1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:05,003
Oh, that's good shit.
2
00:00:06,338 --> 00:00:08,039
Is this your party?
3
00:00:08,107 --> 00:00:10,842
No, my brother's.
He's a punk-ass bitch.
4
00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,778
For real. I can already tell
that you better than him.
5
00:00:13,846 --> 00:00:15,346
I mean, you got a dope-ass bike,
6
00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:17,715
and you look like you
don't take no shit.
7
00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:21,052
- I don't. I'm Eddie.
- That's a tough name.
8
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:25,657
Yo, bad kids are always
named Eddie. Or Shane.
9
00:00:25,724 --> 00:00:28,593
You look like a kid who got fireworks.
10
00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:30,895
Knew it.
I bet your daddy got a gun
11
00:00:30,963 --> 00:00:32,697
and you know exactly where it is.
12
00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:36,100
- Maybe I know where they all are.
- Yo, who's your favorite wrestler?
13
00:00:36,168 --> 00:00:38,570
Hey, come on, dog,
we're on in two minutes!
14
00:00:38,637 --> 00:00:41,105
Hey, man, can you buy me
some beer after the show?
15
00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:43,141
Can't do that, little man.
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:47,178
Hey, kid! Catch!
17
00:00:47,246 --> 00:00:52,110
- Wow!
- Yo, Eddie, the future is yours.
18
00:00:57,743 --> 00:01:00,832
1x09 - In a Pickle
19
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:05,680
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
20
00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:11,112
On the edge of the galaxy...
21
00:01:11,179 --> 00:01:12,913
there were two cool warriors,
22
00:01:12,981 --> 00:01:14,915
defenders of all things awesome,
23
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:17,618
like pizza and staying
up past your bedtime.
24
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:21,756
I'm Crisco,
aka Captain Ch-ch-chill!
25
00:01:21,823 --> 00:01:25,760
And I'm Lieutenant Fun Times
aka Ricky!
26
00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:28,596
Together we are the Kool Kidz!
27
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,631
And it's time for a galactic adventure!
28
00:01:32,601 --> 00:01:36,404
Uh-oh, the party is under attack
by the evil king Lame-o,
29
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:40,374
ruler of all things bad,
like vegetables and divorce.
30
00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:44,045
And also, kids, he smells like poop.
31
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:51,719
Ooh, I'm here to ruin
Tyler's party, brother.
32
00:01:51,787 --> 00:01:54,355
And I'm gonna eat all the birthday cake.
33
00:01:54,423 --> 00:01:56,624
You're gross!
34
00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,693
♪ stop Lame-o, he'll never win ♪
35
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,328
♪ because we're all here
with our best friends ♪
36
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,433
Oh, no!
37
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,269
- We're all out of ammunition.
- I got it!
38
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,538
Kids, take out your space
orbs in the goodie bag,
39
00:02:10,605 --> 00:02:13,641
and let's send king Lame-o
to the forbidden zone.
40
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,999
Yo!
Oh, no. They shootin'!
41
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,381
- What the...
- Got him!
42
00:02:20,449 --> 00:02:22,216
♪ Kool Kidz, it's your birthday ♪
43
00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:26,287
♪ Tyler's awesome ♪
♪ so happy birthday ♪
44
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:29,657
Yo, I never should've
let you idiots talk me into this.
45
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:32,159
Man, that shit was awful.
46
00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:35,229
Yo, I haven't felt this empty
since the finale of Lost.
47
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:42,403
- What. The. Hell.
- Hey, if you ask me, they in heaven.
48
00:02:42,471 --> 00:02:45,706
Wait, so that means...
that Sawyer...
49
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,042
so Sawyer is dead?
50
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:53,180
Smoke monster!
51
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:56,317
Why?!
52
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,219
Aw, come on, dog, the kids love to you.
53
00:02:58,286 --> 00:03:00,588
Man, those kids can suck my dick.
54
00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:03,057
When they invent Total
Recall, I'm gonna have
55
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,459
this memory erased from
my "bedula domblomgata."
56
00:03:05,527 --> 00:03:07,561
Fellas, great show.
57
00:03:07,629 --> 00:03:10,397
Tripp Goldstein,
Ego Tripp Entertainment,
58
00:03:10,465 --> 00:03:11,732
and that's with two "P's."
59
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,502
- Ha! Like pee-pee.
- Done anything we've heard of?
60
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,972
Just a little something called
"Pickle and friends."
61
00:03:18,039 --> 00:03:19,607
Wait, you're not...
62
00:03:19,674 --> 00:03:22,610
"Quit gherkin' me around."
63
00:03:22,677 --> 00:03:25,379
Oh, shit, you are King Pickle!
64
00:03:25,447 --> 00:03:27,381
Ey, you taught me how to pee standing up
65
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:29,383
and why not to be afraid of the moon.
66
00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:32,186
- But you are afraid of the moon.
- No dog... I, uh...
67
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,989
But why do I see it
during the day sometimes?
68
00:03:35,056 --> 00:03:39,293
Let's cut to the chase.
My sidekicks, Eggplant and Baby Corns,
69
00:03:39,361 --> 00:03:42,096
have decided to pursue other ventures.
70
00:03:42,164 --> 00:03:43,864
- Aw, that sucks.
- No, it doesn't,
71
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,700
because frankly I think
I'm looking at an upgrade.
72
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:51,038
Don't suppose you guys have any interest
in being, uh... television stars?
73
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,773
- Hell yeah!
- No!
74
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:54,909
Contrary to what you have seen today,
75
00:03:54,976 --> 00:03:57,111
we are in fact a hip hop super group.
76
00:03:57,179 --> 00:03:58,846
- Hey, come on, dude.
- Tell you what,
77
00:03:58,914 --> 00:04:00,714
why don't you come by
the studio tomorrow?
78
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,883
I'll show you what I have to offer.
79
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:06,086
Worst case scenario, you
get a free catered lunch.
80
00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:08,606
Catered, huh?
Your worst case scenario
81
00:04:08,607 --> 00:04:11,125
suddenly sounds like
a magical afternoon.
82
00:04:11,193 --> 00:04:15,095
We can't wait, sir.
83
00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:17,398
Now, if you will excuse me, Tripp,
84
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,401
I have another pressing
engagement to attend to.
85
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,404
Oh, yeah!
Let's hit some jumps, Eddie!
86
00:04:25,073 --> 00:04:26,740
That guy is a natural.
87
00:04:30,912 --> 00:04:32,673
Oh! That's Sticky Mouse,
88
00:04:32,674 --> 00:04:36,917
Celery Doug... and, oh, look,
look! That's Normal Norm.
89
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,519
Check out the empty slot at the end.
90
00:04:38,587 --> 00:04:40,054
That could be us, man.
91
00:04:40,121 --> 00:04:42,990
These are bunch of
has-beens and neverwases.
92
00:04:43,058 --> 00:04:45,726
Yo, a lot of fools got their start
doing children's entertainment.
93
00:04:45,794 --> 00:04:47,061
Name one.
94
00:04:47,128 --> 00:04:50,297
Justin Timberlake,
Miley Cyrus, Drake...
95
00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:54,835
and they all suck ass except for JT.
I mean, don't forget,
96
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:59,073
for every one beautiful timbersnake,
there's a whole grip of o-towns.
97
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:03,077
There they are. Look at ya.
The fearsome threesome.
98
00:05:03,144 --> 00:05:05,512
Man, you look like Godzilla's dick.
99
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:08,616
I can't believe I'm hanging out
with one of my childhood idols.
100
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,819
One time, when I was a kid,
I met the Ultimate Warrior.
101
00:05:11,887 --> 00:05:13,053
And he called me a Brown Asshole.
102
00:05:13,121 --> 00:05:16,724
Yeah, don't feel bad.
Mr. Rogers once called me a Shit Stain.
103
00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:21,030
Shit Stain.
Let me show you around.
104
00:05:22,108 --> 00:05:24,164
Come on, dude, get inside that Eggplant.
105
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:25,566
Hell, no!
106
00:05:25,634 --> 00:05:28,669
- Now, that is a Baby Corn.
- You really think so?
107
00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:31,005
Hey, that costume fits you like a glove,
108
00:05:31,072 --> 00:05:34,909
unlike OJ, am I right?
109
00:05:34,976 --> 00:05:37,311
I'm gonna have to sew in
a bigger crotch-kernel.
110
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,880
Oh, I'm sorry, Kristy.
111
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,682
Don't be.
112
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,751
- Holy shit.
- Hey, you know what?
113
00:05:43,818 --> 00:05:45,753
I think mine might be too small too
114
00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:49,723
- 'cause, you know, my dick...
- No, you're fine.
115
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:51,692
Ricky, peep this!
116
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:57,698
Dip a reuben into some garlic sauce,
and finish with some skittles.
117
00:05:57,766 --> 00:06:00,167
Terrible.
118
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,136
New reuben... dip into ranch,
119
00:06:02,203 --> 00:06:04,972
dust with some crumbled up cheetos.
120
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,974
Heavenly.
121
00:06:07,042 --> 00:06:08,809
We ain't gonna get
billed for this, are we?
122
00:06:08,877 --> 00:06:10,411
Last time I was at whole foods,
123
00:06:10,478 --> 00:06:12,746
I had a little snafu in
the prepared foods section.
124
00:06:12,814 --> 00:06:16,150
Long story short, black man
can't get a kale salad no more.
125
00:06:16,217 --> 00:06:18,252
Not gonna happen here, my man.
126
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,020
The grub's all free for talent.
127
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,323
I love the candy, but my Tia always said
128
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:24,191
that it's not nice to take the last one.
129
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,793
Rick, come here.
130
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,861
You wanna know what happens
when you eat the last one?
131
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,129
Please tell me.
132
00:06:29,197 --> 00:06:33,167
We. Get. You. More.
133
00:06:33,234 --> 00:06:35,669
Holy shit!
This is like Halloween,
134
00:06:35,737 --> 00:06:38,172
but with no drive-bys.
135
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:40,941
Here at team Pickle, we
work hard and we play hard.
136
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,477
I'm having a soiree tonight at my place.
137
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:45,779
- Love to have you.
- We'll be there!
138
00:06:45,847 --> 00:06:48,015
I always wanted to go inside
that big-ass Pickle jar.
139
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:49,650
I live in a real house.
140
00:06:49,718 --> 00:06:51,452
I know that. I was playing.
141
00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:54,421
Uh, you're a real person.
I understand... that.
142
00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:58,125
Look Tripp, unfortunately,
I can't do your stupid show.
143
00:06:58,193 --> 00:07:00,227
- Shut up, Chozen.
- I'll do your stupid show.
144
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,096
All right, why don't you
guys go check out the set
145
00:07:02,163 --> 00:07:04,698
while I talk to big John stud here?
146
00:07:04,766 --> 00:07:08,469
Hey, I know what you want.
Some of these, right?
147
00:07:08,536 --> 00:07:12,339
Uh, yeah, but not for singing
"tickle tickle, little pickle."
148
00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:14,708
Oh, yeah? "Tickle tickle"
bought me a Lamborghini.
149
00:07:14,776 --> 00:07:16,076
- What color?
- Red.
150
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,444
Like the tip of my dick.
151
00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:20,214
My Lamborghini gonna be
green like an appletini.
152
00:07:20,281 --> 00:07:22,082
Ey, yo, hold up.
153
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:26,820
Lamborghini...
rhymes with... appletini.
154
00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:30,190
See? This is what you do.
You're an artist.
155
00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:31,825
And that's why I brought you in.
156
00:07:31,893 --> 00:07:33,727
Man, I thought you wanted
me to be a Eggplant?
157
00:07:33,795 --> 00:07:35,929
I know this kiddie shit is beneath you.
158
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,365
But I'm getting ready
to make a move into
159
00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:40,634
the very lucrative teen market.
160
00:07:40,702 --> 00:07:44,004
You know, with the purple
drank and the ratchet twerking.
161
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:47,474
- That's where you come in.
- Teenagers do love me.
162
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:50,311
So, here's the deal.
Put on the suit and I'll
163
00:07:50,312 --> 00:07:53,080
throw the full power of
the Pickle behind you.
164
00:07:53,148 --> 00:07:56,884
Money, studios, producers...
whatever you need.
165
00:07:56,951 --> 00:08:01,688
Opportunity's knocking.
You gonna open that door?
166
00:08:01,756 --> 00:08:05,199
Well, I mean, Drake got
his start on a kid's show.
167
00:08:12,406 --> 00:08:14,307
There's a toothbrush
in the bowl right there.
168
00:08:14,375 --> 00:08:16,076
Shine up that mouth metal.
169
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:18,511
Oh, hey! Huh. Thought
you were someone else.
170
00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:21,181
New project,
"adult braces after dark."
171
00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:24,551
Boudoir shots of women
wearing nothing but tin grins.
172
00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:27,020
Sick. You got any more
of that dank purp'?
173
00:08:27,088 --> 00:08:30,156
Good news, bro. We booked up
a primo spot at the swap meet,
174
00:08:30,224 --> 00:08:31,958
right between the
knock off raiders' gear
175
00:08:32,026 --> 00:08:34,027
and Johnny Mo,
the tarantula dealer.
176
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:37,097
I'mma need to respectfully
decline your shitty opportunity.
177
00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:40,133
You see, me and the
guys got a TV gig with
178
00:08:40,134 --> 00:08:43,103
this baller, Tripp
Goldstein, AKA King Pickle.
179
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:45,272
- Ha, that's funny.
- What?
180
00:08:45,339 --> 00:08:47,307
Probably nothin'. This
dude I sell bath salts to
181
00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:49,709
is always carrying on about
a Pickle named Goldstein.
182
00:08:49,777 --> 00:08:52,145
Says he ruined his life.
Eh, must be a different guy.
183
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:55,181
Shit!
My six o'clock is here.
184
00:08:55,249 --> 00:08:58,685
Ooh, that's fine headgear.
You are taking it up a notch, sister.
185
00:08:58,753 --> 00:09:00,520
Thanks.
186
00:09:00,588 --> 00:09:02,589
Jimmy, if what you're saying is true,
187
00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:05,358
then we must interrogate
this drug addict immediately.
188
00:09:05,426 --> 00:09:08,061
Right on, amigo. I know
exactly where to find him.
189
00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:10,997
Wait... w-w-wait,
guys, what about me?
190
00:09:11,065 --> 00:09:13,466
There's a half a bottle of
christian brothers on the dash.
191
00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:16,069
Sit tight, have a drink, maybe
flick the old bean around.
192
00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:17,637
Hey, whatever you want.
193
00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:19,639
Sweet!
You guys are coming back, right?
194
00:09:19,707 --> 00:09:21,675
Just so you know, I've locked the RV!
195
00:09:21,742 --> 00:09:24,644
Do not panic, this is
for your protection!
196
00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:26,778
She's cool.
197
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:29,282
You think it's weird we
have to wear these costumes?
198
00:09:29,350 --> 00:09:32,185
Naw, dog, Tripp said
it was a work thing.
199
00:09:34,422 --> 00:09:38,758
Hey, glad you could make it!
Come on.
200
00:09:39,727 --> 00:09:41,161
Hey, good lookin' out.
201
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:44,097
- Ignore the plums, you got me?
- What?
202
00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:47,300
- Ricky!
- Hey, what's up, Kristy?
203
00:09:47,368 --> 00:09:48,635
I was like hoping you would be here.
204
00:09:48,703 --> 00:09:52,872
Of course! I wanted to get
to know you a little better.
205
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,041
- This is my husband, Rudy.
- Oh.
206
00:09:55,109 --> 00:09:58,979
- Big Rick. Stoked to finally meet you.
- Yeah, you too.
207
00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:01,881
I can't wait to see you
bang the shit out of my wife.
208
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,333
- Say, what?
- Just promise me you
209
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:07,287
- won't go easy on that papaya.
- No, no, no.
210
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:10,023
- Are you serious right now?
- Kristy, Rudy,
211
00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:11,791
could you give me a
minute with the guys here?
212
00:10:11,859 --> 00:10:13,126
Yeah, sure.
213
00:10:13,194 --> 00:10:15,929
Hey, but we got dibs on this one.
214
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:19,299
Can you please tell me what
the hell is goin' on right now?
215
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,201
- It's a cuck party.
- Cuck?
216
00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:24,137
It's short for cuckold.
Basically, these husbands get off
217
00:10:24,205 --> 00:10:27,741
on watching their wives
have sex with other guys.
218
00:10:27,808 --> 00:10:29,809
Eh, everybody has a good time, you know?
219
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:31,277
But what's with the costumes?
220
00:10:31,345 --> 00:10:33,246
It's my own little twist.
221
00:10:33,314 --> 00:10:37,550
Tripp, get in here!
Linda's kitty ain't gonna pummel itself.
222
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,085
All right. If you'll excuse me,
223
00:10:39,153 --> 00:10:42,188
I gotta take the "D"
train to pound pound.
224
00:10:42,256 --> 00:10:47,293
We've been to some wild parties,
but this shit is dirty.
225
00:10:47,895 --> 00:10:50,730
Eh, I don't know, dog.
That shit seems pretty cool to me.
226
00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:52,632
But there's a dude watching.
227
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,768
I grew up in a two bedroom
house with four brothers.
228
00:10:54,835 --> 00:10:58,149
There's always a dude watching.
229
00:10:58,439 --> 00:11:01,007
Spare change? Hey!
Spare... spare change?
230
00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:03,209
What's up, Zack?
How's Rrebecca?
231
00:11:03,277 --> 00:11:06,212
She stole some nibbles out
of a hot dog I was saving.
232
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,448
Had to put her in the little jail.
233
00:11:08,516 --> 00:11:11,718
- Jimmy, you got some weird friends.
- Yeah, who are you?
234
00:11:11,786 --> 00:11:13,286
My partner here has got some questions.
235
00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:15,188
Tell me everything you
know about the big Pickle.
236
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:17,157
Let me guess...
237
00:11:17,224 --> 00:11:19,726
- you're the new Eggplant.
- How'd you know?
238
00:11:19,794 --> 00:11:23,163
Takes one to know one.
Eggplant number 4.
239
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:27,133
Before that, I was the front man
of the Monkey Cats.
240
00:11:27,201 --> 00:11:30,570
A number of leading Ska-zines
called them "ones to watch."
241
00:11:30,638 --> 00:11:32,505
Tripp dug our act.
242
00:11:32,573 --> 00:11:35,375
Said he could make us
mightier than the bosstones.
243
00:11:35,443 --> 00:11:39,079
All we had to do was prance around
in the veggie suits for a while.
244
00:11:39,146 --> 00:11:41,852
- Sound familiar?
- Vaguely.
245
00:11:41,887 --> 00:11:44,751
Except I don't play
no bullshit white reggae.
246
00:11:44,819 --> 00:11:46,886
You obviously don't
know anything about Ska.
247
00:11:46,954 --> 00:11:48,922
Yeah, and I'm trying
to keep it that way.
248
00:11:48,989 --> 00:11:51,624
Okay, okay. Simmer down.
Easy, ladies.
249
00:11:51,692 --> 00:11:53,159
So what's Goldstein's game?
250
00:11:53,227 --> 00:11:56,863
He preys on you when you're desperate,
sucks you in with empty promises.
251
00:11:56,931 --> 00:12:02,302
Then, he owns you, all your music,
everything, forever.
252
00:12:02,369 --> 00:12:06,294
"Forever, ever?"
Outkast jokes.
253
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:08,775
But for real,
why didn't you just bolt on his ass?
254
00:12:08,843 --> 00:12:10,477
You don't think we tried?
255
00:12:10,544 --> 00:12:12,278
The contracts were air tight.
256
00:12:12,346 --> 00:12:15,315
Well, my boy's not dumb
enough to sign anything.
257
00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:17,517
Aw, man, tell me you didn't.
258
00:12:17,585 --> 00:12:21,454
He's got you, bro.
You're nothin' but a rat in a cage.
259
00:12:23,257 --> 00:12:26,192
Shut up, Rebecca!
Not everything's about you!
260
00:12:29,396 --> 00:12:30,797
Oh, yeah.
261
00:12:30,865 --> 00:12:33,133
Ricky, look at me.
I need your eyes right here.
262
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,034
- This is important.
- Yes, Rudy?
263
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:36,736
I'm counting on you tonight.
264
00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,771
I don't want my wife
with a two-pump chump.
265
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,273
I won't let you down, Rudy.
I promise.
266
00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:42,675
You either, Kristy.
267
00:12:42,743 --> 00:12:45,979
So, you having a good time tonight?
268
00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:48,114
Uh, yeah, it's pretty cool.
269
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:51,818
We've always had a fantasy
that involves a... you know...
270
00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:55,088
- A vegetable?
- No.
271
00:12:55,156 --> 00:12:56,289
A black.
272
00:12:58,292 --> 00:13:00,827
Yeah, people don't really
say it like that anymore.
273
00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,962
I'm sorry, ladies.
I got a girlfriend,
274
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,098
and I cannot plow you in
front of your husbands.
275
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,699
Oh, we're not married.
276
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,868
Our thing is having
sex with each other...
277
00:13:08,936 --> 00:13:12,305
- while you watch.
- Oh. Hang on a sec.
278
00:13:12,373 --> 00:13:15,808
Siri, is it cheatin' if I watch
two freaky women have sex?
279
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:19,212
I'm sorry.
I don't understand the question.
280
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,348
Good enough for me.
281
00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:26,553
Am I doing okay?
How's this, Rudy?
282
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:28,288
Oh, you're killing it, buddy!
283
00:13:28,355 --> 00:13:29,789
You sure you haven't done this before?
284
00:13:29,857 --> 00:13:31,641
No, I've had, uh... uh, sex before,
285
00:13:31,642 --> 00:13:35,428
but not under these circum...
circumstances.
286
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:38,364
Yeah, Kristy, talk to daddy.
Is he the best you've ever had?
287
00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:40,466
Hell yeah, and you know this.
288
00:13:40,534 --> 00:13:42,368
- Whoo!
- So proud of you, man!
289
00:13:42,436 --> 00:13:47,040
Thank you. It's so nice to have
someone believe in to me.
290
00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:48,341
Aw, yeah, get it, Baby Corn.
291
00:13:48,409 --> 00:13:52,011
Every. Last. Bit of it.
292
00:13:56,483 --> 00:14:00,320
Hey, nice to see you, stud.
Missed a great party tonight.
293
00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:02,288
God, look at the size of those feet!
294
00:14:02,356 --> 00:14:06,359
- You must have a huge hog.
- Why, yes I do. Thank you.
295
00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:09,862
So, I was in the neighborhood, and
wanted to holler at you right quick.
296
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:13,099
Yo, I just booked a
dope-ass rap gig on Sunday.
297
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,767
Need to coordinate the deets with you.
298
00:14:14,835 --> 00:14:17,437
Oh, buddy,
that's gonna be a problem.
299
00:14:17,504 --> 00:14:20,039
I'd love to let you do it, but
we got rehearsals on Sunday.
300
00:14:20,107 --> 00:14:21,841
- And there's no exceptions.
- Oh, okay.
301
00:14:21,909 --> 00:14:24,210
Well, me and the club
owner are super cool,
302
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:26,012
so I can probably just
bump it to Tuesday.
303
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,748
Yeah, again, it's not
gonna work, you know?
304
00:14:28,816 --> 00:14:31,417
All right, well, how
about you pick the day?
305
00:14:31,485 --> 00:14:34,687
Look, maybe you should
focus on being the Eggplant
306
00:14:34,755 --> 00:14:37,523
and put the hip hop
stuff on hold for a bit.
307
00:14:37,591 --> 00:14:40,860
Yeah. But you know we was
talking about doing both...
308
00:14:40,928 --> 00:14:43,029
No... well, you can't!
You can't do both!
309
00:14:43,097 --> 00:14:46,424
How many times you gonna ask
me the same goddamn thing?
310
00:14:47,268 --> 00:14:50,336
Sorry, okay? I think I've had
a little too much cialis.
311
00:14:50,404 --> 00:14:53,273
There is literally no blood
going to my brain right now.
312
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:54,774
You should see the tip of my dick.
313
00:14:54,842 --> 00:14:56,776
Looks like a beef steak tomato.
314
00:14:56,844 --> 00:15:00,713
- You get what I'm saying though, right?
- Yeah, loud and clear.
315
00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:02,548
All right. See?
316
00:15:02,616 --> 00:15:06,052
That's a good talk.
See you in the morning, champ.
317
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,855
Wow.
They get dumber every year.
318
00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:11,090
- I know.
- You know what?
319
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:12,925
I was lookin' for that ashtray.
320
00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:18,578
You going down, Pickle.
321
00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:20,300
Racist.
322
00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:29,931
This one's a nurse,
this one's a teacher.
323
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:32,234
And here's how they
make love to each other.
324
00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:35,153
That's beautiful, dog.
Hey, come here.
325
00:15:35,154 --> 00:15:36,271
- You gotta see this.
- Pass.
326
00:15:36,339 --> 00:15:39,741
There's my guys!
Hey, you know all your lines?
327
00:15:39,809 --> 00:15:41,776
Live T.V., fellas.
328
00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:44,379
- You don't get a second chance.
- We got this.
329
00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:48,183
Now, get out there and give
those kids somethin' to remember.
330
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,318
Yes, sir.
331
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,058
Okay, kids, let's see those smiles.
332
00:15:57,126 --> 00:15:59,594
We're coming back live in three, two...
333
00:16:01,297 --> 00:16:04,065
Hey, I hope you kids
are ready for some fun!
334
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,535
Because guess who's
back on the show today?
335
00:16:07,603 --> 00:16:10,472
E-e-Eggplant and the Baby Corns!
336
00:16:10,539 --> 00:16:13,375
Look what I got, Baby Corn.
A can of soda.
337
00:16:13,442 --> 00:16:17,479
- It looks so yummy!
- You know the rules, Baby Corn.
338
00:16:17,546 --> 00:16:21,049
We can only have soda when
mom or dad says it's okay.
339
00:16:21,117 --> 00:16:23,518
But they're not, like,
right here, right now.
340
00:16:23,586 --> 00:16:26,454
I know, let's ask Eggplant.
341
00:16:26,522 --> 00:16:28,657
He always knows the right thing to do.
342
00:16:28,724 --> 00:16:32,327
If we're lucky,
maybe he'll sing us a song about it.
343
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:42,470
Hey, kids,
following the rules is bullshit.
344
00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:49,377
♪ Attention, children,
open up your ears ♪
345
00:16:49,445 --> 00:16:51,780
♪ Chozen droppin' knowledge
they don't want you to hear ♪
346
00:16:51,848 --> 00:16:53,615
♪ authority is a lie ♪
347
00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:55,517
♪ might as well just get high ♪
348
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,319
♪ 'cause we all gonna die ♪
349
00:16:57,386 --> 00:16:59,421
♪ let me impress upon
impressionable minds ♪
350
00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:00,856
♪ you gotta stay on the grind ♪
351
00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,624
♪ fate don't favor the kind ♪
352
00:17:02,692 --> 00:17:04,793
♪ and if you get advice
from your bitch of a mother ♪
353
00:17:04,861 --> 00:17:08,029
♪ let it go in one ear
and straight out the other ♪
354
00:17:08,097 --> 00:17:10,565
♪ children of the world,
rise up and fight ♪
355
00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:13,468
♪ stay up past your
bedtime every night ♪
356
00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:16,138
♪ the Easter bunny's fake,
Santa Claus is dead ♪
357
00:17:16,205 --> 00:17:18,874
♪ all your parents' lies,
fillin' up your head ♪
358
00:17:18,941 --> 00:17:21,309
♪ join me now as we stake our claim ♪
359
00:17:21,377 --> 00:17:23,545
♪ we takin' what we want
without an ounce of shame ♪
360
00:17:23,613 --> 00:17:26,214
♪ population six billion
all across the land ♪
361
00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:29,584
♪ but not one single kid
gives a good goddamn ♪
362
00:17:35,424 --> 00:17:39,127
- Hey, give me the mic!
- Tune in tomorrow for a song about
363
00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:43,474
sharing dildos and what
really happened on 9/11.
364
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,282
Hey you. Give me that!
365
00:17:46,635 --> 00:17:49,037
Get the hell out, you
ungrateful pieces of shit!
366
00:17:49,105 --> 00:17:51,673
- It's not our fault!
- Yeah, Chozen did it!
367
00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:55,010
Damn straight!
368
00:17:55,077 --> 00:17:57,479
So, I'm guessing we fired, right?
The deal's just done?
369
00:17:57,546 --> 00:17:59,080
You think it's that easy?
370
00:17:59,148 --> 00:18:02,050
I got my hooks in you,
and I am not letting go!
371
00:18:02,118 --> 00:18:05,620
Your music career is over.
I own you.
372
00:18:05,688 --> 00:18:07,389
Hmm, I thought you might say that.
373
00:18:10,092 --> 00:18:13,128
That's him. That's
the man who touched me.
374
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:16,231
Kristy, kill the contract.
375
00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:19,567
You a shitty little kid, and I love it!
376
00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:21,770
Say good-bye to children's television,
377
00:18:21,837 --> 00:18:24,406
and all the sweet pussy
that comes with it.
378
00:18:24,473 --> 00:18:28,576
Ricky, I'm very,
very disappointed in you.
379
00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:32,147
I'm sorry, dog.
I never wanted to let you down.
380
00:18:33,616 --> 00:18:34,749
- Hey, what was that shit?
- Whoa.
381
00:18:34,817 --> 00:18:38,386
You better check yourself, Crisco.
Tripp was playin' us.
382
00:18:38,454 --> 00:18:41,323
He straight up told me that
he did not give a rat's ass
383
00:18:41,324 --> 00:18:43,958
- about our hip hop careers.
- Careers? Man...
384
00:18:44,026 --> 00:18:46,661
We ain't even had a real gig.
Not one.
385
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:49,464
Somehow playing with
you has cost me money.
386
00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:51,866
- This was our shot!
- Listen to you!
387
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:56,271
Brainwashed by the man,
blinded by sexual pleasures.
388
00:18:56,338 --> 00:18:58,039
You just don't get it, man.
389
00:18:58,107 --> 00:18:59,441
Why you always got
to mess it up, Chozen?
390
00:18:59,508 --> 00:19:01,209
People like me here, bro!
391
00:19:01,277 --> 00:19:04,045
I was getting laid.
I hit that panocha hard, dog.
392
00:19:04,113 --> 00:19:06,915
- So hard...
- But I did this for us...
393
00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:10,853
Shut up!
Enough man, we done.
394
00:19:11,687 --> 00:19:14,222
Good-bye, Chozen.
395
00:19:20,262 --> 00:19:22,130
Dude, I got some news.
396
00:19:22,198 --> 00:19:24,265
- Holy shit!
- Ow!
397
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,601
Great, band's all here.
You got insurance, right?
398
00:19:26,669 --> 00:19:28,603
- Course, I got insurance.
- Jackpot!
399
00:19:28,671 --> 00:19:32,073
Aw, damn, my head. I-I think
I have, like, a concussion.
400
00:19:32,141 --> 00:19:33,475
Ricky, let the man speak.
401
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:35,743
I hate white people so much right now.
402
00:19:35,811 --> 00:19:37,812
Well, an old concert
promoter-buddy of mine
403
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,981
saw your tele-shenanigans...
want to book you
404
00:19:40,049 --> 00:19:41,883
for the biggest music
festival of the summer.
405
00:19:41,951 --> 00:19:43,852
- Hey, dog, Broken Spear?
- Bullshit.
406
00:19:43,919 --> 00:19:46,054
Oh, don't you play
with my emotions, Jimmy.
407
00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:48,212
Look, if I wanted to play
with your emotions, you'd be
408
00:19:48,349 --> 00:19:52,393
pregnant and homeless by now.
Bottom line, we got the gig.
409
00:19:55,965 --> 00:19:58,992
- Yo, never doubt me!
- Uh, I'll be right back.
410
00:19:59,535 --> 00:20:03,538
- Eh, kid's excited. Who can blame him?
- So, can I go home now?
411
00:20:03,606 --> 00:20:06,772
Or you guys want to order a pizza?
412
00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:13,548
Ja-pow! Domino!
I win... again.
413
00:20:13,616 --> 00:20:15,283
My money!
414
00:20:17,386 --> 00:20:19,587
Clean this up, old man.
415
00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:21,890
Also, happy birthday, Dad.
This was nice.
416
00:20:21,957 --> 00:20:25,627
Hey, boss, the new posters just came in.
417
00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:28,063
How they look?
418
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:31,065
Black, move your black ass thumb.
419
00:20:36,939 --> 00:20:40,441
Weebles might wobble,
but they don't fall down.
420
00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:44,807
sync & correction by f1nc0
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