1 00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:39,348 GIGI: A girl will never forget the first boy she likes. 2 00:00:41,658 --> 00:00:44,991 Even if things don't quite work out. 3 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,627 Why did you do that? 4 00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:49,897 Because you smell like dog poo. 5 00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:52,796 You're so stupid, just like dog poo. 6 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,368 You're made out of poo! 7 00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:59,066 GIGI: But usually someone is there to offer words of wisdom. 8 00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:00,470 Made... 9 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,008 ...of... 10 00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:03,810 ...dog... 11 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,311 ...poo. 12 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,779 Honey... 13 00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:12,183 ...do you know why that little boy did those things and said those things? 14 00:01:12,355 --> 00:01:14,186 It's because he likes you. 15 00:01:14,858 --> 00:01:16,587 GIGI: And there it is. 16 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,388 That's the beginning of our problem. 17 00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:25,699 That little boy is doing those terrible things because he's got a crush on you. 18 00:01:25,869 --> 00:01:27,200 GIGI: Do you know what this means? 19 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:28,496 We're all encouraged... 20 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:29,831 ... no, programmed... 21 00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,531 ... to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk... 22 00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:35,177 ... that means he likes you. 23 00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:40,272 Here's the problem: He likes you too much. 24 00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:42,315 You're too pretty and too awesome. 25 00:01:42,485 --> 00:01:44,578 - Yes. - He can't handle it. 26 00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:49,687 That Phi Delt so obviously liked you. 27 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,054 I'm sure he just lost your number. 28 00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:58,192 He's not asking you out because he's intimidated by your professional success. 29 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,802 [SPEAKING IN JAPANESE] 30 00:02:08,077 --> 00:02:11,945 Trust me. It's because he's just getting out of a serious relationship. 31 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:16,144 Trust me. It's because he's never had a serious relationship. 32 00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:22,449 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 33 00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:30,666 GIGI: Why do we say this stuff to each other? 34 00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:34,295 Is it possible that it's because we're too scared... 35 00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:37,667 ... and it's too hard to say the one obvious truth... 36 00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:40,833 ... that's staring everyone in the face? 37 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:54,216 [CHATTERING] 38 00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,719 So Janine says you're a real-estate agent. 39 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:02,126 Yeah, but I'm not one of those cheesy ones... 40 00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:05,233 ...that puts my headshots on bus benches and grocery carts. 41 00:03:05,401 --> 00:03:07,733 So just, like, Frisbees and notepads? 42 00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:08,928 Basically. 43 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,005 - It's much classier. - My thoughts exactly. 44 00:03:11,174 --> 00:03:12,698 [GIGI LAUGHING] 45 00:03:14,744 --> 00:03:17,372 Wonder why Janine never thought to introduce us before. 46 00:03:17,547 --> 00:03:19,310 I don't know. I don't know. 47 00:03:19,482 --> 00:03:22,542 - Hey, guys. Want another round? - You want one more? 48 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,885 Only if you do. I mean, if you need to get going, I totally... 49 00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:31,387 Uh... 50 00:03:32,061 --> 00:03:34,154 Okay, well... 51 00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:37,359 Sure. One more. Ketel and soda? 52 00:03:38,234 --> 00:03:39,826 And a beer, please. 53 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,868 WAITRESS: Be right back. 54 00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:46,866 GIGI: Well, Conor, I had a really nice time. - It was really nice meeting you. 55 00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:49,475 - Bye. - See you. 56 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,744 Hey, it's me. 57 00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:01,356 He's cute, and I think it went well. 58 00:04:01,524 --> 00:04:06,086 And I think he might be leaving me a message at home as we speak. 59 00:04:06,262 --> 00:04:10,323 Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. 60 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,425 Oh, that's very sweet of you, Conor. Thanks. 61 00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:16,595 Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a late bite. 62 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,303 Tonight? I... 63 00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:23,536 No, I was supposed to meet friends but I'm burnt out. Don't be mad at me. 64 00:04:23,713 --> 00:04:26,341 No, of course, I'm not mad. Well, I'll be up for a while. 65 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,416 - Do you wanna go ahead of me? - I'll be up. 66 00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:29,846 - Oh, can you hold on? - Okay. 67 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,214 No, that's fine. You just have one thing, so... 68 00:04:32,388 --> 00:04:34,185 No, technically I have six... 69 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,918 ...and I'm mulling over a gum purchase, so I think you should go. 70 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:39,459 Okay. 71 00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:40,891 Let me call you right back. 72 00:04:41,064 --> 00:04:42,088 All right. Okay. 73 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:43,960 - Hi. - Hey. 74 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,294 Just that and that, please. 75 00:04:46,469 --> 00:04:48,300 Thank you. 76 00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:53,973 Oh, my word. 77 00:04:55,778 --> 00:04:57,245 Seriously? That's not possible. 78 00:04:57,413 --> 00:05:00,439 I just deposited cash three days ago, so it's just not possible. 79 00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:03,414 Oh, it's not that. Let me check something. 80 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,585 Congratulations, you won. 81 00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:07,613 What? 82 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:11,851 Our Funky Fall promotion. You're our 1000th customer this month. 83 00:05:12,028 --> 00:05:13,586 What? 84 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,399 Are you kidding me? 85 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,731 I don't do kidding. 86 00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:26,571 Oh, my God. I can't believe this, it's so exciting. 87 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,846 Oh, my God. I never won anything before. 88 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:34,450 This is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. Is that sad? 89 00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:37,548 Yea... No. I don't think so. 90 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,120 - Really? - Yes. 91 00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:42,348 Thank you! Come here. 92 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:44,849 Wow. 93 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,690 MAN [ON TV]:as the Terps move to mid-ice, trying to... 94 00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:51,697 - Hey. - Hey. 95 00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:54,837 - How was the date? - It was fine. Whatever. 96 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,972 - Why are you here? - My cable's out. 97 00:05:57,140 --> 00:06:00,473 Come on, Spiewak, it's not the Ice Capades. 98 00:06:00,643 --> 00:06:03,407 You didn't hear the phone ring by any chance, did you? 99 00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:05,911 - No, I didn't. - Shit. 100 00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:08,778 Anna gave me the old, "I'll call you right back." 101 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,010 Oh, shit, yeah? Well, how long ago? 102 00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:14,953 That was 22 minutes ago. 103 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,848 Do I call back? 104 00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:19,119 Should you call back? No, absolutely not. 105 00:06:20,396 --> 00:06:22,796 I'm gonna call back and say I'm going to bed. 106 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,729 What? No. It's 9:30. You're gonna...? 107 00:06:25,902 --> 00:06:27,062 No, it's a great idea. 108 00:06:27,236 --> 00:06:30,262 I'll call and say, "In case you were gonna call me back, don't... 109 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,567 ...because I'll be sleeping." A genius idea. 110 00:06:32,742 --> 00:06:34,004 ALEX: Okay, no, that's brilliant. 111 00:06:34,177 --> 00:06:37,374 When you wake up you can say, "I'm awake now, I'm available to take your call." 112 00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:38,775 [PHONE RINGS] 113 00:06:38,948 --> 00:06:40,609 Oh, gosh. A second. 114 00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:43,217 - Sorry about that. - It's all right. 115 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,549 I was... 116 00:06:45,721 --> 00:06:47,518 Wait, what was I saying again? 117 00:06:47,957 --> 00:06:50,653 You don't wanna be like your mother, wake up one morning... 118 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,761 ...and realize you never pursued your dreams. 119 00:06:52,929 --> 00:06:54,191 Is that what I was saying? 120 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:55,990 - You want some gum? - No, thank you. 121 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,999 God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat. 122 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,399 - No, that's okay. - Isn't it? 123 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:05,006 - Sorry. - I actually might be able to help. 124 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:09,440 Yeah, I know a guy at my office who deals exclusively with music clients. 125 00:07:09,612 --> 00:07:10,704 - Are you kidding? - Uh-uh. 126 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,541 Oh, my God. 127 00:07:12,715 --> 00:07:15,013 - Are you my savior or something? - No. 128 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:18,017 - Can you hold this for a second? - Yeah. 129 00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:21,253 Oh, this is so unexpected. 130 00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:34,561 Okay... 131 00:07:34,737 --> 00:07:35,761 I don't... 132 00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,140 I'm married. 133 00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:40,439 I don't do this. 134 00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:43,943 You don't do what? You don't help struggling singers? 135 00:07:45,815 --> 00:07:51,151 Not hot yoga-instructing singers... 136 00:07:51,587 --> 00:07:54,181 ...who are incredibly charming. 137 00:07:56,692 --> 00:07:58,523 ANNA: Hm. 138 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,391 Well, you could... You could give me your card. 139 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,965 That's legit, right? Is that allowed? 140 00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,226 I could do that. 141 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,165 - Yeah. - That'd be okay, right? 142 00:08:08,337 --> 00:08:09,998 Yeah. 143 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,739 Great, thank you so much. 144 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,639 Course. Do you need help to your car? 145 00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:18,075 - Where'd you park? - No, I'm fine. It's okay. 146 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,482 - It was very nice to meet you. - Yeah. 147 00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,312 Okay. 148 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,426 Who was that? 149 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,796 - Oh, that was a prospective client. - Oh. 150 00:08:42,538 --> 00:08:44,096 Okay. 151 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,303 I can talk to a woman. It doesn't have to be like that. 152 00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:50,377 No. Absolutely not. 153 00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:53,811 - Just drive. - Relax. 154 00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:14,735 - Hi. - Hi. 155 00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:17,065 - How you doing? - Good. 156 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,209 - Yeah? - Yeah. I just got off the phone. 157 00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,401 - Yeah? - Yeah, with my little sister. 158 00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:25,479 - How's she doing? - She's getting married. 159 00:09:26,015 --> 00:09:27,414 Really? 160 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,982 BETH: Yeah. 161 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,277 NEIL: Great. 162 00:09:30,453 --> 00:09:31,852 You really think that's great? 163 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:33,613 Yeah. 164 00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:35,916 Devon seems like... 165 00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:37,821 ...a great guy. 166 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:43,695 Well, so you think it's great that they're getting married... 167 00:09:43,866 --> 00:09:49,304 ...but you don't ever feel like we're going against nature, or something... 168 00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:51,804 ...by not getting married? 169 00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:54,501 No. 170 00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:59,946 Going against nature is like the cat who suckled that monkey. 171 00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:04,382 You and I are just two people who happen not to be married. 172 00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:08,120 Let me tell you something. People who get married are not to be trusted. 173 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,486 You are so weird. 174 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:11,888 They're not. You know why? 175 00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:14,791 Because if you are so legitimately happy, honestly... 176 00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:17,660 ...you wouldn't feel the need to make a big show out of it. 177 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,528 You wouldn't have to broadcast it. 178 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,465 They do it because they're insecure... 179 00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:24,868 ...and they think getting married's what they're supposed to be doing. 180 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,601 So they're lying to themselves and to other people. 181 00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,108 Seriously. 182 00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:32,645 Think about you and your friends. Okay? 183 00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:35,010 These women you have great relationships with... 184 00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:38,051 ...you're close to them, some of them you've known for years. 185 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,653 But you don't feel the need... 186 00:10:39,822 --> 00:10:45,260 ...to write a $45 check to the state of Maryland for a friendship certificate. 187 00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:47,089 - Yeah. No, I get that. - Right? 188 00:10:47,263 --> 00:10:50,323 Why should it be any different, you know, with me and you? 189 00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:54,094 We're very happy, I love you, I'm committed to you... 190 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,500 ...we have a great life, you know? 191 00:10:56,672 --> 00:10:57,696 Yes, you're right. 192 00:10:57,873 --> 00:11:00,967 Why can't we just be happy? 193 00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:02,804 You're right. 194 00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,572 - I'm gonna get you some more tea. - Okay. 195 00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:13,482 [KIDS SHOUTING] 196 00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:15,817 RECORDING [ON PHONE]: Please enter your pass... 197 00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:17,515 You have no messages. 198 00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:19,593 Main menu. To send a message... 199 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,161 [GRO ANS] 200 00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,623 Okay, so clearly he hasn't called. 201 00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:27,598 Maybe he's away on business. 202 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,796 He sells real estate. In Baltimore. 203 00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:33,305 - Staying in town is his business. - Right. 204 00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,205 Well, look, let me tell you. 205 00:11:35,378 --> 00:11:39,144 After I went out with Ben for the first time, he didn't call me for 11 days. 206 00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:41,840 Eleven days. And now he's the world's best husband. 207 00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:43,211 That happens all the time. 208 00:11:43,386 --> 00:11:44,614 - Really? - Really. 209 00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:46,918 JANINE: You want coffee? 210 00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:49,557 - I got you 2 percent. - Thanks. 211 00:11:54,096 --> 00:11:55,654 This is all your fault. 212 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,662 What? Why? 213 00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,357 You set us up. 214 00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:05,371 No. You asked me if I know any guys, and I gave Conor your phone number. 215 00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:07,168 That's not a setup. 216 00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:10,141 When I do a setup, I weigh the pros and cons. 217 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,371 I do my due diligence. 218 00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:17,008 All I know about Conor is that he sold us this house. 219 00:12:20,556 --> 00:12:23,047 Seriously, stop. 220 00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:26,794 He said he always hangs out after work at the City Supper Club. 221 00:12:26,962 --> 00:12:29,192 Maybe I should do a little drive-by? 222 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,364 Please don't. 223 00:12:32,368 --> 00:12:33,596 He'll call. 224 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,166 AMBER: Okay, I have a question: 225 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,935 Why'd they even invent caller ID? 226 00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:45,376 It's, like, who is this service helping? 227 00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:47,413 I mean, for centuries... 228 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,680 Okay, well maybe not centuries, but for, like, a lot and lot of years... 229 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,914 ...people have been answering their phone, not knowing who it is... 230 00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:57,524 ...and as far as I can tell, no one's died from that. 231 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:02,392 And it's like if the police wanna know who placed a call, they could trace it. 232 00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:04,055 I mean, what am I, the police? 233 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,964 This constant obsession with needing to know who's calling all the time... 234 00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:09,399 ...it's, like, so gross. 235 00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:13,201 Like, you pick up the phone, you find out who it is, then you know. 236 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,842 It's, like... 237 00:13:15,611 --> 00:13:17,476 Look, all I'm saying... 238 00:13:18,414 --> 00:13:22,248 ...if a guy doesn't call me, I would like to reserve the right... 239 00:13:22,418 --> 00:13:25,444 ...to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up. 240 00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,748 But if he looks down and sees my numbers... 241 00:13:27,923 --> 00:13:31,222 ...he's gonna think I'm some kind of psycho or something. 242 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,525 Which I'm not. 243 00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:35,391 Obviously. 244 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,963 [SHOWER RUNNING] 245 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:40,466 [HUMAN LEAGUE'S "DON'T YOU WANT ME" PLAYS ON PHONE] 246 00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,035 Hello? 247 00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,696 Mom. 248 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,809 I gotta call you back. 249 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,479 INSTRUCTOR: Inhale. Upward-facing dog. 250 00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:55,014 Look up towards the ceiling. 251 00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:57,948 Look up towards the ceiling. 252 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,888 GIGI: He ordered more drinks for us when the waitress came. 253 00:14:01,056 --> 00:14:02,990 He remembered exactly what I wanted. 254 00:14:03,158 --> 00:14:05,649 He initiated the hug. He said it was nice meeting me. 255 00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:09,855 So wait. This was at the end of the date or the beginning of the date? 256 00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:12,330 End. Why, does it matter? 257 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,834 Yeah. "Nice meeting you" at the beginning of the date, that's normal. 258 00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:18,269 "Nice meeting you" at the end of the date... 259 00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,331 It could be a blowoff. 260 00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:22,375 Maybe it was at the beginning. 261 00:14:22,545 --> 00:14:25,605 Okay. That's fine. He's gonna call. 262 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,214 Or maybe it was at the end. 263 00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:29,442 Or maybe it was just nice to meet me. 264 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,108 BETH: Help. 265 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,551 Hi. This is torture. 266 00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:36,657 How am I supposed to come up with something pithy and dynamic... 267 00:14:36,825 --> 00:14:38,292 ...to say about cinnamon blends? 268 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,927 It's hard to focus on nutmeg... 269 00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,529 ...when the guy who might be the guy of my dreams... 270 00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,996 ...refuses to call me. 271 00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,768 After my first date with Neil... 272 00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:48,961 ...I called him. 273 00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:51,933 There are no rules anymore. 274 00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:55,702 And, I mean, why should you have to wait for him to get off his ass? 275 00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:03,309 - It's ringing. - That's pretty standard. 276 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,350 - Hey, you've reached Conor. - Yes! Voicemail. 277 00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:08,354 - Leave a message, I'll get back to you. - Notes. 278 00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:10,355 "Hey, Conor, it's Gigi. 279 00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:12,494 I just thought, I hadn't heard from you... 280 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:17,894 ...and how stupid is it that a gal has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?" 281 00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,029 [MOUTHING] What does that say? What's that say? 282 00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:25,202 Because we're all equal, right? 283 00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:27,239 More than equal. 284 00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:30,242 More women are accepted into law school now than men. 285 00:15:30,412 --> 00:15:32,846 And, I mean, I don't know if you saw that Dateline... 286 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,677 ...but women practically have penises now, right? So... 287 00:15:36,785 --> 00:15:37,809 Call me. 288 00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:40,455 Oh, this is Gigi. Call me. 289 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,756 Don't worry, he's totally gonna call. 290 00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:49,030 [SIGHS] 291 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,812 What? 292 00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:09,280 How can there not be a dial tone? How can there not be a dial tone? 293 00:16:09,818 --> 00:16:11,877 No dial tone. Come here, dial tone. 294 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,282 WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Gigi, are you there? 295 00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:14,820 Hello, Gigi? 296 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:16,423 - Mom, is that you? - Yes. 297 00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:20,255 - I can't talk now, I'll call you back. - Wait, I need you to... 298 00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:22,589 [DIAL TONE] 299 00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:29,494 Hi, it's Janine. Leave a message. 300 00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:31,071 Hi, Janine, it's me. 301 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,366 Conor never called... 302 00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:37,274 ...so I'm on the precipice of staging a casual run-in at the City Supper Club. 303 00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:39,346 Pick up if you wanna stop me. 304 00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:44,415 All right, I'm interpreting your silence as tacit compliance. Bye. 305 00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,282 BARTENDER: What's up, girl? - Hey. 306 00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:52,620 - How are you? - Good. 307 00:16:58,667 --> 00:16:59,759 Knock, knock. 308 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,300 Hey. 309 00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:03,704 So... 310 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,006 ...here we are. Same shift again. 311 00:17:08,711 --> 00:17:11,441 I know. I make the schedule. Remember? 312 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:15,014 Well, I figured it was no coincidence. 313 00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:21,049 I had... 314 00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,323 ...a good time the other night. 315 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,986 Yeah. 316 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,720 It's amazing where 10 shots of Patrón will get you. 317 00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:29,420 [LAUGHS] 318 00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:33,494 So I was thinking... 319 00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:36,765 ...after work we could... 320 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:38,830 You know... 321 00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:45,537 Look, Kelli Ann, what happened between us the other night was fun. 322 00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:46,874 It was definitely fun. 323 00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:49,950 But we're way understaffed tonight. I even have to man the bar. 324 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,145 So that's why I scheduled you. 325 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,187 To work. 326 00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:56,984 So... 327 00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:01,090 Are we good? 328 00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,556 - Nope, we're good. - Okay. 329 00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:05,961 Hey, oh, Kelli Ann. 330 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:08,535 Hey, babe, could you get the door? Thanks. 331 00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:15,672 [UP-TEMPOED MUSIC PLAYING] 332 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,881 KELLI ANN: Hi. Are you joining us for dinner, or...? 333 00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,381 I'm meeting someone. A guy. 334 00:18:23,552 --> 00:18:25,019 KELLI ANN: Why? - Hm? 335 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,052 Nothing. Sorry. For dinner? 336 00:18:28,824 --> 00:18:29,848 I'll wait at the bar. 337 00:18:31,393 --> 00:18:32,951 That's a great idea. 338 00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:42,701 What can I get you? 339 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,270 Oh, no, I'm meeting someone. 340 00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:47,135 Oh yeah? What, you got a hot date? 341 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,873 I don't know if you'd call it "hot." 342 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,309 This guy Conor and I have only been out one time... 343 00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,073 Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry? 344 00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:55,540 Yeah. 345 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,708 Conor's not coming in tonight. Thanks a lot. 346 00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,446 Did he forget he was supposed to meet you here? 347 00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:04,490 Oh, see, when I said "meeting someone," I guess it was kind of a broad term. 348 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,685 A wide interpretation of the word "meeting." 349 00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,921 Right. You know what? I'll call him. 350 00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:12,260 Oh, no. I mean, just totally unnecessary. 351 00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:15,733 Okay. 352 00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,701 I just was actually in the area... 353 00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:21,138 ...and so I just figured I'd swing by and see if he was around. 354 00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:25,610 Because I had to return his pen. 355 00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:27,879 Had to return this pen. He left this. 356 00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:33,010 And I just thought I should really return it before he, you know, freaks out. 357 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,617 Yeah. Okay, I'll get it to him. 358 00:19:36,558 --> 00:19:37,616 Thanks. 359 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,463 "Wilson Ward, DDS, Adult, Child and Geriatric Dentistry." 360 00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,900 Look, I'm not going to judge what may or may not be important to someone. 361 00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,595 Yeah. That's not even his dentist, though. 362 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,501 Oh, really. Who is? 363 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,967 My dad. 364 00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:02,209 Oh. 365 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,753 I'm Gigi. I went out with Conor last week. 366 00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:11,324 And I just... 367 00:20:13,095 --> 00:20:15,928 I thought if I just ran into him... 368 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,858 I don't know. I'm gonna go. 369 00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:21,662 Wait. 370 00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:22,861 Wait, just... 371 00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:25,131 Hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink. 372 00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:28,867 One drink. Okay? 373 00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:32,976 Give me two seconds, I'll be right back. 374 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:38,715 ALEX: Look, you seem like a cool girl, so I'm just gonna be honest with you. 375 00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,185 Conor's never gonna call you. 376 00:20:41,356 --> 00:20:43,950 Oh, really. How do you know? 377 00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:46,651 Because I'm a guy, and it's just how we do it. 378 00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,295 He said it was nice meeting me. 379 00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:50,988 I don't care if he said you were his favorite female... 380 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,498 ...since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham. 381 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,832 Over a week went by, okay, Gigi? And he didn't call you. 382 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:59,633 But maybe he did call and I didn't get the message. 383 00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:01,207 Or maybe he lost my number... 384 00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:05,403 ...or he's out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died. 385 00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:08,572 Or he didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again. 386 00:21:10,552 --> 00:21:14,181 Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never called. 387 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,914 She totally wrote him off. 388 00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:17,786 - Over a year goes by. - Right. 389 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,621 She ran into him, and it ended up that... 390 00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:22,457 Your friend Terri's an idiot. She's also the exception... 391 00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,622 ...by the way. The rare exception. 392 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,667 Okay. Okay. But what if I'm the exception? 393 00:21:27,836 --> 00:21:30,600 No, you're not. You're not at all. In fact, you're the rule. 394 00:21:30,772 --> 00:21:35,175 And the rule is this: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't wanna call you. 395 00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:36,971 - Really? - Yeah. 396 00:21:37,145 --> 00:21:38,942 - Always? - Yeah, always. 397 00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:43,141 Look, I know what blowing off a woman looks like, okay? 398 00:21:43,318 --> 00:21:45,786 I do it early, I do it often. 399 00:21:45,954 --> 00:21:50,414 So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit... 400 00:21:50,592 --> 00:21:53,083 ...he genuinely doesn't give a shit. 401 00:21:53,261 --> 00:21:55,126 No exceptions. 402 00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:07,035 Thank you. 403 00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:10,335 Given me a lot to think about. 404 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:18,686 GIGI: Morning, morning. MAN: Excuse me. 405 00:22:18,854 --> 00:22:20,014 - Hi. - Hi. 406 00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:21,450 Everything okay? 407 00:22:21,623 --> 00:22:22,749 Oh, I was up all night. 408 00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:24,949 Please say you were working on the nutmeg copy. 409 00:22:25,127 --> 00:22:28,255 Sure. It's basically done. I have to tell you something important. 410 00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,295 JANINE: Sweetie? What's going on with your hair? 411 00:22:30,465 --> 00:22:33,798 Yeah, come here before people see you have a mini muffin in your hair. 412 00:22:33,969 --> 00:22:35,630 Okay. 413 00:22:35,804 --> 00:22:37,135 So... 414 00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:42,472 Thank you. I think I figured it out. 415 00:22:43,211 --> 00:22:45,771 Remember that notary public who cheated on me? 416 00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:49,246 Then Anastasia told me her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning... 417 00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:52,512 ...but then he changed and now they're married and crazy in love? 418 00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:55,555 - I thought that guy was a process server. - No, notary. 419 00:22:55,724 --> 00:22:58,659 Anyway, my point is, Anastasia's the exception, not the rule. 420 00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:00,795 We have to stop listening to these stories. 421 00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,022 The rule is that guys who cheat on you don't care about you much. 422 00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:08,427 - Okay. - Okay, so Exhibit A: 423 00:23:08,603 --> 00:23:11,401 Chad, the drummer who lived in a storage space. 424 00:23:11,573 --> 00:23:15,407 He only used me for rides, and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. 425 00:23:15,577 --> 00:23:18,102 And then... Oh, there was Don... 426 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,841 ...who broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. 427 00:23:22,017 --> 00:23:23,917 I was delusional about that relationship. 428 00:23:24,086 --> 00:23:26,577 I'd refer to him as my husband to my dental hygienist. 429 00:23:26,755 --> 00:23:29,019 And all of my friends used to tell me stories... 430 00:23:29,191 --> 00:23:31,819 ...about how things might work out with these dipshits... 431 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:34,791 ...because they knew someone who dated a dipshit like mine... 432 00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:36,931 ...and that girl ended up getting married. 433 00:23:37,099 --> 00:23:40,159 But that's the exception. We're not the exception, we're the rule. 434 00:23:45,707 --> 00:23:48,972 Okay, let me just see if I understand. 435 00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:50,844 So what you're saying is... 436 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:54,311 ...if I hear a story about a girl who's been with a guy for 13 years... 437 00:23:54,483 --> 00:23:57,008 ...and he finally married her, that's the exception. 438 00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:58,812 Yes. 439 00:23:58,987 --> 00:24:01,854 But the rule are guys like Neil... 440 00:24:02,657 --> 00:24:05,956 ...who are with girls like me... 441 00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:08,653 ...for seven years and aren't married... 442 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,388 ...they're never getting married. 443 00:24:10,832 --> 00:24:12,231 - No. - No. 444 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,924 - No, no, no. No, no, no. - No. 445 00:24:14,102 --> 00:24:17,970 - It's not what she meant in that... - No, it's got nothing to do with you. 446 00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:20,267 I absolutely was not talking about you. 447 00:24:20,442 --> 00:24:24,378 - These are specific relationship situations. - I was talking about myself specifically. 448 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,140 GIGI: Just me specifically, you know? 449 00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:34,248 This guy is, like, impossible not to like, you know? 450 00:24:34,422 --> 00:24:37,687 He's flirting with me pretty heavily outside of the Handy Mart... 451 00:24:37,859 --> 00:24:41,955 ...and, you know, everything just kind of lines up, it's really magical. 452 00:24:42,130 --> 00:24:44,121 And then he tells me that he's married. 453 00:24:44,299 --> 00:24:46,733 Which, of course, I should be pissed about, right? 454 00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,928 But I just can't stop thinking about him. 455 00:24:50,105 --> 00:24:51,299 But he's married. 456 00:24:51,473 --> 00:24:54,909 I know, I realize that. I don't know what's wrong with me. 457 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,338 What's wrong with me? 458 00:24:57,879 --> 00:24:59,369 Okay. 459 00:24:59,548 --> 00:25:02,312 I know this guy, he works in my dad's printing business. 460 00:25:02,484 --> 00:25:07,080 And he was married for 15 years to a nice lady. 461 00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,954 And one night he meets this woman at some church event. 462 00:25:12,127 --> 00:25:16,461 And he tells my dad that he's never felt anything like it before. 463 00:25:17,132 --> 00:25:19,999 That he had finally met the one. 464 00:25:20,168 --> 00:25:21,931 So he divorced his wife... 465 00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:25,368 ...and he's been with this other woman for 22 years... 466 00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:27,838 ...and they're insanely happy. 467 00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:30,603 I mean, what if you meet the love of your life... 468 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,872 ...but you already married someone else? 469 00:25:33,048 --> 00:25:35,175 Are you supposed to let them pass you by? 470 00:25:37,519 --> 00:25:40,955 You're right. Okay. 471 00:25:41,656 --> 00:25:42,782 I'm gonna call him. 472 00:25:43,592 --> 00:25:45,116 Okay. 473 00:26:00,475 --> 00:26:02,966 BEN: Hello? - Hey, Ben. This is Anna Marks. 474 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:05,544 Hey, Anna. What's up? 475 00:26:05,714 --> 00:26:08,808 Nothing, I was just... I was taking you up on your offer. 476 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:13,421 I know you said you had a couple of contacts you thought could help me. 477 00:26:13,588 --> 00:26:18,855 And I thought maybe we could talk about it over coffee or something like that. 478 00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:24,294 Look, I just... 479 00:26:26,134 --> 00:26:28,102 I can't, Anna. 480 00:26:29,237 --> 00:26:31,762 You seemed great. I just... I don't know. 481 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,908 I should probably go. 482 00:26:34,075 --> 00:26:35,770 Take care, though. Bye. 483 00:26:43,652 --> 00:26:44,778 - Hey. - Hey. 484 00:26:44,953 --> 00:26:46,352 - I'm psyched you called. - Cool. 485 00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,955 Kind of given up on you when you didn't call me back. 486 00:26:49,124 --> 00:26:50,785 I was just thinking about you. 487 00:26:50,959 --> 00:26:52,756 - Want a glass of wine? - Sure. 488 00:26:52,927 --> 00:26:54,758 Okay, what were the categories again? 489 00:26:54,929 --> 00:26:56,760 Four categories: 490 00:26:56,931 --> 00:27:00,492 Smart, sexy, funny and cute. 491 00:27:00,669 --> 00:27:02,830 But you can only be two things. 492 00:27:03,004 --> 00:27:07,338 Like Sarah Jessica Parker would be funny and sexy. 493 00:27:07,509 --> 00:27:09,477 Bill Clinton would be smart and sexy. 494 00:27:09,644 --> 00:27:11,475 I can't believe you're hot for Clinton. 495 00:27:11,646 --> 00:27:13,170 Go. What am I? 496 00:27:13,348 --> 00:27:14,508 Wait, what was I again? 497 00:27:14,683 --> 00:27:16,514 You're smart and cute. 498 00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:19,711 Okay, you are sexy, very sexy. 499 00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,412 And cute. 500 00:27:22,357 --> 00:27:24,086 No, you can't... 501 00:27:24,259 --> 00:27:26,386 Sexy and cute are both in the looks column. 502 00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,324 Nobody wants to be all in one column. 503 00:27:28,496 --> 00:27:32,455 I sound like a jackass if I say you're all four, which obviously you are. 504 00:27:32,634 --> 00:27:34,829 Especially sexy. 505 00:27:35,003 --> 00:27:36,834 ANNA: You're the best. 506 00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:43,567 I better go. 507 00:27:43,945 --> 00:27:47,938 Okay, well, you know you could stay here if you want. 508 00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:50,381 What? It's been a while. 509 00:27:50,552 --> 00:27:52,281 No, I can't. 510 00:27:52,454 --> 00:27:54,888 I can't stay, I'm totally... 511 00:27:55,056 --> 00:27:56,648 I'm totally, totally fried. 512 00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:58,019 Is that okay? 513 00:27:58,193 --> 00:27:59,626 Yeah. 514 00:28:04,165 --> 00:28:05,757 I'll see you later. 515 00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:07,367 Bye. 516 00:28:12,974 --> 00:28:15,067 [HAMMERING] 517 00:28:17,746 --> 00:28:19,304 NEIL: Hey. 518 00:28:19,914 --> 00:28:21,438 That look straight to you? 519 00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:23,811 Why are you hanging that? 520 00:28:24,753 --> 00:28:27,847 Because you asked me to about three weeks ago. 521 00:28:28,022 --> 00:28:30,217 I'm getting around to it. 522 00:28:30,392 --> 00:28:32,417 Why? You don't want it here? 523 00:28:32,594 --> 00:28:34,289 No, I love it there. But just stop. 524 00:28:34,929 --> 00:28:36,920 Why? Is it the painting? 525 00:28:37,098 --> 00:28:42,058 You know, I know, it looks kind of like a deflated boob here. 526 00:28:42,237 --> 00:28:43,534 Right? I know. 527 00:28:43,705 --> 00:28:46,173 It's gonna be depressing. Should I take it down? 528 00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:50,208 No, I want you to stop doing anything nice. 529 00:28:52,647 --> 00:28:54,376 This feels like a trick. 530 00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,016 - No. - No? 531 00:28:56,184 --> 00:29:00,177 No, I just... I just need you to stop being nice to me... 532 00:29:00,355 --> 00:29:02,346 ...unless you're gonna marry me after. 533 00:29:02,524 --> 00:29:03,889 [CHUCKLES] 534 00:29:04,058 --> 00:29:06,049 Is that funny? 535 00:29:06,227 --> 00:29:07,694 Do you think that's funny? 536 00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:11,221 No, I guess it's not funny. 537 00:29:11,399 --> 00:29:13,333 See, you can't keep being nice to me... 538 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:17,198 ...and I can't keep pretending that this is something that it's not. 539 00:29:17,572 --> 00:29:20,666 We've been together for over seven years. 540 00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,366 You know me, you know who I am. 541 00:29:22,544 --> 00:29:25,377 You either wanna marry me or you don't. 542 00:29:27,882 --> 00:29:30,248 Or there's the possibility... 543 00:29:30,485 --> 00:29:33,750 ...that I mean it when I say I don't believe in marriage... 544 00:29:33,922 --> 00:29:35,389 Bullshit. 545 00:29:35,557 --> 00:29:36,581 Bullshit. 546 00:29:36,758 --> 00:29:39,090 Come on, it's bullshit for every woman... 547 00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:42,855 ...that has been told by some man that he doesn't believe in marriage... 548 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:48,492 ...and then six months later he's married to some 24-year-old that he met at a gym. 549 00:29:48,670 --> 00:29:50,570 It's just... It's bullshit. 550 00:29:50,738 --> 00:29:52,205 Where is this coming from? 551 00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:55,399 From the place I've been hiding from you for about five years. 552 00:29:55,577 --> 00:29:56,601 Okay. 553 00:29:56,778 --> 00:29:59,372 Five years, because I haven't wanted to seem demanding. 554 00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:04,143 And I haven't wanted to seem clingy or psycho. 555 00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,444 Or whatever. 556 00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:08,748 So I haven't asked you. 557 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,821 But I... 558 00:30:13,928 --> 00:30:15,725 I have to. 559 00:30:17,198 --> 00:30:19,029 I mean... 560 00:30:21,636 --> 00:30:24,503 ...are you ever gonna marry me? 561 00:30:42,724 --> 00:30:45,158 Oh, I can't do this anymore. 562 00:31:02,977 --> 00:31:05,138 ANGELA: I used to think that I had never been dumped. 563 00:31:05,313 --> 00:31:07,304 Yeah, then we started comparing notes. 564 00:31:07,482 --> 00:31:11,509 Then we realized we've both been dumped by every man we've ever been with. 565 00:31:11,686 --> 00:31:13,313 - Every one. - Yeah. 566 00:31:13,488 --> 00:31:16,013 - But they do it so skillfully. - Mm-hm. 567 00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:19,523 They just so sneaky that you think it was your idea. 568 00:31:19,694 --> 00:31:21,924 Yeah. You're sitting back and you're like: 569 00:31:22,096 --> 00:31:25,964 "Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone?" 570 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:28,625 "Why am I unhappy? Why have I gained 20 pounds?" 571 00:31:28,803 --> 00:31:31,203 - They Jedi mind-trick you. - Yes, they do. 572 00:31:31,372 --> 00:31:32,805 - So they do a soft pass. - Yeah. 573 00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:35,033 They got little lines they like to tell you. 574 00:31:35,209 --> 00:31:37,074 Like, "I don't wanna stand in your way." 575 00:31:37,245 --> 00:31:40,646 Or, "You're perfect, it's just I have to work on myself." 576 00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:42,874 Right. "I'm just thinking of your happiness." 577 00:31:43,051 --> 00:31:45,645 "Oh, I don't deserve you." That's my favorite one. 578 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:47,219 You know the other one I like? 579 00:31:47,388 --> 00:31:49,856 "I am so jealous of the guy who gets to marry you." 580 00:31:50,024 --> 00:31:51,821 - Well, that could have been you. - Yeah. 581 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:53,688 That's what I was leaning towards. 582 00:31:53,861 --> 00:31:55,829 Yeah. And the second you hear that... 583 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,989 ...run to the store, get yourself some ribs and some ice cream... 584 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,896 ...because you have been dumped. 585 00:32:01,469 --> 00:32:03,494 Hey Anna, it's Ben. 586 00:32:03,671 --> 00:32:06,572 Listen, I know it's been a while since you called. 587 00:32:06,741 --> 00:32:09,835 It's just... It took me by surprise. 588 00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:12,411 But I did offer to help you with your career... 589 00:32:12,580 --> 00:32:14,673 ...and I don't see why I can't do that, right? 590 00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,441 So why don't you give me a call... 591 00:32:16,618 --> 00:32:19,143 ...and maybe you can come by the office or something. 592 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,811 Okay? All right, take care. Bye. 593 00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:23,116 JANINE: Hey, you. 594 00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:25,316 Oh, shit. 595 00:32:25,493 --> 00:32:28,428 - What? - You scared me. 596 00:32:28,596 --> 00:32:30,427 - You okay? - Yeah. 597 00:32:30,598 --> 00:32:32,429 Everything's fine. 598 00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:33,996 Are you smoking again? 599 00:32:34,168 --> 00:32:36,227 No, sweetie, I'm not smoking. 600 00:32:36,404 --> 00:32:37,428 Why? 601 00:32:37,605 --> 00:32:39,095 You get jumpy when you smoke. 602 00:32:39,273 --> 00:32:40,865 I'm not smoking, I promise. 603 00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:43,101 No, I was just sitting here... 604 00:32:43,277 --> 00:32:46,940 ...trying to picture what this room's gonna look like when it's finished. 605 00:32:47,115 --> 00:32:48,377 - I like that game. - You do? 606 00:32:48,549 --> 00:32:49,948 Yeah. 607 00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,577 What color did you picture? 608 00:32:53,755 --> 00:32:55,723 That's where I got stuck. 609 00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:57,289 Yeah. 610 00:32:58,426 --> 00:33:00,394 I was thinking... 611 00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:03,692 ...maybe yellow. 612 00:33:04,365 --> 00:33:07,266 - Yellow? Okay. - Yeah. I mean, it's neutral. 613 00:33:07,435 --> 00:33:11,269 - Mm-hm. - Yeah. So it could be whatever. 614 00:33:11,439 --> 00:33:14,931 It could be an office, it could be a guest room... 615 00:33:15,109 --> 00:33:17,805 ...a gym, a baby's room... 616 00:33:17,979 --> 00:33:19,742 [LAUGHS] 617 00:33:21,683 --> 00:33:24,550 Wait, did you mean "neutral," or "gender-neutral"? 618 00:33:24,719 --> 00:33:28,280 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, really? 619 00:33:30,224 --> 00:33:32,920 I know we said we'd wait to talk about it. 620 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:34,823 BEN: Uh-huh. - Mm-hm. 621 00:33:35,697 --> 00:33:41,431 But I think that we're almost ready to start talking about it. 622 00:33:53,481 --> 00:33:55,779 [UP-TEMPOED MUSIC PLAYING] 623 00:33:57,819 --> 00:34:00,379 JARRAD: So that's the last time I do anything pro bono. 624 00:34:00,555 --> 00:34:01,817 [GIGI LAUGHS] 625 00:34:03,658 --> 00:34:06,650 Well, ladies, I guess I have to get back to the office. 626 00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:10,492 You go back to the office after happy hour? What's happy about that? 627 00:34:10,665 --> 00:34:12,223 I met you. 628 00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:17,026 I would love to call you sometime. Do you have a card? 629 00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,033 - Of course. - Oh, great. 630 00:34:20,208 --> 00:34:23,371 Here is my info. 631 00:34:24,378 --> 00:34:26,471 - Nice to meet you, Janine. - Nice to meet you. 632 00:34:27,181 --> 00:34:28,876 Look forward to hearing from you, Gigi. 633 00:34:31,085 --> 00:34:32,575 Oh, wait. 634 00:34:34,021 --> 00:34:35,318 So... 635 00:34:35,723 --> 00:34:37,156 ...how are we doing this? 636 00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:40,317 Are you hearing from me or am I getting a call? 637 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:41,519 What? 638 00:34:42,029 --> 00:34:43,690 You said you'd love to call me... 639 00:34:43,865 --> 00:34:46,766 ...but then you said, "Look forward to hearing from you," and... 640 00:34:46,934 --> 00:34:48,834 You see how that's kind of confusing? 641 00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:51,870 Yeah, look, we'll talk. We'll get in touch. 642 00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:55,368 You did it again. Very vague. 643 00:34:55,543 --> 00:34:58,205 You know what? Let's just say that you'll call me... 644 00:34:58,379 --> 00:35:00,973 ...and then we can skip all the nonsense. 645 00:35:01,149 --> 00:35:03,014 Goodbye, Gigi. 646 00:35:13,094 --> 00:35:16,757 - He was cute. - Yeah, please don't cyber-stalk him. 647 00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:20,791 What are you doing? 648 00:35:20,968 --> 00:35:22,128 I'm not calling him. 649 00:35:22,303 --> 00:35:24,601 If he wants to see me, he'll call. 650 00:35:24,839 --> 00:35:26,067 Wow. 651 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:29,266 That guy Alex really made an impression on you. 652 00:35:29,443 --> 00:35:30,637 Was he hot? 653 00:35:30,812 --> 00:35:33,337 No. He was just... 654 00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:34,708 ...right. 655 00:35:36,350 --> 00:35:37,715 Morning. 656 00:35:37,885 --> 00:35:39,477 Morning, Ryan. 657 00:35:39,654 --> 00:35:42,521 A surprise mocha venti just because you're so awesome. 658 00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:45,124 - Love you. - Love you. 659 00:35:46,093 --> 00:35:47,390 Good morning. 660 00:35:57,705 --> 00:35:59,798 Okay. 661 00:36:03,477 --> 00:36:04,501 So? 662 00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:06,604 Oh, hi. 663 00:36:12,220 --> 00:36:14,415 - He asked me out. NATHAN: Oh, my God. He called? 664 00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:18,118 MARY: Well... - He e-mailed? 665 00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:19,782 - No. BRUCE: What? 666 00:36:19,961 --> 00:36:21,986 Left his calling card with your lady-in-waiting? 667 00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:26,963 - He MySpaced me. - Ouch. 668 00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:31,500 - Oh. - Oh, girl, I don't know about that. 669 00:36:31,672 --> 00:36:35,301 My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call. 670 00:36:36,244 --> 00:36:38,712 Well, what am I supposed to do? 671 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,507 I mean, things have changed. 672 00:36:40,681 --> 00:36:43,013 People don't meet each other organically anymore. 673 00:36:43,184 --> 00:36:47,143 If I would like to make myself seem more attractive to the opposite sex... 674 00:36:47,321 --> 00:36:50,381 ...I don't go and get a new haircut, I update my profile. 675 00:36:50,558 --> 00:36:52,458 That's just the way it is, you know? 676 00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:53,651 [PHONE RINGING] 677 00:36:53,828 --> 00:36:55,022 NATHAN: Yeah, she's right. 678 00:36:55,196 --> 00:36:57,460 Back, back, back, back. 679 00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:00,530 Ad sales, this is Mary. 680 00:37:00,701 --> 00:37:04,865 Hi, Mary, this is Conor, Anna's friend, or whatever. 681 00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:06,063 Hi. 682 00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,965 So, what'd you think? 683 00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:11,475 Looking at it right now. I'm not sure about this. 684 00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:12,908 Oh, you have to trust me. 685 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,640 It's a burgeoning market, you're gonna make a fortune. 686 00:37:15,816 --> 00:37:18,944 I know. Did you have to put me with the massage ads? 687 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,681 Well, it was either that or the page with the personals, so... 688 00:37:22,857 --> 00:37:24,722 This page gets a lot of action. 689 00:37:24,892 --> 00:37:26,723 Yeah, I guess you're right. 690 00:37:26,894 --> 00:37:28,555 Hey, have you spoken to Anna lately? 691 00:37:28,729 --> 00:37:30,356 Yeah. 692 00:37:32,266 --> 00:37:33,893 Okay. 693 00:37:35,102 --> 00:37:37,366 All right, Mary, I'll talk to you soon. Thank you. 694 00:37:37,538 --> 00:37:38,971 Bye. 695 00:37:39,707 --> 00:37:42,835 PAIGE: What I'm trying to show you is that there's a difference. 696 00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,808 There is a difference. 697 00:37:44,979 --> 00:37:48,813 BETH: Hey, how did you get Aunt Linda to sew these dresses in two weeks? 698 00:37:48,983 --> 00:37:50,211 PAIGE: She wanted to do it. 699 00:37:50,384 --> 00:37:53,751 LAURA: Really? She told me she felt like an old Indonesian lady in a sweat shop. 700 00:37:53,921 --> 00:37:55,684 - Is that not right? PAIGE: No, she didn't. 701 00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:56,948 LAURA: No? 702 00:37:57,124 --> 00:38:01,356 BETH: What's the...? Why the big rush to get married? 703 00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:05,863 PAIGE: Because I am not having my wedding during a gross Baltimore winter... 704 00:38:06,033 --> 00:38:07,898 ...and I am not waiting till spring. 705 00:38:08,069 --> 00:38:10,060 You are so pregnant. 706 00:38:10,237 --> 00:38:11,761 PAIGE: Oh, God, I'm not pregnant. 707 00:38:11,939 --> 00:38:13,907 I'm not pregnant. That's ridiculous. 708 00:38:14,075 --> 00:38:16,270 - Chug a beer then. PAIGE: No, I'm not chugging a beer. 709 00:38:16,444 --> 00:38:17,468 CATHERINE: Chug a beer. 710 00:38:17,645 --> 00:38:19,374 PAIGE: We're in love, you assholes. 711 00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:23,108 That's what people do when they're in love, they get married. 712 00:38:25,953 --> 00:38:29,548 But you know what? Not everybody gets married, you know? 713 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:33,216 There are many people who never get married. 714 00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,026 Well, thanks for the inspirational pep talk. 715 00:38:36,197 --> 00:38:40,258 What she meant to say was that it's fine that you broke up with Neil. 716 00:38:40,434 --> 00:38:41,458 Right. 717 00:38:41,635 --> 00:38:44,399 Tons of people make the choice to be alone. They're happy. 718 00:38:45,306 --> 00:38:47,001 Look at Al Pacino. 719 00:38:47,174 --> 00:38:50,439 Never been married, happy as a clam. 720 00:38:50,611 --> 00:38:54,240 Would that...? Am l...? Would I be Al Pacino in this scenario? 721 00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,508 No, Bethie, we just... We want you to be happy. 722 00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:59,977 Well, then you should have rethought the coral. 723 00:39:00,154 --> 00:39:02,054 LAURA: Oh, her face. 724 00:39:02,223 --> 00:39:03,656 - Your face. - Don't make her cry. 725 00:39:03,824 --> 00:39:05,815 I'm sick of these coral jokes. 726 00:39:05,993 --> 00:39:08,928 I know, you're sensitive. Trust me, I get it. 727 00:39:09,096 --> 00:39:12,691 Hey, why don't you have dinner with me and Steven and the kids... 728 00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:14,391 ...then you can just stay over...? 729 00:39:14,568 --> 00:39:16,934 Why'd she wanna hang out with you and your husband? 730 00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:18,696 The last thing I'd feel like doing. 731 00:39:18,873 --> 00:39:20,773 If being in this wedding is too painful... 732 00:39:20,941 --> 00:39:24,570 Oh, God, you guys. Please, stop it. Relax, relax. 733 00:39:25,046 --> 00:39:27,344 That's enough, okay? Seriously, you guys, I'm f... 734 00:39:27,515 --> 00:39:31,679 I've gone through breakups before. If you remember, I handle them quite well. 735 00:39:31,852 --> 00:39:36,186 You've been there, you've seen it. I'm perfectly capable of doing this. 736 00:39:36,357 --> 00:39:37,949 I can do it again. 737 00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:40,320 I want you to stop worrying about me. 738 00:39:40,494 --> 00:39:42,359 I'm fine. 739 00:39:43,230 --> 00:39:45,357 BEN: I know it's here somewhere. 740 00:39:45,533 --> 00:39:50,596 I spoke with George Lane in Music. He had a whole list of references for you. 741 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,908 Well, that's okay. You can just call me when you find it. 742 00:39:58,446 --> 00:40:01,711 I swear I didn't lure you here under false pretenses. 743 00:40:01,882 --> 00:40:03,611 I know. 744 00:40:03,784 --> 00:40:05,149 A girl can dream, though. 745 00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,215 You're just too good a guy. 746 00:40:15,362 --> 00:40:16,351 [SIGHS] 747 00:40:17,998 --> 00:40:19,192 Why are you married again? 748 00:40:19,433 --> 00:40:20,627 [LAUGHS] 749 00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:23,296 Seriously, why? 750 00:40:23,471 --> 00:40:26,167 No, I really think that it would be good for me to know... 751 00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:29,207 ...why you cannot live without this other woman. 752 00:40:30,644 --> 00:40:35,775 Well, we'd been together since college and she gave me an ultimatum. 753 00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:39,545 She said, "Either we get married or we break up." 754 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:41,085 So we got married. 755 00:40:41,922 --> 00:40:44,220 Wow. You caved. 756 00:40:46,460 --> 00:40:47,586 It's complicated. 757 00:40:48,062 --> 00:40:49,495 Really? 758 00:40:51,031 --> 00:40:55,058 What? You're a dick if you date a girl for too long and don't marry her. 759 00:40:55,636 --> 00:40:58,730 You marry her and you're an asshole for marrying before you're ready. 760 00:40:58,906 --> 00:41:02,342 I mean, shit, I don't know. 761 00:41:11,352 --> 00:41:12,717 [SIGHS] 762 00:41:15,656 --> 00:41:17,385 You're really hot. 763 00:41:18,259 --> 00:41:21,092 And I am obviously attracted to you. 764 00:41:23,364 --> 00:41:25,696 So I think the best I can do is... 765 00:41:26,667 --> 00:41:30,433 ...eventually find this piece of paper and call you... 766 00:41:31,105 --> 00:41:34,734 ...and hope to just help you out in your career in some small way. 767 00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:46,777 Hi. 768 00:41:46,954 --> 00:41:49,081 Hi. What's going on? 769 00:41:49,990 --> 00:41:51,821 [HAMMERING] 770 00:41:57,965 --> 00:41:59,660 Javier. 771 00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:04,996 Javier, I thought we talked about tarping the furniture. 772 00:42:43,477 --> 00:42:45,672 [PHONE RINGS] 773 00:42:47,248 --> 00:42:48,272 City Supper. 774 00:42:48,449 --> 00:42:50,314 Hi, this is Gigi. Is Alex there? 775 00:42:50,484 --> 00:42:51,951 Hold on. 776 00:42:52,119 --> 00:42:53,916 - Alex? - Yo. 777 00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:56,022 - Drinks are good? MAN: Yeah, one more. 778 00:42:56,190 --> 00:42:58,181 - Hello? - Hi, this is Gigi. 779 00:42:58,359 --> 00:43:00,190 - Gigi? - Gigi Phillips. 780 00:43:00,361 --> 00:43:02,989 - Huh? - I, um... 781 00:43:03,163 --> 00:43:04,653 ...had the dentist pen. 782 00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:06,993 Right. Hey. How you doing? 783 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,965 - I'm really sorry to bug you. - That's okay. 784 00:43:10,137 --> 00:43:13,334 You had some really good insights and I wanted to ask you a question. 785 00:43:13,507 --> 00:43:15,998 Okay, look, now I need to be harsh with you. 786 00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,701 Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege. 787 00:43:18,879 --> 00:43:21,905 No, I know. This is about Jarrad. 788 00:43:22,082 --> 00:43:23,174 Jarrad. 789 00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:26,251 So we meet at happy hour and he's completely charming... 790 00:43:26,420 --> 00:43:30,356 Hey, give me two seconds, okay? Two seconds, hold on. 791 00:43:40,634 --> 00:43:41,658 Let me guess. He said: 792 00:43:41,835 --> 00:43:44,269 "The only thing happy about this hour is you." 793 00:43:45,806 --> 00:43:48,297 He might have used some derivative of that. 794 00:43:48,475 --> 00:43:50,568 [CHUCKLES] 795 00:43:51,178 --> 00:43:55,137 So he says he's going to call, but then he gives me his card and he says... 796 00:43:55,316 --> 00:43:56,806 Oh, he's not interested. 797 00:43:56,984 --> 00:43:59,782 - You don't even know if he's called. - Oh, did he? 798 00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:01,411 No. 799 00:44:01,955 --> 00:44:04,947 - But I honestly think he's expect... - Okay. 800 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:09,425 Gigi, he is not interested. 801 00:44:09,596 --> 00:44:10,654 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 802 00:44:10,831 --> 00:44:12,025 Alex, this is jacked. 803 00:44:12,199 --> 00:44:14,963 The hostess is giving me shit for not wearing a black shirt. 804 00:44:15,135 --> 00:44:16,534 - It's not black. - Look at it. 805 00:44:16,704 --> 00:44:19,673 Not a black shirt. I see it. It's not black. 806 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,501 This shit is black. 807 00:44:24,778 --> 00:44:28,612 If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he's not interested. 808 00:44:28,782 --> 00:44:30,374 He took mine first. Then he gave... 809 00:44:30,551 --> 00:44:34,009 And also, if a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you. 810 00:44:36,123 --> 00:44:39,991 I once called 55 Lauren Bells until I got the right one. 811 00:44:40,661 --> 00:44:41,855 That's cute. 812 00:44:42,029 --> 00:44:43,087 What happened? 813 00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:46,721 Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in the daylight. 814 00:44:46,900 --> 00:44:48,390 [GIGI LAUGHS] 815 00:44:48,569 --> 00:44:51,504 Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women? 816 00:44:51,839 --> 00:44:54,171 Don't call him. He doesn't like you. 817 00:44:54,641 --> 00:44:56,336 Don't tiptoe around my feelings. 818 00:44:56,510 --> 00:44:59,138 - Well, I'm just trying to help. - I know. Thank you. 819 00:44:59,313 --> 00:45:00,746 Sure. 820 00:45:00,914 --> 00:45:03,678 I gotta get back to work, but good luck. 821 00:45:03,851 --> 00:45:05,648 Okay, bye. 822 00:45:10,057 --> 00:45:11,285 Hey, buddy, you home? 823 00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:13,688 CONOR: Yeah. Come on in. 824 00:45:17,030 --> 00:45:18,793 Hey, you want a beer? 825 00:45:20,434 --> 00:45:22,595 Or an apple martini? 826 00:45:22,770 --> 00:45:24,101 Oh, that's funny. 827 00:45:24,438 --> 00:45:25,769 [ALEX LAUGHS] 828 00:45:26,039 --> 00:45:27,802 Have you told your parents? 829 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,500 It's for work. I'm trying to expand my client base. 830 00:45:30,677 --> 00:45:32,474 By pretending to be gay? 831 00:45:32,646 --> 00:45:35,342 No, by being more gay-friendly. 832 00:45:35,516 --> 00:45:37,575 Or, in real estate terms, "gay-adjacent." 833 00:45:37,751 --> 00:45:39,343 Nice. I'm gonna use that. 834 00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,954 I should change this. It's maybe a little much. 835 00:45:42,122 --> 00:45:45,683 I don't know. Dressing like that, seeing a girl who won't sleep with you... 836 00:45:45,859 --> 00:45:47,326 ...I think you can pull it off. 837 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,689 It's not that she won't sleep with me, douche bag. 838 00:45:49,863 --> 00:45:52,331 I have slept with her. It's just she, you know... 839 00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:55,358 Won't sleep with you anymore. 840 00:45:55,869 --> 00:45:57,769 Pretty much, yeah. 841 00:45:58,338 --> 00:45:59,896 What do you think? 842 00:46:00,073 --> 00:46:01,438 I think you got a problem... 843 00:46:01,608 --> 00:46:05,669 ...because you're gonna have to beat them away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man. 844 00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:07,108 Holy shit. 845 00:46:07,614 --> 00:46:09,809 Observe your breath. 846 00:46:10,551 --> 00:46:13,384 Inhale, belly rise. 847 00:46:15,088 --> 00:46:18,683 And exhale, belly fall. 848 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,689 Bring your hands together in front of your chest. 849 00:46:23,464 --> 00:46:26,024 Bow your head in gratitude. 850 00:46:30,304 --> 00:46:33,102 - Namaste. - Namaste. 851 00:46:33,273 --> 00:46:35,366 Thank you for coming. See you next week. 852 00:46:35,609 --> 00:46:37,372 [BEN CLAPPING] 853 00:46:39,313 --> 00:46:40,803 Great class. 854 00:46:52,793 --> 00:46:54,727 We ran into each other. 855 00:46:55,762 --> 00:46:57,059 You came to my class. 856 00:46:57,965 --> 00:46:59,557 I had no idea this was your class. 857 00:47:01,101 --> 00:47:03,569 You called to ask me if this was my class. 858 00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:05,102 No, you never called back. 859 00:47:05,272 --> 00:47:08,207 Because you told me not to call you if it was my class. It was. 860 00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:10,673 - No. We just ran into each other. - Okay. 861 00:47:10,844 --> 00:47:15,474 We're just two innocent folks who happen to be working out near each other. 862 00:47:15,649 --> 00:47:17,617 BEN: Exactly. 863 00:47:19,686 --> 00:47:20,948 Do you want a swim? 864 00:47:22,122 --> 00:47:23,146 Sure. 865 00:47:29,663 --> 00:47:31,597 You know, I was just thinking... 866 00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:34,631 ...why can't we be friends? 867 00:47:35,402 --> 00:47:38,428 I mean, am I not allowed to have friends anymore? 868 00:47:38,872 --> 00:47:42,706 I mean, am I not allowed to be friends with people that are hot? 869 00:47:42,876 --> 00:47:45,572 I mean, what kind of reverse prejudice is that? 870 00:47:45,746 --> 00:47:46,940 I hear you. 871 00:47:47,114 --> 00:47:48,604 I mean... 872 00:47:48,782 --> 00:47:52,183 ...am I not supposed to be friends with a guy just because he's married? 873 00:47:52,352 --> 00:47:53,376 Right. 874 00:47:53,554 --> 00:47:55,454 Or has an insane smile? 875 00:47:55,622 --> 00:47:57,988 Or an ass that makes me wanna dry hump? 876 00:47:59,259 --> 00:48:01,386 [BEN CHUCKLES] 877 00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:06,630 - Did you just say "dry hump"? - Yeah. 878 00:48:10,270 --> 00:48:11,635 BEN: Think I just fell in love. 879 00:48:18,245 --> 00:48:20,008 So we're friends. 880 00:48:20,881 --> 00:48:22,143 Yeah. 881 00:48:57,484 --> 00:48:58,849 You wanna come in? 882 00:49:02,723 --> 00:49:04,418 I'm sorry, I don't trust myself. 883 00:49:05,058 --> 00:49:07,856 That's okay. You can just watch. 884 00:49:10,430 --> 00:49:13,399 You know, you may be the best friend I've ever had. 885 00:49:13,667 --> 00:49:14,929 [LAUGHS] 886 00:49:24,778 --> 00:49:27,178 - Hi. - Hey. 887 00:49:33,020 --> 00:49:35,887 BEN: Take a shower. Hey. - What? Hi. 888 00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,047 - Honey? - Yeah. 889 00:49:39,860 --> 00:49:41,725 You smell weird. 890 00:49:41,895 --> 00:49:43,988 - I smell weird? - Yeah, different. 891 00:49:44,164 --> 00:49:47,395 - Different how? - I don't know. 892 00:49:47,768 --> 00:49:48,996 [BEN LAUGHS] 893 00:49:49,169 --> 00:49:50,659 Sort of an odd thing to say. 894 00:49:50,837 --> 00:49:54,136 You know, maybe it was the ashtray and cigarettes I found. 895 00:49:54,307 --> 00:49:56,241 In the back yard. 896 00:49:56,943 --> 00:50:00,401 What part of "My dad died of lung cancer"... 897 00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:03,572 ...is so hard for you to wrap your brain around? 898 00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:04,774 What? 899 00:50:04,951 --> 00:50:08,443 Do not lie to me, Ben. Please, okay? 900 00:50:12,793 --> 00:50:14,761 Are you serious? 901 00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:23,468 We have, like, 8000 undocumented workers here daily. 902 00:50:23,637 --> 00:50:28,301 Okay, and you find an ashtray with cigarettes in it and you think... 903 00:50:28,475 --> 00:50:31,535 You automatically assume that they're mine. 904 00:50:31,712 --> 00:50:33,270 Oh, yeah. 905 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,540 Honey, I'm not lying to you. 906 00:50:40,587 --> 00:50:42,282 I think... 907 00:50:43,056 --> 00:50:45,286 ...you are really freaking out. 908 00:50:45,659 --> 00:50:49,459 This whole renovation thing's getting to you because nothing's happening. 909 00:50:55,235 --> 00:50:57,100 Just say no. 910 00:50:57,270 --> 00:50:58,498 Get it out. 911 00:50:58,672 --> 00:50:59,832 Gonna take a shower. 912 00:51:00,407 --> 00:51:02,739 - I'm exhausted. - Okay. 913 00:51:06,246 --> 00:51:09,545 - Sorry. - It's all right. 914 00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:21,590 Who'd have thought that a random girl from yoga... 915 00:51:21,762 --> 00:51:25,664 ...would fix me up with such a good kisser? - Back at you, sister. 916 00:51:29,236 --> 00:51:30,863 I can't wait to kiss you again. 917 00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:33,097 But we're kissing right now. 918 00:51:33,273 --> 00:51:34,433 I know, next time. 919 00:51:34,608 --> 00:51:37,304 The second-date kiss is way more intimate. 920 00:51:39,246 --> 00:51:40,474 Well, listen... 921 00:51:40,647 --> 00:51:44,139 ...l'm leaving tomorrow, so I'll be out of touch for a little bit. 922 00:51:46,653 --> 00:51:49,520 Can you excuse me a quick second? Too many Diet Cokes. 923 00:51:49,990 --> 00:51:51,150 Okay. 924 00:52:03,937 --> 00:52:06,132 [PHONE RINGING] 925 00:52:09,476 --> 00:52:10,534 Oh, yeah. 926 00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:11,768 Yeah? 927 00:52:11,945 --> 00:52:14,709 Hey, sorry to bug you again. Quick question. 928 00:52:14,881 --> 00:52:17,179 Excuse me one minute, babe. Sorry. 929 00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:19,284 What's going on? 930 00:52:19,452 --> 00:52:22,478 Okay, I'm making out with this guy... PG stuff. 931 00:52:22,656 --> 00:52:26,092 And he mentions that he's going out of town, he's gonna be out of touch. 932 00:52:26,259 --> 00:52:27,385 Run. 933 00:52:28,161 --> 00:52:30,152 But maybe he is going out of town. 934 00:52:30,330 --> 00:52:32,924 Where? Where's he going that he's gonna be out of touch? 935 00:52:35,602 --> 00:52:37,467 Where are you going out of town to again? 936 00:52:37,637 --> 00:52:39,901 Um... Uh... Pittsburgh. 937 00:52:41,441 --> 00:52:42,601 Pittsburgh. 938 00:52:42,776 --> 00:52:43,902 Run. 939 00:52:44,077 --> 00:52:47,513 So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me? 940 00:52:48,114 --> 00:52:49,775 Yeah. 941 00:52:50,650 --> 00:52:53,278 There's not gonna be anybody left. 942 00:52:54,354 --> 00:52:56,584 I don't know why I'm saying this... 943 00:52:56,756 --> 00:52:59,589 ...but I think I know a nice guy who might actually like you. 944 00:52:59,759 --> 00:53:01,454 - Yeah? - Yeah. 945 00:53:01,628 --> 00:53:03,721 He's friends with my brother. His name's Bill. 946 00:53:03,897 --> 00:53:06,422 We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good. 947 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:10,627 So, I mean, I'm in his bathroom right now. 948 00:53:10,804 --> 00:53:11,828 What do I do? 949 00:53:12,005 --> 00:53:16,135 Well, you gotta come out eventually, right? But I'd take my time in there. 950 00:53:16,576 --> 00:53:18,373 I'd let him sweat. 951 00:53:18,545 --> 00:53:20,809 - Thanks. - Good luck. 952 00:53:33,526 --> 00:53:34,959 [SIGHS] 953 00:53:50,877 --> 00:53:52,640 BEN: Yeah, the boat looks great. 954 00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:54,336 You look like shit. 955 00:53:54,514 --> 00:53:56,414 But your boat looks great. 956 00:53:56,583 --> 00:54:00,383 Yeah. I live on my boat, man. 957 00:54:00,553 --> 00:54:02,680 Personal hygiene goes out the window. 958 00:54:02,856 --> 00:54:05,120 A lot of time to work on the place. 959 00:54:05,292 --> 00:54:07,123 BEN: You should try working on a shower. 960 00:54:07,294 --> 00:54:08,886 NEIL: Yeah. 961 00:54:09,229 --> 00:54:12,255 Hey, what can I tell you? 962 00:54:12,432 --> 00:54:16,368 Standing on principle, man. It's all I got. 963 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,997 Cigarette? 964 00:54:22,175 --> 00:54:23,369 No, I'm good. 965 00:54:23,543 --> 00:54:25,875 That's right, you quit. 966 00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,503 Good for you. 967 00:54:34,621 --> 00:54:38,751 BEN: So did Janine send you out here to check up on me? 968 00:54:39,392 --> 00:54:41,189 Yeah, pretty much. 969 00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:43,226 What are you gonna tell her? 970 00:54:44,030 --> 00:54:47,227 I'll tell her how gorgeous you look out here on the ocean. 971 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:48,389 [LAUGHS] 972 00:54:48,568 --> 00:54:50,559 Break. 973 00:54:50,737 --> 00:54:52,534 Any word from Beth? 974 00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,476 She's so busy organizing her sister's funeral, I think she must be... 975 00:54:57,644 --> 00:54:58,736 Sister's what? 976 00:54:58,912 --> 00:55:00,903 Her wedding. Her sister's wedding. 977 00:55:01,081 --> 00:55:03,709 - Isn't that what I said? - No. You said "funeral." 978 00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,441 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 979 00:55:05,618 --> 00:55:07,245 Shit, did I really? 980 00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:09,615 That's so weird. 981 00:55:10,056 --> 00:55:12,286 I don't understand why people wanna get married. 982 00:55:13,026 --> 00:55:14,186 [SIGHS] 983 00:55:14,361 --> 00:55:15,419 They don't. 984 00:55:15,595 --> 00:55:17,119 - They don't? - No. 985 00:55:17,664 --> 00:55:20,656 No, no guy actually wants to get married. 986 00:55:20,834 --> 00:55:24,031 And if they do, all they're really thinking about? 987 00:55:24,204 --> 00:55:26,399 All the women they're gonna miss out on. 988 00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:28,768 I don't wanna be with anybody else, just Beth. 989 00:55:30,643 --> 00:55:32,508 I don't know, man, I... 990 00:55:32,679 --> 00:55:34,340 Why'd you get married? 991 00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:38,483 I love Janine. 992 00:55:38,651 --> 00:55:40,278 You're a happily married guy. 993 00:55:41,054 --> 00:55:42,749 Yeah. 994 00:55:42,922 --> 00:55:44,947 Yeah, I'd say so. 995 00:55:51,464 --> 00:55:53,625 Now, I know I don't need to tell any of you... 996 00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:57,463 ...that my cousin Paige is hot. 997 00:55:57,637 --> 00:55:59,161 [ALL LAUGHING] 998 00:55:59,339 --> 00:56:02,570 In high school, if I told the popular guys that Paige was my cousin... 999 00:56:02,742 --> 00:56:04,801 ...it'd keep me from getting my ass kicked... 1000 00:56:04,978 --> 00:56:07,708 ...because no one wanted to blow their chances with her. 1001 00:56:07,881 --> 00:56:09,109 [ALL LAUGHING] 1002 00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:13,946 And when she gets up there and says those marriage vows to Devon... 1003 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,816 ...there will be hearts breaking all over the world. 1004 00:56:16,990 --> 00:56:18,855 MAN: Hear, hear. WOMAN: That's sweet. 1005 00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:25,663 But, you know, keep in mind that her sister Beth is still on the market. 1006 00:56:26,833 --> 00:56:29,563 Yeah, sure, she may be an older model... 1007 00:56:29,736 --> 00:56:32,466 ...but she got a lot of good miles left in that tank. 1008 00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:34,368 But don't stay on the lot too long... 1009 00:56:34,541 --> 00:56:37,476 ...or next year's models are gonna slip in there and steal all... 1010 00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:39,635 Okay, that's enough of the speeches. 1011 00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:40,837 Okay. 1012 00:56:41,014 --> 00:56:42,914 KEN: So enjoy the crab. 1013 00:56:43,083 --> 00:56:48,817 And that yellow stuff is not hot mustard, it's the crab's hepatopancreas. 1014 00:56:52,459 --> 00:56:53,721 Bethie. 1015 00:56:55,128 --> 00:56:57,961 Your cousin Jay has always been a jackass. 1016 00:56:58,131 --> 00:56:59,155 I know. 1017 00:56:59,632 --> 00:57:01,896 And somehow even he's married. 1018 00:57:02,068 --> 00:57:03,262 [KEN CHUCKLES] 1019 00:57:03,436 --> 00:57:05,734 Oh, honey, look. 1020 00:57:05,905 --> 00:57:09,363 Back when everyone was just going to camp at the Y... 1021 00:57:09,542 --> 00:57:11,533 ...you borrowed my New York Times... 1022 00:57:11,711 --> 00:57:14,077 ...found some arts camp in the Berkshires... 1023 00:57:14,247 --> 00:57:17,410 ...wrote away for information and got accepted on your own. 1024 00:57:17,584 --> 00:57:20,246 You never did things like everyone else. 1025 00:57:20,420 --> 00:57:21,717 Why not? 1026 00:57:21,888 --> 00:57:23,412 Because that's you. 1027 00:57:23,957 --> 00:57:26,790 That's why you're my favorite daughter. 1028 00:57:27,393 --> 00:57:29,861 You're not supposed to say that. 1029 00:57:30,029 --> 00:57:31,860 I don't give a shit. 1030 00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:34,556 I'm retired, I'll say what I want to. 1031 00:57:34,734 --> 00:57:36,725 I'll say it to the whole room if you want. 1032 00:57:36,903 --> 00:57:39,667 Wait, wait, wait! Come here. Stop. 1033 00:57:39,839 --> 00:57:41,704 KEN: It's true, though. 1034 00:57:59,025 --> 00:58:00,049 Hey. 1035 00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:04,159 - What are you doing? - Waiting for you. 1036 00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,732 Come on. 1037 00:58:14,073 --> 00:58:15,131 Sorry I'm late. 1038 00:58:15,308 --> 00:58:16,639 No, it's okay. 1039 00:58:16,809 --> 00:58:18,743 I like a little time before a blind date. 1040 00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:22,609 Prepare myself mentally, remind myself not to tell the story about my molars... 1041 00:58:22,782 --> 00:58:24,010 Gigi, he's not coming. 1042 00:58:24,184 --> 00:58:27,381 But you can tell me the story about the molars. I'd love to hear it. 1043 00:58:27,554 --> 00:58:29,317 Hey. 1044 00:58:29,489 --> 00:58:31,184 How could he already not like me? 1045 00:58:31,357 --> 00:58:34,588 I screwed up. I told Bill it was Thursday, not Tuesday. It's my fault. 1046 00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,160 Hi. Are you good? 1047 00:58:36,329 --> 00:58:38,422 - Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? - Sure. 1048 00:58:41,201 --> 00:58:44,637 GIGI: Awesome. I'm stuck with a guy who can't distinguish Tuesday from Thursday. 1049 00:58:44,804 --> 00:58:48,900 Meanwhile, this girl, she's probably meeting her soul mate as we speak. 1050 00:58:49,075 --> 00:58:50,542 - This one right here? - Mm-hm. 1051 00:58:50,710 --> 00:58:52,177 Oh, God, no. 1052 00:58:52,879 --> 00:58:54,574 How do you know? 1053 00:58:55,348 --> 00:58:57,282 The guy working the Tom Cruise thing? 1054 00:58:57,450 --> 00:58:59,782 She's interested, he's clearly not. 1055 00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:02,945 You cannot tell from a cursory glance that he's not into her. 1056 00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:05,784 Actually, I can. I see this stuff going on every night. 1057 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:08,519 Watch this. She's going on about her macrobiotic diet. 1058 00:59:08,695 --> 00:59:10,959 He's thinking, "Dear Christ, get me out of here." 1059 00:59:11,130 --> 00:59:12,529 And look, how fortuitous. 1060 00:59:12,699 --> 00:59:15,361 Drinks spill, which is perfect for him, because now... 1061 00:59:15,535 --> 00:59:17,799 He can move on to the girl with the shoulder tattoo. 1062 00:59:19,105 --> 00:59:20,902 Man, you have a gift. 1063 00:59:21,074 --> 00:59:23,167 Now check out Droopy Dog on the other side. 1064 00:59:23,343 --> 00:59:27,370 He's gonna buy her drinks all night and she's still gonna insist there's no spark. 1065 00:59:27,547 --> 00:59:29,674 Maybe there's not. You need a spark. 1066 00:59:29,849 --> 00:59:32,682 Oh, the spark thing is bullshit. 1067 00:59:32,852 --> 00:59:34,444 - Really? - Bullshit. 1068 00:59:34,621 --> 00:59:35,952 Enlighten me. 1069 00:59:36,122 --> 00:59:37,783 Guys invented the spark... 1070 00:59:37,957 --> 00:59:41,791 ...so they could not call and treat you kind of badly and keep you guessing... 1071 00:59:41,961 --> 00:59:45,692 ...then convince you that that anxiety and fear that just develops naturally... 1072 00:59:45,865 --> 00:59:47,457 ...was actually just a spark. 1073 00:59:47,634 --> 00:59:50,831 And you guys all buy it. You eat it up and you love it. 1074 00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:54,201 You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama. 1075 00:59:54,374 --> 00:59:55,398 I don't. 1076 00:59:55,575 --> 00:59:58,908 So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or a phone bill... 1077 00:59:59,078 --> 01:00:00,978 ...because secretly you love the drama... 1078 01:00:01,147 --> 01:00:03,615 ...of not knowing whether or not you're gonna make it? 1079 01:00:04,550 --> 01:00:05,915 Maybe. 1080 01:00:06,085 --> 01:00:07,677 And let me guess: 1081 01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:10,084 When you were stalking Conor the other night... 1082 01:00:10,256 --> 01:00:12,417 ...were you obsessing about him calling... 1083 01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:15,823 ...constantly pacing back and forth, staring at your phone for days... 1084 01:00:15,995 --> 01:00:18,486 ...even though the date was just kind of mediocre? 1085 01:00:18,665 --> 01:00:20,360 [GIGI LAUGHS] 1086 01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:22,501 Okay. Yeah. 1087 01:00:22,669 --> 01:00:25,331 Because you all thrive on the drama. Thank you. 1088 01:00:25,505 --> 01:00:28,338 Look, you gotta be more like me. If a girl likes me, great. 1089 01:00:28,508 --> 01:00:31,705 But if not, there are plenty more out there like her, you know? 1090 01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:33,903 With smaller pores and bigger implants. 1091 01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:36,905 - That's beautiful. - I know. 1092 01:00:37,083 --> 01:00:40,712 Why are you sharing all of this inside dating information with me again? 1093 01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,718 I don't know, I like you. 1094 01:00:44,023 --> 01:00:45,047 You do? 1095 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,721 Well, yeah. Okay, don't start doodling my name on your binder, okay? 1096 01:00:50,897 --> 01:00:54,924 I just mean... I mean, I like you the way I like basset hounds. 1097 01:00:55,101 --> 01:00:57,899 Something pathetic about them. You just wanna cheer them up. 1098 01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,096 Again with the sensitivity. 1099 01:01:00,707 --> 01:01:02,299 To sensitivity.