1 00:00:10,461 --> 00:00:13,660 Oh, darlin' 2 00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:18,237 I love you in the mornin' 3 00:00:18,238 --> 00:00:20,636 I love you in the afternoon 4 00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:22,716 Chuck, you know I love you. 5 00:00:22,717 --> 00:00:25,204 Of course, Betty I love you too. 6 00:00:25,629 --> 00:00:28,060 And I know I've made you wait a long time. 7 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:31,606 Yeah A long time. 8 00:00:31,837 --> 00:00:34,652 Well, tonight, that all ends. 9 00:00:34,653 --> 00:00:36,507 What do you mean? 10 00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:38,652 Chuck... 11 00:00:38,653 --> 00:00:41,271 tonight is the night I'm going to give myself to you. 12 00:00:41,821 --> 00:00:44,275 I'm ready to take things to the next level. 13 00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:47,505 Are you sure? We're gonna do it? 14 00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:50,904 All right. 15 00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:53,272 Whoa, darlin' 16 00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:00,155 Whatever I have to do 17 00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:03,416 Oh, pretty baby 18 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:09,111 How I'm in love with you 19 00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:27,419 That was awesome. 20 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,306 Yeah. 21 00:01:29,564 --> 00:01:32,091 But... 22 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,747 now that my virginity is behind us, 23 00:01:34,748 --> 00:01:37,682 I think I'm ready to take things to the next level. 24 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,346 What do you mean? I thought we just did. 25 00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:43,195 Come on, Chuck, don't be coy. 26 00:01:43,196 --> 00:01:45,146 You know what I mean. 27 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,903 Anal 28 00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:48,850 Seriously? 29 00:01:49,499 --> 00:01:53,050 Yeah I love you, Chuck, and I know you love me 30 00:01:53,051 --> 00:01:55,603 And that's why I want you to stick it in my ass 31 00:01:56,475 --> 00:01:58,171 Giddy up, horsey 32 00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:00,822 Come on, let go 33 00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,370 Yeah 34 00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:07,866 Who's riding your pony? 35 00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:10,298 Horny pony 36 00:02:10,299 --> 00:02:12,218 Oh, yeah 37 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:18,067 They've seldom seen of your contemptuous greed 38 00:02:19,611 --> 00:02:21,338 Wow 39 00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:23,706 I know. 40 00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:26,362 That fucking ruled! 41 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,385 But 42 00:02:27,386 --> 00:02:29,207 But what? 43 00:02:29,371 --> 00:02:31,225 Well 44 00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:34,457 it's just now that the ass sex is in the bag 45 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,655 I think we're ready to take things to the next level 46 00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:40,278 What other level is there? 47 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,345 Get an extension cord 48 00:02:46,171 --> 00:02:48,186 Next level! 49 00:02:48,187 --> 00:02:49,681 Who are they!? 50 00:02:50,363 --> 00:02:52,020 Next level! 51 00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:55,251 Ohh! 52 00:02:57,082 --> 00:02:59,504 Next level! 53 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,031 Next level! 54 00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:06,710 No more levels! 55 00:03:09,594 --> 00:03:11,862 I'll be right back 56 00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:22,322 Maybe I rushed things 57 00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:44,824 Sex me up and I'll sex you down 58 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:48,088 Whatever you want is my command 59 00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:51,832 I'm into S and M, I lead the butcher farm 60 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,608 And now don't you understand, I'm into any ma'am 61 00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:59,192 Sex me up and I'll sex you down 62 00:03:59,193 --> 00:04:02,616 I get on the floor, I'll turn around 63 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:06,040 Get on my hands and knees, on your command I'll freeze 64 00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:09,751 I hope this never cease, come get me, won't you please 65 00:04:09,752 --> 00:04:13,272 But she won't hold me and she won't squeeze me 66 00:04:13,273 --> 00:04:16,760 From what she told me, she'd never please me 67 00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:20,471 But she won't hold me and she won't squeeze me 68 00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:24,497 From what she told me, she'd only tease me 69 00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,248 She said 70 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:45,751 I said 71 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:49,111 Sex me up and I'll sex you down 72 00:04:49,112 --> 00:04:52,855 Sex me up and I'll sex you down 73 00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:56,085 Sex me up and I'll sex you down 74 00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:04,055 Remember, students, it's Sexual Awareness Month. 75 00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:06,806 Gentlemen, pick up your free condoms in the gym, 76 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,878 - and ladies, lubricant is available... - I got laid last night 77 00:05:09,879 --> 00:05:11,894 - Same chick as the night before? - Are you crazy? 78 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,359 I can't have the same chick comin' around two nights in a row 79 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,110 That's bordering on a relationship I like to play the field 80 00:05:17,111 --> 00:05:19,958 See, this is exactly what I don't understand How does he do it? 81 00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,943 He just goes out and gets it done, man, 82 00:05:21,944 --> 00:05:23,030 that's how he does it 83 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,366 You can't sit around and wait for Santa to bring you some ass 84 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,678 under the tree 85 00:05:26,679 --> 00:05:28,502 Dude, how psyched are you for first period? 86 00:05:28,503 --> 00:05:32,470 - Mr. Matthews' sex-ed class - Man, that dude's a total freak 87 00:05:32,471 --> 00:05:35,510 I can’t wait to go in there and talk about all the ass we've slammed 88 00:05:35,511 --> 00:05:37,142 It's gonna be awesome, bro 89 00:05:37,143 --> 00:05:39,117 No doubt, bro 90 00:05:42,039 --> 00:05:43,926 I can't take this class 91 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,355 Why not? 92 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,629 Why not? Did you not just hear that conversation? 93 00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:52,406 " -How much ass we've slammed?" - Yeah, bro 94 00:05:52,407 --> 00:05:55,670 Exactly The class is just gonna be with a bunch of pervs 95 00:05:55,670 --> 00:05:58,358 who are open about their sex lives, and frankly, I don't have one 96 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:01,781 That's sad You're not bad-lookin' And your legs work 97 00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:03,733 I'm not gonna have sex with just anybody, 98 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,846 I know that’s what you are thinking right now 99 00:06:05,847 --> 00:06:07,541 Sorry, not gonna happen 100 00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:10,069 Doesn't have to be just anybody Look. Look, look 101 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,233 How about you start off with a nice little virgin like Betty? 102 00:06:14,135 --> 00:06:15,573 Hey, Betty 103 00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:17,781 Okay, everyone, bring it on in, 104 00:06:17,782 --> 00:06:20,661 we got a lot to do, and little time to cover it 105 00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:23,957 I can feel the sexuality brewin' in here already 106 00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,645 - Oh, no Stacy's in this class? - What do you mean, "Oh, no?" 107 00:06:26,646 --> 00:06:28,533 You've been trying to tap that since fifth grade 108 00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,157 This is an opportunity You're in a class with her 109 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,565 Go talk to her! 110 00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,613 - What would I say? - Listen, all a girl wants 111 00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,173 is for you to be yourself So do that... be yourself 112 00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:40,850 Or just shake your dick at her You know, whatever feels right 113 00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:44,533 - Hello - Hello 114 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,093 Hey, Stacy 115 00:06:46,966 --> 00:06:49,485 Looks like we're gonna be having sex together 116 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,157 What!? 117 00:06:51,158 --> 00:06:54,997 Ed S... class Sex-ed class together 118 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,716 I'm sorry, I just... y'know Whoo! 119 00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,220 Bye 120 00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:01,332 Yeah... talk to ya later 121 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,349 My name is Mr. Matthews 122 00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:06,325 First off, there's no teachers in here... 123 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,492 just a bunch of people exploring their sexuality 124 00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:12,148 Right? So once you enter through that door, 125 00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:14,228 you're comin' through a No Bullshit zone 126 00:07:14,229 --> 00:07:16,692 That's right... I said "bullshit" 127 00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,540 Huh? We're keepin' it real in here, people 128 00:07:19,541 --> 00:07:22,451 Fart, fuck, shit, cock, ass, cunty cunt! 129 00:07:22,452 --> 00:07:23,892 All rightie 130 00:07:23,893 --> 00:07:28,084 Now, listen up Teen sexuality is a living, breathing thing, 131 00:07:28,085 --> 00:07:30,899 and we're gonna explore that concept from every different angle 132 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,788 we can get our greasy little hands on 133 00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,220 And you're gonna share I'm gonna share right now 134 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,267 Hell, I've had sex with koi fish 135 00:07:37,268 --> 00:07:38,931 There, I've said it 136 00:07:38,932 --> 00:07:41,651 Sometimes you find me naked down at the bottom of a fun-ball pool 137 00:07:41,652 --> 00:07:43,508 at your local fast food restaurant 138 00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:44,947 True story 139 00:07:44,948 --> 00:07:48,755 Okay, let's do a little role-playing exercise in here 140 00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:50,707 I want each and every one of you 141 00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:53,139 to decide that you're gonna have sex with someone 142 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,507 for the very first time 143 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,779 Okay, partner up, people! 144 00:07:57,780 --> 00:08:00,083 Stacy needs a partner Seize the day, bro 145 00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:04,655 Hell, screw the day Seize the booty 146 00:08:36,564 --> 00:08:40,523 That's a good union there I like that I saw that when I came in 147 00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:44,370 - Mr. Matthews? - Yes 148 00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:46,705 I don't think there's any girls left 149 00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:50,802 Mike, human sexuality isn't always between man and woman 150 00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,242 Stand up, Doug 151 00:08:52,243 --> 00:08:55,026 Class, I'd like to introduce you to our first gay couple... 152 00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:57,298 Mike and Doug 153 00:08:57,299 --> 00:09:00,146 Now, just because they'll be experimenting with 154 00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:03,282 man-on-man lovemaking and assorted humbuggery, 155 00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:05,394 don't treat 'em any differently 156 00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:07,474 Mike, I think you're gonna be on bottom 157 00:09:07,475 --> 00:09:10,223 Okay 158 00:09:12,435 --> 00:09:14,802 I'll be the stay-at-home-dad 159 00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:16,330 What? 160 00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:24,273 Mark 161 00:09:24,274 --> 00:09:27,729 So, Matt, what advice do you have for young people about sex? 162 00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:30,257 Advice Uh 163 00:09:30,258 --> 00:09:33,106 guys, be responsible 164 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:36,209 You know, always wear a rubber 165 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:40,049 Of course, it feels way better to do it without one 166 00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:42,321 Unless, of course, it's a Vietnamese hooker, 167 00:09:42,322 --> 00:09:44,433 and then I think you just take your chances 168 00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,897 As long as there's a naked chick somewhere in the room, 169 00:09:46,898 --> 00:09:48,561 you are not gay 170 00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:51,441 If you have an STD, do not tell your partner 171 00:09:51,442 --> 00:09:53,681 It is a lose-lose situation 172 00:09:53,681 --> 00:09:55,952 Fellas, be nice to your partner 173 00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:58,193 In the morning, if she needs a ride home, 174 00:09:58,194 --> 00:10:02,033 point her to the nearest bus stop before you go back to sleep 175 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:03,593 Be a good guy 176 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,888 Today one out of three young adults 177 00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:10,129 has a sexually transmitted disease. 178 00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:13,904 And letting a former hook-up know that you've got genital cooties 179 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,727 can be pretty hard. 180 00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,361 Now there's an easier way! 181 00:10:21,362 --> 00:10:26,184 At STD-E-CARDS, you can share the bad news with one click. 182 00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:29,072 Pick from such messages as, 183 00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:32,240 "You gave me your heart, I gave you gonorrhea", 184 00:10:32,241 --> 00:10:36,299 or” Thanks for the blowjob... sorry about the herpes" . 185 00:10:37,745 --> 00:10:39,184 It's from Kevin! 186 00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:41,648 That hot guy that you hooked up with this weekend? 187 00:10:41,649 --> 00:10:43,152 - Yeah - What's it say? 188 00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:45,360 "Roses are red, violets are blue, 189 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:48,492 I gave you syphilis when we screwed at the zoo" 190 00:10:51,473 --> 00:10:52,943 That was easy 191 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:58,093 STD-E-CARDS, where bad news travels fast! 192 00:11:02,577 --> 00:11:05,808 Attention, students, prom is fast approaching. 193 00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:09,671 Get your free STD screening in the nurse's office. 194 00:11:14,161 --> 00:11:16,880 - Hi, Carla - Oh, hey 195 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,191 Hey, listen, um, 196 00:11:18,192 --> 00:11:20,207 I know it's kind of last minute, but, um, 197 00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:23,087 I wanted to know if you'd maybe want to go to the prom with me tonight 198 00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:26,767 Oh, I'm sorry, Justin, someone already asked me 199 00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:27,823 Three weeks ago 200 00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:31,086 Oh... oh, okay That’s that’s all right 201 00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:32,909 Well, have fun, though 202 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,846 Oh, check out your cock! 203 00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:04,261 Oh! Oh, honey! 204 00:12:12,911 --> 00:12:17,068 I've been using these since the Eisenhower Administration 205 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:19,918 Can I help you? 206 00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:21,038 Huh? 207 00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,860 Uh... uh, no 208 00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,001 Oh, honey... 209 00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:42,500 She's a real beaut, isn't she? 210 00:13:17,453 --> 00:13:19,842 This just isn't right 211 00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:39,719 I wish we'd met years ago 212 00:13:41,293 --> 00:13:44,013 My whole high school experience would have been different 213 00:13:44,014 --> 00:13:51,404 Every day, the one thing I can count on 214 00:13:51,405 --> 00:13:53,644 So much love 215 00:13:53,645 --> 00:13:58,732 It's like a river with no end 216 00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,843 So much love 217 00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:05,740 The minute it seems to stop, it starts again 218 00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:07,948 So much love 219 00:14:07,949 --> 00:14:12,971 You've given me so much love 220 00:14:12,972 --> 00:14:17,925 Don't you know you've made my dream come true 221 00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:23,339 I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, too! 222 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,891 They brought me you, you brought me love 223 00:14:26,892 --> 00:14:30,475 Dreams come true every day with you 224 00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:33,061 So much love 225 00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:38,251 Justin, I haven't seen you around much lately 226 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,043 I've been busy 227 00:14:40,044 --> 00:14:41,771 Well, prom wasn't the same without you 228 00:14:41,772 --> 00:14:44,011 - Really? - Yeah 229 00:14:44,012 --> 00:14:46,283 I was wondering if we could go out sometime 230 00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:47,947 - Me and you? - Dinner? 231 00:14:47,948 --> 00:14:50,369 Maybe Saturday night? 232 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:55,083 And just when I thought the night could not get any worse, 233 00:14:55,084 --> 00:14:58,059 he pukes all over my dress 234 00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,243 It was horrible 235 00:14:59,244 --> 00:15:01,771 I'm sure you still looked beautiful, though 236 00:15:01,772 --> 00:15:03,850 Thanks, but I didn't 237 00:15:03,851 --> 00:15:05,770 I had vomit all over me 238 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:09,317 You're so amazing You really are 239 00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:21,514 What? No, that's ridiculous 240 00:15:21,515 --> 00:15:23,626 I'm going to play poker with some of the guys 241 00:15:23,627 --> 00:15:26,441 Don’t worry I'll be back by 10:00 All right? 242 00:15:36,075 --> 00:15:37,962 Hello? 243 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,490 Anyone there? 244 00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:43,687 Look, don't be a pussy, just tell me who it is 245 00:15:44,299 --> 00:15:46,087 Stop calling me! 246 00:15:47,115 --> 00:15:49,416 Another prank call 247 00:15:52,907 --> 00:15:55,337 I know what you're up to, and it's gotta stop 248 00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:57,354 Leave Carla alone! 249 00:15:57,355 --> 00:15:59,593 It's over between me and you 250 00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:01,416 Get used to it! 251 00:16:06,602 --> 00:16:07,754 Where were you this morning? 252 00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:09,514 I thought you were gonna watch me practice 253 00:16:09,514 --> 00:16:12,233 Oh Sorry, I forgot 254 00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,249 Well, you comin' to my game on Friday night? 255 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,713 Actually, I'm going to Len's party with Stacy 256 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,625 You know what? There's someone else who actually cares about me 257 00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:21,699 Good-bye, Carla 258 00:16:23,786 --> 00:16:26,404 Justin, where are you going? 259 00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:37,537 What? 260 00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:44,610 No! 261 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,823 Why?! Why did you do this!? 262 00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:54,952 Someone call 911! 263 00:17:08,713 --> 00:17:13,349 So what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done in bed? 264 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:19,496 The two of us licked whipped cream off of each other once 265 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:22,760 - That was fun Yeah - That was pretty kinky 266 00:17:22,761 --> 00:17:24,520 What about you? 267 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,632 I don't know 268 00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:29,128 - Uh - Come on, don't act all shy 269 00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:31,624 - What if my parents are watching? - Come on 270 00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:36,360 Does it have to be the kinkiest thing that we’ve done together? 271 00:17:36,361 --> 00:17:38,088 No, it could have been on your own 272 00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:39,752 Well 273 00:17:39,753 --> 00:17:41,736 this one time I had sex with this black guy 274 00:17:41,737 --> 00:17:43,592 while his best friend did me in the ass, 275 00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:46,120 and then I sucked both their dicks at the same time 276 00:17:46,121 --> 00:17:49,127 That was kinda kinky 277 00:17:49,128 --> 00:17:51,550 - What? Baby? That's great 278 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,831 MR MATTHEWS Bring it on in! 279 00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:04,135 We got a lot to do and a little time to do it! 280 00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:05,927 Wanna make sure we can cram it all in 281 00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:09,191 That's what she said Ha ha ha! You guys know what I'm talkin' about 282 00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:11,207 You've gotta sit next to Stacy and be her partner 283 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,287 Yeah, man, don't be scared Go ahead 284 00:18:13,288 --> 00:18:15,623 All right, we're all gettin' in a circle 285 00:18:15,624 --> 00:18:17,255 This is great 286 00:18:17,256 --> 00:18:19,686 Okay 287 00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:22,439 let's talk about penises 288 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,038 That's right, everyone 289 00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:26,343 I said the big P-word 290 00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:30,119 Now, the most common question: What's normal? 291 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,678 Simple answer: There's no such thing 292 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,103 Penises come in a variety of different shapes and sizes 293 00:18:36,104 --> 00:18:38,534 Huh? All rightie! 294 00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:43,398 As you can tell from the molds cast from actual penises we have here 295 00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:46,055 Got 'em all different from all over the globe 296 00:18:46,056 --> 00:18:50,118 Now, the next we like to call the Fireplug 297 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,383 It's short and stocky, but boy, when you get it excited, 298 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:54,726 kablooey! 299 00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:58,214 Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya All right, what do we have next? 300 00:18:58,215 --> 00:19:01,158 This one's called the Tadpole Why is it called the Tadpole? 301 00:19:01,159 --> 00:19:04,774 Because it's got a larger head tapering down into a smaller shaft 302 00:19:04,775 --> 00:19:08,774 We like to call this guy the Mushroom Cloud, if you will 303 00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:11,238 Yeah I thought you'd like that one 304 00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:12,710 Now, this is an interesting one 305 00:19:12,711 --> 00:19:15,110 Looks small, but if you know how-to use it, 306 00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:16,966 I tell ya, it's quite a powerful weapon 307 00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:20,069 It's called the Torpedo You know what I mean? 308 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,158 Or the Meat Cone 309 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:24,005 'Cause it's got a tiny head tapering into a large shaft 310 00:19:24,006 --> 00:19:25,510 Nice 311 00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:27,270 Hand that guy around, that's a good one 312 00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,125 We like to call that one the Roto-Rooter 313 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,965 Next we have what's called the Super huge 314 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:34,565 - That's right - Oh, damn! 315 00:19:34,566 --> 00:19:37,157 We also like to call this the Great American Challenge 316 00:19:37,158 --> 00:19:41,249 Ladies, you're gonna love the cervix stimulation on that guy 317 00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:47,045 Okay, this next one's interesting, all right? I found this one online 318 00:19:47,526 --> 00:19:49,541 It's the Doubleheader, ladies and gentlemen 319 00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:52,613 It is out there, believe me Hand that around 320 00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,277 Okay, everyone, pass 'em around 321 00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,357 Look 'em up and down 322 00:19:56,358 --> 00:19:57,893 NOW freeze! 323 00:19:57,894 --> 00:20:01,989 Okay Gentlemen, the penises in your hands, 324 00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:04,357 that is your penis 325 00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:07,108 Ladies, put your penises down 326 00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:09,629 and partner up with the person closest to you 327 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,157 Looks like we got a small one, huh? 328 00:20:13,158 --> 00:20:14,586 Yeah 329 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,213 Okay, now I'm gonna hand out some condoms for each group 330 00:20:18,214 --> 00:20:20,004 Here ya go, everyone get a condom 331 00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:21,637 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 332 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,532 I'm gonna have you put the condom on the man's penis, together 333 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:30,116 Okay, the reason I'm having you put these condoms on together 334 00:20:30,117 --> 00:20:34,491 is because contraception is both partners' responsibility 335 00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:37,184 Have to say that Sorry 336 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,075 Mike, it looks like you got a little room there 337 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,273 That's because, Mike, you have a very small penis 338 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:51,172 Okay, everyone, let's talk about fetishes 339 00:20:51,172 --> 00:20:54,884 Now, a fetish is basically an obsession with leather... 340 00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:57,539 black leather... and bits, mouth bits 341 00:20:57,540 --> 00:21:00,409 Who likes a ball in their mouth? Anyone? 342 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,252 Oh, baby, you look so good 343 00:21:05,253 --> 00:21:07,268 - You wanna do it now, baby? - Hell, yeah, I do 344 00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:09,090 Okay 345 00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:14,883 No, wait You know what would be even hotter? 346 00:21:14,884 --> 00:21:16,541 What? 347 00:21:19,268 --> 00:21:20,696 This 348 00:21:20,932 --> 00:21:22,851 You want me to wear a hat? 349 00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:25,379 Oh, yeah, baby, that shit is so hot 350 00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:27,321 - Okay - Yeah. Yeah. 351 00:21:30,276 --> 00:21:34,301 Wait Uh, you know what else would be so smokin' hot? 352 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,962 What? 353 00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:39,299 This big mole 354 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,251 What?! Ew! 355 00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:42,850 It's hot Trust me 356 00:21:42,851 --> 00:21:44,066 For me? 357 00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:45,954 Fine 358 00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:49,882 - Now can we do it? - Yeah 359 00:22:05,443 --> 00:22:07,074 Ronny... what the hell!? 360 00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:08,611 - What? - I didn’t want to say this, 361 00:22:08,612 --> 00:22:10,946 but you clearly want to have sex with Abraham Lincoln! 362 00:22:10,947 --> 00:22:12,833 That's crazy! 363 00:22:13,668 --> 00:22:15,970 Is it? Look around you, Ronny 364 00:22:15,971 --> 00:22:18,850 - You're obsessed with him - He was a great man 365 00:22:18,851 --> 00:22:21,567 What's wrong with paying tribute? 366 00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:24,481 Paying tribute is one thing... 367 00:22:24,482 --> 00:22:28,225 trying to turn your girlfriend into him so you can get a hard-on is another 368 00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:31,837 I'm outta here Call me when you get some therapy 369 00:22:32,483 --> 00:22:34,424 Sue... 370 00:22:38,242 --> 00:22:40,001 That was my last beard 371 00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:42,081 TV Announcer: Can the transporter be fixed? 372 00:22:42,082 --> 00:22:44,482 Or is all hopeless for our heroines? 373 00:22:44,483 --> 00:22:46,498 Will Alice and Betty make it home? 374 00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:51,009 Find out next on Babes Lost in Time! 375 00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:53,148 Time 376 00:23:35,618 --> 00:23:38,486 Forward into the past! 377 00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:41,343 Here I come, Abe! 378 00:25:43,999 --> 00:25:46,014 Ladies, you do not... 379 00:25:46,015 --> 00:25:49,910 I repeat, you do not have to have sex with a guy for him to like you 380 00:25:50,751 --> 00:25:52,179 But it helps 381 00:25:52,702 --> 00:25:54,686 Want to remain a virgin until you're married? 382 00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:57,310 Two words: Butt sex 383 00:25:57,310 --> 00:26:00,733 Look, if you like to be choked, it's okay Everyone likes it... a little 384 00:26:00,734 --> 00:26:02,653 Just don't go too far 385 00:26:02,654 --> 00:26:05,555 Blue is a warning sign 386 00:26:10,302 --> 00:26:13,597 So, what's the kinkiest thing either one you has ever done in bed? 387 00:26:16,670 --> 00:26:18,173 - Well, um, check it: - Whoo! 388 00:26:18,174 --> 00:26:21,342 I'm at the club one night, and I meet this little white chick, right? 389 00:26:21,343 --> 00:26:23,165 So next you know I get in her ear, man, 390 00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:24,957 and she lets me take her back to my spot, 391 00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,805 and she did me and him at the same time 392 00:26:27,806 --> 00:26:29,885 - And then she blew us You're kidding 393 00:26:29,886 --> 00:26:32,221 Whoo, man! That girl was off the chain, man! 394 00:26:32,222 --> 00:26:35,069 Hey, you know, uh, shit, what can I say? 395 00:26:35,070 --> 00:26:37,661 That little woman had a big ol' twelve-pound pussy, man! 396 00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:39,901 - Where'd she get that? - There was a lot of acrobatics 397 00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:41,821 in that motherfucker, you know what I'm sayin?' 398 00:26:41,822 --> 00:26:44,061 She was small, but she did a lot of big things, baby 399 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:47,858 - Hey, Kim, holler at your boy! - Whoo! 400 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:53,180 The women spend most of their time stretching their breasts, 401 00:26:53,181 --> 00:26:55,356 - adding a new ring each year. - Yeah Ooh 402 00:26:55,357 --> 00:26:57,532 They probably like it when they stretch 'em 403 00:26:57,533 --> 00:26:58,940 Yeah 404 00:26:58,941 --> 00:27:00,566 I know they do 405 00:27:01,277 --> 00:27:02,813 Holy crap! 406 00:27:02,814 --> 00:27:06,140 It's Saturday night and you guys are getting stiffies watching PBS? 407 00:27:06,141 --> 00:27:08,988 - You're pathetic - Get out of my room, RJ! 408 00:27:08,989 --> 00:27:10,876 You never knock! 409 00:27:10,877 --> 00:27:12,732 Stupid 410 00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:13,916 He's right, you know 411 00:27:13,917 --> 00:27:16,732 - I mean, this is pathetic - What else are we gonna do? 412 00:27:16,733 --> 00:27:19,676 It's not like we can actually get laid Let's just watch this 413 00:27:19,677 --> 00:27:21,596 Unless we come up with a way 414 00:27:21,597 --> 00:27:24,280 to build an artificial woman from your computer 415 00:27:25,501 --> 00:27:28,184 And then program her to have sex with us 416 00:27:28,765 --> 00:27:30,076 You're a genius! 417 00:27:30,077 --> 00:27:31,964 This is stupid, Barry 418 00:27:31,965 --> 00:27:33,755 Shut up 419 00:27:33,756 --> 00:27:35,163 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 420 00:27:35,164 --> 00:27:37,212 Relax! We're gonna give her Halle Berry's face, 421 00:27:37,213 --> 00:27:39,003 - and Beyonce's ass - All right 422 00:27:39,004 --> 00:27:40,827 - Tyra's boobs - Bam! 423 00:27:40,828 --> 00:27:42,172 Tyra's probably got bigger nipples than that 424 00:27:42,173 --> 00:27:44,475 Now all that's left to do is make sure she's horny 425 00:27:44,476 --> 00:27:46,587 Like really, really horny, though 426 00:27:46,588 --> 00:27:48,155 See this pair of panties, right? 427 00:27:48,156 --> 00:27:49,627 Where'd you get those from? They're lacy 428 00:27:49,628 --> 00:27:51,291 All right Are you ready to lose your virginity? 429 00:27:51,292 --> 00:27:53,528 - I'm ready - Say good-bye 430 00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:02,043 Ow! I told you that was stupid, Barry 431 00:28:02,044 --> 00:28:04,279 Be quiet, Leon I'm thinking 432 00:28:09,084 --> 00:28:10,578 Oh, shit! 433 00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,491 So, who gonna fuck me first!? 434 00:28:14,492 --> 00:28:16,635 Him! Him! 435 00:28:16,636 --> 00:28:18,139 What the hell just happened!? 436 00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:21,563 The panties, they was my aunt's I knew it It was my aunt's panties 437 00:28:21,564 --> 00:28:24,795 What you waitin' for? My pussy ain't gonna eat itself out 438 00:28:24,796 --> 00:28:26,298 What? What you say? 439 00:28:26,299 --> 00:28:27,962 Who would say that? 440 00:28:27,963 --> 00:28:29,274 Where you goin?' Where you goin?' 441 00:28:29,275 --> 00:28:31,131 Leon! 442 00:28:31,132 --> 00:28:32,347 Leon! 443 00:28:32,348 --> 00:28:33,434 Well 444 00:28:33,435 --> 00:28:35,675 I guess that means you first 445 00:28:35,676 --> 00:28:37,051 No It don't... it don't have to mean that 446 00:28:37,052 --> 00:28:39,962 Come give mama a taste of that sweet chocolate 447 00:28:39,963 --> 00:28:41,754 What you talkin' about? Chocolate ain't sweet! 448 00:28:41,755 --> 00:28:45,583 I'm your human sex toy, and I don't come with no Off button! 449 00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:50,521 You don't even have to wear no jimmy hat! 450 00:28:55,131 --> 00:28:58,840 Save your energy! I plan on Cumming a lot tonight! 451 00:29:11,259 --> 00:29:14,968 Come out, come out, wherever you are! 452 00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:24,634 You're too big for me! 453 00:29:24,635 --> 00:29:28,282 Your ball sack is about to get drained! 454 00:29:28,283 --> 00:29:32,079 Let me go! Please, Jesus! 455 00:29:34,747 --> 00:29:36,503 You were good. 456 00:29:37,114 --> 00:29:40,049 I don’t want no more I don't... I don’t want no more 457 00:29:40,698 --> 00:29:42,519 No! I don’t want it! 458 00:29:42,842 --> 00:29:45,143 You broke my bed 459 00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:56,249 She's so big. Why is she so big? 460 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:59,929 I musta... I probably hit F1 instead of Enter I don't know 461 00:29:59,930 --> 00:30:02,392 Here I come! 462 00:30:02,393 --> 00:30:06,840 And this time your ass cherry is mine! 463 00:30:06,841 --> 00:30:09,176 No, it's not! No, it's not! 464 00:30:09,177 --> 00:30:12,973 It's my ass cherry! It's not yours! 465 00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:17,903 Barry? Leon? 466 00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:25,555 "Press Enter now?" 467 00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:33,209 Yeah 468 00:30:33,210 --> 00:30:35,320 You're lookin' good, baby 469 00:30:35,321 --> 00:30:36,848 Whoa! 470 00:30:37,465 --> 00:30:40,344 You're cute How old are you? 471 00:30:40,345 --> 00:30:42,424 Old enough 472 00:30:42,425 --> 00:30:45,173 Ooh-whoo! Yeah, yeah 473 00:30:46,009 --> 00:30:47,765 Here we go 474 00:30:50,201 --> 00:30:53,816 I know you're probably too young to be thinking about marriage, 475 00:30:53,817 --> 00:30:55,160 but take it from me, 476 00:30:55,161 --> 00:30:59,543 if you find somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with, 477 00:30:59,544 --> 00:31:01,453 there's nothing better 478 00:31:01,657 --> 00:31:03,352 Thanks, sweetie 479 00:31:03,353 --> 00:31:06,103 But before you get married, 480 00:31:06,104 --> 00:31:09,016 make sure you explore all your options, guys, 481 00:31:09,017 --> 00:31:11,918 and bone as many chicks as you can 482 00:31:12,536 --> 00:31:17,751 Well, ladies, be sure you take the long way through Dick-town, too 483 00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,896 I banged at least fifty guys 484 00:31:19,897 --> 00:31:23,410 before I met this asshole sitting next to me here 485 00:31:23,928 --> 00:31:25,207 And a group of girls, too 486 00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:30,103 It was no accident that I invited the electrician and the plumber 487 00:31:30,104 --> 00:31:31,287 on the same day 488 00:31:31,288 --> 00:31:34,295 - Ohh - Whoo-whoo! Real hot! 489 00:31:34,296 --> 00:31:36,599 Guys, listen up 490 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,679 If you're planning on having a threesome, 491 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,367 you better to do it before you get married 492 00:31:41,368 --> 00:31:45,751 But trust me, there's no better sensation 493 00:31:45,752 --> 00:31:49,814 than two women making out while riding your Johnson 494 00:31:49,815 --> 00:31:51,095 I almost forgot 495 00:31:51,096 --> 00:31:52,950 Book yourself a ticket to... 496 00:31:52,951 --> 00:31:56,119 Try sleeping with your fiancé's best man 497 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,431 and his brother 498 00:31:57,432 --> 00:31:59,670 at the wedding reception 499 00:31:59,671 --> 00:32:01,809 Very hot 500 00:32:38,262 --> 00:32:40,782 Great 501 00:33:01,142 --> 00:33:03,182 Ohh 502 00:33:03,286 --> 00:33:04,373 Ohh 503 00:33:04,374 --> 00:33:07,090 Ooh, that's nice 504 00:33:09,046 --> 00:33:12,176 Oh, why didn't I think of this before? 505 00:33:17,014 --> 00:33:19,185 Oh, shit 506 00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,020 Ohh! Ohh! 507 00:33:25,622 --> 00:33:27,892 Damn it, damn it, damn it! 508 00:33:27,893 --> 00:33:29,748 Honey, dinner's ready 509 00:33:29,749 --> 00:33:32,373 Oh, my God Oh, my God 510 00:33:32,374 --> 00:33:33,999 Oh, this is bad 511 00:33:36,949 --> 00:33:38,837 Can you pass the mashed potatoes, please? 512 00:33:38,838 --> 00:33:41,521 - Certainly - Thank you 513 00:33:43,126 --> 00:33:46,223 Mm Everything is delicious, dear 514 00:33:52,085 --> 00:33:54,868 Did you pick up your condoms for the prom? 515 00:33:54,869 --> 00:33:57,460 Yeah, they gave them out for free at school today 516 00:33:57,461 --> 00:34:00,461 They did? Yeah Thanks, though 517 00:34:09,012 --> 00:34:11,347 Honey, is your vagina ringing? 518 00:34:11,477 --> 00:34:15,404 Dad! That's ridiculous 519 00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:21,267 Sounded like it 520 00:34:23,253 --> 00:34:27,115 Okay, I think we've learned a lot here Class dismissed 521 00:34:28,020 --> 00:34:29,619 I'll see ya all tomorrow 522 00:34:29,620 --> 00:34:31,507 Now, remember your permission slips for the field trip 523 00:34:31,508 --> 00:34:34,579 Now, these permission slips are no joke, people, okay? 524 00:34:34,580 --> 00:34:36,180 Now if you can't find your parents, 525 00:34:36,181 --> 00:34:38,416 they're in their bedroom, doing it 526 00:34:41,908 --> 00:34:44,689 - He'd probably use the toys - Totally 527 00:34:45,172 --> 00:34:47,091 Hey, Stacey Jess 528 00:34:47,092 --> 00:34:48,914 - Hey - Hi 529 00:35:03,156 --> 00:35:05,554 Uh, so listen, Stacey, um... 530 00:35:05,555 --> 00:35:07,922 Mike, can I talk to you for a second? 531 00:35:11,155 --> 00:35:13,043 - Later? - Yes 532 00:35:13,043 --> 00:35:14,897 - Awesome - Okay 533 00:35:21,779 --> 00:35:23,250 So, Mike, 534 00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:25,902 how are things going with you and Stacy? 535 00:35:26,227 --> 00:35:28,019 Oh, uh, great 536 00:35:28,020 --> 00:35:30,195 You know, we're really good friends We... 537 00:35:30,196 --> 00:35:33,427 Hey, hey! Don't bullshit a bull-shitter, bro 538 00:35:33,427 --> 00:35:37,649 I know you're into Stacy You wanna rap about it? 539 00:35:39,603 --> 00:35:41,618 Yeah, I mean, I don't know I like Stacy 540 00:35:41,618 --> 00:35:43,537 - Hmm Hmm - A lot 541 00:35:43,538 --> 00:35:46,802 What do I do? How do I tell her how I feel? 542 00:35:46,803 --> 00:35:48,337 That's a good question 543 00:35:48,338 --> 00:35:49,586 You don't 544 00:35:49,587 --> 00:35:51,442 I don't? 545 00:35:51,443 --> 00:35:54,097 No, you don't 546 00:35:54,098 --> 00:35:58,642 You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy is, ooh, way out of your league 547 00:35:58,643 --> 00:36:00,781 Way 548 00:36:01,363 --> 00:36:02,705 What? What do you mean? 549 00:36:02,706 --> 00:36:04,625 I thought you were all about breaking the rules 550 00:36:04,626 --> 00:36:07,345 and there are no rules and we're all equal 551 00:36:07,346 --> 00:36:10,450 I am Just not when it comes to you and Stacy 552 00:36:10,451 --> 00:36:14,737 You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy, to get her, 553 00:36:14,738 --> 00:36:18,194 boy, you'd need like a truckload of cough syrup 554 00:36:18,195 --> 00:36:20,497 and a vat of malt liquor 555 00:36:20,498 --> 00:36:22,705 Really mellow her out, you know what I mean? 556 00:36:22,706 --> 00:36:26,513 But not knock her out That's a whole different class altogether 557 00:36:26,514 --> 00:36:28,017 - What? - Mike 558 00:36:28,018 --> 00:36:30,193 you need to go after something more attainable 559 00:36:30,194 --> 00:36:34,065 You need to find somebody who's a lot less 560 00:36:34,065 --> 00:36:35,633 pretty-err 561 00:36:35,633 --> 00:36:38,417 You might have to go up a few weight classes... 562 00:36:38,418 --> 00:36:40,849 a little more than you're comfortable with, probably... 563 00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:43,377 buck-fifty, two bills... I'm not sure 564 00:36:43,378 --> 00:36:46,417 Somebody who hasn't seen the light of day in quite a long time 565 00:36:46,418 --> 00:36:49,488 Acne scars, fangs for teeth, bad hygiene, 566 00:36:49,489 --> 00:36:52,145 - retarded, if you will - What!? 567 00:36:52,146 --> 00:36:56,112 Hey, sometimes keepin' it real hurts, little bro 568 00:36:56,113 --> 00:36:59,600 But in the end, we're all stronger people 569 00:36:59,601 --> 00:37:02,320 Now go out there and get an ugly chick 570 00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:04,912 Or a whore Good luck 571 00:37:04,913 --> 00:37:06,473 Good talk 572 00:37:08,785 --> 00:37:11,883 Now, a quick word from our sponsor. 573 00:37:13,489 --> 00:37:16,944 Tired of waking up with morning wood? 574 00:37:16,945 --> 00:37:20,016 Embarrassed by untimely hard-ones? 575 00:37:20,017 --> 00:37:23,568 Boners sprouting up at the most inopportune times? 576 00:37:23,569 --> 00:37:27,376 Well, that's why we've invented Flaccitra. 577 00:37:27,377 --> 00:37:30,224 Flaccitra cuts off blood to your penis, 578 00:37:30,225 --> 00:37:33,072 causing it to shrink like a frightened turtle. 579 00:37:33,073 --> 00:37:36,208 So, for you teenagers suffering from SBS... 580 00:37:36,209 --> 00:37:38,256 Sudden Boner Syndrome... 581 00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:39,792 try Flaccitra today. 582 00:37:39,793 --> 00:37:43,056 Flaccitra may cause infertility, mood swings, loss of appetite, 583 00:37:43,057 --> 00:37:44,880 headaches, butt acne, penis leprosy, 584 00:37:44,881 --> 00:37:46,639 scarlet fever, bloody ejaculations, 585 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,207 and for a complete list of side effects 586 00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:49,775 go to Flaccitra. Com. 587 00:37:49,776 --> 00:37:51,279 Come on, guys 588 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,702 Flaccitra. 589 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,101 Mmm, this is nice, baby 590 00:38:12,335 --> 00:38:15,535 Lindsey, relax Everybody farts 591 00:38:15,536 --> 00:38:17,071 This is huge. 592 00:38:17,072 --> 00:38:19,183 We've crossed the Fart Barrier 593 00:38:19,184 --> 00:38:20,943 Really? 594 00:38:20,944 --> 00:38:23,023 Ahh 595 00:38:23,024 --> 00:38:25,870 See? It's nothin!' 596 00:38:33,263 --> 00:38:35,881 I do feel comfortable with you 597 00:39:31,087 --> 00:39:32,845 Damn! 598 00:39:32,846 --> 00:39:35,148 Now, that's just nasty. 599 00:39:45,518 --> 00:39:47,981 Oh, my God! Oh, yes! 600 00:39:47,982 --> 00:39:51,277 Hey, man, she was riding you like a pogo stick! Up and down! 601 00:39:51,278 --> 00:39:53,325 Hold on, hold on It gets better 602 00:39:53,326 --> 00:39:55,725 - Wait for it - I'm gonna cum! 603 00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:58,861 Now 604 00:39:58,862 --> 00:40:00,460 Oh, my God! 605 00:40:00,461 --> 00:40:02,028 Whoo 606 00:40:02,029 --> 00:40:04,365 Let me introduce you to The Screamer 607 00:40:04,366 --> 00:40:06,509 Griffin, this chick is amazing 608 00:40:06,510 --> 00:40:07,725 Which is why I invited her over here today 609 00:40:07,726 --> 00:40:09,100 Yes, sir 610 00:40:09,101 --> 00:40:11,149 And we're gonna be right here to make sure you go through with it 611 00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:13,677 Got your little sister's baby monitor hooked up in your room 612 00:40:13,678 --> 00:40:16,205 And we're gonna have the other end right here so we can listen in 613 00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,029 No Not happening, guys 614 00:40:18,030 --> 00:40:19,052 - Not happening? - No 615 00:40:19,053 --> 00:40:20,844 - Yes Yes - No No 616 00:40:20,845 --> 00:40:22,412 Well, that's what you think 617 00:40:22,413 --> 00:40:24,620 - Oh Too late - Oh, I love it! 618 00:40:24,621 --> 00:40:26,049 Go ahead 619 00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:32,076 - Hi, I'm... I'm Mike - Where's your room? 620 00:40:33,997 --> 00:40:35,500 Oh, my God 621 00:40:35,501 --> 00:40:38,380 Oh, shit 622 00:40:38,381 --> 00:40:40,236 Oh, my God 623 00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:41,927 I can't believe this 624 00:40:43,277 --> 00:40:44,908 Come here 625 00:40:44,909 --> 00:40:46,501 Oh, shit 626 00:40:47,693 --> 00:40:51,020 Whoa, you're taking your shirt off immediately like that, 627 00:40:51,021 --> 00:40:52,972 it's kinda tough for me to say no. 628 00:40:52,973 --> 00:40:55,468 You hear that, man? The shirt just came off! 629 00:40:55,469 --> 00:40:57,900 - It's on! - Oh, it is on, all right 630 00:40:57,901 --> 00:40:59,755 Put it in me 631 00:41:01,325 --> 00:41:04,554 Why... why don't I just grab some ear plugs real quick? 632 00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:08,044 Oh, my God, what should I do? 633 00:41:08,045 --> 00:41:10,499 Oh, hell no, man, is it broke? 634 00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:16,227 What are you waiting for? 635 00:41:16,556 --> 00:41:18,156 I'm sorry I... 636 00:41:18,157 --> 00:41:19,724 I can't do this 637 00:41:19,725 --> 00:41:21,067 What? 638 00:41:21,068 --> 00:41:24,299 There's this girl in my high school, and I... I really like her 639 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:26,539 Great I didn't have a back-up plan 640 00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:30,411 Now I've gotta go fuck a trucker or a cab driver or 641 00:41:30,412 --> 00:41:32,168 a homeless guy 642 00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:35,947 Do you possibly think that maybe you could go through the back door? 643 00:41:35,948 --> 00:41:38,955 Just so you know you're givin' up a sure thing 644 00:41:38,956 --> 00:41:41,890 Your friend said that you were desperate for it 645 00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:45,574 Last chance 646 00:41:50,604 --> 00:41:53,771 Man, all the settin' up we did, he better not be pussin' out 647 00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:55,243 He's definitely pussing out 648 00:41:55,244 --> 00:41:57,611 Let's go see what's going on with the dumb-ass 649 00:41:57,612 --> 00:41:59,243 You like that, don't you? 650 00:41:59,244 --> 00:42:01,867 Ha ha! We back in action! Oh, Mike! 651 00:42:01,868 --> 00:42:04,769 Yeah, Mike! Whoo-hoo! 652 00:42:05,579 --> 00:42:07,594 Man, you hear that? 653 00:42:07,595 --> 00:42:10,246 Yeah! 654 00:42:11,051 --> 00:42:12,458 Ride it! Ride it! 655 00:42:12,459 --> 00:42:15,659 My boy's goin' strong to the hole, I'm tellin' ya! 656 00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:18,058 - She's going nuts! - She wasn't that crazy with me 657 00:42:18,059 --> 00:42:21,418 Ahem 658 00:42:21,419 --> 00:42:23,971 Hi Have you guys seen my purse? 659 00:42:32,107 --> 00:42:35,146 Oh, Mike! You're so big! 660 00:42:35,147 --> 00:42:39,204 Ahh! Ahh! Oh, Mike, I've never been fucked so good! 661 00:42:42,027 --> 00:42:44,650 Cover your ears! I'm about to cum! 662 00:42:44,651 --> 00:42:46,410 I'm Cumming! I'm Cumming! 663 00:42:46,411 --> 00:42:48,681 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 664 00:42:48,682 --> 00:42:51,401 Oh! Oh! You're such a beast! 665 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:52,490 I'm your big daddy 666 00:42:52,491 --> 00:42:54,377 Mike, I'm... cover your ears! 667 00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:58,121 Shh! Shh! Oh! Oh! 668 00:42:58,122 --> 00:42:59,466 All right, home stretch 669 00:42:59,467 --> 00:43:02,537 Oh, like that! Oh, like that! Oh, like that! 670 00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:05,920 Oh, my God, oh, my God 671 00:43:06,186 --> 00:43:09,673 I'm in love, Mike I love you 672 00:43:09,674 --> 00:43:11,465 I love you, Mike 673 00:43:11,466 --> 00:43:15,688 Let them know you worked it, dust it off and jerk it 674 00:43:15,689 --> 00:43:19,714 So was it as good for you guys as it was for me? 675 00:43:21,738 --> 00:43:23,976 You know, I would tell you to go fuck yourself, 676 00:43:23,977 --> 00:43:26,245 but it sounds like you just did 677 00:43:29,641 --> 00:43:32,105 Now, Suzy, I don't know how to tell you this, 678 00:43:32,106 --> 00:43:33,961 so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 679 00:43:33,962 --> 00:43:35,208 Say it. 680 00:43:35,209 --> 00:43:38,184 I've been sleeping with your mom. 681 00:43:38,185 --> 00:43:40,520 - Hank, come on - What? 682 00:43:40,521 --> 00:43:43,017 You know I made an abstinence pledge 683 00:43:43,018 --> 00:43:44,777 I promised myself I'd wait until I was sure 684 00:43:44,778 --> 00:43:46,751 it was with the right guy 685 00:43:47,145 --> 00:43:49,129 I thought I was the right guy 686 00:43:49,130 --> 00:43:50,697 You might be 687 00:43:50,698 --> 00:43:53,032 I'm just not sure yet 688 00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:55,400 But I like you a lot 689 00:44:06,025 --> 00:44:08,328 Hi, sexually frustrated teenager! 690 00:44:08,329 --> 00:44:09,960 I'm Blue Bally! 691 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,360 And if you and your girlfriend don't have sex soon, 692 00:44:12,361 --> 00:44:14,984 you're gonna wind up with a serious case of blue-balls! 693 00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:18,726 That's right! Your nuts are gonna turn blue 694 00:44:19,177 --> 00:44:22,623 Aw, don't be afraid I'm here to help 695 00:44:22,921 --> 00:44:26,087 You've been stiff as a board for the last two hours 696 00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:28,295 That means you're reaching a critical moment 697 00:44:28,296 --> 00:44:31,079 where that good tingly feeling down there 698 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,783 can quickly turn into an achy not-so-good feeling! 699 00:44:35,784 --> 00:44:37,605 Wh... what do you mean? 700 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:41,127 See, Hank, right now your testicles are filled with semen, 701 00:44:41,128 --> 00:44:42,983 and only a little bit's dripping out 702 00:44:42,984 --> 00:44:44,519 That's called pre-cum 703 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,399 What you want to do is ejaculate 704 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,695 Otherwise, that back up of jizz will cause pressure in your nut sack 705 00:44:50,696 --> 00:44:52,807 to the point of making you nauseous 706 00:44:52,808 --> 00:44:58,406 In fact, your genitals can increase in size 25 to 50% That's huge! 707 00:44:58,407 --> 00:45:01,319 - So, what do I do? - From where I'm sittin,' 708 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,462 even if your girlfriend won't have intercourse with you, 709 00:45:03,463 --> 00:45:06,812 the least you should be able to do is to score a hand job 710 00:45:08,615 --> 00:45:10,436 Judy? 711 00:45:10,632 --> 00:45:14,374 L... I want you to know that I really do care about you 712 00:45:14,375 --> 00:45:18,335 And I've known that since the first time I saw you in Bible Study class 713 00:45:19,143 --> 00:45:20,833 Uh-huh 714 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,396 uh-huh 715 00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:25,923 uh-huh 716 00:45:27,431 --> 00:45:30,822 - Uh-oh That's not good - What do you mean? 717 00:45:30,823 --> 00:45:33,606 With that kind of arousal, it's only a matter of seconds 718 00:45:33,607 --> 00:45:37,062 before full-on irreversible blue balls! 719 00:45:37,063 --> 00:45:39,942 You better go to the bathroom and jerk off, right now 720 00:45:39,943 --> 00:45:41,126 - Here? - Yes! Go! 721 00:45:41,127 --> 00:45:42,470 There's no time to waste! 722 00:45:42,471 --> 00:45:45,121 Go! Get going! It's a medical emergency! 723 00:45:50,439 --> 00:45:53,062 Oh, yeah, you won't see this on children's television! 724 00:45:53,063 --> 00:45:54,917 Blue Bally! 725 00:45:55,367 --> 00:45:58,334 Hope you like sloppy seconds! Hah! 726 00:45:59,591 --> 00:46:03,300 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 727 00:46:04,006 --> 00:46:06,246 Man, I'm never gonna get laid I'm such a loser 728 00:46:06,247 --> 00:46:09,030 No, you're not I met a girl in a chat room 729 00:46:09,031 --> 00:46:10,502 - Did you? - Yeah 730 00:46:10,503 --> 00:46:12,518 I met in her in Teen lonely boys 731 00:46:12,519 --> 00:46:15,046 'Cause I figure I'm a teen and I'm lonely 732 00:46:15,047 --> 00:46:17,605 Anyways, it's crazy, 733 00:46:17,606 --> 00:46:19,653 there's not a lot of girls in that chat room 734 00:46:19,654 --> 00:46:22,309 It's mostly older guys interested in photography 735 00:46:22,310 --> 00:46:24,037 That's kind of creepy 736 00:46:24,038 --> 00:46:26,181 It is at first, but, you know, 737 00:46:26,182 --> 00:46:28,709 once I made it clear that I was a teen boy 738 00:46:28,710 --> 00:46:30,245 in the market for a teen girl, 739 00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,389 ladies were just coming out of the woodwork 740 00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,853 And now I have a girlfriend Her name is Randy 741 00:46:34,854 --> 00:46:36,517 Isn't that a guy's name? 742 00:46:36,518 --> 00:46:38,341 It's both I... 743 00:46:38,342 --> 00:46:40,581 I mean, she says she gets that all the time 744 00:46:40,582 --> 00:46:45,349 - She send you a picture? - No Uh... but I sent her tons of mine 745 00:46:45,350 --> 00:46:48,317 Most of them are naked It's awesome 746 00:46:48,869 --> 00:46:50,628 Well, maybe I'll give it a try 747 00:46:50,629 --> 00:46:54,338 And maybe if you're lucky someday, you'll have a Randy, just like me 748 00:47:04,677 --> 00:47:06,404 "Sweeety Pi" 749 00:47:06,405 --> 00:47:08,292 Accept 750 00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:12,063 Hi. 751 00:47:13,221 --> 00:47:14,846 Hi. 752 00:47:15,813 --> 00:47:17,241 Sex chat? 753 00:47:18,693 --> 00:47:20,644 Sure. 754 00:47:20,645 --> 00:47:24,484 Okay. I'm dressed in a tight mini-dress walking down a dark alley. 755 00:47:24,485 --> 00:47:26,916 I'm completely alone and vulnerable. 756 00:47:26,917 --> 00:47:28,900 Then you appear out of the shadows. 757 00:47:28,901 --> 00:47:32,228 You wear all black, with a ski mask over your head. 758 00:47:32,229 --> 00:47:35,196 You approach me menacingly and say?... 759 00:47:37,220 --> 00:47:39,839 Hey, what's up. 760 00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:43,140 Was that wrong? 761 00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:44,547 Menacing. 762 00:47:44,548 --> 00:47:46,436 Okay 763 00:47:46,437 --> 00:47:48,516 What are you doing in my alley? 764 00:47:48,517 --> 00:47:50,628 Oh, no. You stay away from me. 765 00:47:50,629 --> 00:47:54,116 I'm lost, alone, and half-naked. 766 00:47:54,116 --> 00:47:57,531 But I have Mace. Don't try and take advantage of me. 767 00:47:58,084 --> 00:48:01,635 Okay, sorry, no problem. Do you need cab money? 768 00:48:01,636 --> 00:48:04,669 Be aggressive. I want it. 769 00:48:05,924 --> 00:48:08,611 Oh Weird 770 00:48:08,612 --> 00:48:12,451 I'm afraid I don't care about Mace. Prepare to be attacked. 771 00:48:12,452 --> 00:48:14,557 Sexually. 772 00:48:15,203 --> 00:48:18,883 That was amazing. We should meet. 773 00:48:18,884 --> 00:48:20,995 Come to 429 Covington Avenue, apartment 8, 774 00:48:20,996 --> 00:48:22,851 tomorrow night at 10:00. 775 00:48:22,852 --> 00:48:25,091 Wear a mask. Take me against my will. 776 00:48:25,092 --> 00:48:27,906 Don't break character. 777 00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:35,266 - Oh, hello, dear - Oh, hey, Jane 778 00:48:35,267 --> 00:48:37,059 Doing anything special tonight? 779 00:48:37,060 --> 00:48:40,482 Nope, just baking cookies for my niece 780 00:48:40,483 --> 00:48:43,035 Oh 781 00:49:12,291 --> 00:49:14,494 Just a second! 782 00:49:18,179 --> 00:49:20,087 Did somebody order the rape? 783 00:49:20,227 --> 00:49:21,730 Aaaah! 784 00:49:21,731 --> 00:49:23,519 Whoo! Oooh! 785 00:49:23,778 --> 00:49:25,281 So far so good 786 00:49:25,282 --> 00:49:27,330 Uh, you can run but you can't hide 787 00:49:27,331 --> 00:49:29,985 from forced sexual intercourse, 788 00:49:29,986 --> 00:49:32,288 you know what I mean ma'am? 789 00:49:33,282 --> 00:49:34,753 Get out! 790 00:49:34,754 --> 00:49:37,761 God, be careful! You're gonna hurt me! 791 00:49:37,762 --> 00:49:41,601 I mean, you won't be so feisty when I'm violating you 792 00:49:41,602 --> 00:49:43,096 Sexually 793 00:49:49,282 --> 00:49:51,965 I'm bleeding! 794 00:49:52,834 --> 00:49:54,458 That won’t stop me! 795 00:50:01,570 --> 00:50:02,976 No, you don't 796 00:50:02,977 --> 00:50:04,449 Oh 797 00:50:04,449 --> 00:50:05,633 I'm sorry, I'll pay for this 798 00:50:05,634 --> 00:50:07,297 You stay back I'm warning you! 799 00:50:07,298 --> 00:50:09,825 Uh, I'm scared, yeah, yeah I'm scared and... 800 00:50:09,826 --> 00:50:11,898 Oh, my God! 801 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,889 What is it?! What is it!? 802 00:50:23,137 --> 00:50:25,536 Oh, God! Oh, it's burning! 803 00:50:25,537 --> 00:50:27,577 Aaaah! 804 00:50:31,649 --> 00:50:33,820 Did somebody order the rape? 805 00:50:44,353 --> 00:50:45,504 Fred 806 00:50:45,505 --> 00:50:46,720 Oh Hey, Betty 807 00:50:46,721 --> 00:50:47,872 - Hey - How's it goin?' 808 00:50:47,873 --> 00:50:48,992 What's wrong? 809 00:50:48,993 --> 00:50:51,168 Oh, it's just been kind of a crazy week 810 00:50:51,169 --> 00:50:53,088 It's a long story, though 811 00:50:53,089 --> 00:50:55,071 You know, Fred, I've been thinking 812 00:50:55,072 --> 00:50:56,991 we've been friends for a really long time 813 00:50:56,992 --> 00:50:58,748 Yeah Yeah, we have 814 00:50:59,041 --> 00:51:01,087 Maybe it's time we take things to the next level 815 00:51:01,088 --> 00:51:03,356 Next level? 816 00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:05,625 Wow 817 00:51:10,688 --> 00:51:12,694 Next level! 818 00:51:13,312 --> 00:51:15,264 Hey, baby, this is for you. 819 00:51:15,265 --> 00:51:17,888 I love you. You're the only one for me. 820 00:51:17,888 --> 00:51:19,895 I hope you enjoy. 821 00:51:37,664 --> 00:51:40,063 Kat, can I borrow a squirt of your herpes cream? 822 00:51:40,064 --> 00:51:43,096 Uh, yeah, sure. I'll bring it over in a minute. 823 00:51:51,136 --> 00:51:52,990 Ohh! Ow! 824 00:52:06,752 --> 00:52:08,889 I'm not in Leave a message 825 00:52:09,536 --> 00:52:11,455 Hey, girl, it's Billy Sharpe from the basketball team 826 00:52:11,456 --> 00:52:15,612 Thanks for rockin' my world Talk about takin' it to the hole... damn! 827 00:52:16,671 --> 00:52:18,557 Sorry about that. 828 00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:24,862 Oh, shoot! Aaaah! 829 00:52:24,863 --> 00:52:26,717 Nice titties! 830 00:52:34,431 --> 00:52:36,477 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 831 00:52:36,478 --> 00:52:38,234 Put the south in your mouth, pretty baby 832 00:52:43,679 --> 00:52:48,860 Put the south in your mouth, pretty baby 833 00:52:51,519 --> 00:52:56,188 Let me slop my biscuit in your gravy 834 00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:02,717 I'm gonna do it 835 00:53:02,718 --> 00:53:04,477 I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it 836 00:53:04,478 --> 00:53:07,292 I'm there I'm there I'm there I'm there 837 00:53:14,717 --> 00:53:19,197 Put the south in your mouth, pretty baby 838 00:53:19,198 --> 00:53:21,204 I wanna kiss your mouth 839 00:53:22,430 --> 00:53:25,436 Mm, tastes like blueberry 840 00:53:25,437 --> 00:53:28,957 So good... 841 00:53:28,958 --> 00:53:31,996 Oh, God 842 00:53:31,997 --> 00:53:33,851 Mmm 843 00:53:38,558 --> 00:53:40,728 Hi 844 00:53:42,238 --> 00:53:43,862 Hi 845 00:53:47,198 --> 00:53:49,619 You look like you just saw a ghost 846 00:53:50,653 --> 00:53:52,409 Um 847 00:53:53,566 --> 00:53:56,565 I had a... a really bad dream 848 00:53:57,629 --> 00:53:59,229 Oh, sweetie 849 00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:01,276 It's okay 850 00:54:01,277 --> 00:54:03,033 Come here 851 00:54:08,957 --> 00:54:12,055 I had an amazing time last night 852 00:54:13,245 --> 00:54:16,124 Oh l'm sorry 853 00:54:16,125 --> 00:54:17,596 Do you have a toilet? 854 00:54:17,597 --> 00:54:19,899 Oh Yeah, it's right over there 855 00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:21,590 Ohh 856 00:54:26,589 --> 00:54:29,970 Mmm long night 857 00:54:32,348 --> 00:54:35,249 - Hello - Aaah! 858 00:54:35,516 --> 00:54:37,719 Who the hell are you? 859 00:54:38,044 --> 00:54:40,508 Why don't you ask your dick? 860 00:54:40,509 --> 00:54:42,011 What is going on here? 861 00:54:42,012 --> 00:54:44,603 - Relax, Len - How do you know my name? 862 00:54:44,604 --> 00:54:47,324 Uh, I usually like to know the name of the guy 863 00:54:47,324 --> 00:54:49,211 who's fucking my mouth 864 00:54:49,212 --> 00:54:50,651 Nobody fucked anybody's mouth last night! 865 00:54:50,652 --> 00:54:53,275 Fine Nobody fucked my mouth last night 866 00:54:53,276 --> 00:54:54,651 And I guess 867 00:54:54,652 --> 00:54:59,227 nobody was three knuckles deep in my sphincter, either 868 00:54:59,228 --> 00:55:01,403 Jesus Christ, what were you doing, 869 00:55:01,404 --> 00:55:03,547 reaching for, like, a winning lottery ticket or something? 870 00:55:03,548 --> 00:55:06,515 I could feel you in my small intestines 871 00:55:08,444 --> 00:55:10,330 Oh, look what the cat dragged in 872 00:55:10,331 --> 00:55:13,210 - Do you have any matches? - Such diarrhea Ugh 873 00:55:13,211 --> 00:55:15,163 I'll air that out All right? 874 00:55:15,164 --> 00:55:18,395 What I need right now is for you to leave my house 875 00:55:18,396 --> 00:55:19,738 My parents are coming home this afternoon 876 00:55:19,739 --> 00:55:20,890 and I need to start cleaning up 877 00:55:20,891 --> 00:55:22,810 Sorry Dick hair 878 00:55:22,811 --> 00:55:24,570 Those weren't your parents we met last night? 879 00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:26,683 My parents are in Cancun 880 00:55:26,684 --> 00:55:30,106 Yeah Yeah Right. 881 00:55:30,107 --> 00:55:32,730 If you say your parents aren't here, 882 00:55:32,731 --> 00:55:34,938 then we'll just believe that your parents weren't here 883 00:55:34,939 --> 00:55:36,794 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle 884 00:55:36,795 --> 00:55:39,290 I don't care I came here to fuck 885 00:55:39,291 --> 00:55:40,794 and get fucked. 886 00:55:40,795 --> 00:55:43,930 And you know, I got fucked last night Fucked good 887 00:55:43,931 --> 00:55:45,530 Okay Very funny 888 00:55:45,531 --> 00:55:47,258 The, uh, the joke's over 889 00:55:47,259 --> 00:55:49,306 This has been a delightful little prank that you guys have played on me, 890 00:55:49,307 --> 00:55:51,866 but now it's time for you to respect my wishes 891 00:55:51,867 --> 00:55:55,354 and please get the hell out of my house! 892 00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:57,018 Yeah 893 00:55:57,019 --> 00:56:00,122 You're right The whole thing was a prank 894 00:56:00,123 --> 00:56:02,361 After we invited you for a threesome, 895 00:56:02,362 --> 00:56:06,938 I got blueberry yogurt and I smeared it all over my face and your balls 896 00:56:06,939 --> 00:56:09,081 to make it look like you fucked my mouth 897 00:56:09,082 --> 00:56:12,185 And then I dig my fingers in my asshole 898 00:56:12,186 --> 00:56:15,386 and put some of my butt stink on your hands 899 00:56:15,387 --> 00:56:19,641 And then I put some moisturizer up on the ceiling 900 00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:21,689 to make it look like you shoot a load up there 901 00:56:21,690 --> 00:56:24,537 Pooh! Yeah! All a joke 902 00:56:25,018 --> 00:56:28,280 Please just get the hell out 903 00:56:28,858 --> 00:56:31,639 - Fine - Whatever 904 00:56:32,442 --> 00:56:35,409 Please, just... just leave 905 00:56:35,738 --> 00:56:38,160 Ooh So kind 906 00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:50,553 If you say your parents aren't here, 907 00:56:50,554 --> 00:56:52,569 then we'll just believe that your parents aren't here. 908 00:56:52,570 --> 00:56:55,766 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle. Mm-hmm. 909 00:57:01,466 --> 00:57:04,793 Oh thank God 910 00:57:16,793 --> 00:57:19,128 Oh, please, God, don't let them be home 911 00:57:19,129 --> 00:57:24,726 I swear I'll never drink again just... just don't let them be here 912 00:57:30,201 --> 00:57:32,088 Hello 913 00:57:32,089 --> 00:57:35,830 So, you guys are home early 914 00:57:37,208 --> 00:57:39,957 Did you just get in? 915 00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:44,822 How was your second honeymoon? 916 00:57:46,552 --> 00:57:48,592 Oh! No! 917 00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,102 Get the hell out of our sight 918 00:57:58,072 --> 00:57:59,500 Okay 919 00:58:00,152 --> 00:58:01,879 How could you!? 920 00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,663 How could you!? How could you!? 921 00:58:04,664 --> 00:58:06,605 Ohh! 922 00:58:11,864 --> 00:58:14,198 Len, can we talk? 923 00:58:14,552 --> 00:58:17,170 Um, just a minute 924 00:58:21,976 --> 00:58:24,279 What, you been doing a little spackling work on the ceiling? 925 00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,999 Oh, God, Dad, no This... it's not... 926 00:58:26,1000 --> 00:58:28,534 Your mother and I are disgusted with you, Len 927 00:58:28,535 --> 00:58:29,655 Well, uh... 928 00:58:29,655 --> 00:58:31,607 Look at her 929 00:58:31,608 --> 00:58:33,463 - You don't understand - Son, 930 00:58:33,464 --> 00:58:36,529 I have one question for you, and I'm only gonna ask it once 931 00:58:37,079 --> 00:58:39,223 Have you been sneaking behind our backs 932 00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:41,329 and being on a hidden camera show? 933 00:58:42,071 --> 00:58:44,111 - What? - Look over there 934 00:58:45,848 --> 00:58:49,294 No No, no, no, no, no! You didn't! 935 00:58:51,031 --> 00:58:53,398 They were in there the whole time? 936 00:58:53,527 --> 00:58:55,022 Gotcha! 937 00:58:55,256 --> 00:58:56,342 No! 938 00:58:56,343 --> 00:58:57,590 Hey, buddy! 939 00:58:57,591 --> 00:59:00,437 Fuck anybody in their mouth lately? 940 00:59:01,399 --> 00:59:02,710 Look at his face! 941 00:59:02,711 --> 00:59:04,406 How could you do this to me? 942 00:59:04,407 --> 00:59:06,130 Wait Who am I? 943 00:59:10,135 --> 00:59:13,811 We roofied you, honey 944 00:59:15,767 --> 00:59:17,366 Wait, wait, wait... so I didn't fuck you 945 00:59:17,367 --> 00:59:18,453 and you didn't fuck me? 946 00:59:18,454 --> 00:59:21,389 Well, I fucked you a little, but it wasn’t all faggy 947 00:59:29,590 --> 00:59:32,501 Mr. Tight Sphincter ha ha ha ha! 948 00:59:32,502 --> 00:59:34,677 Mark 949 00:59:34,678 --> 00:59:37,142 Fellas, personal advice from me to you: 950 00:59:37,143 --> 00:59:39,062 Get in there and shave that shit up 951 00:59:39,063 --> 00:59:42,101 Visually, it will give yourself an extra two or three inches 952 00:59:42,102 --> 00:59:44,629 If you're having anal intercourse, 953 00:59:44,630 --> 00:59:46,293 whatever you do, 954 00:59:46,294 --> 00:59:49,717 pull out and deposit your sperm on her back 955 00:59:49,718 --> 00:59:52,469 She'll appreciate it in the long run 956 00:59:52,470 --> 00:59:55,381 Alcohol and sex don't mix 957 00:59:55,382 --> 00:59:57,973 Cocaine and sex 958 00:59:57,974 --> 01:00:00,981 If you don't have a rubber, don't panic, whatever you do 959 01:00:00,982 --> 01:00:02,549 Watch this Ready? 960 01:00:02,550 --> 01:00:05,451 "Hold on a sec, babe Lemme grab my jimmy hat" 961 01:00:07,574 --> 01:00:09,813 And then pantomime 962 01:00:09,814 --> 01:00:13,905 "Oh! It's so small! The rubber" 963 01:00:15,157 --> 01:00:18,068 And then you lock and load 964 01:00:18,069 --> 01:00:20,687 She'll never know 965 01:00:21,302 --> 01:00:23,157 - Damn! - Oh, my God! 966 01:00:23,158 --> 01:00:25,230 Ohh, what died? 967 01:00:25,846 --> 01:00:28,780 Girl, you gotta stop being so comfortable! 968 01:00:32,117 --> 01:00:35,444 - Hey, pretty sweet field trip, huh? - Yeah, it was cool 969 01:00:36,054 --> 01:00:38,322 So, Stacy, I wanted to ask you something 970 01:00:38,773 --> 01:00:40,463 Hey, man, I'm gonna catch you inside, all right? 971 01:00:41,365 --> 01:00:43,124 - Uh - So what'd you want to tell me? 972 01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:44,564 You know what, it can wait 973 01:00:44,565 --> 01:00:47,124 Hey, man, fake any orgasms lately? 974 01:00:47,125 --> 01:00:49,426 - Fuck off - What? 975 01:00:50,901 --> 01:00:52,052 Ew 976 01:00:52,053 --> 01:00:53,994 Are you okay? 977 01:00:54,293 --> 01:00:55,507 Yeah 978 01:00:55,508 --> 01:00:57,362 Why is that guy so tall? 979 01:00:58,005 --> 01:00:59,892 Great Yeah, I should be okay 980 01:00:59,893 --> 01:01:02,260 I'll just go try to clean up before we eat 981 01:01:02,261 --> 01:01:04,912 - Uh, see you inside? - Okay 982 01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:13,292 Sorry! 983 01:01:27,508 --> 01:01:28,979 Guys 984 01:01:28,980 --> 01:01:32,143 Can someone help me get off the bus? 985 01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:34,472 Hello? 986 01:01:35,444 --> 01:01:38,259 - Hello? Ah, there you are 987 01:01:38,260 --> 01:01:41,073 Everybody's waiting for you Come on 988 01:01:44,723 --> 01:01:49,065 Oh, yeah 989 01:01:52,628 --> 01:01:56,555 - Oh, yeah - Oh 990 01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:01,075 Licking, licking 991 01:02:01,076 --> 01:02:03,699 - Oh! Oh! Suck, suck, suck! 992 01:02:03,700 --> 01:02:05,902 Oh, yeah! 993 01:02:08,435 --> 01:02:11,119 Keep 'em shakin' 994 01:02:13,364 --> 01:02:15,154 Show 'em to me 995 01:02:15,155 --> 01:02:16,583 Tits 996 01:02:17,523 --> 01:02:19,986 Ohh, yeah! 997 01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:21,458 That's it, Nance 998 01:02:21,459 --> 01:02:24,146 Cut! Great job, girls 999 01:02:24,147 --> 01:02:26,642 Nancy, nice licking 1000 01:02:26,643 --> 01:02:28,781 Very good sucking, too 1001 01:02:29,107 --> 01:02:32,113 - Okay, he's here - It's about time 1002 01:02:32,114 --> 01:02:33,298 Listen, I know it's your first day, 1003 01:02:33,299 --> 01:02:34,993 but we got some stuff to shoot, all right? 1004 01:02:34,994 --> 01:02:36,561 - Uh... wha... - Now, listen 1005 01:02:36,562 --> 01:02:38,898 The way I view this film, 1006 01:02:38,899 --> 01:02:41,873 it's a spiritual successor to Rebel Without A Cause... 1007 01:02:41,874 --> 01:02:44,972 only with a lot more fucking Ha ha! 1008 01:02:45,491 --> 01:02:48,658 Uh, right Um, you guys, I think there's been a small... 1009 01:02:48,658 --> 01:02:51,080 I'm really looking forward to working with you 1010 01:02:51,699 --> 01:02:55,538 Jackie and I are especially curious how you got the name Gigundo-cock 1011 01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:58,545 Oh, I can't wait to wrap my hands around 1012 01:02:58,546 --> 01:03:00,785 the biggest penis in the biz 1013 01:03:00,786 --> 01:03:03,473 "Penis"? I haven't heard that word for a long time 1014 01:03:03,474 --> 01:03:06,097 - I usually just call it "dinner" - Mmm 1015 01:03:06,098 --> 01:03:08,171 Okay, everybody on set! 1016 01:03:10,130 --> 01:03:11,633 I told you they wouldn’t have any beer 1017 01:03:11,634 --> 01:03:13,265 Oh, man, how was I supposed to know? 1018 01:03:13,266 --> 01:03:16,113 - Oh, man! Sweet car! Here's the scene: 1019 01:03:16,114 --> 01:03:18,481 You've just helped these girls fix their car 1020 01:03:18,482 --> 01:03:21,265 And so to repay you, you get to bang 'em 1021 01:03:21,266 --> 01:03:24,273 Now, Nancy right here, she's gonna start by blowing you 1022 01:03:24,274 --> 01:03:26,736 Then you're gonna do some back-door stuff with Jackie 1023 01:03:26,737 --> 01:03:28,785 Bro, check this out 1024 01:03:28,786 --> 01:03:31,057 After that, just feel free to improvise 1025 01:03:31,058 --> 01:03:33,261 All right 1026 01:03:35,441 --> 01:03:37,200 Hey, you gonna need a fluffer? 1027 01:03:37,201 --> 01:03:38,728 Uh... uh... 1028 01:03:39,794 --> 01:03:41,232 All rightie 1029 01:03:41,233 --> 01:03:43,953 let's see that gigundo-cock 1030 01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:47,433 And action! 1031 01:03:47,569 --> 01:03:50,864 Thank you so much for fixing our car 1032 01:03:50,865 --> 01:03:53,647 How can we ever repay you? 1033 01:04:06,417 --> 01:04:07,824 What? 1034 01:04:09,905 --> 01:04:13,136 - Cut! - Hey, sorry I'm late 1035 01:04:13,137 --> 01:04:15,274 I'm Gigundo-cock 1036 01:04:17,745 --> 01:04:19,337 Damn 1037 01:04:25,104 --> 01:04:28,943 Yeah, I'm not Gigundo-cock 1038 01:04:28,944 --> 01:04:32,912 I'm just a small-town hick 1039 01:04:32,913 --> 01:04:36,592 An 18-year-old virgin 1040 01:04:36,593 --> 01:04:40,585 With a super-tiny dick 1041 01:04:41,232 --> 01:04:45,167 Kid, I've seen this once before 1042 01:04:45,168 --> 01:04:49,232 A boy who wished he was Ang Lee 1043 01:04:49,232 --> 01:04:53,039 Found he couldn't frame a shot 1044 01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:57,294 That's right, that little boy was me 1045 01:04:57,712 --> 01:05:01,423 It wasn’t my first choice 1046 01:05:01,424 --> 01:05:04,718 My parents think I'm in college 1047 01:05:05,584 --> 01:05:08,815 I thought I'd be doing theater 1048 01:05:08,816 --> 01:05:11,982 On Broadway 1049 01:05:11,983 --> 01:05:13,711 We're just accidentally 1050 01:05:13,712 --> 01:05:17,007 Incidentally, unintentionally making porn 1051 01:05:17,008 --> 01:05:20,943 Accidentally, incidentally, unintentionally 1052 01:05:20,943 --> 01:05:22,063 Making porn 1053 01:05:22,064 --> 01:05:26,536 Not me, I do it 'cause I fuckin' like it 1054 01:05:27,728 --> 01:05:31,694 Girl-on-girl pays fifty bucks 1055 01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:35,502 I get double for back-door fucks 1056 01:05:35,503 --> 01:05:39,662 How I got here I'll never know 1057 01:05:39,663 --> 01:05:43,406 Beats Mexico and that donkey show 1058 01:05:43,407 --> 01:05:45,518 All these tits got me in the mood 1059 01:05:45,519 --> 01:05:47,790 We're the ones who should be getting screwed 1060 01:05:47,791 --> 01:05:51,054 Let us be your man-whores 1061 01:05:51,055 --> 01:05:55,757 Will someone show these assholes the door? 1062 01:05:57,710 --> 01:06:00,494 I found my home here 1063 01:06:00,495 --> 01:06:03,373 On this porn set 1064 01:06:03,374 --> 01:06:05,861 Better hurry up or I won't stay wet 1065 01:06:25,166 --> 01:06:26,922 Fuck yeah! 1066 01:06:32,654 --> 01:06:35,851 Wow Thanks for being so cool about everything 1067 01:06:36,366 --> 01:06:37,773 I feel like I should tell you, though, 1068 01:06:37,774 --> 01:06:40,077 I don't really think this is the life for me 1069 01:06:40,078 --> 01:06:42,541 You've got balls, kid 1070 01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:44,685 very large balls 1071 01:06:44,686 --> 01:06:47,468 You show that kind of confidence in real life, 1072 01:06:47,469 --> 01:06:50,764 you're gonna be fine, just fine 1073 01:06:51,598 --> 01:06:53,132 All right, let's reset 1074 01:06:53,133 --> 01:06:55,238 Back to one 1075 01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:06,765 Dude, what happened in there after we left? 1076 01:07:06,766 --> 01:07:08,772 Yo, bro, do you know those chicks? 1077 01:07:16,941 --> 01:07:19,212 Yeah, Mike! That's what I'm talkin' about! 1078 01:07:19,213 --> 01:07:21,351 Dude, yes! 1079 01:07:25,997 --> 01:07:27,786 Whoa 1080 01:07:28,621 --> 01:07:31,404 Look, Stacy 1081 01:07:31,405 --> 01:07:33,324 I'm not sexually experienced, 1082 01:07:33,325 --> 01:07:36,903 and I'm not some famous porn star named Gigundo-cock 1083 01:07:37,869 --> 01:07:42,316 Look, I'm just some regular kid who just wants to ask out a very 1084 01:07:42,317 --> 01:07:44,901 very beautiful girl 1085 01:07:46,188 --> 01:07:48,299 Don't call past 10:00 1086 01:07:48,300 --> 01:07:50,023 My dad'll kill me 1087 01:07:53,868 --> 01:07:57,861 Screw her for me, dude! Yes! 1088 01:08:05,804 --> 01:08:08,107 Fellas, you gotta be respectful of your ladies 1089 01:08:08,108 --> 01:08:10,635 Whatever you do, don't go around your boys telling them 1090 01:08:10,636 --> 01:08:12,652 all the gruesome details 1091 01:08:12,653 --> 01:08:15,019 But me, on the other hand, I'm married with two kids, 1092 01:08:15,020 --> 01:08:16,587 I like all dirty stuff 1093 01:08:16,588 --> 01:08:19,851 This website will go directly to me, and only me 1094 01:08:19,852 --> 01:08:23,371 Send me all pictures, streaming videos, letters... 1095 01:08:23,371 --> 01:08:25,163 as bizarre as you want 1096 01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:27,435 I'll read them all, and masturbate all night 1097 01:08:27,436 --> 01:08:30,152 Thank you I'm Matthew Lillard 1098 01:08:36,652 --> 01:08:38,667 She's got that kind of booty 1099 01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,427 Little mama, come here and do me 1100 01:08:40,428 --> 01:08:42,187 She's got that kind of booty 1101 01:08:42,188 --> 01:08:43,915 The type that'll drive you looney 1102 01:08:43,916 --> 01:08:47,499 She's got that kind of booty, pack it up and bring it to me 1103 01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:50,730 Smack it up, let's make a movie, she's got that kind of booty 1104 01:08:50,731 --> 01:08:54,379 Shake that booty, cutie, up and down and all around 1105 01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:57,867 That big ol' juicy brown ass, Shorty, go to town 1106 01:08:57,868 --> 01:09:01,418 Kick it smooth like Luther Vandy, so good, like chewing candy 1107 01:09:01,419 --> 01:09:04,938 In the middle of M-I-ami, come and sit down on my jammy 1108 01:09:04,939 --> 01:09:06,506 We can do it in a big ol' bed 1109 01:09:06,507 --> 01:09:08,362 Long as you give me good ol' head 1110 01:09:08,363 --> 01:09:11,914 Yeah, girl, that's what I said, no, girl, you don't get no bread 1111 01:09:11,915 --> 01:09:13,578 She's got that kind of booty 1112 01:09:13,579 --> 01:09:15,402 Little mama, come here and do me 1113 01:09:15,403 --> 01:09:18,826 She's got that kind of booty, the type that'll drive you looney 1114 01:09:18,827 --> 01:09:20,586 She's got that kind of booty 1115 01:09:20,587 --> 01:09:22,314 Pack it up and bring it to me 1116 01:09:22,315 --> 01:09:24,105 Smack it up, let's make a movie 1117 01:09:24,106 --> 01:09:25,706 She's got that kind of booty 1118 01:09:25,707 --> 01:09:27,402 Shorty got that fat ass 1119 01:09:27,403 --> 01:09:29,130 Gets 'em harder than a math class 1120 01:09:29,131 --> 01:09:32,649 Smilin', don't you act up, just stop and back up 1121 01:09:32,650 --> 01:09:36,202 Go ahead and drop that ass low, be easy movin' that slow 1122 01:09:36,202 --> 01:09:39,817 Nobody has to know, we in the corner, though 1123 01:09:39,818 --> 01:09:43,338 You sippin' champagne, I'm drinking cognac 1124 01:09:43,339 --> 01:09:46,570 You do that damn thing, I get to bone that 1125 01:09:46,570 --> 01:09:48,457 She's got that kind of booty 1126 01:09:48,458 --> 01:09:50,249 Little mama, come here and do me 1127 01:09:50,250 --> 01:09:52,041 She's got that kind of booty 1128 01:09:52,042 --> 01:09:53,801 The type that'll drive you looney 1129 01:09:53,802 --> 01:09:55,465 She's got that kind of booty 1130 01:09:55,466 --> 01:09:57,257 Pack it up and bring it to me 1131 01:09:57,258 --> 01:09:58,953 Smack it up, let's make a movie 1132 01:09:58,954 --> 01:10:00,617 She's got that kind of booty 1133 01:10:00,618 --> 01:10:04,105 Shake that booty, sh-sh-shake, shake, shake 1134 01:10:04,106 --> 01:10:07,369 Shake that booty, sh-sh-shake, shake, shake 1135 01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:11,273 Up and down the stripper pole, got that body all swole 1136 01:10:11,274 --> 01:10:14,632 You know my package, right? You can stay the whole night 1137 01:10:14,633 --> 01:10:17,801 Lady, what you gotta do is keep me in the back of you 1138 01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:21,385 Nobody move you like I do, they call me Mr. Mac-a-do 1139 01:10:21,386 --> 01:10:24,936 They counted Tallahassee classic got 'em on my caddy 1140 01:10:24,937 --> 01:10:28,488 Girlie, let me be your daddy and we can both be happy 1141 01:10:28,489 --> 01:10:30,312 She's got that kind of booty 1142 01:10:30,313 --> 01:10:32,104 Little mama, come here and do me 1143 01:10:32,105 --> 01:10:33,865 She's got that kind of booty 1144 01:10:33,866 --> 01:10:35,656 The type that'll drive you looney 1145 01:10:35,657 --> 01:10:37,384 She's got that kind of booty 1146 01:10:37,385 --> 01:10:39,144 Pack it up and bring it to me 1147 01:10:39,145 --> 01:10:40,936 Smack it up, let's make a movie 1148 01:10:40,937 --> 01:10:43,326 She's got that kind of booty 1149 01:10:52,649 --> 01:10:57,640 My darling, the stars, they shine for you 1150 01:10:57,641 --> 01:11:02,344 My darling, the birds twitter for you 1151 01:11:02,345 --> 01:11:05,128 My darling, my heart skips a beat 1152 01:11:05,129 --> 01:11:09,220 Whenever I think of you 1153 01:11:09,673 --> 01:11:11,944 And under this moonlit sky 1154 01:11:11,945 --> 01:11:15,688 I pray and dream that I will be the one, will be the one 1155 01:11:15,689 --> 01:11:20,808 That you'll 1156 01:11:20,809 --> 01:11:25,960 Bend over and bang good and hard 1157 01:11:25,961 --> 01:11:28,488 From behind 1158 01:11:28,489 --> 01:11:33,767 Have me on all fours, howling at the sky 1159 01:11:33,768 --> 01:11:36,263 I'll give your cock a good long suck 1160 01:11:36,264 --> 01:11:38,727 Then you'll give me a good hard fuck 1161 01:11:38,728 --> 01:11:41,447 Squeeze my tits, all big and bouncy 1162 01:11:41,448 --> 01:11:43,943 Then spunk all over my body 1163 01:11:43,944 --> 01:11:47,494 I want to be your buttt-hot greasy slut 1164 01:11:47,495 --> 01:11:48,806 Greasy slut 1165 01:11:48,807 --> 01:11:52,646 Beggin' for more, for I can't get enough 1166 01:11:52,647 --> 01:11:56,711 Can't get enough 1167 01:11:56,712 --> 01:11:58,502 When I leave your tool 1168 01:11:58,503 --> 01:12:02,023 Used up, worn, and soggy 1169 01:12:02,024 --> 01:12:03,366 I won't stop then 1170 01:12:03,367 --> 01:12:05,159 Oh, no, no, no 1171 01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:11,015 I'll become your little leg-humping doggie 1172 01:12:11,015 --> 01:12:16,224 Let me be your dirty, fuckin' whore 1173 01:12:16,225 --> 01:12:20,060 Let me be your dirty, fuckin' whore