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You've probably heard
many stories that begin:
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"A long, long time ago,
in a land far away."
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This one does as well.
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But I assure you, this is a story
you have never heard before.
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It's the story of a boy named Fred.
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And it begins right here.
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It's time.
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You must push, dear.
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- Aah! Aah!
- That's it.
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That's it. One more time,
come on. Yes.
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What's wrong?
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It's the fattest baby I've ever seen.
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Oh.
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Good Lord.
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Why does he not cry?
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- Ho.
- Ho.
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What did he say?
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Ho, ho.
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He's perfect in every way.
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What shall we name him?
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My father was called Nicholas.
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Yes.
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Nicholas Claus.
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My Saint Nicholas.
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Frederick.
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Would you like to come
and meet your brother?
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Come along now.
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Fred loved Nicholas
from the first moment he met him.
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In fact, that day,
he made him a promise.
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I promise to be the best big brother
in the whole world, Nicholas.
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Ho.
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But Fred's promise is just
the beginning of his story.
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You see, sometimes it's easier
to make a promise...
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...than it is to keep one.
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Time to cut the cake.
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Here you go, Nicholas.
I made this for you.
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Happy birthday.
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I thank you, Frederick.
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That was very nice, Frederick.
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Nicholas, where are you going?
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There's a poor orphan named Henry
who lives down the road.
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I'm bringing all my gifts to him.
He needs them more than I.
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That's lovely.
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Do you really think Henry needs a journal
with the name "Nicholas" on the cover?
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Frederick, it's a saintly thing he does.
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My little Saint Nicholas.
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And so it went for Fred.
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Every time he managed
to make his parents proud...
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Frederick, don't you look nice.
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...Nicholas managed to make...
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...his parents prouder.
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The door was locked, so I decided
to drop down the chimney. What fun.
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Ha-ha. Oh, Nicholas.
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If the door was locked,
why didn't you just knock?
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Because he's inventive.
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I made the outfit myself, Mother.
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I wouldn't go telling people that.
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Really, Frederick, why can't you
be more like your brother?
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I don't wish to hate him.
He means well.
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And I promised to be the best
big brother in the world.
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You're the only one
who understands me, Chirp-Chirp.
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Frederick. I noticed how much
you liked the tree...
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...so now we're gonna bring it inside
the house and put presents under it.
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Isn't that wonderful?
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Chirp-Chirp never returned.
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Frederick?
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Our poor Fred.
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Is this for me?
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That tree was the last straw.
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He began to resent his brother,
his parents...
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...and even his life.
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Nicholas, why don't you
open yours first?
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Oh!
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Spin it. Spin it.
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00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:43,558
And like many unhappy children...
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00:05:43,724 --> 00:05:45,518
Why don't you open yours?
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...he became angry.
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Naughty, even.
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I wonder what it is.
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What's the matter, Nicholas?
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Nothing.
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But while Fred grew worse...
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00:06:07,081 --> 00:06:10,209
...Nicholas grew more generous,
and eventually...
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...he fulfilled his mother's prophecy.
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00:06:12,795 --> 00:06:17,300
In manhood,
he literally became a saint.
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00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:21,304
Now, it's a little-known rule of sainthood,
but when you become a saint...
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...you freeze in time, eternally ageless.
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The rule applies to the family
of the saint and the spouses, as well.
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00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:34,817
Now, you probably already have your
suspicions of what became of Saint Nick.
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The world grew to know
and love him as Santa Claus.
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But as I told you before,
this is a story about Fred.
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And the next part of Fred's story
occurs in a time and place...
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...that might be a little more
familiar to you.
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Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Everybody loves Christmas!
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00:06:59,884 --> 00:07:03,971
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Everybody loves Christmas!
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00:07:04,138 --> 00:07:08,100
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Everybody loves Christmas!
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00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:10,311
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
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00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:12,605
- Everybody loves Christmas!
- Ow!
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00:07:12,772 --> 00:07:15,608
You can't take my television.
I watch that in bed.
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00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:16,859
Are you nuts?
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00:07:17,026 --> 00:07:20,196
You can't just run up and kick
someone like that. How old are you?
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- Nine.
- Nine?
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And you have a 55-inch
Plasma TV in your room?
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00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,535
Santa got it for me
for Christmas last year.
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The guy in the red suit's
not looking out for your future.
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You're gonna get hooked on that.
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I can see it now.
Sixteen thousand bags of Cheetos later...
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00:07:33,918 --> 00:07:37,380
...you'll wake up, you're 35, crying
about your life in front of the soaps.
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00:07:37,546 --> 00:07:40,716
I did you a favor. You get outside,
play around, make some friends.
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Play kick the can,
do some athletic stuff.
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Go to school,
you're comfortable to play sports.
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Do you have any ethnic in your background?
Any ethnicity in your background?
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I bet you do, it's America.
You know what I mean?
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Put it on the application for college.
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All of a sudden, you get a little
extra money. Uncle Sam's none the wiser.
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You take that extra money,
you buy a motorcycle.
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Maybe you meet a guy at school.
Then you'll get pregnant with child.
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It works outwith the guy,
doesn't work out, who cares?
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You're blessed to have
a kid in your life.
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You'll be athletic. You're gonna
be a moderate-to-lukewarm student.
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And you're gonna have a child
before you graduate college.
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Who are you gonna have to thank?
Not the guy in the red suit.
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But your pal, Fred.
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Ugh!
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Sometimes it hurts to grow.
Hey, guy, you got a girl that kicks.
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Is that from you or is that because
you use the TV as a babysitter?
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Don't pay your bills again. Next time
I'll come and take your wife from you.
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Plasma goes to my place. Pack it
separately, make sure it doesn't scratch.
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Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Everybody loves--
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Catch it, catch it, catch it one time.
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Come on, come on, come on,
just a little bit.
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That's it, just easy, easy. Damn it.
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- You mind changing the station for me, pal?
- It's your buck, buddy.
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Can you change that again, please?
135
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Come on, I like that one.
That's a good one.
136
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Can you pull over, please?
137
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,997
- Come on, we're still 15 blocks from the--
- Just pull the cab over, please.
138
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Wanda, you have never been
more attractive to me.
139
00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:46,509
Freddie, I'm mad at you.
No, I'm seriously mad at you.
140
00:09:46,842 --> 00:09:48,928
Two whole days, you don't call me.
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I try and have a conversation
with you about our moving in together...
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00:09:53,432 --> 00:09:57,144
- ...and then you just disappear.
- Sweetheart, I did not just disappear.
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I found myself in a business
opportunity with a sheik. From India.
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00:10:01,357 --> 00:10:03,234
A sh-- There aren't any sheiks in India.
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00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,195
Don't tell that to this guy.
I had to go on a yoga retreat.
146
00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:10,366
But to be honest with you,
my chi...really strong right now.
147
00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:12,701
Freddie, do you know what tomorrow is?
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- Tomorrow?
- Yeah.
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00:10:14,411 --> 00:10:16,080
Yeah, I know what tomorrow is.
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00:10:16,247 --> 00:10:18,207
- What is it?
- Tomorrow is tomorrow.
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00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:23,337
And today is today, and we shouldn't
be wasting it arguing with each other.
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00:10:23,504 --> 00:10:28,300
No, Freddie, apart from that, all right.
What is the significance of tomorrow?
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00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:32,179
What you're referring to in this
conversation is the day after today?
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- Yes.
- You're asking me--
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What I'm trying to say is that
when it gets to midnight...
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...and then it's one minute past midnight,
tomorrow begins and then it is my birthday.
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00:10:41,897 --> 00:10:43,357
- That?
- Oh, no.
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I know that. The birthday thing,
that I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:50,030
Don't try and pretend
you knew it was my birthday...
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...because I know you. You didn't know.
161
00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:54,160
- I do know it's your birthday.
- You forgot.
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00:10:54,326 --> 00:10:57,580
I have a surprise planned for you
for your birthday, but you ruined it.
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00:10:57,746 --> 00:11:00,875
That's what I need, surprises.
Remember our three-year anniversary?
164
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:04,295
You told me to brush up on French,
you drop hints about the Eiffel Tower...
165
00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:07,256
...and then you took me gambling
on a riverboat in Indiana.
166
00:11:07,423 --> 00:11:09,550
The French thing was
to get you off the scent.
167
00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:12,761
The thing about it was that
I bought those French books on tape.
168
00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:14,346
I studied for three weeks.
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00:11:14,513 --> 00:11:16,932
That French is yours, that's a part of you,
no one can take that away.
170
00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:22,521
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
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00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:24,732
I just can't stay mad at you.
172
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:27,776
Freddie, will you tell me
about the surprise?
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00:11:27,943 --> 00:11:30,237
If I tell you, it would
no longer be a surprise.
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I know, I know, but...
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Yeah, you're right.
You shouldn't tell me, then.
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You know what?
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00:11:41,123 --> 00:11:43,792
I'm gonna tell you about the surprise.
It's not a surprise.
178
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,420
You already know what it is,
so it's not a surprise.
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00:11:46,587 --> 00:11:49,965
So this time, on this specific occasion,
I'll let you know what it is.
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00:11:50,382 --> 00:11:51,508
- It's a dinner.
- Yeah.
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00:11:51,675 --> 00:11:55,888
At, uh, a pretty exciting
new hot spot here in town called...
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...Bonsai Palace.
183
00:11:58,682 --> 00:12:03,270
Oh, that sounds familiar,
Bons-- Bonsai Palace.
184
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:05,648
- Yeah.
- Hmm. You're not making this up?
185
00:12:05,814 --> 00:12:09,109
If we go to Bonsai Palace,
it's gonna exist? It's gonna be there?
186
00:12:09,276 --> 00:12:13,405
Absolutely, it's a hot spot.
Think romance, and think getting lost.
187
00:12:14,865 --> 00:12:15,866
Charlie Brown...
188
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:20,329
...you're the only person I know who can
take a wonderful season like Christmas...
189
00:12:20,496 --> 00:12:21,997
...and turn it into a problem.
190
00:12:22,164 --> 00:12:24,667
Maybe Lucy's right.
Of all the Charlie Browns...
191
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:25,834
My man, Fred.
192
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,795
Don't come in bouncing off the walls.
193
00:12:27,962 --> 00:12:31,382
If you can come in here, relaxed,
and be a gentleman, then you can come in.
194
00:12:31,548 --> 00:12:33,550
- Can you do that? You want some milk?
- Yeah.
195
00:12:33,717 --> 00:12:35,970
Okay. Don't be playing
with the channels...
196
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,639
...and putting on videos
and dancing, it's exhausting.
197
00:12:38,806 --> 00:12:40,307
Okay.
198
00:12:40,474 --> 00:12:42,643
Do you gotta go over the couch?
With the feet.
199
00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:44,645
The feet are dirty, the couch is clean.
200
00:12:44,812 --> 00:12:46,689
- You put the feet off the thing.
- Oh. My bad.
201
00:12:46,855 --> 00:12:49,358
- Do you want the milk?
- Yeah, go get that milk.
202
00:12:49,692 --> 00:12:54,029
Yo, Fred. I asked Santa for a puppy
this year. I'm gonna name him Macaroni.
203
00:12:54,196 --> 00:12:57,866
But I don't know how Santa's gonna know
where to bring me my gifts this year...
204
00:12:58,033 --> 00:12:59,868
...because I don't know where I'll be.
205
00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:02,705
Because you know how sometimes,
if my grandma's sick...
206
00:13:02,871 --> 00:13:04,957
...I end up staying over at my aunt's.
207
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:08,127
Most of the time, we just end up
staying over at her boyfriend's.
208
00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:10,379
What you think, Fred?
Think Santa'll find me?
209
00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:13,048
- Slam, have you ever thought about Santa?
- Not really.
210
00:13:13,215 --> 00:13:16,719
The guy's in a big red suit flying around
because he craves the spotlight.
211
00:13:16,885 --> 00:13:19,054
He's a fame junkie. The guy's a clown.
212
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:21,390
He's a megalomaniac.
It's all a big shell game.
213
00:13:21,557 --> 00:13:23,934
He presents himself like,
"Look at me, I'm so nice."
214
00:13:24,101 --> 00:13:26,520
He's getting paid.
He's got a whole thing happening.
215
00:13:26,687 --> 00:13:29,398
Know they sell more Santa statues
along with trinkets...
216
00:13:29,565 --> 00:13:30,899
...than they do of Buddha?
217
00:13:31,066 --> 00:13:34,236
Oh, the big fat dude that be
in the nail salon? He be like, "mm."
218
00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:37,740
Don't be a cheerleader for Santa Claus.
Think about it, watch the angles.
219
00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:39,158
Don't drink the Kool-Aid.
220
00:13:39,325 --> 00:13:41,535
- I like Kool-Aid.
- Don't drink this Kool-Aid.
221
00:13:41,702 --> 00:13:43,412
You not gonna ask Santa
for nothing, huh?
222
00:13:43,662 --> 00:13:47,750
Slam, I get what I want without charity from
Santa Claus. Two hands on the milk, please.
223
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,169
- Two hands.
- Two hands if you're gonna drink.
224
00:13:50,336 --> 00:13:53,422
I'm about to step into a lucrative
business situation right now.
225
00:13:53,589 --> 00:13:55,132
I'm working. I'm creating assets.
226
00:13:55,299 --> 00:13:57,092
You know? I'm starting a new business.
227
00:13:57,259 --> 00:13:58,927
- A ass what?
- Assets.
228
00:13:59,094 --> 00:14:01,430
- What that mean?
- Get your mind out of the gutter.
229
00:14:02,264 --> 00:14:04,183
Please, Leon, it's gotta be the spot.
230
00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:06,727
You gotta come up
with the full 50,000 by the 20th.
231
00:14:06,894 --> 00:14:09,730
The only way I can hold it.
People are breathing down my neck.
232
00:14:09,897 --> 00:14:13,609
I got the money. Maybe we're
not underst-- I got the money.
233
00:14:13,776 --> 00:14:16,528
It's not about the money.
It's liquidating the money.
234
00:14:16,695 --> 00:14:20,908
I have to get the money in a liquid
situation so that I can pour it.
235
00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:23,744
Listen, what's the largest
growth industry in America?
236
00:14:23,911 --> 00:14:25,287
It's gambling, right?
237
00:14:25,454 --> 00:14:28,415
This space we're standing in
right now, in three months' time...
238
00:14:28,582 --> 00:14:30,709
...will be the most-trafficked
OTB in the city.
239
00:14:30,876 --> 00:14:33,712
We're across the street from
the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.
240
00:14:33,962 --> 00:14:37,508
So every day when the market closes
and the day traders hit the streets...
241
00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:41,804
...this is where they're gonna come, Leon.
It means everything to me. Please.
242
00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:44,431
Listen, I don't wanna hear
no futzing from you, pal.
243
00:14:44,598 --> 00:14:46,475
I need it by the 22nd.
The best I can do.
244
00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:49,269
Whatever. It's gonna be fi--
We're gonna work it out.
245
00:14:49,436 --> 00:14:52,064
- I wanna hear you say the 22nd.
- It's gonna be perfect.
246
00:14:52,231 --> 00:14:54,983
- 22nd is perfect.
- Likely the 22nd, or the 23rd, either way.
247
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:58,153
22nd and that's it. That's the best
I can do. And that's it.
248
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,905
No more. Icky, but done.
249
00:15:00,072 --> 00:15:03,450
- But if it's the 23rd--
- Ah. Done.
250
00:15:03,617 --> 00:15:04,993
- Twenty-second.
- Two-two.
251
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:13,001
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
252
00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:15,504
Thank you. Ho, ho, ho, ho.
253
00:15:15,671 --> 00:15:17,506
Merry Christmas!
254
00:15:17,881 --> 00:15:19,133
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
255
00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:22,428
Step up for everyone's favorite charity,
People Help the People.
256
00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:25,347
Hey there, give me a hug.
You gorgeous leopard. Meow.
257
00:15:25,514 --> 00:15:27,349
Who's the queen
of the jungle? You are.
258
00:15:27,516 --> 00:15:30,811
Let me see what we got. Oh, I like it.
Come on, I like how you do it.
259
00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:33,188
Rock me with some paper. Dig deeper.
260
00:15:33,355 --> 00:15:35,315
And another 20.
Let me see what you got.
261
00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:38,527
I'll take both of them. Whatever.
Merry Christmas to you.
262
00:15:38,694 --> 00:15:39,695
Hey, lady.
263
00:15:39,862 --> 00:15:43,031
If you want salvation, no army can
give it to you, only people can.
264
00:15:43,198 --> 00:15:46,160
Bring your action down here.
That's it. Give me that action.
265
00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:49,746
- We only help the people out.
- What do you think you're doing?
266
00:15:49,913 --> 00:15:53,167
Just give me a second. I'll deal with you
in a minute. Don't crowd my action.
267
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,377
Then help some of these
people out this year.
268
00:15:55,544 --> 00:15:58,380
Merry Christmas. You're beautiful, great.
Get out of here.
269
00:15:58,547 --> 00:16:01,508
I don't see your permit.
You need a permit to work this street.
270
00:16:01,675 --> 00:16:04,470
Okay. I don't answer to you, buddy.
I answer to the people.
271
00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:08,056
- Mind your own business, please.
- The Salvation Army is my business.
272
00:16:08,223 --> 00:16:10,684
- What's going on?
- This guy's working without papers.
273
00:16:10,851 --> 00:16:14,396
- And he's bashing the Salvation Army.
- I'm not bashing the Salvation Army.
274
00:16:14,563 --> 00:16:18,275
I never bashed anything. That wasn't
bashing anybody. Don't make up lies.
275
00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:19,860
Show me your papers, clown.
276
00:16:20,027 --> 00:16:22,070
Papers? What are you from, the 1950s?
277
00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:25,574
Look up People Help the People
on the Internet, you'll see a picture.
278
00:16:25,741 --> 00:16:27,618
Why don't you step
into the 21st century?
279
00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:28,994
Right. Call the cops, man.
280
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:30,913
You got a cop right there.
281
00:16:31,079 --> 00:16:32,706
- Where?
- Right over there.
282
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:36,335
Stop, thief!
283
00:16:37,252 --> 00:16:39,087
Somebody call the cops!
284
00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:41,882
- Cut him off!
- He's an impostor!
285
00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:44,927
Take his legs out!
286
00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:50,724
- Come on! Help us out!
- Get him!
287
00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:05,739
Get out of the way!
288
00:17:29,763 --> 00:17:31,139
We got him!
289
00:17:33,308 --> 00:17:35,435
- You guys got him!
- Come on! Come on!
290
00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:37,437
Let's dance. Let's dance!
291
00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:39,147
Come on, he can't take us all!
292
00:17:39,648 --> 00:17:43,151
Only one man's gonna walk away
from this thing, and I promise you...
293
00:17:43,318 --> 00:17:47,322
...it'll be the lightning quick dude with
the big yellow things in his hands. Dig it?
294
00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:00,210
Nice hat, Santa.
295
00:18:00,377 --> 00:18:01,920
Wanda, are you there?
296
00:18:02,087 --> 00:18:04,172
Can you hear me? It's Fred calling.
297
00:18:04,339 --> 00:18:07,509
Kind of important you pick up right now.
Are you at the restaurant?
298
00:18:27,237 --> 00:18:30,198
Give a call when you get a chance,
as soon as possible. Okay?
299
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:33,118
Hopefully, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
300
00:18:34,953 --> 00:18:38,665
Yeah, she's, uh, not picking up
the phone, so, uh...
301
00:18:38,832 --> 00:18:42,502
What the hell, it's Christmas.
Go ahead, make another call.
302
00:18:47,341 --> 00:18:48,884
Oh, boy.
303
00:18:50,218 --> 00:18:54,973
No, there's not even a hint of gray left.
It's gone totally white. Mm.
304
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:57,392
Honey, you think I'd look
silly if I dyed it?
305
00:18:57,559 --> 00:19:00,395
You have a nice
full head of hair, honey.
306
00:19:00,562 --> 00:19:03,065
It's white, though. Prematurely white.
307
00:19:03,231 --> 00:19:06,526
Oh, Nick. You carry the weight
of the world on your shoulders.
308
00:19:06,693 --> 00:19:08,320
I am not stressed out.
309
00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:12,240
I just got a lot on my mind is all.
310
00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:14,284
- Oh.
- You seem upset.
311
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:18,080
Sweetie, we're 2 percent behind
our delivery quota of last year.
312
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:20,374
And last year, we barely made it.
Want cookie.
313
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:22,918
Sweetie, you cannot keep
eating your stress away.
314
00:19:23,085 --> 00:19:25,754
I mean, it's a bit odd that
they're checking up on me now.
315
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:29,216
Uh, I mean, they've never sent
an efficiency expert before. Why now?
316
00:19:32,761 --> 00:19:34,471
Ho,ho,ho.
317
00:19:34,638 --> 00:19:36,181
- Nick?
- Fred.
318
00:19:36,348 --> 00:19:39,059
- Oh, Nick.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha. How's things there, Fred?
319
00:19:39,226 --> 00:19:42,229
God, it's good hearing your voice.
How've things been with you?
320
00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:45,524
Oh, well, fine, fine.
You know, business is crazy...
321
00:19:45,691 --> 00:19:48,485
...but, uh, we're swell, we're swell.
How are you, huh?
322
00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:50,946
That's great.
I'm really happy for you, Nick.
323
00:19:51,113 --> 00:19:53,448
The Christmas thing is taking off.
That's awesome.
324
00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:55,033
Yeah, it's catching on. Yeah.
325
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,203
So, what's up, Fred?
Is there anything I can do for you?
326
00:19:58,370 --> 00:20:00,580
Well, if you really wanted
to send me a gift...
327
00:20:00,747 --> 00:20:03,083
...uh, I guess it would be okay
if you sent, uh...
328
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:06,712
...$5000 to the police station
in Michigan Avenue in my name.
329
00:20:06,878 --> 00:20:08,630
Five thousand dollars?
330
00:20:08,797 --> 00:20:11,133
I'm fine, by the way.
I don't-- I'm fine.
331
00:20:11,299 --> 00:20:14,094
- I'm okay, but so you know, I--
- Hold on a second, Fred.
332
00:20:14,261 --> 00:20:16,138
I don't know what this is about...
333
00:20:16,304 --> 00:20:19,683
- ...but I know it can't be good.
- It sounds like he's in a tough spot.
334
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,643
If you wanna do something for him...
335
00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:26,148
...I know it's hard, but you need
to practice tough love, honey.
336
00:20:26,314 --> 00:20:28,233
- I'm a saint, sweetheart.
- Tough love.
337
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,277
Tough love's a little difficult for me.
338
00:20:30,444 --> 00:20:32,612
Try for me, baby.
339
00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,074
- Hey, Fred?
- Hey.
340
00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:39,786
So 5 grand,
Michigan Avenue Police Station...
341
00:20:40,078 --> 00:20:41,288
...done.
342
00:20:41,496 --> 00:20:45,083
- Merry Christmas, Fred.
- Nick, that is-- I really appreciate it, man.
343
00:20:47,586 --> 00:20:50,630
You know what?
I'm gonna give you a gift this year.
344
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:53,550
Yeah, I am, Nick. I'm gonna give you
$10,000 for Christmas.
345
00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:55,844
Merry Christmas. Okay, how's that feel?
346
00:20:57,929 --> 00:21:01,516
That's-- I don't understand, though.
I'm giving you 5, Fred, so...
347
00:21:01,683 --> 00:21:03,769
You gotta be open
to someone trying to give...
348
00:21:03,935 --> 00:21:06,438
...because it feels good
for other people to give.
349
00:21:06,605 --> 00:21:09,107
Go ahead, just send me $50,000
on top of the 5, okay?
350
00:21:09,274 --> 00:21:11,985
Then hold your breath, let me go
and blow that up into 60.
351
00:21:12,152 --> 00:21:16,198
Then I'm gonna give you $10,000 off the
top of that with the original $50,000 back...
352
00:21:16,364 --> 00:21:18,825
...so that way I gave you
$10,000, you gave me $5000.
353
00:21:18,992 --> 00:21:21,161
I gave you $5000. Merry Christmas.
354
00:21:21,328 --> 00:21:25,165
Wait, wait, wait a second, Fred.
355
00:21:25,332 --> 00:21:28,335
- Fifty thousand dollars on top of the 5?
- What? What?
356
00:21:28,502 --> 00:21:31,379
That's just icing on the cake.
I have a deal going on.
357
00:21:31,546 --> 00:21:34,007
Nick, do me a favor,
don't make this complicated.
358
00:21:34,174 --> 00:21:37,886
I'm in the spirit. Let one brother give
another brother a gift for Christmas.
359
00:21:38,053 --> 00:21:39,721
I feel great about it.
Let me feel good?
360
00:21:39,888 --> 00:21:41,097
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Please.
361
00:21:41,264 --> 00:21:42,849
All right. All right, all right.
362
00:21:43,016 --> 00:21:45,060
Fred, fine. Look, I'll tell you what...
363
00:21:45,602 --> 00:21:49,022
- ...I will pay the 5000 for your bail, okay?
- Uh-huh.
364
00:21:49,189 --> 00:21:53,902
But if you want the rest of this, then
you're just gonna have to come up here.
365
00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:57,364
- No!
- Yes, you earn that money.
366
00:21:57,531 --> 00:22:00,659
I don't think that's a good idea,
me and you to be with each other.
367
00:22:00,826 --> 00:22:03,870
You know something?
You've never come up here to visit.
368
00:22:04,037 --> 00:22:05,247
Not even once.
369
00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:16,091
What is it exactly--?
What would I need to be doing up there?
370
00:22:16,258 --> 00:22:19,344
Uh, shave a few reindeer,
sprinkle the doodads on the cookies...
371
00:22:19,511 --> 00:22:22,764
...put the stars up where the little
guys can't reach them. It's easy.
372
00:22:23,265 --> 00:22:26,893
I'd have to have a hard out by the 22nd.
That's when I have my deal happening.
373
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:29,563
Okay. Twenty-second.
374
00:22:29,729 --> 00:22:32,816
This isn't about me coming up,
then you having Mom ambush me--
375
00:22:32,983 --> 00:22:35,902
Come on. I'm not gonna go running to Mom.
376
00:22:36,736 --> 00:22:40,365
I have no idea why you won't send 50
so I can blow it into 60 and give you 10.
377
00:22:40,532 --> 00:22:45,996
I'm sorry. I'm gonna practice
tough love on you, buddy. All right?
378
00:22:46,162 --> 00:22:47,622
And I'm telling you right now...
379
00:22:47,789 --> 00:22:52,711
...if you do not agree, then I am sorry,
but I cannot pay your bail.
380
00:22:55,463 --> 00:22:58,133
Wanda, can you buzz me in? It's Fred.
381
00:22:58,300 --> 00:22:59,968
Hey, sweetheart, I know you're home!
382
00:23:00,635 --> 00:23:03,054
Freddie, go home.
I don't wanna talk to you. Go home.
383
00:23:03,221 --> 00:23:06,683
Okay, Wanda, I just wanted to get
a chance to come by and explain.
384
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:10,854
Oh, explain? You wanna explain to me
my romantic surprise birthday dinner?
385
00:23:11,021 --> 00:23:13,857
I was working for the
People Help People charity organization.
386
00:23:14,024 --> 00:23:16,192
- Oh, I can't...
- I was chased by 30 Santa Clauses.
387
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,778
Shut up down there.
People are trying to sleep.
388
00:23:18,945 --> 00:23:22,324
- I'm telling you the truth.
- She doesn't believe you, pal. So get lost.
389
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:26,494
Hey, Jerry Garcia, I'm having a talk
with someone who I-- You're the worst.
390
00:23:26,661 --> 00:23:29,414
Fred, will you go home right this minute.
391
00:23:29,581 --> 00:23:33,335
Wanda, there's this unfortunate business
situation I have to leave for tonight.
392
00:23:33,501 --> 00:23:34,669
You what?
393
00:23:34,836 --> 00:23:38,048
Look, this is a business situation
that I'm in with my brother.
394
00:23:38,214 --> 00:23:41,259
When we first met, I said,
"Have you got a brother or a sister?"
395
00:23:41,426 --> 00:23:43,136
And you said, "No, Wanda, I don't."
396
00:23:43,303 --> 00:23:45,764
I have a bro--
I have the same mother and father...
397
00:23:45,931 --> 00:23:49,434
...but I never felt like I had a brother.
The courts would tell me I would.
398
00:23:49,601 --> 00:23:52,270
- No, listen to me--
- I am through with this relationship.
399
00:23:52,437 --> 00:23:54,856
- I'm not through with this.
- I can't take it anymore.
400
00:23:55,023 --> 00:23:56,524
- I can't take it.
- I can take it.
401
00:23:56,691 --> 00:23:59,027
Shh. Freddie, I think I'm
gonna go back to London.
402
00:23:59,194 --> 00:24:01,696
So good luck with your brother,
if he even exists.
403
00:24:01,863 --> 00:24:05,492
- Good luck. I can't take it.
- It'll rain in London, you won't be happy--
404
00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:07,494
Wanda.
405
00:24:09,621 --> 00:24:11,164
Fred, I need you.
406
00:24:11,331 --> 00:24:13,708
- Not now, I'm in a hurry.
- Pretend to be my father.
407
00:24:14,334 --> 00:24:16,586
- What are you talking about?
- He's in here.
408
00:24:20,715 --> 00:24:23,635
- Who are you?
- I'm the boy's father. Who are you?
409
00:24:23,969 --> 00:24:27,973
We're with Child Services, sir. We're here
to remove this minor from an unfit home.
410
00:24:28,306 --> 00:24:31,393
According to our records,
his father passed away a year ago.
411
00:24:33,687 --> 00:24:35,563
I thought you said that your dad was...
412
00:24:37,399 --> 00:24:39,234
All right, come here a second.
413
00:24:40,777 --> 00:24:42,988
You can't count on anyone, Slam.
414
00:24:43,571 --> 00:24:46,074
You gotta always look out for yourself.
415
00:24:47,242 --> 00:24:48,868
And you know how to do that, right?
416
00:24:50,286 --> 00:24:51,538
Yeah.
417
00:24:59,504 --> 00:25:00,839
Let's get something straight.
418
00:25:01,006 --> 00:25:04,551
If you're waiting for me to sing "The Sun
Will Come Out Tomorrow" on the way...
419
00:25:04,718 --> 00:25:08,054
...you're wasting your time. Let's go.
420
00:25:38,668 --> 00:25:40,378
Are you Fred?
421
00:25:40,545 --> 00:25:41,755
Yeah.
422
00:25:51,306 --> 00:25:53,141
Can I see some identification, please?
423
00:26:05,779 --> 00:26:08,990
Well, nice to meet you, Fred.
My name is Willie. I'm Santa's head elf.
424
00:26:09,157 --> 00:26:10,492
I wouldn't have known that.
425
00:26:11,826 --> 00:26:14,496
So just the one bag?
Just the one canyon? I'll get it.
426
00:26:14,662 --> 00:26:16,331
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
427
00:26:18,083 --> 00:26:22,337
- Okay, I'll help you get--
- No, no. I got it. I got it. Okay.
428
00:26:24,756 --> 00:26:28,259
- I'll just grab this here. That's okay.
- Oh. I c0uld've gotten it.
429
00:26:28,426 --> 00:26:31,346
If I had one more little shot at it,
I would've been just fine.
430
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:46,694
Come on.
431
00:26:55,787 --> 00:26:58,123
So listen, I'm not so big
on all this flying--
432
00:26:58,373 --> 00:26:59,707
Ho!
433
00:27:04,546 --> 00:27:05,880
Whoa, okay.
434
00:27:25,066 --> 00:27:27,152
We'll start our descent to the North Pole.
435
00:27:27,318 --> 00:27:30,238
We know you don't have an option
traveling to the North Pole...
436
00:27:30,405 --> 00:27:33,783
...but we appreciate your business,
and I really enjoyed the conversation.
437
00:27:33,950 --> 00:27:35,577
Okay, is this gonna be a steep--?
438
00:28:05,148 --> 00:28:07,442
Really? The hockey stop?
439
00:28:07,609 --> 00:28:10,612
Yeah, there's a passenger back here,
in case you didn't remember.
440
00:28:10,778 --> 00:28:12,655
Oh, sorry. Least you didn't throw up.
441
00:28:36,137 --> 00:28:39,224
Watch your step there.
Well, here it is.
442
00:28:40,099 --> 00:28:42,185
Main Street, North Pole.
443
00:28:42,352 --> 00:28:44,479
Pretty, isn't it?
444
00:28:44,646 --> 00:28:45,897
Workshop's behind you.
445
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,576
Mr. Claus? Hi. Hello. Welcome to the
North Pole. It's so nice to have you here.
446
00:28:58,743 --> 00:29:00,161
I'm Santa's Little Helper.
447
00:29:00,328 --> 00:29:03,331
I am sorry to rush you, but we
have to keep Santa on schedule...
448
00:29:03,498 --> 00:29:07,669
...because we are 439 hours, 22 minutes,
and 3 seconds until C-Day.
449
00:29:08,002 --> 00:29:10,546
Charlene's as good with numbers
as she is beautiful.
450
00:29:11,714 --> 00:29:14,300
Oh, thank you. Thank you, um...
451
00:29:15,468 --> 00:29:17,178
- Willie.
- Willie.
452
00:29:17,887 --> 00:29:19,764
Thank you, Willie.
453
00:29:25,436 --> 00:29:27,272
So I'm expecting Santa in 26 seconds.
454
00:29:29,065 --> 00:29:32,610
Big Red is entering Zone One.
I repeat, Big Red is entering Zone One.
455
00:29:34,988 --> 00:29:36,906
- Allergies.
- He's got a gun.
456
00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:44,664
- Ow!
- Oh, no, no.
457
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,001
OW! Aah!
458
00:29:48,543 --> 00:29:50,670
What's happening?
Ow! Aah! Stop it!
459
00:29:51,045 --> 00:29:54,340
- What's happening? Stop it!
- Ho, ho, ho. No, no, no, boys!
460
00:29:54,507 --> 00:29:56,050
Bays. Boys, easy.
461
00:29:56,217 --> 00:29:57,552
Ohm.
462
00:29:57,719 --> 00:29:59,387
Oh, Fred. Ha, ha.
463
00:29:59,554 --> 00:30:01,180
- Oh.
- That was nuts!
464
00:30:01,347 --> 00:30:02,390
Oh.
465
00:30:02,557 --> 00:30:05,560
What is happening here? You don't have
ninjas jump me when I first--
466
00:30:05,727 --> 00:30:08,229
- What kind of greeting is that?
- Excuse the guys...
467
00:30:08,396 --> 00:30:10,440
...it's the month before Christmas,
a tense time.
468
00:30:10,606 --> 00:30:14,110
They get jumpy. They gotta
make sure nothing happens to me.
469
00:30:14,277 --> 00:30:17,071
Maybe something should happen to them.
Maybe I give them something.
470
00:30:17,238 --> 00:30:19,699
It won't happen again.
They won't do it again.
471
00:30:19,866 --> 00:30:23,578
- You gotta put these guys on a leash, Nick.
- I got you. I'm on top of it, ASAP.
472
00:30:23,745 --> 00:30:27,040
Oh, hey. You remember Annette.
Say hey to Annette. Annette.
473
00:30:27,206 --> 00:30:29,709
You didn't have to get
all gussied up on my account.
474
00:30:29,876 --> 00:30:33,087
Ah, that last stint in jail
has sharpened that rapier wit of yours.
475
00:30:33,254 --> 00:30:36,382
That's great. I'm here for you,
and I really can't do enough for you.
476
00:30:36,549 --> 00:30:40,428
Really? I thought you were here to take
advantage of your well-meaning brother.
477
00:30:40,595 --> 00:30:42,388
Oh, ho, ho, okay.
478
00:30:42,972 --> 00:30:45,767
Ah, family's together again.
Fun, fun, fun.
479
00:30:45,933 --> 00:30:49,062
Hey, Fred, I've already made
your sleeping arrangements for you.
480
00:30:49,228 --> 00:30:52,065
I have put you with Willie.
481
00:30:52,231 --> 00:30:53,733
Well, here we are.
482
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:57,445
Oh, uh, watch your head there.
Come on in.
483
00:30:57,862 --> 00:31:01,032
Here it is. What do you think?
484
00:31:01,366 --> 00:31:03,493
Smurfy. Very Smurfy.
485
00:31:05,870 --> 00:31:08,456
To be honest, I don't get
many houseguests. Heh-heh.
486
00:31:08,623 --> 00:31:10,708
No one's slept in that bunk
for 100 years.
487
00:31:11,042 --> 00:31:13,127
Good night, Willie.
Thank you for having me.
488
00:31:13,294 --> 00:31:14,629
Good night, Fred.
489
00:31:15,630 --> 00:31:18,800
You sure you wouldn't be more
comfortable down here on the bottom?
490
00:31:18,966 --> 00:31:21,844
I don't think it's gonna make
much of a difference, Willie.
491
00:31:22,011 --> 00:31:25,890
- Okay. Night, Fred.
- Good night.
492
00:31:33,815 --> 00:31:37,902
Willie, just for the record,
I'm not really a morning person.
493
00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:42,615
Oh. Well, Santa did ask me to give you
a full orientation of the gift-giving process...
494
00:31:42,782 --> 00:31:45,701
...so, uh, we'd better
get a move on here.
495
00:31:52,875 --> 00:31:57,004
Here it is, Fred, Santa's Workshop.
496
00:32:11,477 --> 00:32:14,647
It all starts with a kid and a letter.
497
00:32:15,064 --> 00:32:17,859
All over the world,
children are writing to Santa...
498
00:32:18,025 --> 00:32:19,986
...asking for what they
want for Christmas.
499
00:32:20,736 --> 00:32:22,405
Dear Santa...
500
00:32:22,572 --> 00:32:25,700
...all I want for Christmas
is an orange bicycle...
501
00:32:25,867 --> 00:32:27,535
...with banana handlebars.
502
00:32:27,702 --> 00:32:30,830
All the kids' letters come here
to the North Pole Post Office...
503
00:32:30,997 --> 00:32:33,040
...the busiest in the whole world.
504
00:32:36,419 --> 00:32:39,547
Once they're sorted, the letters
come straight to the Toy Factory.
505
00:32:42,592 --> 00:32:45,261
- Orange bicycle for Molly Gordon.
- Put her through.
506
00:32:45,428 --> 00:32:49,557
Each and every toy that a child
asks for is handmade by the elves.
507
00:32:49,724 --> 00:32:53,561
It's important to Santa that
every child feels taken care of.
508
00:32:53,895 --> 00:32:56,481
Once built, the toys
make their way to Packaging.
509
00:32:56,772 --> 00:33:01,777
And finally, the toys are stored until
Christmas Eve, when Santa delivers them.
510
00:33:01,944 --> 00:33:03,696
It's good to know. Thank you, Willie.
511
00:33:03,863 --> 00:33:07,200
Here comes
"Here Comes Santa Claus" on NP-100.
512
00:33:09,410 --> 00:33:11,996
Oh, you're gonna love this.
We have our very own DJ.
513
00:33:13,789 --> 00:33:15,583
Hey, Donnie. DJ Donnie.
514
00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:16,834
- Um--
- Well, well, well.
515
00:33:17,001 --> 00:33:18,252
- Oh.
- It's the saint...
516
00:33:18,419 --> 00:33:20,922
...who puts the chill
in the North Pole. Ow!
517
00:33:21,088 --> 00:33:24,717
Hey, hey, uh, DJ Donnie.
Say hey to my big brother, Freddie.
518
00:33:24,884 --> 00:33:27,929
Yo, brother Fred, can I get a "Ho, ho"?
519
00:33:28,095 --> 00:33:30,014
- No.
- Ooh.
520
00:33:30,181 --> 00:33:32,058
You Scrooge, you lose.
521
00:33:33,226 --> 00:33:35,394
Our Naughty-Nice Department.
522
00:33:35,561 --> 00:33:38,272
This is the key to the whole process...
523
00:33:38,439 --> 00:33:41,609
...the nerve center
of the entire operation, Fred.
524
00:33:42,109 --> 00:33:43,778
You have a Ten Most-Naughty list?
525
00:33:43,945 --> 00:33:45,530
Oh, yeah. Yeah, right now...
526
00:33:45,696 --> 00:33:50,535
...we got Johnny Rollins in Nova Scotia.
He's occupying the number one spot.
527
00:33:50,701 --> 00:33:54,205
Last month he bit his
father and his dentist.
528
00:33:54,372 --> 00:33:55,873
But why did he bite them?
529
00:33:56,082 --> 00:34:00,253
Well, I assume that they, uh-- They
got their hands too close to his mouth.
530
00:34:00,419 --> 00:34:03,881
Of course, sometimes kids
are both naughty and nice.
531
00:34:04,048 --> 00:34:07,969
So in that case, we do
an up-to-date determination, hence...
532
00:34:08,761 --> 00:34:10,054
...the snow globe.
533
00:34:10,221 --> 00:34:12,473
Let me show you
how it works, all right? Ahem.
534
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,308
Timmy Jackson...
535
00:34:14,850 --> 00:34:16,060
...New York City.
536
00:34:16,602 --> 00:34:18,521
Watch this.
537
00:34:21,315 --> 00:34:25,111
What are you doing? Get out of my room!
Get out of my room!
538
00:34:28,781 --> 00:34:32,451
Oh, boy. Okay, that seems
pretty cut and dried.
539
00:34:32,827 --> 00:34:34,662
What, we don't know
what happens, what--?
540
00:34:34,829 --> 00:34:38,040
Good morning, Fred. Honey,
may I have a word with you, please?
541
00:34:38,207 --> 00:34:41,335
You betcha. Fred, you just stay
right there. Don't you move an inch.
542
00:34:41,544 --> 00:34:44,213
I better check up on the all-girls
Swedish swimming team.
543
00:34:44,380 --> 00:34:46,007
I'm hoping they're naughty. Heh-heh.
544
00:34:46,257 --> 00:34:48,259
- Fred is really motivated.
- You think?
545
00:34:48,426 --> 00:34:51,679
- He's gonna be a big help here.
- How you doing? Be working with you.
546
00:34:51,846 --> 00:34:54,098
The efficiency expert
arrives in 15 minutes.
547
00:34:54,265 --> 00:34:56,350
- We're gonna be fine.
- I know it, I know it.
548
00:34:56,517 --> 00:34:58,436
- Give me a little something.
- Yes, I will.
549
00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:01,147
Mm-hm. There we go. Alrighty.
550
00:35:01,397 --> 00:35:02,815
Let's get you to work.
551
00:35:03,482 --> 00:35:07,194
Now, I'm going to explain this
to you in very simple terms, okay?
552
00:35:07,403 --> 00:35:09,113
- Now, see those blue files?
- Uh-huh.
553
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,198
- I want you to review those files, okay?
- Yeah.
554
00:35:11,532 --> 00:35:14,452
If the kid strikes you as naughty...
555
00:35:15,578 --> 00:35:17,788
...bam! Stamp him "Naughty."
556
00:35:17,955 --> 00:35:21,208
All right? But if the kid
strikes you as nice...
557
00:35:21,542 --> 00:35:22,710
- Bam!
- Bam! Yep
558
00:35:22,877 --> 00:35:24,211
You stamp them "Nice."
559
00:35:24,378 --> 00:35:26,047
I'm a cog in the wheel. I am.
560
00:35:26,213 --> 00:35:30,009
Good, all right. I gotta hustle, because
I gotta meet somebody right now, okay?
561
00:35:30,176 --> 00:35:31,886
- Aye, aye, captain.
- Captain's on deck.
562
00:35:32,053 --> 00:35:34,055
- Rest assured, my man.
- Mail delivery.
563
00:35:34,221 --> 00:35:37,350
- The ship's getting steered safely, my man.
- All right, buddy.
564
00:35:37,516 --> 00:35:39,435
- Great. So this is it?
- Yeah, right.
565
00:35:39,602 --> 00:35:41,145
That's just Bethesda, Maryland.
566
00:35:42,229 --> 00:35:44,106
All right, everyone. Oh, my goodness...
567
00:35:44,273 --> 00:35:46,108
...it's "Here Comes Santa Claus!"
568
00:35:58,079 --> 00:36:00,581
You didn't have to travel
by helicopter, Mr. Northcutt.
569
00:36:00,748 --> 00:36:02,500
I would've happily sent the sleigh.
570
00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:04,418
I despise reindeer.
571
00:36:04,585 --> 00:36:05,628
- Oh.
- Oh.
572
00:36:05,836 --> 00:36:09,090
Uh, would you like to settle in?
We have your room ready.
573
00:36:09,256 --> 00:36:11,676
- Oh...
- You could take a little nap.
574
00:36:11,842 --> 00:36:13,678
- I don't nap.
- Oh.
575
00:36:13,844 --> 00:36:15,971
Ah, well, that sounds like
it's gonna be dandy.
576
00:36:16,138 --> 00:36:19,725
As you can see
from the chart labeled 116-9C...
577
00:36:19,892 --> 00:36:24,563
...the average size of a child's wish list
has grown substantially in the last 200 years.
578
00:36:24,730 --> 00:36:28,150
In the 1800s, for example, children
rarely asked for more than one item...
579
00:36:28,317 --> 00:36:31,570
...and usually these items
were of a intangible nature.
580
00:36:31,737 --> 00:36:35,408
Something like a family member's health
or the end of war or famine.
581
00:36:35,574 --> 00:36:37,785
I remember that. Try fitting
that down the chimney, huh?
582
00:36:39,954 --> 00:36:42,873
Chart 345-11B shows that today...
583
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,877
...the average child
asks for 15 gifts per letter.
584
00:36:47,044 --> 00:36:49,964
Growing child demands and
increasingly complicated toy making...
585
00:36:50,131 --> 00:36:54,427
...are putting your operation further behind
each year. It's not good enough, Mr. Claus.
586
00:36:54,593 --> 00:36:58,973
Well, now, we are not here to give
every child every toy that they want.
587
00:36:59,140 --> 00:37:03,227
Mr. Northcutt, part of Christmas is being
grateful for the things that we can have.
588
00:37:03,561 --> 00:37:06,605
- Yes, well, if it were only that simple.
- Ha, ha. It's not?
589
00:37:06,772 --> 00:37:09,608
No. Sadly. You see...
590
00:37:10,025 --> 00:37:13,320
...the board is seriously considering...
591
00:37:13,821 --> 00:37:15,072
...shutting you down.
592
00:37:16,449 --> 00:37:17,491
What?
593
00:37:17,658 --> 00:37:19,493
- That's so unfair.
- Shutting us down?
594
00:37:19,660 --> 00:37:21,787
Streamlining, consolidating, outsourcing...
595
00:37:21,954 --> 00:37:24,248
...an entirely new operation based at...
596
00:37:24,415 --> 00:37:27,001
...and I know this is gonna be
tough for you to hear...
597
00:37:27,168 --> 00:37:29,170
...based at the South Pole.
598
00:37:29,545 --> 00:37:30,921
Oh. That--
599
00:37:31,088 --> 00:37:34,967
But it's not just you. We're putting the
tooth fairy on a one child, one tooth system.
600
00:37:35,134 --> 00:37:38,179
You lose your first tooth,
get a buck, put it under the pillow.
601
00:37:38,345 --> 00:37:40,848
But then get on with your life.
It's getting a bit...
602
00:37:41,015 --> 00:37:43,642
Don't you think? Also, we're
gonna dump the Easter bunny.
603
00:37:43,893 --> 00:37:45,728
It just doesn't make
any sense anymore.
604
00:37:45,895 --> 00:37:48,481
I mean, Easter and bunnies
and eggs and all that.
605
00:37:48,647 --> 00:37:50,483
Where's the synergy? Don't get it.
606
00:37:51,317 --> 00:37:53,986
Now, let's move on to the
next item on the list, shall we?
607
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,947
How much are you actually
feeding those elves?
608
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:04,205
Wanda Blinkowski, Chicago, Illinois.
609
00:38:09,627 --> 00:38:10,878
Is that someone special?
610
00:38:11,045 --> 00:38:13,547
Yeah. That's my girl, there.
611
00:38:13,714 --> 00:38:17,176
Oh, no. I totally spaced out.
Look, I got a quarter right here.
612
00:38:17,384 --> 00:38:20,221
Well, I'm sorry, darling,
but you're two minutes too late.
613
00:38:20,387 --> 00:38:22,890
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
614
00:38:23,057 --> 00:38:25,726
That must make you feel bad,
having people argue with you.
615
00:38:25,893 --> 00:38:29,021
Yeah, well, it's definitely
not the favorite part of my job.
616
00:38:29,188 --> 00:38:31,982
How about I make it up to you?
Let me take you to dinner.
617
00:38:32,608 --> 00:38:33,692
Go to dinner with you?
618
00:38:33,859 --> 00:38:37,071
Consider it a meal
and sparkling conversation.
619
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:40,241
No, I can't. Thank you, but I can't.
620
00:38:40,407 --> 00:38:43,744
It's always, uh, painful to watch
a guy crash and burn, my man.
621
00:38:43,911 --> 00:38:45,162
You have a boyfriend?
622
00:38:46,038 --> 00:38:47,456
Um...
623
00:38:49,959 --> 00:38:51,836
No. No, actually, I don't.
624
00:38:52,002 --> 00:38:54,255
Well, that's a good thing.
What do you say?
625
00:38:54,755 --> 00:38:57,383
Well, I'll give you a ticket.
626
00:38:57,550 --> 00:38:59,635
And I'll give you my card.
627
00:38:59,802 --> 00:39:01,554
Okay. Nice to meet you.
628
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:03,347
This may be the best ticket I ever got.
629
00:39:04,682 --> 00:39:06,433
You gotta pay it within 30 days,
you know that?
630
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,686
I'll see you before then, right?
631
00:39:24,285 --> 00:39:25,786
El Paso.
632
00:39:26,412 --> 00:39:27,454
Great.
633
00:39:27,621 --> 00:39:29,039
You're not gonna believe this.
634
00:39:29,206 --> 00:39:31,917
Another request
for "Here Comes Santa Claus!"
635
00:39:32,084 --> 00:39:34,295
This time from Beth in Accounting.
Here you go.
636
00:39:34,670 --> 00:39:38,299
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding
me with the "Santa Claus" again?
637
00:39:38,465 --> 00:39:40,175
Hey, DJ.
638
00:39:40,759 --> 00:39:43,387
- DJ Donnie.
- What up, Fred?
639
00:39:43,554 --> 00:39:47,558
Stop playing the same song over and over
again. It becomes like mental torture.
640
00:39:47,725 --> 00:39:49,643
But, Fred, it's so catchy.
641
00:39:50,519 --> 00:39:56,025
God. Okay, Donnie. It's one song that's
being played over and over and over again.
642
00:39:56,191 --> 00:39:59,695
And the only thing that breaks that up
is you announcing it's the same song.
643
00:39:59,904 --> 00:40:02,573
It would be a nice gesture
to play something different.
644
00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:04,658
- I said no.
- Donnie, change the song.
645
00:40:04,825 --> 00:40:06,660
- No! No!
- Change the song!
646
00:40:06,827 --> 00:40:09,371
You know what? I'm gonna change
the song, then, for you.
647
00:40:09,538 --> 00:40:12,041
What are you getting physical for?
Music's about love.
648
00:40:12,207 --> 00:40:14,668
Don't get physical with me.
We're trying to share.
649
00:40:14,835 --> 00:40:18,505
What are you doing? Stop it. Come on,
stop-- What, are you gonna do it to me?
650
00:40:18,672 --> 00:40:21,008
Donnie, stop. You're acting
like an untrained dog.
651
00:40:21,175 --> 00:40:24,970
Get ahold of yourself. Take a breath.
Stop swinging at me. Will you calm down?
652
00:40:25,137 --> 00:40:27,473
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna Supernanny you.
653
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,934
Put you in the Naughty cabinet.
You can't handle yourself.
654
00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:32,227
- Unh!
- Listen to me, calm it down a little.
655
00:40:32,394 --> 00:40:36,440
Stop it. Use your words. Use your words.
656
00:40:36,607 --> 00:40:39,985
I'll let you out once you're sorry
and you're ready to turn a corner...
657
00:40:40,152 --> 00:40:42,613
- ...and be a team player, okay?
- Don't do it.
658
00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:44,114
I'll put my elf foot up your butt.
659
00:40:44,281 --> 00:40:46,909
I'm from the south side
of the North Pole, man.
660
00:40:47,284 --> 00:40:50,329
- I hear you. Let me out!
- Let's heat it up! Let's heat it up!
661
00:40:53,415 --> 00:40:55,542
Come on, let's loosen it up in here!
662
00:40:55,709 --> 00:40:59,630
You got the same thing playing all the time.
Let's liven it up! Let's get dancing.
663
00:40:59,797 --> 00:41:03,300
Let's get our blood pumping. Let's make
some bad decisions with each other.
664
00:41:03,884 --> 00:41:05,052
Come on.
665
00:41:05,552 --> 00:41:07,513
Stop looking shy, baby, light it up.
666
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,181
Oh, my goodness.
667
00:41:14,186 --> 00:41:16,188
It sounds angry.
668
00:41:16,355 --> 00:41:17,523
I know.
669
00:41:18,315 --> 00:41:20,401
I like it.
670
00:41:20,567 --> 00:41:21,986
Bring it in.
671
00:41:27,157 --> 00:41:28,784
You wanna come up here?
672
00:42:13,037 --> 00:42:15,122
Your continued existence
at the North Pole...
673
00:42:15,289 --> 00:42:18,584
...will all be decided on a simple
three-strike policy.
674
00:42:18,751 --> 00:42:22,629
You make it through Christmas without
three strikes, I send back a positive report.
675
00:42:22,796 --> 00:42:25,215
If, however, you do get three strikes...
676
00:42:25,466 --> 00:42:28,552
...this entire operation
will be shut down permanently.
677
00:42:29,011 --> 00:42:33,891
Oh, and one more thing, absolutely
nobody is to know why I'm here.
678
00:42:34,058 --> 00:42:35,851
Especially the elves.
679
00:42:37,561 --> 00:42:42,107
Of course. Mr. Northcutt, the elves
are extremely dedicated and hardworking.
680
00:42:42,274 --> 00:42:44,610
I am confident that they
will impress you, sir.
681
00:42:44,902 --> 00:42:48,489
Ho, ho, holy cow.
682
00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:21,855
Stop it. Stop it. Stop.
683
00:43:22,189 --> 00:43:25,651
Everyone, this is Mr. Northcutt.
684
00:43:26,026 --> 00:43:27,945
He'll be with us through Christmas.
685
00:43:28,112 --> 00:43:30,572
Please make him welcome
and let him observe.
686
00:43:31,323 --> 00:43:32,491
Back to work.
687
00:43:33,617 --> 00:43:36,954
They have never behaved
like that before. I assure you.
688
00:43:37,121 --> 00:43:38,956
No elf discipline.
689
00:43:39,123 --> 00:43:42,459
Showing a complete lack of control
over your entire workforce.
690
00:43:42,626 --> 00:43:46,213
That's a biggie. It's disappointing.
And that would be strike one.
691
00:43:46,672 --> 00:43:48,924
- Hmm.
- Sorry, didn't catch your name.
692
00:43:49,091 --> 00:43:51,718
Oh, that's, uh, Fred.
That's my older brother.
693
00:43:51,885 --> 00:43:55,639
- He's just helping out for the season.
- I didn't know you had a brother.
694
00:43:55,806 --> 00:44:00,227
Mr. Northcutt, uh, I should have
someone show you around. Willie.
695
00:44:00,519 --> 00:44:03,897
Take a tour, there, Mr. Northcutt.
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
696
00:44:05,482 --> 00:44:08,402
Fred. What in the heck are you doing?
697
00:44:08,569 --> 00:44:12,739
Nick, let me be completely honest
with you here, the DJ is a real problem.
698
00:44:13,157 --> 00:44:14,908
Fred, he's an elf that plays records.
699
00:44:15,075 --> 00:44:19,705
Nick, he continued to play the same song
over and over and over and over and over...
700
00:44:19,913 --> 00:44:21,165
Got you. Got you.
701
00:44:21,331 --> 00:44:25,210
He then decided to lay his hands on me
and get physical and tried to hurt me, Nick.
702
00:44:26,753 --> 00:44:29,006
Okay? Now, I have a decision
to make in that moment.
703
00:44:29,173 --> 00:44:32,301
Do I wanna try to get physical?
Do I wanna pound this elf's head in?
704
00:44:32,467 --> 00:44:36,597
And the answer to that is no. I want him
to know how it feels not to be respected...
705
00:44:36,763 --> 00:44:40,392
- ...when you're trying to do your work.
- Shh. Just lower your voice. Keep it down.
706
00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:43,729
And to be honest, if you decide to
punish him, I'm not gonna be mad at you.
707
00:44:44,271 --> 00:44:45,898
I'm not gonna be upset with you.
708
00:44:46,064 --> 00:44:48,775
If you wanna bring the hammer down
upon his little DJ hands...
709
00:44:48,942 --> 00:44:50,068
- Mm-hm.
- ...do it, dude.
710
00:44:50,235 --> 00:44:54,489
Okay. All right. That's a thought.
And I'm gonna sit on that and let it boil.
711
00:44:54,656 --> 00:44:56,742
But what I'm trying to tell you is...
712
00:44:56,909 --> 00:44:59,203
...the elves have gotta stay sharp right now.
713
00:44:59,369 --> 00:45:01,455
Very important, okay?
714
00:45:01,622 --> 00:45:05,292
We can't have any type
of problems, anymore, okay?
715
00:45:05,459 --> 00:45:09,129
I get it. We're two brothers talking now,
I know where you're coming from.
716
00:45:09,296 --> 00:45:11,298
That's all that counts. That's what counts.
717
00:45:11,590 --> 00:45:13,800
Now that you said that,
it's not gonna happen...
718
00:45:13,967 --> 00:45:17,554
- ...I'm gonna kill him with kindness.
- No, no, no, you don't have to.
719
00:45:17,763 --> 00:45:21,808
Love, kindness, it's coming off
of you like radiation or something.
720
00:45:21,975 --> 00:45:24,394
No, no, no.
You're gonna stay at your station.
721
00:45:24,853 --> 00:45:26,730
- Right.
- Smooth sailing, right?
722
00:45:26,897 --> 00:45:27,898
The smoothest sailing.
723
00:45:31,443 --> 00:45:34,154
Freddie, I am so glad
you took my invitation for dinner.
724
00:45:34,321 --> 00:45:36,907
I'm excited we're gonna be able
to hang out as brothers.
725
00:45:37,074 --> 00:45:38,659
- Break bread, right?
- Absolutely.
726
00:45:42,246 --> 00:45:43,288
I want one.
727
00:45:43,705 --> 00:45:44,790
Ah.
728
00:45:45,499 --> 00:45:47,501
- Nick. Nick.
- Oh, boy. What?
729
00:45:47,668 --> 00:45:49,211
- Nick.
- What?
730
00:45:49,378 --> 00:45:50,712
- Nick, come here.
- Okay, okay.
731
00:45:50,921 --> 00:45:53,131
What the heck is Mom
doing in the house, huh?
732
00:45:53,298 --> 00:45:55,509
I want you to be honest,
does she know I'm here?
733
00:45:55,676 --> 00:45:59,638
Call me crazy, but my mom comes
and visits me for the holidays every year.
734
00:46:00,264 --> 00:46:03,183
I'm not going in there, Nick,
because I don't visit with Mom...
735
00:46:03,350 --> 00:46:06,937
- ...and I don't for good reason.
- It would be really nice if, for once...
736
00:46:07,104 --> 00:46:11,817
...things were nice and calm
and you just dropped by for dinner.
737
00:46:11,984 --> 00:46:15,862
- This isn't even debatable. I'm not going.
- Ho, ho, ho, I'm not gonna listen to no.
738
00:46:16,029 --> 00:46:19,366
There's a book, Does Fred Go to Dinner?
Flip through the pages...
739
00:46:19,533 --> 00:46:22,327
...and last page, Fred does not
go to dinner. The End.
740
00:46:22,494 --> 00:46:26,373
The sequel, know what it's called?
Ding-dong, Who's There? Why, it's Fred.
741
00:46:26,540 --> 00:46:28,292
- I'm not going.
- Pumpkin pie. Come on.
742
00:46:28,458 --> 00:46:32,838
Get it through your head.
I am not going to dinner.
743
00:46:37,092 --> 00:46:39,052
- Aah!
- Oh.
744
00:46:39,219 --> 00:46:41,096
Hello, I hope I'm not intruding...
745
00:46:41,263 --> 00:46:43,682
...but I ran into your parents,
and they invited me to dinner.
746
00:46:44,182 --> 00:46:45,183
Oh.
747
00:46:45,350 --> 00:46:48,895
Oh, no, no, yeah, welcome, welcome.
748
00:46:51,398 --> 00:46:55,610
- Here we are.
- So, Frederick, how have you been?
749
00:46:55,777 --> 00:46:58,238
- I've been good, Ma. I've been real good.
- That's nice.
750
00:46:58,405 --> 00:47:01,742
Oh, I'll tell you,
Fred has been doing a bang-up job...
751
00:47:01,908 --> 00:47:04,369
...down in the Naughty-Nice Department.
Ho, ho.
752
00:47:04,536 --> 00:47:09,458
I wouldn't say I've been doing a bang-up job.
I had complications and hit rough spots...
753
00:47:09,666 --> 00:47:12,753
- ...but I'm doing the best I can.
- Oh, yeah, no, no, no...
754
00:47:12,919 --> 00:47:17,174
...you are proving to be
one very hard worker.
755
00:47:17,341 --> 00:47:21,428
Well, I would imagine he's probably
a very hard worker, considering.
756
00:47:23,263 --> 00:47:24,681
Considering what?
757
00:47:24,848 --> 00:47:28,310
Considering that you didn't have the time
to come to our anniversary party.
758
00:47:28,477 --> 00:47:31,897
- Your brother gave us quite a shindig.
- Fred sent a lovely gift, though.
759
00:47:32,064 --> 00:47:35,692
Come on, now, that massage chair,
that looked very, very expensive.
760
00:47:35,859 --> 00:47:37,277
Yes, I'm sure it was.
761
00:47:39,696 --> 00:47:41,406
- What's happening?
- What do you mean?
762
00:47:41,573 --> 00:47:44,409
- I don't see-- What's happening?
- Nothing's happening.
763
00:47:44,576 --> 00:47:45,952
Okay.
764
00:47:47,579 --> 00:47:48,580
- Oh, you all right?
- Ow.
765
00:47:48,747 --> 00:47:51,124
I even enjoyed
the card that came with it.
766
00:47:51,291 --> 00:47:53,460
Do you remember what you wrote
on the card, Frederick?
767
00:47:53,627 --> 00:47:56,296
Um, let's see,
was it something like, uh:
768
00:47:56,463 --> 00:47:59,257
"Happy anniversary,
I hope you choke on your meal"?
769
00:47:59,424 --> 00:48:01,593
- Ho, ho, ho.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
770
00:48:03,428 --> 00:48:05,013
Now you're just being silly.
771
00:48:05,180 --> 00:48:07,849
Have some gravy, darling.
The potatoes are awfully dry.
772
00:48:08,016 --> 00:48:11,561
Phyllis, I wish you wouldn't do that,
because Nicholas needs to lose weight.
773
00:48:11,728 --> 00:48:13,105
- Hmm...
- He's perfect.
774
00:48:13,271 --> 00:48:15,148
You're looking at a man
who can fly around the world...
775
00:48:15,315 --> 00:48:17,567
- ...in a single night.
- Ah, man.
776
00:48:17,734 --> 00:48:19,486
- That's unbelievable.
- Okay, Mom.
777
00:48:19,778 --> 00:48:23,615
You know, I can never get over that,
Nicholas. I just-- You amaze me.
778
00:48:23,782 --> 00:48:26,284
- Isn't it amazing?
- I think it's absolutely amazing.
779
00:48:26,451 --> 00:48:29,496
To think that he can fly around
to a million houses in one night...
780
00:48:29,663 --> 00:48:32,207
...breaking and entering,
staring at little children...
781
00:48:32,374 --> 00:48:34,418
...eat the little kids' cookies and stuff.
782
00:48:34,584 --> 00:48:37,712
That's a phenomenal occurrence.
And I get jacked out of my mind...
783
00:48:37,879 --> 00:48:41,425
...just thinking about all those laws
being broken. Don't you guys feel it?
784
00:48:41,591 --> 00:48:44,511
Frederick, why are you so upset?
785
00:48:44,803 --> 00:48:47,013
Oh, come on, Mom. Don't...
786
00:48:47,180 --> 00:48:50,600
Oh. I just wish you were
a little more like your brother.
787
00:48:50,851 --> 00:48:52,853
Great. Okay.
788
00:48:53,019 --> 00:48:56,273
I have a feeling I'd be much more
comfortable back in my little hut...
789
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,650
...with, uh, some
Hot Pockets and a milkshake.
790
00:48:58,859 --> 00:49:01,027
Come on. Don't be like that. Fred.
791
00:49:01,987 --> 00:49:03,280
Oh.
792
00:49:05,407 --> 00:49:09,369
I just love meeting people's families.
I find it so...
793
00:49:10,704 --> 00:49:11,913
...revealing.
794
00:49:15,459 --> 00:49:17,878
Night, Frosty. See you tomorrow.
795
00:49:22,424 --> 00:49:26,303
- Fred. Hey, terrific. Come on in, my friend.
- How are you, Willie?
796
00:49:26,511 --> 00:49:28,346
I'm great. Pull up a stool.
797
00:49:28,722 --> 00:49:30,223
Hey, eggnog for Fred, Frosty.
798
00:49:30,390 --> 00:49:32,476
- Sure, they're on the way.
- Make it a double.
799
00:49:32,642 --> 00:49:33,810
Thank you.
800
00:49:38,231 --> 00:49:39,232
Hey, Fred.
801
00:49:45,906 --> 00:49:47,324
- Charlene.
- Yeah.
802
00:49:50,577 --> 00:49:53,622
You know, you see these people,
uh, after work...
803
00:49:53,788 --> 00:49:57,584
...and I don't even recognize them.
You know, like, "Oh, of course. Charlene."
804
00:49:57,751 --> 00:50:00,086
- Yeah.
- Good night, Fred.
805
00:50:01,755 --> 00:50:05,258
- Good night, Charlene.
- Good night, uh...
806
00:50:06,927 --> 00:50:09,471
- Willie.
- Willie.
807
00:50:13,433 --> 00:50:17,562
Fred, I don't-- I don't...
808
00:50:17,729 --> 00:50:19,564
I don't understand, Fred.
809
00:50:19,940 --> 00:50:21,900
She doesn't remember my name?
810
00:50:22,275 --> 00:50:25,362
What is it, Fred? Is it--?
It's me, isn't it?
811
00:50:25,529 --> 00:50:28,532
You can tell me, Fred, it's okay.
Because you're my friend.
812
00:50:28,698 --> 00:50:31,034
It's just that-- She thinks I'm a freak.
813
00:50:31,910 --> 00:50:35,288
I love her. I love her.
814
00:50:35,455 --> 00:50:39,251
Uh, Willie, now look. You love to laugh.
You're a lot of fun to be around.
815
00:50:39,417 --> 00:50:41,920
Fred, I can't even tell a joke.
816
00:50:42,087 --> 00:50:45,298
I say the last line first. I'm afraid
everyone's gonna stop listening.
817
00:50:45,465 --> 00:50:46,967
This thing is very easy.
818
00:50:47,133 --> 00:50:51,263
Let her know that you're ready for fun,
and you are not gonna apologize for it.
819
00:50:54,641 --> 00:50:57,143
You know, at last year's
after-Christmas party...
820
00:50:57,310 --> 00:50:59,145
...I almost asked her to dance.
821
00:50:59,312 --> 00:51:01,815
Then I remembered I can't dance. Heh.
822
00:51:02,649 --> 00:51:05,235
- Yet.
- What?
823
00:51:05,902 --> 00:51:08,113
Can't dance yet.
824
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,830
Fred, I feel ridiculous.
825
00:51:16,997 --> 00:51:19,874
I don't know how to dance.
I don't know the steps.
826
00:51:20,041 --> 00:51:23,378
This is very uncomfortable for me.
827
00:51:23,545 --> 00:51:26,464
Come on. Get out of your head
for a second. Get into your body.
828
00:51:26,881 --> 00:51:29,884
Okay, see, I'm not gonna do that.
I can't actually do that.
829
00:51:30,051 --> 00:51:33,013
We're no longer talking with this,
we're gonna talk with--
830
00:51:33,179 --> 00:51:34,347
Bring it. Bring it right now.
831
00:51:34,514 --> 00:51:37,892
Bring all that green goodness that you
have on and bring it right up on me.
832
00:51:38,059 --> 00:51:41,479
Come on, this beautiful green angel.
Now, put one hand here.
833
00:51:41,646 --> 00:51:44,524
Great. Put another hand here.
Come on, grip it. Don't be shy.
834
00:51:44,691 --> 00:51:46,943
All we're gonna do
is a little bit of a baby sway.
835
00:51:47,110 --> 00:51:49,779
That's it, just a gentle rock
back and forth. Just easy.
836
00:51:49,946 --> 00:51:51,865
Now, you got short arms, which is good...
837
00:51:52,032 --> 00:51:53,908
...because it means you gotta get close.
838
00:51:54,075 --> 00:51:57,078
So go ahead, pull this big tugboat
to shore. Anchors aweigh.
839
00:51:58,496 --> 00:52:03,501
That's it. Okay, now, the next thing
you do is put your hand on my back.
840
00:52:04,711 --> 00:52:07,172
That's not my back,
but it is a little bit naughty.
841
00:52:07,339 --> 00:52:11,217
I like where you're headed, but for these
purposes, let's just keep it professional.
842
00:52:11,384 --> 00:52:13,178
- Fred.
- Now, remember, Willie...
843
00:52:13,345 --> 00:52:16,056
...dancing is not about dancing, right?
844
00:52:16,222 --> 00:52:19,976
It's about connecting.
Now, look me in the eye.
845
00:52:20,143 --> 00:52:23,647
Great. Now, if I was a girl, I'd get
goose bumps with what you just brought.
846
00:52:24,105 --> 00:52:27,901
The other great thing about dancing
is it's the perfect bridge to a kiss.
847
00:52:28,193 --> 00:52:31,154
So all you gotta do is have fun,
let me know I can have fun...
848
00:52:31,321 --> 00:52:34,532
...and then when the time's right,
that's when you make your move.
849
00:52:34,699 --> 00:52:37,744
Get my blood pumping. Start to feel it.
850
00:52:38,078 --> 00:52:39,579
Get your blood pumping.
851
00:52:39,871 --> 00:52:42,415
Let's get excited. Let's make it happen.
852
00:52:42,582 --> 00:52:46,086
Come on, big guy. Turn around
and show me what you don't know.
853
00:52:46,252 --> 00:52:50,507
That's it. Okay. That's one way
to look at it. Keep moving it, baby.
854
00:52:50,674 --> 00:52:53,093
That's it. Keep rolling.
There's no rules. I like it.
855
00:52:53,259 --> 00:52:58,098
You're making it happen. You're dancing.
That's okay, and it's not okay, and it's okay.
856
00:53:11,277 --> 00:53:12,779
Feel it. Stay with it.
857
00:53:12,946 --> 00:53:17,409
Wind it up. I like it. Heat it up.
Work it harder. Stay with it, brother.
858
00:53:35,635 --> 00:53:37,387
Oh, I forgot my gloves.
859
00:53:38,722 --> 00:53:41,307
It's okay. Just get up calmly.
860
00:53:49,649 --> 00:53:51,276
That's all right--
861
00:53:51,484 --> 00:53:52,861
Willie.
862
00:54:07,208 --> 00:54:08,793
So you fell down, big deal.
863
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:12,964
Fred, not everybody falls down on his face
in front of the girl he loves.
864
00:54:13,131 --> 00:54:16,509
I looked like a total idiot out there.
865
00:54:16,676 --> 00:54:19,929
How am I ever gonna be seen
in public again? It's ridiculous.
866
00:54:20,096 --> 00:54:23,850
Thank goodness Blitzen didn't feel that way
the first time he learned how to fly.
867
00:54:24,017 --> 00:54:27,145
When Blitzen learned to f--?
Why don't I know this story?
868
00:54:27,312 --> 00:54:30,023
Oh, come off it, Willie.
Everyone knows this story.
869
00:54:30,190 --> 00:54:33,443
- When Blitzen learned to fly?
- He fell on his face.
870
00:54:33,860 --> 00:54:35,528
- He did?
- He'd try and take a run-- yeah.
871
00:54:35,695 --> 00:54:37,697
He'd run and he'd fall flat on his face.
872
00:54:38,072 --> 00:54:40,283
But he picked himself up
and he'd keep trying.
873
00:54:40,450 --> 00:54:43,995
And eventually,
he stopped thinking and he flew.
874
00:54:44,370 --> 00:54:47,624
- It's common knowledge.
- Ah, Fred, come on.
875
00:54:47,791 --> 00:54:50,293
- It's true.
- I'm not Blitzen, though. I'm no Blitzen.
876
00:54:50,460 --> 00:54:53,004
Well, I disagree with you, Willie.
877
00:54:53,755 --> 00:54:56,549
I know you got more
Blitzen in you than you realize.
878
00:54:58,676 --> 00:55:01,262
Love is so complicated.
879
00:55:01,429 --> 00:55:03,807
Yeah, can be.
880
00:55:04,265 --> 00:55:05,391
It hurts.
881
00:55:07,143 --> 00:55:09,145
I'm proud of you, Willie.
882
00:55:11,105 --> 00:55:12,899
Now, good night.
883
00:55:13,525 --> 00:55:15,527
Good night, Fred.
884
00:55:40,009 --> 00:55:41,427
Oh, Fred.
885
00:55:41,594 --> 00:55:45,265
Oh, where, oh, where
did all the kids' letters go?
886
00:55:50,061 --> 00:55:52,981
Oh, isn't that sweet?
Lucy wants a cooking set.
887
00:55:53,147 --> 00:55:57,277
Well, here's how you make pasta, darling.
There's a start.
888
00:55:58,945 --> 00:56:03,074
Oh, little Keenan Adams
wants a bike for Christmas.
889
00:56:03,241 --> 00:56:07,453
Well, Keenan, I guess you'll be taking
the bus to school from now on.
890
00:56:08,371 --> 00:56:14,127
Oh, Freddie, Freddie, you have
been so very, very naughty.
891
00:56:16,921 --> 00:56:20,425
I didn't take any of the files
out of the room. I never got to the S's.
892
00:56:20,592 --> 00:56:23,761
Fred, I don't need to tell you
how very important these files are.
893
00:56:24,846 --> 00:56:28,558
Without them, we have no idea
what the children want.
894
00:56:28,725 --> 00:56:30,894
Or whether they've been marked
Naughty or Nice.
895
00:56:31,060 --> 00:56:34,480
And it was your responsibility,
of course, to keep track of them.
896
00:56:34,647 --> 00:56:38,401
I just told you, I would know if I--
I didn't take any" What is going on here?
897
00:56:38,818 --> 00:56:41,154
And why are you standing there
judging me with your arms folded?
898
00:56:41,321 --> 00:56:43,698
Uh-- Uh, I'm not judging you,
I'm nervous.
899
00:56:43,865 --> 00:56:47,452
I'd be nervous too if I was up to no good.
Doth who protests the most.
900
00:56:47,619 --> 00:56:49,495
- Can you believe this guy?
- Okay. Come on.
901
00:56:49,662 --> 00:56:52,123
- I got my eye on you, Bob.
- Yeah? Anytime, big fella.
902
00:56:52,290 --> 00:56:53,333
Bob, settle down.
903
00:56:53,499 --> 00:56:56,127
You wanna talk like an elf,
you have to act like an elf.
904
00:56:56,294 --> 00:56:57,712
- I'm easy to find.
- Big talk.
905
00:56:57,879 --> 00:57:00,256
He's got a bigger reach than you, Bob.
906
00:57:05,094 --> 00:57:07,221
- Trouble?
- No, no, no.
907
00:57:07,388 --> 00:57:11,184
No? Nobody in Wisconsin's
gonna get any gifts this year!
908
00:57:15,521 --> 00:57:18,483
- Oh, my, my. Those poor children.
- Oh--
909
00:57:18,650 --> 00:57:20,944
You don't have any backup records?
910
00:57:21,611 --> 00:57:23,947
Well, we've never had
something like this happen.
911
00:57:24,113 --> 00:57:28,451
I'm sure that they'll turn up. I mean, after
all, where could they have possibly gone?
912
00:57:28,618 --> 00:57:31,788
Failure to administrate backup records.
913
00:57:31,955 --> 00:57:33,122
That would be strike two.
914
00:57:35,208 --> 00:57:37,377
Look, this is probably
none of my business...
915
00:57:37,543 --> 00:57:40,004
...but I'm a little concerned about Fred.
916
00:57:40,505 --> 00:57:44,801
Oh. Well, I appreciate your concern,
Mr. Northcutt, but he is fine.
917
00:57:44,968 --> 00:57:48,680
It's just that I've seen these kind
of things before. The little lies...
918
00:57:49,263 --> 00:57:50,598
...flashes of anger.
919
00:57:50,974 --> 00:57:54,477
No, I can assure you, he's fine.
920
00:57:54,686 --> 00:57:57,563
Well, but it could get
so much worse, Santa.
921
00:57:57,730 --> 00:58:01,025
Tell me, has he asked for
large sums of money recently?
922
00:58:01,234 --> 00:58:04,028
And what about trouble?
923
00:58:04,487 --> 00:58:06,781
Has he gotten into trouble with the law?
924
00:58:06,948 --> 00:58:09,409
Why, yes, Mr. Northcutt, yes, he has.
925
00:58:09,575 --> 00:58:13,830
Of course. He's crying out for help.
926
00:58:13,997 --> 00:58:16,374
And if someone doesn't
step in and help him, why...
927
00:58:16,541 --> 00:58:18,418
...I'm afraid it's gonna get ugly.
928
00:58:18,793 --> 00:58:21,754
Well, what can I do, Mr. Northcutt?
929
00:58:22,255 --> 00:58:26,259
I did have a thought.
But Fred's not going to like it.
930
00:58:32,682 --> 00:58:35,059
What kind of party
are you dudes throwing?
931
00:58:45,820 --> 00:58:49,615
Airmail it! Airmail it to me right now!
Let's get jacked up!
932
00:59:31,032 --> 00:59:35,161
What are you, nuts? I feel like Patty Hearst.
I was just abducted, Nick.
933
00:59:35,328 --> 00:59:37,080
You're gonna have to pay something...
934
00:59:37,246 --> 00:59:39,499
...to make up for the hurt
I have inside of me.
935
00:59:39,665 --> 00:59:43,669
And it's not gonna be cheap. I got a lawyer
that's got vowels in his last name, Nick.
936
00:59:43,836 --> 00:59:48,758
And he's gonna contact you and make you
feel the hurt that I feel from your handlers.
937
00:59:48,925 --> 00:59:51,636
Frederick.
We're having a family intervention.
938
00:59:51,803 --> 00:59:54,472
Your behavior has been unacceptable.
939
00:59:58,518 --> 01:00:01,854
- Wanda, hi.
- Hi. You all right?
940
01:00:02,021 --> 01:00:05,233
I'm doing terrific. I'm doing great.
How've you been?
941
01:00:05,399 --> 01:00:08,569
You know, I've been all right.
Yeah, I've been, uh, working and--
942
01:00:08,736 --> 01:00:13,199
That's awesome. Work is really good for
someone to do when they're doing stuff.
943
01:00:13,366 --> 01:00:16,828
I've been working a lot, too, by the way.
Uh, and also fighting for my life.
944
01:00:17,537 --> 01:00:19,163
But, um...
945
01:00:19,872 --> 01:00:22,041
My brother's Santa Claus.
946
01:00:23,417 --> 01:00:26,379
Yeah, yeah. I can- I can see that.
947
01:00:26,546 --> 01:00:29,882
- It's a little different.
- Um...
948
01:00:30,049 --> 01:00:32,552
Yeah, the whole thing's been
a little bit unusual.
949
01:00:32,718 --> 01:00:34,804
- Ha.
- Your brother has flown...
950
01:00:34,971 --> 01:00:36,389
...someone in we think can help you.
951
01:00:36,722 --> 01:00:38,808
- This is Dr. Goldfarb.
- Hello.
952
01:00:38,975 --> 01:00:42,061
Your erratic behavior is putting
too much stress on your brother.
953
01:00:42,228 --> 01:00:46,232
Mom, for Pete's sake, okay, I'm not,
ha-ha-ha, stressed out about it.
954
01:00:46,399 --> 01:00:48,276
- Nick. You're falling apart.
- I am not.
955
01:00:48,442 --> 01:00:50,528
Yes, you are.
You're dangerously overweight.
956
01:00:50,695 --> 01:00:51,904
He is not.
957
01:00:52,071 --> 01:00:54,740
You have no idea
what your son is going through.
958
01:00:54,907 --> 01:00:57,535
- Okay.
- He is a terrible closet eater.
959
01:00:57,702 --> 01:01:01,122
He has developed
acid reflux and sleep apnea.
960
01:01:01,289 --> 01:01:04,417
- I snore. I mean, people snore.
- It is keeping him up all night...
961
01:01:04,584 --> 01:01:08,254
...and it's affecting his health, not
to mention other aspects of our marriage.
962
01:01:08,421 --> 01:01:09,672
Oh, ho, ho, Annette.
963
01:01:09,839 --> 01:01:12,008
He's having a tough time
getting off the ground, huh?
964
01:01:13,634 --> 01:01:14,969
I'm just saying.
965
01:01:15,970 --> 01:01:17,763
Please, let's just cut to the chase.
966
01:01:17,930 --> 01:01:20,558
It's simple, it's always
the same thing with you, Fred.
967
01:01:21,184 --> 01:01:23,102
- You cause problems.
- Sweetie--
968
01:01:23,269 --> 01:01:24,604
And then you make excuses...
969
01:01:24,770 --> 01:01:27,607
...like, you know, you're looking
out for someone else.
970
01:01:27,773 --> 01:01:29,275
Ever since he was a little boy.
971
01:01:29,442 --> 01:01:32,945
I couldn't have said it any better.
Freddie, that is what you do.
972
01:01:33,112 --> 01:01:36,532
That's great. Do me a favor, please.
Why don't you just stay out of this?
973
01:01:36,699 --> 01:01:39,285
Well, I came for the intervention.
Your family asked me.
974
01:01:39,452 --> 01:01:42,288
Don't you have a date with a guy
who forgot to plug his meter?
975
01:01:42,455 --> 01:01:44,123
Have you been spying on me?
976
01:01:44,290 --> 01:01:45,958
- Yes.
- You got nothing better to do?
977
01:01:46,125 --> 01:01:48,920
- I don't like what I saw.
- If you spied on me properly...
978
01:01:49,086 --> 01:01:51,923
...you would know I didn't end up
going out with that guy.
979
01:01:52,089 --> 01:01:55,635
Let me just say this to you.
It is not flattering on your character...
980
01:01:55,801 --> 01:01:58,346
...to see you with a man
who's got liver-spotted hands.
981
01:01:58,512 --> 01:02:00,973
It's a very weak choice.
It makes you look weak.
982
01:02:01,140 --> 01:02:03,100
Look, I can tell you what your problem is.
983
01:02:03,267 --> 01:02:06,771
You won't let anybody love you because
you don't think you're worth loving.
984
01:02:06,938 --> 01:02:08,147
If it pleases the court...
985
01:02:08,314 --> 01:02:10,942
...did you have an older gentleman
ask you out on a date?
986
01:02:11,108 --> 01:02:13,736
Yes, but that's not the point.
I didn't see him again.
987
01:02:13,903 --> 01:02:16,322
- Then she's a dater.
- You push and fix on one thing.
988
01:02:16,489 --> 01:02:18,324
Then stop dating. Put down the phone.
989
01:02:18,491 --> 01:02:19,992
That's it. I've had enough.
990
01:02:20,159 --> 01:02:24,163
Excuse me, Mr. Santa Claus. It's been
very pleasant to come to the North Pole...
991
01:02:24,956 --> 01:02:25,998
...and, yeah.
992
01:02:26,165 --> 01:02:28,876
Go find a date. Maybe get lucky
with an elf on the way out.
993
01:02:29,043 --> 01:02:30,503
Good luck. Hope it goes well.
994
01:02:30,670 --> 01:02:34,006
Well, there's a lot of mistletoe
out there, so you should be psyched.
995
01:02:34,173 --> 01:02:35,299
Fred.
996
01:02:38,010 --> 01:02:39,845
I think we're making some real progress.
997
01:02:40,012 --> 01:02:43,849
You wanna know what the good news is about
all of this, is tomorrow's my last day.
998
01:02:44,016 --> 01:02:45,601
We don't have to have therapy.
999
01:02:45,768 --> 01:02:49,981
Therapy is for people who want to be in each
other's lives. We don't have that problem.
1000
01:02:50,147 --> 01:02:53,192
I'm gonna finish my job,
I'll be out of your lives forever.
1001
01:02:54,944 --> 01:02:56,195
Ah.
1002
01:03:05,121 --> 01:03:06,205
Nice night.
1003
01:03:07,665 --> 01:03:09,125
Get lost, guy.
1004
01:03:10,584 --> 01:03:14,255
Santa Claus' brother,
that must be a tough beat.
1005
01:03:14,964 --> 01:03:17,216
My brother's a doctor.
I never hear the end of it.
1006
01:03:17,383 --> 01:03:20,052
Half the time,
I feel like I don't even exist.
1007
01:03:20,219 --> 01:03:22,638
And the way your whole family treats you.
1008
01:03:23,723 --> 01:03:25,725
What's your story, man?
1009
01:03:25,891 --> 01:03:27,143
Excuse me?
1010
01:03:28,102 --> 01:03:31,397
Look, whatever you're trying to do
with me here's not gonna work.
1011
01:03:31,564 --> 01:03:33,816
Well, what exactly am I trying?
1012
01:03:33,983 --> 01:03:38,195
I don't know what it is you're into, but
something's real kind of creepy about you...
1013
01:03:38,362 --> 01:03:39,905
...and ever since you got here...
1014
01:03:40,072 --> 01:03:42,408
...my brother's been getting
a little bit nervous.
1015
01:03:42,575 --> 01:03:44,076
That's wonderful.
1016
01:03:45,453 --> 01:03:46,746
What is wonderful?
1017
01:03:46,912 --> 01:03:49,248
You take an interest
in your brother's well-being.
1018
01:03:49,415 --> 01:03:51,876
Of course you do.
I'm sure he does the same for you.
1019
01:03:52,043 --> 01:03:53,544
- Clyde--
- You ever seen a tree...
1020
01:03:53,711 --> 01:03:55,755
...that grows in the shadow
of another tree?
1021
01:03:55,921 --> 01:03:59,550
It's all puny and misshapen because
it's just bending and twisting...
1022
01:03:59,717 --> 01:04:02,511
...trying so desperately
to get some sunlight.
1023
01:04:03,304 --> 01:04:06,932
If somebody just out off a
few feet of that big tree...
1024
01:04:07,099 --> 01:04:09,018
...that little tree could grow up strong.
1025
01:04:09,185 --> 01:04:11,729
But no, that's not the way
life works, right?
1026
01:04:12,396 --> 01:04:15,483
They all love that big tree, right?
They're all proud of that one.
1027
01:04:15,649 --> 01:04:18,277
They hate the crap out of
the little one next to it.
1028
01:04:19,111 --> 01:04:22,448
The little tree that refuses to grow right.
1029
01:04:22,615 --> 01:04:26,035
And you know what? Till somebody
comes along and outs down that big tree...
1030
01:04:26,202 --> 01:04:30,581
...that little tree is never
gonna get any light. Any light.
1031
01:04:34,668 --> 01:04:37,088
I'm sorry.
I don't know where that came from.
1032
01:04:38,631 --> 01:04:39,965
Christmas.
1033
01:04:40,132 --> 01:04:41,467
Have a nice night.
1034
01:05:00,361 --> 01:05:02,154
What the hell was that?
1035
01:05:02,321 --> 01:05:05,783
Oh. Looks like a new kid just took over
the number one Most Naughty spot.
1036
01:05:11,497 --> 01:05:12,623
Slam?
1037
01:05:15,167 --> 01:05:17,128
Samuel Gibbons, Chicago, Illinois.
1038
01:05:22,716 --> 01:05:24,176
What are you asking Santa for?
1039
01:05:24,593 --> 01:05:28,013
- A family.
- I'm asking for a family too.
1040
01:05:28,639 --> 01:05:32,643
Santa's not bringing y'all families.
Santa Claus is a clown.
1041
01:05:32,810 --> 01:05:34,353
He's a fame junkie.
1042
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,522
He puts on a big red suit...
1043
01:05:36,689 --> 01:05:38,941
...and rides around the town with reindeer.
1044
01:05:39,358 --> 01:05:41,569
It's because the man
is desperate for attention.
1045
01:05:41,735 --> 01:05:43,696
The dude needs to be
in the spotlight.
1046
01:05:43,863 --> 01:05:48,284
There's more Santa statues in the
world than Buddha. It's a shell game.
1047
01:05:48,451 --> 01:05:50,119
Y'all drank all the Kool-Aid, fools.
1048
01:05:50,286 --> 01:05:54,039
You just know you're never
getting adopted because you're mean.
1049
01:05:56,333 --> 01:05:59,378
- Break it up! You'll get in trouble!
- Get off me! Get off!
1050
01:05:59,879 --> 01:06:02,548
- Break it up! Break it up!
- Get off!
1051
01:06:02,715 --> 01:06:04,717
Somebody's gonna get in trouble!
1052
01:06:05,885 --> 01:06:08,888
I don't care. I'm Slam.
1053
01:06:59,355 --> 01:07:01,690
Santa, I ran the numbers three times.
1054
01:07:02,066 --> 01:07:03,442
Yeah.
1055
01:07:03,609 --> 01:07:06,028
Charlene, mention this to no one.
1056
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:09,448
- Especially Clyde Northcutt.
- Yes, sir.
1057
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:14,286
Fred!
1058
01:07:16,121 --> 01:07:18,499
What the blazes have you done?
1059
01:07:18,666 --> 01:07:22,586
You marked every naughty child as nice.
1060
01:07:22,753 --> 01:07:24,213
Are you out of your mind?
1061
01:07:24,380 --> 01:07:27,132
- None of the kids seemed naughty to me.
- Good grief, Fred.
1062
01:07:27,299 --> 01:07:30,386
You really never see the ramifications
of anything, do you?
1063
01:07:30,761 --> 01:07:34,306
We literally cannot make enough
presents with only three days left.
1064
01:07:34,473 --> 01:07:37,226
We cannot deliver all of those presents.
1065
01:07:37,393 --> 01:07:40,604
Do you see? It's over.
Congratulations, Fred.
1066
01:07:40,771 --> 01:07:43,857
You've cost Christmas
for the whole planet! Everybody!
1067
01:07:44,024 --> 01:07:47,319
Lithuania, everywhere in Africa,
the whole thing!
1068
01:07:47,736 --> 01:07:49,071
Right down the crapper!
1069
01:07:49,363 --> 01:07:52,324
Blame it all on me, right?
It's all my fault. How convenient.
1070
01:07:52,491 --> 01:07:56,453
Annette was right about you.
Mom was right about you.
1071
01:07:56,620 --> 01:07:57,871
You know what, save it.
1072
01:07:58,038 --> 01:08:00,457
Maybe you should look
at your own self for a change.
1073
01:08:00,624 --> 01:08:04,670
You just keep stuffing your face
with gingerbread, fat boy.
1074
01:08:11,510 --> 01:08:15,347
You slick-talking, fast-talking punk.
1075
01:08:16,265 --> 01:08:20,269
You know I've been battling a weight
problem for years, Fred. That is not funny.
1076
01:08:20,436 --> 01:08:23,105
You know what?
You can shove it, Thunder Thighs.
1077
01:08:23,272 --> 01:08:26,025
I'm sick of it. This little tree's
gonna get some light.
1078
01:08:26,191 --> 01:08:28,319
This tree's gonna chop
that big tree down.
1079
01:08:28,485 --> 01:08:30,112
I don't have to take your abuse!
1080
01:08:30,279 --> 01:08:32,031
Nick, I couldn't miss you if I tried.
1081
01:08:32,197 --> 01:08:34,992
I couldn't miss you if I tried
because you're so fat.
1082
01:08:35,159 --> 01:08:38,704
You throw like a girl, like a big,
leather jacket-wearing girl.
1083
01:08:38,871 --> 01:08:40,497
- Come on, Nick.
- Aaarggh!
1084
01:08:40,664 --> 01:08:42,833
- Come on, fat boy! Ah.
- Aah!
1085
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,752
How'd you get to work today? You roll?
1086
01:08:44,918 --> 01:08:48,047
How'd you get here? Did you steal
a sled from some little kid?
1087
01:08:48,797 --> 01:08:50,007
Come on!
1088
01:08:59,642 --> 01:09:02,353
Good night, sweet prince.
1089
01:09:16,408 --> 01:09:19,578
Don't bring a snowmobile
to a snowball fight, Nick.
1090
01:09:26,752 --> 01:09:29,338
You gonna run me over?
Are you gonna run me over?
1091
01:10:01,245 --> 01:10:03,747
I never realized it before.
1092
01:10:08,127 --> 01:10:10,421
You hate me.
1093
01:10:11,505 --> 01:10:13,590
I don't hate you, Nick.
1094
01:10:16,593 --> 01:10:18,554
I just wish you were never born.
1095
01:10:22,641 --> 01:10:24,059
Yeah.
1096
01:10:24,309 --> 01:10:26,478
Oh. Ah.
1097
01:10:38,657 --> 01:10:44,121
Clyde Northcutt is not from
Human Resources, Fred.
1098
01:10:45,038 --> 01:10:47,875
He's an efficiency expert.
1099
01:10:49,042 --> 01:10:54,423
And he is one strike away
from shutting me down.
1100
01:10:55,466 --> 01:10:57,676
Permanently.
1101
01:11:23,410 --> 01:11:25,537
Well, I hope you're happy
with yourself, Fred.
1102
01:11:25,704 --> 01:11:27,956
Look, Annette, I want my money.
A deal's a deal.
1103
01:11:29,792 --> 01:11:31,627
Yeah.
1104
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:34,213
Personally,
I don't think you deserve a cent.
1105
01:11:36,381 --> 01:11:39,510
Oh. He wanted you to have this too.
1106
01:11:42,179 --> 01:11:45,891
Merry Christmas, Fred.
1107
01:11:52,147 --> 01:11:53,565
Let's go, Willie.
1108
01:11:56,610 --> 01:11:58,237
Well, well.
1109
01:12:00,906 --> 01:12:03,826
Mr. Northcutt.
1110
01:12:04,451 --> 01:12:05,869
You wanted to see me, sir.
1111
01:12:06,036 --> 01:12:07,079
Yes, I did.
1112
01:12:07,496 --> 01:12:10,249
Bring up Fred Claus
from earlier today, please.
1113
01:12:31,603 --> 01:12:34,690
Well, now, we can correct that.
We can correct that.
1114
01:12:34,857 --> 01:12:38,151
Charlene. We still have
plenty of time, don't we?
1115
01:12:38,318 --> 01:12:40,612
With less than three days
to go until Christmas...
1116
01:12:40,779 --> 01:12:43,282
...you now have no way
of making your quota.
1117
01:12:43,699 --> 01:12:47,077
And I think you know what that means.
1118
01:12:47,244 --> 01:12:50,914
Strike three.
1119
01:12:52,124 --> 01:12:55,043
Look, it gives me no great pleasure
to have to say this, but--
1120
01:12:55,210 --> 01:12:59,464
Well, actually, who am I kidding,
this is a fantastic moment for me.
1121
01:13:15,272 --> 01:13:16,398
Huh.
1122
01:13:17,149 --> 01:13:18,984
You're fired.
1123
01:13:27,159 --> 01:13:30,537
Hey, Fred, it's Leon. It's the 22nd.
This is your big day, buddy.
1124
01:13:30,704 --> 01:13:34,291
Get that 50 G's in my hands.
Call me back. Let's do this.
1125
01:14:26,134 --> 01:14:29,137
And I, uh, feel this way all the time.
1126
01:14:29,304 --> 01:14:31,223
It's not like I didn't want
my brother to succeed.
1127
01:14:31,390 --> 01:14:34,685
We were very close growing up.
I mean, we shared bunk beds.
1128
01:14:34,851 --> 01:14:37,020
He was my roadie,
used to carry my amps.
1129
01:14:37,521 --> 01:14:40,065
And my mother always told me,
since I was a little kid:
1130
01:14:40,232 --> 01:14:44,111
"You're gonna support your brother."
And so that was gonna be my job.
1131
01:14:44,319 --> 01:14:48,448
And then Rocky came out,
and, uh, things changed, you know?
1132
01:14:48,615 --> 01:14:50,909
I was the first guy in line.
I mean, I was there.
1133
01:14:51,076 --> 01:14:53,912
And then when Rocky III came out...
1134
01:14:54,079 --> 01:14:56,665
...I was starting to wonder who
Frank Stallone was, you know?
1135
01:14:56,832 --> 01:14:58,417
It was like identity theft.
1136
01:14:58,583 --> 01:15:00,919
You're fighting Rambo
and you're fighting Rocky...
1137
01:15:01,086 --> 01:15:04,423
...and trying to keep them at bay
so you can get you to come through.
1138
01:15:04,923 --> 01:15:08,093
Well, anyway, I wanna
thank you guys for listening.
1139
01:15:08,260 --> 01:15:10,679
I feel good coming here. I like it here.
1140
01:15:10,846 --> 01:15:13,932
Wonderful. Thanks for sharing, Frank.
1141
01:15:14,099 --> 01:15:17,936
Okay. Now, I think we go to Roger.
1142
01:15:18,103 --> 01:15:21,523
Um, I actually have some things
I'd like to talk about if--
1143
01:15:21,690 --> 01:15:24,109
Okay, you're just gonna have
to wait your turn.
1144
01:15:24,276 --> 01:15:28,071
Roger's been waiting, and we didn't get
to him last time, so we'll go to Roger.
1145
01:15:28,238 --> 01:15:32,200
- I have a lot of stuff boiling right now, so--
- I appreciate that. After Roger.
1146
01:15:32,951 --> 01:15:35,537
- Okay.
- Roger?
1147
01:15:36,121 --> 01:15:38,081
I'm Roger, I'm a recovering sibling.
1148
01:15:38,248 --> 01:15:39,958
Hi, Roger.
1149
01:15:40,125 --> 01:15:42,627
My brother's Bill Clinton.
1150
01:15:42,961 --> 01:15:45,547
My brother was the
president of the United States.
1151
01:15:45,839 --> 01:15:48,759
You know, I was flipping
through the channels on the TV...
1152
01:15:48,925 --> 01:15:54,306
...and on the History Channel was the
State of the Union Address from 1993.
1153
01:15:54,473 --> 01:15:59,644
When we left the White House, I thought
it was gonna be the first step to recovery.
1154
01:16:00,270 --> 01:16:03,732
But no, I started to cry again.
1155
01:16:04,483 --> 01:16:09,988
And I just don't know if I'm ever, you
know, gonna be able to fully recover now.
1156
01:16:10,155 --> 01:16:13,658
Maybe that's a place where I could jump in,
share what's going on with me.
1157
01:16:13,825 --> 01:16:15,952
- Who are you?
- I'm Fred.
1158
01:16:16,119 --> 01:16:18,747
- Hi, Fred.
- Hi.
1159
01:16:19,456 --> 01:16:21,458
Go ahead.
Would you like to take a turn now?
1160
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:25,003
- My name is Fred Claus.
- Hi, Fred.
1161
01:16:25,796 --> 01:16:27,130
Hi.
1162
01:16:27,297 --> 01:16:28,799
I'm, uh...
1163
01:16:30,008 --> 01:16:32,302
Uh, I'm Santa Claus' brother.
1164
01:16:33,053 --> 01:16:36,681
And I got a lot of stuff
going on, uh, because of it.
1165
01:16:36,973 --> 01:16:41,353
There's a lot of things-- There's a lot
of, urn, juice in the tank over it.
1166
01:16:41,520 --> 01:16:44,147
- And, uh--
- Is this a joke to you?
1167
01:16:44,314 --> 01:16:46,525
- Stephen, by the way.
- Hi, Stephen.
1168
01:16:46,691 --> 01:16:47,943
Hey, guys, what's up?
1169
01:16:48,110 --> 01:16:52,531
I mean, because this isn't funny
to all of us here in the group.
1170
01:16:52,697 --> 01:16:54,658
Okay, this is very serious to us.
1171
01:16:54,825 --> 01:16:58,495
And I'm feeling very uncomfortable
with where you're coming from.
1172
01:16:58,662 --> 01:17:00,831
Wait, Stephen...
1173
01:17:00,997 --> 01:17:04,376
...maybe to him,
his brother is Santa Claus.
1174
01:17:04,543 --> 01:17:06,211
Feel like my brother's Santa Claus.
1175
01:17:06,378 --> 01:17:10,590
But I feel like my brother's Santa Claus
because my brother really is Santa Claus.
1176
01:17:10,757 --> 01:17:13,927
All right, that's enough, all right!
You and I got a problem!
1177
01:17:14,094 --> 01:17:17,764
Stephen, easy, easy.
All right. Stephen, easy.
1178
01:17:19,182 --> 01:17:21,601
That's not Alec, okay?
1179
01:17:21,935 --> 01:17:24,521
Don't look at me, look at him.
1180
01:17:24,688 --> 01:17:25,897
That's not Alec.
1181
01:17:26,231 --> 01:17:27,482
That's not Alec.
1182
01:17:27,941 --> 01:17:29,901
I'm not Alec, you know what I mean?
1183
01:17:30,068 --> 01:17:31,695
All right, let's stomp it out.
1184
01:17:31,862 --> 01:17:33,738
- It's not Alec.
- Alec's not gonna hear.
1185
01:17:33,905 --> 01:17:34,990
How's he gonna...?
1186
01:17:35,198 --> 01:17:37,576
- That's not Alec.
- Okay, that's not Alec.
1187
01:17:37,742 --> 01:17:39,744
- That's not Alec!
- That's not Alec.
1188
01:17:39,953 --> 01:17:42,372
- That's not Alec!
- All right.
1189
01:17:42,539 --> 01:17:46,668
Now that you've got Alec's attention,
Stephen, what do you wanna tell him?
1190
01:17:47,419 --> 01:17:52,257
Stephen, I think I know
where you're coming from...
1191
01:17:52,424 --> 01:17:55,260
...because I used to be really,
really angry with my brother.
1192
01:17:55,802 --> 01:18:00,599
I didn't want to become first brother,
especially for the rest of my life.
1193
01:18:00,765 --> 01:18:04,436
I couldn't control being brother
of the president of the United States.
1194
01:18:04,936 --> 01:18:08,148
But I could control
being Bill Clinton's brother.
1195
01:18:08,315 --> 01:18:11,443
And I made the decision, even though
I could have brought the house down...
1196
01:18:12,110 --> 01:18:15,780
...I made the decision that,
for the love of my brother...
1197
01:18:15,947 --> 01:18:18,533
...and for the love of my family name...
1198
01:18:19,326 --> 01:18:22,287
...that I was gonna do
whatever it took...
1199
01:18:22,787 --> 01:18:24,956
...because I loved my brother...
1200
01:18:25,123 --> 01:18:29,461
...and I was always gonna be there
for my brother. And I have been.
1201
01:18:29,628 --> 01:18:31,379
And you know what?
1202
01:18:31,546 --> 01:18:33,924
You can be too.
1203
01:18:38,970 --> 01:18:40,722
The Travel Experts?
1204
01:18:40,889 --> 01:18:44,768
Yeah. I need to get to the North Pole
right away, like, tonight.
1205
01:18:45,602 --> 01:18:48,730
Yeah, I got $50,000 in cash
that says I'm not kidding.
1206
01:19:09,125 --> 01:19:11,920
- Oh, North Pole. North Pole.
- North Pole is there?
1207
01:19:12,087 --> 01:19:14,756
- Safe journeys to you, and thank you.
- Ha.
1208
01:19:43,285 --> 01:19:47,414
Willie, gather all the elves and meet me
in the Workshop right now. Let's go.
1209
01:19:50,709 --> 01:19:52,210
Look, guys...
1210
01:19:52,502 --> 01:19:56,548
...we gotta make as many presents
as we can in the next 10 hours.
1211
01:19:56,715 --> 01:19:58,049
Fred, it's Christmas Eve.
1212
01:19:58,216 --> 01:20:03,513
It's impossible. We just can't build
that many toys in that time.
1213
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:06,308
The rule says that every kid gets a toy.
1214
01:20:06,474 --> 01:20:10,729
So, what would be the easiest toy to make?
One for boys and one for girls.
1215
01:20:10,895 --> 01:20:13,064
- A baseball bat.
- A Hula-Hoop.
1216
01:20:13,231 --> 01:20:15,900
Well, baseball bats
and Hula-Hoops it is, then.
1217
01:20:16,318 --> 01:20:20,280
Charlene, do you think it's possible we can
make enough gifts to meet our quota?
1218
01:20:20,447 --> 01:20:24,075
Baseball bats, lose four seconds, 55...
1219
01:20:25,327 --> 01:20:27,412
Yeah, it is possible.
1220
01:20:27,579 --> 01:20:30,874
It is, but, Fred, that's not
what the kids asked for.
1221
01:20:31,166 --> 01:20:34,502
Yeah, but all that matters is that
each of the kids get a toy.
1222
01:20:34,669 --> 01:20:38,715
That they all have something that they can
open when they wake up in the morning.
1223
01:20:38,882 --> 01:20:42,886
Most importantly, they all know that
there's somebody who's thinking about them.
1224
01:20:43,887 --> 01:20:46,848
You guys have never missed
a Christmas before.
1225
01:20:47,682 --> 01:20:50,518
If you guys are gonna go out this year...
1226
01:20:52,145 --> 01:20:54,272
...you're gonna go out trying.
1227
01:21:14,209 --> 01:21:16,211
Okay. We're on it.
1228
01:21:17,128 --> 01:21:19,255
- I've never seen him--
- That's because he's...
1229
01:21:19,422 --> 01:21:22,050
- ...thrown his back out.
- No.
1230
01:21:22,217 --> 01:21:24,469
- Hey, Annette, how you doing?
- Fred.
1231
01:21:24,677 --> 01:21:28,473
Nick, I think we're gonna make it. I got
elves in the Workshop making presents.
1232
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:30,934
We're cutting corners,
but I think we can make it.
1233
01:21:31,101 --> 01:21:34,270
You'll still be able to save Christmas.
We don't have a lot of time.
1234
01:21:34,437 --> 01:21:38,066
That's impossible. The man can
hardly carry his own weight.
1235
01:21:38,274 --> 01:21:40,110
I can't move.
1236
01:21:42,362 --> 01:21:44,447
I can't, Fred.
1237
01:21:45,532 --> 01:21:47,367
You can do it. It's Christmas, come on.
1238
01:21:47,534 --> 01:21:51,830
- The kids are out there, counting on us.
- Oh, boy, I wish I could.
1239
01:21:53,873 --> 01:21:56,835
Willie, this is your big night.
This is your big night, pal.
1240
01:21:57,001 --> 01:21:59,170
You're gonna deliver the presents.
Willie can deliver the presents.
1241
01:21:59,337 --> 01:22:01,089
No, Fred, I can't.
1242
01:22:01,256 --> 01:22:03,383
Of course you can.
You're great on that sleigh.
1243
01:22:03,550 --> 01:22:06,678
No, no, you don't understand.
I can't do it. There's a rule.
1244
01:22:06,845 --> 01:22:10,265
Only a Claus can deliver the presents.
1245
01:22:20,859 --> 01:22:24,112
Do you guys mind giving me just a
moment alone with my brother here?
1246
01:22:31,035 --> 01:22:32,871
Yeah, um...
1247
01:22:35,707 --> 01:22:39,377
I can't do that, Nick.
I think you know that. Uh...
1248
01:22:41,713 --> 01:22:45,216
I'm not capable.
I'm not even comfortable flying...
1249
01:22:45,383 --> 01:22:48,094
...or being a passenger,
let alone trying to fly the sleigh.
1250
01:22:48,261 --> 01:22:51,014
- I wouldn't know my way around reindeer--
- Hey, Fred.
1251
01:22:52,557 --> 01:22:54,058
It's all right.
1252
01:22:55,685 --> 01:23:00,231
It's ridiculous for anybody
to expect that kind of thing. No.
1253
01:23:00,690 --> 01:23:02,734
You can't do that. You can't.
1254
01:23:03,860 --> 01:23:08,490
It's too huge.
Believe me, I know. Heh. Heh.
1255
01:23:12,202 --> 01:23:14,913
And I would never ask you
to do that, Fred.
1256
01:23:17,248 --> 01:23:19,167
It's all right.
1257
01:23:19,334 --> 01:23:21,085
It is all right.
1258
01:23:36,309 --> 01:23:40,688
Nick, there's been one thing that's been
eating at me since I've been here.
1259
01:23:40,855 --> 01:23:43,399
That Naughty-Nice List that you got?
1260
01:23:45,193 --> 01:23:47,987
There's no naughty kids, Nick.
1261
01:23:48,154 --> 01:23:49,739
They're all good kids.
1262
01:23:50,406 --> 01:23:52,408
But some of them are scared.
1263
01:23:52,575 --> 01:23:54,911
And some of them
don't feel listened to.
1264
01:23:55,119 --> 01:23:57,830
Some of them had some
pretty tough breaks too.
1265
01:24:00,833 --> 01:24:04,295
But every kid deserves
a present on Christmas.
1266
01:24:42,333 --> 01:24:44,210
Yeah.
1267
01:24:58,683 --> 01:25:03,646
Africa plus Asia, plus Europe,
North America, South America.
1268
01:25:03,813 --> 01:25:05,023
It's gonna be close.
1269
01:25:05,189 --> 01:25:07,275
Let's go, people!
Let's pick up the pace!
1270
01:25:20,288 --> 01:25:23,958
Red Fred has entered the building.
I repeat, Red Fred has entered the building.
1271
01:25:24,125 --> 01:25:26,544
Willie, let's go.
1272
01:25:38,556 --> 01:25:42,560
What the heck's going on around here?
Little elves. You can't trust them at all.
1273
01:25:42,727 --> 01:25:43,853
The little tiny people.
1274
01:25:45,855 --> 01:25:48,733
Ha. Nice outfit. What the heck
do you think you're doing?
1275
01:25:48,900 --> 01:25:50,485
- Delivering presents.
- Oh, no.
1276
01:25:50,652 --> 01:25:52,487
Santa is the only one who can deliver.
1277
01:25:52,654 --> 01:25:55,239
Only a Claus can deliver presents
and that is a Claus.
1278
01:25:55,615 --> 01:25:59,369
If you think I'm gonna let you get away
with this, you are sadly mistaken.
1279
01:25:59,827 --> 01:26:02,914
If you don't get out of the way
of this sleigh in three seconds...
1280
01:26:03,081 --> 01:26:07,418
- ...I'll be the happiest guy in the North Pole.
- You don't have the guts.
1281
01:26:07,585 --> 01:26:08,836
Okay.
1282
01:26:09,712 --> 01:26:11,464
Three...
1283
01:26:11,839 --> 01:26:13,257
...two...
1284
01:26:13,424 --> 01:26:15,426
- Willie, how do I do this?
- Just say "ho."
1285
01:26:16,010 --> 01:26:17,387
- Ho!
- Aah!
1286
01:26:21,015 --> 01:26:24,894
- Good, Fred. Nice firm grip on those reins.
- What's happening now?
1287
01:26:25,061 --> 01:26:28,648
Snap those reins, we gotta get this thing
in the air! Tell the guys to get up!
1288
01:26:28,815 --> 01:26:29,899
Get up, get up, get up!
1289
01:26:32,068 --> 01:26:33,861
- There you go! You got it, Fred!
- Yeah.
1290
01:26:34,028 --> 01:26:35,113
- We're going up!
- Whoa!
1291
01:26:35,279 --> 01:26:36,614
Ha, ha. You're flying.
1292
01:26:36,781 --> 01:26:39,242
- You're flying Santa's sleigh!
- We're flying. Now what's happening?
1293
01:26:39,409 --> 01:26:41,160
- Watch the roof there.
- I can't do it!
1294
01:26:43,454 --> 01:26:44,455
Oh!
1295
01:26:44,622 --> 01:26:46,374
Do it to me, how do I steer this thing?
1296
01:26:46,541 --> 01:26:49,711
We wanna go up! So you gotta
pull up on the reins there, Fred!
1297
01:26:49,877 --> 01:26:51,379
Okay.
1298
01:27:05,768 --> 01:27:07,478
Christmas One, do you copy?
1299
01:27:07,645 --> 01:27:09,564
North Pole, this is Christmas One.
1300
01:27:09,731 --> 01:27:11,482
We copy. We hear you loud and clear.
1301
01:27:11,649 --> 01:27:14,902
Sixty seconds and counting
for a landing, North Pole.
1302
01:27:15,069 --> 01:27:16,738
Okay, we've got 10 hours, Fred.
1303
01:27:16,904 --> 01:27:20,575
We need to be done delivering
by 5:38 a.m. North Pole time.
1304
01:27:20,742 --> 01:27:22,785
That's sunrise, and that's game over.
1305
01:27:22,952 --> 01:27:25,413
Going down this thing here, it's, uh...
1306
01:27:26,122 --> 01:27:27,790
It's gonna hurt a bit, isn't it?
1307
01:27:27,999 --> 01:27:30,251
I'm not gonna lie to you.
It ain't gonna tickle.
1308
01:27:30,460 --> 01:27:33,463
Oh, and one more thing,
make sure you eat all the cookies.
1309
01:27:33,629 --> 01:27:37,425
- It hurts people's feelings if you don't.
- I got it.
1310
01:27:38,509 --> 01:27:39,969
Oh! Aah!
1311
01:27:41,304 --> 01:27:42,430
- Aah!
- Yeurgh.
1312
01:27:56,360 --> 01:27:58,321
Head 12 degrees north into London.
1313
01:27:58,488 --> 01:28:00,072
North Pole, this is Christmas One.
1314
01:28:00,239 --> 01:28:02,158
We're heading 12 degrees north into London.
1315
01:28:03,284 --> 01:28:04,368
Stephen Harding.
1316
01:28:06,704 --> 01:28:08,164
Anna-Marie Gormley.
1317
01:28:09,373 --> 01:28:10,541
Done.
1318
01:28:14,712 --> 01:28:16,214
Emma Short.
1319
01:28:21,886 --> 01:28:22,887
Oh.
1320
01:28:23,054 --> 01:28:25,348
We'll come back to this
neighborhood later.
1321
01:28:28,851 --> 01:28:30,978
Go 20 degrees past Dallas towards Lubbock.
1322
01:28:31,187 --> 01:28:32,730
Roger that, North Pole.
1323
01:28:32,897 --> 01:28:34,398
Whoa!
1324
01:28:41,072 --> 01:28:42,323
Aah!
1325
01:28:45,576 --> 01:28:48,246
Christmas One, take your
heading off one-zero-niner.
1326
01:28:50,873 --> 01:28:52,750
Fred, Fred, Fred!
1327
01:28:54,335 --> 01:28:57,129
- Shake it off, Rudolph!
- You sure you've never done this?
1328
01:28:57,296 --> 01:29:00,383
You're driving like an absolute pro
who makes a lot of mistakes.
1329
01:29:06,264 --> 01:29:10,101
It's okay. Friendly, friendly, friendly.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
1330
01:29:10,601 --> 01:29:11,727
Katherine Tibbett.
1331
01:29:11,894 --> 01:29:13,688
Christmas One, veer right...
1332
01:29:13,855 --> 01:29:15,273
...at the Empire State Building.
1333
01:29:40,298 --> 01:29:41,465
Next page.
1334
01:29:53,686 --> 01:29:54,812
Have a slice of challah.
1335
01:29:54,979 --> 01:29:57,773
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it. Mazel tov.
1336
01:29:57,940 --> 01:30:00,443
And that knish?
Let me just have one of these.
1337
01:30:00,610 --> 01:30:03,070
It's hard to pass these beauties up.
You're too generous.
1338
01:30:03,237 --> 01:30:04,280
Shalam. Shaloobi.
1339
01:30:07,116 --> 01:30:09,285
Psst. Kid.
1340
01:30:13,039 --> 01:30:14,749
Santa. You found me.
1341
01:30:14,916 --> 01:30:17,084
Yeah, I found you.
1342
01:30:17,251 --> 01:30:20,254
I find all the good kids.
1343
01:30:21,172 --> 01:30:23,174
Macaroni. It's you.
1344
01:30:23,341 --> 01:30:25,301
Hi. Hi, boy.
1345
01:30:25,468 --> 01:30:27,428
Come on, boy. Hi.
1346
01:30:27,720 --> 01:30:30,598
Slam, I want you to listen to me...
1347
01:30:30,765 --> 01:30:34,852
...you got some advice a while back,
and I think it was a little off.
1348
01:30:37,063 --> 01:30:38,898
The world is what you make it.
1349
01:30:40,191 --> 01:30:42,818
It all starts with what
you make of yourself.
1350
01:30:44,195 --> 01:30:47,323
And I want you to believe
in yourself, Slam...
1351
01:30:47,490 --> 01:30:50,368
...because you got a lot to believe in.
1352
01:30:51,702 --> 01:30:55,373
And the rest will all...
All kind of fall into place.
1353
01:30:55,539 --> 01:30:58,709
- Okay?
- Okay
1354
01:30:59,752 --> 01:31:01,212
Merry Christmas, pal.
1355
01:31:01,545 --> 01:31:03,005
Merry Christmas, Santa.
1356
01:31:03,464 --> 01:31:06,884
- Oh, and, um, Santa?
- Yeah.
1357
01:31:07,051 --> 01:31:08,803
Here's your wallet back.
1358
01:31:13,683 --> 01:31:14,976
That's a good start.
1359
01:31:15,142 --> 01:31:18,062
Let's try and build some
real momentum with that, okay?
1360
01:31:18,229 --> 01:31:19,897
Okay.
1361
01:31:26,529 --> 01:31:28,030
I think we're gonna make it!
1362
01:31:31,158 --> 01:31:33,411
Christmas One, are you there? Over.
1363
01:31:33,911 --> 01:31:35,246
Are you there--?
1364
01:31:39,750 --> 01:31:41,919
North Pole, go ahead,
this is Christmas One.
1365
01:31:43,129 --> 01:31:46,841
Good luck finding your way
in the dark without a candle, Freddie.
1366
01:31:47,008 --> 01:31:52,096
And as of right now, each and every one
of you little adorable munchkins is fired.
1367
01:31:52,263 --> 01:31:54,682
So go home, pack up your stockings.
1368
01:31:54,849 --> 01:31:58,102
You're taking a bus back to Elfistan
or wherever the hell you're from.
1369
01:31:58,269 --> 01:32:00,146
North Pole?
1370
01:32:00,312 --> 01:32:02,940
North Pole,
this is Christmas One, go ahead.
1371
01:32:03,107 --> 01:32:04,442
Hey, guys.
1372
01:32:06,110 --> 01:32:07,278
Uh...
1373
01:32:07,445 --> 01:32:09,321
I think we're flying blind up here.
1374
01:32:35,806 --> 01:32:40,311
By the time the sun rises,
it will all be over.
1375
01:32:40,770 --> 01:32:42,980
See you in the morning.
1376
01:32:43,314 --> 01:32:47,026
Clyde Archibald Northcutt...
1377
01:32:47,193 --> 01:32:51,614
...422 Dashwood Drive...
1378
01:32:52,448 --> 01:32:55,117
...Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
1379
01:32:55,951 --> 01:32:57,078
Ha.
1380
01:32:57,578 --> 01:33:01,373
Yeah, you, uh--
You made the Most-Naughty list in '68.
1381
01:33:01,540 --> 01:33:04,251
Oh, boy, that was a very,
very naughty year.
1382
01:33:04,418 --> 01:33:07,922
- How could you possibly remember that?
- You asked me for a Superman cape.
1383
01:33:09,173 --> 01:33:12,676
But I didn't give you
a Superman cape, did I?
1384
01:33:15,721 --> 01:33:19,517
- Did you always wear glasses, Clyde?
- If you think this is gonna change anything--
1385
01:33:19,683 --> 01:33:21,310
Four-Eyed Clyde.
1386
01:33:21,644 --> 01:33:24,772
- I bet that's what they called you.
- I don't know what you're talk--
1387
01:33:24,939 --> 01:33:29,026
Oh, and do you think that after a while
of being called Four-Eyed Clyde...
1388
01:33:29,193 --> 01:33:30,945
...you maybe got a little angry?
1389
01:33:31,320 --> 01:33:35,533
Maybe you started a fight or two.
Maybe 10, maybe 12.
1390
01:33:36,659 --> 01:33:37,868
Hmm.
1391
01:33:38,661 --> 01:33:41,330
So you asked me for something.
1392
01:33:41,497 --> 01:33:42,706
A Superman cape.
1393
01:33:43,249 --> 01:33:46,377
Because you thought that that
was gonna change everything.
1394
01:33:46,544 --> 01:33:47,586
This is ridiculous.
1395
01:33:47,753 --> 01:33:51,132
- So you decide to stay Four-Eyed Clyde?
- Because Clark Kent wore glasses!
1396
01:33:51,298 --> 01:33:54,635
Oh, but when he turned into Superman...
1397
01:33:55,177 --> 01:33:59,515
...he didn't need those
darn glasses anymore, did he?
1398
01:34:00,057 --> 01:34:02,726
On, Clyde.
1399
01:34:03,811 --> 01:34:07,273
It was wrong of me
not to give you that gift, Clyde.
1400
01:34:07,439 --> 01:34:11,819
I fear that I had a very incorrect...
1401
01:34:11,986 --> 01:34:14,822
...misguided understanding...
1402
01:34:16,407 --> 01:34:17,908
...of naughty children.
1403
01:34:21,078 --> 01:34:25,666
So this, uh, may be a little late...
1404
01:34:40,055 --> 01:34:41,098
You wanna put it on?
1405
01:34:43,559 --> 01:34:45,686
Mr. Claus,
I'm a 45-year-old man, I'm not--
1406
01:34:45,853 --> 01:34:47,938
Put it on.
1407
01:34:48,772 --> 01:34:50,232
For me.
1408
01:34:51,275 --> 01:34:53,777
- Okay.
- Thattaboy.
1409
01:34:54,737 --> 01:34:56,238
Oh.
1410
01:34:57,948 --> 01:34:59,116
Glasses off.
1411
01:35:08,751 --> 01:35:10,711
Now, I need your help.
1412
01:35:13,172 --> 01:35:14,465
Oh.
1413
01:35:15,299 --> 01:35:17,801
- Do you know what you're doing?
- Uh...
1414
01:35:17,968 --> 01:35:20,221
Quarter to 2 a.m. There's Ursa Minor.
1415
01:35:20,387 --> 01:35:24,016
That means we should be
at longitude 38.25. That's, uh, four--
1416
01:35:24,183 --> 01:35:25,809
Take a left! Take a left!
1417
01:35:29,313 --> 01:35:31,482
I really, really need your help.
1418
01:35:33,067 --> 01:35:35,611
I'm gonna need you to
turn the power back on, Superman.
1419
01:35:37,363 --> 01:35:39,573
Now, I know that you can do this.
1420
01:35:39,740 --> 01:35:43,577
You have to understand, I've already
submitted my report. It's final.
1421
01:35:43,744 --> 01:35:46,372
If Fred doesn't deliver
all those presents by sunrise...
1422
01:35:46,538 --> 01:35:49,416
...the North Pole will be
shut down forever. There's nothing--
1423
01:35:49,583 --> 01:35:52,169
I understand that. I do.
1424
01:35:52,336 --> 01:35:55,631
But what do you say
we give him his shot?
1425
01:35:56,590 --> 01:35:58,968
Because he's not a naughty kid either.
1426
01:35:59,134 --> 01:36:00,344
I'm trying to-- Hold on!
1427
01:36:00,511 --> 01:36:03,180
Just look outside.
That looks like the Grand Canyon.
1428
01:36:03,347 --> 01:36:04,473
Isn't that it?
1429
01:36:21,699 --> 01:36:22,950
Oh, boy.
1430
01:36:34,378 --> 01:36:35,421
Fred, it's 4:15.
1431
01:36:35,587 --> 01:36:38,382
Look, I'm gonna tuck and go
as fast as I can, all right?
1432
01:36:48,100 --> 01:36:49,143
Done, done.
1433
01:36:55,858 --> 01:36:58,277
Snap the reins!
We need more speed at this altitude!
1434
01:36:58,444 --> 01:37:01,030
- Going as fast as I can! Tell me when to turn!
- Now!
1435
01:37:11,415 --> 01:37:12,499
Fred.
1436
01:37:12,666 --> 01:37:15,002
I know, Willie, I know.
1437
01:37:31,101 --> 01:37:33,771
Fred, I have a bad feeling about this.
1438
01:38:51,265 --> 01:38:52,307
We did it.
1439
01:39:06,697 --> 01:39:07,865
Willie.
1440
01:39:18,167 --> 01:39:20,210
To the snow globe!