1 00:00:05,023 --> 00:00:07,492 All right, Cate, just push send. 2 00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:10,328 What's the big deal? 3 00:00:13,732 --> 00:00:15,166 - What's going on? - Aah! 4 00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:18,236 What?! Oh, come on. 5 00:00:18,303 --> 00:00:19,971 Don't do that to me! 6 00:00:20,038 --> 00:00:22,073 Don't do that to me! My heart's beating like a rabbit. 7 00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:25,109 Ohh. I thought you were outside trying out your skateboard 8 00:00:25,176 --> 00:00:27,178 with the rest of the middle-aged men. 9 00:00:27,245 --> 00:00:32,117 I was, but, uh, I decided to come in for a minute. 10 00:00:34,553 --> 00:00:36,922 Why? Don't you like your skateboard? 11 00:00:38,856 --> 00:00:41,125 Yeah, I like it fine. It's just, uh, you know, 12 00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:42,994 I thought I'd come in for a second. 13 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:46,097 Well, you do live here, 14 00:00:46,164 --> 00:00:49,000 so you have every right to just come on inside. 15 00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:51,470 Yeah, yeah, just wanted to... 16 00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:53,304 Ha, ha, who's Matt?! 17 00:00:53,371 --> 00:00:54,539 C.J. 18 00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:57,041 Well, you practically forced me to look at the screen. 19 00:00:57,108 --> 00:00:59,444 Oh! He's just this boyfriend I had in college. 20 00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:01,279 I looked him up on the Internet and, you know, 21 00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:02,681 I wanted to say hello. 22 00:01:02,748 --> 00:01:06,618 Whoo, you old dog, digging up the old bones. 23 00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:07,952 Nice! 24 00:01:08,019 --> 00:01:09,421 Thank you. 25 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,256 Yeah, so, uh, why don't you push send? 26 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:14,259 Oh, he probably won't even remember me. 27 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:15,861 Hmm, senile? 28 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:20,632 Hey, guys. What's going on? 29 00:01:20,699 --> 00:01:23,135 Mom's hooking up with an old boyfriend. 30 00:01:23,201 --> 00:01:24,469 - What? - What? 31 00:01:24,536 --> 00:01:26,939 It's not exactly hooking up, I'm e-mailing. 32 00:01:27,005 --> 00:01:29,107 And I don't even think I'm gonna do that. 33 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,775 No, come on, you got to do it. Live on the edge. 34 00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:32,310 Oh, no, mom's never been on the edge. 35 00:01:32,377 --> 00:01:34,612 Oh, I've been on the edge. Trust me. 36 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:37,849 Especially with Matt -- he was part of my dangerous phase. 37 00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:39,417 You had a dangerous phase? 38 00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:41,119 Must have been before she started keeping 39 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:42,788 the snakebite kit in her purse. 40 00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:47,292 Who'll be laughing when you need one? 41 00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:49,030 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 42 00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:51,630 Grandpa, did mom ever have a dangerous phase? 43 00:01:51,697 --> 00:01:53,632 Are you kidding me? She was hell on wheels... 44 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:56,535 Right up to the summer when she got bit by the snake. 45 00:01:57,702 --> 00:01:59,137 That slowed her down. 46 00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:01,873 Did, uh, grandpa know Matt? 47 00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:05,843 Matt Walsh? That crazy, long-haired lowlife? 48 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:08,313 I should have shot him when I had the chance. 49 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,349 I believe grandpa knows the man. 50 00:02:11,416 --> 00:02:13,318 I thought I told you to stay away from that hooligan. 51 00:02:13,385 --> 00:02:15,020 Well, it was just an e-mail, 52 00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:18,256 but if it's gonna cause such an uproar, just forget about Matt. 53 00:02:18,323 --> 00:02:20,993 It's done, over, never to be resurrected again. 54 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:30,402 I wonder if he'll write back? 55 00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:35,397 I am gonna kill kerry and Bridget. 56 00:02:35,464 --> 00:02:37,733 They were supposed to be here an hour ago. 57 00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:40,802 You know, Cate, I don't mind helping you, but I got plans. 58 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,639 You know, I didn't commit to this bake sale, they did. 59 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:45,974 Well, I know I didn't. And I got to go. 60 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,643 Me and some of the other substitute teachers are going out for a drink. 61 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,112 Tonight? 62 00:02:50,179 --> 00:02:52,347 Yeah, we go to this bar where the real teachers go. 63 00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,650 But some of them can't make it, so we're filling in. 64 00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:58,086 Well, how am I supposed to do this all by myself? 65 00:02:58,153 --> 00:03:00,189 You'll figure out a way. You always do. 66 00:03:01,690 --> 00:03:03,759 Hey, Cate, are you busy? 67 00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:05,260 A little. 68 00:03:05,327 --> 00:03:08,497 Well, I was hoping you could sew a button on my flannel shirt. 69 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,598 Well, do you have to have it tonight? 70 00:03:10,665 --> 00:03:13,635 Yes, it's the one I wear when I watch the lumberjack competition. 71 00:03:13,702 --> 00:03:15,053 Can you wear something else? 72 00:03:15,077 --> 00:03:15,903 No. 73 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,139 Can you watch something else? 74 00:03:18,206 --> 00:03:21,276 You never really approved of logrolling, did you, Cate? 75 00:03:21,343 --> 00:03:23,611 - Mom, I need you! - What? 76 00:03:23,678 --> 00:03:26,881 This project's due tomorrow. My geyser's only sputtering. 77 00:03:26,948 --> 00:03:29,651 Hmm, I know that feeling. 78 00:03:29,718 --> 00:03:31,787 You know, Rory, you shouldn't have waited so long. 79 00:03:31,854 --> 00:03:33,122 Cate, the button? 80 00:03:33,188 --> 00:03:34,556 Ooh, cookies! 81 00:03:34,622 --> 00:03:36,558 Cookies? Where have you girls been? 82 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,421 - It was kerry's fault. - My fault? 83 00:03:38,476 --> 00:03:39,438 Yeah, you were supposed to pick me up. 84 00:03:39,463 --> 00:03:40,664 You weren't there on time. 85 00:03:40,695 --> 00:03:42,464 I have a broken leg. 86 00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,800 You were making out with Jack harrington by the fountain. 87 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:46,134 With a broken leg. 88 00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:47,570 Wait a minute. 89 00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:49,404 Is this why I've been baking cookies 90 00:03:49,471 --> 00:03:51,240 by myself for the last hour? 91 00:03:51,307 --> 00:03:54,175 No. We went to the mall. 92 00:03:54,242 --> 00:03:56,812 - What?! - I have a broken leg! 93 00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:58,313 Mom, it's not working. I'm gonna fail! 94 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,149 Cate, the boy needs your help. 95 00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:02,150 You made chocolate chip. We committed to butterscotch. 96 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:03,985 Yeah, and these are kind of burned. 97 00:04:04,052 --> 00:04:06,188 If you're tied up with this cookie thing, can I borrow the car? 98 00:04:06,255 --> 00:04:08,490 Cate, I got the button and the shirt right here. 99 00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:09,719 Want, want, want! Need, need, need! 100 00:04:09,744 --> 00:04:11,346 Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! 101 00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:12,995 Help! Help! 102 00:04:13,061 --> 00:04:15,064 Button, lumberjack! Button, lumberjack! 103 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,732 Why don't I have a girlfriend? 104 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,668 I quit! 105 00:04:20,735 --> 00:04:22,204 - What? - Bake your own cookies. 106 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:27,308 I am not a baker or a seamstress or a scientist. 107 00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,010 I'm taking the night off. 108 00:04:29,077 --> 00:04:32,380 Well, what about dinner? I'm sorry. I just love dinner. 109 00:04:32,447 --> 00:04:34,082 You can all fend for yourselves. 110 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,517 That's right. 111 00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,919 Teach them a lesson. Toughen them up a little bit. 112 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,754 There is a fridge full of food 113 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,524 because C.J. was kind enough to go to the market for me. 114 00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,026 Was that today? 115 00:04:47,129 --> 00:04:49,665 Oh, look, a fire. 116 00:05:14,622 --> 00:05:16,391 You knock. 117 00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,293 - No! No, you knock. - No, you! 118 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,962 Oh, I'm not knocking. 119 00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:30,939 I can't hear you, but I know you're out there. 120 00:05:31,005 --> 00:05:34,476 And it's harshing my mellow, so leave! 121 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,144 Mom, please come out. 122 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,147 Yeah, Rory needs to talk to you. He thinks he's gay. 123 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,149 Super gay. 124 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,452 Wait, we agreed kerry was gonna be the gay one. 125 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:47,055 Kids, I spent 41 years married to your grandmother 126 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:49,958 and 39 of them I spent outside a door just like this one. 127 00:05:50,025 --> 00:05:51,726 She's not budging. 128 00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:54,863 Maybe grandma had other reasons. 129 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,598 Cate: All right, listen up. 130 00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:59,134 You're about to hear the most powerful words 131 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,436 you've ever heard come out of my mouth. 132 00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:05,874 Do not disturb! 133 00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:07,709 Let's go. 134 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,959 Aaah! Oh! 135 00:06:25,026 --> 00:06:27,562 Catey, it's me -- Matt Walsh. 136 00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:28,964 Matt? 137 00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,331 Open the window! 138 00:06:30,398 --> 00:06:34,536 Oh, my -- oh, my god! What are you doing here? 139 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:35,971 I got your e-mail. 140 00:06:36,038 --> 00:06:38,039 Well, why didn't you call? 141 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,942 I thought this would be more fun. 142 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,476 Gee, you look great! 143 00:06:41,543 --> 00:06:45,814 Oh, well, yeah, so do you. I mean, what I can see. 144 00:06:45,881 --> 00:06:47,815 Y-you know, Matt, we have a front door. 145 00:06:47,882 --> 00:06:49,651 But you said your dad lived here. 146 00:06:49,718 --> 00:06:52,020 I thought climbing the drainpipe would be safer. 147 00:06:52,087 --> 00:06:55,557 I-I can't believe this. Well, come on in. 148 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,991 No, I want you to come out. 149 00:06:57,058 --> 00:06:58,826 I want to give you a ride on my motorcycle. 150 00:06:58,893 --> 00:07:00,228 - Now? - Yeah. 151 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,063 - I can't. - Why not? 152 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,198 - That's crazy. - Exactly. 153 00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:06,367 Let's be crazy like we used to be. 154 00:07:06,434 --> 00:07:08,403 Matt, that was like 1,000 years ago. 155 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,405 What happened to wild catey? 156 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,674 I haven't changed, have you? 157 00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:14,943 You don't come out, I'm letting go. 158 00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:18,914 5, 4, 3, 2... 159 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,982 How you doing? 160 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:25,254 Oh, incredible! Plus, my nails are drying! 161 00:07:31,273 --> 00:07:33,741 Oh, my god, the purple haze! 162 00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:37,879 It's exactly the same as it was in college! 163 00:07:37,946 --> 00:07:39,715 Catey, shh. We're off the bike. 164 00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:41,416 Oh, sorry. Oh. 165 00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:43,885 Oh, a bug? 166 00:07:45,787 --> 00:07:48,056 Boy, how many nights did we spend here? 167 00:07:48,122 --> 00:07:50,391 Oh, a lot more than we spent in the library. 168 00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:52,627 There was a library? 169 00:07:52,694 --> 00:07:56,064 Oh, my god, it's Nixon. 170 00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,999 You think it's still there? 171 00:07:58,066 --> 00:07:59,334 Impossible. 172 00:08:01,302 --> 00:08:04,405 Oh. 173 00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:07,976 The gum I took out of my mouth right before our first kiss. 174 00:08:08,043 --> 00:08:09,678 I'll never forget that kiss. 175 00:08:09,744 --> 00:08:11,847 For years, I got turned on whenever I saw Nixon. 176 00:08:13,315 --> 00:08:14,682 What are you drinking? 177 00:08:14,749 --> 00:08:16,251 Please, these days? 178 00:08:16,317 --> 00:08:18,420 I brought your favorite tea, sweetheart. 179 00:08:18,486 --> 00:08:20,421 Please come out. 180 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:22,924 I'm serious, sweetie. 181 00:08:22,991 --> 00:08:25,894 C.J.'s cooking pork, and I'm afraid for the children. 182 00:08:28,229 --> 00:08:29,664 Two tequilas. 183 00:08:29,731 --> 00:08:30,999 Oh, god. 184 00:08:31,066 --> 00:08:33,167 You better get your I.D. Out, catey. 185 00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:34,936 I'm serious. You look great. 186 00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:38,473 Oh. I feel like I'm dreaming. 187 00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:41,710 An hour ago, I was wearing fuzzy slippers, 188 00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:45,780 listening to Mozart, and reading about elbow softeners. 189 00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:47,182 But you'd rather be here? 190 00:08:47,248 --> 00:08:48,817 I'd rather live here. 191 00:08:48,883 --> 00:08:50,785 To Nixon. 192 00:08:50,852 --> 00:08:52,354 Okay. 193 00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:56,358 Oh, warm! 194 00:08:58,092 --> 00:08:59,527 Two more! 195 00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,195 Oh, yeah, that's great, 196 00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:03,531 'cause I don't think driving a motorcycle through the snow 197 00:09:03,597 --> 00:09:05,233 is quite dangerous enough. 198 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,334 We'll be fine. We'll eat something. 199 00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:08,903 Two double cheeseburgers. 200 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,305 With onion rings. 201 00:09:10,371 --> 00:09:12,040 And anything else you can fry. 202 00:09:14,142 --> 00:09:17,345 So you really haven't changed, have you? 203 00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:20,348 Well, I did. I changed back. 204 00:09:20,415 --> 00:09:21,816 What do you mean? 205 00:09:21,883 --> 00:09:23,651 Well, I did the corporate thing. 206 00:09:23,718 --> 00:09:25,187 You know, I sold roofing systems. 207 00:09:26,654 --> 00:09:28,657 Who are we kidding? There's no system, it's a roof. 208 00:09:29,758 --> 00:09:31,159 I hated it. 209 00:09:31,225 --> 00:09:32,860 Did you ever get married? 210 00:09:32,927 --> 00:09:35,730 I had a marriage system. 211 00:09:38,199 --> 00:09:40,601 So what are you doing now? 212 00:09:40,668 --> 00:09:42,603 Having a drink with a beautiful girl. 213 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:43,605 Aw. 214 00:09:44,806 --> 00:09:46,374 You're not... 215 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,310 On some most-wanted list, are you? 216 00:09:48,376 --> 00:09:50,244 No! 217 00:09:50,311 --> 00:09:52,179 I made a little money in the market. 218 00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:54,649 Now all I need is my bike, my laptop, and some open road. 219 00:09:54,716 --> 00:09:57,452 Oh, I want your life. 220 00:09:57,518 --> 00:09:59,187 I'm a single mom. 221 00:09:59,254 --> 00:10:02,123 I cook, I clean, I do bake sales. 222 00:10:02,189 --> 00:10:03,791 They depend on you for everything, huh? 223 00:10:03,858 --> 00:10:05,126 Yeah, that's right. 224 00:10:05,193 --> 00:10:06,861 Right now, they're probably eating 225 00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:08,597 Bologna sandwiches on moldy bread. 226 00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:13,034 I think this proves that we can give your mother a night off 227 00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:14,870 and still have a nice dinner together. 228 00:10:16,104 --> 00:10:18,239 May I present C.J.'s swine surprise? 229 00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:20,742 - Oh! - Rory: Ugh. 230 00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,643 Oh, it smells disgusting! 231 00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:24,545 It was more sanitary when it was alive! 232 00:10:24,612 --> 00:10:27,048 - Hey! - Are those marshmallows? 233 00:10:27,114 --> 00:10:30,151 - C.J., it's still pink. - That's the grape jelly. 234 00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:32,554 Oh, mom, please come down here! We're sorry! 235 00:10:32,621 --> 00:10:34,055 He's trying to kill us! 236 00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:35,557 You know what? 237 00:10:35,624 --> 00:10:38,092 I work all day and I try to do something nice for you guys, 238 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,794 something a little special. 239 00:10:39,861 --> 00:10:42,130 I gave up a night of substitute drinking 240 00:10:42,196 --> 00:10:45,233 and this is the thanks, the attitude, I get?! 241 00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:49,137 I will never -- oh, and I mean never -- 242 00:10:49,203 --> 00:10:52,139 cook for this bunch again! 243 00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:54,108 Oh! 244 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,145 I'm ordering a pizza. 245 00:10:57,212 --> 00:10:58,779 Oh, please, order one. 246 00:10:58,846 --> 00:11:01,282 If you order any pork products on that pizza, 247 00:11:01,349 --> 00:11:04,519 I will consider it a slap across my face! 248 00:11:06,821 --> 00:11:08,156 You look happy. 249 00:11:08,223 --> 00:11:11,258 I don't know if I can take any more excitement. 250 00:11:11,325 --> 00:11:14,929 What a night -- Tequila, red meat. 251 00:11:14,995 --> 00:11:16,931 This guy, he called me "miss." 252 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,801 You want to kiss the gargoyle? 253 00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:23,838 You know, Matt, I may be a little out of touch, 254 00:11:23,904 --> 00:11:26,674 but if that's some kind of drug or sexual reference, 255 00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:29,310 I'm not interested. 256 00:11:29,377 --> 00:11:33,547 How could you forget about kissing the gargoyle? 257 00:11:33,614 --> 00:11:35,884 There it is, right out here. 258 00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:37,886 Come on, let's climb over and make a wish. 259 00:11:37,953 --> 00:11:41,790 Oh, I'm not going down there. It's like a 200-foot drop! 260 00:11:41,856 --> 00:11:45,059 Besides, I have a cheeseburger and a piece of mud pie in me. 261 00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,195 Come on, nobody falls! 262 00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:51,632 40 kids in 100 years. That's not bad. 263 00:11:51,699 --> 00:11:53,067 Come on! 264 00:11:53,134 --> 00:11:56,571 But it looks so dangerous. 265 00:11:56,637 --> 00:11:58,239 I-it's just so crazy. 266 00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:00,174 Catey eagan, get out here. 267 00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:03,311 All right. All right, fine, i-I'm coming. 268 00:12:03,378 --> 00:12:05,513 - Here I come. - That's the catey I remember. 269 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:09,817 Whoo, ho! I'm out here. I did it. 270 00:12:09,884 --> 00:12:12,086 Gee, I didn't do this when I was 20. 271 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:15,222 And they said that I didn't have a dangerous side, ha! 272 00:12:15,289 --> 00:12:17,826 Well, here I am, literally on the edge. 273 00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:20,995 Whoa! 274 00:12:21,062 --> 00:12:22,997 Here's my phone. I want a picture of this. 275 00:12:23,063 --> 00:12:25,500 Okay. All right. 276 00:12:29,603 --> 00:12:31,372 Oh, that'll be great. That's gonna be great. 277 00:12:31,439 --> 00:12:33,007 Okay. 278 00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:35,677 Ah, I don't know if the picture's so good. 279 00:12:35,743 --> 00:12:38,312 Don't you want to know my wish? 280 00:12:38,379 --> 00:12:39,480 Tell me. 281 00:12:39,547 --> 00:12:42,750 I wish you'd run away with me. 282 00:12:42,817 --> 00:12:45,452 - What? - Tonight, right now, yesterday. 283 00:12:45,519 --> 00:12:47,054 Well, where would we go? 284 00:12:47,121 --> 00:12:49,557 Wyoming, where we always said we'd go! 285 00:12:49,624 --> 00:12:55,096 Oh, and open a water bed store and write bluegrass songs. 286 00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:58,866 And live on love and free-range chicken. 287 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,202 Together: ♪ livin' on love and free-range chicken ♪ 288 00:13:01,269 --> 00:13:03,538 ♪ hangin' together through thin and thicken ♪ 289 00:13:03,604 --> 00:13:05,607 You remember the song! 290 00:13:05,673 --> 00:13:07,241 We were good. 291 00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:09,243 Oh, wouldn't that be great, Matt? 292 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,612 Living free forever like that. What a fantasy. 293 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:14,373 It doesn't have to be a fantasy. Let's do it! 294 00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:15,346 Oh, come on. 295 00:13:15,371 --> 00:13:17,268 Come on. I'm serious! Let's run away tonight. 296 00:13:17,293 --> 00:13:18,283 - No, no, no. - Say yes! 297 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,721 No, no, no, I'm not running away with you. 298 00:13:20,788 --> 00:13:22,891 Why not? There's nothing between us and total freedom! 299 00:13:22,957 --> 00:13:24,825 D-don't answer that. 300 00:13:24,892 --> 00:13:26,828 Hello? 301 00:13:26,894 --> 00:13:29,798 Well, this is Cate hennessy. Who's this? 302 00:13:31,966 --> 00:13:33,568 It's your wife. 303 00:13:34,969 --> 00:13:36,403 You said you left her. 304 00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,239 - I did. - When? 305 00:13:38,305 --> 00:13:40,842 This afternoon, when I got your e-mail. 306 00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:45,984 Woman: Matthew? Matthew! 307 00:13:48,242 --> 00:13:51,479 You left your wife for me? Based on what? 308 00:13:51,514 --> 00:13:53,991 - Your e-mail. - "Dear Matt, how's you life?" 309 00:13:54,093 --> 00:13:55,506 I read between the lines! 310 00:13:55,623 --> 00:13:57,658 There were no lines! 311 00:13:58,425 --> 00:14:00,393 Here, now you tell her that you're coming home. 312 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:03,063 I'm not going back. It's you and me now. 313 00:14:03,130 --> 00:14:04,864 Oh, no, no, no. Matt, you have lost your mind. 314 00:14:05,149 --> 00:14:07,901 Catey, you say you'll run away with me, or I'm letting go! 315 00:14:07,951 --> 00:14:08,956 Oh, stop it! 316 00:14:09,005 --> 00:14:11,137 5, 4, 3 -- 317 00:14:11,204 --> 00:14:15,708 Matthew Walsh, get off the gargoyle! 318 00:14:15,775 --> 00:14:17,443 Come on. 319 00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:19,846 ♪ Livin' on love and free-range chicken ♪ 320 00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:22,549 Forget it. We are not going to Wyoming. 321 00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:24,951 We are not opening a water bed store. 322 00:14:25,017 --> 00:14:27,987 And we're definitely not writing bluegrass songs. 323 00:14:28,054 --> 00:14:29,823 But you said your life wasn't exciting. 324 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,958 That doesn't mean I want to leave it! 325 00:14:32,024 --> 00:14:35,662 I have responsibilities and a family that worships me. 326 00:14:35,729 --> 00:14:37,363 I say let her rot. 327 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:40,166 All this because we were late? We're late all the time. 328 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:42,168 And I always do my homework last minute 329 00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:43,503 and she always helps me. 330 00:14:43,569 --> 00:14:46,906 Boy, if you were my kids and this was around 1955, 331 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,842 I'd be beating you right now. 332 00:14:48,908 --> 00:14:51,677 - What? - That's right, with a switch. 333 00:14:51,744 --> 00:14:54,013 And he'd make you go out back behind the barn 334 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,682 and cut it yourself. 335 00:14:55,748 --> 00:14:56,883 What barn? 336 00:14:56,949 --> 00:15:00,086 Yeah, the '50s, everyone had a barn. 337 00:15:00,153 --> 00:15:01,588 Just listen to you. 338 00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,857 I mean, you took your mother for granted 339 00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:06,092 and sometimes, so do I, but it's wrong. 340 00:15:06,158 --> 00:15:08,127 She takes damned good care of us. 341 00:15:08,194 --> 00:15:09,863 We're hungry, there's food. 342 00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:11,931 If you're hurt, she makes you feel better. 343 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,033 And if there's a mess, she cleans up. 344 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,703 - We clean up. - Oh? 345 00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:19,038 Hey, your mother's up in that room for one night. 346 00:15:19,105 --> 00:15:21,274 I wouldn't blame her if she's up there for a month. 347 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,276 So get off your butts, clean up the mess, 348 00:15:23,343 --> 00:15:25,112 and think about what I just said. 349 00:15:26,346 --> 00:15:29,583 Not you, C.J. you keep sewing. 350 00:15:35,221 --> 00:15:37,256 How you doing? 351 00:15:37,323 --> 00:15:39,492 My foot's a little cold. 352 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:42,195 Wish my loafer hadn't fallen off. 353 00:15:44,263 --> 00:15:46,532 This isn't going at all like I'd planned. 354 00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:48,367 What were you thinking? 355 00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:49,936 I don't know. 356 00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,905 Married Betsy right out of college. 357 00:15:51,972 --> 00:15:53,740 - Betsy monahan? - Yeah. 358 00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:55,808 - That was her on the phone? - Uh-huh. 359 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,745 Oh, she didn't like me back then. 360 00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,647 This isn't gonna help. 361 00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:03,783 And now the kids are grown and out of the house. 362 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,619 - You have kids? - A lot of them. 363 00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,656 I'm about to be a grandfather. 364 00:16:09,722 --> 00:16:12,859 I wonder if that has anything to do with all this? 365 00:16:12,926 --> 00:16:16,496 You know, all night long, you sounded like such a rebel, 366 00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:18,631 such a "born to be wild" man. 367 00:16:18,698 --> 00:16:20,467 Sure sounded good. 368 00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:22,468 What about the motorcycle? 369 00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:25,205 Technically, I'm still out on a test-ride. 370 00:16:27,607 --> 00:16:32,045 I drive a korean hatchback I can't even pronounce. 371 00:16:32,111 --> 00:16:33,379 Six cylinder? 372 00:16:33,446 --> 00:16:35,615 Four. 373 00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:38,985 What about the investments and the markets? 374 00:16:39,052 --> 00:16:43,489 I'm senior vice president of ever-dry roofing systems. 375 00:16:43,556 --> 00:16:45,024 We did this bell tower. 376 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,796 That's Betsy. 377 00:16:49,863 --> 00:16:51,631 That's one hell of a cellphone. 378 00:16:51,697 --> 00:16:53,766 I'm sorry, catey. 379 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,769 This whole evening's been a disaster. 380 00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:59,105 Oh, are you kidding? This is exactly what I needed. 381 00:16:59,172 --> 00:17:01,741 Riding on the back of that motorcycle, 382 00:17:01,807 --> 00:17:05,014 I felt like I was 20 years old and could ride forever. 383 00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:07,547 - Well, then let's go! - Oh, don't start. 384 00:17:07,614 --> 00:17:09,182 Oh, I know. 385 00:17:09,248 --> 00:17:11,518 I guess I was a pile of dynamite waiting to go off 386 00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:13,019 when you came along. 387 00:17:13,086 --> 00:17:15,255 Believe me, 388 00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:18,724 there's plenty of times I want to just Chuck it all. 389 00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,260 You know what stops me? 390 00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:23,963 My kids. 391 00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:27,067 I think about how great they are... 392 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,002 And how awful they are... 393 00:17:30,069 --> 00:17:33,106 And how great they are. 394 00:17:33,173 --> 00:17:35,108 And I don't want to change a thing. 395 00:17:39,311 --> 00:17:41,615 Want to fool around a little bit? 396 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,755 Let's get you home, gramps. 397 00:17:48,822 --> 00:17:51,424 Okay. 398 00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:53,192 Please don't call me that. 399 00:17:53,259 --> 00:17:54,694 Okay. 400 00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:07,607 Rory: Mom? Mom, please come out. 401 00:18:07,673 --> 00:18:11,277 Kerry: Mom, we know you're mad 402 00:18:11,343 --> 00:18:13,213 and you have every right to be. 403 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,883 Mom, we know how lucky we are to have you. 404 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:20,019 Please come out, so we can tell you that face-to-face. 405 00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:21,821 So you can see the tears. 406 00:18:21,888 --> 00:18:25,325 Jim: Catey, it's dad. Come on out. 407 00:18:25,391 --> 00:18:27,260 The lumberjack competition is over, 408 00:18:27,326 --> 00:18:29,562 but I have it on tape if you're interested. 409 00:18:29,629 --> 00:18:32,199 Or we can watch what you want. 410 00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:48,581 Uh, aunt Cate, it's your nephew... 411 00:18:48,648 --> 00:18:50,917 C.J. 412 00:18:50,984 --> 00:18:53,452 Listen, I walked a mile in your shoes tonight, 413 00:18:53,519 --> 00:18:55,421 and I learned something. 414 00:18:55,488 --> 00:18:57,557 You know, taking care of this family 415 00:18:57,623 --> 00:18:59,792 is the hardest job of all. 416 00:18:59,859 --> 00:19:02,695 By the way, I broke a heel. 417 00:19:02,762 --> 00:19:05,265 And I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate 418 00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:06,933 everything you do for me. 419 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,868 Sure, I have to share a room with gramps here, 420 00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:11,003 and I don't get to use the car as much as I'd like -- 421 00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:12,505 she gets the point. 422 00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:16,275 Mom, this is the last thing we're gonna say 423 00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,678 and then we'll leave you alone. 424 00:19:18,745 --> 00:19:21,281 It's just weird when you're this mad at us. 425 00:19:21,348 --> 00:19:24,384 It feels like a piece of us is missing. 426 00:19:26,486 --> 00:19:28,287 Forget it, she's not budging. 427 00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:30,022 She can be such a witch! 428 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:31,991 Let's just go. 429 00:19:32,058 --> 00:19:33,493 Wait, wait, wait. 430 00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:35,295 Oh, mom, we are so sorry. 431 00:19:35,362 --> 00:19:37,464 Look, it's okay. I'm better now. 432 00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:39,465 Well, Cate, we had a little talk tonight 433 00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:41,233 about everybody helping out more 434 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,002 and I think they got the message. 435 00:19:43,069 --> 00:19:44,537 He threatened to beat us. 436 00:19:45,605 --> 00:19:47,807 Thanks, dad, I appreciate it. 437 00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:50,443 Hey, if you're hungry, you're in luck. 438 00:19:50,509 --> 00:19:53,880 I happen to have a boatload of marshmallow pork left. 439 00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:55,581 It's gonna spoil. 440 00:19:55,648 --> 00:19:57,917 Again. 441 00:19:57,984 --> 00:19:59,752 That's all right. I already ate. 442 00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:01,421 When? You were up here all night. 443 00:20:01,488 --> 00:20:03,923 Listening to your old-people music and taking a nap before bed. 444 00:20:05,992 --> 00:20:10,330 Actually, um, I wasn't up here all night. 445 00:20:11,431 --> 00:20:12,698 What do you mean? 446 00:20:12,765 --> 00:20:14,900 You remember that guy on the Internet? 447 00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:17,036 My old boyfriend? Well, he showed up. 448 00:20:17,103 --> 00:20:20,206 He whisked me out the window, we jumped on his motorcycle, 449 00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:22,909 went to this little club called the purple haze. 450 00:20:22,976 --> 00:20:25,578 I had a double cheeseburger, did Tequila shots. 451 00:20:25,644 --> 00:20:28,481 We broke into the bell tower, climbed up to the top, 452 00:20:28,548 --> 00:20:31,450 and I talked him down out of a nervous breakdown. 453 00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:35,888 Um...mom, hear us. 454 00:20:35,955 --> 00:20:39,726 We love you -- dull, boring you. 455 00:20:39,793 --> 00:20:42,294 You don't have to make up these stories. 456 00:20:42,361 --> 00:20:46,065 Come on, mom, come taste the cookies we made. 457 00:20:46,132 --> 00:20:47,867 Okay, I'll be right there. 458 00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:49,202 All right.