1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,508 - Don't freak out, dude. Just relax. - I'm freaking out. 2 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,738 You're fucking looking a little suspicious. Now just calm down. 3 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,382 If one of these pigs takes my wife, I will kill them. 4 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,812 Maria, down. 5 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:23,016 Fucking under the blankets. Put that Tecate box on her head. 6 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,424 - All right, he's calling us. He's calling us. - Fuck. 7 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,926 - Why are there so many dogs? - Looking for al Qaedas. I don't know. 8 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,462 - Stop it. - I'm going to. Let me pull the fuck up. 9 00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:34,463 - Stop. - Jesus Christ. 10 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,528 Hello. How are you, officer? 11 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,697 Probably want the passports. Okay. 12 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:46,037 Here you go. Just two passports from two Americans. 13 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,273 Destination? 14 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,411 Shelby, North Carolina. We're heading home. 15 00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:55,144 Heading to the hometown. 16 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,312 You bust any Soviets out here today? 17 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,651 You busting-? Busting the commies? 18 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,020 No. 19 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,821 Nature of your visit? 20 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,964 The- The visit in Mexico? 21 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:06,792 Yeah. 22 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,490 Mainly soul-searching. 23 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,295 Soul-searching? Is that drug talk? 24 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,370 No, no, no. We- No, we - 25 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,564 - Vacation. It was a vacation trip. - Okay. 26 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,472 Went to Cabo Wabo, to " Macu Picos," where all the pyramids are. 27 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,307 Just all the vacation destinations in Mexico. 28 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,506 Gonna need you to pull the car over, sir. 29 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,018 Why do you need me to do that? 30 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:29,354 Because I'm gonna search it. 31 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:30,716 Okay. 32 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,289 You know what? 33 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,086 I got a confession to make, okay? 34 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,454 But, Kenny - 35 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,859 I just wanna come clean with this so we can save everybody some time. 36 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:42,297 - I don't think you need - - I got this, Stevie. 37 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:43,993 I've been hiding something, okay? 38 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,262 - What are you hiding? - This. 39 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,773 Check it. You recognize who I am? 40 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,971 Nope. 41 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,240 Goatee. 42 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,477 - What does that mean? - Lock into the eyes. 43 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:06,821 Take in the hair, facial structural features. 44 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,654 Kenny Powers. 45 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,058 - Excuse me? - Kenny Powers, Kenny Powers. 46 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,721 The base- The baseball player? 47 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,732 - The baseball player? - The fucking baseball player. 48 00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:18,097 Holy shit, Kenny P. in the house. 49 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,262 - How's it going? - Get the fuck out of here. 50 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,567 I'd love to get out of here. We're trying to. 51 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,232 No, no, no. Can I get a picture? 52 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,605 Give me a picture. We gotta get a pic right now. 53 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:29,247 Can you say that catch phrase you always say? That - 54 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,280 - You're fucking out. - You're fucking out. 55 00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,043 - It's "you're fucking out." - Ready? 56 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,449 - Yeah. You're fucking out! - You're fucking out! 57 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,055 - Yeah, okay. - All right! 58 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,316 - There we are. So we're good. - Here you go. 59 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,720 Thank you very much. 60 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,021 Nice to meet you. Do you have any contact info? 61 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,596 I do not. Thank you for keeping the border safe. 62 00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:49,462 Hey, before you go. You're fucking out of Mexico. 63 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:50,864 I'm good, huh? 64 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:53,733 Let me know when you catch bin Laden. I got some champagne. 65 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,273 - Will do, motherfucker. - You bet. 66 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,740 We're safe now, Maria. 67 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,108 Kenny's celebrity saved us. 68 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,443 Feels good to break the laws in America again. 69 00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,482 America! 70 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,530 Looks like that's the last of your shit. 71 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,825 Here you go. Can you just take that? 72 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,867 So it'll balance you out. Yeah. 73 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,963 Hey, boo, could you give us a second? 74 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,936 Can you wait inside, please? 75 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,903 That's yours too. Don't forget that. 76 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,042 There you go. 77 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,043 Very strong legs. Very sure-footed. 78 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,411 My little mule. 79 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,143 Fucking Shelby. 80 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,446 - Fucking Shelby. - We made it. 81 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,182 Guess you're gonna go fuck April now, huh? Probably? 82 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,826 - Probably? Definitely. - Definitely? 83 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,486 I mean, maybe we'll start off slow with a welcome-home blowjob or something. 84 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,131 Yeah, we'll see how it goes. 85 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:29,632 Light some candles, heat up a fucking Lean Cuisine and go to town. 86 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,269 Get sexy, huh? 87 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:35,339 Well, man, it was amazing and I thank you. 88 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:38,443 Thank you. I don't think I could've done what I did in Mexico... 89 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,944 ...without somebody there to do all the rest of the shit... 90 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,106 ...that needed to be done down in Mexico. 91 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,412 It's my job, man. That's my job. 92 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,650 Give me some skin. 93 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,620 I'll see you around. 94 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,523 Not if I see you first. 95 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,159 Look! A penny! 96 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,895 Adiós, Stevie. 97 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:16,379 - Dustin? Honey, you want this? - Oh, yeah. 98 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,087 I've returned to you. 99 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,991 Uncle Kenny. 100 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,361 Well, if it isn't my favorite nephew, huh? How you doing, buddy? 101 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,799 And the other nephew. Look at you, Biggie Smalls. Goddamn. 102 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,495 Look like you've aged three years since last I saw you. 103 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,233 Got some sort of reverse Benjamin Button thing going on? 104 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,673 Oh, he's fine, Kenny. Wayne's normal. 105 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,073 Yeah, of course he is. 106 00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:48,474 Get in here, motherfucker. 107 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,479 You bastard. 108 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:52,576 Look at this one, huh? 109 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:53,946 Old sweet tits. 110 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,119 - Wow, you've really trimmed up. - Oh, thank you. 111 00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,020 Not nearly as heavy as you were last time. You look great. 112 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,685 Yeah. That kissing-on-the-cheek thing is a custom I picked up abroad. 113 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,228 Not trying to flirt. 114 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,629 Now, when you say that you were abroad, does that mean Tampa or...? 115 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,103 Well, Tampa didn't really pan out the way I hoped it would. 116 00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:14,967 So I decided just to split and head down to Mexico. 117 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:19,077 I fought and fucked my way to being the greatest gringo that country's ever seen. 118 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,179 I also found our father... 119 00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,838 ...and earned a place on a team in Myrtle Beach. 120 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,109 - True story. - Wait a second. You found Pop? 121 00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:29,014 Did he ask about me or...? 122 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,882 No, he didn't really ask about you at all. 123 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,253 It was me who went there and searched for him. 124 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,486 We're not gonna sit in Mexico in an adobe... 125 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:40,154 ...talking about somebody who's not even there. That'd be stupid. 126 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,426 Whose birthday is it? 127 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,263 - It's Rose. - Rose. 128 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,699 - Who? - Your niece, Rose. 129 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,238 Oh, Rose. Okay. Yeah, whatever. 130 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,141 - Anyway, I gotta get a move on. - Okay. 131 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:54,336 I got a pot of titties waiting for me at the end of the rainbow. 132 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,175 Before I can sip upon them... 133 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,807 ...I need to go ahead and take a big old shit in a fucking American toilet. 134 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,613 - Cool? - Yeah. 135 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,779 Give me high-fives. American high-fives. 136 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,220 Good to see your goddamn white faces. Give it up. 137 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,518 Yeah. 138 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,330 I mean "school." 139 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:45,759 Hop up, sweetheart. 140 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,194 Get out of here. 141 00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:48,799 Excuse me. 142 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,335 Lunch kids! All you motherfuckers eating food... 143 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,632 ...put it down. Look up to me. 144 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,138 I need all eyes up here now. 145 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,606 Get this thing out of here. 146 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,472 Everyone, eyes up here. 147 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,476 Fucking eyes up here... 148 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,616 ...so I have all the attentions of everyone. Attention, please. 149 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:07,719 For those of y'all who do not know who I am... 150 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,946 ...my name is Kenny Powers. 151 00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:12,852 And as fucked up and weird as it may seem... 152 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,583 ...I used to be a teacher here. 153 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,387 But now I return to you... 154 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,027 ...a victor, a champion... 155 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:23,328 ...a man who has defeated the face of Mexican baseball. 156 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:27,234 Not to get back my old job. Fuck that noise. 157 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:30,500 But to capture the heart of one of your teachers... 158 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,109 ...and take her away forever. 159 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,002 So at this time... 160 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,149 ...I would like the beautiful, the forgiving... 161 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:41,184 ...the talented, big-chested art teacher... 162 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,481 ...to please step forward. 163 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,458 Where's she at? 164 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,528 Show me them big old titties. Come on. 165 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,186 I-I - 166 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,299 I'm the art teacher. 167 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,493 The fuck you are. Where's the real art teacher? 168 00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,934 Hey, Kenny. What are you doing? 169 00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,734 What does it look like I'm doing? I'm here to get April. 170 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,367 Well, then you're standing on a table cursing at children for no reason... 171 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,276 ...because she doesn't work here anymore. 172 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:10,745 Well, where the fuck is she? 173 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,113 I'll tell you what. 174 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,380 Why don't you take your feet out of Clyde Tryksler's potatoes... 175 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,024 ...step down off of our state-funded lunch tables... 176 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:22,649 ...and I will take you to see her myself. Is that fair? 177 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,621 All right. 178 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:28,324 Okay, people, sorry if I fucked up your lunch here. 179 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,799 My bad. Stay in school. 180 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:34,098 Fight the power. And don't do drugs. 181 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,605 Unless, of course, you're doing them with me. 182 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,904 - Never gonna turn down free drugs. - Not funny. Not a funny joke. 183 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,138 - Come down. - It's school lunch. Who cares? 184 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,943 Shit's like a buck 25. Get over it. Get out of the way. 185 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,119 So this... 186 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:53,458 This Myrtle Beach thing, it's different from the one in Tampa? 187 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:56,925 I have to say, on the surface it sounds remarkably similar. 188 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,724 Dude, don't worry about my deals, all right? 189 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,527 Don't understand why April's playing Flip This House. 190 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,500 Everyone knows the bubble burst on that shit years ago. 191 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:08,071 Well, she gave it a pretty good go after you left. 192 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,437 But I think her heart just really wasn't in teaching anymore. 193 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,980 You know, there was a moment in time when I was in the pits and anus of Mexico. 194 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,172 Where is that? 195 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,511 - It's a town called Copales. - Okay. 196 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,916 And while I was there, I thought for a brief moment... 197 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,148 ...that you two actually had gotten married. 198 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,757 Oh, yeah, no. 199 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:30,760 And I was thinking what a fucking stupid mistake that would've been for her. 200 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,023 - For-? Oh, for her. - Just terrible. 201 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:37,192 Being that you kind of already had been there and then it was destroyed... 202 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,304 - Yeah. - ...and the real love was found. 203 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,997 And it would've been such a compromise to be with you. 204 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:44,699 Yeah. It's kind of insulting, isn't it? 205 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,401 Just a little bit? 206 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,810 It- I was- I'm destiny, Cutty. 207 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,846 - This is a wonderful outfit... - Yep. 208 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,146 - ...you've put together here. - La Flama Blanca. 209 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,016 - What is it? - La Flama Blanca. 210 00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,020 It's Spanish for "the White Flame." 211 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:02,251 I was pitching pure, from the heart, so that's why I wore a suit... 212 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,794 ...with white and silver flames on it. 213 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:07,398 But now it all climaxes here. 214 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,432 Crazy you're here to witness it. 215 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,503 Who would've guessed? 216 00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:16,102 I don't know. 217 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,572 - Watch as I win her back. - Okay. 218 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,948 Hey, you know, there's actually one other thing you should know. 219 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,250 No, I'll let him find out. 220 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,449 Okay, so this is it. 221 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,614 What do you guys think of the house? 222 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:36,694 I don't know. Ever since my hysterectomy I swore I'd never get a place with stairs. 223 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,853 I haven't done this as long as Jamie has... 224 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,057 ...but this is the best floor plan that I have ever seen. 225 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,032 Or we could show you the 1.5-million place with an elevator. 226 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,067 April? 227 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:54,769 Your champion has returned to reclaim his love. 228 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,643 I stand before you as a man pure of heart. 229 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,285 Oh, fuck, you're pregnant. 230 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,385 Oh, fuck me. 231 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,490 What are you doing in here, Kenny? 232 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,823 I came- I came back for you, just like I promised I would. 233 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,894 No, you didn't promise anything like that. 234 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,499 Well, I came to mend things. Oh, my God. Holy shit! 235 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,692 - We could come back. - No, you don't have to. 236 00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:19,235 - Who's the fucking dad? - Well, hello, Jamie. 237 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,839 - What's up, stalker? - Oh, I'm the stalker? 238 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:23,269 - Yeah. - Who is this guy? 239 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:26,536 Oh, Jamie? Jamie is the smooth-talking black gentleman... 240 00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,909 ...who lured April away from the noble craft of teaching. 241 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,050 - He did not lure me. - Yes, he did. 242 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,276 No, he did not, Cutler. 243 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,977 With promises of high commissions and big percentages. 244 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,713 Just stop. Please, just stop. 245 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,915 I think I've fucking figured it out here. 246 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,152 You being all coy. Him being all damn touchy-feely. 247 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:47,197 I knew things had probably gotten dark. I never imagined shit had gotten this dark. 248 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:50,096 - What's that supposed to mean? - You do the math, buddy. 249 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:53,534 I've been through goddamn thick and thin, hell and fucking high water. 250 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,368 I come back to find you've made your bed with another man. 251 00:12:56,542 --> 00:13:00,273 Who the fuck do you think you are? Honestly? 252 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:02,578 Get out. 253 00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,909 Stay away from me. 254 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:10,818 Because I never, ever wanna see your face ever again. 255 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,652 Do you just not wanna see me today? 256 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:15,555 - Just wanna cool down-? - No, ever. 257 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,660 Get out. 258 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,565 Well, I wouldn't wanna ruin a sale, huh? 259 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,470 Guess you guys gotta make those commissions... 260 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,336 ...be able to buy all the goddamn FUBU... 261 00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,273 ...and OshKosh B'gosh and shit the baby's gonna be wearing. 262 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,345 Hey, potential homebuyers... 263 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,548 ...hope y'all know that a lot of rapes happened in this house. 264 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,550 - Get out! - I hope you disclosed that, April. 265 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,584 Get out of here. 266 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:52,228 There were no rapes here, as far as I know. 267 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,019 - Yeah. - Goddamn. 268 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:28,391 I'll admit, Clegg, I didn't think I was gonna be seeing you again. 269 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,468 But it's nice to know that whenever I hit rock bottom... 270 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:35,129 ...you'll always be here, waiting with a big old line of cocaine. 271 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,434 - How was rehab? - Great. 272 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:42,510 Bunch of hottie heroin junkies running around. 273 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,707 Once you get rid of that needle, they go straight for the dick. 274 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,945 Yeah, they got a few of them pretty girls down in Mexico. 275 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,554 Temptresses. 276 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,123 Little Spanish caramel fucking sirens. 277 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,624 I was trying to save myself, keep pure for April. 278 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,518 Then I get back here... 279 00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:01,223 ...turns out she didn't have the same fucking agenda as me. 280 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,765 She's pregnant... 281 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,698 ...with a black man's baby. 282 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,902 But you were fucking some other people, right? 283 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,543 Yeah. I basically fucked like... 284 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,305 ...almost a whole entire village full of Mexican women. 285 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,915 I'll be damned. Kenny fucking Powers. 286 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,010 Look who's back in town. 287 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:23,245 Last time I saw you, I think I had a yeast infection. 288 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,822 I'm all cleared up now. You miss me? 289 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,515 They got girls like me in Tampa? 290 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,822 Yeah, I'm sure they got sluts in Tampa. 291 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,930 But I didn't go there, wet puss. 292 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:37,762 I went to Mexico on an epic spiritual quest that ended in failure. 293 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:41,039 Wait, whoa. You still got Myrtle Beach coming up. 294 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:44,403 Doesn't matter, Clegg. The Pavilion's closed... 295 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:46,635 ...and Myrtle Beach ain't what it used to be. 296 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,404 Why are you dressed as Boss Hogg? 297 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,810 I'm not dressed like Boss Hogg, you dumb bitch. 298 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:53,110 I'm dressed like pure. 299 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,775 Just, why don't you go fuck off? 300 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,115 Don't you got somebody you gotta give AIDS to? 301 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,415 Fucking retard. 302 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,922 So anyway, I'm thinking... 303 00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:03,186 ...if you're not doing anything this summer... 304 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,489 ...we get on the road and go hit some dates. 305 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:09,623 Some JB and the Boys, Keller, fucking Gov't Mule. 306 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,067 Hit the Southwestern leg, maybe get into some Psycho Toads. 307 00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:14,671 That sound like a good idea? 308 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,899 Is this fucking Seger? 309 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,805 It's definitely Seger. 310 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,572 Jesus Christ. 311 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,773 I gotta get out of here. I need to get some fucking air, dude. 312 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:26,417 All right. 313 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,021 Is it the blow? This is pretty cheap shit. 314 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,259 Come here. 315 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,123 Excuse me. 316 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,165 Can't listen to any romantical shit now. 317 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,326 - We were listening to that. - Not anymore. 318 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,994 Kenny, have you been crying? 319 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,005 - What's the matter? - I'm not crying. It's just lake water. 320 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,767 What is the matter with you? 321 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,412 Well, since you asked, April's what's the matter. 322 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:58,271 - Oh, so you've talked to her then? - I tried to talk to her. 323 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,942 But all she cares about talking about is her new goddamn business partner... 324 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,089 ...and her unborn multicultural baby. 325 00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:06,156 - April's pregnant? - That's big news. 326 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,088 Heck, that's- Good for her, yeah. 327 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:11,195 What are y'all talking about? That's not good for her. 328 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,957 That's fucking bad for her. It's even worse for me. 329 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,532 Kenny, come on, man. 330 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,829 You think Mom should've waited all those years for Dad to come back? 331 00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,835 Oh, come on. Give me a fucking break. 332 00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,566 Don't act like you're the goddamn expert of father. 333 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,108 Well, okay. Have you thought of maybe just... 334 00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:29,338 ...saying sorry to April and then start from there? 335 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,073 I cannot do that. It's negatory. 336 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,650 It should be her who's fucking apologizing to me. 337 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,049 I still don't understand why she would do this. 338 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,713 Well, I don't know, maybe because you left her at a fucking gas station. 339 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:44,118 Look, Kenny, if you really wanna do right by April then leave her alone. 340 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,628 Let her have her own life and get on with yours. 341 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,461 Go to Myrtle. Go and be a baseball player. 342 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,001 That's what you've been chasing your whole life. 343 00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,231 Maybe you're right, Dustin. 344 00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:02,938 Guess I should just go be a cold, calculated killing machine on the mound. 345 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:06,716 Just striking out idiots joylessly... 346 00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:09,044 ...just going through the motions... 347 00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:12,815 ...because no one loves me and my heart is dead. 348 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,652 As they say in Mexico, buenas noches. 349 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:32,027 Maria? Maria? 350 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:35,230 How long are your cousins planning on staying here? 351 00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:44,712 Don't mind me. It's just my fucking house. 352 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:47,351 I'll get the fucking door. 353 00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:51,249 - What's up? - Oh, thank God. 354 00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:55,525 Listen, Maria's cousins came over about an hour after we got here... 355 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,423 ...and I don't think they're leaving. 356 00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,860 Well, then just get a hold of yourself, all right? 357 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,296 Because I came here to bid you farewell, Stevie. 358 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,994 I'm starting a new life today, one where I'm gonna be alone. 359 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:07,763 No. I'm fucking coming with you. 360 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,908 Let's bolt. I'm not even gonna say goodbye. 361 00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,236 You can't. You need to stay here with Maria. 362 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,935 Listen, I think I made a mistake. 363 00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:15,841 No, you didn't make a mistake, man. 364 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,949 This is the pangs and curiosities of love. 365 00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:22,280 Always second-guessing yourself, but knowing at the core... 366 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:25,048 ...it's the right thing to do. You can't run from that. 367 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:29,422 Kenny, I literally cannot even talk to her because she speaks another language. 368 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,989 It does not matter. Love is the international language. 369 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,757 She has all her cousins in there. 370 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:37,493 I feel like I'm being strangled by, like... 371 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:41,002 ...a bunch of Mexicans on a necklace just trying to - 372 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:43,164 - That's love, dude. - That's love? 373 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:45,970 Let it take hold and rip out every last breath you have. 374 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:47,805 Just trust me. 375 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,808 It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans... 376 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,417 ...than to be strangled by no one at all. 377 00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:59,816 - Hola, Kenny. - Hola, Maria. 378 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,191 That's a nice T-shirt. 379 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,256 Because it's true. 380 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:09,662 "Love is the best gift ever." 381 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:14,032 Listen. I have one final favor I need to ask the both of you. 382 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,430 What is it? 383 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:20,872 It's your book. 384 00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:22,846 You finally finished it? 385 00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:24,814 You know what to do with this. 386 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,810 Do you know what to do with that? 387 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,784 I think I know what to do with this. 388 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,391 So you don't ruin it, what are you gonna do with it? 389 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,055 I'm going to listen to it? 390 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:38,924 You're already wrong. You're going - 391 00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,860 - To give it to April. - To April. 392 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,895 This is truth. 393 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:46,060 You live by that. 394 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,933 You die by that. 395 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:49,900 Then you'll have a happy marriage. 396 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:54,204 Adiós, you two crazy lovers. 397 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,884 Okay, thank you guys for coming. 398 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,682 Y'all have my card if you need anything. 399 00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:09,884 And that list price is just a start. Our sellers are very motivated. Very. 400 00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:14,189 Hi. 401 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:16,698 Are you here for the open house? 402 00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:18,165 Tits grande? 403 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:21,801 Yes? 404 00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:23,598 For you. 405 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:08,277 Chapter one continued. 406 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,450 More of what I was just saying. 407 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:16,486 Never in a million years did I imagine myself being in Mexico. 408 00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:19,221 After all, who would? 409 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,128 Most Mexicans spend their day just trying to get out. 410 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:26,634 So you can hardly blame foreigners like myself for not thinking about getting in. 411 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:30,530 Oddly enough, the people here aren't that different from ones back home... 412 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,234 ...when you get past the lack of interest in real sports... 413 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,506 ...and the need to have yellow rice at every fucking meal. 414 00:23:37,682 --> 00:23:40,742 Can't help but notice how much they stick together too. 415 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,251 When you see Mexicans in the States you think: 416 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,585 "Oh, there's a group of Mexicans doing Mexican things together." 417 00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:50,988 But here you see it's not just because they talk the same language and are all Catholic. 418 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,790 Family means a lot to these people. 419 00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:56,923 Relationships, husbands, wives, parents, all that shit. 420 00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,294 Reminds me of why I'm here in the first place. 421 00:24:00,472 --> 00:24:03,202 The quest is nothing if you got no one to brag about it to. 422 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,344 You'll never reach the end if you're only doing it for yourself. 423 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:11,306 Me, I'm doing it for a girl I had to leave behind just to get this far. 424 00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:15,217 Now I gotta go a little further to get back to her. 425 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:18,652 All I can do is hope that one day she'll understand... 426 00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:22,191 ...and when that day comes it's not too late. 427 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,756 Chapter Nothing: The Fucking Epilogue. 428 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,368 You're really leaving already? 429 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:35,233 Yes, I am, Wayne. 430 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:39,173 There's absolutely nothing for me here in Shelby, so I'm out. 431 00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:44,311 Well, I can't believe it, but I think he's actually leaving. 432 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,144 Really? 433 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,512 - Yeah. - Damn. 434 00:24:47,919 --> 00:24:51,184 - How far away is Myrtle Beach? - About four hours. 435 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:53,085 Can you get us fireworks? 436 00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,954 Not if you don't clean up this goddamn Jet Ski so I can go. 437 00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:57,321 Come on, get back to it. 438 00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,932 I can't go to Myrtle Beach with the most disgusting Jet Ski ever seen. 439 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,567 - Hey. - Hey. 440 00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:14,041 I listened to your tapes. 441 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:16,373 Oh, you read my book? 442 00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:19,379 I appreciate how honest you were in it. 443 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:23,282 Yeah, well, I took some artistic license with some things. Like the Vida parts. 444 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:27,516 - I really only fucked her a handful of times. - It's okay. It's okay. 445 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,991 But all the parts about doing everything for you... 446 00:25:31,162 --> 00:25:32,527 ...that stuff was true. 447 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:36,265 Kenny, I have something to tell you. 448 00:25:36,434 --> 00:25:38,698 Yeah, I have something to tell you too. 449 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:40,098 I'm sorry, April. 450 00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:42,900 I learned a lot down in Mexico. 451 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:48,437 I learned that sometimes, to be the man, you gotta beat the man. 452 00:25:48,613 --> 00:25:51,309 I learned the grass is not always greener. 453 00:25:51,483 --> 00:25:55,214 I learned that adversity's sweet milk is philosophy, April. 454 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,615 The baby's yours. 455 00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:06,620 I don't need anything from you, I don't expect anything from you. 456 00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:08,527 I just wanted you to know. 457 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:14,900 It's taken me some time to accept the situation and be happy... 458 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,837 ...but I am. 459 00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:24,806 I'm excited to be a mama, Kenny. 460 00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:30,249 Are you gonna say something or...? 461 00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:37,423 You're not making sense. 462 00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:41,488 You know, just process everything. 463 00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:42,860 - Of course. - You know. 464 00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:46,435 I was actually planning on splitting out of town to go to Myrtle Beach. 465 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,438 - Got a job just pitching down there. - Okay, of course. 466 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,873 Yeah, of course you need time to process this. 467 00:26:53,044 --> 00:26:55,740 And that's okay. 468 00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:58,348 - That's okay. - Okay. 469 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:03,477 April? 470 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:10,492 You know, I don't have to leave right now. 471 00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:12,390 You know, there's this - 472 00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:15,192 A really cool Mexican place down the road. 473 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:17,995 Has really awesome food, but the decor is kind of shitty. 474 00:27:18,169 --> 00:27:21,434 It's kind of like Mexico itself. 475 00:27:22,173 --> 00:27:24,641 Kenny, I'm gonna need you to know... 476 00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:27,801 ...that I'm not interested in being in love with you anymore. 477 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,977 I get that. 478 00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:35,150 But I've - 479 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,850 I've just come a long way. 480 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:42,053 And I'd just like a chance to catch up with you. 481 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,091 Okay. 482 00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:51,733 Okay? 483 00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:57,006 All right, cool. Well, how about I drive? 484 00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:59,405 - I'll follow you. - You'll-? 485 00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,545 I see why you'd be wary of riding with me. 486 00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:03,578 - Right. - That's understandable. Okay. 487 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:05,841 So we'll just meet there? 488 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:09,214 - I'll meet you there. Okay. - Meet there. Okay. 489 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,783 It's not the black guy's kid. It's mine. 490 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:21,729 Guys, come on, scram. 491 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:25,125 Jet Ski's clean. Get the fuck out of there.