1
00:00:05,012 --> 00:00:07,817
Look at all of the makeup Bridget
bought. Can you believe it?

2
00:00:07,820 --> 00:00:10,634
Look; $14 for whatever this is.

3
00:00:10,637 --> 00:00:12,089
Eyelash curler.

4
00:00:12,598 --> 00:00:15,101
And thank heavens
she got more lip junk.

5
00:00:15,163 --> 00:00:16,684
Lip gloss.

6
00:00:17,879 --> 00:00:20,949
Rory, there's a ball game
on channel seven. Watch it.

7
00:00:22,358 --> 00:00:24,738
Hey, guys.
Hey, Care Bear; Look at this, this..

8
00:00:24,741 --> 00:00:26,970
You know, not now, Dad. I have
to get ready for my date with Kyle.

9
00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:29,188
Wait, that's your stuff?
I can't believe it's already so late.

10
00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:31,171
I still have to straighten
my hair, crimp my eyelashes..

11
00:00:31,194 --> 00:00:32,967
...create cheekbones out
of practically nothing.

12
00:00:32,970 --> 00:00:36,538
Which is totally your fault; Flat faced!

13
00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:42,266
Flat.. Flat.. I do not
have a flat face. Come on!

14
00:00:46,616 --> 00:00:48,651
Well, anyone looks flat in a toaster.

15
00:00:48,654 --> 00:00:51,975
Look Kerry, I've got to tell
you something in all seriousness

16
00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:54,973
Ever since you started
dating Kyle; You've changed!

17
00:00:54,998 --> 00:00:57,256
- You're different. You're more..
- More Bridgetty.

18
00:00:57,295 --> 00:01:00,482
Rory! You're more 'Bridgetesque'.

19
00:01:01,138 --> 00:01:03,654
You know, how could you
compare me to Bridget?

20
00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:05,864
Where's my new sparkle lip gloss.

21
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:07,481
Okay, I know I bought
new sparkle lip gloss.

22
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,237
Oh my God, where's my
new sparkle lip gloss?!

23
00:01:09,239 --> 00:01:11,411
- Is this it?
- He touched it all over.

24
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:18,364
- I miss the old Kerry.
- The depressed one without a boyfriend?

25
00:01:18,982 --> 00:01:20,216
Yeah.

26
00:01:22,444 --> 00:01:24,972
Ahh...Why do bad things always happen to me?

27
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:27,630
Bridget, nothing bad
ever happens to you.

28
00:01:27,633 --> 00:01:32,460
Buff... Oh yeah. But today, I heard
mom is gonna teach 'Sex Ed'.

29
00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:34,296
In my class.
It's true.

30
00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:37,288
Dad, why do bad things happen to
superficial people?

31
00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:40,958
- Rory!!  - I don't know but I know why
 bad things happen to smart alecks.

32
00:01:41,537 --> 00:01:47,154
'Smart aleck'? You know,
words hurt, Dad. Flat face!

33
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,858
- So what, you're teaching Sex Education?
- Oh Yeah.

34
00:01:51,889 --> 00:01:56,076
The school needed a nurse to fill in
because Miss Callahan got the 'flu.'

35
00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:58,881
Really? I heard she got knocked up.

36
00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:03,234
So you just say 'yes' without
even totally considering

37
00:02:03,259 --> 00:02:04,988
how it could completely ruin my life?

38
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,354
Bridget I think it's an honor your mother
is going to teach you Sexual Education.

39
00:02:08,357 --> 00:02:10,278
After all, she taught me.

40
00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:13,021
Eww..

41
00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:14,881
Eww

42
00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:18,350
Do you guys not understand
what situation I'm in here?

43
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,193
I mean, Donny Doyle's coming
in this weekend to see me.

44
00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:20,757
So?

45
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,020
So, people already perceive my
dating Donny as a slap in the face.

46
00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:25,011
I mean, you know "He's older", "He goes to
the Naval Academy" instead of a school.

47
00:02:25,013 --> 00:02:26,602
And then Danielle's going to this
party this weekend, and she's all.

48
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,392
'You better be there' and I'm, 'Yeah' but
Donny's, 'No, I don't wanna share you, '

49
00:02:29,394 --> 00:02:31,927
which is actually very sweet,
but that's just the sort of thing.

50
00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:34,342
Danielle's gonna use against
me, and then, You! Have to go..

51
00:02:34,345 --> 00:02:37,007
...and exacerbate the whole thing
by teaching 'Sex ed' at my school.

52
00:02:40,191 --> 00:02:43,136
On the bright side, she
did say 'exacerbate.'

53
00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:47,531
Yeah, honey, I think you're blowing
this whole thing out of proportion.

54
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,960
You wanna weigh in here, Paul?

55
00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:56,158
Look, it's just two classes.

56
00:02:56,197 --> 00:03:00,338
And I will try very hard not to draw
attention to the fact that I'm your mom.

57
00:03:01,174 --> 00:03:03,760
And that's how Bridget was born!

58
00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:26,927
♪ ♪

59
00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:36,549
This movie sounds good. 'High
octane butt kicking from start to finish'

60
00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:41,767
Far be it from me to disagree with 'Jeff
Paisley' from the 'Shreveport Town Crier'

61
00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:47,026
But I really wanted to see:
[French title]

62
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,665
It means, 'Love is the
water of the heart.'

63
00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:52,147
That doesn't sound as
full of high octane.

64
00:03:52,788 --> 00:03:57,616
Come on, Kyle. It's made by this really
amazing avant garde French director.

65
00:03:57,725 --> 00:04:01,853
He uses silence in a way that
it almost becomes a character.

66
00:04:02,552 --> 00:04:06,635
This guy? He uses his
butt cheeks to talk.

67
00:04:08,454 --> 00:04:10,141
We can't even agree on a movie.

68
00:04:10,174 --> 00:04:12,346
Sometimes I feel like we
have nothing in common.

69
00:04:12,349 --> 00:04:15,768
Yeah. I know what you mean.

70
00:04:16,394 --> 00:04:18,620
Wanna make out?
Sure.

71
00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:21,464
Whoa.. Hey, Lord
of the Manor present.

72
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,933
We weren't doing anything..
Oh my God, Dad do you have to-

73
00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:25,808
Walk in on you and your boyfriend?
Yes.

74
00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:27,785
Do I have to call that
your 'boyfriend'? Yes.

75
00:04:27,825 --> 00:04:30,547
Do I have to torture
you with a dance like..

76
00:04:31,726 --> 00:04:33,766
Instead of leaving you alone? No..

77
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,664
But you did call me a
'Flat face'.

78
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:37,794
You still here?

79
00:04:37,797 --> 00:04:39,586
No.
Thank you.

80
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,851
Call me later.

81
00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:45,457
So, Care Bear, I hear you're interested
in seeing that new French movie.

82
00:04:45,496 --> 00:04:48,223
How long were you standing there?
Don't worry, I had a chair.

83
00:04:48,276 --> 00:04:52,542
Listen, I was thinking, you know what
might be fun is if, we sort of saw

84
00:04:52,545 --> 00:04:55,675
that movie together tonight. Sort of
a "Father Daughter Foreign Film Night".

85
00:04:55,677 --> 00:04:56,902
I'd rather stay home.

86
00:04:56,933 --> 00:05:01,073
Good! Hey Kerry, we're going to have a
"Father Daughter Stay At Home Dance Night".

87
00:05:01,105 --> 00:05:05,071
Yeah.. Get your groove on!!

88
00:05:05,074 --> 00:05:08,465
OK, okay.. We'll go to the
movie! Just stop doing that!

89
00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:10,624
Works every time!

90
00:05:11,258 --> 00:05:12,822
Hey, Cate!
Oh, Hi honey.

91
00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:15,169
Kerry and I are going to see a
foreign film tonight.

92
00:05:15,242 --> 00:05:16,525
Ohh.. That's so nice.

93
00:05:16,528 --> 00:05:18,443
[Kerry] You know we're not 
sitting together, right?

94
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,123
I'm excited, too!

95
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,519
Okay, Mom. I parked the car.

96
00:05:23,522 --> 00:05:27,089
It's all snug in its spot in the garage
just like how Dad's sperm snugly parked

97
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,898
itself into your egg when you
decided to have sex and ruin my life.

98
00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:34,129
I came up with a little
car analogy for the class.

99
00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:36,160
Cute. What do you mean 'little' car?

100
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,970
It was the worst day of my entire life.

101
00:05:38,973 --> 00:05:41,588
Worse than the time you wore a
black skirt and a black top to school..

102
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,264
...and you didn't notice they
were two different blacks..

103
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,132
...till you got home and I showed you?

104
00:05:45,135 --> 00:05:47,408
That's it, Rory! We're canceling Bravo.

105
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:49,948
You said you wouldn't
embarrass me, Mom.

106
00:05:49,973 --> 00:05:51,597
You said no one would
know you were my mother.

107
00:05:51,659 --> 00:05:55,777
I know honey and I was trying
so hard not to, it just blurted out.

108
00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:57,995
You could have stopped
at how I was conceived.

109
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,354
You didn't have to tell them where.

110
00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:02,275
You don't even like the
beach! God, this is so unfair!

111
00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:05,684
Did she say penis?
I am never showing my face at that school again.

112
00:06:05,723 --> 00:06:09,598
Penis and vagina?
Rory, we don't say those words.

113
00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:12,082
Why not?
I don't know.

114
00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,964
Did you have a rough day today?
No it wasn't that bad.

115
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,820
But I found out tomorrow I have
to talk about contraception,

116
00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:23,352
and the only thing the school
will let me discuss is abstinence.

117
00:06:23,485 --> 00:06:26,188
Finally, our tax
dollars put to good use.

118
00:06:26,894 --> 00:06:30,956
I don't know, I think it's irresponsible
to say abstinence is the only option.

119
00:06:31,026 --> 00:06:34,456
I see teenagers at the hospital every
day and they're in trouble already.

120
00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:36,523
They need to know about safe sex.

121
00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:39,848
Or, you could teach
them that sex is... "Bad".

122
00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,851
That if they have it they'll
go blind or go to Hell.

123
00:06:43,513 --> 00:06:45,364
You're the teacher. You decide.

124
00:06:49,082 --> 00:06:52,691
[French film dialogue]

125
00:06:57,412 --> 00:07:01,452
[French film dialogue continues]

126
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,944
[French film dialogue turns hot]

127
00:07:17,913 --> 00:07:21,788
[French film dialogue turns very hot]

128
00:07:39,932 --> 00:07:42,437
Hi, guys. How was the movie?

129
00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:44,710
Fine -Fine

130
00:07:47,064 --> 00:07:48,928
Eh...Did something happen?

131
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:53,868
There was this scene, this
scene was so incredibly..

132
00:07:55,449 --> 00:07:57,043
...European.

133
00:07:58,692 --> 00:08:00,535
Hot sex?
Rory!

134
00:08:01,535 --> 00:08:04,406
Sorry. Did I crack your code?

135
00:08:07,429 --> 00:08:10,203
So what did you do?
Nothing.

136
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,937
You did nothing?
Yes, I did nothing. What else could I do?

137
00:08:12,968 --> 00:08:14,669
Well, you could have left.

138
00:08:14,951 --> 00:08:16,669
Oh, yeah. I never thought of that.

139
00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,966
I'll go talk to her.
It's okay.

140
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,275
Wow, you saw the water
bottle scene with Kerry?

141
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,882
You know about the water bottle scene?

142
00:08:31,907 --> 00:08:34,118
Oh yeah. The water
bottle scene's famous.

143
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:38,147
All my friends are downloading it
off the Internet. Not me, though.

144
00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:40,186
Because I'm not old enough
to see that kind of thing.

145
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:45,280
And it's illegal. And it
objectifies women, and bla..bla..bla

146
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:49,452
Wait a minute, all your little friends
are watching that scene from that movie?

147
00:08:49,702 --> 00:08:53,440
The water bottle scene is like my
generation's Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee tape.

148
00:08:54,471 --> 00:08:56,823
Which of course,
I have not seen either.

149
00:08:58,073 --> 00:09:00,307
But, maybe you should
take Kerry to see it.

150
00:09:05,564 --> 00:09:09,001
Well, it's getting late.
Yes, it is.

151
00:09:09,235 --> 00:09:11,469
How do you say goodnight?

152
00:09:13,405 --> 00:09:15,852
And your mom's the teacher.

153
00:09:16,328 --> 00:09:17,874
I'll call you next week.

154
00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:21,700
Will you? Well, thanks so much.

155
00:09:21,703 --> 00:09:24,353
I had loads of fun.
So did I.

156
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,410
Goodnight, Woody.
Goodnight, Anne.

157
00:09:28,424 --> 00:09:32,035
And thus Woody leaves,
knowing with great pride

158
00:09:32,066 --> 00:09:35,802
that this is another
night he did not have sex.

159
00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:41,981
Okay. So, that's abstinence.

160
00:09:41,984 --> 00:09:43,958
Clearly it's been around forever.

161
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,098
Yo, Ms. Henn, that movie was
all rated 'G' and what not.

162
00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:50,384
Nah, it was less than
'G, ' it was like... 'F.'

163
00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:53,774
Yeah, Woody's got no game.

164
00:09:54,504 --> 00:09:57,465
Look, if you have something
to say, please raise your hand.

165
00:09:58,179 --> 00:09:59,186
Anthony.

166
00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:02,357
Yeah, dawg be cold saying 'hasta'
to a lady with such a fine,

167
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,482
cup sitting booty like that.

168
00:10:04,485 --> 00:10:08,137
But I'll bet my money that dawg
be walking all swishy swishy,

169
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:11,215
playing for the other team and
what not, you know what I'm saying?

170
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,818
We all have certain 'urges'.

171
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:18,216
Hey Bridget, your mom just
said 'urges.' -Kill me.

172
00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:22,942
And if you respect yourself,
you will shut down those urges.

173
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,036
She totally said it again.

174
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,332
And then, when you've finally
made a commitment to get married,

175
00:10:29,371 --> 00:10:31,840
and you finally satisfy those urges-

176
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:34,235
Stop saying 'urges'!!

177
00:10:36,284 --> 00:10:38,301
There are other words.

178
00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:43,812
It will be all that much
sweeter because you waited.

179
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:46,923
Waited? Dang, this sucks!

180
00:10:47,589 --> 00:10:50,293
She's trying to turn us
into a bunch of Woodys.

181
00:10:52,066 --> 00:10:56,064
All right, kids. Okay. I could get
in big trouble for telling you this,

182
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,089
but there are alternatives
to abstinence.

183
00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:02,840
What are some of those
alternatives, Bridget's mom?

184
00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:07,090
Well, Jenna, rather than
speak in generalities,

185
00:11:07,093 --> 00:11:09,113
why don't we just answer
some of those questions..

186
00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:11,551
You submitted to Miss
Callahan last week?

187
00:11:12,677 --> 00:11:14,251
Let's see.

188
00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:19,383
'I have a much older boyfriend
who lives in Maryland.

189
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:24,748
He's coming to visit me this weekend
and I'm feeling pressure to have sex.

190
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:26,665
What should I do?

191
00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:28,377
Ohh!

192
00:11:28,571 --> 00:11:32,141
And I think you should
know, I'm really gorgeous.!!

193
00:11:32,144 --> 00:11:34,792
Well, I'll tell what you should do!

194
00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:36,105
ABSTINENCE!!!

195
00:11:36,148 --> 00:11:39,456
Abstinence!
You hear me, missy?!

196
00:11:42,539 --> 00:11:44,188
Whoever you are.

197
00:11:50,518 --> 00:11:53,312
Paul, how many times you
gonna read that thing?

198
00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:55,354
The words aren't gonna change.

199
00:11:55,357 --> 00:11:59,573
Donny Doyle is coming over to our
house to have sex with our daughter.

200
00:11:59,598 --> 00:12:03,534
Oh, he's gonna be having sex all right,
but it's not gonna be with our daughter.

201
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,239
What does that mean?
I don't know.

202
00:12:06,279 --> 00:12:09,056
You just gave me this ten minutes
ago. I'm still formulating a plan.

203
00:12:09,837 --> 00:12:12,245
I'm just so disappointed with myself.

204
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:16,650
I sounded like my mother. I actually
think I said the word 'missy.'

205
00:12:16,697 --> 00:12:21,354
And I actually believed Donny when he
told me that he was choosing celibacy.

206
00:12:21,386 --> 00:12:23,425
A teenage boy doesn't choose celibacy.

207
00:12:23,486 --> 00:12:26,963
Celibacy chooses ..you..
Him.. A teenage boy.

208
00:12:27,432 --> 00:12:28,713
What are we gonna do?

209
00:12:28,738 --> 00:12:33,167
Look, Cate. We can't just talk
to Bridget about contraception.

210
00:12:33,204 --> 00:12:35,441
You might as well just fluff her
pillows and make her

211
00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:37,200
some peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.

212
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,747
You are aware, Paul,
that only works for you.

213
00:12:41,575 --> 00:12:44,067
Don't you see, that if we do
that, it'd be like we're giving

214
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:48,762
her permission to have sex. And if
we tell her: 'You can't have sex',

215
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,375
you know she's definitely gonna have it.
Aghh..

216
00:12:51,902 --> 00:12:54,613
Why couldn't she have
been born hideously ugly?

217
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:58,777
Ugly people have sex, too.
Eww!

218
00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:03,933
I just, you know, it's just such
a confusing time for these kids.

219
00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:06,667
The media bombards them
with all these sex images.

220
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:09,338
Why do they have to make
it look so damn appealing?

221
00:13:09,393 --> 00:13:11,760
I blame the French and
their crazy sex water.

222
00:13:12,845 --> 00:13:14,665
As do we all, Paul.

223
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,478
Okay look, you know we are
going to have to talk to her.

224
00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:22,115
Fine. We'll talk to her
before her date with Donny.

225
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:26,769
[Sigh]
It's so hard to be a girl.

226
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:32,654
You like a guy so much and you just
want to be with him, it feels so right.

227
00:13:32,685 --> 00:13:34,044
Is that how you feel about me?

228
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,513
Sometimes.
Sometimes?

229
00:13:47,882 --> 00:13:51,124
[Sexy music imagination]

230
00:13:58,449 --> 00:14:03,233
[Sexy hallucinations with Cate]

231
00:14:26,186 --> 00:14:28,876
[Sexy hallucinations and Kerry disappear]

232
00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:32,084
Oh, God help us.

233
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,269
People were butt naked,
moaning like no tomorrow,

234
00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:37,828
and I'm sitting like this close to Dad.

235
00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:39,890
Hello, my social standing
could be impacted for decades

236
00:14:39,929 --> 00:14:42,797
the way Mom's talking about
how everyone has these urges.

237
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,579
Oh yeah? Well I started to
choke on a popcorn kernel

238
00:14:45,604 --> 00:14:48,290
and oxygen cut off to my brain
and everything went black.

239
00:14:48,478 --> 00:14:50,094
Mom said 'vulva.'

240
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:52,782
You win.

241
00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:58,453
Kerry, could you go downstairs for
a second? We wanna talk to your sister.

242
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,680
Sure, Mom. Dad.
Kerry.

243
00:15:02,306 --> 00:15:04,680
I want to look absolutely perfect
for my date with Donny tonight.

244
00:15:04,683 --> 00:15:06,771
What do you think of this top?
I think it should stay on.

245
00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:09,086
I need something that says
I'm older, more sophisticated.

246
00:15:09,089 --> 00:15:11,799
Something that says I'm a woman.
'Cause tonight's a Big Night'.

247
00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:14,471
No, tonight is not the big
night and do you wanna know why?

248
00:15:14,518 --> 00:15:15,908
I'll tell you why... Cate

249
00:15:17,603 --> 00:15:19,985
Honey, your Dad and I were together

250
00:15:20,032 --> 00:15:22,540
for a long time before
we had a 'Big Night.'

251
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:27,164
And might I add, we were deliriously
happy with all of our little nights.

252
00:15:27,211 --> 00:15:30,132
Years and years of little nights,
little teenie weenie nights.

253
00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:34,109
He said 'teenie weenie.'
Bridget. What?!

254
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:38,452
Look, what we're trying to say is
that Sex is a big step. For all of us.

255
00:15:38,455 --> 00:15:41,545
And we in no way
want you to have sex.

256
00:15:41,569 --> 00:15:43,885
We are not giving you permission.

257
00:15:43,888 --> 00:15:46,794
What are you talking about?
Fine. You want me to say it? I'll say it.

258
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:49,914
Safe sex, condoms, you know the drill.

259
00:15:54,863 --> 00:15:56,948
Look, what your father
is trying to say is..

260
00:15:56,951 --> 00:16:00,706
..that when it comes to sex, we
trust you to act responsibly.

261
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,654
What is with you people?!
You're all just sex, sex, sex.!

262
00:16:03,657 --> 00:16:05,841
It's like you have a one
track mind and it's all...

263
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,781
'what chama call it'... sex.

264
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,326
Honey, we know you wrote that question.

265
00:16:10,388 --> 00:16:11,820
What question?

266
00:16:13,594 --> 00:16:16,752
From the girl whose boyfriend
is coming from Maryland

267
00:16:16,755 --> 00:16:19,971
and he's coming to town to, you know.

268
00:16:20,459 --> 00:16:22,630
You thought that was me?

269
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:26,896
No, that was totally written by that new
girl who came from Maryland: Lara O'Neal.

270
00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,990
And she's definitely not gorgeous.
Talk about over inflated self esteem.

271
00:16:30,029 --> 00:16:32,466
If somebody's willing to sleep
with her, she should jump on it.

272
00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:35,454
Looks like someone
got a little paranoid.

273
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,813
Oh gosh, I gotta go.
How do I look? Wow. Really good.

274
00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:45,418
Bridge, since, you and Donny aren't
having sex, what's up for tonight?

275
00:16:45,512 --> 00:16:47,700
PG movie, home by eleven,
"You know the drill".

276
00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:51,676
You know after the movie why don't
you and Donny stop by so we can say hi?

277
00:16:51,973 --> 00:16:54,098
No. I told the Doyles after the movie,

278
00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:56,698
I'd be Mary Ellen's
partner in Bible Trivia.

279
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:57,949
Godspeed!

280
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,139
Oh my God; This movie sounds amazing.

281
00:17:05,202 --> 00:17:07,401
I'd show you the water bottle
scene, but my dad made me..

282
00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:11,832
..delete it from my hard drive.
Luckily, I've got it all up here.

283
00:17:11,835 --> 00:17:14,982
Hey. Hey. 
 Out!!

284
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,265
[Softly] Hi.

285
00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:24,547
You know, I was a jerk the other day.

286
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:28,266
I was totally wrong
about that French movie.

287
00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,662
It was important to you, all right?

288
00:17:30,687 --> 00:17:33,093
And I think we should really go see it.

289
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,304
You heard about the scene?

290
00:17:35,623 --> 00:17:37,599
There's a sexy water
bottle scene?

291
00:17:38,052 --> 00:17:39,583
I had no idea!

292
00:17:40,974 --> 00:17:42,224
Go home.

293
00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:46,549
I hate having a smart girlfriend.

294
00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:52,108
Dad. 
Kerry. Care Bear, hang on.

295
00:17:52,147 --> 00:17:54,264
Wait a second. You know
what? We have to talk.

296
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:57,070
I don't wanna talk!
I think we should, about the moo.. The..

297
00:17:57,140 --> 00:18:00,687
You know, what we saw the other day.
What? What?

298
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,657
It's just that, you know, remember
when that guy came with the...

299
00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:08,549
well, the truth, the
thing is.. You know what?

300
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,096
Never mind. Carry on, goodnight.

301
00:18:10,659 --> 00:18:13,533
No, wait. No, not goodnight!

302
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,871
Dad, we have nothing to
be embarrassed about.

303
00:18:15,909 --> 00:18:20,088
You're right. 'Night.
No, wait. Dad!

304
00:18:20,135 --> 00:18:22,096
Come here, sit down.

305
00:18:25,055 --> 00:18:29,469
Okay, you were thinking,
should you cover my eyes?

306
00:18:29,501 --> 00:18:34,954
Or, should you laugh? Or
should you just do nothing,

307
00:18:35,016 --> 00:18:37,523
because, you know, let
me draw my own conclusions

308
00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:39,769
and instead of treating
me like a child?

309
00:18:39,772 --> 00:18:41,039
Yes, that was one!

310
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,208
Right, okay, but you have
to admit it was really weird.

311
00:18:43,249 --> 00:18:45,694
Oh, God. That was one of the
weird.. Especially.. I could..

312
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:49,217
Okay, Dad, stop. Stop worrying.

313
00:18:49,256 --> 00:18:51,100
I mean, I'm not scarred for life.

314
00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:54,986
And despite being temporarily
totally creeped out,

315
00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:58,098
I didn't hate having a
father daughter thing.

316
00:18:58,861 --> 00:19:00,112
Good.
Okay.

317
00:19:00,113 --> 00:19:01,891
So we can do this again sometime?

318
00:19:01,894 --> 00:19:03,553
Yeah. In like a billion years.

319
00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:05,418
It's a date.

320
00:19:05,755 --> 00:19:06,877
The boy!

321
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,749
Come here. Hey! Right
here, sit down, park it.

322
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:15,364
Hey, Ror. Boy, I'll tell you
something. It is not 'E-A-S-Y'

323
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:17,530
being the father of teenage girls.

324
00:19:17,575 --> 00:19:19,318
But I think I'm really evolving.

325
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:23,922
And as for you, young man, did
you delete your downloaded movies?

326
00:19:24,176 --> 00:19:26,827
Look, 'Officer Internet',

327
00:19:27,628 --> 00:19:30,119
if you're so worried about
obscene material, you should

328
00:19:30,122 --> 00:19:32,190
probably take a look across the street.
What do you mean?

329
00:19:32,192 --> 00:19:33,807
Your daughter's alone
with a sex starved

330
00:19:33,831 --> 00:19:35,455
sailor who hasn't seen
a woman in months.

331
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,511
Rory, she is not alone.
She's with the Doyles.

332
00:19:38,514 --> 00:19:40,608
And even if she wasn't,
I trust my daughter.

333
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:44,268
Does it concern you that the Doyles'
motor home is not in the driveway?

334
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:48,437
No. There could be a thousand reasons
why their camper's not in the driveway.

335
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,055
Like it's in Branson with
the rest of the Doyles?

336
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:53,400
Where it's been since Thursday?

337
00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:56,665
Where they're celebrating
the Osmond family reunion?

338
00:19:58,077 --> 00:20:01,139
Cate, are you hearing this?
Bible trivia, my ass!

339
00:20:02,947 --> 00:20:04,744
I hate the French!

340
00:20:07,008 --> 00:20:08,711
Back to the Internet.

341
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:16,816
Lara O'Neal?  Ahh... Lara O'Neal?

342
00:20:18,837 --> 00:20:21,588
Lara O'Neal, new girl from Maryland?!

343
00:20:23,915 --> 00:20:27,314
Does anyone know a Lara O'Neal?

344
00:20:29,431 --> 00:20:30,431
Anyone?

345
00:20:32,822 --> 00:20:34,513
I'm sick.

346
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:45,000
---oOo---