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[electricity crackling]
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Previously, on "Future Man"...
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When we use the TTD,
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we jump in time but not space.
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If we jump back, we'd still be
in the same exact place,
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just 11 seconds earlier.
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Running and jumping,
running and jumping,
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running and jumping,
extending our window
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- for as much time as we need.
- TIGER: What's gonna happen
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- to all of them?
- WOLF: Who cares?
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- They're not us!
- Down on the ground.
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You're under arrest
for violating statute HX-B34
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of the Santa Clarita County Time Code.
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[dramatic music]
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[thunder crashing]
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[foreboding music]
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♪ ♪
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[thunder crashes]
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♪ ♪
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[no audible dialogue]
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♪ ♪
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[dramatic music]
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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[buzzer sounds]
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Hello, Josh.
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I'm Susan.
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I know in your time it's a woman's name.
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In ours, it's not.
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- It's for both.
- Okay.
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Uh, hello, Susan.
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Are you my lawyer, or...
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Think you'll find a lot has changed
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in the 1,497 years since you were born.
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[ambient music]
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Whoa.
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So it's 3674...
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3491.
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You should have stayed in school.
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If you had, probably wouldn't
be staring death in the face...
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at Ultra-Max.
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"Ultra-Max"?
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- That sounds pretty bad.
- It is bad.
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It's the worst.
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Your crimes against humanity
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are some of the worst on records.
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I don't even know where to start.
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Biggest to smallest,
smallest to biggest.
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Sizes that we don't even know yet
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because they are unquantifiable.
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You have put the greatest legal minds
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of our time in a real pickle,
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and I know how much you like those.
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But everything that we did was for...
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"For a good cause"?
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Is that what you were going to say?
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[orb chirps]
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Not gonna bother asking you what this is
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because I'm 100% sure
that you don't know.
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- The Horsehead Nebula.
- Oh.
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I was gonna say the Crab Nebula.
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Your little time-traveling caper,
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repeating the same 11 seconds
over and over and over again?
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It ripped a hole
in the space-time continuum
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right here.
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This was Grazier's Triangle,
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which you destroyed along with
the 27 planets that were
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inhabited by intelligent life
in its vicinity.
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We killed a bunch of ETs?
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You killed 85 trillion ETs.
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Many of whom looked like ET.
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- Whoops.
- We're not alone
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- in the universe?
- We weren't.
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Now we are again.
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There's not even a word
for that kind of murder.
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And that's charge one.
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Meet your family, Josh.
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Every duplicate version of you,
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they didn't just conveniently die
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Many of them escaped into time,
where they proceeded
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to wreak havoc, setting off
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the greatest menhunts of all times.
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What, women weren't hunted
in this fucked-up future?
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Oh, they are, with shocking brutality.
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- Thank you.
- Case in point:
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William Wolfson,
Third Governor of New York.
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Fun fact: he killed John Jay in a duel.
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Jay must have been spoiling for a fight.
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You slept with five
of his six beloved children.
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- He slept with children?
- They were adult children.
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Well, that sixth child
of John Jay must have been
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- a real dog.
- We were on a mission to...
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to save the world.
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Most of these previous you's
felt the same way,
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and they continued to go back in time
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to right previous wrongs,
almost always ending
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in the destruction of humanity.
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This version of you tried
to stop bin Laden before 9/11.
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He ended up giving him a time machine.
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Wh... I would never do that.
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You did that, and now
time-traveling bin Laden is on you.
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He's knocking down towers
haven't even been built yet,
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so you can imagine that's
a headache for us around here.
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- [sighs]
- And now, let me tell you
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about the Topanga Triumverate.
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These you's jumped way, way,
way, way, way too far back,
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got stuck in the wall of a cave, died,
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was found by archeologists and disproved
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the entire theory of evolution.
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Am I boring you?
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I'm just noticing
that this glass is reinforced
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with carbon-fusion
electro-sealant, so it's just...
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it's not how I'm gonna be escaping.
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Oh, you won't be escaping at all.
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- Nothing leaks from Ultra-Max.
- Sure, sure.
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Next time you're in this cell
I won't be.
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Did any of the us's do any good?
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Yeah, they did good in their timelines.
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But they were also creating
other timelines.
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That's what you don't seem to get.
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Every time you went back
to fix something,
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you were creating another timeline.
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Wait, what... what's that, now?
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- No.
- Yes.
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All these timelines,
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all these different realities,
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your fault.
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And in that reality
the things that we change
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change there, but then when we left
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it just stays the same...
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- Forever.
- Forever-ever?
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Forever-ever-ever.
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So Achilles died
in that bunker even though
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we took down Stu.
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Yes, horribly.
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And the Biotics wiped out
the rest of humanity
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even though we killed Kronish?
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You've never changed anything.
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All the you's running around
thinking they're fixing things,
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they're just creating new things.
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You can kill Hitler,
but there will still be
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a Hitler, because there was a Hitler.
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Do you understand what I'm saying?
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Yeah.
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- So I killed Hitler?
- No.
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Shockingly, that is one
of the few things
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you never even tried to do.
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All Hitlers in your realities
were left unscathed.
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Four of them thrived and won the war.
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There's evidence to suggest
you helped Hitler's rise.
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So deal with that.
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- Yes.
- Who is Hitler, again?
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Hitler is just a convenient shorthand.
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This is your case file
coded to your thumbprint.
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[dramatic musical flourish]
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Here's the bottom line: The three of you
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are responsible for all the time-crimes
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all the other you's committed,
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and the punishment
for time-crimes, my friend,
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is death.
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[dramatic musical flourish]
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[electronic whirring]
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[eerie music]
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Look, Susan, this is bullshit, okay?
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There... there is no way
that I am responsible
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for what those psychopaths did.
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That's not me. I'm me.
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Bullshit?
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Try settled law.
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Robespierre versus Robespierre,
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2735.
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They found in favor
of Robespierre, overturning
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the lower court's decision
for Robespierre.
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Did you not even read your cube?
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The neural interface gave me nosebleeds.
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Look, still...
still, I cannot be punished
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for their crimes.
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There might be another way for you.
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You see, some of you
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may be...
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higher-value targets than others.
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[foreboding music]
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If you're willing to cooperate...
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you might just be able to speedboat off
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Damnation Island with your life.
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And maybe even a fresh start.
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♪ ♪
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All right, I'll be back in a bit.
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In the meantime, you got
your "smork" on backwards, kid.
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[laughs]
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[door chirps]
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Would you be surprised to know
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that is who we're really after?
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Are you surprised that I'm still here?
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Because I am.
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I notice a distinct lack
of oversized laundry carts.
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Bravo.
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There's a very easy way out of here.
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Through the front door,
onto the red carpet,
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onto the speedboat, to the holo-port
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with a very handsome parting gift.
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All you have to do
is tell me all of this
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is Futturman's fault.
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- Why?
- No one in human history
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has caused more suffering than Josh.
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Not Caligula, not Stalin, not Stu.
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Not Xarxon 9, the Destroyer of Men,
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and all he did was destroy men.
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Morning, noon and night,
just destroying them up.
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Josh is worse.
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I mean, just look at him.
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Monsters take many shapes.
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As much as I would like to live...
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00:09:02,631 --> 00:09:06,234
and believe me, Susan, I...
I'd like to live...
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but he's our mistake.
215
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He's also a grown man.
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Technically.
217
00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:16,009
Just think about it.
Tell the world the truth
218
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about Josh, and you get to go free.
219
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Him dying so you can live?
220
00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:22,514
It has a tender mercy to it.
221
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After all, he's responsible
for all of this, and...
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And he is beyond redemption.
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[tense music]
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♪ ♪
225
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You are not beyond redemption, Josh.
226
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And I know the truth.
227
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They're responsible for all of this.
228
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You know what, Susan, I know
what you're trying to do,
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and I am not rolling over on my friends.
230
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"Friends."
231
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They've done nothing
but use and abuse you.
232
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:56,479
On a good day they barely tolerate you.
233
00:09:56,545 --> 00:09:58,981
That... that's just our dynamic, okay?
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- It's fun.
- For them.
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They get... and I mean
no disrespect by this...
236
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:07,188
a hapless, boob, bitch-ass punk
as their whipping boy.
237
00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:08,990
How is that not disrespectful?
238
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It is, but I qualified it
239
00:10:11,158 --> 00:10:14,228
in an attempt to protect you, which...
240
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is more than I can say about them.
241
00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:18,932
[tense music]
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[electronic beeping, whirring]
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♪ ♪
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Yeah, okay. Pretty... pretty clever.
245
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I see what you're doing.
Classic divide-and-conquer.
246
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Well, I'll tell you something, okay?
247
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Our bond was forged
in the fires of combat,
248
00:10:44,754 --> 00:10:47,157
which is something that you
and your future race
249
00:10:47,224 --> 00:10:49,893
with your weird suits
and tufts of colorful hair
250
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could never, never understand.
251
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Here's what I understand:
252
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they're the ones with the time machine.
253
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They came from the future
and they dragged you along,
254
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ripping you from the comfort
of your masturbation chamber.
255
00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,703
You shouldn't die for them.
256
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,705
You wanna hear what they're saying?
257
00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:05,873
Because I do.
258
00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:07,442
[electronic chirp]
259
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We're the ones who put
that savior shit in his head.
260
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Let him tag along even though
I still do not know
261
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:14,548
what that guy's skill set is.
262
00:11:14,614 --> 00:11:17,351
Yeah, sure, we shoulder
some blame for making him think
263
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:19,452
he was of any use at any time.
264
00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:20,853
Come on.
265
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,289
I mean, the little guy
has got to take responsibility
266
00:11:23,356 --> 00:11:25,224
for his own actions at some point.
267
00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,060
God, that boy had some ideas.
268
00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:28,927
Oh, the whole "Time Warrior" thing?
269
00:11:28,994 --> 00:11:30,328
Are you kidding me?
270
00:11:30,395 --> 00:11:31,897
Act like you've been there
before, right?
271
00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:34,732
If we're guilty of anything
it's for being too nice.
272
00:11:34,799 --> 00:11:36,901
Well, I told you we should have shot him
273
00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:38,936
after he got us into that lab.
274
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:41,172
Ouch.
275
00:11:41,238 --> 00:11:43,540
That hurts.
276
00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:46,009
Could they be talking about anybody?
277
00:11:46,076 --> 00:11:51,814
♪ ♪
278
00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:54,184
[electronic whirring]
279
00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:04,458
Hi, Wolf.
280
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,694
Still mulling over the big decision?
281
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,497
No idea which way you're leaning?
282
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,732
[electronic whirring, chirp]
283
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,902
Nano-technology.
284
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,536
Also...
285
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,707
Gurkha Black Dragons.
286
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:24,010
Wrapper's Connecticut Broad Leaf Maduro.
287
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,178
But you know that.
288
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,080
Yeah, go ahead.
289
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,681
Yeah.
290
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,449
Binder's Cameroonian,
291
00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:33,184
filler's... [sniffs]
292
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:35,020
Five-year-aged Dominican.
293
00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:36,454
My buddy Sly smoked one of these
294
00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:37,889
in the movie "F. I. S. T."
295
00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:39,356
F-I-S-T.
296
00:12:39,423 --> 00:12:40,891
- Federation of Inter-State...
- BOTH: Truckers.
297
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:42,359
Right. It was a classic film.
298
00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:44,094
- Great.
- Anyway, they cut the scene
299
00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:45,562
because they felt it was gratuitous.
300
00:12:45,629 --> 00:12:47,597
Went on too long, sapping energy
301
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:50,866
from the plot when, uh,
they should have been...
302
00:12:50,934 --> 00:12:53,102
[sniffs, sighs]
303
00:12:53,169 --> 00:12:56,039
Building the...
304
00:12:56,105 --> 00:12:58,040
uh, tension.
305
00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:59,741
Sounds like a good cut.
306
00:13:02,544 --> 00:13:04,179
[electronic whirring]
307
00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:08,015
Okay, your parlor tricks
and your bribes are not gonna...
308
00:13:08,082 --> 00:13:11,152
oh, that is Sweet Mama Jessup.
309
00:13:11,218 --> 00:13:12,887
Sweet Mama J.
310
00:13:12,954 --> 00:13:15,321
It's not all I have, Tiger.
311
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:18,324
[curious music]
312
00:13:18,391 --> 00:13:20,360
♪ ♪
313
00:13:20,426 --> 00:13:23,429
Inside this envelope
is the story of a girl.
314
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:25,730
A girl born to Biotic parents,
315
00:13:25,797 --> 00:13:28,934
stolen from them
at an impossibly young age.
316
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:30,069
[record scratches]
317
00:13:30,135 --> 00:13:31,236
Sorry, this is a Phonola.
318
00:13:31,303 --> 00:13:33,471
I am used to a Philco.
319
00:13:33,537 --> 00:13:35,606
I didn't hear anything you said.
320
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,743
5,500 square feet, raw restaurant space.
321
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:42,013
Collins Avenue, Miami,
322
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,181
1987.
323
00:13:44,247 --> 00:13:45,348
And to make sure you get started
324
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:48,118
on the right foot:
325
00:13:48,185 --> 00:13:49,719
This.
326
00:13:49,786 --> 00:13:52,121
And this is not that weak shit
you were butt-darting
327
00:13:52,188 --> 00:13:53,289
in Los Angeles.
328
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:54,891
This is that good shit.
329
00:13:54,957 --> 00:13:57,759
That Colombian shit
that doesn't leave South Beach.
330
00:13:57,826 --> 00:14:00,795
And I got one more thing
I think you might
331
00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:01,963
be interested in.
332
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:05,033
♪ ♪
333
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,601
- This handsome fellow.
- Oh...
334
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:09,170
Pulled off a dead Josh
from the Epsilon line.
335
00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:10,670
Fully functional.
336
00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:14,474
Just begging to be reattached.
337
00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,476
In our time, penile enhancements
338
00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:18,878
take eight minutes
and are quite pleasurable.
339
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:22,048
Trust me, I've had three.
340
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:23,449
Go ahead.
341
00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:26,953
[tender music]
342
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:29,121
[sharp exhale]
343
00:14:29,187 --> 00:14:30,555
Girthier than you remember, right?
344
00:14:30,622 --> 00:14:32,124
Oh, it feels just right.
345
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:33,591
Weighs 19 1/2 pounds.
346
00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:35,460
I know.
347
00:14:35,527 --> 00:14:37,394
Oh, hello, old friend.
348
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,363
You two look very beautiful together.
349
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,332
No, no, no, I can't.
350
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:43,100
I can't. Every time I whipped it out
351
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:46,269
I'd be whipping out the memory
of a friend I betrayed.
352
00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:47,703
All right.
353
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:50,806
I'll leave you two to think about it.
354
00:14:50,874 --> 00:14:52,508
[sighs]
355
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:55,077
[foreboding music]
356
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,079
[case closes]
357
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:02,151
♪ ♪
358
00:15:02,217 --> 00:15:04,185
[electronic whirring]
359
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:08,489
♪ ♪
360
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:15,996
[electronic whirring]
361
00:15:16,063 --> 00:15:18,999
[suspenseful music]
362
00:15:19,066 --> 00:15:26,305
♪ ♪
363
00:15:33,945 --> 00:15:35,346
[sighs]
364
00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:37,582
Look, Susan...
365
00:15:37,648 --> 00:15:39,816
I've, uh, given your offer
some thought...
366
00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:41,218
Too late.
367
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:43,687
Offer's off the table.
368
00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:44,889
Okay.
369
00:15:44,955 --> 00:15:46,556
Well, that's fine,
because I was actually
370
00:15:46,623 --> 00:15:48,157
gonna say that there was
no way you can get me
371
00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:49,592
to turn on my friends.
372
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:51,327
Yep.
373
00:15:51,394 --> 00:15:52,661
I suspected that might be the case.
374
00:15:52,728 --> 00:15:55,698
Your loyalty is impressive, Josh...
375
00:15:55,764 --> 00:15:57,032
Thank you.
376
00:15:57,099 --> 00:15:59,467
But it's about to be put
to the ultimate test.
377
00:16:01,203 --> 00:16:02,737
What?
378
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:03,805
By... by who?
379
00:16:03,872 --> 00:16:05,173
What... what are you talking about?
380
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,607
Is there a judge? Is there a jury?
381
00:16:06,673 --> 00:16:08,475
Like, what the... what the fuck
is going on?
382
00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:10,044
Josh, your barbaric legal system,
383
00:16:10,111 --> 00:16:12,746
it's been replaced
by something far more elegant.
384
00:16:12,813 --> 00:16:15,081
This is skin-eating poison.
"Death Rain."
385
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:18,084
One spray kills on contact
and you, Josh,
386
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:20,686
are going to use it on Tiger
387
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:23,789
or Wolf.
388
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,224
Uh, no I'm not.
389
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,592
No way. No. [scoffs]
390
00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:29,361
Well, that's the best offer
we have to give you.
391
00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:31,096
Otherwise, all three of you die.
392
00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:32,664
And that's more elegant?
393
00:16:32,731 --> 00:16:34,532
Elegant just means "simple."
It doesn't mean "fancy."
394
00:16:34,598 --> 00:16:35,699
People think it means "fancy"...
it doesn't.
395
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:37,168
It just means "simple."
396
00:16:37,235 --> 00:16:38,870
Still wouldn't call that elegant,
397
00:16:38,937 --> 00:16:42,405
but I guess there is some kind
of cruel justice to it.
398
00:16:42,472 --> 00:16:45,075
No, no. It's not cruel, Josh.
It's a gift.
399
00:16:45,142 --> 00:16:47,744
All three of you are facing
the death penalty.
400
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:51,247
But this way, two of you get to live.
401
00:16:51,313 --> 00:16:53,749
This all seems very random.
402
00:16:53,815 --> 00:16:56,052
Tonight, you will have
your final meal together.
403
00:16:56,118 --> 00:16:59,188
When the last course arrives...
a traditional dessert salad...
404
00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:01,322
the dressing will be in these.
405
00:17:01,389 --> 00:17:02,958
Yours will have Death Rain.
406
00:17:03,024 --> 00:17:04,725
One minute after the course arrives
407
00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,594
the lights will go out,
giving you the opportunity
408
00:17:06,661 --> 00:17:10,397
to anonymously kill one
of your dear, dear friends.
409
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,798
That's future justice?
410
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,433
Choose which friend to kill?
411
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,802
That's one way of looking at it.
412
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:17,571
Another...
413
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,305
you choose which friend to save.
414
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,907
I know it's a tough choice.
415
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:23,042
Just know that if they were
given this same offer...
416
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,644
which they definitely
were not... but if they were,
417
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,246
they would kill you without hesitation.
418
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,747
So there it is.
419
00:17:29,814 --> 00:17:33,285
All three of you die,
or you save yourself...
420
00:17:33,351 --> 00:17:35,153
and one of them.
421
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,388
That's the best deal you're gonna get...
422
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:38,856
[dramatic musical flourish]
423
00:17:38,923 --> 00:17:40,591
from Ultra-Max.
424
00:17:43,727 --> 00:17:45,795
I know you're the leader of the group,
425
00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:48,764
bound by honor and integrity.
426
00:17:48,831 --> 00:17:51,101
The Tigers across all
the timelines have been
427
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,402
a force of good.
428
00:17:52,468 --> 00:17:53,903
Many have even helped us.
429
00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:56,505
Well, those other me's,
they're using you.
430
00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:58,707
You just don't know it yet.
431
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:02,444
[long inhale] Think of Josh.
432
00:18:02,511 --> 00:18:05,079
Sick with delusions of grandeur.
433
00:18:05,146 --> 00:18:07,415
Or maybe you pity him.
434
00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:08,917
Fine. Kill Wolf.
435
00:18:08,983 --> 00:18:11,052
He's a prisoner of his own appetites.
436
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,386
Sashaying selfishly through life
437
00:18:13,453 --> 00:18:15,688
with wanton disregard for anyone
438
00:18:15,755 --> 00:18:17,324
or anything that doesn't please him.
439
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:19,592
Has he ever not abandoned you?
440
00:18:19,659 --> 00:18:22,461
From where I'm standing,
the hardest choice:
441
00:18:22,528 --> 00:18:24,396
Deciding who not to kill.
442
00:18:24,463 --> 00:18:27,699
♪ ♪
443
00:18:27,766 --> 00:18:30,835
And that's why only you
can carry this out.
444
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:34,605
Trained soldier, a survivor
who sashays effortlessly
445
00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,374
through life no matter
what it throws at him.
446
00:18:36,441 --> 00:18:38,708
You're no mission commander.
You're not the Chosen One.
447
00:18:38,775 --> 00:18:42,379
You follow orders,
and you make lemonade.
448
00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:43,713
You don't deserve to die for that.
449
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:45,782
I am still in my prime.
450
00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:48,151
You're the only one
I'm making this offer to, Wolf,
451
00:18:48,217 --> 00:18:50,619
because you're the only one
452
00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:52,721
I truly believe is innocent.
453
00:18:52,788 --> 00:18:55,191
Thank you, Susan.
454
00:18:55,258 --> 00:18:56,859
Call me Sue.
455
00:18:56,925 --> 00:18:59,427
[soft laugh] Sue.
456
00:18:59,494 --> 00:19:03,866
♪ Oh, what a day ♪
457
00:19:03,932 --> 00:19:06,100
♪ ♪
458
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:08,069
- Mm.
- Mm.
459
00:19:08,135 --> 00:19:11,405
Gotta tell you guys,
I sure am gonna miss
460
00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:13,007
Texas barbecue.
461
00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:16,109
This abalone tastes like
it was caught tomorrow.
462
00:19:16,176 --> 00:19:17,677
[laughs]
463
00:19:17,743 --> 00:19:21,447
Mine's, uh... mine's cat.
464
00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:23,216
Pass the salt.
465
00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:25,317
♪ ♪
466
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:27,552
Thank you, Tiger.
467
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:30,622
I like a little extra seasoning
on my food.
468
00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:33,224
You probably didn't know that
because we don't
469
00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:34,692
know each other that well.
470
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,094
Unlike me and Tiger.
471
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,063
We've known each other our whole lives.
472
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:40,698
Thick and thin.
473
00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:45,903
Yeah, I don't really know you that well,
474
00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:50,007
which, to me, makes it
even weirder that you're always
475
00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:51,773
such a dick to me.
476
00:19:51,841 --> 00:19:54,944
What I can't figure out is...
477
00:19:55,011 --> 00:19:56,478
which one of you is meaner.
478
00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:58,214
Oh, well, that's... that's easy.
479
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,682
I mean, Wolf says mean things,
but I have an anger toward you
480
00:20:01,749 --> 00:20:03,418
that is almost primal.
481
00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:05,053
True.
482
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,889
However, when I was about to die
483
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,690
in James Cameron's lab, you did go
484
00:20:10,757 --> 00:20:12,792
rathole-to-rathole for me.
485
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:16,296
Okay, well, there goes
my appetite, so anybody want
486
00:20:16,363 --> 00:20:17,864
my kitty cubes?
487
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:19,165
Tiger, do you remember the time...
488
00:20:19,232 --> 00:20:21,000
you weren't there... we jumped out
489
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:23,236
of Count Bowncelizar's Trampolarium
490
00:20:23,302 --> 00:20:26,372
and, uh, did not think
that net was gonna hold?
491
00:20:26,439 --> 00:20:27,439
Do you remember that?
492
00:20:27,505 --> 00:20:29,241
But it did. It did.
493
00:20:29,307 --> 00:20:30,575
It held.
494
00:20:30,642 --> 00:20:32,010
Just like our bond.
495
00:20:32,077 --> 00:20:34,246
♪ ♪
496
00:20:34,312 --> 00:20:36,213
But then again, Wolf,
497
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,715
you did save me from the Smash Pit,
498
00:20:38,782 --> 00:20:41,718
and, uh, from being burned alive.
499
00:20:41,785 --> 00:20:44,654
Um, yeah, the again from, uh...
500
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,923
from Stu's kill-mandos, so...
501
00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:48,992
Wow.
502
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:52,695
That's way more
than you've done for me lately.
503
00:20:52,762 --> 00:20:54,930
Well, luckily for us
"lately" is just a blip
504
00:20:54,997 --> 00:20:56,798
in a life-long blood bond.
505
00:20:56,866 --> 00:20:58,767
Mm. Sometimes, though,
506
00:20:58,834 --> 00:21:02,004
it's the, uh... the people
closest to you
507
00:21:02,071 --> 00:21:04,638
that disappoint you the most.
508
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:07,775
♪ ♪
509
00:21:07,842 --> 00:21:10,778
[tense music]
510
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:14,547
♪ ♪
511
00:21:14,614 --> 00:21:16,216
A toast.
512
00:21:16,283 --> 00:21:18,218
Yes.
513
00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:19,519
To life.
514
00:21:19,586 --> 00:21:22,288
And death, which is inevitable,
515
00:21:22,354 --> 00:21:25,724
and sometimes comes
sooner than expected.
516
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:27,994
And sometimes it comes randomly,
517
00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:30,195
like someone flipped a coin
518
00:21:30,261 --> 00:21:32,931
because they couldn't...
couldn't decide.
519
00:21:32,998 --> 00:21:35,867
But when it does come, sometimes it's...
520
00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:38,836
well, it's for the best.
521
00:21:38,903 --> 00:21:42,506
To our inevitable fate...
522
00:21:42,572 --> 00:21:44,108
- however...
- Whenever.
523
00:21:44,174 --> 00:21:46,610
- By the hand of whomever.
- It may come.
524
00:21:46,676 --> 00:21:48,577
Uh-huh.
525
00:21:48,644 --> 00:21:55,885
♪ ♪
526
00:21:57,452 --> 00:21:59,187
[sighs]
527
00:21:59,254 --> 00:22:06,293
♪ ♪
528
00:22:09,831 --> 00:22:13,700
[dramatic musical flourish]
529
00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:15,235
Yum.
530
00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,871
Salad dessert.
531
00:22:17,938 --> 00:22:20,340
It's dessert salad.
532
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,808
You know, I always thought
this is how it would end.
533
00:22:22,876 --> 00:22:26,145
Time jail, cube salad,
a man named Susan.
534
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:30,249
I mean, I want to blame this
on the universe, but...
535
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:32,450
I think this one's on us.
536
00:22:32,516 --> 00:22:35,453
[rising tense music]
537
00:22:35,519 --> 00:22:42,459
♪ ♪
538
00:22:42,525 --> 00:22:44,027
- [spritzing]
- WOLF: So long, face!
539
00:22:44,094 --> 00:22:45,929
JOSH: [hollering] It burns!
540
00:22:45,996 --> 00:22:48,065
WOLF: Tastes like raspberry vinaigrette.
541
00:22:48,131 --> 00:22:50,732
[spritzing]
542
00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:57,573
[hopeful music]
543
00:22:57,639 --> 00:23:04,846
♪ ♪
544
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,315
[slow clapping]
545
00:23:12,186 --> 00:23:13,653
Wow.
546
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,155
That gave me goosebumps.
547
00:23:15,222 --> 00:23:17,891
That was amazing television,
and you three
548
00:23:17,957 --> 00:23:20,626
are going to make fantastic competitors
549
00:23:20,693 --> 00:23:23,329
on the centennial season
550
00:23:23,396 --> 00:23:26,331
of "The DieCathalon."
551
00:23:26,398 --> 00:23:27,732
[crowd cheering]
552
00:23:27,799 --> 00:23:29,868
Meet your three contestants:
553
00:23:29,935 --> 00:23:32,337
Tiger, the commander,
554
00:23:32,404 --> 00:23:34,639
Wolf, the survivor,
555
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,707
Josh, the lamb.
556
00:23:36,773 --> 00:23:38,475
Did he just call me "the lamb"?
557
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:41,178
What... why am I a lamb?
558
00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:42,814
They'll be running for their lives
559
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,781
and killed for sport on New Pangea's
560
00:23:45,849 --> 00:23:48,784
favorite human-hunting
reality competition.
561
00:23:48,852 --> 00:23:50,854
I hate the future.
562
00:23:50,921 --> 00:23:52,788
Sponsored by Ultra-Max.
563
00:23:52,856 --> 00:23:55,324
Ultra-Max: The bulk-free blood diaper
564
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,326
you never have to remove.
565
00:23:57,392 --> 00:23:59,228
Back after this.
566
00:23:59,294 --> 00:24:02,430
[The Sweet's "Fox on the Run" playing]
567
00:24:02,496 --> 00:24:09,370
♪ ♪
568
00:24:14,696 --> 00:24:19,512
♪ I don't want to know your name ♪
569
00:24:19,579 --> 00:24:23,282
♪ 'Cause you don't look the same ♪
570
00:24:23,349 --> 00:24:28,620
♪ The way you did before ♪
571
00:24:28,687 --> 00:24:31,122
♪ Fox on the run ♪
572
00:24:31,189 --> 00:24:37,060
♪ You scream and everybody
comes a-running ♪
573
00:24:37,122 --> 00:24:42,628
♪ Take a run and hide yourself away ♪
574
00:24:42,683 --> 00:24:46,878
♪ Foxy on the run ♪
575
00:24:46,941 --> 00:24:48,238
♪ F-foxy ♪
576
00:24:48,276 --> 00:24:55,043
♪ Fox on the run and hideaway ♪
577
00:24:55,104 --> 00:25:02,344
♪ ♪
578
00:25:02,368 --> 00:25:07,368
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com