1
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:20,048
Jeremy!
2
00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:21,880
Hi. Hi.
3
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:24,277
Uh, I was just gonna see
what you're up to today,
4
00:01:24,378 --> 00:01:26,009
but you're obviously
going to work, so.
5
00:01:26,109 --> 00:01:28,672
This is a joke shirt.
6
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,803
'Cause I'm a trainer. Oh.
7
00:01:31,004 --> 00:01:36,097
Yeah, I sometimes train, um,
VIP clients at night.
8
00:01:36,232 --> 00:01:38,394
Like Shania... Twain.
9
00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:39,393
Wow.
10
00:01:39,528 --> 00:01:41,958
And then I come
back here during the day
11
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,487
and I'm just free to do
whatever happens.
12
00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:47,052
You know... Well, I know we don't
know each other that well,
13
00:01:47,219 --> 00:01:49,316
but I'm heading upstate today
to pick up some
14
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,446
salvaged beams from an
abandoned barn... Oh.
15
00:01:51,547 --> 00:01:54,676
And I was just wondering
if you...
16
00:01:54,777 --> 00:01:56,574
could sign for a package
for me that I'm expecting.
17
00:01:56,675 --> 00:01:57,739
Oh.
18
00:01:57,841 --> 00:01:59,205
I mean, only if you're
going to be home anyway.
19
00:01:59,305 --> 00:02:00,836
Totally, totally.
20
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,068
Amazing, okay.
21
00:02:02,168 --> 00:02:03,099
I'll leave a note on my door
22
00:02:03,201 --> 00:02:04,132
and tell them to
drop it off here.
23
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,831
The window's between
10:00 and 4:00.
24
00:02:05,931 --> 00:02:07,994
Okay. I really appreciate it.
25
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,292
Yeah. I owe you one.
26
00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:12,722
Okay, I love you too.
27
00:02:12,824 --> 00:02:14,520
I'm sorry, did you
just say something?
28
00:02:14,621 --> 00:02:16,884
No, I think that you said...
you said something to me.
29
00:02:17,052 --> 00:02:19,348
Yeah, I said, "Can you sign
for a package for me"
30
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,913
that I'm expecting,"
and then you said...
31
00:02:21,047 --> 00:02:23,610
And then I didn't...
I don't think I said anything.
32
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,607
You're hearing things, man.
I might be.
33
00:02:25,708 --> 00:02:27,672
You better get those beams.
34
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,481
You can sign for the package, though, right?
I can totally do that.
35
00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:33,132
Okay. Great signature.
36
00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:35,130
All right, love you too.
37
00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,662
Oh, my God.
38
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,788
Ilana?
39
00:02:43,921 --> 00:02:45,318
Hey, Ilana.
40
00:02:46,885 --> 00:02:48,249
What?
41
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:49,413
What time is it?
42
00:02:49,581 --> 00:02:51,578
Were you just sleeping
with your eyes open?
43
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,810
No.
44
00:02:52,944 --> 00:02:54,542
Of course not.
45
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:58,836
Um, that would take, like,
super long to perfect.
46
00:02:58,937 --> 00:03:00,102
Computer's not on.
47
00:03:00,202 --> 00:03:01,733
It's just idle, I think.
48
00:03:01,834 --> 00:03:03,464
It's not on.
49
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,890
Look, I need you to read and
sign the employee manual.
50
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,721
Details a lot of
the workplace policies.
51
00:03:12,822 --> 00:03:17,483
One of them is, um,
proper workplace attire.
52
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:18,681
Oh, okay.
53
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,845
Well, I can just cover this.
54
00:03:20,946 --> 00:03:22,909
Oops.
55
00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,308
Oop.
56
00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:27,138
"Sophie's Choice."
57
00:03:27,239 --> 00:03:28,470
Hey.
58
00:03:28,571 --> 00:03:30,468
It also details our sexual
harassment policies.
59
00:03:30,569 --> 00:03:31,467
Got it.
60
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,120
Got it, got it, got it,
got it, got it.
61
00:03:33,165 --> 00:03:34,030
Cool.
62
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:36,627
Um, well, I will get
right on that, sire.
63
00:03:36,761 --> 00:03:39,957
But first, I'm going to take my
top-o'-the-morning-dump-to-you.
64
00:03:40,057 --> 00:03:42,454
So um, I'll see you in a
couple... Couple hours.
65
00:03:43,721 --> 00:03:45,683
Yeah, you know, it started
as a sore throat,
66
00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:48,314
but I'm feeling
really feverish now.
67
00:03:48,448 --> 00:03:50,611
It's escalating quickly.
68
00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:53,141
A clump of my hair
just fell out actually.
69
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,740
Somebody had an accident
in the steam room
70
00:03:54,874 --> 00:03:56,471
and I kind of want
you to handle that.
71
00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:58,036
It's getting worse
as we're talking.
72
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,901
All right,
let's wheelbarrow, come on.
73
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:01,632
I really think
I should stay home.
74
00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:03,697
Fine, take the day off, but
this is what I want you to do.
75
00:04:03,864 --> 00:04:06,926
Run a quick 5K, sweat it out,
then take an eight-minute nap.
76
00:04:07,061 --> 00:04:08,691
Wake up,
do a shot of Echinacea,
77
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,588
and then jump right
into an ice bath.
78
00:04:10,690 --> 00:04:13,153
Immediately after that,
suck on some ice chips,
79
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,949
then urinate as
hard and as fast as you can.
80
00:04:16,051 --> 00:04:18,546
Then eat a full onion, rub that
onion underneath your armpits,
81
00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:21,144
any kind of gland, any kind
of mucal cavity, okay?
82
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:23,107
It's called cellular confusion.
83
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:25,305
All right, back on
that bench, let's go!
84
00:04:25,407 --> 00:04:27,469
I'll give that a try
if I can muscle it.
85
00:04:27,637 --> 00:04:29,101
And then you just gotta veg.
86
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:30,699
They just put all of
"Smallville" on Netflix.
87
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,697
But Abbi, promise me you'll
watch from the beginning, okay?
88
00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:33,862
It really builds.
89
00:04:33,963 --> 00:04:36,559
Thanks, Trey. No problem,
Bob, feel better.
90
00:04:36,726 --> 00:04:39,323
All right, you want your ass
tight for reunion or what?
91
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:40,588
Finish strong.
92
00:04:40,722 --> 00:04:42,153
Nice work, Gloria.
93
00:04:42,254 --> 00:04:44,051
All right, hit the showers.
94
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,649
Okay.
95
00:04:47,514 --> 00:04:49,112
Join me in the showers.
96
00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:50,943
I'm not on my period.
97
00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:59,067
Hello? Ilana Wexler?
98
00:04:59,201 --> 00:05:00,466
Maybe... Who is this?
99
00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:02,696
It's Linda Lodi, from the
Linda Lodi temp agency.
100
00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:05,360
Listen, um, I know we haven't
called you in since that whole.
101
00:05:05,461 --> 00:05:07,558
Popsicle incident.
I totally forgot about that.
102
00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:09,988
Would you be available for some
temp work this afternoon?
103
00:05:10,089 --> 00:05:12,119
Uh...
104
00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:13,984
yeah, I'm available.
105
00:05:14,118 --> 00:05:15,948
Great, just come over
as soon as you can.
106
00:05:21,276 --> 00:05:22,773
Ilana, listen, this delivery
window starts in like,
107
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:24,339
20 minutes, I really gotta go.
108
00:05:24,505 --> 00:05:25,338
Okay, one last thing.
109
00:05:25,504 --> 00:05:26,868
Dude, this is huge.
110
00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:28,200
Not that big of a deal.
111
00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:29,533
Once you get this package,
he's going to think of you
112
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:31,830
as someone he can
trust with his mail.
113
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,595
Next thing you know, you're
pregnant with his sperm
114
00:05:33,696 --> 00:05:36,358
and he's sanding down
your headboard shirtless.
115
00:05:36,459 --> 00:05:37,957
I mean, I don't know if I'd
get pregnant like, right away.
116
00:05:38,123 --> 00:05:40,020
I've heard from like, lots of
women that the sex gets bad
117
00:05:40,121 --> 00:05:41,952
after you have kids. Totally.
118
00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:43,783
We haven't even had sex once.
119
00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,415
I just want to, like,
make sure we do it enough
120
00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:47,445
before I would have
a kid, you know?
121
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:52,706
Even if it didn't happen
exactly like that, like,
122
00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:54,437
I think this was
a huge step for us for real,
123
00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:56,535
because he said he owes me one.
124
00:05:56,636 --> 00:05:58,799
Owes you one?
125
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,664
His dick, dude!
126
00:06:00,765 --> 00:06:01,763
You think so?
127
00:06:01,864 --> 00:06:03,727
Oh, he's gonna thank you.
128
00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,858
So wear that candy thong
I got you from Spencer's.
129
00:06:05,959 --> 00:06:07,822
You ate it like, as soon as
you gave it to me.
130
00:06:07,924 --> 00:06:09,620
Listen, I really gotta go.
I gotta let you go, sweetie.
131
00:06:09,721 --> 00:06:11,652
I'm about to start
at this temp job... Bye bye.
132
00:06:15,248 --> 00:06:15,947
Sorry.
133
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,178
I had to take that.
134
00:06:17,346 --> 00:06:19,909
You made that call in the
middle of our conversation.
135
00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:21,240
Did I?
136
00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:23,504
I'm really scraping the bottom
of the barrel here.
137
00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:25,519
Look, my whole staff
is out with food poisoning.
138
00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:28,165
I took them to lunch, that sushi
place underneath Penn Station.
139
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,298
Oh, I love that place.
140
00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:30,930
Yeah, it's usually good, right?
141
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,227
Anyway, look, when a call comes
in, just check the database,
142
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:34,825
send out the first person
available,
143
00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:35,824
and that's pretty much it.
144
00:06:35,925 --> 00:06:36,890
Got it? Yeah.
145
00:06:36,991 --> 00:06:38,288
Okay, I'm going to
leave you on your own.
146
00:06:38,389 --> 00:06:39,620
I gotta go get my hair fixed.
147
00:06:39,721 --> 00:06:41,584
Yeah, what happened there?
148
00:06:41,685 --> 00:06:42,749
I tried this new stylist.
149
00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,348
I said, "Do whatever you want."
150
00:06:44,449 --> 00:06:46,645
I am way too trusting
of strangers.
151
00:06:46,746 --> 00:06:48,409
Anyway, here's the keys.
152
00:06:48,511 --> 00:06:49,941
I'll catch you later, okay?
153
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,340
Good luck. Bye.
154
00:07:02,994 --> 00:07:04,525
Are you okay?
155
00:07:11,451 --> 00:07:14,913
Is a forever thing.
156
00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:17,177
Hey, Bevers, you hear
the door knock earlier?
157
00:07:17,278 --> 00:07:19,208
Mm-hmm.
Why didn't you answer it?
158
00:07:19,309 --> 00:07:20,739
I know you don't like me
to answer the door
159
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,436
because I don't
technically live here.
160
00:07:23,537 --> 00:07:24,769
Yeah, you don't
technically live here,
161
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,631
but when I'm not home,
feel free to answer the door.
162
00:07:27,732 --> 00:07:28,972
It could be something
important.
163
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,495
Okay, now we've
worked that out.
164
00:07:30,596 --> 00:07:31,461
Yeah, great.
165
00:07:31,562 --> 00:07:32,959
Hi, thanks for holding.
166
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,460
So your package is still on the
truck, but you can pick it up
167
00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:37,587
from the distribution center
after 4:30.
168
00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:38,952
I'm just confused.
169
00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:43,580
Why was the package delivered at
9:49 when the delivery window
170
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:45,078
was supposed to start at 10:00?
171
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:46,810
It's a flexible window.
172
00:07:46,911 --> 00:07:48,075
Windows are never flexible.
173
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,673
That's not how they work.
Sorry.
174
00:07:49,774 --> 00:07:52,171
Your borough's
distribution center is on.
175
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,468
North Brother Island.
Is that in New York?
176
00:07:54,569 --> 00:07:55,769
I've never even heard of that.
177
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:57,099
Yes, in the East River.
178
00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,296
Take the 6 train
to the last stop
179
00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:01,893
and transfer to the M83 bus
to the water taxi.
180
00:08:01,994 --> 00:08:04,091
Boom, you're there.
Thank you, I guess?
181
00:08:04,191 --> 00:08:05,655
You'll never
get off the island.
182
00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:07,120
What did you just say?
I'm sorry.
183
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:08,819
I'm watching "Shutter Island."
184
00:08:08,919 --> 00:08:10,517
Good luck.
185
00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:27,997
What up?
186
00:08:28,097 --> 00:08:29,396
Is this Linda?
187
00:08:29,496 --> 00:08:30,627
No, I'm just a temp.
188
00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:33,424
You're a temp at a temp agency?
189
00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:35,055
Touche.
190
00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:37,053
What up?
This is Wet Nose Walkers.
191
00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:39,617
We need a temp to cover one
of our dog walker routes.
192
00:08:39,784 --> 00:08:42,314
Absolutely, sir,
that's what we do best.
193
00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:44,778
Um...
194
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,842
What's the address?
195
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:53,102
Yeah!
196
00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:56,131
I'm making bank, bitch!
197
00:08:56,232 --> 00:08:57,097
Oh, my God.
198
00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:58,662
You are insane.
199
00:08:58,763 --> 00:09:02,224
Ab, I'm becoming a mogul a la
Jay-Z, a la Martha Stewart,
200
00:09:02,325 --> 00:09:03,723
a la Bethenny Frankel.
201
00:09:03,824 --> 00:09:04,888
From "Housewives"? Yeah.
202
00:09:04,989 --> 00:09:06,519
Next thing you know, I'm
backstage at Barclays
203
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:07,951
with RiRi and Bebe... Who?
204
00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:09,150
Rihanna and Beyonce.
205
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,314
And we're just laughing
and sipping on champagne
206
00:09:11,415 --> 00:09:13,656
with like, candlelight. 'Cause
that happens all the time.
207
00:09:13,713 --> 00:09:16,009
RiRi leans in for a kiss
and then she...
208
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,173
Goes down on you. Yeah.
209
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:20,371
Yeah, you... you say
that story a lot.
210
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:21,935
Oh... cool.
211
00:09:22,036 --> 00:09:24,167
Oh, my God!
212
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:26,797
I didn't know you had plans with Lincoln.
We don't have plans.
213
00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:28,494
We're just going to have sex at
one of these dogs' apartments.
214
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,093
Super classy.
215
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,258
I'd do it.
216
00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:32,879
I'd pick up your poop,
you're worth it.
217
00:09:32,924 --> 00:09:34,621
So I know why I missed
the window.
218
00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:36,242
I jinxed myself.
Why, what do you mean?
219
00:09:36,321 --> 00:09:37,651
'Cause I bought
too many condoms.
220
00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:38,849
It's the story of my life,
221
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,348
so just gonna deal with it.
222
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,609
But I won't make out with you.
223
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,334
That's what white people do,
that dog thing.
224
00:09:43,379 --> 00:09:44,743
Black people don't
make out with dogs.
225
00:09:44,843 --> 00:09:46,563
So what do you think is in
Jeremy's package?
226
00:09:46,642 --> 00:09:47,640
Oh, look at you.
227
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:48,772
You're standoffish, huh?
228
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:50,969
I've narrowed it down
to a bunch of things.
229
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,634
I made a little list here.
230
00:09:52,735 --> 00:09:54,798
Okay, so I think it's either,
um, clues to a mystery
231
00:09:54,966 --> 00:09:56,863
that he's gonna solve,
232
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,993
a manly handcrafted axe,
233
00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:01,225
or a really great belt.
234
00:10:01,325 --> 00:10:03,555
Nah, dude, it's a Fleshlight.
235
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:04,920
Ilana, why do you have to
ruin him for me?
236
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,119
It's not a Fleshlight.
237
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:08,117
It's healthy.
238
00:10:08,218 --> 00:10:09,482
I gotta head back
to the office.
239
00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:12,212
One of these dumb kids broke
his jaw on a Jawbreaker.
240
00:10:12,313 --> 00:10:13,477
Why would you even do that?
241
00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:15,807
It does exactly what
it says it's gonna do.
242
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:17,939
Lincoln, you gave all these dogs
all your love and now you're
243
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,437
leaving me like, tight and dry.
244
00:10:19,537 --> 00:10:21,235
I'll kick it with you later.
Okay, cool.
245
00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:22,567
See you later, General Tso.
246
00:10:22,735 --> 00:10:23,798
Is that his name?
247
00:10:23,899 --> 00:10:25,130
Yeah, I name them based on
their personalities.
248
00:10:25,231 --> 00:10:28,327
There's General Tso,
there's Dumbface.
249
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,125
That's Ballsack,
250
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:33,388
and that is star
of "Ugly Betty"
251
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:34,952
and "Who's the Boss?"
252
00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:38,748
The wonderful, the esteemed...
253
00:10:38,849 --> 00:10:40,047
Judith Light!
254
00:10:40,214 --> 00:10:42,211
Oh, my God.
255
00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:43,509
She is!
256
00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:45,474
That's so Judith!
That is dead on!
257
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:46,540
All right,
I'll see y'all later.
258
00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:48,171
All right, peace.
Later, Judith.
259
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,002
Judith, now that I know that
you are Judith Light,
260
00:10:50,136 --> 00:10:52,200
I can't let you back
in that tiny-ass apartment.
261
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:53,665
We'll drop these bitches off
262
00:10:53,765 --> 00:10:56,062
and you're chilling with me all day.
263
00:11:02,956 --> 00:11:04,396
Last stop in Manhattan.
264
00:11:04,453 --> 00:11:06,550
The train will now be going
express to 37th Street.
265
00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:07,815
Sorry.
266
00:11:08,848 --> 00:11:09,846
Oh.
267
00:11:09,981 --> 00:11:11,412
All right.
268
00:12:10,179 --> 00:12:12,975
Uh, hello...
269
00:12:13,076 --> 00:12:14,406
Garol.
270
00:12:14,508 --> 00:12:16,109
I'm not sure if I'm in
the right place...
271
00:12:16,139 --> 00:12:19,001
You are. Okay.
272
00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,700
I'll just hand that...
All right.
273
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,726
Oh, Jesus.
274
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:27,758
Thank you so much.
275
00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:30,455
It took me so long... ID.
276
00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:32,186
Jeremy Santos.
277
00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:35,083
No, I'm not a man.
278
00:12:35,184 --> 00:12:39,312
Jeremy's actually my...
he's my husband.
279
00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:40,244
So.
280
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:41,376
We both work so much.
281
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:42,508
You know how it is.
282
00:12:42,676 --> 00:12:44,439
But when we're home,
we're home and we...
283
00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:48,601
I need his ID or he can
come down here
284
00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:52,330
with two pieces of
mail with his name on it.
285
00:12:52,431 --> 00:12:56,792
Gar... ol, you seem like,
so great.
286
00:12:56,892 --> 00:12:59,355
I can just tell
from this interaction.
287
00:12:59,457 --> 00:13:01,853
Can you just like, look
the other way this time?
288
00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:04,184
I'm sorry, I can't.
289
00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,614
My supervisor's watching.
290
00:13:10,477 --> 00:13:13,273
I'm sorry, I will have someone
there right away.
291
00:13:13,374 --> 00:13:14,971
Linda Lodi Temp Agency,
please hold.
292
00:13:15,073 --> 00:13:17,002
Hey. Where have you been?
293
00:13:17,103 --> 00:13:19,033
I've got no temps sent out,
I've got the phone ringing
294
00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:20,798
off the hook, I'm getting
threatening e-mails.
295
00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:22,762
My scalp is burning.
296
00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:25,326
What are you doing?
297
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:26,541
Have you been eating those?
298
00:13:26,592 --> 00:13:28,123
Yeah. How many have you had?
299
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,021
30 or like, 100.
300
00:13:30,121 --> 00:13:32,118
30 or 100?
301
00:13:32,286 --> 00:13:35,049
These are for a guess-
how-many contest!
302
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:36,471
Well, you should
label every side.
303
00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:38,561
Well, now I have to count
the whole thing over again.
304
00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:39,772
I don't believe this.
305
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:41,284
You don't even know
how many you had?
306
00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:43,938
Jesus, what a day.
307
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,102
One, two, three, four, five.
308
00:13:46,203 --> 00:13:47,701
Ten. Six, seven,
eight, nine, 10.
309
00:13:47,802 --> 00:13:51,530
15... five, six, seven, eight, nine...
17, 18...
310
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:52,529
You're messing me up.
311
00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:54,693
Now I have to start over.
312
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,823
One, two, three, four, five.
313
00:13:57,823 --> 00:14:00,353
Oh, my God, I killed her!
314
00:14:00,488 --> 00:14:02,684
Judith Light!
315
00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:04,848
59, 60.
316
00:14:08,911 --> 00:14:10,109
Hello? Bevers.
317
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:12,739
I need you to steal two pieces
of Jeremy's mail from like,
318
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,070
the front hall and bring them
to North Brother Island
319
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,868
like, immediately, okay?
320
00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:18,532
And then you're going to
have to pretend to be him.
321
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,131
I'd love to,
but I'm actually out
322
00:14:20,231 --> 00:14:21,862
with some friends right now.
323
00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:23,194
You're not in the apartment?
324
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,659
No, we're on the same schedule.
325
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,457
If you're not there,
I'm not there.
326
00:14:26,558 --> 00:14:28,388
When you're there, I'm there.
327
00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:29,820
Okay, just shut up, listen.
328
00:14:29,921 --> 00:14:33,415
If you do this for me
right now, I'm gonna...
329
00:14:33,516 --> 00:14:36,912
I will buy you a
Costco rotisserie chicken.
330
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:38,177
Uh, sold.
331
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,574
I'll head over as soon
as I finish my mimosa.
332
00:14:40,675 --> 00:14:42,006
Okay.
333
00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:43,571
Jesus Christ.
334
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:47,865
Hi.
335
00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:49,297
Oh, my God, Judith.
336
00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:51,429
We induced vomiting,
he's gonna be fine.
337
00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:52,860
He? Yeah.
338
00:14:52,962 --> 00:14:53,926
Oh, my God.
339
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,957
I looked for his dick forever.
340
00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:57,189
All that hair.
341
00:14:57,289 --> 00:15:00,052
Well, he's probably
stressed from the day.
342
00:15:00,153 --> 00:15:02,050
Do you guys have dog Xanax?
343
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,448
For him, Judith Light.
344
00:15:03,549 --> 00:15:05,309
We do, but I don't think
it's necessary. Cool.
345
00:15:05,347 --> 00:15:07,877
If I wrapped it up in a piece
of cheese for him to eat
346
00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:10,873
and then I accidentally
swallowed that piece of cheese,
347
00:15:10,974 --> 00:15:14,169
would I die or
be like, super chill?
348
00:15:14,337 --> 00:15:16,401
I'm not going to prescribe
you dog Xanax.
349
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:17,865
Oh, no.
350
00:15:17,966 --> 00:15:19,164
No, I didn't mean... No.
351
00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:21,661
I see how... No, no, no.
352
00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:22,693
Cool.
353
00:15:22,794 --> 00:15:25,090
One last quick "Q."
354
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:28,587
Um, are human hemorrhoids
the same as dog hemorrhoids,
355
00:15:28,687 --> 00:15:31,850
and if so, does dog
hemorrhoid cream work
356
00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:34,413
on human buttholes?
357
00:15:38,743 --> 00:15:40,339
No.
358
00:15:43,271 --> 00:15:45,167
Yeah, I got here
as soon as I could.
359
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:46,999
How did you get a cab
to come here?
360
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:50,029
The Whitestone Bridge
is right over there.
361
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:51,227
Okay, come on, let's go.
362
00:15:51,362 --> 00:15:53,691
Do you have 70 bucks
to pay the driver?
363
00:15:55,457 --> 00:15:57,554
Remember, you're my husband,
Jeremy Santos.
364
00:15:57,687 --> 00:15:58,319
Right.
365
00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,751
Got it.
366
00:15:59,886 --> 00:16:03,680
I'm not your roommate's
boyfriend, I'm your husband.
367
00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:05,178
Don't worry.
368
00:16:05,279 --> 00:16:06,444
I'll do it good. Okay.
369
00:16:06,544 --> 00:16:09,341
But don't tell Melody.
Tell Melody what?
370
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:14,500
Oh, God.
371
00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:19,362
That was a great...
372
00:16:19,496 --> 00:16:21,293
that was a great kiss
from my husband.
373
00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:22,558
Garol, hi.
374
00:16:22,693 --> 00:16:25,888
So this is Jeremy, my husband
I told you about earlier.
375
00:16:26,022 --> 00:16:29,284
You're Jeremy Santos.
376
00:16:29,385 --> 00:16:31,515
No, I'm Matty Bevers.
377
00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:36,243
No, Abbi, don't!
378
00:16:36,377 --> 00:16:38,308
No, no, no, I'm gonna
lose a flip flop!
379
00:16:38,408 --> 00:16:40,638
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
380
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:41,938
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
381
00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:44,267
No, no, no, no!
382
00:16:44,368 --> 00:16:48,529
Chicken!
383
00:16:51,626 --> 00:16:53,490
Oh... hey.
384
00:16:53,624 --> 00:16:55,754
You know, it's really not cool
to have such a big dog
385
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:57,286
in such a
tiny apartment all day.
386
00:16:57,387 --> 00:16:59,650
It's irresponsible,
to tell you the truth.
387
00:16:59,751 --> 00:17:01,748
That is not my dog. Hmm?
388
00:17:01,881 --> 00:17:04,311
My dog is a teacup Yorkie
named Cherish.
389
00:17:04,412 --> 00:17:07,607
Where is Cherish? Huh, right.
390
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:10,638
If the Yorkie belongs here, then
the retriever should have gone
391
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,635
to the place
above the liquor store.
392
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:16,830
I see what I did.
393
00:17:16,998 --> 00:17:18,529
This is so me, dude.
394
00:17:18,695 --> 00:17:20,659
All the dogs are off by one.
395
00:17:20,794 --> 00:17:21,758
Oh, my God.
396
00:17:21,893 --> 00:17:23,257
The Chihuahua should
be the in the loft.
397
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,620
Which means you should be
in Chinatown, Judith Light.
398
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:27,751
Oh, man.
399
00:17:27,886 --> 00:17:29,716
No worries, dude,
Cherish is totally fine.
400
00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:31,846
She's just in a tenement
building on Avenue D.
401
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:34,643
I'll have her back in one...
closer to three hours.
402
00:17:37,674 --> 00:17:40,171
Cherish!
403
00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:45,397
No, Mom, it was good.
404
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,896
Yeah, it was good.
405
00:17:47,030 --> 00:17:50,558
I actually drew today, all day.
406
00:17:50,659 --> 00:17:51,891
I gotta go... I love you.
407
00:17:52,024 --> 00:17:53,355
Okay, talk to you later, bye.
408
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:55,819
Abbi, it's fine.
409
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,751
I just think
you owe me an apology.
410
00:17:57,852 --> 00:17:58,883
Are you kidding me?
411
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:00,014
You owe me an apology.
412
00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:02,679
Well, you did ruin
a perfectly good chicken.
413
00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:04,510
It's a rotisserie chicken.
414
00:18:04,643 --> 00:18:07,173
You can get one anywhere. What
does it matter how it's prepared?
415
00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:08,338
You know what, Bevers?
416
00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:09,803
You need to like,
just shut up right now
417
00:18:09,904 --> 00:18:11,184
because I can't even
handle this.
418
00:18:11,336 --> 00:18:13,666
You got me to commit
a federal offense today.
419
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:17,029
We borrowed neighbor's mail
to go get a neighbor's package.
420
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,327
You were not a good kisser.
421
00:18:18,462 --> 00:18:20,725
You messed up
my entire thing today.
422
00:18:20,826 --> 00:18:23,122
I think we should talk.
We're talking right now.
423
00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:25,419
I think what needs to
happen is you need to go home
424
00:18:25,554 --> 00:18:27,250
'cause you don't live here.
What?
425
00:18:27,351 --> 00:18:29,048
You need to
grab all your little flip flops
426
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,146
and all your socks
and you need to get out.
427
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,542
Jesus, what?
428
00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:36,573
Whoa. Jeremy.
429
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:38,238
Okay, I don't have the package.
430
00:18:38,405 --> 00:18:39,336
I don't have it.
431
00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:41,134
They came here and then
I wasn't here and then
432
00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:42,833
I had to go to
the island to get it
433
00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:44,531
and there was this woman there
and she was eating all this
434
00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:46,096
yogurt and she
wouldn't give it to me 'cause
435
00:18:46,197 --> 00:18:47,361
I didn't have your ID.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
436
00:18:47,462 --> 00:18:49,892
I don't have an ID of yours.
It's okay.
437
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:51,290
I'm sorry. It's not her fault.
438
00:18:51,457 --> 00:18:52,455
It's mine.
439
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,453
I didn't get the door
when the delivery came.
440
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:57,849
Abbi actually tried really hard
to get your package today.
441
00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,547
Abbi, I didn't mean for you
to go through so much trouble.
442
00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:00,713
It's no big deal.
443
00:19:00,813 --> 00:19:04,175
Listen, man, I'm going to
be here all day tomorrow
444
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,073
and the day after that,
all day.
445
00:19:06,174 --> 00:19:07,837
Day after that, all day.
446
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:10,568
So I can sign for
your package, no problem.
447
00:19:10,702 --> 00:19:12,299
Fantastic, man,
I appreciate that.
448
00:19:12,434 --> 00:19:15,295
I owe you dinner, okay? Oh,
you don't... Yeah, okay.
449
00:19:15,397 --> 00:19:18,426
It'll be fun. I got a lot of
planks I gotta unload, so...
450
00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:19,824
All right. But I'll
see you guys later?
451
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:20,956
Yeah. Okay.
452
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,688
Just whenever.
453
00:19:26,418 --> 00:19:28,148
I thought he would never leave.
454
00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,879
Ooh.
455
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:32,676
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
456
00:19:32,777 --> 00:19:34,907
Thank God you got this
toilet paper, Abbi.
457
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,871
Ooh...
458
00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:39,469
Oh, I totally missed, Abbi!
459
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:40,700
Oh!
460
00:19:43,232 --> 00:19:44,630
The graphics are sick.
461
00:19:44,731 --> 00:19:45,861
You can really see like,
the life
462
00:19:45,996 --> 00:19:48,459
drain out of the guy's
eyes... It's pretty cool.
463
00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:50,823
I'd love to come over and
play sometime. I wish.
464
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,620
Abbi really doesn't like it
when I have friends over.
465
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,817
I'll come to your place?
Absolutely.
466
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:58,014
I'll make my special
rotisserie chicken.
467
00:19:58,148 --> 00:19:59,812
21 seasonings salute.
468
00:19:59,913 --> 00:20:00,911
Dude.
469
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:02,476
How are you still single?
470
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:05,006
It's just hard to meet
girls in this city.
471
00:20:05,174 --> 00:20:07,237
Dude, you gotta know
someone you can set me up with.
472
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,599
You know what?
473
00:20:13,731 --> 00:20:16,260
No, I don't.
474
00:20:16,394 --> 00:20:17,392
Sorry.
475
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,318
So this mole has grown like, 10
times bigger in the last year.
476
00:20:24,419 --> 00:20:25,950
Should I be worried? Please.
477
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,113
There's a cat I need
to put to sleep.
478
00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:30,377
Okay, but could you just
touch it really quickly?
479
00:20:30,512 --> 00:20:32,175
Am I thin?
480
00:20:32,276 --> 00:20:33,241
Like, for a dog?
481
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:35,738
Well, the cat's dead.
482
00:20:35,838 --> 00:20:37,137
Let's do this.
483
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,667
Wow, these hemorrhoids
really are bad.
484
00:20:39,768 --> 00:20:40,799
I know.
485
00:20:40,967 --> 00:20:42,830
I spend way too much
time on the toilet.
486
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:43,962
Thanks.
487
00:20:44,063 --> 00:20:45,394
You know, I just can't
even control myself.
488
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,825
Well, this should do the trick.
489
00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:48,590
Now remember, no scratching.
490
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,487
Thanks again.