you feel?
1228
00:55:28,162 --> 00:55:29,470
No.
1229
00:55:29,530 --> 00:55:30,668
Well, it could take a
little while to kick in
1230
00:55:30,732 --> 00:55:32,075
you're still in shock
1231
00:55:32,133 --> 00:55:33,339
You know, that's what they mean
when they say
1232
00:55:33,401 --> 00:55:35,881
life is cheap in all those
third-world countries.
1233
00:55:35,937 --> 00:55:38,110
But they just keep
on drinking and screwing
1234
00:55:38,172 --> 00:55:39,651
Even in India where they
just did this study
1235
00:55:39,707 --> 00:55:43,519
that the average penis is
shorter than in other places
1236
00:55:43,578 --> 00:55:44,784
Did you read that?
1237
00:55:44,846 --> 00:55:46,018
I can't say that I have
1238
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:48,458
Okay, the BBC reported
that condoms made according
1239
00:55:48,516 --> 00:55:50,962
to international sizes
are just too large
1240
00:55:51,018 --> 00:55:52,759
for most Indian men
1241
00:56:03,464 --> 00:56:04,602
She'll have another one
1242
00:56:04,665 --> 00:56:07,771
Actually make it two
1243
00:56:07,835 --> 00:56:10,907
So, you had some more
questions for me?
1244
00:56:10,972 --> 00:56:12,815
Yes, basic stuff
1245
00:56:12,874 --> 00:56:15,616
I just don't want to miss
anything on my report.
1246
00:56:15,676 --> 00:56:17,587
It's so lucky you were
right outside
1247
00:56:17,645 --> 00:56:19,352
when that gun Went off
1248
00:56:19,414 --> 00:56:21,860
Not just luck,
I was there on a case, June.
1249
00:56:21,916 --> 00:56:23,452
I was following one
of the perps.
1250
00:56:23,518 --> 00:56:24,519
Do you mind if
I call you June?
1251
00:56:24,585 --> 00:56:26,861
What I don't understand is
why he wanted me
1252
00:56:26,921 --> 00:56:28,594
to take off my clothes
1253
00:56:28,656 --> 00:56:30,431
I mean, you're right
in the middle of a robbery
1254
00:56:30,491 --> 00:56:33,938
adrenaline pumping
violence, greed.
1255
00:56:33,995 --> 00:56:38,307
Do you really have time to stop
and admire a girl's cha-cha?
1256
00:56:38,366 --> 00:56:41,677
These guys they're
psychopaths
1257
00:56:41,736 --> 00:56:42,942
Yeah
1258
00:56:43,004 --> 00:56:44,381
They get off
on fear and entry
1259
00:56:44,439 --> 00:56:45,975
What I don't understand is
the coincidence
1260
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,316
of Nick's ex being there
1261
00:56:48,376 --> 00:56:51,220
Uh, who are you
talking about, Silas?
1262
00:56:51,279 --> 00:56:52,815
Salazar
1263
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:53,881
Never heard of him
1264
00:56:53,948 --> 00:56:55,791
No, I'm Salazar
Samuel Salazar
1265
00:56:55,850 --> 00:56:57,329
The perp's name is Billy
1266
00:56:57,385 --> 00:56:59,490
Karen is
the other perp's wife, Nick
1267
00:56:59,554 --> 00:57:01,966
Oh yeah Karen
1268
00:57:02,023 --> 00:57:03,331
She's his ex?
1269
00:57:03,391 --> 00:57:04,597
They're still married
1270
00:57:04,659 --> 00:57:05,729
Have you seen them
there before?
1271
00:57:05,793 --> 00:57:06,794
Never
1272
00:57:06,861 --> 00:57:08,841
Otis seems to have a lot
of luck bringing women
1273
00:57:08,896 --> 00:57:11,706
there on thew
first date
1274
00:57:11,766 --> 00:57:13,712
It takes a certain kind
of, I don't know,
1275
00:57:13,768 --> 00:57:16,612
je ne sais quoi to bring
a first date
1276
00:57:16,671 --> 00:57:19,049
to a nudist ping-pong bar
1277
00:57:19,106 --> 00:57:20,312
Would you?
1278
00:57:20,374 --> 00:57:21,944
I'm not
much of a player.
1279
00:57:22,009 --> 00:57:24,615
Unless he couldn't
help himself.
1280
00:57:24,679 --> 00:57:25,885
Otis?
1281
00:57:25,947 --> 00:57:27,085
Billy, the perp.
1282
00:57:27,148 --> 00:57:28,991
Maybe he just couldn't
help himself
1283
00:57:29,050 --> 00:57:30,961
and that's why he was
willing to throw away
1284
00:57:31,018 --> 00:57:32,964
all that careful planning
1285
00:57:33,020 --> 00:57:36,263
just to get a peek at me
in my birthday suit.
1286
00:57:36,324 --> 00:57:40,170
It's kind of like a
Greek myth, you know?
1287
00:57:40,228 --> 00:57:42,435
I think you're
romanticizing it a little,
1288
00:57:42,497 --> 00:57:45,000
which is perfectly
natural.
1289
00:57:45,066 --> 00:57:47,672
I don't think that he
planned it all that thoroughly
1290
00:57:47,735 --> 00:57:49,681
I hear the words
coming out of my mouth
1291
00:57:49,737 --> 00:57:51,148
and I want to cry
1292
00:57:51,205 --> 00:57:53,276
but I can't
remember the last time I cried
1293
00:57:53,341 --> 00:57:55,412
I make eye contact and not when
I'm supposed to,
1294
00:57:55,476 --> 00:57:57,080
spewing platitudes
plausible enough
1295
00:57:57,144 --> 00:57:58,714
mmm
WW
1296
00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:00,588
but what I really want
to say to her is--
1297
00:58:00,648 --> 00:58:02,992
Did I mention you set my
heart a-flutter
1298
00:58:03,050 --> 00:58:05,929
and make me
feel all funny inside?
1299
00:58:05,987 --> 00:58:07,466
Heaven forbid I go
through with it.
1300
00:58:07,522 --> 00:58:09,798
I'm the kind of guy who
always bets on the wrong horse
1301
00:58:09,857 --> 00:58:12,861
Me, Samuel Salazar, at your
service.
1302
00:58:12,927 --> 00:58:15,271
They say women forget
the physical pain of childbirth
1303
00:58:15,329 --> 00:58:17,036
right after the
baby is born.
1304
00:58:17,098 --> 00:58:18,634
That's how come they can
start all over again,
1305
00:58:18,699 --> 00:58:20,076
have another child
1306
00:58:20,134 --> 00:58:21,579
I guess I'm not like a
woman at all,
1307
00:58:21,636 --> 00:58:23,377
because I have a crystal
clear memory
1308
00:58:23,437 --> 00:58:25,508
of every heartbreak I've
suffered since the age of nine
1309
00:58:25,573 --> 00:58:27,484
I was only
conversational then
1310
00:58:27,542 --> 00:58:30,489
Still, I can't help but
wonder if this could be
1311
00:58:30,545 --> 00:58:32,456
a true happy ending
1312
00:58:32,513 --> 00:58:36,017
or one more false hope
1313
00:58:36,083 --> 00:58:37,494
It's like a
traffic accident
1314
00:58:37,552 --> 00:58:39,293
I know I shouldn't look, but
I can't turn away,
1315
00:58:39,353 --> 00:58:41,594
because in my heart of
hearts, wherever that is
1316
00:58:41,656 --> 00:58:45,194
I know the answer
does not lie within words
1317
00:58:45,259 --> 00:58:46,863
but within her eyes
1318
00:58:46,928 --> 00:58:49,101
The world is made up
of a billion little mysteries
1319
00:58:49,163 --> 00:58:50,870
but it's not words that
explain them.
1320
00:58:50,932 --> 00:58:52,411
Of this, I'm sure
1321
00:58:52,466 --> 00:58:53,672
Do you think I could
have developed
1322
00:58:53,734 --> 00:58:54,940
Stockholm Syndrome
that quickly?
1323
00:58:55,002 --> 00:58:56,913
No.
1324
00:58:56,971 --> 00:58:59,417
I've always wanted
to go to Stockholm
1325
00:58:59,473 --> 00:59:01,885
I've never been anywhere
1326
00:59:01,943 --> 00:59:03,650
Have you traveled
a lot?
1327
00:59:03,711 --> 00:59:06,692
A little, mostly in
the United States
1328
00:59:06,747 --> 00:59:08,488
I want to go to Europe
1329
00:59:08,549 --> 00:59:11,428
and Egypt and those
raves in Greece
1330
00:59:11,485 --> 00:59:14,625
where the music is really
bad and everyone is on ecstasy
1331
00:59:14,689 --> 00:59:18,535
and they're all so super
tanned that it doesn't matter
1332
00:59:18,593 --> 00:59:20,402
Have you been?
1333
00:59:20,461 --> 00:59:21,872
No.
1334
00:59:21,929 --> 00:59:23,374
My friend went once
and she said
1335
00:59:23,431 --> 00:59:25,206
that nobody spoke the same
language,
1336
00:59:25,266 --> 00:59:26,643
but no one had anything
to say anyways,
1337
00:59:26,701 --> 00:59:29,739
so the DJ played the music so
loud that even your eyes hurt.
1338
00:59:35,109 --> 00:59:38,750
Thank you for saving
my life, Samuel.
1339
00:59:38,813 --> 00:59:39,883
I wouldn't
go that far
1340
00:59:44,485 --> 00:59:47,056
Is it true that Mexican
men love cunnilingus?
1341
00:59:49,357 --> 00:59:50,563
Um
1342
00:59:50,625 --> 00:59:52,764
Oh, I'm sorry, that came
off really forward.
1343
00:59:52,827 --> 00:59:54,932
I just suddenly feel like
I have this
1344
00:59:54,996 --> 00:59:56,566
new lease
on things, you know?
1345
00:59:56,631 --> 00:59:59,373
And there's just no time for
pleasantries and being polite
1346
00:59:59,433 --> 01:00:00,935
I mean, there's barely
enough time to go out there
1347
01:00:01,002 --> 01:00:02,379
and get What
you Want
1348
01:00:02,436 --> 01:00:03,676
My grandfather was
Mexican,
1349
01:00:03,738 --> 01:00:05,240
I was born here
1350
01:00:05,306 --> 01:00:08,583
Oh, I guess it'd be an
awkward question to ask him
1351
01:00:08,643 --> 01:00:12,386
Yeah he's-- he passed
away anyway
1352
01:00:12,446 --> 01:00:15,052
Took the secret
with him.
1353
01:00:15,116 --> 01:00:16,527
Do you Want to dance?
1354
01:00:18,519 --> 01:00:20,795
Not just yet
1355
01:00:22,523 --> 01:00:23,831
I'll be right back
1356
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,398
Mmmm!
1357
01:00:34,802 --> 01:00:36,145
Ready for another one?
1358
01:00:36,203 --> 01:00:37,273
Probably
1359
01:00:38,506 --> 01:00:41,180
So how's it
going, officer?
1360
01:00:41,242 --> 01:00:42,949
Detective
1361
01:00:43,010 --> 01:00:44,785
Not going so
well, actually
1362
01:00:44,845 --> 01:00:46,347
You seem a little uptight
1363
01:00:46,414 --> 01:00:47,859
if you don't
mind me saying so
1364
01:00:47,915 --> 01:00:50,293
Actually, I do mind, I'm trying
to figure some stuff out.
1365
01:00:50,351 --> 01:00:53,389
- What stuff?
- Personal stuff
1366
01:00:53,454 --> 01:00:57,834
about courage
1367
01:00:57,892 --> 01:01:00,099
and what makes us special
1368
01:01:00,161 --> 01:01:01,572
Oh.
1369
01:01:01,629 --> 01:01:03,768
I thought it was
about the girl.
1370
01:01:03,831 --> 01:01:05,174
Her too
1371
01:01:05,232 --> 01:01:06,438
What's wrong with her?
1372
01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:08,207
She's sending me
mixed signals.
1373
01:01:08,269 --> 01:01:10,647
Hey, Officer Salazar?
1374
01:01:10,705 --> 01:01:12,275
Detective
1375
01:01:12,339 --> 01:01:15,081
I'm not
wearing any underwear.
1376
01:01:20,114 --> 01:01:22,720
I wouldn't read between
the lines so much.
1377
01:01:34,528 --> 01:01:38,169
You are unique.
1378
01:01:38,232 --> 01:01:40,303
There are, I'm sure
uncommon things
1379
01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:43,314
that you
are particularly good at
1380
01:01:43,370 --> 01:01:45,907
Play to your strong
suits, shine.
1381
01:01:45,973 --> 01:01:47,611
Don't concentrate
on things
1382
01:01:47,675 --> 01:01:50,747
that other people have
told you you're no good at
1383
01:01:50,811 --> 01:01:53,587
Relish the talents
you have.
1384
01:01:53,647 --> 01:01:56,560
And always
1385
01:01:56,617 --> 01:01:59,689
always surround yourself
with people who appreciate you
1386
01:02:03,691 --> 01:02:05,295
Sam?
1387
01:02:07,461 --> 01:02:12,171
♪♪
1388
01:02:23,144 --> 01:02:25,454
♪♪
1389
01:02:25,513 --> 01:02:30,087
(whirring)
1390
01:02:38,325 --> 01:02:42,933
But if I'm gonna be
completely honest with you
1391
01:02:42,997 --> 01:02:45,603
I haven't had a real piece
of ass since El Paso.
1392
01:02:45,666 --> 01:02:48,169
That was one hot, little
lady you had there.
1393
01:02:48,235 --> 01:02:49,942
Jewel
1394
01:02:50,004 --> 01:02:51,745
I suppose you banged her
too, after I left.
1395
01:02:51,806 --> 01:02:54,252
Well, I was with my wife
at the time, remember?
1396
01:02:54,308 --> 01:02:56,788
She gets manicures, doesn't she,
she goes shopping?
1397
01:02:56,844 --> 01:02:58,517
All wives do
1398
01:02:58,579 --> 01:03:00,081
Just saying, where there's
a will there's a way.
1399
01:03:00,147 --> 01:03:01,558
Point is I didn't
do anything.
1400
01:03:01,615 --> 01:03:04,289
Yeah, you wanted
to, I can tell.
1401
01:03:04,351 --> 01:03:05,921
Empty again
1402
01:03:05,986 --> 01:03:06,964
You ready for another?
1403
01:03:07,021 --> 01:03:08,432
No, still working
on this.
1404
01:03:10,424 --> 01:03:11,835
Mikey did, though
1405
01:03:11,892 --> 01:03:13,997
Chafes me to this day
you know why?
1406
01:03:14,061 --> 01:03:15,870
Because if I hadn't
told him she was hooking
1407
01:03:15,930 --> 01:03:18,740
he never would have had the
balls to ask her up to his room
1408
01:03:18,799 --> 01:03:21,439
Guy is a complete pussy when it
comes to talking to women,
1409
01:03:21,502 --> 01:03:24,176
especially women with
cans like those.
1410
01:03:24,238 --> 01:03:25,478
I don't know what
you're talking about
1411
01:03:25,539 --> 01:03:27,382
You never noticed how
intimidated he gets around women
1412
01:03:27,441 --> 01:03:28,613
who got a great rack?
1413
01:03:28,676 --> 01:03:30,246
Never noticed
1414
01:03:30,311 --> 01:03:34,589
He-he-he can't talk, he
st-st-st-stutters.
1415
01:03:34,648 --> 01:03:35,956
It must be something
in his past.
1416
01:03:36,016 --> 01:03:37,723
Mother, I don't know
1417
01:03:39,887 --> 01:03:42,333
You remember how he could
never talk to your ex?
1418
01:03:42,389 --> 01:03:43,766
No disrespect
1419
01:03:43,824 --> 01:03:46,065
None taken
1420
01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:50,006
Guy can't see past a
decent-sized double barrel
1421
01:03:50,064 --> 01:03:51,475
Great looking girl, though
1422
01:03:51,532 --> 01:03:53,534
We're talking about
Francine now?
1423
01:03:53,601 --> 01:03:56,377
No, I mean, her, too, but,
no, Jewel.
1424
01:03:56,437 --> 01:03:58,212
What was her real name?
1425
01:03:58,272 --> 01:04:00,013
Nice Jewish name
1426
01:04:00,074 --> 01:04:02,054
Oh, man, let me tell you, that
is a lethal combination.
1427
01:04:02,109 --> 01:04:04,589
Nice Jewish girl drops
out of school, starts hooking
1428
01:04:04,645 --> 01:04:06,283
Unstoppable
1429
01:04:06,347 --> 01:04:08,384
Night you saw her,
what was she wearing?
1430
01:04:08,449 --> 01:04:12,192
To be honest, I don't
remember what she had on
1431
01:04:12,253 --> 01:04:13,789
More the shape underneath
1432
01:04:13,854 --> 01:04:16,357
didn't leave so much to
the imagination.
1433
01:04:16,423 --> 01:04:19,870
She had me up like a
rock for five days.
1434
01:04:19,927 --> 01:04:22,134
Blue steel, I don't
mind telling you.
1435
01:04:22,196 --> 01:04:23,903
That's a lot of information
1436
01:04:23,964 --> 01:04:25,500
Yeah, I'm
not kidding you, man.
1437
01:04:25,566 --> 01:04:26,977
We've known each other
ten years?
1438
01:04:27,034 --> 01:04:28,945
Six
1439
01:04:29,003 --> 01:04:30,448
- A long time
- Long time.
1440
01:04:30,504 --> 01:04:32,211
- Long time
- Long time.
1441
01:04:32,273 --> 01:04:33,809
At least among the
guys on the force,
1442
01:04:33,874 --> 01:04:35,581
I consider you a fairly
knowledgeable
1443
01:04:35,643 --> 01:04:37,316
connoisseur of ass
1444
01:04:37,378 --> 01:04:38,789
I don't know where you're
going with this.
1445
01:04:38,846 --> 01:04:42,851
Look, after the divorce
1446
01:04:42,917 --> 01:04:45,261
you've had your fair
share of tail.
1447
01:04:45,319 --> 01:04:47,663
You know, I'm just going
by the red head with the boots
1448
01:04:47,721 --> 01:04:50,031
and the cousins down
Cucharacha Way?
1449
01:04:50,090 --> 01:04:52,536
Who was that chick you
were with the other night?
1450
01:04:52,593 --> 01:04:54,834
Camilla, she's my neighbor
1451
01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:56,602
What did you do, ring
her doorbell,
1452
01:04:56,664 --> 01:04:57,904
ask her for sugar
or something?
1453
01:04:57,965 --> 01:04:59,103
She's a good gm
1454
01:04:59,166 --> 01:05:00,372
She's got some issues
1455
01:05:00,434 --> 01:05:02,141
I'm just trying to loosen
her up a little.
1456
01:05:02,202 --> 01:05:04,705
Point is, you like it
1457
01:05:04,772 --> 01:05:05,807
What?
1458
01:05:05,873 --> 01:05:06,977
Ass!
1459
01:05:07,041 --> 01:05:10,511
You mean the actual
buttocks or the general region?
1460
01:05:10,577 --> 01:05:11,715
What?
1461
01:05:11,779 --> 01:05:14,487
The royal ass, women
dames, skirts.
1462
01:05:14,548 --> 01:05:15,993
Sure, I like them
1463
01:05:16,050 --> 01:05:17,586
Yeah, well, see, these
guys today,
1464
01:05:17,651 --> 01:05:18,959
young guys on the force
1465
01:05:19,019 --> 01:05:20,896
they don't seem to
think about it all that much
1466
01:05:20,955 --> 01:05:22,957
Maybe it's a
generational shift
1467
01:05:25,259 --> 01:05:28,069
Porn on the Internet
I don't know.
1468
01:05:28,128 --> 01:05:29,698
You know, maybe I didn't
think about it as much
1469
01:05:29,763 --> 01:05:31,367
when I was younger
1470
01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:33,605
One day it just
hit me: wham!
1471
01:05:33,667 --> 01:05:36,944
Full-blown epiphany
1472
01:05:37,004 --> 01:05:39,211
Went from being a hobby to
a full-time occupation.
1473
01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:40,479
Chasing skirts
1474
01:05:40,541 --> 01:05:43,215
Yeah, I don't know
when it happened.
1475
01:05:43,277 --> 01:05:46,087
I don't know why
it happened.
1476
01:05:46,146 --> 01:05:49,286
At first, it was because
things were terrible
1477
01:05:49,350 --> 01:05:51,296
with me and Eileen
1478
01:05:51,352 --> 01:05:54,993
Terrible
1479
01:05:55,055 --> 01:05:58,434
and then it
was because she found out
1480
01:05:58,492 --> 01:06:00,995
things between us
got worse.
1481
01:06:01,061 --> 01:06:05,305
If you want ass, there is
no ass in the whole wide world
1482
01:06:05,366 --> 01:06:10,509
like Jewel Kazinsky
El Paso.
1483
01:06:10,571 --> 01:06:12,812
I'll keep that in mind
1484
01:06:12,873 --> 01:06:15,615
I gotta go
1485
01:06:15,676 --> 01:06:16,848
Ooh!
1486
01:06:16,910 --> 01:06:19,254
- You gonna be all right?
- Sure.
1487
01:06:19,313 --> 01:06:21,293
We should call you
a cab, Captain.
1488
01:06:24,985 --> 01:06:27,522
Speak of the dew
1489
01:06:27,588 --> 01:06:29,261
That your ex-wife?
1490
01:06:32,326 --> 01:06:34,533
Yes, it is
1491
01:06:34,595 --> 01:06:36,165
You still got that photo?
1492
01:06:36,230 --> 01:06:38,141
The photograph you
showed me?
1493
01:06:38,198 --> 01:06:39,404
Yes, sir
1494
01:06:39,466 --> 01:06:40,968
- You got it?
- Excuse me.
1495
01:06:45,239 --> 01:06:46,479
What are you doing here?
1496
01:06:46,540 --> 01:06:47,678
I was thirsty
1497
01:06:47,741 --> 01:06:49,778
A thousand bars in this
county, you gotta come here
1498
01:06:49,843 --> 01:06:51,481
Yeah, I like the way
they mix their drinks
1499
01:06:51,545 --> 01:06:52,956
You're something else
1500
01:06:53,013 --> 01:06:54,253
Bar is big enough
for both of us,
1501
01:06:54,314 --> 01:06:55,258
so why don't you go back
to your corner
1502
01:06:55,315 --> 01:06:56,350
and I'll
be right over here.
1503
01:06:56,417 --> 01:06:57,452
You checking up on me?
1504
01:06:57,518 --> 01:06:58,724
What is there
to check up on?
1505
01:06:58,786 --> 01:06:59,890
What is it, you like
the aggravation?
1506
01:06:59,953 --> 01:07:01,330
Why are you so
aggravated, Emmit?
1507
01:07:01,388 --> 01:07:02,458
What is it you're
not telling me?
1508
01:07:02,523 --> 01:07:04,002
I'm not telling you
anything, don't have to anymore
1509
01:07:04,058 --> 01:07:06,470
I know you, you're here,
it's because you want something
1510
01:07:06,527 --> 01:07:08,507
Well, rest assured
it isn't you.
1511
01:07:14,068 --> 01:07:15,274
Hi.
1512
01:07:15,335 --> 01:07:18,578
Emmit
1513
01:07:18,639 --> 01:07:22,314
Yeah, I'm not really
a prick, I--
1514
01:07:22,376 --> 01:07:26,085
We just have a really bad
history of horrible chemistry
1515
01:07:26,146 --> 01:07:27,090
What's your name?
1516
01:07:27,147 --> 01:07:28,091
Teresa.
1517
01:07:28,148 --> 01:07:29,422
- You?
- Henry
1518
01:07:29,483 --> 01:07:31,053
Hi, could
you do me a favor?
1519
01:07:31,118 --> 01:07:32,597
Could you convince her to
go somewhere else?
1520
01:07:32,653 --> 01:07:35,634
We're not so good when
we're around each other
1521
01:07:35,689 --> 01:07:38,795
Okay, if I back you up,
what do I get for my trouble?
1522
01:07:38,859 --> 01:07:39,894
What do you want?
1523
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,497
We're hoping to score
some back rubs.
1524
01:07:42,563 --> 01:07:44,304
Funny, keep it
up, Junior.
1525
01:07:47,935 --> 01:07:49,243
Now what?
1526
01:07:49,303 --> 01:07:50,680
Now I got him
1527
01:07:50,737 --> 01:07:51,943
You don't have anything
1528
01:07:52,005 --> 01:07:55,009
He's on high alert, he
hates your guts and he's a cop
1529
01:07:55,075 --> 01:07:57,487
Watch and learn
1530
01:07:57,544 --> 01:07:59,217
Get us a dark booth
1531
01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:02,587
Hey, man, where do you get off
calling me junior, huh?
1532
01:08:02,649 --> 01:08:03,821
Get your hands off me
1533
01:08:03,884 --> 01:08:05,022
How would you like it if I
called you senior
1534
01:08:05,085 --> 01:08:06,029
in front of
your lady friends?
1535
01:08:06,086 --> 01:08:07,156
Let go of my arm
1536
01:08:07,221 --> 01:08:08,825
Why are you so
jumpy man?
1537
01:08:08,889 --> 01:08:11,665
What part of this are you
not understanding, punk?
1538
01:08:11,725 --> 01:08:13,932
You come into this bar
again, I will kick your ass
1539
01:08:23,704 --> 01:08:25,377
How'd it go?
1540
01:08:28,509 --> 01:08:30,887
We're even.
1541
01:08:30,944 --> 01:08:32,617
Not until
you put this back
1542
01:08:32,679 --> 01:08:35,683
I said pick his wallet
not steal it.
1543
01:08:35,749 --> 01:08:37,490
Such a sweet sweet man
1544
01:08:37,551 --> 01:08:39,224
Why would you
ever divorce him?
1545
01:08:40,787 --> 01:08:42,232
H's not here
1546
01:08:45,125 --> 01:08:47,162
This a bad time?
1547
01:08:47,227 --> 01:08:48,399
I was out of line
1548
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:49,463
It's no big deal
1549
01:08:49,530 --> 01:08:50,941
It's a pretty big
deal, let me finish
1550
01:08:50,998 --> 01:08:52,534
As Francine may
or may not have told you
1551
01:08:52,599 --> 01:08:54,943
I've been battling anger
management issues
1552
01:08:55,002 --> 01:08:57,004
for quite
a chunk of time
1553
01:08:57,070 --> 01:08:58,208
Emmit, this is not the time
1554
01:08:58,272 --> 01:08:59,808
I respectfully disagree
1555
01:08:59,873 --> 01:09:01,750
Now I jumped on your
friend here
1556
01:09:01,808 --> 01:09:03,185
and made
an ass out of myself
1557
01:09:03,243 --> 01:09:05,052
and I like to think that we're
all grown up enough
1558
01:09:05,112 --> 01:09:06,386
that I can rectify it
1559
01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:08,448
and we can all enjoy our
evenings at the same location
1560
01:09:08,515 --> 01:09:10,586
without it being awkward
1561
01:09:10,651 --> 01:09:11,629
How's everyone doing
over here?
1562
01:09:11,685 --> 01:09:12,925
- Another round?
- No.
1563
01:09:12,986 --> 01:09:13,930
- No
- No
1564
01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:14,931
Sure, my treat.
1565
01:09:14,988 --> 01:09:16,331
Emmit, you really don't
have to do that.
1566
01:09:16,390 --> 01:09:17,926
I'm sorry I
insulted you, man
1567
01:09:17,991 --> 01:09:19,129
Hey. it happens
1568
01:09:22,529 --> 01:09:23,906
Have We met?
1569
01:09:23,964 --> 01:09:27,343
Uh, I
don't know, maybe
1570
01:09:27,401 --> 01:09:28,937
- You a dancer?
- Here We go.
1571
01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:30,481
- Yes.
- Exotic.
1572
01:09:30,537 --> 01:09:32,073
Yes
1573
01:09:32,139 --> 01:09:34,050
I think I've gotten
lapped by you.
1574
01:09:34,107 --> 01:09:36,747
Emmit has a photographic
memory of every exotic dancer
1575
01:09:36,810 --> 01:09:38,187
east of the 405
1576
01:09:38,245 --> 01:09:41,249
Now, now, now, let's
not exaggerate.
1577
01:09:41,315 --> 01:09:42,658
Welcome to paradise
1578
01:09:42,716 --> 01:09:44,491
Emmit, Teri's going
through some stuff right now
1579
01:09:44,551 --> 01:09:47,395
and I really, as much as I
appreciate the gesture,
1580
01:09:47,454 --> 01:09:51,129
I need some alone time with
her and her brother.
1581
01:09:51,191 --> 01:09:54,434
Her brother?
1582
01:09:54,494 --> 01:09:56,667
No disrespect
1583
01:09:56,730 --> 01:10:00,041
All righty, that'll
be $16 even.
1584
01:10:00,100 --> 01:10:01,807
Okay, let me get this
1585
01:10:01,868 --> 01:10:03,006
Why don't I get this?
1586
01:10:03,070 --> 01:10:05,209
No, no, no, no
I insist.
1587
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:13,856
Okay.
1588
01:10:13,914 --> 01:10:17,054
You can.... keep it.
1589
01:10:17,117 --> 01:10:18,357
Thank you
1590
01:10:18,418 --> 01:10:19,863
You know, we gotta
get going anyways.
1591
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:22,366
No no stay
1592
01:10:22,422 --> 01:10:23,833
I'll get
out of your hair
1593
01:10:23,890 --> 01:10:26,234
You guys drink in peace
1594
01:10:26,293 --> 01:10:28,569
I said
what I came to say
1595
01:10:31,398 --> 01:10:34,345
You look like a million
bucks, Detective Driver
1596
01:10:42,209 --> 01:10:46,214
I guess that's that
1597
01:10:46,280 --> 01:10:48,157
That is that
1598
01:10:52,919 --> 01:10:55,229
You guys can go
1599
01:10:55,289 --> 01:10:56,632
Why don't you come
with us?
1600
01:10:56,690 --> 01:10:58,533
Where?
1601
01:10:58,592 --> 01:11:01,266
There's an after hours
starts in a few minutes
1602
01:11:01,328 --> 01:11:05,037
Ah, no, I'm done for
the night.
1603
01:11:05,098 --> 01:11:06,839
The night hasn't
even started.
1604
01:11:10,304 --> 01:11:12,716
You guys are really going
somewhere else right now?
1605
01:11:12,773 --> 01:11:14,650
We haven't even
danced yet.
1606
01:11:14,708 --> 01:11:16,881
Can't call it a night
out without a little dancing
1607
01:11:16,943 --> 01:11:18,980
What do you
say, Francine?
1608
01:11:19,046 --> 01:11:20,889
Let's get out of here
1609
01:11:20,947 --> 01:11:24,087
This place is
crawling with cops
1610
01:11:27,721 --> 01:11:31,464
♪♪
1611
01:11:41,535 --> 01:11:48,578
♪♪
1612
01:13:56,536 --> 01:13:59,483
( cheering and applauding )
1613
01:14:02,709 --> 01:14:07,180
♪♪
1614
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:15,597
I have something
for you.
1615
01:14:15,655 --> 01:14:18,693
What?
1616
01:14:18,758 --> 01:14:20,237
- You are a son of a bitch
- I didn't look at it.
1617
01:14:20,293 --> 01:14:22,569
- Right.
- I swear to God.
1618
01:14:22,629 --> 01:14:23,505
You look like an atheist to me.
1619
01:14:23,563 --> 01:14:25,008
Oh, no, I'm a believer.
1620
01:14:25,065 --> 01:14:26,305
I knew what it was right
away, but I figured
1621
01:14:26,366 --> 01:14:27,845
if I looked at it,
it would wreck my chances.
1622
01:14:27,901 --> 01:14:29,403
Of What?
1623
01:14:29,469 --> 01:14:32,814
I've been trying to get
the nerve to ask you all night.
1624
01:14:32,873 --> 01:14:36,480
I want you to pose for
me, for a portrait.
1625
01:14:36,543 --> 01:14:37,920
Why me?
1626
01:14:37,978 --> 01:14:40,356
You have this
intangible quality.
1627
01:14:40,413 --> 01:14:41,619
Try harder.
1628
01:14:41,681 --> 01:14:44,662
I'm cursed by the blossoming
knowledge of my feminine ideal
1629
01:14:44,718 --> 01:14:47,528
and she looks
suspiciously like you.
1630
01:14:47,587 --> 01:14:49,533
That's not bad.
1631
01:14:49,589 --> 01:14:51,660
H's pretty
good you mean.
1632
01:14:51,725 --> 01:14:52,965
Not a total waste?
1633
01:14:53,026 --> 01:14:54,562
How about the truth?
1634
01:14:54,628 --> 01:14:56,437
The truth is you're
not my usual type.
1635
01:14:56,496 --> 01:14:58,840
And what's your
usual type?
1636
01:14:58,899 --> 01:14:59,934
Gaunt, fashionable and dumb
1637
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:01,741
with a big, square
Appalachian ass
1638
01:15:01,801 --> 01:15:03,747
and obsessed with
country music.
1639
01:15:03,803 --> 01:15:05,305
Jesus.
1640
01:15:06,773 --> 01:15:09,515
Will you at least
consider it?
1641
01:15:40,539 --> 01:15:52,454
♪♪