1
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:58,404
Hold on, I gotta come up!
2
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,708
I've gotta take
the world's biggest fucking piss.
3
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,645
We can't be late!
4
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,308
We won't!
5
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,235
Who's... who's holding?
6
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:30,936
If you 're not, then nobody.
7
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,739
We were kind of hoping you were.
8
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,303
- Yeah. How are you not holding?
- Jesus Christ, Shanna.
9
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,475
It is not my fucking job to supply y'all
with weed when we go out.
10
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,746
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, little lady.
11
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,811
You 're gettin' angry kind of quick,
don't you think?
12
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,083
I was just teasin' you!
13
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,590
I'm not angry.
It just would be nice
14
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,388
if y'all didn't just count on me
all the fucking time
15
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:51,294
and surprise me
every once in a while with pot.
16
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,332
Okay, mean girl
in a high school movie.
17
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,764
Are you through
having a tantrum?
18
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,028
I'm not having a tantrum.
19
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,366
Yes, you are. You 've been
in the car all of two seconds,
20
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,598
and you 're already cursing at me.
21
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,435
I am not cursing at you.
22
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:05,603
You said "Jesus Christ, Shanna,"
23
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,168
and then before
the sentence was over
24
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,114
you threw a "fucking" in there
to emphasize your irritatedness.
25
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,515
Come on, don't fight.
I'll pay for it when we get some.
26
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,612
One, it is not about the money.
It is about the pain in the ass of scoring.
27
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,850
And two, we're not really fighting.
28
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:22,588
Arlene, you 've forgotten what
hanging out with Jungle Julia is like.
29
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,890
That wasn't a fight.
30
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,523
That was Julia
acting like a grumpy bitch
31
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:30,467
and me calling her on it
and indulging her at the same time.
32
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:33,528
That's how we tolerate each other
after all these years.
33
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,595
Oh! Billboard!
34
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,946
So, what's the plan, man?
35
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,982
Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's.
36
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,914
Did you call Rafael
and tell him we're coming?
37
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,417
- Of course.
- You 're so good.
38
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,680
I know.
39
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,222
Okay, is Christian Simonson
gonna be there?
40
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,952
You bet your ass he is...
with Jesse Letterman.
41
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,052
Christian Simonson,
the filmmaker, is in town.
42
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,562
He's got a big thing for Julia.
43
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,894
If he had a big thing for me,
he'd fucking call me,
44
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,627
as opposed to disappearing
for six months,
45
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,965
and he'd get his ass down here
more often than he does.
46
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,767
And on my birthday
he'd give me a fucking phone call.
47
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,033
Oh, billboard!
48
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,211
Yeah, but you get
those legs of yours around him,
49
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,342
and it's all over.
50
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,980
Yeah, well, when I'm redecorating
his house in the hills that I am also living in,
51
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,523
I'll let you know it worked.
52
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,150
So, margaritas
and Mexican food at Guero's,
53
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,194
touch base with Chris and Jesse,
tell them about later,
54
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,355
and make damn sure they come.
55
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:34,594
Those other guys'll be waiting for us
at the Texas Chili Parlor.
56
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,125
Oh, shit. Speaking of which...
57
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,001
what happened
with you and Nate last night?
58
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,769
Well, you know, not much.
We just fucking met each other.
59
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,675
If you don't bust their balls a little bit,
they're never gonna respect you.
60
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,111
Okay, we're pretty clear
on what it is you didn 't do.
61
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,376
How about enlightening us
on what it is you did do?
62
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,475
Oh, nothing to write home about.
63
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,952
We just made out on the couch
for about 20 minutes.
64
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,511
Dressed, half-dressed, or naked?
65
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,319
Dressed. I said we made out.
We didn't do "the thing."
66
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:02,793
Oh, excuse me for living,
but what is "the thing"?
67
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,693
You know, it's everything but.
68
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,493
They call that "the thing"?
69
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,124
I call it "the thing."
70
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,158
Do guys like "the thing"?
71
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:11,931
They like it better than "no thing."
72
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,207
Okay, I wanna get back
to what it is you did do.
73
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,833
So you 're making out
on the couch with Nate, right?
74
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:18,899
Correct.
75
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,468
Whose couch?
His or the one in your hotel room?
76
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,980
What am I, stupid over here? Mine.
77
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,074
Were you making out
sitting up or lying down?
78
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,585
We started sitting up,
we worked our way to lying down.
79
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:30,747
Hmm. The plot thickens.
Who was on top?
80
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,654
I was straddling him.
81
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,448
What else?
82
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:37,496
That was it. So we made out
for a little while on the couch...
83
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:42,364
and I said, "Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now,
so it's time for you to leave."
84
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,199
And then he starts to whine,
"Oh, right now?"
85
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,365
And I said,
"Yup, right now. Let's go."
86
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:51,001
And he says, "Wait, what about this?"
And I said no.
87
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,011
He said, "What do you mean?
You don't know what I'm gonna say."
88
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,207
I said, "I already know what you 're
gonna say, and the answer's no."
89
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,977
He said, "Well, how can you say
you know what I'm gonna say?"
90
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,575
And I said, "Because you 're gonna say,
'Let's just go to sleep together.
91
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,950
'We don't gotta do nothing.
92
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,080
'Just cuddle,
sleep next to each other,
93
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,022
wake up in the morning together."'
94
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,459
"No. You 're gonna leave...
but I'll see you tomorrow."
95
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:10,791
Yeah, fuck Nate.
96
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:11,887
I mean, he's cute and all,
97
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,899
but Jesse Letterman
is gonna be all over her.
98
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:18,300
Remember...
no hookin' up tonight.
99
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,932
You can hang out with them,
you can make out with them,
100
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,999
but no hookin' up with them,
101
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:27,409
because we are driving
to Lake L.B.J. tonight,
102
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,448
and my daddy's pretty clear
about one thing...
103
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:34,612
He said, "I am lettin' you
and your girlfriends stay at my lake house,
104
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:38,817
not you and a bunch of horny boys
trying to get their fuck on with my daughter."
105
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,223
- Your dad talks like that?
- Hell yeah.
106
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,558
And it's not like
he ain't gonna know, either,
107
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,258
because when I'm staying at the lake house
with my girlfriends in our bikinis,
108
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:51,394
Daddy just has a tendency to pop up
and make sure we don't need anything.
109
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:56,468
Look, he's totally harmless
and cute as a bug's ear!
110
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,238
But you know, when he's got
a bunch of half-naked poontang
111
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,610
walking the floor of his lake house,
112
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:05,082
he just likes to pay us a visit
and make sure we got everything we need.
113
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,709
And if you flirt shamelessly with him,
114
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,346
like the six-foot baby giraffe
in the backseat,
115
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,447
you got a puppy dog for life.
116
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,082
I have my own relationship with Ben,
117
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,059
and you 're just jealous
'cause it don't include you.
118
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:16,424
You call her dad "Ben"?
119
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,828
I'm not a child.
That's his name.
120
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,866
So, when are the boys
showing up?
121
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,094
They're gonna meet us
at the Chili Parlor.
122
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,693
Maybe they can bring some pot.
123
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,237
Fuck that. No.
124
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,603
I don't wanna be either A,
depending on their fucking ass,
125
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,107
or B, depending on their ass.
126
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,438
Uh-uh. If we don't score ourselves,
127
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,139
we're gonna be stuck with them
all fucking night.
128
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:36,340
Ooh! Try Lanna-Frank.
129
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,110
Best idea you had all day.
130
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,210
Oh, hey! That's your
last billboard before Guero's!
131
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,278
Oh, come on, give me a break.
132
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,950
Oh, come on, my ass!
We said every time.
133
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,049
Okay.
134
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,332
##
135
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,302
Jules, let me get a drag.
136
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,638
Thanks.
137
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:36,430
Oh, my God.
138
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,710
Hey, this is...
and I's U.T. days, Arlene.
139
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,768
Hey.
140
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,440
- You wanna join us?
- For a second, but I'm with some friends.
141
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,482
Ooh...
142
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,712
So, you must be... must be...
143
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,585
So, you must be
the infamous Butterfly.
144
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,884
Shh!
145
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,858
She don't know nothing about it.
146
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,757
- Know about what?
- When were y'all gonna tell her?
147
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:56,920
- Soon.
- Tell me what?
148
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,726
Yeah, now thanks to you,
we've gotta tell her sooner than later.
149
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,391
All right, cut the shit.
What the fuck is going on?
150
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:04,129
I said a little something-something
about you on the air today.
151
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,398
Julia, what the fuck
did you say about me on the radio?
152
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:09,908
All I said was I had
a sexy friend named Butterfly
153
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,001
who was in from out-of-town
for the weekend,
154
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,706
and we would be going out
somewhere in Austin tonight,
155
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,180
and if they were out on the town,
maybe they'd see us.
156
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:21,845
And I described you, and I said
that if they spotted you while we were out,
157
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,890
if they'd do something,
you 'd do something.
158
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,254
Okay, now, Julia, I'm serious.
159
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:28,725
What did you say
and what did you say I'd do?
160
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:32,730
Anywho, I could explain what I said,
which would be boring,
161
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,460
or Marcy over here,
162
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:38,094
who is an incredible actress,
could act it out for you,
163
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:42,266
which I think will give you a better idea
what you have in store for you tonight.
164
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,400
Okay, so just tell me your way.
165
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,468
- So we'll act it out with Marcy?
- Sure.
166
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,740
Okay, give Marcy your drink.
167
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,440
Okay, so you 're
in a club or a bar,
168
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:56,579
and Marcy's a kind of cute
or kind of hot or kind of sexy
169
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,385
or better be
fucking hysterically funny,
170
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:01,187
but not-funny-looking guy
who you could fuck.
171
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,488
Got it.
172
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,324
Okay, Marcy, take it.
173
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,436
Howdy.
174
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,805
Hi, there.
175
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,572
Excuse me, but...
176
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,704
your name wouldn't be
"Butterfly," would it?
177
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:25,683
Yes, it is, and it seems
you have me at a disadvantage.
178
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,184
Barry.
179
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,948
Pleased to meet you, Barry.
180
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,488
Y'all are gettin' me hot!
181
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:31,682
Shh!
182
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:39,024
So is, uh...
"Butterfly" your real name?
183
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,827
Yes, it is.
184
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,834
And how'd you know
my name, Barry?
185
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,700
I listened to Jungle Julia's show
this mornin'.
186
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:46,897
Oh, you did, did you?
187
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,304
Oh, yeah, I listen to her show
every morning.
188
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,400
Oh, you do, do you?
189
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:54,469
Yeah, she's like
the coolest lady in town.
190
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,015
Don't you think
she's got a big ass?
191
00:11:57,083 --> 00:12:00,484
Nah, man!
I like her ass that way.
192
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,521
She got a black girl's ass.
193
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,249
Well, that's what she always says,
194
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:07,190
but in actual fact, she doesn't
really have a black girl's ass.
195
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,250
She's got a big ass.
196
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:10,727
Okay, what the fuck
are you doing?
197
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,661
Look who wants
to get to the point all of a sudden.
198
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,926
Okay, we'll get to the point,
199
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,899
but for your information,
skinny bitch,
200
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:19,062
black men and a whole lot
of motherfuckin' white men
201
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,698
have had plenty of fun
adoring my ass.
202
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,902
I don't wear their teeth marks
on my butt for nothing.
203
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,411
If you 're not gonna buy me a drink,
can I have mine back?
204
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,846
No, okay, okay, okay, okay.
205
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,246
So, Butterfly...
206
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,807
can I buy you a drink?
207
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,216
I'd love one.
208
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:35,275
What can I get ya?
209
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,946
I'll take a margarita.
210
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:39,449
Here ya go.
211
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,627
So, after they buy you a drink
212
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,095
when they raise
their glass to toast,
213
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:50,158
they look you dead in the eye
and repeat this poem...
214
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:54,605
"The woods are lovely,
dark and deep
215
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:59,838
And I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep."
216
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,777
Did you hear me, Butterfly?
217
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,816
"Miles to go before you sleep."
218
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:08,513
And then, if they say that...
219
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,186
you gotta give 'em a lap dance.
220
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:12,884
What?
221
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,449
If they call you "Butterfly,"
buy you a drink, repeat that poem,
222
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,517
you gotta give 'em a lap dance.
223
00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:18,495
That's bullshit.
I ain't giving them nothin'.
224
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,191
Well, you can do it or not,
but if you don't,
225
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,564
everybody in Austin
is gonna think you a chicken shit.
226
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,159
And I don't think you want
everybody in Austin
227
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,760
thinking you 're a chicken shit.
228
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,999
I ain't giving nobody no lap dance
'cause of what you said.
229
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,098
Oh, come on!
It's gonna be funny!
230
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,940
Yeah, everything's funny to you two
when it's happening to me.
231
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:36,209
Look. You don't have to do it
for anybody you don't want.
232
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,250
I said you 'd do it
for the first guy who says it.
233
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,343
So, some geek comes over
trying to be cool,
234
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,321
just tell him you already did it
at another place earlier.
235
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:48,121
No harm, no foul,
but you get a free drink out of it.
236
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,754
But maybe a little later
in the evening,
237
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,354
you 've had a few drinks,
238
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:54,626
you 're kind of loosey-goosey,
239
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,497
you 're safe with your girls,
240
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,299
then some kind of cute,
kind of hot, kind of sexy,
241
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:03,171
hysterically funny, but not-funny-looking guy
comes up and says it...
242
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:07,338
then maybe you did it earlier,
maybe you didn't.
243
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,410
She's making me trip.
244
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:18,923
Shut the fuck up.
You made me trip, dumb bitch!
245
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,964
You fuckin' idiot!
246
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,859
##
247
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,992
# Baby #
248
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:25,253
# It doesn 't matter
what they say #
249
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:28,885
# I know I' m gonna love you
any old way #
250
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:35,230
# What can I do without you? #
251
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:40,796
# Don 't want nobody. nobody #
252
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:44,036
# Baby. it's you #
253
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,844
# Baby. it's you #
254
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:54,517
# Don 't leave me alone #
255
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,622
# Come on home #
256
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:04,420
# Baby. it's you #
257
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,866
# Baby. it's you... #
258
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,899
Any dead soldiers here?
259
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,997
Uh, these two. Thank you.
260
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,367
Where the hell is Lanna-Frank?
261
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:21,538
That's a good fucking question.
262
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,353
Lanna-Frank!
263
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,549
Where are you?
264
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,590
Well, come over already.
We're waiting for you.
265
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,930
- ##
- Shit! Hold on!
266
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,706
So, where are you?
267
00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,908
Come over already.
We're waiting for you.
268
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,945
No. We're not coming over there.
269
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,185
You come over here
like you said you would.
270
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,250
So, is it Shauna and the girls
at the lake house this weekend?
271
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,796
- Shauna?
- Oh, fuck. l...
272
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,853
No.
273
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:15,866
Now, there is one thing
that every girl in the whole world
274
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,767
whose name is Shanna
has in common with each other.
275
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,395
We all hate the name "Shauna,"
276
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,906
and we really hate it
when people call us "Shauna."
277
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,374
Just remember...
278
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,109
it's "Shanna Banana,"
not "Shauna Banauna."
279
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:07,380
Okay, but at some point in the evening,
I had fuckability stock.
280
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:10,786
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't bullish, but...
281
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,479
##
282
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:41,542
Okay... Warren's sending over shots,
and you know the house rules.
283
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,316
If he sends over shots,
you gotta do them.
284
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,755
- What?
- Hey, them's the rules, baby.
285
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:50,352
- Warren says it, we do it!
I love that philosophy!
286
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,829
"Warren says it, we do it."
287
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,866
So let's do it!
288
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:55,991
What is it?
289
00:18:56,068 --> 00:19:00,027
Hey, shot first, questions later.
Here we go. Post time!
290
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:02,503
Mmm!
291
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,434
Whoo-hoo!
292
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,882
Now, is that a tasty beverage
or is that a tasty beverage?
293
00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:15,214
What the fuck is it?!
294
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,879
Chartreuse.
295
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:20,152
The only liquor so good
they named a color after it.
296
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,619
Who's down for dos Chartreuse?
297
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,959
Not me.
298
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:27,828
I'm going out for a smoke.
299
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,300
Okay, but careful where you keep
that hot flame, all right?
300
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:31,893
You 'll blow up the joint.
301
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,404
##
302
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,615
Drinks.
What can we get you?
303
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:47,777
Shanna Banana?
304
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,413
Another big-ass
Long Island iced tea.
305
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,458
Bombay Sapphire
and tonic with no ice.
306
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,254
Good boy.
307
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:17,938
Oh, hey, Punky.
308
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:20,780
Uh, one of the lights
is off in the parking lot. Flip it.
309
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,851
- Oh! Jesus Christ!
- Whoa-ho!
310
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,083
You scared the fuck out of me,
you shitty asshole!
311
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:02,683
I swear, Arlene.
I was not trying to scare you.
312
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,592
I just... got lucky.
313
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,460
Oh, hardee-fucking-har.
314
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:07,862
- Let's go inside.
- Wait a minute.
315
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,800
- Why?
- I was thinkin' we could make out.
316
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:11,858
What, on a porch?
317
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,802
Not even in the bar,
but in front of the entrance?
318
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,897
- Forget it.
- No, in my car.
319
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,568
What, out there?
It's wet as fucking 'Nam out there.
320
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,236
Not in my car it's not.
321
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,871
Look, you won't get wet.
322
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,109
I promise you.
323
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:29,577
You know, most guys
wouldn't brag about that.
324
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:31,384
Ha ha ha.
325
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,253
I mean...
you know what I mean.
326
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,316
Look, I know you guys
are going to Lake L.B.J.
327
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:36,725
and we can't come.
328
00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:39,488
I wanna make out...
329
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:42,362
Okay, just stop with the whining.
It's not attractive.
330
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,342
I don't want it super fucking obvious
to everybody in the bar we've been gone,
331
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:56,006
- so we'll make out for six minutes, deal?
- Great.
332
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:57,378
No, no, no.
Deal or no deal?
333
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,644
If you 're gonna whine
when I pull the plug in six minutes,
334
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,016
we could just walk back
inside the fucking bar right now.
335
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:03,645
- Deal. No whining.
- And no begging.
336
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,156
And no begging.
When you say "done," it's done.
337
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:08,192
I'm gonna remember
you said that.
338
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,420
Okay, let's go.
339
00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:15,663
Oh, you got two jobs... kiss good
and make sure my hair don't get wet.
340
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:28,302
##
341
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,953
# It was early. early one morning #
342
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,085
# When I heard my bulldog bark #
343
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:46,426
# It was Staggolee and Billy Lyons #
344
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:48,489
# Squabblin ' in the dark... #
345
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,127
Now, look, you can't look like
you 're trying to get her out of here
346
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:52,568
before Christian Simonson shows up,
347
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:55,265
but you 've got to get her out of here
before Christian Simonson shows up.
348
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:56,329
Yeah, but what's the point?
349
00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:58,376
They're going to Shanna's
daddy's house at Lake L.B.J.,
350
00:22:58,443 --> 00:22:59,603
and it's no guys.
351
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:01,236
Absolutely no guys.
352
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,907
Okay. So after we bring
the girls' drinks,
353
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:08,715
in fairly rapid order, but not obvious,
we order two more rounds of shots.
354
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:11,255
You think they're gonna fall for that?
355
00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,814
We'll be very convincing.
356
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,521
Now it's time to turn up the volume.
No more fucking around.
357
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,153
We go to Jäger shots.
358
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,390
Man, they're not gonna drink Jäger shots.
359
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:22,956
Dude, as long as
a guy's buying the booze,
360
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,059
a fucking bitch
will drink anything.
361
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:26,468
Come on, dude, we can
at least get one shot of Jäger
362
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,199
down these
fucking bitches' throats.
363
00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:30,366
After that, we'll see if they get
another Jäger shot in them.
364
00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:31,431
You never know.
365
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:33,910
That could be the shot
that puts them past the point of "fuck it."
366
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,776
Then all of a sudden
"no guys at the lake house"
367
00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:37,781
turns into a couple of guys
at the lake house.
368
00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:39,316
My point exactly.
369
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,511
And I know I can at least get
"Shanna Suck-my-banana"
370
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:44,282
to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot.
What's Julia's sweet shot?
371
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:46,951
- Key Lime Pie.
- Oh, come on, dude.
372
00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:49,357
Even fucking Leroy Brown
would do one more for dessert.
373
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,693
Dude, check it out.
374
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,825
I wonder if B.J.
brought the bear with him.
375
00:23:59,337 --> 00:24:00,531
Jesus.
376
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:06,606
Dude fucking cut himself
falling out of his time machine.
377
00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:11,078
Hi, could I get a chicken suit
for Stroker Ace, please?
378
00:24:12,317 --> 00:24:15,445
# See the hole
I shot in his head #
379
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,353
# The high sheriff
told the deputy #
380
00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:21,415
# Get your pistols
and come with me #
381
00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:24,894
# We got to go arrest
a bad man #
382
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,261
# Known as Staggolee... #
383
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:33,828
# They laid them on the shelf
384
00:24:33,905 --> 00:24:36,931
# If you want
that bad man Staggolee #
385
00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:40,307
# You 'll have to arrest him yourself
386
00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:42,972
# The high sheriff
asked the bartender... #
387
00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:45,107
And where did you two disappear to?
388
00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:46,445
I had to get something
out of the car,
389
00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:49,749
and Nate was gentlemanly enough
to escort me with his umbrella.
390
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:51,686
Ah, good for you, Nate.
391
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:54,190
You see that pretty girl
sitting by herself at the bar?
392
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,622
Who, the dirty hippie?
393
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,528
Meow. She's not a hippie.
394
00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:01,725
She might as well be a hippie.
395
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:05,026
Thank you, Timmy boy.
396
00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:08,662
Well, do you know
what just happened to her?
397
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,504
No, but I know she's
a skinny, fake, blonde bitch.
398
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:16,640
Oh, I'm sorry.
You were telling a story?
399
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:17,704
What about her?
400
00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:21,578
Hey, Warren!
401
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:24,781
Is there anybody you could
vouch for to give me a ride home?
402
00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:29,886
Fair lady, your chariot awaits.
403
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,861
You 've been eavesdropping?
404
00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:34,592
There's eavesdropping
and "can't help but hear."
405
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,691
I think I belong
in the latter category.
406
00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:39,664
So, uh, Icy Hot.
407
00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:41,968
You 're offering me a ride home?
408
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,669
I'm offering you a lift if when
I'm ready to leave, you are, too.
409
00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:47,974
And when are you
thinking about leaving?
410
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:49,911
Truthfully,
I'm not thinking about it.
411
00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:53,983
But when I do,
you will be the first to know.
412
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,418
Will you be able
to, uh, drive later?
413
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,513
I know looks can be deceiving.
414
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:01,448
But I'm a teetotaler.
415
00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:03,653
I've been drinking
club soda and lime all night,
416
00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:05,719
and now I'm building up
to my big drink.
417
00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:10,097
- Which is what?
- Virgin piña colada.
418
00:26:10,936 --> 00:26:13,837
Okay. Why would
someone who doesn't drink
419
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:16,772
spend hours at a bar drinking water?
420
00:26:16,841 --> 00:26:20,504
You know, a bar offers
all kind of things other than alcohol.
421
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,070
Mmm. Really?
422
00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:24,513
Like what?
423
00:26:26,618 --> 00:26:27,744
Women.
424
00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:30,287
Nacho grande platters.
425
00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:32,915
The fellowship
of some fascinating individuals,
426
00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:34,083
like Warren here.
427
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:36,985
Alcohol is just a lubricant
428
00:26:37,062 --> 00:26:40,429
for all the individual
encounters that a barroom offers.
429
00:26:40,498 --> 00:26:42,966
Ooh. Is that cowboy wisdom?
430
00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:44,968
I'm not a cowboy, Pam.
431
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:47,631
I'm a stuntman.
432
00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:52,075
But that's a very
easy mistake to make.
433
00:26:52,143 --> 00:26:54,134
How do you know my name?
434
00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:57,340
When you were talking with Warren...
435
00:26:57,415 --> 00:26:58,746
couldn't help but overhear.
436
00:27:00,552 --> 00:27:01,541
Fair enough.
437
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,247
So what's your name, Icy?
438
00:27:04,589 --> 00:27:06,022
Stuntman Mike.
439
00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:08,549
Stuntman Mike's your name?
440
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,425
Tsk. You ask anybody.
441
00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:13,994
Hey, Warren.
442
00:27:14,065 --> 00:27:15,430
Who is this guy?
443
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,331
Stuntman Mike.
444
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,427
And who the hell
is Stuntman Mike?
445
00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:20,732
He's a stuntman.
446
00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:23,638
Warren! Six shots of Wild Turkey!
447
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:26,336
# I' ve just got to know #
448
00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:28,208
# Should I go leave #
449
00:27:28,913 --> 00:27:32,974
# And find somebody else #
450
00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:36,817
# You know I stood yesterday #
451
00:27:36,888 --> 00:27:38,253
Yeah!
452
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,312
##
453
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:40,551
Yeah!
454
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:44,651
Let's do 'em!
455
00:27:44,729 --> 00:27:46,390
Salud.
456
00:27:46,464 --> 00:27:48,193
Down the snatch.
457
00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:51,758
You know, Pam,
I think it's time for my big drink.
458
00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:56,400
Well, Stuntman Mike,
since I have a tab here,
459
00:27:56,474 --> 00:27:58,601
can I buy you that
virgin piña colada?
460
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,872
Thank you, Pam.
That'd be lovely.
461
00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:02,412
Warren!
462
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,608
A, uh, virgin piña colada
for my stuntman friend
463
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,312
and I'll have another
Cadillac Cabo Wabo margarita.
464
00:28:08,386 --> 00:28:10,115
Cabo Wabo, virgin.
465
00:28:27,238 --> 00:28:30,230
##
466
00:28:42,153 --> 00:28:44,621
# People. I' ve been misled #
467
00:28:46,157 --> 00:28:49,854
# And I' ve been afraid #
468
00:28:51,162 --> 00:28:54,029
# I' ve been hit in the head #
469
00:28:54,099 --> 00:28:57,159
# And left for days #
470
00:28:57,869 --> 00:29:00,235
# I' ve been abused #
471
00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:04,439
# And I' ve been accused #
472
00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:08,768
# I' ve been refused #
473
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,439
# A piece of bread... #
474
00:29:11,282 --> 00:29:14,080
- Ah!
- Hey, if it ain't Lanna-Frank.
475
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:15,414
Mwah.
476
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,818
- Hey, baby.
- How are you?
477
00:29:16,888 --> 00:29:18,185
- # In my life before #
- Hey, what's up?
478
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:19,518
Hey!
479
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:22,219
Hey, what's shakin', bacon?
480
00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:24,261
Hey.
481
00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:27,162
# Go wrong as I do today #
482
00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:30,201
- # I want you to stop... #
- Well, let's scootch over, now.
483
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,236
It's about fucking time.
484
00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:34,601
Well, beggars can't be choosers.
485
00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:37,299
Take a picture.
It lasts longer.
486
00:29:38,576 --> 00:29:39,736
What?
487
00:29:39,811 --> 00:29:40,937
That table.
488
00:29:41,012 --> 00:29:42,912
Seems to keep,
um, getting your attention.
489
00:29:42,981 --> 00:29:45,472
Is that the girl
from the billboard outside?
490
00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:46,539
Yep.
491
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:49,781
She sure is a striking-looking woman.
492
00:29:49,854 --> 00:29:51,788
It's got gin, tequila, Jäger...
493
00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:52,845
Look at that hair.
494
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:54,323
Lots of leave-in conditioner.
495
00:29:55,860 --> 00:29:57,851
Is that jealousy I detect?
496
00:29:57,929 --> 00:30:01,888
Hardly. But if you want
to get with, uh, Jungle Julia,
497
00:30:01,966 --> 00:30:03,797
there's a real easy way to do that.
498
00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:05,426
Really, what would that be?
499
00:30:05,503 --> 00:30:08,939
Get famous. You won't have
to find her... she'll find you.
500
00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:12,374
And you don't even want to know
what she did for that billboard.
501
00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:13,967
Enjoy it, cocksucker.
502
00:30:14,045 --> 00:30:15,478
You 've earned it.
503
00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:17,481
What did she ever do to you?
504
00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:20,211
We went to school together
from kindergarten through high school.
505
00:30:20,285 --> 00:30:22,219
That's what she did to me.
506
00:30:22,287 --> 00:30:24,881
She was her height right now at 12.
507
00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,787
She was a monster.
508
00:30:26,858 --> 00:30:30,760
Half the guys she still fucks
she used to terrorize in the fifth grade.
509
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,627
And she used to beat you up
and take your chocolate milk, huh?
510
00:30:33,698 --> 00:30:35,222
That pituitary case?
511
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:36,995
Might have kicked my ass
a couple of times...
512
00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,901
sorry, I'm built like a girl,
not a black man...
513
00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:43,634
but I'd die before I ever gave
Julia Lucai my chocolate milk.
514
00:31:15,273 --> 00:31:19,004
Hey! Are you
famous or somethin'?
515
00:31:19,077 --> 00:31:20,442
Or somethin'.
516
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:21,876
No, no, no. Really.
517
00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:24,878
Hey, what do... what do you do?
518
00:31:25,783 --> 00:31:27,080
Really?
519
00:31:27,151 --> 00:31:31,053
What I do is work my ass off to get
my own record label off the ground,
520
00:31:31,122 --> 00:31:35,616
but why that girl wanted a picture of me
is because I'm a local D.J.
521
00:31:38,096 --> 00:31:39,529
Wait a minute.
522
00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:44,359
You 've got a billboard
by Big Kahuna Burger, don't you?
523
00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:45,902
Yeah.
524
00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:48,370
I got one there, too, Zatoichi.
525
00:31:51,209 --> 00:31:52,437
Yeah.
526
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,737
Jungle Julia Lucai.
527
00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:57,747
Stuntman Mike McKay.
528
00:31:57,815 --> 00:31:59,180
Well.
529
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:02,344
Good to meet you, Stuntman Mike.
530
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:04,752
My friends and I are going
to continue to get our weed on.
531
00:32:04,822 --> 00:32:06,084
Would you care for some?
532
00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:07,590
Thank you, Julia,
533
00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:10,526
but just the same...
no thanks.
534
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,119
- Suit yourself.
- But you know...
535
00:32:22,206 --> 00:32:24,140
Oh, shit.
536
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:25,368
Ah! My God.
537
00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:29,339
Sorry. It's nothing.
538
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,316
What the fuck was that?
539
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,755
You got some voucher here.
540
00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:42,486
I asked him
what movies you worked on.
541
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,255
No fuckin' clue.
542
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:47,560
Well, technically I really don't know
if he's ever done anything for sure.
543
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:50,601
I mean, he shows me
an episode of High Chaparral.
544
00:32:50,668 --> 00:32:52,067
a guy falls off a horse,
545
00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:53,228
he says it's him.
546
00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:57,236
You know the show The Virginian?
547
00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:01,639
Yeah, well, there was another
actor on that show, Gary Clarke,
548
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,578
and I looked like him a bit...
549
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:06,811
well, obviously
before I cut myself shaving.
550
00:33:06,884 --> 00:33:08,852
Tsk. Aww, I like it.
551
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,152
Well, damn, if you ain't so sweet
you make sugar taste just like salt.
552
00:33:13,224 --> 00:33:16,660
Anyway, I did a lot of Virginians
doubling Gary Clarke.
553
00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:20,459
And, uh... then that show turned
into The Men of Shiloh.
554
00:33:20,531 --> 00:33:23,261
they brought on Lee Majors,
and I doubled him.
555
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:26,599
From that point on
I specialized mostly in car stunts.
556
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:30,232
Yeah, I did damn near
the whole third season of Vega$ .
557
00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:32,538
I was Robert Urich's driving double.
558
00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:35,477
And then Bob
did another show, Gavilan.
559
00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:38,037
and he brought me
with him on that, till...
560
00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:41,079
And after that...
561
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:48,623
Do you know any of these shows
or people I'm talkin' about?
562
00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:50,058
Sorry.
563
00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:51,117
- No?
- Mm-mm.
564
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:52,856
No, no.
565
00:33:55,433 --> 00:34:00,666
So how exactly does one
become a stuntman, Stuntman Mike?
566
00:34:02,907 --> 00:34:07,071
Well, in Hollywood, anybody fool enough
to throw himself down a flight of stairs
567
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:09,875
can usually find somebody
to pay him for it.
568
00:34:09,947 --> 00:34:13,576
But really I got into the business the way
most people get into the stunt business.
569
00:34:13,651 --> 00:34:14,913
How's that?
570
00:34:14,986 --> 00:34:17,477
- My brother got me in it.
- Well, who's your brother?
571
00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:18,920
Stuntman Bob.
572
00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:33,664
I'm ready to blaze!
573
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,605
Finally, yeah.
You need to catch up with us.
574
00:34:36,674 --> 00:34:38,938
- Now the party can start.
- Yep.
575
00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:42,343
Anywho, I'm sorry.
You forgive me?
576
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:48,081
But you have to be real nice to me
for the whole rest of the time I'm here.
577
00:34:48,152 --> 00:34:50,313
Promise.
You ready to go to the lake?
578
00:34:50,388 --> 00:34:51,377
Mm-hmm.
579
00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:54,220
- How about your friend, bring him?
- I thought no boys.
580
00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:56,522
If you really want him to come,
Shanna won't mind.
581
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,188
So how about it?
Boys or just us girls?
582
00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:00,958
Mmm, us girls.
583
00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:02,329
Good idea.
584
00:35:04,235 --> 00:35:05,327
Ladies?
585
00:35:07,705 --> 00:35:08,694
Thanks.
586
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:11,603
Cheers, Butterfly.
587
00:35:14,011 --> 00:35:18,311
"The woods are lovely,
dark, and deep...
588
00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:20,145
"And I have promises to keep,
589
00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:23,619
And miles to go
before I sleep."
590
00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:25,656
Did you hear me, Butterfly?
591
00:35:26,757 --> 00:35:30,659
"Miles to go
before you sleep."
592
00:35:32,563 --> 00:35:34,053
Sorry, Stuntman Burt...
593
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,292
Mike.
594
00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:36,763
Mike.
595
00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:38,825
She already broke off that dance.
596
00:35:38,903 --> 00:35:40,393
Is that true?
597
00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:44,667
Did I miss my chance?
598
00:35:47,411 --> 00:35:49,436
Do I frighten you?
599
00:35:53,885 --> 00:35:55,750
Is it my scar?
600
00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:59,651
It's your car.
601
00:35:59,724 --> 00:36:01,783
Ah, yeah, I know.
602
00:36:01,859 --> 00:36:04,020
Sorry.
603
00:36:04,095 --> 00:36:05,926
It's my mom's car.
604
00:36:08,366 --> 00:36:10,061
Have you been following us?
605
00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:12,830
No, but that's
what I love about Austin...
606
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:15,168
it's just so damn small.
607
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,867
- You 've seen this guy before?
- I saw him outside of Guero's.
608
00:36:17,942 --> 00:36:20,342
And I saw you outside Guero's, too.
609
00:36:21,646 --> 00:36:24,240
You saw my car,
I saw your legs.
610
00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:27,648
Now, look, I ain't stalking y'all,
but I didn't say I wasn't a wolf.
611
00:36:27,718 --> 00:36:29,686
So you really weren't following us?
612
00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:33,588
I'm not following you, Butterfly.
I just... got lucky.
613
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:40,160
So, how about that lap dance?
614
00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:41,960
Sorry, it was a one-time only offer,
615
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,399
and she did it
earlier this evening at Antone's.
616
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,895
- No, she didn't.
- How do you know?
617
00:36:47,972 --> 00:36:49,997
I'm good that way.
618
00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:53,874
- Tsk. And you look a little touchéd.
- What's "touchéd"?
619
00:36:53,945 --> 00:36:55,139
Wounded, slightly.
620
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,475
Why should I be wounded?
621
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:59,516
Because you expected guys
to be pestering you all night,
622
00:36:59,584 --> 00:37:02,348
but from your look I can tell
nobody pestered you at all.
623
00:37:03,588 --> 00:37:06,022
That kind of hurt your feelings
a little bit, didn't it?
624
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:12,995
There are few things as fetching
as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.
625
00:37:16,767 --> 00:37:17,756
So...
626
00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:22,870
How about that lap dance?
627
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,703
I think I'm going
to have to give you a rain check.
628
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,810
Well, since you 'll be leaving
in the next couple of days,
629
00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:33,873
that rain check'll be worthless.
630
00:37:36,153 --> 00:37:37,177
But that's okay.
631
00:37:39,056 --> 00:37:41,320
I understand
if I make you uncomfortable.
632
00:37:42,159 --> 00:37:43,990
You 're still a nice girl.
633
00:37:44,061 --> 00:37:45,858
And I still like you.
634
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,426
But I must warn you of something.
635
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:53,126
You know how people say,
636
00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:54,899
"You 're okay in my book,"
637
00:37:54,972 --> 00:37:58,237
or, "In my book, that's no good."
638
00:37:58,309 --> 00:38:03,975
Well, I actually have a book.
639
00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:07,950
And everybody
I ever meet goes in this book.
640
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:12,422
And now I've met you,
and you 're goin' in the book.
641
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:15,688
Except...
642
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,890
I'm afraid I must file you...
643
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:21,898
under...
644
00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:23,490
"Chicken Shit."
645
00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:25,865
And what if I did it?
646
00:38:25,936 --> 00:38:28,200
Well, I definitely couldn't
file you under "Chicken Shit,"
647
00:38:28,272 --> 00:38:30,365
then, now, could I?
648
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:31,738
What's your name again?
649
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,045
- Stuntman Mike.
- Well, Stuntman Mike...
650
00:38:36,113 --> 00:38:37,671
I'm Butterfly.
651
00:38:37,748 --> 00:38:42,276
My friend Jungle Julia over here says
that jukebox inside is pretty impressive.
652
00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:44,082
Yeah, it is.
653
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:45,144
Yeah.
654
00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,454
Well, why don't you go
get ready for your lap dance?
655
00:39:02,540 --> 00:39:05,566
What about "kind of cute,
kind of hot, kind of sexy,
656
00:39:05,643 --> 00:39:07,474
"hysterically funny
but not funny-looking guy
657
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:10,378
who you could fuck"
did you not understand?
658
00:39:10,448 --> 00:39:13,440
##
659
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:27,460
# Aah. aah #
660
00:39:28,065 --> 00:39:32,468
# Aah. aah #
661
00:39:32,536 --> 00:39:37,496
# Now. down in Mexicali #
662
00:39:37,575 --> 00:39:42,103
# There's a pretty
little place that I love #
663
00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:47,242
# Where the drinks
are hotter than the chili sauce #
664
00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:52,085
# And the boss is a cat named Joe #
665
00:39:52,156 --> 00:39:54,818
# He wears a red bandanna #
666
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:57,326
# Plays a cool piano #
667
00:39:57,395 --> 00:40:01,957
# In a honky-tonk down in Mexico #
668
00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:05,058
# He wears a purple sash #
669
00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:07,434
# And a black moustache #
670
00:40:07,505 --> 00:40:11,771
# In a honky-tonk down in Mexico #
671
00:40:11,842 --> 00:40:12,831
# Well #
672
00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:16,869
# The first time that I saw him #
673
00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:21,748
# He was a-sitting on a piano stool #
674
00:40:21,819 --> 00:40:26,813
# I said. "Tell me. then.
when does the fun begin?" #
675
00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:31,487
# He just winked his eye
and said. "Man. be cool" #
676
00:40:31,562 --> 00:40:34,258
# He wears a red bandanna #
677
00:40:34,331 --> 00:40:36,856
# Plays a blues piano #
678
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:41,166
# In a honky-tonk down in Mexico #
679
00:40:41,238 --> 00:40:44,230
# He wears a purple sash #
680
00:40:44,308 --> 00:40:46,742
# And a black moustache #
681
00:40:46,811 --> 00:40:51,009
# In a honky-tonk down in Mexico #
682
00:40:51,081 --> 00:40:52,070
# In Mexico #
683
00:40:52,149 --> 00:40:55,482
# All of a sudden. in walks a chick #
684
00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:56,645
# In Mexico #
685
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,780
# Joe starts playing on a Latin kick #
686
00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:00,846
# In Mexico #
687
00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:04,088
# Around her waist
she wore three fishnets #
688
00:41:04,161 --> 00:41:05,355
# In Mexico #
689
00:41:05,429 --> 00:41:08,023
# She started dancing
with the castanets #
690
00:41:08,098 --> 00:41:09,463
# In Mexico #
691
00:41:09,533 --> 00:41:12,593
# I didn 't know just what to expect #
692
00:41:12,670 --> 00:41:13,659
# In Mexico #
693
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:16,706
# She threw her arms
around my neck #
694
00:41:16,774 --> 00:41:17,763
# In Mexico #
695
00:41:17,842 --> 00:41:20,606
# We started dancing
all around the floor #
696
00:41:20,678 --> 00:41:21,736
# In Mexico #
697
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:25,407
# And then she did a dance
I never saw before #
698
00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:30,011
# So if you 're south of the border #
699
00:41:30,087 --> 00:41:34,524
# I mean a-down in a-Mexico #
700
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:39,291
# And you wanna get straight.
man. don 't hesitate #
701
00:41:39,363 --> 00:41:43,663
# Just look up a cat named Joe #
702
00:41:43,734 --> 00:41:45,964
# He wears a red bandanna #
703
00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:48,664
# Plays a blues piano #
704
00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:53,267
# In a honky-tonk down in Mexico #
705
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,642
# He wears a purple sash #
706
00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:58,307
# And a black moustache #
707
00:41:58,382 --> 00:41:59,849
# In a honky... #
708
00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:02,947
I'm driving.
709
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:06,148
We're gonna go somewhere else,
gonna go hang out.
710
00:42:06,223 --> 00:42:07,212
Ready to go?
711
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:08,485
Yeah.
712
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:10,322
- Bye.
Bye.
713
00:42:13,597 --> 00:42:15,827
I think you got Mike laid tonight.
714
00:42:17,434 --> 00:42:19,595
Lookin' good, Cannonball Run!
715
00:42:20,738 --> 00:42:22,672
He's just giving me a ride.
716
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:23,764
Oh, no doubt.
717
00:42:23,841 --> 00:42:26,139
Have a nice ride!
718
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:29,410
Look, double fucks.
719
00:42:33,751 --> 00:42:35,719
I am not gonna fuck him.
720
00:42:35,786 --> 00:42:37,219
I can hear you.
721
00:42:38,656 --> 00:42:42,148
- He's old enough to be my dad.
- I can still hear you.
722
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:46,556
Bye.
723
00:42:46,630 --> 00:42:47,688
Bye-bye!
724
00:42:54,071 --> 00:42:56,039
Wow, that's fucking scary.
725
00:42:56,106 --> 00:42:58,131
Yeah, well, I wanted it
to be impressive and...
726
00:42:58,208 --> 00:43:00,233
scary tends to impress.
727
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:02,839
Is it safe?
728
00:43:02,913 --> 00:43:04,881
No, it's better than safe.
729
00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:06,576
It's death-proof.
730
00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:09,175
How do you make a car death-proof?
731
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:11,050
Well, that's what stuntmen do.
732
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:13,749
You 've seen a movie where
a car gets into some smash-up
733
00:43:13,824 --> 00:43:16,258
there ain't no way in hell
anybody's walking away from?
734
00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:17,316
Yeah.
735
00:43:17,394 --> 00:43:19,885
Well, how do you
think they accomplish that?
736
00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:21,989
CGI?
737
00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:26,002
Well, unfortunately, Pam, nowadays
more often than not, you 're right.
738
00:43:26,070 --> 00:43:28,334
Tsk. But back
in the all-or-nothin' days...
739
00:43:28,405 --> 00:43:32,205
Vanishing Point days,
the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days,
740
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:33,937
the White Line Fever days...
741
00:43:34,011 --> 00:43:36,980
real cars smashing into real cars.
742
00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:39,675
Real dumb people driving 'em.
743
00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:42,776
So, give the stunt team
the car you want to smash up,
744
00:43:42,853 --> 00:43:45,413
they take her and reinforce
that fucker everywhere and...
745
00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:46,478
Voila!
746
00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,993
You got yourself
a death-proof automobile.
747
00:43:51,528 --> 00:43:55,123
That makes sense. I just didn't know
you could make a car death-proof.
748
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:58,999
Well, I can drive this baby into
a brick wall doing 125 miles an hour.
749
00:43:59,837 --> 00:44:01,270
Just for the experience.
750
00:44:08,012 --> 00:44:10,242
Why is your passenger seat in a box?
751
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,838
Well, this is a movie car.
752
00:44:11,915 --> 00:44:15,442
Sometimes when you 're shootin' a crash,
director wants to put a camera in the car...
753
00:44:15,519 --> 00:44:17,680
you know, shoot the crash
from the inside.
754
00:44:17,755 --> 00:44:20,690
That's where you put the camera.
They call it a "crash box."
755
00:44:23,427 --> 00:44:25,088
There you go.
756
00:44:25,162 --> 00:44:27,460
You know, when you
asked to drive me home,
757
00:44:27,531 --> 00:44:29,431
you didn't mention your car
didn't have a passenger seat.
758
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,492
Yeah, well, actually,
I didn't ask to drive you home.
759
00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:34,469
You asked me for a ride,
and I said, "Yes."
760
00:44:34,538 --> 00:44:35,869
But look at the bright side, Pam...
761
00:44:35,939 --> 00:44:38,908
I won't be gettin' fresh,
putting my hand on your knee.
762
00:44:40,711 --> 00:44:42,508
That is a bright side.
763
00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:44,707
I thought so.
764
00:45:10,741 --> 00:45:12,140
Well, Pam...
765
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:13,471
which way are you going?
766
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,375
- Left or right?
- Right.
767
00:45:15,446 --> 00:45:17,414
Ah, that's too bad.
768
00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:19,106
Why?
769
00:45:19,183 --> 00:45:23,051
Well, because it was a 50/50 shot
on whether you 'd be going left or right.
770
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,247
You see, we're both going left.
771
00:45:25,322 --> 00:45:27,313
You could have just
as easily been going left, too,
772
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:28,688
and if that was the case,
773
00:45:28,759 --> 00:45:31,421
it would have been a while
before you started getting scared.
774
00:45:31,495 --> 00:45:33,861
But since
you 're going the other way,
775
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,489
I'm afraid...
776
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,967
you 're gonna
have to start getting scared...
777
00:45:39,036 --> 00:45:40,094
immediately.
778
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:41,262
What the fuck?!
779
00:45:50,781 --> 00:45:52,612
Cocksucking motherfucker!
780
00:45:52,683 --> 00:45:54,275
Just fucking let me out of here!
781
00:45:54,351 --> 00:45:55,909
I'll fucking rip your fucking...
782
00:45:55,986 --> 00:45:57,385
Stop the fucking car!
783
00:45:57,454 --> 00:45:59,285
Why are you being such a shit?
784
00:46:39,563 --> 00:46:41,360
Okay.
785
00:46:41,431 --> 00:46:42,830
Here's the thing.
786
00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:44,993
I get it.
787
00:46:45,068 --> 00:46:47,764
l... I know it's a joke,
and super funny.
788
00:46:48,572 --> 00:46:52,338
Um, but if you just stop right now,
789
00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:54,809
you know, and... and let me out,
790
00:46:54,878 --> 00:46:58,245
I'll never tell anybody
because I know it's a joke.
791
00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:59,646
I know all about jokes.
792
00:46:59,716 --> 00:47:01,149
Ha ha ha!
793
00:47:01,218 --> 00:47:04,654
I promise everything'll be fine.
794
00:47:04,721 --> 00:47:07,212
Just... just... just let me out.
795
00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:08,280
Please?
796
00:47:08,358 --> 00:47:10,121
- And... and... and...
- Hey, Pam!
797
00:47:11,195 --> 00:47:14,687
Remember when I said
this car was death proof?
798
00:47:14,765 --> 00:47:18,030
Well, that wasn't a lie.
799
00:47:18,101 --> 00:47:20,695
This car is 100% death proof.
800
00:47:21,605 --> 00:47:24,574
Only to get the benefit of it, honey...
801
00:47:24,641 --> 00:47:27,633
you really need to be sittin' in my seat.
802
00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:08,677
Now I gotta catch me
my other girlfriends.
803
00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:24,155
No, no, no, no, no, no.
804
00:48:24,234 --> 00:48:27,465
It's Dave Dee, Dozy,
Beaky, Mick and Tich.
805
00:48:28,372 --> 00:48:29,930
So, you got it?
806
00:48:30,007 --> 00:48:32,874
Thanks, honey.
You 're gonna play it next song, right?
807
00:48:34,111 --> 00:48:35,976
Good boy.
808
00:48:37,447 --> 00:48:39,108
Growl!
809
00:48:39,182 --> 00:48:41,241
Bye-bye.
810
00:48:41,318 --> 00:48:42,751
Who do you want to hear?
811
00:48:42,819 --> 00:48:44,719
Dave Dee, Dozy,
Beaky, Mick, and Tich.
812
00:48:44,788 --> 00:48:46,050
Who?
813
00:48:46,123 --> 00:48:49,752
Dave Dee, Dozy,
Beaky, Mick, and Tich.
814
00:48:49,826 --> 00:48:51,225
Who the fuck are they?
815
00:48:51,295 --> 00:48:54,093
For your information,
Pete Townshend, at one point,
816
00:48:54,164 --> 00:48:55,927
almost quit The Who,
and if he had,
817
00:48:55,999 --> 00:48:57,660
he would have ended up in this group,
818
00:48:57,734 --> 00:49:01,465
thus making it Dave Dee, Dozy,
Beaky, Mick, Tich, and Pete.
819
00:49:01,538 --> 00:49:03,096
And if you ask me,
he should have.
820
00:49:04,241 --> 00:49:06,573
That's my boy!
821
00:49:06,643 --> 00:49:09,806
##
822
00:49:19,656 --> 00:49:21,590
# Hold tight. count to three #
823
00:49:21,658 --> 00:49:23,717
# Gotta stay close by me #
824
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,557
# And hold tight. sing and shout #
825
00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:27,494
# Just ride my roundabout #
826
00:49:27,564 --> 00:49:29,555
# And hold tight. shut your eyes #
827
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:34,730
# Girl. you suit me for size... #
828
00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:38,571
# Forget the other guys #
829
00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:42,078
# You 'll never fall
each time you call #
830
00:49:42,145 --> 00:49:46,013
# Hold tight. hold tight #
831
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:51,851
# Hold tight... #
832
00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:56,018
# Hold tight. make me feel.
what you say is for real #
833
00:49:56,093 --> 00:49:57,958
# And hold tight. carousel #
834
00:49:58,028 --> 00:49:59,620
# Girl. you 'll soon ring my bell #
835
00:49:59,696 --> 00:50:01,789
# And hold tight. we will fly #
836
00:50:01,865 --> 00:50:06,962
# Swinging low. swinging high... #
837
00:50:07,037 --> 00:50:10,871
# We're gonna make the sky #
838
00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:12,772
# You 'll never fall #
839
00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:43,903
##
840
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:57,652
I want to hear
this part of the song louder!
841
00:51:45,068 --> 00:51:46,729
Do you remember anything?
842
00:51:48,672 --> 00:51:50,970
Uh... l... I don't remember.
843
00:51:54,544 --> 00:51:55,977
Doctor Block.
844
00:52:02,853 --> 00:52:05,447
Self-restraints to Room 310.
845
00:52:05,522 --> 00:52:07,922
Self-restraints to Room 310.
846
00:52:09,126 --> 00:52:14,428
Well. What's the patient's
prognosis, Dr. Block?
847
00:52:14,498 --> 00:52:16,728
I don't really see
it's any of your business.
848
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,631
Come on now, Sis.
849
00:52:18,702 --> 00:52:21,000
You just tell us.
850
00:52:21,071 --> 00:52:22,402
How bad is he?
851
00:52:27,077 --> 00:52:28,806
He got banged up real good.
852
00:52:28,879 --> 00:52:33,282
Busted nose, broken collarbone,
smashed up his left index finger.
853
00:52:33,350 --> 00:52:34,544
Is that it?
854
00:52:36,353 --> 00:52:38,082
He was real lucky.
855
00:52:40,290 --> 00:52:42,053
That'll be all?
856
00:52:42,125 --> 00:52:45,424
Well, that's more than enough,
and I wanna thank you, Dr. Block.
857
00:52:49,266 --> 00:52:50,756
Son of a bitch.
858
00:52:52,302 --> 00:52:53,894
So, Pop.
859
00:52:53,970 --> 00:52:55,494
What do you think?
860
00:52:55,572 --> 00:52:57,403
Well, Son Number One,
861
00:52:57,474 --> 00:53:01,638
what I think is so goddamn ghoulish
I hesitate to speak it out loud.
862
00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,943
Well, give it a shot.
863
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:08,041
Well, what we have here
is a case of vehicular homicide.
864
00:53:08,118 --> 00:53:10,848
That ol' boy in there
murdered them pretty little gals.
865
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:14,687
I mean, he used a car, not a hatchet,
but they're dead just the same.
866
00:53:16,259 --> 00:53:19,285
Well, what are you gonna do?
867
00:53:19,362 --> 00:53:21,057
Not a goddamn thing.
868
00:53:21,131 --> 00:53:23,395
D.A. says there ain't no crime here.
869
00:53:24,301 --> 00:53:29,238
Every one of them gals was swimming
in alcohol and floatin' on weed,
870
00:53:29,306 --> 00:53:33,174
and old Hooper in there
came out clean as a whistle.
871
00:53:33,243 --> 00:53:37,646
Now, you actually think that he
premeditatively murdered them gals?
872
00:53:37,714 --> 00:53:39,477
Well, I can't prove it.
873
00:53:39,549 --> 00:53:42,712
But since thinkin' don't cost nothin',
I can think it, and I do.
874
00:53:42,786 --> 00:53:46,153
Yeah, but Pop, he got
pretty banged up himself.
875
00:53:46,223 --> 00:53:48,748
Well, hell yeah,
he got banged up, but goddamn...
876
00:53:48,825 --> 00:53:51,555
I mean, them pretty little gals in there
look like a goddamn giant
877
00:53:51,628 --> 00:53:53,323
chewed 'em up and spit 'em out.
878
00:53:53,396 --> 00:53:54,761
Did any of 'em survive?
879
00:53:54,831 --> 00:53:56,731
Shit.
880
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,268
Two tons of metal,
200 miles an hour,
881
00:53:59,336 --> 00:54:01,736
flesh and bone
and plain old Newton...
882
00:54:01,805 --> 00:54:03,898
they all princess died.
883
00:54:11,014 --> 00:54:12,413
Why?
884
00:54:12,482 --> 00:54:16,782
Well, I'd guesstimate
it's a sex thing.
885
00:54:16,853 --> 00:54:18,844
The only way I can figure it.
886
00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:24,053
High-velocity impact,
twisted metal, busted glass,
887
00:54:24,127 --> 00:54:27,187
all four souls taken
exactly the same time.
888
00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:32,524
Probably the only way that diabolical
degenerate can shoot his goo.
889
00:54:33,703 --> 00:54:36,228
Yeah, I think the only thing
we can dream of getting that bastard on
890
00:54:36,306 --> 00:54:39,798
is vehicular manslaughter
for the hitchhiker in the death box.
891
00:54:39,876 --> 00:54:42,743
That was just plain old,
goddamn reckless endangerment.
892
00:54:42,812 --> 00:54:45,804
But I got me a goddamn bartender
893
00:54:45,882 --> 00:54:49,511
gonna testify that ol' Stuntman
Mike didn't drink a drop all night.
894
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,153
And his passenger
was left stranded by her date,
895
00:54:53,223 --> 00:54:56,954
in the goddamn rain, no less,
and she asked him for the fucking ride.
896
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:00,861
Now, on paper, this is gonna look
like he was just trying to help her out.
897
00:55:00,930 --> 00:55:03,228
I mean, that's the way
the jury's gonna see it.
898
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:05,495
So, what are you gonna do, Pop?
899
00:55:05,568 --> 00:55:06,660
Tsk.
900
00:55:06,736 --> 00:55:09,671
Well, I could take it
upon myself to work the case,
901
00:55:12,150 --> 00:55:15,313
Search for evidence,
you know, prove my theory.
902
00:55:15,386 --> 00:55:16,648
Alert authorities.
903
00:55:16,721 --> 00:55:20,316
Dog that rotten son of a bitch...
wherever he goes, I go.
904
00:55:20,391 --> 00:55:25,522
Or I could spend the same
goddamn amount of time and energy
905
00:55:25,597 --> 00:55:28,532
following the NASCAR circuit.
906
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,760
Hmm. I've thought about it a lot.
907
00:55:30,834 --> 00:55:34,292
I think I'd have a hell
of a lot happier life if I did the latter.
908
00:55:34,371 --> 00:55:35,360
And just because I can't
909
00:55:35,439 --> 00:55:39,671
punish Old Frankenstein
in there for what he's done,
910
00:55:39,743 --> 00:55:42,541
I'm gonna tell you
like the Lord told John...
911
00:55:42,613 --> 00:55:44,604
if he ever does it again,
912
00:55:44,681 --> 00:55:47,980
I can make goddamn sure
he don't do it in Texas.
913
00:55:48,285 --> 00:55:51,743
##
914
00:55:59,262 --> 00:56:01,457
# You know you 're sliding down #
915
00:56:02,599 --> 00:56:04,498
# Against your heart #
916
00:56:05,968 --> 00:56:07,560
# Yeah. you got one #
917
00:56:10,973 --> 00:56:13,567
# Just close your eyes #
918
00:56:14,644 --> 00:56:17,044
# So you can see #
919
00:56:17,847 --> 00:56:20,179
# So you can see #
920
00:56:21,050 --> 00:56:22,745
# No. baby. I don 't care #
921
00:56:22,818 --> 00:56:25,651
# What they say. it's so easy #
922
00:56:29,759 --> 00:56:31,989
# No. baby. I don 't care #
923
00:56:32,061 --> 00:56:34,655
# What they say. it's so easy #
924
00:56:38,366 --> 00:56:39,958
# Yeah. it's comin ' on #
925
00:56:42,003 --> 00:56:44,096
# It 's getting sweeter #
926
00:56:45,206 --> 00:56:46,901
# And sweeter #
927
00:56:50,245 --> 00:56:52,713
# If you 're gonna drown #
928
00:56:54,015 --> 00:56:56,279
# Then do it the right way #
929
00:56:57,886 --> 00:56:59,547
# The right way #
930
00:57:01,289 --> 00:57:06,249
# I don 't care what they say. it's so easy #
931
00:57:09,798 --> 00:57:12,823
# I don 't care what they say. it's so... #
932
00:57:13,967 --> 00:57:17,130
Are you on the same floor as him?
No, he's on the fourth.
933
00:57:17,204 --> 00:57:19,536
- And who's in whose room?
- He's in mine.
934
00:57:19,606 --> 00:57:20,868
And so what happened then?
935
00:57:20,941 --> 00:57:25,207
We made out for about ten minutes,
and then I sent him off to his room.
936
00:57:25,279 --> 00:57:28,874
- So how's the Rock as a kisser?
- Mm, he's damn good.
937
00:57:28,949 --> 00:57:31,747
He's got them mushy lips,
smooth fingertips.
938
00:57:31,819 --> 00:57:33,719
Mm, I love them mushy lips.
939
00:57:33,787 --> 00:57:36,915
He's a big guy, so he spins me around
so my back is up against him,
940
00:57:36,990 --> 00:57:39,550
takes his big hand
and puts it on my throat,
941
00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:44,086
tilts my head back and leans over me,
kisses me from behind.
942
00:57:44,164 --> 00:57:45,562
Damn, that sounds sexy!
943
00:57:45,631 --> 00:57:47,155
It was sexy.
944
00:57:47,233 --> 00:57:51,135
But then that was it?
You sent him off? How'd he take it?
945
00:57:51,204 --> 00:57:52,899
Wait a minute, what are we doing here?
946
00:57:52,972 --> 00:57:56,703
If I'm gonna power through and pick up
Zoë at the airport, I need coffee.
947
00:57:56,776 --> 00:58:00,610
Since you 're getting that, can you get
some more vodka and sugar-free Red Bull?
948
00:58:02,982 --> 00:58:04,279
We didn't know you were awake.
949
00:58:04,350 --> 00:58:06,045
I'm not awake. I'm asleep.
950
00:58:06,119 --> 00:58:09,213
But get some more vodka
and some sugar-free Red Bull anyway.
951
00:58:09,989 --> 00:58:11,456
And some Red Apple Tans.
952
00:58:11,524 --> 00:58:13,992
Damn, I didn't stop
to get you bitches groceries.
953
00:58:16,229 --> 00:58:18,662
- You remember how to get to the airport?
Uh-huh.
954
00:58:18,730 --> 00:58:21,563
Then you should get behind the wheel,
'cause you gonna drive.
955
00:58:23,435 --> 00:58:24,925
Motherfuckers.
956
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:43,654
They ain't got sugar-free Red Bull.
957
00:58:43,722 --> 00:58:46,316
They got regular Red Bull
and sugar-free G.O. juice.
958
00:58:46,391 --> 00:58:49,121
G.O.
G.O.!
959
00:59:14,385 --> 00:59:20,517
# It's not the way you kiss
that says you 're mine #
960
00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:28,353
# Many, many, many nights go by #
961
00:59:28,431 --> 00:59:34,199
# I sit alone at home and cry over you #
962
00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:37,467
# What can I do #
963
00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:43,001
# Don't want nobody, nobody #
964
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:46,378
# 'Cause, baby, it's you #
965
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:59,420
# Is it true what they say #
966
00:59:59,495 --> 01:00:03,658
# All about you #
967
01:00:05,634 --> 01:00:11,095
# They say you 'll never
ever never be true #
968
01:00:13,709 --> 01:00:18,373
# It doesn't matter what they say #
969
01:00:18,447 --> 01:00:22,008
# I know I'm gonna
love you any old way #
970
01:00:22,084 --> 01:00:25,053
# What would I do #
971
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:28,317
# Without you #
972
01:00:28,390 --> 01:00:30,722
# I don't want nobody... #
973
01:00:30,993 --> 01:00:33,825
Where the hell are my keys?
Here they are.
974
01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:37,824
Sorry, I didn't mean to give
you a concert there.
975
01:00:37,899 --> 01:00:40,026
No, it wasn't you.
976
01:00:40,101 --> 01:00:42,797
That guy bumped into my feet
when he walked by.
977
01:00:44,238 --> 01:00:47,071
I don't know why,
but that kind of creeped me out.
978
01:01:02,957 --> 01:01:06,017
# I don 't care
what they saying to me #
979
01:01:12,666 --> 01:01:14,190
Little dick.
980
01:01:16,036 --> 01:01:17,367
Clearly.
981
01:01:18,972 --> 01:01:24,000
Since I'm up,
I might as well hit the ATM.
982
01:01:25,345 --> 01:01:27,404
Get me a fuckin' smoke.
983
01:02:51,595 --> 01:02:53,358
What?
984
01:02:53,430 --> 01:02:55,398
Did you just see the...
985
01:02:55,465 --> 01:02:56,454
What?
986
01:02:58,735 --> 01:02:59,861
Nothing, honey.
987
01:03:23,492 --> 01:03:24,481
Y'ello.
988
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:25,891
It's me.
989
01:03:25,961 --> 01:03:27,258
Miss me?
990
01:03:28,764 --> 01:03:31,358
You best get your ass
off Kim's car.
991
01:03:31,434 --> 01:03:35,200
- I've seen Kim sit on it before.
- Her ass ain't your ass.
992
01:03:35,271 --> 01:03:39,708
Okay. So, I think I'm in
this month's issue of Allure.
993
01:03:43,279 --> 01:03:44,769
You got Allure?
994
01:03:44,847 --> 01:03:46,747
Magazines by the window.
995
01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:02,790
Here you are!
996
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,495
You hot mama, you.
997
01:04:07,569 --> 01:04:09,400
See you in a second.
998
01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:12,565
$3.85... out of 20.
999
01:04:16,678 --> 01:04:19,670
And you get 16 and change back.
Thank you very much.
1000
01:04:22,050 --> 01:04:25,281
You know, I got other fashion magazines
for sale behind the counter.
1001
01:04:27,822 --> 01:04:30,256
No, that's okay.
This'll be all.
1002
01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:31,484
Thought I'd ask.
1003
01:04:31,558 --> 01:04:33,321
- Thanks anyway.
- Have a good one.
1004
01:04:36,463 --> 01:04:39,125
I got this month's issue
of Italian Vogue.
1005
01:04:44,371 --> 01:04:45,633
This month's?
1006
01:04:47,474 --> 01:04:49,738
Listen to this.
1007
01:04:49,810 --> 01:04:54,543
The Circle A clerk has
this month's issue of Italian Vogue.
1008
01:04:54,615 --> 01:04:55,775
- No way.
- Way!
1009
01:04:55,849 --> 01:04:58,340
I can't believe fuckin' Circle A
carries Italian Vogue.
1010
01:04:58,418 --> 01:05:00,852
It doesn't. It's his own personal copy.
1011
01:05:00,921 --> 01:05:03,185
He'll let it go for 27 bucks.
1012
01:05:03,257 --> 01:05:05,121
27 bucks?
1013
01:05:05,191 --> 01:05:07,625
What the fuck do you care?
We're talking about per diem here.
1014
01:05:07,693 --> 01:05:10,594
We found an issue of Italian Vogue
in Lebanon, Tennessee.
1015
01:05:10,663 --> 01:05:12,597
We're lucky he's not asking
for fuckin' Krugerrands.
1016
01:05:12,665 --> 01:05:14,792
I'm getting it, and we're
splitting it three ways.
1017
01:05:14,867 --> 01:05:16,129
What, me, you, and Kim?
1018
01:05:16,202 --> 01:05:18,033
Kim doesn't give
a shit about Italian Vogue.
1019
01:05:18,104 --> 01:05:21,767
but Brandy'll come in with us,
and if she won't, Tisla, her sister, will.
1020
01:05:22,608 --> 01:05:25,577
Okay, but if anybody tears out
any sheets I want,
1021
01:05:25,645 --> 01:05:29,012
you gotta make color Xeroxes
of those pages, and I'm not talking Kinko's.
1022
01:05:29,081 --> 01:05:33,108
You take it to the art department
and have them do it fuckin' right.
1023
01:05:50,835 --> 01:05:53,133
Whoo!
1024
01:05:56,775 --> 01:05:58,003
Oh, my God!
1025
01:06:06,151 --> 01:06:07,550
Got it!
1026
01:06:17,161 --> 01:06:19,186
...the actress...
1027
01:06:30,674 --> 01:06:32,164
Oh, boy.
1028
01:06:35,145 --> 01:06:37,170
Your timing couldn't be better, Zoë.
1029
01:06:37,248 --> 01:06:41,844
It just so happens we're all three
off-duty for the next three days.
1030
01:06:41,919 --> 01:06:44,387
Fuckin' hell! How does that happen?
1031
01:06:44,455 --> 01:06:47,446
I'm doing Lindsay Lohan's makeup,
and she's off for the next three days.
1032
01:06:47,523 --> 01:06:50,390
There's no stunts being filmed
during that time so Kim's free,
1033
01:06:50,460 --> 01:06:54,556
and Lee's on a will-notify
for the four days.
1034
01:06:54,631 --> 01:06:56,189
So how's the shoot going?
1035
01:06:56,266 --> 01:06:58,325
Great. We're having the best time.
1036
01:06:58,401 --> 01:07:00,494
The director, Cecil Evans, is so fun.
1037
01:07:00,570 --> 01:07:03,801
We're making the coolest movie
and partying all the time.
1038
01:07:03,873 --> 01:07:07,468
Hell, yeah. The next job
after this one is definitely gonna suck.
1039
01:07:07,543 --> 01:07:09,443
So let's hear it, ladies.
1040
01:07:09,512 --> 01:07:11,912
Set romances! Who's getting it off?
1041
01:07:11,981 --> 01:07:14,609
That would be Lee and Toolbox.
1042
01:07:14,684 --> 01:07:17,710
Oh, Toolbox!
Name sounds promising.
1043
01:07:17,787 --> 01:07:19,913
- He's a grip.
- What he is is a pervert.
1044
01:07:19,988 --> 01:07:22,286
Well, he just keeps sounding
better and better.
1045
01:07:23,558 --> 01:07:24,547
What's his perversion?
1046
01:07:26,662 --> 01:07:29,096
He likes to watch me pee.
1047
01:07:29,665 --> 01:07:34,125
# Lee is sitting on a toilet
and Toolbox is watching her pee #
1048
01:07:34,202 --> 01:07:36,261
# P-l-S-S-l-N-G #
1049
01:07:36,338 --> 01:07:37,327
Ooh!
1050
01:07:37,639 --> 01:07:39,368
Yeah, but not no more.
1051
01:07:39,441 --> 01:07:41,671
Now she's getting it on
with the Rock.
1052
01:07:41,743 --> 01:07:43,608
You had a one-off with the Rock?
1053
01:07:43,679 --> 01:07:46,113
Well, not the real Rock.
He's this electrician named Bruce.
1054
01:07:46,181 --> 01:07:50,015
He looks like the Rock,
so we all just call him the Rock.
1055
01:07:50,085 --> 01:07:51,746
Oh, yeah, this is an all-star crew.
1056
01:07:51,820 --> 01:07:55,414
We got a guy who looks like Nic Cage
and Pee Wee Herman, too.
1057
01:07:55,489 --> 01:07:57,923
Kim, dick department.
Let's hear it!
1058
01:07:57,992 --> 01:08:01,359
Mm-mmm, no dick this trip.
I got a man.
1059
01:08:01,429 --> 01:08:04,660
- How long have you had this boyfriend?
- About three months.
1060
01:08:04,732 --> 01:08:06,359
Who'd you steal him from?
1061
01:08:06,434 --> 01:08:07,731
Nobody!
1062
01:08:07,802 --> 01:08:10,362
Kim!
- Wha... what?
1063
01:08:10,438 --> 01:08:12,099
He totally had a girlfriend.
1064
01:08:12,173 --> 01:08:15,802
All of Kim's boyfriends start out
as somebody else's boyfriend.
1065
01:08:15,876 --> 01:08:17,969
I did not steal him!
1066
01:08:18,045 --> 01:08:23,176
I didn't steal any of them;
they just... jumped ship.
1067
01:08:25,419 --> 01:08:29,184
- So what's your story, Abernathy?
- Oh, Abbie's got the big Kahuna.
1068
01:08:29,255 --> 01:08:31,985
I had a set crush on Cecil.
1069
01:08:32,058 --> 01:08:35,391
Set crush? Nigga, please.
You were his set wife!
1070
01:08:35,462 --> 01:08:37,692
"Were" and "had" being
the key words, here.
1071
01:08:37,764 --> 01:08:40,460
Bitch, you two are still
into each other and you know it.
1072
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:45,596
Yeah, well, if he's so in love with me,
why did he fuck Darryl Hannah's stand-in?
1073
01:08:49,175 --> 01:08:52,838
Yes, men are dogs.
Oh, it's so funny!
1074
01:08:52,912 --> 01:08:54,379
Oh, it's so funny!
1075
01:08:54,447 --> 01:08:56,972
Stop acting all hurt.
Your ass just mad.
1076
01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:58,847
Yeah, he's a stand-in fucker.
1077
01:08:58,918 --> 01:09:01,886
You need to get over that shit.
That was two weeks ago.
1078
01:09:01,954 --> 01:09:04,889
Oh, well, now you put it like that...
1079
01:09:05,758 --> 01:09:08,158
Oh, I haven't told you the best part.
1080
01:09:08,227 --> 01:09:11,321
He fucked her on my birthday.
1081
01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:14,230
Oh, that's a horse of a different color.
1082
01:09:14,299 --> 01:09:17,166
- Thank you.
- Did he know it was your birthday?
1083
01:09:17,236 --> 01:09:19,966
I mean, he's the director.
He's kind of busy.
1084
01:09:20,038 --> 01:09:24,475
He ate a piece of my birthday cake,
and he got me a present.
1085
01:09:24,543 --> 01:09:26,534
- Wow.
- Yeah... I think he knew.
1086
01:09:28,213 --> 01:09:29,703
What did he get you?
1087
01:09:33,285 --> 01:09:34,752
He made me a tape.
1088
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,546
He made you a tape?
1089
01:09:36,621 --> 01:09:38,851
Wait, he didn't burn you a CD?
1090
01:09:38,923 --> 01:09:40,288
He made you a tape?
1091
01:09:40,358 --> 01:09:43,350
- Yeah.
- Oh, that is so romantic!
1092
01:09:43,428 --> 01:09:46,522
Yes, I know what you 're gonna say,
so don't even go there.
1093
01:09:46,597 --> 01:09:48,622
This sounds like the test
of true love to me.
1094
01:09:48,699 --> 01:09:52,396
Look, I know you guys like him.
He's likeable.
1095
01:09:52,470 --> 01:09:55,064
But he fucked another woman
on my birthday.
1096
01:09:55,139 --> 01:09:57,505
How can you not be on my side?
1097
01:09:57,575 --> 01:09:59,065
I admit, that sounds bad.
1098
01:09:59,143 --> 01:10:00,405
It is bad!
1099
01:10:00,478 --> 01:10:03,345
It just sounds like there's
a little more to it than that.
1100
01:10:03,414 --> 01:10:04,574
Were you two fucking?
1101
01:10:04,649 --> 01:10:06,139
Hell, no.
1102
01:10:06,217 --> 01:10:08,082
Hello, is your name Abernathy?
1103
01:10:08,152 --> 01:10:09,140
Sorry.
1104
01:10:09,219 --> 01:10:12,780
The answer to your question
is no, of course not.
1105
01:10:12,856 --> 01:10:15,848
What do you mean "No, of course not"?
1106
01:10:15,926 --> 01:10:18,918
The reason Cecil hasn't had
a girlfriend in six years
1107
01:10:18,995 --> 01:10:22,294
is because girls will fuck him,
and if you fuck Cecil,
1108
01:10:22,365 --> 01:10:24,629
you don't become one
of his girlfriends...
1109
01:10:24,701 --> 01:10:27,636
not to say I want to be his girlfriend,
1110
01:10:27,704 --> 01:10:32,903
but if I did want to be his girlfriend,
if I fucked him, I wouldn't be.
1111
01:10:32,976 --> 01:10:38,642
I'd be one of his regulars,
and I'm getting too fuckin' old for that shit.
1112
01:10:38,715 --> 01:10:41,912
- Have you let him do anything?
- Yes!
1113
01:10:43,619 --> 01:10:45,519
I've let him give me a foot massage,
1114
01:10:45,588 --> 01:10:49,456
and when we go to the movies,
I've let him hold my hand.
1115
01:10:49,525 --> 01:10:52,255
Bitch, you might be actin'
like you 12 years old,
1116
01:10:52,328 --> 01:10:53,852
but he just acting like a man.
1117
01:10:53,929 --> 01:10:56,022
You need to break
that nigga off a piece.
1118
01:10:56,098 --> 01:10:57,429
Let me get this straight...
1119
01:10:58,467 --> 01:11:01,766
you 're not fucking him,
you 're not sucking him,
1120
01:11:01,837 --> 01:11:05,705
you 're not giving him any tongue,
but Darryl Hannah's stand-in is?
1121
01:11:05,774 --> 01:11:07,935
Can we just take my sex life
off the table?
1122
01:11:08,010 --> 01:11:11,377
Actually, it was Cecil's sex life
that was on the table...
1123
01:11:11,447 --> 01:11:13,108
and your lack of one.
1124
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,286
Fuck both of you
and your little high-five.
1125
01:11:21,356 --> 01:11:25,793
Before you can claim a nigga,
you got to claim a nigga,
1126
01:11:25,860 --> 01:11:28,761
and you can start by giving
that motherfucker a hand job
1127
01:11:28,830 --> 01:11:30,559
in the back of the van
on Tuesday.
1128
01:11:30,632 --> 01:11:31,792
I'm not gonna do that!
1129
01:11:31,866 --> 01:11:34,426
I know you won't!
But you know who will...
1130
01:11:34,502 --> 01:11:37,471
the bitch that ends up living
in that big-ass mansion of his.
1131
01:11:37,539 --> 01:11:40,599
I haven't entirely agreed
with everything Kim's said,
1132
01:11:40,675 --> 01:11:44,475
but it is true if you 've stretched it out
like you have with Cecil
1133
01:11:44,546 --> 01:11:49,108
and you suddenly get dirty on them,
it blows their mind.
1134
01:11:50,450 --> 01:11:53,886
So Zoë, Kim, and I are
in the Philippines at an outdoor rave.
1135
01:11:53,954 --> 01:11:57,287
What were you working on?
- Three Kicks to the Head. Part Three.
1136
01:11:57,357 --> 01:12:00,793
And, admittedly,
we're a little fucked up.
1137
01:12:00,861 --> 01:12:03,125
Cheers to that.
- Word.
1138
01:12:03,830 --> 01:12:05,058
Cheers.
1139
01:12:05,132 --> 01:12:06,656
So Zoë...
1140
01:12:07,801 --> 01:12:11,669
the genius, wants to take
a picture of me.
1141
01:12:12,806 --> 01:12:16,207
It's dark as hell,
and you can't see shit.
1142
01:12:16,276 --> 01:12:19,905
So she's got her camera
and keeps saying, "Step back a little!"
1143
01:12:19,980 --> 01:12:21,038
So I do.
1144
01:12:21,114 --> 01:12:23,446
Then "A little fu -ther!"
1145
01:12:23,517 --> 01:12:28,180
So I step back a little fu -ther.
Then "A little more!" So I do.
1146
01:12:28,254 --> 01:12:34,193
Then I realize I'm at the edge
of a seven-foot concrete ditch...
1147
01:12:34,260 --> 01:12:36,694
...with God knows how many rocks
1148
01:12:36,762 --> 01:12:40,994
and broken bottles and rats in it,
and if I fell in that fucking thing,
1149
01:12:41,067 --> 01:12:43,058
I probably would have broken my neck.
1150
01:12:43,135 --> 01:12:46,866
So I am yelling at her:
"Zoë, you almost killed me!"
1151
01:12:48,541 --> 01:12:52,568
So we laugh about it
and walk a little further,
1152
01:12:52,645 --> 01:12:55,170
and Zoë starts fuckin' around.
1153
01:12:55,247 --> 01:12:59,342
And... bam! ...if she doesn't fall
in the fucking ditch!
1154
01:13:00,819 --> 01:13:02,582
Nice.
1155
01:13:02,654 --> 01:13:05,316
Thank you. Yep. Thank you.
1156
01:13:06,424 --> 01:13:08,892
I remember taking a step
and looking down,
1157
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:12,521
just as I'm thinking, "There's that ditch
Abbie was talking about."
1158
01:13:12,597 --> 01:13:14,963
Bam! I'm in the fucking ditch, you know.
1159
01:13:15,033 --> 01:13:16,398
What happened?
1160
01:13:16,468 --> 01:13:18,834
What, with Zoë, the cat?
1161
01:13:18,903 --> 01:13:19,927
Nothing.
1162
01:13:20,005 --> 01:13:23,998
If I fell in that fuckin' thing, they would
have had to helicopter me out of there.
1163
01:13:24,075 --> 01:13:26,373
Zoë just lands on her feet.
1164
01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:30,574
But then later I started feeling
a little bad about myself...
1165
01:13:30,649 --> 01:13:35,711
Zoë falls in the ditch and it's nothing.
We're laughing about it.
1166
01:13:35,786 --> 01:13:40,120
If I fell in that fucking thing,
I probably would have been paralyzed.
1167
01:13:40,190 --> 01:13:42,454
Oh, honey, you can't think like that.
1168
01:13:42,526 --> 01:13:46,360
We all have our individual talents,
and that just happens to be one of Zoë's.
1169
01:13:46,430 --> 01:13:50,924
Well, physically speaking,
Zoë is amazing.
1170
01:13:51,001 --> 01:13:53,663
I mean, agility, reflexes, nimbleness?
1171
01:13:54,505 --> 01:13:57,633
There's few human beings that can fuck
with Zoë on that front.
1172
01:13:57,708 --> 01:13:59,733
Kim, I like you too.
1173
01:14:00,678 --> 01:14:05,138
Having said that, before you get
too envious of Zoë's prowess,
1174
01:14:05,215 --> 01:14:07,944
you 're missing the most
important part of that story.
1175
01:14:08,017 --> 01:14:11,544
You didn't fall in the ditch.
Zoë did.
1176
01:14:11,621 --> 01:14:15,523
Zoë even knew there was a ditch there
because you told her,
1177
01:14:15,591 --> 01:14:17,491
and she still fell in.
1178
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:20,654
So Lee's right.
We all have our talents.
1179
01:14:20,730 --> 01:14:23,824
Hey, I resemble that remark.
1180
01:14:27,070 --> 01:14:29,163
So Kim, you still pack a Roscoe?
1181
01:14:32,442 --> 01:14:34,273
Check it out, bitch.
1182
01:14:34,343 --> 01:14:36,709
- Ooh, nice one, mate.
- I know this.
1183
01:14:36,779 --> 01:14:37,973
What's a Roscoe?
1184
01:14:38,047 --> 01:14:39,344
Roscoe's a pistol.
1185
01:14:40,182 --> 01:14:42,116
- You carry a gun?
- Uh-huh.
1186
01:14:42,184 --> 01:14:44,175
You have a license to carry?
1187
01:14:44,252 --> 01:14:48,154
Yeah, when I became a Secret Service
agent, they gave me a license.
1188
01:14:48,890 --> 01:14:50,687
Oh, I didn't know you were...
1189
01:14:53,462 --> 01:14:57,523
Okay, I didn't say it, all right?
Stop looking at me. God.
1190
01:14:58,633 --> 01:15:00,567
Did you know Kim carried a gun?
1191
01:15:00,635 --> 01:15:04,696
Yes. Now, do I approve? No.
1192
01:15:04,773 --> 01:15:06,798
Do I know? Yes.
1193
01:15:06,875 --> 01:15:10,538
Look, I don't know what
futuristic utopia you live in,
1194
01:15:10,612 --> 01:15:13,478
but the world I live in,
a bitch need a gun.
1195
01:15:13,547 --> 01:15:17,142
You can't get around the fact
that people who carry guns
1196
01:15:17,218 --> 01:15:19,948
tend to get shot
more than people who don't.
1197
01:15:20,020 --> 01:15:23,820
And you can't get around the fact
that if I go down to the laundry room
1198
01:15:23,891 --> 01:15:26,792
at midnight enough times,
I might get my ass raped.
1199
01:15:26,861 --> 01:15:28,556
Don't do your laundry at midnight.
1200
01:15:28,629 --> 01:15:32,326
Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry
whenever the fuck I want to.
1201
01:15:32,399 --> 01:15:36,665
There are other things you can carry
other than a gun. Pepper spray.
1202
01:15:36,737 --> 01:15:41,197
Uh, motherfucker trying to rape me,
I don't want to give him a skin rash.
1203
01:15:41,275 --> 01:15:43,072
I wanna shut that nigga down!
1204
01:15:44,945 --> 01:15:47,175
How about a knife, at least?
1205
01:15:47,247 --> 01:15:49,681
Yeah, you know what happens
to motherfuckers carry knives?
1206
01:15:51,584 --> 01:15:53,484
They get shot!
1207
01:15:53,553 --> 01:15:57,580
If I ever become a famous actress,
I won't carry a gun.
1208
01:15:57,657 --> 01:16:01,320
I'll hire me a do-dirt nigga and he'll
carry the gun, and when shit goes down,
1209
01:16:01,394 --> 01:16:04,795
I'll sit back and laugh,
but until that day, it's Wild West.
1210
01:16:04,864 --> 01:16:08,425
So Zoë, you thought about
what you want to do first?
1211
01:16:10,136 --> 01:16:13,765
It just so happens
I know exactly what I want to do.
1212
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:17,276
Oh, really?
And what would that be?
1213
01:16:17,343 --> 01:16:22,041
To me, there's no point in being in America
unless you can drive a Detroit muscle car.
1214
01:16:22,114 --> 01:16:26,380
I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger...
fuck me swinging, balls out.
1215
01:16:29,354 --> 01:16:31,914
Well, I guess we
could talk to Transpo,
1216
01:16:31,990 --> 01:16:34,390
but does it have to be
a Dodge Challenger?
1217
01:16:34,459 --> 01:16:38,953
Not just that. It has to be a 1970
Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine.
1218
01:16:42,935 --> 01:16:46,063
How in the fuck
do you expect to do that?
1219
01:16:46,138 --> 01:16:47,469
No worries, mate.
1220
01:16:47,539 --> 01:16:49,769
I've got it all worked out.
1221
01:16:49,842 --> 01:16:53,073
When I knew I was coming here,
I went online and found out
1222
01:16:53,145 --> 01:16:56,602
that the local paper here in Tennessee
is the Lebanon News Sentinel.
1223
01:16:56,681 --> 01:16:59,445
- So back home...
- I'm sorry, where's home? Australia?
1224
01:17:01,986 --> 01:17:04,181
What do you mean by that, mate?
1225
01:17:04,255 --> 01:17:07,315
Zoë's from New Zealand,
and you never...
1226
01:17:07,391 --> 01:17:10,849
I repeat, never...
call a Kiwi an Aussie.
1227
01:17:10,928 --> 01:17:13,624
That is, unless
you want your ass kicked.
1228
01:17:15,533 --> 01:17:17,330
I'm so sorry. I will nev...
1229
01:17:18,536 --> 01:17:20,094
Oh, it's okay.
1230
01:17:20,171 --> 01:17:23,265
We're just taking the piss
out of you, mate.
1231
01:17:23,341 --> 01:17:26,504
Auckland, to answer your question.
1232
01:17:26,577 --> 01:17:29,636
Anyway, I subscribed
to the local paper a month ago.
1233
01:17:29,713 --> 01:17:33,308
Why the fuck you want a local redneck
newspaper in New Zealand?
1234
01:17:33,383 --> 01:17:35,851
Pipe down and I'll tell you.
1235
01:17:35,919 --> 01:17:38,854
I've been getting the paper
and checking the classifieds,
1236
01:17:38,922 --> 01:17:40,514
looking at cars for sale,
1237
01:17:40,590 --> 01:17:45,254
so as of yesterday,
for sale in this town,
1238
01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:48,593
some dude is selling
a stock 1970 Dodge Challenger
1239
01:17:48,665 --> 01:17:52,431
with a 440 engine and a white paint job.
1240
01:17:52,502 --> 01:17:54,299
And you wanna buy it?
1241
01:17:55,572 --> 01:17:59,235
Kim, I may be stupid,
but I'm not bloody stupid.
1242
01:17:59,309 --> 01:18:03,335
I wanna say I wanna buy it
so he'll let me test-drive it.
1243
01:18:03,412 --> 01:18:06,540
A 1970 Dodge Challenger
with a white paint job?
1244
01:18:06,615 --> 01:18:08,173
Oh, uh, Kowalski!
1245
01:18:08,250 --> 01:18:12,016
Kowalski from Vanishing Point.
Mate, it's a fucking classic!
1246
01:18:12,087 --> 01:18:13,520
If I can get this guy
1247
01:18:13,589 --> 01:18:17,457
to let me drive it without him,
I will blow the doors off that bitch.
1248
01:18:17,526 --> 01:18:19,391
What's Vanishing Point?
1249
01:18:20,496 --> 01:18:22,464
What's Vanishing Point?
1250
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:25,500
Abs, I'm supposed
to be the illiterate one.
1251
01:18:25,567 --> 01:18:28,536
It's just one of the best
American movies ever made.
1252
01:18:28,604 --> 01:18:32,131
Actually, Zoë, most girls
wouldn't know Vanishing Point.
1253
01:18:33,175 --> 01:18:37,201
Excuse me. Most girls?
What the fuck are you two?
1254
01:18:37,278 --> 01:18:40,770
Yeah, well, we're gearheads.
Of course we watched it.
1255
01:18:40,848 --> 01:18:43,214
Y'all grew up watching
that Pretty in Pink shit.
1256
01:18:43,284 --> 01:18:45,616
Oh, I liked Pretty in Pink.
1257
01:18:45,687 --> 01:18:48,155
What, so you didn't watch
John Hughes movies?
1258
01:18:48,222 --> 01:18:52,249
Of course I did. I'm a girl.
But I also watched car shit, too...
1259
01:18:52,327 --> 01:18:55,023
Vanishing Point. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry.
1260
01:18:55,096 --> 01:18:56,654
- Gone in 60 Seconds...
- Oh...
1261
01:18:56,731 --> 01:18:59,700
The real one, not that
Angelina Jolie bullshit.
1262
01:18:59,767 --> 01:19:03,498
We have an outdoor theater in Auckland
that plays Vanishing Point.
1263
01:19:03,571 --> 01:19:06,267
Big Wednesday. all the classics.
1264
01:19:22,856 --> 01:19:24,756
What do you horny gals want?
1265
01:19:28,362 --> 01:19:31,661
Yeah, you got
a 1970 Dodge Challenger for sale?
1266
01:19:31,732 --> 01:19:33,199
Right up here, ladies.
1267
01:19:47,813 --> 01:19:50,873
This shit is off the fuckin' hook!
1268
01:19:50,950 --> 01:19:53,384
Fuckin' legendary, mate.
1269
01:19:55,621 --> 01:20:00,957
Sweet ass. Well, if you 'll excuse me,
I'd like to have a word with my associate.
1270
01:20:01,027 --> 01:20:02,517
You ladies take your time.
1271
01:20:09,368 --> 01:20:12,428
What are you waiting for?
Ask him to let you drive it by yourself.
1272
01:20:12,505 --> 01:20:15,099
I intend to, but first I need
to ask you something.
1273
01:20:15,174 --> 01:20:16,266
What?
1274
01:20:16,342 --> 01:20:20,869
If he lets us take it out on our own,
I wanna play Ship's Mast.
1275
01:20:21,613 --> 01:20:23,342
- Oh, hell, no!
- Keep it down!
1276
01:20:23,415 --> 01:20:25,349
Ain't no way I'm doing Ship's Mast.
1277
01:20:25,417 --> 01:20:26,611
- For Chrissakes...
- Don't blaspheme.
1278
01:20:26,684 --> 01:20:27,673
Sorry.
1279
01:20:27,752 --> 01:20:30,516
Now, what did you say
after the last time?
1280
01:20:30,588 --> 01:20:33,853
- Look, I know what I said.
- What did you say?
1281
01:20:33,925 --> 01:20:36,018
- I know I said we shouldn't...
- No.
1282
01:20:36,094 --> 01:20:39,086
You didn't say we shouldn't.
You said we ain't ever gonna do that again.
1283
01:20:39,164 --> 01:20:40,927
- But...
- But, my ass!
1284
01:20:40,999 --> 01:20:44,025
You said not only are we never
gonna play Ship's Mast again,
1285
01:20:44,102 --> 01:20:47,162
but you also said if you ever do
what you trying to do now,
1286
01:20:47,238 --> 01:20:52,140
to not only refuse, but that I had permission
to physically restrain your ass if necessary.
1287
01:20:52,209 --> 01:20:54,905
Now, did you or did you not say that?
1288
01:20:54,978 --> 01:20:58,243
No, no, no.
Answer the question, motherfucker.
1289
01:20:58,315 --> 01:21:01,751
- Did you or did you not say that?
- Yes, I said that.
1290
01:21:01,819 --> 01:21:03,753
- However...
- Whatever with your "however."
1291
01:21:03,821 --> 01:21:07,757
Look, I know I said it,
and I know I meant it...
1292
01:21:07,825 --> 01:21:09,053
Damn skippy you meant it!
1293
01:21:09,126 --> 01:21:11,822
But when I said it,
I didn't mean in America!
1294
01:21:11,895 --> 01:21:13,920
- Oh, nigga, please.
- For real. Really.
1295
01:21:13,997 --> 01:21:18,024
I meant we should never play Ship's Mast
again in New Zealand or Australia.
1296
01:21:18,102 --> 01:21:19,797
You are such a liar!
1297
01:21:19,870 --> 01:21:25,467
I know what I said, but when I said it
I didn't know I'd ever come to America,
1298
01:21:25,542 --> 01:21:28,942
and if I had of known
I was gonna come to America,
1299
01:21:29,011 --> 01:21:32,674
had the opportunity to play Ship's Mast
on the Vanishing Point Challenger...
1300
01:21:32,748 --> 01:21:34,875
I would have added a "however."
1301
01:21:35,651 --> 01:21:36,640
Right?
1302
01:21:42,125 --> 01:21:44,389
Okay, oddly enough,
I actually understood that.
1303
01:21:44,460 --> 01:21:49,329
However, just because
you talked yourself into some stupid shit
1304
01:21:49,398 --> 01:21:51,525
doesn't mean I have lost
my goddamn mind.
1305
01:21:51,601 --> 01:21:54,832
You need two people to play Ship's Mast,
and I ain't playing.
1306
01:22:02,377 --> 01:22:04,504
I'll be your best friend.
1307
01:22:04,579 --> 01:22:07,480
I don't need me no best friend
lives on the other side of Planet Earth.
1308
01:22:07,549 --> 01:22:08,846
I'll crack your back.
1309
01:22:08,917 --> 01:22:10,384
You 'll crack it anyway.
1310
01:22:10,452 --> 01:22:13,182
Well, of course I'll crack it anyway.
1311
01:22:13,255 --> 01:22:16,918
But now, while I'm here,
I'll be your back-cracking slave.
1312
01:22:16,992 --> 01:22:19,688
Whenever you want it, you 've got it.
You don't even have to ask.
1313
01:22:19,761 --> 01:22:23,219
You just order me to do it, just be like,
"Bitch, get over here and get busy."
1314
01:22:30,438 --> 01:22:34,874
You crack my back, give me foot massages,
and after a shower, you moisturize my butt.
1315
01:22:36,143 --> 01:22:37,132
Deal.
1316
01:22:38,946 --> 01:22:41,744
We're gonna see if this guy'll let us
take the car out without him.
1317
01:22:41,815 --> 01:22:44,807
If he does, you wait here with Lee
and we'll be back in a moment.
1318
01:22:45,386 --> 01:22:46,375
What?
1319
01:22:46,453 --> 01:22:50,856
- I said we're gonna see if this guy'll let...
- I heard what you said.
1320
01:22:50,925 --> 01:22:54,326
I just can't believe
what you said.
1321
01:22:55,663 --> 01:22:57,460
You two got some fuckin' balls.
1322
01:22:57,531 --> 01:22:58,964
What?
1323
01:22:59,033 --> 01:23:00,523
Don't play dumbass with me.
1324
01:23:00,601 --> 01:23:05,595
I've been up all night, I'm still a little drunk,
and I have a hangover.
1325
01:23:05,673 --> 01:23:09,369
I should be in my hotel room, asleep,
not fuckin' around on Tobacco Road,
1326
01:23:09,442 --> 01:23:13,242
but because Zoë wanted to drive
some Vanishing Point car, I'm here.
1327
01:23:13,313 --> 01:23:17,272
Now you two got the balls to ask me...
no, scratch that... tell me
1328
01:23:17,350 --> 01:23:21,844
I gotta go make conversation with Tom Joad
while the cool kids get to go out and play?
1329
01:23:21,921 --> 01:23:23,718
Bullshit on that.
1330
01:23:23,790 --> 01:23:25,815
- It ain't like that.
- What's it like, Kim?
1331
01:23:25,892 --> 01:23:29,794
You guys are our collateral.
He's never gonna go for it if we all go.
1332
01:23:29,862 --> 01:23:33,525
I really think one human being
will be collateral enough.
1333
01:23:34,367 --> 01:23:36,335
You 're not gonna
want to do what we're doing.
1334
01:23:36,402 --> 01:23:37,733
What, drive a car?
1335
01:23:38,771 --> 01:23:39,863
We're doing more than that.
1336
01:23:39,939 --> 01:23:41,633
What, drive it fast?
1337
01:23:43,041 --> 01:23:44,702
We're doing more than that.
1338
01:23:44,776 --> 01:23:49,338
Actually, we're paying you a compliment,
'cause we gonna do some stupid shit.
1339
01:23:51,216 --> 01:23:53,810
But that's okay. We're stunt people.
We ain't got good sense.
1340
01:23:53,885 --> 01:23:56,319
But you got good sense,
and anybody with good sense
1341
01:23:56,388 --> 01:23:59,357
- ain't gonna want to do what we're doing.
- How do you know?
1342
01:23:59,424 --> 01:24:01,483
'Cause you 're a mum.
1343
01:24:01,560 --> 01:24:02,857
Yeah.
1344
01:24:05,530 --> 01:24:08,363
You know, we're supposed
to be this big posse,
1345
01:24:08,433 --> 01:24:12,335
but that's the excuse you guys use
whenever you want to exclude me,
1346
01:24:12,404 --> 01:24:15,270
so what is it you two daredevils are doing
1347
01:24:15,339 --> 01:24:19,605
that I'm just so uncool
I couldn't possibly understand?
1348
01:24:19,677 --> 01:24:22,077
You know, we're kind of conning this guy,
1349
01:24:22,146 --> 01:24:25,843
so maybe it's best if we don't go
into detail about it while he's watching us.
1350
01:24:25,916 --> 01:24:26,905
Besides...
1351
01:24:28,252 --> 01:24:30,812
he's probably not gonna
let us do it, anyway.
1352
01:24:33,691 --> 01:24:36,785
Okay, how about this?
1353
01:24:37,595 --> 01:24:40,758
I'll talk him into it,
but I go along.
1354
01:24:41,932 --> 01:24:44,730
- How you gonna do that?
- That's my problem.
1355
01:24:45,503 --> 01:24:46,663
But don't worry.
1356
01:24:47,538 --> 01:24:49,596
He'll say yes.
1357
01:24:49,673 --> 01:24:51,800
What are you gonna do, blow him?
1358
01:24:51,875 --> 01:24:53,035
No.
1359
01:24:54,411 --> 01:24:56,936
I'm gonna insinuate
that Lee's gonna blow him.
1360
01:25:01,117 --> 01:25:02,812
That's a good one.
1361
01:25:02,886 --> 01:25:04,251
Not really.
1362
01:25:05,288 --> 01:25:08,587
But let me handle it.
We got a deal?
1363
01:25:12,929 --> 01:25:14,328
Okay, Mama, listen up.
1364
01:25:14,397 --> 01:25:18,128
You wanna hang with the cool kids?
You got to be cool.
1365
01:25:18,201 --> 01:25:21,034
We take you along, you don't say shit.
You don't even say crap.
1366
01:25:21,104 --> 01:25:24,129
You just sit in the back, and I don't want
to hear a peep, you understand?
1367
01:25:24,206 --> 01:25:25,605
- Got it.
- I'm serious, now.
1368
01:25:25,674 --> 01:25:29,508
You start nagging us, we pulling over,
kicking you out, and picking you up later.
1369
01:25:29,578 --> 01:25:30,909
Agreed.
1370
01:25:34,983 --> 01:25:38,009
Okay. Go work your magic.
1371
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:46,152
- Hello, sir.
- Hello.
1372
01:25:46,228 --> 01:25:47,855
- Hello, what's your name?
- Jasper.
1373
01:25:47,930 --> 01:25:49,625
Hello, Jasper, I'm Abernathy.
1374
01:25:49,698 --> 01:25:51,325
- Aber what?
- Abernathy.
1375
01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:53,800
- What's your first name?
- That is my first name.
1376
01:25:53,869 --> 01:25:57,235
- What kind of first name is that?
- Just call me Abbie.
1377
01:25:57,305 --> 01:25:58,863
Okay, Abbie.
1378
01:26:00,007 --> 01:26:03,636
Jasper, we were wondering
if my friends and I could take the car out
1379
01:26:03,711 --> 01:26:06,737
for a little test drive out on our own,
just to see if we're comfortable.
1380
01:26:06,814 --> 01:26:08,577
Why would I do something
stupid like that?
1381
01:26:08,649 --> 01:26:10,981
To better sell your automobile.
1382
01:26:11,052 --> 01:26:13,247
How do I know y'all ain't
just gonna steal it?
1383
01:26:13,321 --> 01:26:15,255
Four reasons, actually.
1384
01:26:15,323 --> 01:26:20,056
One, we're not thieves,
two, that would be rude,
1385
01:26:20,128 --> 01:26:22,790
three, we're staying
at the Days Inn in town...
1386
01:26:22,864 --> 01:26:26,459
you can call, check with management.
We're registered for the next month.
1387
01:26:26,534 --> 01:26:31,197
Actually, Zoë's not, but Kim and I are,
so we're totally track-downable.
1388
01:26:31,271 --> 01:26:33,000
Who's Kim? The colored girl?
1389
01:26:33,807 --> 01:26:37,402
Yes. Kim would be the girl of color.
1390
01:26:37,477 --> 01:26:39,877
And reason number four...
and the most important:
1391
01:26:39,946 --> 01:26:42,881
while we're taking the car out
for a little spin,
1392
01:26:42,949 --> 01:26:47,386
that'll give you a better opportunity
to get acquainted with our other friend...
1393
01:26:48,255 --> 01:26:49,415
Lee.
1394
01:26:52,692 --> 01:26:54,819
Why does she look
kind of familiar?
1395
01:26:54,895 --> 01:26:57,887
That would be because
she's a famous actress.
1396
01:26:57,964 --> 01:26:58,953
Hmm.
1397
01:26:59,933 --> 01:27:01,423
Why's she dressed like that?
1398
01:27:01,501 --> 01:27:04,663
Well, you see, we're making
a Hollywood movie in town,
1399
01:27:04,737 --> 01:27:07,672
and it's a cheerleader movie,
and she's one of the cheerleaders.
1400
01:27:07,740 --> 01:27:09,401
What's a cheerleader movie?
1401
01:27:09,475 --> 01:27:11,238
A movie about cheerleaders.
1402
01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:13,706
Is it a porno movie?
1403
01:27:15,481 --> 01:27:22,080
Yes, it is, but don't mention it. She's shy.
1404
01:27:25,691 --> 01:27:28,421
Lee, this is Jasper.
Jasper, Lee.
1405
01:27:28,494 --> 01:27:31,224
Now, you two kids
stay out of trouble.
1406
01:27:31,297 --> 01:27:34,289
Hey, good-looking.
Be back to pick you up later.
1407
01:27:34,366 --> 01:27:35,697
Ta-ta!
1408
01:27:46,044 --> 01:27:47,477
Gulp.
1409
01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,459
You thinking what I'm thinking?
1410
01:28:05,129 --> 01:28:06,528
I think I'm thinking it.
1411
01:28:06,598 --> 01:28:08,088
What are you and you thinking?
1412
01:28:08,166 --> 01:28:11,499
I'm thinking we told your ass
to shut the fuck up.
1413
01:28:14,171 --> 01:28:16,264
- Where y'all going?
- You stay put.
1414
01:28:16,340 --> 01:28:17,671
I gotta take a...
1415
01:28:34,992 --> 01:28:36,789
So, you ready to do this?
1416
01:28:38,328 --> 01:28:39,386
You sure?
1417
01:28:39,463 --> 01:28:44,127
Well, I always don't want to do it
right before I'm gonna do it.
1418
01:28:44,201 --> 01:28:46,634
I know what you mean,
'cause I don't wanna do it.
1419
01:28:46,702 --> 01:28:47,828
Kim!
1420
01:28:47,904 --> 01:28:50,566
- I'm just saying.
- If you 're gonna take the piss out of it...
1421
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:52,301
I'm just saying.
1422
01:28:53,743 --> 01:28:55,370
You wanna start out on top?
1423
01:28:56,812 --> 01:29:00,145
Practically doesn't count
if you start on the top.
1424
01:29:05,621 --> 01:29:06,815
Here are your gloves.
1425
01:29:13,996 --> 01:29:16,521
No, no, no, no.
I'm wearing a jacket.
1426
01:29:16,599 --> 01:29:18,362
This is my jacket.
1427
01:29:18,434 --> 01:29:21,732
Um, ain't you supposed to be
my slave or some shit?
1428
01:29:22,837 --> 01:29:26,068
- Come on.
- I'm the one who's on the bonnet.
1429
01:29:26,141 --> 01:29:28,632
Bonnet, my ass.
You on the hood.
1430
01:29:37,953 --> 01:29:40,251
Y'all, I think I hear a car coming.
1431
01:29:40,322 --> 01:29:41,516
Give me your belt.
1432
01:29:45,961 --> 01:29:51,297
This is my cute shit.
Fuck that. Get Abernathy's belt.
1433
01:29:53,134 --> 01:29:54,964
Fine, we'll use Abbie's belt.
1434
01:30:00,307 --> 01:30:03,105
- Give me your belt.
- No. Prada.
1435
01:30:03,177 --> 01:30:04,804
Come on, give her the belt.
1436
01:30:04,878 --> 01:30:08,609
- Magic word.
- Please give her the belt?
1437
01:30:09,650 --> 01:30:11,140
Just 'cause you asked nicely.
1438
01:30:13,854 --> 01:30:15,754
It's nice to be nice, Kim!
1439
01:30:15,823 --> 01:30:17,654
Whatever.
1440
01:30:17,725 --> 01:30:22,128
You know what?
Don't think about asking me to do your hair.
1441
01:30:22,196 --> 01:30:24,630
- Your ass gonna do it.
- You 'll ask "pretty please," bitch,
1442
01:30:24,698 --> 01:30:27,564
because that's what you do when no one
else is looking. You ain't that hard.
1443
01:30:27,634 --> 01:30:29,568
- I ain't getting...
- Abernathy.
1444
01:30:29,636 --> 01:30:31,627
Don't get on my nerves right now.
1445
01:30:31,704 --> 01:30:34,138
- I got shit on my mind.
Ooh!
1446
01:30:34,207 --> 01:30:36,300
You know, I ain't six.
1447
01:30:49,255 --> 01:30:51,621
It's cold. Can we roll up
one of these windows?
1448
01:30:51,691 --> 01:30:52,885
KIM and ZOË: No.
1449
01:30:54,427 --> 01:30:57,157
Okay, Abernathy. Check this out.
1450
01:31:08,940 --> 01:31:10,669
What the fuck are you guys doing?
1451
01:31:19,885 --> 01:31:21,318
What does that mean?
1452
01:31:23,355 --> 01:31:25,846
Whoa!
1453
01:31:29,795 --> 01:31:33,162
Faster, you black bitch! Faster!
1454
01:31:40,471 --> 01:31:42,769
That fast enough for your bony ass?
1455
01:31:42,840 --> 01:31:44,569
Whoo-hoo!
1456
01:31:44,642 --> 01:31:47,202
Whoa ho ho ho!
1457
01:31:47,278 --> 01:31:48,267
Oh!
1458
01:31:50,614 --> 01:31:53,105
Abernathy, get your ass up here.
1459
01:31:57,755 --> 01:32:00,918
Whoa! Whoo-hoo!
1460
01:32:00,991 --> 01:32:02,583
Alrighty.
1461
01:32:02,660 --> 01:32:04,821
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1462
01:32:17,307 --> 01:32:18,774
Go, go! Go!
1463
01:32:18,842 --> 01:32:21,538
Check it out, bitch.
You want it fucking faster?
1464
01:32:35,925 --> 01:32:37,153
Whoo-hoo!
1465
01:32:37,227 --> 01:32:39,195
Yah hoo hoo!
1466
01:32:39,262 --> 01:32:40,251
##
1467
01:32:48,203 --> 01:32:50,296
Yah hoo hoo!
1468
01:33:37,051 --> 01:33:40,748
- Oh, my God.
- What the fuck? Shit.
1469
01:33:47,028 --> 01:33:47,756
Damn it!
1470
01:33:56,736 --> 01:33:57,862
Now.
1471
01:33:59,206 --> 01:34:01,538
Did you do something to him?
Say something?
1472
01:34:01,608 --> 01:34:03,803
Nothing! Shit.
1473
01:34:03,877 --> 01:34:05,674
Here he comes, Zoë.
He's coming!
1474
01:34:05,745 --> 01:34:06,837
Aah!
1475
01:34:09,082 --> 01:34:10,310
Shit, oh shit!
1476
01:34:10,383 --> 01:34:11,816
No!
1477
01:34:12,686 --> 01:34:14,051
Hold on, Zoë!
1478
01:34:23,296 --> 01:34:25,229
Oh, my God. Zoë!
1479
01:34:25,464 --> 01:34:27,659
- Oh! Hold on!
- I can't!
1480
01:34:31,470 --> 01:34:33,199
Fuck you, motherfucker!
1481
01:34:34,907 --> 01:34:38,240
Zoë! Zoë!
1482
01:34:38,310 --> 01:34:41,711
- I'm sorry I called you a black bitch!
- I forgive you. Hold the fuck on!
1483
01:34:41,780 --> 01:34:43,907
Whoa, whoa, get away!
1484
01:34:46,252 --> 01:34:48,914
Oh, shit.
I can't see. I can't see!
1485
01:34:48,988 --> 01:34:50,319
Zoë, move your leg!
1486
01:34:54,093 --> 01:34:56,027
Oh! Come on, come on!
1487
01:34:59,564 --> 01:35:03,091
Redneck lunatic bastard!
Get away from me!
1488
01:35:03,167 --> 01:35:04,156
fucking legs!
1489
01:35:08,740 --> 01:35:10,765
Oh, my God.
1490
01:35:21,019 --> 01:35:23,920
Shit, I'm scared, Kim.
I'm really scared.
1491
01:35:23,988 --> 01:35:25,421
I know, baby, just hold on.
1492
01:35:25,490 --> 01:35:27,355
Watch your feet!
1493
01:35:29,827 --> 01:35:31,055
You wanna get hot?
1494
01:35:31,129 --> 01:35:32,993
- Fucking son of a bitch!
- You wanna get hot?
1495
01:35:34,164 --> 01:35:36,564
Then suck on this for a while, bitch!
1496
01:35:39,636 --> 01:35:42,070
Zoë! Goddamn it!
1497
01:36:08,064 --> 01:36:10,760
Oh, my God. Get away from us,
you cocksucker!
1498
01:36:10,833 --> 01:36:12,300
Leave us alone!
1499
01:36:12,368 --> 01:36:15,633
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Fuck you!
1500
01:36:19,942 --> 01:36:22,809
Zoë! Zoë! Oh, Zoë!
1501
01:36:24,046 --> 01:36:25,775
Hold on!
1502
01:36:47,902 --> 01:36:49,301
Zoë! Zoë!
1503
01:36:57,412 --> 01:36:58,504
Look out!
1504
01:37:27,074 --> 01:37:29,804
Get ready to fly, bitch.
1505
01:37:33,647 --> 01:37:35,308
- Zoë!
- Zoë, hold on!
1506
01:37:42,256 --> 01:37:44,190
He's right on your fucking ass!
1507
01:38:00,073 --> 01:38:01,665
Hey! Whoo-hoo!
1508
01:38:02,575 --> 01:38:06,341
Hey, ladies, that was fun.
1509
01:38:10,716 --> 01:38:13,207
Well, adios.
1510
01:38:13,286 --> 01:38:15,550
Ow! Fuck!
1511
01:38:16,989 --> 01:38:18,422
Shit! Fuck!
1512
01:38:20,159 --> 01:38:22,718
Run away with your ass!
1513
01:38:23,862 --> 01:38:26,023
You better run, motherfucker!
1514
01:38:31,536 --> 01:38:33,163
That bitch!
1515
01:38:49,020 --> 01:38:50,146
I'm okay!
1516
01:38:50,222 --> 01:38:53,453
Oh, shit! Goddamn it!
1517
01:38:53,525 --> 01:38:56,084
Oh, you fuckin' bitch!
1518
01:38:56,160 --> 01:38:59,823
Of course you are.
Of course you are. What was I thinking?
1519
01:39:01,165 --> 01:39:04,225
What was I thinking?
Zoë, the fucking cat!
1520
01:39:08,339 --> 01:39:10,307
Whew. That was a close one.
1521
01:39:13,677 --> 01:39:16,441
So, where's the maniac?
1522
01:39:16,514 --> 01:39:19,381
I shot him and his punk ass sped off.
1523
01:39:20,484 --> 01:39:22,748
You wanna go get him?
1524
01:39:22,820 --> 01:39:24,845
Oh, hell yeah!
1525
01:39:24,922 --> 01:39:25,911
Honey...
1526
01:39:26,790 --> 01:39:28,757
I think you might want to get out.
1527
01:39:29,893 --> 01:39:31,360
Fuck that shit.
1528
01:39:32,595 --> 01:39:34,495
Let's kill this bastard.
1529
01:39:36,466 --> 01:39:38,832
Okay, get your ass in the back.
Let's go.
1530
01:39:45,008 --> 01:39:46,498
Where the fuck you going?
1531
01:39:46,576 --> 01:39:47,565
I'll be back!
1532
01:39:55,885 --> 01:39:58,615
This'll smart. Sweet. Let's go.
1533
01:39:58,688 --> 01:40:02,453
Oh, fuck yeah, bitch.
Come on. Bring that shit.
1534
01:40:04,626 --> 01:40:05,888
Giddy-up, then!
1535
01:40:14,203 --> 01:40:15,636
Yeah!
1536
01:40:46,834 --> 01:40:48,028
God!
1537
01:40:59,513 --> 01:41:02,004
Come on! Come on.
1538
01:41:10,757 --> 01:41:15,558
Why? Oh, no!
1539
01:41:20,867 --> 01:41:22,357
Ah! Do it.
1540
01:41:23,370 --> 01:41:24,769
Do it.
1541
01:41:24,938 --> 01:41:25,927
Do it.
1542
01:41:31,478 --> 01:41:34,413
Oh, no!
1543
01:41:34,481 --> 01:41:36,642
No, no, no!
1544
01:41:36,716 --> 01:41:38,707
No, God!
1545
01:41:39,352 --> 01:41:41,377
All right, get it together, man.
1546
01:41:43,657 --> 01:41:46,216
What did you...
what am l... what are you gonna do?
1547
01:41:52,631 --> 01:41:54,098
Take him down!
1548
01:41:57,603 --> 01:42:00,504
Now where do you think you 're going?
Fuckin' fuck you!
1549
01:42:00,572 --> 01:42:02,472
Where do you think
you 're fucking going?
1550
01:42:02,541 --> 01:42:04,406
What the fuck do you think...
1551
01:42:07,880 --> 01:42:08,869
Come here!
1552
01:42:16,455 --> 01:42:17,444
Go!
1553
01:42:19,757 --> 01:42:21,315
Whoo-hoo!
1554
01:42:24,429 --> 01:42:27,296
What's wrong with your ass,
motherfucking cocksucker?
1555
01:42:33,304 --> 01:42:37,502
Oh, you 're gonna wiggle your ass at me,
gonna wiggle it at me?
1556
01:42:37,575 --> 01:42:41,978
Oh, don't like it up the ass, do you,
you redneck lunatic bastard?
1557
01:42:42,046 --> 01:42:43,274
Aah!
1558
01:42:43,348 --> 01:42:48,342
Oh, yeah, gonna bust a nut
up in this bitch right now!
1559
01:42:48,419 --> 01:42:52,787
Oh, I'm the horniest motherfucker
on the road!
1560
01:42:54,424 --> 01:42:56,153
Boo-yah, bitch!
1561
01:43:01,131 --> 01:43:04,294
Did you just hit a boat?
1562
01:43:07,304 --> 01:43:09,135
Yeah, come on, Kim, get him!
1563
01:43:09,206 --> 01:43:10,366
Get that motherfucker!
1564
01:43:11,074 --> 01:43:14,043
Forget about the cows, motherfucker!
Move, motherfucker, move!
1565
01:43:15,879 --> 01:43:17,369
Motherfucker!
1566
01:43:17,447 --> 01:43:20,348
I'm 'bout to bust a nut up
in this bitch...
1567
01:43:28,924 --> 01:43:31,256
Watch it, watch it.
1568
01:43:37,133 --> 01:43:38,828
# Tapping that ass
tapping that ass #
1569
01:43:38,901 --> 01:43:40,562
# Tapping that tapping that tapping... #
1570
01:43:40,636 --> 01:43:43,196
Aah!
1571
01:43:48,344 --> 01:43:49,470
Bastard.
1572
01:44:04,259 --> 01:44:06,784
Oh, you know I can't let you go...
1573
01:44:07,796 --> 01:44:10,424
without tapping that ass.
1574
01:44:10,498 --> 01:44:12,398
Oh, fuck me!
1575
01:44:12,467 --> 01:44:14,196
- One...
- Kim?
1576
01:44:14,269 --> 01:44:16,260
...more...
- Kim?
1577
01:44:16,337 --> 01:44:17,804
...time!
1578
01:44:17,872 --> 01:44:19,999
Boo-yah!
1579
01:44:23,845 --> 01:44:27,542
That's what I'm talking...
that's what I'm talking about, bitch!
1580
01:45:28,207 --> 01:45:29,799
Oh, come on!
1581
01:46:00,605 --> 01:46:01,594
Yah!
1582
01:46:09,848 --> 01:46:13,147
Yah ha ha, come on!
1583
01:46:13,218 --> 01:46:16,880
Thought you lost us, motherfucker.
We back, motherfucker. We back.
1584
01:46:16,954 --> 01:46:19,013
Who's laughing now, bitch!
1585
01:46:21,425 --> 01:46:22,414
Shit.
1586
01:46:26,263 --> 01:46:27,252
Come on!
1587
01:46:28,499 --> 01:46:32,595
Here's Cha Cha!
1588
01:46:32,670 --> 01:46:34,570
You 've been such a lunatic bastard!
1589
01:46:34,638 --> 01:46:36,367
I'm sorry!
1590
01:46:36,440 --> 01:46:37,429
What?
1591
01:46:37,508 --> 01:46:41,569
I didn't mean anything.
I was just playing around.
1592
01:46:41,645 --> 01:46:44,910
Oh, he was just playing around!
1593
01:46:44,982 --> 01:46:47,507
- Just playing!
- Well, I ain't playing with you!
1594
01:46:47,585 --> 01:46:49,017
Whoa!
1595
01:46:53,756 --> 01:46:55,917
Oh, look out, look out, look out.
1596
01:47:04,000 --> 01:47:06,230
What's your sign?
1597
01:47:06,302 --> 01:47:07,291
Oh, shit!
1598
01:47:10,607 --> 01:47:12,438
Oh, shit.
1599
01:47:12,508 --> 01:47:15,375
Don't run, don't run,
motherfucker, don't run.
1600
01:47:15,445 --> 01:47:16,969
This baby's on speed!
1601
01:47:24,152 --> 01:47:25,585
Whoa!
1602
01:47:26,955 --> 01:47:29,253
- Aah!
- Yeah, yeah!
1603
01:47:33,295 --> 01:47:34,922
Yeah!
1604
01:47:34,997 --> 01:47:38,330
Jesus fucking Christ,
it's about time.
1605
01:47:53,582 --> 01:47:55,743
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1606
01:47:58,319 --> 01:47:59,684
Please don't dead-end.
1607
01:47:59,854 --> 01:48:01,253
Please don't dead end.
1608
01:48:01,389 --> 01:48:02,788
Please don't dead-end.
1609
01:48:03,557 --> 01:48:05,047
Please don't dead-end.
1610
01:48:05,192 --> 01:48:06,181
Please don't dead-end.
1611
01:48:06,360 --> 01:48:08,157
Please don't dead-end.
1612
01:48:08,329 --> 01:48:09,557
Please don't dead-end.
1613
01:48:09,697 --> 01:48:11,096
Please don't dead-end.
1614
01:48:11,165 --> 01:48:12,962
Oh, there the motherfucker is.
1615
01:48:13,034 --> 01:48:14,023
Go, go, go!
1616
01:48:14,101 --> 01:48:15,534
Get him, get him, get him!
1617
01:48:15,603 --> 01:48:16,797
Unh!
1618
01:48:33,019 --> 01:48:34,714
Oh, help me!
1619
01:48:46,499 --> 01:48:48,296
Be careful. My right arm's broken.
1620
01:48:48,368 --> 01:48:49,357
This one?
1621
01:48:52,739 --> 01:48:54,536
Oh, you want some shit?
1622
01:48:54,607 --> 01:48:56,734
Motherfucker, kiss my fucking ass.
1623
01:49:00,447 --> 01:49:01,641
Uhn!
1624
01:49:05,284 --> 01:49:06,182
Yah!
1625
01:49:11,990 --> 01:49:13,321
Mother... fucker!
1626
01:49:13,859 --> 01:49:15,656
Motherfucker!
1627
01:49:20,566 --> 01:49:21,555
Asshole!