1 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:13,099 Translated By Original Resync By T7 2 00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:16,146 [keyboard typing] 3 00:00:18,616 --> 00:00:19,750 [metallic click] 4 00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:22,486 [fluorescent lights buzzing] 5 00:00:22,488 --> 00:00:24,488 [keyboard typing] 6 00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:29,560 [♪ Reto: "All Day and Through the Night" ♪] 7 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,795 ♪ Uh huh ♪ 8 00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:34,731 ♪ Hey ♪ 9 00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:37,801 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 10 00:00:37,803 --> 00:00:40,704 ♪ We got to make it right ♪ 11 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:44,041 ♪ We're gonna keep on going ♪ 12 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:47,110 ♪ All day and to the night ♪ 13 00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:50,547 ♪ You know we got to work it ♪ 14 00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:53,517 ♪ We really gotta move ♪ 15 00:00:53,519 --> 00:00:56,687 ♪ We had a will to do it ♪ 16 00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:59,957 ♪ We got the attitude ♪ 17 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,892 ♪ All right ♪ 18 00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:04,695 ♪ We got to, We got to get it started ♪ 19 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:07,931 ♪ We got to make it work, work, gonna keep it going ♪ 20 00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:09,833 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 21 00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:11,635 ♪ We got to get started ♪ 22 00:01:11,637 --> 00:01:14,104 ♪ We're going all day and to the night ♪ 23 00:01:14,106 --> 00:01:16,573 ♪♪ 24 00:01:16,575 --> 00:01:19,776 ♪ We gotta get it ♪ 25 00:01:19,778 --> 00:01:22,880 ♪ I said let's go ♪ 26 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,649 ♪ We gotta get it ♪ 27 00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,885 ♪♪ 28 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:30,888 ♪ I said come on ♪ 29 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:33,657 ♪ All right ♪ 30 00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,592 ♪ I said, I said, I said, come on ♪ 31 00:01:35,594 --> 00:01:37,127 ♪♪ 32 00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:40,531 ♪ Hey ♪ 33 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,100 ♪ We got to get it started ♪ 34 00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:47,738 ♪ We're gonna keep it going all day and to the night ♪ 35 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:50,007 [music fades into dance track] 36 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,910 we're at the One-Eyed Gypsy one night, right? 37 00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:53,944 We're a little bit ripped. 38 00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:55,245 No, we were hammered. 39 00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:57,581 I was buzzed, he was hammered. Whatever. 40 00:01:57,583 --> 00:01:58,749 We were ready for a little bit of action, 41 00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:02,953 We just came from, uh, 80s night at 107. 42 00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:05,289 We were in a... 43 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,824 Echo and the Bunnymen, do you know that band? 44 00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:09,793 No, what do they sing? 45 00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:11,962 Uh...oh! 46 00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:13,797 [sings tune of song unrecognizably] 47 00:02:13,799 --> 00:02:16,934 How the fuck am I supposed to tell what song that is? 48 00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,235 Dude, you know what? Fuck off. 49 00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,037 I'm an actor, not a singer. All right? 50 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,573 Anyway. Pete and I decided 51 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:23,774 we were just going to go for it with the ladies. 52 00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,075 Maybe you shouldn't tell this. 53 00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:28,745 It's okay. I love hearing about your past. 54 00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:29,613 You do? 55 00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:32,783 Of course. I love you. 56 00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:35,686 - And I love you. - Hmm. 57 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,721 [loud kissing] 58 00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:38,855 Anyway. 59 00:02:38,857 --> 00:02:40,691 So we're doing our thing. 60 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:43,126 Suddenly, I spot these two Indian babes. 61 00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:46,630 Pete later on discovers that the two Indian babes 62 00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:47,798 are actually Indian dudes. 63 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,266 Oh no no, that's a different story. 64 00:02:49,268 --> 00:02:50,934 Andre used to date an Indian babe. 65 00:02:50,936 --> 00:02:52,002 That's right. 66 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:53,337 Lovely ladies. 67 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,838 Anyway, I'm telling you. 68 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,273 These fucking chicks were hot. 69 00:02:56,275 --> 00:02:58,075 One was hot, one was not. 70 00:02:58,077 --> 00:02:58,976 She was cute. 71 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,144 You are so fucking insensitive. 72 00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:02,613 Would you let him tell the story? 73 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:07,818 So the one sexy Indian chick and her hairy friend 74 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,721 happen to make eye contact with us from across the bar. 75 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,090 So I look over and I, uh, signal them 76 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,925 to come on over. 77 00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:17,861 And they dance on over you know Kama Sutra, some shit 78 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:20,631 and the hot one, she's ready to go. 79 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,300 And Pete here--he thinks she's coming over to him. 80 00:03:23,302 --> 00:03:25,869 She sits down next to me. 81 00:03:25,871 --> 00:03:29,373 I'm telling you guys, he's fucking smoking. 82 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,042 you know, starts coming on to me and shit. 83 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:33,343 Like in what way? 84 00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:34,845 Well she starts saying things like... 85 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,413 You have nice lips. 86 00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:38,882 Is it bad if I want to kiss you in public? 87 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,852 Bad for who? Not for me. 88 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:44,087 And being the gentleman that I am. 89 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:48,225 I lean over and I give her these luscious lips. 90 00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:49,993 Pete and the hairy chick, they're just watching us. 91 00:03:49,995 --> 00:03:51,762 Finally, Pete says... 92 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:53,697 Okay. I gotta get up early for work. 93 00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:55,332 Wha-what do you do? 94 00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:57,067 Uh, I'm a trader. 95 00:03:57,069 --> 00:04:01,271 Ohh, mind if I join you? 96 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:05,075 Lucky for me, 97 00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:07,277 Pete took one for the team. 98 00:04:07,279 --> 00:04:08,912 You had sex with her? 99 00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,180 - Oh yeah. - No. I didn't. 100 00:04:10,182 --> 00:04:11,381 - [scoffs] - I didn't have se-- 101 00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:12,349 Remember the brush burn? 102 00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:13,350 Beth! Babe! Wait! 103 00:04:13,352 --> 00:04:15,419 Dude, you're such a douche. 104 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,421 Whoops. Anyway. 105 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,256 So, I lean into the Indian chick. 106 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,425 I'm like, wanna go? 107 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,993 Why not? 108 00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:25,696 So she grabs me, pulls me into the alley. 109 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:28,799 She says, I want to taste your hard candy. 110 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,134 And I'm like, my what? 111 00:04:31,136 --> 00:04:33,970 Your hard candy. 112 00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:37,841 So I'm like, fuck. Savor the flavor. Taste the rainbow. 113 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:41,011 She gives me the fucking knob slob right there 114 00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:41,912 in the alley. 115 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:45,082 After that, we go back to her place, 116 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,851 drag her comforter out, take it up to the roof, 117 00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,119 seal the deal right there. 118 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:52,789 My bare ass exposed to all of downtown. 119 00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:54,024 Quite pretty. I got a nice ass. 120 00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,193 Can you use it in your script? 121 00:04:57,995 --> 00:04:58,495 [snaps fingers] Dean! 122 00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,030 Hmm? 123 00:05:00,032 --> 00:05:01,732 I'm giving you fucking gold here. 124 00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,066 I'm sorry, man. 125 00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:07,938 Ohh, she's giving you E. 126 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,973 E? 127 00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,142 Energy. 128 00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:13,410 It's my new word. 129 00:05:13,412 --> 00:05:15,779 Whatever. She's giving it to you. 130 00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:16,513 No, she's not. 131 00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:18,381 - Andre? - Serious E, kid. 132 00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:19,950 Capital E, kid. 133 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,785 - Hello. - [all] Tess! 134 00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:22,519 - Hey. - Hi, love. 135 00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:25,088 You are looking quite lovely tonight, Tess. 136 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,156 Yeah, okay. Thanks. 137 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:28,859 Um, what's the situation? Hm? 138 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,494 Well, Dean here was about to go to work. 139 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,928 Would you stop? 140 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:32,963 Really? Who? 141 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,397 Nothing. 142 00:05:35,099 --> 00:05:36,833 Back? 143 00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:37,868 Oh, blondie? 144 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:41,872 You know what? The dress is a little slutty, Dean. But... 145 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,473 Dean, she's got talent. 146 00:05:43,475 --> 00:05:46,877 I would, but I already have my lady for the night. 147 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,879 Oh yeah? Who's the lucky girl? 148 00:05:51,149 --> 00:05:53,250 What are you doing? 149 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,785 What's he doing? 150 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,052 He's giving you E. 151 00:05:56,054 --> 00:05:57,020 E? 152 00:05:57,022 --> 00:05:57,554 E. 153 00:05:57,556 --> 00:06:00,957 Oh. Right. 154 00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:05,128 Uh huh. 155 00:06:07,565 --> 00:06:09,166 I don't think so, buddy. 156 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,367 - All right. - Oh. 157 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:11,468 You save me a dance 158 00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,036 and I'm gonna go change this music. 159 00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:14,037 Of course. 160 00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:15,138 [Jay laughs] 161 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:16,306 Damn, kid. 162 00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:18,041 That was, that was subtle, man. 163 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,076 Hey, I'm in it to win it. Okay? 164 00:06:20,078 --> 00:06:22,946 These people aren't here to play fuckin' Yahtzee. 165 00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:24,014 They're here to get laid. 166 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:28,919 Look, all this talking is just foreplay. It's bullshit. 167 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:29,586 Back me up, Andre. 168 00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:35,492 We were just fulfilling our primal needs, like cavemen. 169 00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:36,993 Except for in prehistoric days, 170 00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:42,132 They just exchanged a few grunts and fucked. 171 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:44,234 So basically, you're saying that the only difference 172 00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:47,070 between us and cavemen is the evolution of language? 173 00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:50,907 Which is ironic because language is that very thing 174 00:06:50,909 --> 00:06:53,043 that usually gets in the way of us getting laid. 175 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:54,411 Pssh. Where do you come up with this shit? 176 00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:56,513 Little place called the world wide web, my friend. 177 00:06:56,515 --> 00:06:58,215 - Gay porn. - Yeah. 178 00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:01,218 Now. Get out there and take what's yours. 179 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,086 Such an asshole. 180 00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,588 And see if she's got a friend. 181 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,456 Two friends. 182 00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:09,893 Here we go. Ah! Ah! Ohh. 183 00:07:09,895 --> 00:07:11,127 [laughs] 184 00:07:11,129 --> 00:07:12,896 Hey! Good job! 185 00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,130 [laughs] 186 00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:17,934 We have an announcement. 187 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:19,069 Oh yeah? What's that? 188 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,204 We are no longer quarreling. 189 00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:24,574 That's a fucking relief. 190 00:07:24,576 --> 00:07:27,110 [speaking Spanish] 191 00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:31,248 Why haven't you not called me? It's been two days! 192 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,115 [laughs] 193 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:33,283 The kid's been busy. 194 00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:34,651 Well, I can find me another man. 195 00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:37,187 Oh, I know you can, baby. 196 00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:38,989 Baby? 197 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,090 Baby. 198 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,224 Oh, baby. 199 00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:44,661 - Aww. Baby. - Baby. 200 00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:49,165 [loud kissing] 201 00:07:49,167 --> 00:07:50,367 I missed you. 202 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:52,135 So much. 203 00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:54,304 [clears throat] 204 00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:57,140 Okay. Excuse me. 205 00:07:57,142 --> 00:07:58,408 Taxi! 206 00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,143 Taxi! 207 00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:02,012 Jesus. 208 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,281 What happened to my dance? 209 00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:06,216 I had to get out of there. 210 00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:08,018 You never dance with me. 211 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,153 I think you'll get over it. 212 00:08:10,155 --> 00:08:11,254 [clears throat] 213 00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:14,457 Sara's a crutch, Dean. 214 00:08:15,293 --> 00:08:17,260 Who said I was going to Sara's? 215 00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:19,496 Uh huh. Where are you going then? 216 00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:23,600 Uh huh. Okay, you know what? Whatever. 217 00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:25,201 You've been warned. 218 00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:26,970 And you know that I love you for it. 219 00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,104 Mhmm. 220 00:08:28,706 --> 00:08:31,141 Contact. 221 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,243 - Bye, babe. - Bye. 222 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:42,052 [intercom] Next stop, Union Station. 223 00:08:45,156 --> 00:08:47,590 Are you really going to Sara's, Dean? 224 00:08:49,727 --> 00:08:52,295 Seriously, dude? She's kind of a ho. 225 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,101 Look to your right, Dean. 226 00:08:58,103 --> 00:08:59,703 Excuse me? 227 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,237 Look to your right. 228 00:09:03,474 --> 00:09:06,109 That is love. 229 00:09:07,244 --> 00:09:09,212 Are you lonely? 230 00:09:15,519 --> 00:09:17,420 That's because you're alone. 231 00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:19,155 Oh, yes. Yes, yes. 232 00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:21,124 [moaning] Yes, oh yeah! 233 00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,225 [groans with pleasure] 234 00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:27,397 [breathing heavily] 235 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:28,765 [blows raspberry] 236 00:09:34,672 --> 00:09:37,007 - Hey, Sara? - Yeah? 237 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,141 Have you ever been in love? 238 00:09:38,143 --> 00:09:40,276 You ever think about it at all? 239 00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:44,014 Just about love. You know, about being in love. 240 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:45,415 With you? 241 00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:48,651 Oh, not necessarily with me. Just in general. 242 00:09:48,653 --> 00:09:50,153 Not really. 243 00:09:52,356 --> 00:09:53,723 What if I said it? 244 00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,058 Say what? 245 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,593 What, what if I said I loved you? 246 00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:57,594 Do you? 247 00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:58,428 What if I said it? 248 00:09:58,430 --> 00:09:59,362 Why say it? 249 00:09:59,364 --> 00:10:02,265 Cause you wouldn't mean it. 250 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:05,268 Okay, so what if I meant it, what would you say? 251 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,202 I don't know. 252 00:10:06,204 --> 00:10:07,303 Think about it. 253 00:10:07,305 --> 00:10:12,275 I think we've got a pretty good thing going on here. 254 00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,710 You do? 255 00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:15,045 Of course I do. 256 00:10:18,282 --> 00:10:21,351 [♪ soft music ♪] 257 00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:27,657 ♪♪ 258 00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:35,698 ♪♪ 259 00:10:41,539 --> 00:10:43,606 ♪♪ 260 00:10:48,646 --> 00:10:50,713 ♪♪ 261 00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:59,122 Huh? Oh, no no. No thanks, man. 262 00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:00,123 You buy for girl? 263 00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:01,324 Uh, no thanks. No girl. 264 00:11:01,326 --> 00:11:03,460 Ah. You buy for boy? 265 00:11:04,295 --> 00:11:06,463 No, I buy for a girl. 266 00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:08,331 Ah. You buy for a girl. 267 00:11:12,303 --> 00:11:15,371 All right. Here. Let's see what I got here. 268 00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:18,308 K. All right. There you go. 269 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,542 Ah. Arigato. 270 00:11:19,544 --> 00:11:20,510 Sure. 271 00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:27,283 [♪ soft music ♪] 272 00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:32,722 ♪♪ 273 00:12:17,535 --> 00:12:19,602 ♪♪ 274 00:12:24,675 --> 00:12:28,378 [Dean voice-over] Interior. The Cave. Night. 275 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:32,549 Pick up with Jake wearing all black, 276 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:39,522 weaving his way through the uber-hip crowd. 277 00:12:39,524 --> 00:12:43,860 Another hopeless night in La La Land. 278 00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:46,729 That is until he sees her: 279 00:12:46,731 --> 00:12:48,565 A Siren. 280 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,300 Goddess. 281 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:52,368 A Muse. 282 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:56,573 Call her Kat. 283 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,641 ♪♪ 284 00:13:04,248 --> 00:13:05,882 I love you. 285 00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:07,450 Are you fucking kidding me? 286 00:13:07,452 --> 00:13:09,819 This dude's gonna tell her that he loves her 287 00:13:09,821 --> 00:13:11,321 even though they've never met? 288 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,323 No. It's actually meant to be symbolic 289 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,924 of Jake's need to find love. 290 00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:15,992 Let me rephrase the question. 291 00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,428 Does Jake have a vagina? 292 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,662 Oh, you mean is he a transexual? 293 00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:21,464 Or maybe he's thinking 294 00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:23,433 about becoming a transexual. 295 00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:25,435 Or maybe he got his deal lobbed off 296 00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:28,471 before they could dig out a vag or something. 297 00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:30,240 Yeah, yeah. But they left him with a sack. 298 00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:31,608 But with only one ball. 299 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,010 What the fuck are you guys talking about? 300 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:35,745 Jake is a dude. 301 00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:38,314 Fully equipped. The most manly of men. 302 00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:39,349 Right. 303 00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:40,650 Who wants to fall in love? 304 00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:41,951 So what? There are plenty of guys are age 305 00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:43,019 who are looking for love. 306 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,354 Sure there are. 307 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,555 Name one. 308 00:13:50,761 --> 00:13:52,462 Fuck you guys. 309 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,563 Were you just-- 310 00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:57,567 - It was a self-point. - It was a self-point? 311 00:13:57,569 --> 00:14:00,937 Hello. And welcome back to Here Comes the Bride. 312 00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:03,773 Where our bride to be is about to ask 313 00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:05,742 one last question 314 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:09,045 before asking the lucky man to marry her! 315 00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,613 Groom number one: 316 00:14:10,615 --> 00:14:14,317 What will you do to make me fall in love with you? 317 00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,653 Well, I'm a live life on the edge kinda guy, 318 00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:19,022 so I think we'd probably do a lot of skydiving 319 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,624 or bungee jumping or off roaring in my new 320 00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:22,992 4-wheel drive. 321 00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:25,561 Oh. Ha! I like that. 322 00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:26,863 Groom number two? 323 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,631 Well, since I'm a personal trainer, my plan is 324 00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:32,669 Oh, personal trainer? That's really original. 325 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,537 Sounds sweaty. 326 00:14:34,539 --> 00:14:38,675 What will you do to make me fall in love with you? 327 00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,711 to make somebody fall in love with you. 328 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:44,547 For the simple reason that love is predestined. 329 00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:46,616 It's about fate. It's about magic. 330 00:14:46,618 --> 00:14:48,551 It's about are we meant to be together? 331 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,554 And while I don't know the future, I can offer you this: 332 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,623 If you're my destiny, 333 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,825 I will love you with everything that I've got. 334 00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:59,395 [phone rings] 335 00:14:59,397 --> 00:15:01,564 Love that answer. 336 00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,032 Yeah, but he won't get picked. 337 00:15:03,034 --> 00:15:03,933 Do you wanna know why? 338 00:15:03,935 --> 00:15:05,835 Hmm. Cause he's a geek? 339 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:07,870 Well, yeah that, and the fact that he's losing his hair. 340 00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:09,739 See, the chicks on this show know exactly 341 00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:11,407 who they're gonna marry the second the guys 342 00:15:11,409 --> 00:15:13,710 Wait? Are you saying that people that 343 00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:16,612 go on dating shows are shallow? Shocking. 344 00:15:16,614 --> 00:15:19,482 to men who have healthy heads of hair. 345 00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:22,552 It's a sign that their offspring will survive 346 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:23,753 in the next generation. 347 00:15:23,755 --> 00:15:25,355 Genetically speaking. 348 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,623 Are we really qualified to be speaking genetically? 349 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:30,126 I wouldn't do so well on this show. 350 00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:32,729 What are you talking about? You have a head full of hair. 351 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,063 Yeah, but my grandfather was bald, 352 00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,565 so I know it's coming. 353 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,667 Only a finite amount of time left for me to mate. 354 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:39,635 What are you, a chimp? 355 00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:41,771 I'm telling you -- it's all over for me. 356 00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:44,640 Bald at 25. So tragic. 357 00:15:44,642 --> 00:15:46,075 What? Really? Wha? I'm bald? 358 00:15:46,077 --> 00:15:47,610 I'm kidding, you punk. 359 00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:48,745 - Thinning? - I'm hanging up. 360 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:49,746 Slightly receding? 361 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:51,581 All right, neurotic. goodbye. 362 00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,486 I think I'll marry... 363 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:57,820 groom number one! 364 00:15:57,822 --> 00:15:59,622 [laughs] 365 00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:05,094 [gameshow audience cheers, applauds] 366 00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:05,461 Douchebag. 367 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,934 So, I'm at the post office, right? 368 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,736 I find that I'm two stamps short. 369 00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:15,805 Check my wallet. Bone dry. 370 00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:17,507 So I turn to this girl behind me 371 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:19,909 and beautiful brown eyes, 372 00:16:19,911 --> 00:16:22,478 giving me a little E. So I say, hey, 373 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,414 can I borrow two stamps? 374 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,717 But we gotta go back to my place to get them. 375 00:16:27,719 --> 00:16:30,520 So we go back to her place. She's mad cash. 376 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:32,922 I'm talking persian cat. Full cloth... 377 00:16:32,924 --> 00:16:34,724 I'm allergic to cats. 378 00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:38,728 So I start petting the cat. 379 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,797 Before you know it, she joins in, right? 380 00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:44,033 We're both like, vigorously just petting this cat. 381 00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:45,935 And she says to me, do you like my cat? 382 00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:48,971 And I'm like, well, this is perhaps 383 00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:51,474 the finest cat I have ever petted. 384 00:16:51,476 --> 00:16:53,643 she's working the high hard fastball. 385 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,044 The high hard fastball? 386 00:16:55,046 --> 00:16:56,145 His dick. 387 00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:57,480 My dick. 388 00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:58,614 What are you guys talking about? 389 00:16:58,616 --> 00:17:01,117 Oh, must be a short conversation. 390 00:17:01,119 --> 00:17:04,654 Uh, two whiskey sours, okay? 391 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:08,791 Hm. Why don't you ever get on that? 392 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,760 Cause you don't sleep with your friends, Jay. 393 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:12,161 Who says? 394 00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:14,697 It's a well documented rule. 395 00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:15,865 That's your rule, not mine. 396 00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,800 Can you just finish the story, please? 397 00:17:17,802 --> 00:17:18,601 Where was I? 398 00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:24,707 Right! My dick. Anyway, so she lifts her head up, right? 399 00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,877 Looks at me with those baby blue eyes. 400 00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:29,212 They were brown. 401 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,515 Brown? Blue? Fucking iridescent! Doesn't matter, 402 00:17:32,517 --> 00:17:34,150 cause I am seeing stars at this point, gentlemen. 403 00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:35,985 And you know what she does? 404 00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:40,490 She hands me two stamps. 405 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,058 Damn, kid. 406 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,597 Feel free to use that in your script. 407 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,532 Oh! What's up, baby? 408 00:17:57,808 --> 00:18:01,711 [video game beeping] 409 00:18:04,014 --> 00:18:06,015 So, Jimmy, how's school going? 410 00:18:09,219 --> 00:18:11,621 Great. That's great. 411 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:14,624 Ahh, sorry this is so last minute, Dean. 412 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,092 Can you believe the deal with my sitter? 413 00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:17,827 Yeah. Why was she deported again? 414 00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:19,595 Oh, I don't know. Something about drugs or prostitution 415 00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:23,766 or something. What did we learn about video games? 416 00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:24,967 That they lead to an increase in violence 417 00:18:24,969 --> 00:18:27,870 Okay, promise you'll be good for your uncle. 418 00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:31,207 All right, I left money on the counter for dinner. 419 00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:33,676 You guys can get pizza, but be sure to get a salad, too. 420 00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:35,211 He needs the ruffage. Oh, but nothing with beans. 421 00:18:35,213 --> 00:18:36,612 He can't process beans. 422 00:18:36,614 --> 00:18:37,580 Just get outta here. 423 00:18:37,582 --> 00:18:38,848 All right. 424 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:39,749 Thank you! You're a life saver. 425 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:41,584 Sure. 426 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:48,791 [video game beeping] 427 00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:53,062 what's say we do something educational, actually? 428 00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:55,765 Like what? 429 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,801 I don't know, why don't I let you decide? 430 00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:01,103 Wrestlemania! 431 00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:03,773 Hey! 432 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:06,876 [Jimmy groaning] 433 00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:09,812 Hey! Hey, are you busy? 434 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,248 Wrestlemania! 435 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,784 Um, can you give me a hand here? Maybe? 436 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,285 [claps] 437 00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,254 All right. All right. You're asking for it. 438 00:19:18,256 --> 00:19:21,357 I don't hear. Is that a mercy? I don't hear a mercy? 439 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:22,992 - Stop! Mercy! - Do you hear mercy? 440 00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:24,961 I'm not hearing mercy. At all. Can you? 441 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,630 Are you done? You're totally done? 442 00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:28,998 - Yes! - I don't hear it. 443 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,967 - Mercy! - I can't-- 444 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:31,834 - Mercy! - Mercy? 445 00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:32,735 I have to hear it louder! 446 00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,369 Mercy! 447 00:19:33,371 --> 00:19:34,337 Mercy? 448 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,171 Yes. 449 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:37,173 All right. Okay. 450 00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:40,710 Yay? What do you mean, yay? It's not over. 451 00:19:41,878 --> 00:19:43,846 Are you guys having sex? 452 00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:45,715 - What? - God, no. 453 00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:47,683 No. 454 00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:50,886 Where did you even learn that word? 455 00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:52,054 Mommy says you used to date. 456 00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:53,289 Oh no. Briefly. 457 00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:54,991 - Yeah, one date. - Yeah, in college. 458 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,193 We never ever had sex. 459 00:19:57,195 --> 00:20:02,398 Yeah, uh, do you even know what sex is, Jimmy? 460 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,233 No, explain it. 461 00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:07,169 Yes, Dean. Do explain it. 462 00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:10,873 Sex is like ice cream 463 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,842 because you, you only have it 464 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:16,045 with people that you really, really love. 465 00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,179 Have you ever had ice cream 466 00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:17,947 with someone before? 467 00:20:17,949 --> 00:20:19,215 No. 468 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:20,750 So you've never been in love. 469 00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:23,886 Yes. That is right. 470 00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,855 So do you masturbate? 471 00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:29,025 You owe me. Big time. 472 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:31,193 I will, I will paint your friggin' bedroom, okay? 473 00:20:31,195 --> 00:20:34,730 Except I am not doing that shade of yellow. 474 00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:35,965 - Yes, you are. - That is disgusting. 475 00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:37,867 Because you owe me. So figure it out. 476 00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:38,901 - All right. - Just make it work. 477 00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:41,237 Well, thanks again for everything. 478 00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:43,339 Ride included. 479 00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:46,342 Well, note to self: buy a car. Some day. Please. 480 00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,277 And fully commit to LA? 481 00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:51,047 Has your shit gone crazy? Get out of here. 482 00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:52,915 It's been two years, you know? 483 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,917 She's not gonna wait around forever. 484 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:57,453 Yeah, well, she's a fickle mistress. 485 00:20:57,455 --> 00:21:00,723 Yeah. No kidding. 486 00:21:00,725 --> 00:21:03,826 I will buy a car, when I have a solid reason to stay. 487 00:21:03,828 --> 00:21:05,127 All right. Good. Done and done. 488 00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:08,064 Now get outta here, you punk. 489 00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,031 - Bye. - Bye. 490 00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:10,066 - Oh. - Um. 491 00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:11,367 - Okay. - I'm so sorry. 492 00:21:11,369 --> 00:21:12,435 I mean, really? Dean? 493 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,870 And I think our lips actually touched there. 494 00:21:14,872 --> 00:21:17,973 Are you wearing like a peach, like, melon? 495 00:21:17,975 --> 00:21:20,409 Okay. You know what? It's actually not the first time 496 00:21:20,411 --> 00:21:21,977 you tried to kiss me. 497 00:21:21,979 --> 00:21:23,145 Really? 498 00:21:23,147 --> 00:21:24,847 - Really? - Yeah. 499 00:21:24,849 --> 00:21:26,382 Because as I recall, it was actually you 500 00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,117 who was the instigator of our one kiss. 501 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,452 The kiss that you bailed on. 502 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,754 Okay. Only because I had just had a root canal, 503 00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:35,224 pretty clear about prior to the start of the date. 504 00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:38,494 My bottom lip was like still numb. Give me a break. 505 00:21:38,496 --> 00:21:40,129 Mhmm, and all this time 506 00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:42,064 I thought that drool was for me. 507 00:21:42,066 --> 00:21:43,833 - [laughs] - Okay, seriously. 508 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:47,103 - All right, fine. Going. - Hurry up. 509 00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:47,970 Move it! 510 00:21:47,972 --> 00:21:49,105 - Bye. - Bye! 511 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:49,972 [car door slams] 512 00:21:49,974 --> 00:21:51,073 - Ow! - Sorry. 513 00:21:51,075 --> 00:21:53,442 That was really violent. 514 00:21:53,444 --> 00:21:55,111 Not necessary. 515 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:59,181 [street noise] 516 00:22:02,519 --> 00:22:06,255 [wind blowing] 517 00:22:08,425 --> 00:22:12,895 Let us have wine, women, mirth, and laughter. 518 00:22:12,897 --> 00:22:16,031 Sermons and soda water the day after. 519 00:22:16,033 --> 00:22:18,167 Don Juan. 520 00:22:18,169 --> 00:22:19,835 Oh, a literary man, no less. 521 00:22:19,837 --> 00:22:22,805 Yeah, well five years of college finally paying off. 522 00:22:22,807 --> 00:22:25,107 And what dream are we pursuing now? 523 00:22:25,109 --> 00:22:28,010 That of the actor? The director? 524 00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:29,011 Screenwriter. 525 00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:30,279 Hmm. 526 00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:32,214 A bartender that writes. 527 00:22:32,216 --> 00:22:34,150 A writer who bartends. 528 00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,886 Huh. Anything I might have seen? 529 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:37,853 You ever see The Hangover? 530 00:22:37,855 --> 00:22:38,988 I did. 531 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,823 Yeah. I didn't write that. 532 00:22:40,825 --> 00:22:42,358 I'll tell you, if it's any consolation, 533 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,127 you got most of the whiskey in the glass. 534 00:22:47,831 --> 00:22:50,166 I am a great believer in luck. 535 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:53,035 I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. 536 00:22:53,037 --> 00:22:55,171 That's the plan. 537 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:57,573 No, that's Thomas Jefferson. 538 00:22:57,575 --> 00:23:00,543 Hey, um, earlier today one of my buddies was in here. 539 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:03,012 Anyway, he works for a record studio 540 00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:06,382 so I gave him your number. If, if that's okay? 541 00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:09,185 Yeah. I mean, that'd be, that'd be great. Thank you. 542 00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:12,354 All right. Just looking out. 543 00:23:12,356 --> 00:23:14,924 That's a nice looking lady. 544 00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:19,195 [wind blowing] 545 00:23:19,197 --> 00:23:21,063 ♪♪ 546 00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:29,271 Okay, here we go. 547 00:23:34,010 --> 00:23:35,878 Magic time. 548 00:23:41,051 --> 00:23:43,986 Come on. 549 00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:47,923 Magic time. 550 00:23:49,259 --> 00:23:52,228 [types aggressively] 551 00:23:52,230 --> 00:23:53,896 When I was in college, I took one of those 552 00:23:53,898 --> 00:23:55,431 career aptitude tests. 553 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,066 You know, answered a lot of questions 554 00:23:57,068 --> 00:24:00,102 And you know they said I should be? 555 00:24:00,104 --> 00:24:02,371 A ferry boat captain. 556 00:24:02,373 --> 00:24:03,472 Not a writer. 557 00:24:03,474 --> 00:24:05,307 A ferry boat captain. 558 00:24:05,309 --> 00:24:07,176 I mean, do you like even have to go to college 559 00:24:07,178 --> 00:24:08,544 to be a ferry boat captain? 560 00:24:08,546 --> 00:24:10,613 Is that something you could apply for? 561 00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:11,947 I don't know. 562 00:24:11,949 --> 00:24:14,583 What's your script about, uncle Dean? 563 00:24:14,585 --> 00:24:17,186 It's about falling in love. 564 00:24:17,188 --> 00:24:20,256 But I thought you said you've never been in love. 565 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:22,024 That's right. 566 00:24:22,026 --> 00:24:25,094 Then how do you write about it? 567 00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,929 [sighs] 568 00:24:26,931 --> 00:24:28,430 Maybe you should fall in love. 569 00:24:28,432 --> 00:24:31,433 Jimmy, that's easy to say, buddy. 570 00:24:31,435 --> 00:24:34,270 But you can't just go out there and fall in love 571 00:24:34,272 --> 00:24:37,606 like it's something you can just do. 572 00:24:37,608 --> 00:24:39,208 You ever tried? 573 00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:42,177 No. 574 00:24:42,179 --> 00:24:44,013 Then how do you know? 575 00:24:48,218 --> 00:24:49,652 [laughs] That's amazing. 576 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:51,587 So wait, where did you go to school? 577 00:24:51,589 --> 00:24:53,122 Uh, I went to Berkeley. 578 00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:55,124 Oh, Berkley. That's a really good school. 579 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:56,692 - Thank you. - That was my reach school. 580 00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:59,461 I went to school back east. Uh, NYU. 581 00:24:59,463 --> 00:25:00,663 Hmm. Not as good, but... 582 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:04,500 Are you, uh, trying to start a fire with those things? 583 00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:07,202 Oh, right. I'm sorry. 584 00:25:07,204 --> 00:25:09,071 I guess I'm just a little nervous. 585 00:25:09,073 --> 00:25:15,244 I mean, if it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too. 586 00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:16,045 Really? You are? 587 00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:18,180 Of course. 588 00:25:18,182 --> 00:25:20,349 It's all a bit of a game, isn't it. 589 00:25:20,351 --> 00:25:22,151 What is? 590 00:25:22,153 --> 00:25:24,086 Just dating, in general. 591 00:25:24,088 --> 00:25:26,255 I just mean that there are so many rules 592 00:25:26,257 --> 00:25:30,225 It's like we have to become these super human people 593 00:25:30,227 --> 00:25:34,196 who always order the right thing or like the right music 594 00:25:34,198 --> 00:25:35,297 or tell the perfect story. 595 00:25:35,299 --> 00:25:38,367 Or who never have to go to the bathroom. 596 00:25:38,369 --> 00:25:40,302 Exactly. It's like, we're nervous. 597 00:25:40,304 --> 00:25:41,337 Why can't we go to the bathroom 598 00:25:41,339 --> 00:25:42,404 three or four times on a date? 599 00:25:42,406 --> 00:25:46,141 It's actually why I'm wearing a catheter right now. 600 00:25:46,143 --> 00:25:48,477 Oh no... 601 00:25:48,479 --> 00:25:50,079 I'm so sorry. 602 00:25:50,081 --> 00:25:53,649 I'm not actually wearing a catheter right now, 603 00:25:53,651 --> 00:25:55,718 but you see that's a perfect example of a joke 604 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,486 that doesn't work. 605 00:25:57,488 --> 00:25:59,355 It just goes to show you, yoh what you s. 606 00:25:59,357 --> 00:26:01,090 I totally agree with you. 607 00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:03,659 It's all about socially retarded. Don't you think? 608 00:26:06,162 --> 00:26:07,296 What? 609 00:26:07,298 --> 00:26:09,098 My little sister is retarded. 610 00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:12,701 It's an old make-up factory that we converted into a loft. 611 00:26:12,703 --> 00:26:14,203 God, that sounds neat. 612 00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:15,738 Yeah. The only real drawback is that 613 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:18,273 there are no windows or walls. 614 00:26:18,275 --> 00:26:20,509 So you don't have bedrooms or anything? 615 00:26:20,511 --> 00:26:22,578 We just, we threw up curtains 616 00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:24,346 to divide up the space. 617 00:26:24,348 --> 00:26:26,281 Oh. That must be tough on privacy. 618 00:26:26,283 --> 00:26:29,084 Yeah, well, like my roommate always says: 619 00:26:29,086 --> 00:26:32,354 If one of us is having sex, we're all having sex. 620 00:26:33,790 --> 00:26:36,625 Yeah, family is so important to me. 621 00:26:36,627 --> 00:26:39,061 I agree. I really do. 622 00:26:39,063 --> 00:26:40,729 Well, what's your family like? 623 00:26:40,731 --> 00:26:44,366 Well, my parents are divorced, but um... 624 00:26:44,368 --> 00:26:48,270 but I have a sister, who is actually also divorced, um... 625 00:26:48,272 --> 00:26:50,239 I've actually never been involved in anything 626 00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:53,275 That's like, I, I like to have sex with one person 627 00:26:53,277 --> 00:26:54,243 at a time. 628 00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:55,711 I haven't even really-- 629 00:26:55,713 --> 00:26:57,813 I'm waiting 'til I get married. 630 00:26:57,815 --> 00:26:59,815 Oh my God. I'm so sorry. 631 00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:02,084 I shouldn't laugh. That's terrible. 632 00:27:02,086 --> 00:27:04,186 But they don't have any kids, 633 00:27:04,188 --> 00:27:05,788 my aunt says that that's like, 634 00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,357 would like totally ruin everything. 635 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,461 I...your sister's a retard? I'm sorry. That's worse. 636 00:27:12,463 --> 00:27:14,730 That's worse. I should not have said that, that's-- 637 00:27:14,732 --> 00:27:16,465 Wow! That's crazy. 638 00:27:16,467 --> 00:27:18,300 Can't believe you've never had a boyfriend. 639 00:27:18,302 --> 00:27:20,502 Well, I've never really had time for a relationship-- 640 00:27:20,504 --> 00:27:22,271 because I was molested by-- 641 00:27:22,273 --> 00:27:25,374 Dogs. I'm allergic to dogs. 642 00:27:25,376 --> 00:27:26,742 How do you know that's not dog? 643 00:27:26,744 --> 00:27:28,210 I don't eat meat. 644 00:27:28,212 --> 00:27:29,311 I don't do dairy. 645 00:27:29,313 --> 00:27:31,280 I don't swallow. 646 00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:32,781 I've never had an orgasm. 647 00:27:32,783 --> 00:27:33,816 I've frozen my eggs. 648 00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:36,452 Have you ever tried tantra? 649 00:27:36,454 --> 00:27:38,120 Are you staring at my breasts? 650 00:27:38,122 --> 00:27:41,256 My last boyfriend's penis was too large. 651 00:27:41,258 --> 00:27:43,459 Check, please. 652 00:27:48,665 --> 00:27:51,800 [intercom] Next stop: Highland Park. 653 00:27:51,802 --> 00:27:53,869 Look over there to your left, Dean. 654 00:27:53,871 --> 00:27:56,238 Leave me alone. 655 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,707 Come on, dude. Look to your left. 656 00:28:00,743 --> 00:28:02,711 She could be the one. 657 00:28:04,314 --> 00:28:05,681 Go talk to her, man. 658 00:28:05,683 --> 00:28:09,251 I-- and what, look like a psycho? No, thanks. 659 00:28:09,253 --> 00:28:10,486 Well, maybe you are a psycho. 660 00:28:10,488 --> 00:28:12,521 You ever consider that? 661 00:28:12,523 --> 00:28:13,789 All the time. 662 00:28:18,628 --> 00:28:20,729 Oops, my bad. 663 00:28:22,732 --> 00:28:25,501 Yes, so good! Feels good! 664 00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:27,669 - Yes. Fuck. - Don't say anything! 665 00:28:27,671 --> 00:28:29,538 Don't, don't talk. Don't talk. 666 00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:31,507 Yeah, okay now talk. Don't. 667 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,275 No, don't talk. Don't. Don't talk. 668 00:28:33,277 --> 00:28:37,646 [yells] It's coming! It's coming! 669 00:28:37,648 --> 00:28:39,648 [screams] 670 00:28:39,650 --> 00:28:41,483 Unh! 671 00:28:42,819 --> 00:28:44,286 [indistinct] 672 00:28:45,889 --> 00:28:47,256 Hi. 673 00:28:47,258 --> 00:28:49,291 Hi. 674 00:28:49,293 --> 00:28:52,327 [heavy breathing] 675 00:28:54,397 --> 00:28:55,497 Can I ask you something? 676 00:28:55,499 --> 00:28:56,632 [phone rings] 677 00:28:56,634 --> 00:28:57,900 Hang on a sec. 678 00:28:57,902 --> 00:28:59,902 [phone rings] 679 00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:00,903 Hello? 680 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,305 Hi. Hi, stranger. 681 00:29:03,307 --> 00:29:04,740 Where have you been? 682 00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:07,442 Yeah, that'd be great! 683 00:29:08,411 --> 00:29:11,547 [laughs] You're bad! 684 00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:13,448 [inaudible] 685 00:29:13,450 --> 00:29:14,416 I can't tell you that right now. 686 00:29:14,418 --> 00:29:16,785 I've got someone here. 687 00:29:16,787 --> 00:29:19,621 Yeah, well, what are you wearing? 688 00:29:19,623 --> 00:29:21,790 Wh-- are you? 689 00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:24,526 Oh, you're not going to want to know what I'm wearing. 690 00:29:24,528 --> 00:29:28,330 Look, Pete. It's for the best man. You gotta trust me. 691 00:29:28,332 --> 00:29:29,798 She called me a cocksucker. 692 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:30,899 Damn, kid. 693 00:29:30,901 --> 00:29:34,570 I just can't be with a chick who's gonna 694 00:29:34,572 --> 00:29:36,238 call me a cocksucker. 695 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,472 You shouldn't have to be. 696 00:29:37,474 --> 00:29:38,607 It's not very loving. 697 00:29:38,609 --> 00:29:41,310 No, it's not. I agree. 698 00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:42,544 - What's up, buddy? - What's up? 699 00:29:42,546 --> 00:29:44,580 Hey, what's going on? 700 00:29:44,582 --> 00:29:47,249 Uh, Beth dumped Pete again. 701 00:29:47,251 --> 00:29:49,451 No. I dumped her. 702 00:29:49,453 --> 00:29:51,420 Well, I'm sorry. He dumped her. 703 00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:52,287 Why? 704 00:29:52,289 --> 00:29:53,589 Well, Pete's a cocksucker. 705 00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:54,957 Sorry to hear that, Pete. 706 00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:57,726 Why don't you come out for a drink with us? 707 00:29:57,728 --> 00:29:59,628 Can't do it. Gotta write. 708 00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:00,495 Write later. 709 00:30:00,497 --> 00:30:02,331 Write later? 710 00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:04,333 Dude, you write all the time. Write later. 711 00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:06,468 I don't want to write later. I feel like writing right now. 712 00:30:06,470 --> 00:30:07,836 Dude, your friend is in pain. 713 00:30:07,838 --> 00:30:09,838 Whatever. They break up like three times a month. 714 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,740 Dude, this was the last time. 715 00:30:11,742 --> 00:30:14,643 You see? That's the last time. 716 00:30:14,645 --> 00:30:16,311 I gotta write. 717 00:30:16,313 --> 00:30:17,346 Wow. 718 00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:19,982 [laughs] I'm not hearing this. 719 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:22,517 Look, I'm sorry. I can't just go out bar hopping 720 00:30:22,519 --> 00:30:24,553 with the guys every time I feel like it. I have-- 721 00:30:24,555 --> 00:30:27,456 there's things that you might not understand... 722 00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:28,557 Self control. 723 00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:29,958 Discipline. 724 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,793 Will power. 725 00:30:31,795 --> 00:30:33,462 [♪ Dance music ♪] 726 00:30:33,464 --> 00:30:35,497 Please don't. 727 00:30:35,499 --> 00:30:36,632 Oh, please do. 728 00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:37,633 What! 729 00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:38,567 [Pete laughs] 730 00:30:38,569 --> 00:30:39,968 Wow! 731 00:30:39,970 --> 00:30:43,405 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 732 00:30:43,407 --> 00:30:45,040 You're a terrible dancer! 733 00:30:45,042 --> 00:30:46,541 Wow! 734 00:30:46,543 --> 00:30:48,477 Wow! 735 00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:51,480 Is that? You send--are you sending me in? 736 00:30:51,482 --> 00:30:53,582 - He's sending me. - It's been sent. 737 00:30:53,584 --> 00:30:54,816 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 738 00:30:54,818 --> 00:30:56,318 Wow! 739 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,653 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 740 00:30:57,655 --> 00:30:59,621 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 741 00:30:59,623 --> 00:31:01,857 ♪ Check me out ♪ 742 00:31:01,859 --> 00:31:05,560 Come on, catch that shit. 743 00:31:05,562 --> 00:31:06,962 ♪ Those girls are lookin' at me ♪ 744 00:31:06,964 --> 00:31:08,563 [laughs] 745 00:31:08,565 --> 00:31:10,699 - Come on. - Come on! 746 00:31:10,701 --> 00:31:11,600 Yeah! 747 00:31:11,602 --> 00:31:12,668 I fuckin' hate you guys. 748 00:31:12,670 --> 00:31:13,669 I fuckin' hate you too. 749 00:31:13,671 --> 00:31:18,507 ♪ Cause I'm a hottie with a body ♪ 750 00:31:18,509 --> 00:31:22,678 ♪ I'll make them cuties shake their booties ♪ 751 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,615 ♪ I turn the dance to believers ♪ 752 00:31:26,617 --> 00:31:31,053 ♪ I get 'em hot just like a fever ♪ 753 00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,588 ♪ Cause I'm a hottie with a body ♪ 754 00:31:33,590 --> 00:31:37,559 ♪ I make them cuties shake their booties ♪ 755 00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:41,830 ♪ I turn the dance to believers ♪ 756 00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:45,534 Be still my groin. 757 00:31:45,536 --> 00:31:49,571 I'm getting some serious E. Gentlemen, excuse me. 758 00:31:49,573 --> 00:31:52,641 Yeah, I'm gonna do a lap. 759 00:31:52,643 --> 00:31:57,579 ♪♪ 760 00:31:57,581 --> 00:31:58,447 Great. 761 00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:00,882 ♪♪ 762 00:32:00,884 --> 00:32:03,452 Hey, can I get a whiskey when you get a chance? 763 00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:04,853 Please? 764 00:32:04,855 --> 00:32:07,622 Hey, need a favor. 765 00:32:07,624 --> 00:32:08,924 She's got a friend. 766 00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:11,093 No. No. Fuck no. 767 00:32:11,095 --> 00:32:13,562 Before you say anything, she is, she's beautiful. 768 00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:14,696 Okay? 769 00:32:14,698 --> 00:32:17,132 You're gonna like her. I promise. 770 00:32:17,134 --> 00:32:20,702 How? What? How do I owe you anything. 771 00:32:20,704 --> 00:32:22,637 I'll owe you. Okay? Come on. 772 00:32:26,410 --> 00:32:28,777 I would like you to meet a good friend of mine. 773 00:32:28,779 --> 00:32:29,978 - This is Dean. - Hi. 774 00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:32,647 - Dean, this is Monique. - Hi. 775 00:32:32,649 --> 00:32:34,750 - And her friend-- - Jasmine. 776 00:32:34,752 --> 00:32:35,751 Nice to meet you. 777 00:32:35,753 --> 00:32:37,085 Jasmine's a writer, too. 778 00:32:37,087 --> 00:32:39,488 Really? What do you write? 779 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,456 The advice column for Out. 780 00:32:41,458 --> 00:32:43,625 Oh, that's like, a travel magazine, right? 781 00:32:43,627 --> 00:32:46,495 Actually, it's an alternative lifestyles publication. 782 00:32:48,731 --> 00:32:50,499 Bro, you see that? 783 00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:52,000 What? 784 00:32:52,002 --> 00:32:53,835 She's giving me E. 785 00:32:53,837 --> 00:32:54,936 Oh yeah? How do you know? 786 00:32:54,938 --> 00:32:56,071 I can just tell. 787 00:32:56,073 --> 00:32:57,606 It's one of those things. 788 00:32:57,608 --> 00:33:00,175 God, I love being single. 789 00:33:00,177 --> 00:33:02,144 Hmm. 790 00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:06,648 Watch the kid go to work. 791 00:33:06,650 --> 00:33:08,984 Men in LA play so many games. 792 00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:10,619 They're so non-committal. 793 00:33:10,621 --> 00:33:13,488 I just got tired of looking for a man who could be. 794 00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:14,790 Just be. 795 00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:18,560 This is why I've chosen to be with women. 796 00:33:18,562 --> 00:33:20,462 She's totally checking me out. 797 00:33:20,464 --> 00:33:22,931 She's coming right there, watching my every move. 798 00:33:24,801 --> 00:33:26,568 She looks like Beth. 799 00:33:28,104 --> 00:33:29,838 So is what you're doing working? 800 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,741 Oh, you know it is. You know it is. Try it. 801 00:33:32,743 --> 00:33:35,076 How do I do it? Just send it out there. 802 00:33:36,712 --> 00:33:39,514 Send it, baby. Send it. 803 00:33:39,516 --> 00:33:42,651 Most men I've dated, I would classify as penetrators. 804 00:33:42,653 --> 00:33:45,520 I'm not too big on being penetrated. 805 00:33:45,522 --> 00:33:48,523 Vagina is actually Latin for sheath. 806 00:33:48,525 --> 00:33:51,693 I just got tired of being another sheath, you know? 807 00:33:51,695 --> 00:33:52,727 Totally. 808 00:33:52,729 --> 00:33:54,830 Yeah, okay. We're gonna go. 809 00:33:54,832 --> 00:33:56,932 Have fun. 810 00:33:59,569 --> 00:34:02,604 Your friend, for example, he's a penetrator. 811 00:34:02,606 --> 00:34:04,039 Will you excuse me for a second? 812 00:34:06,576 --> 00:34:08,710 Hey, man. Can I get a whiskey neat, please? 813 00:34:08,712 --> 00:34:09,811 Thanks. 814 00:34:11,714 --> 00:34:12,981 Keep it. 815 00:34:16,552 --> 00:34:21,756 No way! My God. 816 00:34:23,626 --> 00:34:29,898 Send it, baby. Send that E. Send it. 817 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:34,636 Come on. Look at me. I command you to look at me. 818 00:34:34,638 --> 00:34:36,204 What am I doing? Oh my gosh. 819 00:34:36,206 --> 00:34:40,275 Just go over there and talk to her, you lunatic. 820 00:34:40,277 --> 00:34:43,845 Stop talking to yourself. That would be really smart. 821 00:34:52,655 --> 00:34:54,155 Damn. 822 00:35:00,730 --> 00:35:03,899 Unbelievable! Nice job, Dean. 823 00:35:03,901 --> 00:35:05,534 What? 824 00:35:05,536 --> 00:35:08,737 on the way back to The Cave, thank you very much. 825 00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:10,872 Oh, who cares, man? It's all bullshit anyway. 826 00:35:10,874 --> 00:35:14,309 This endless need to prove your masculinity. 827 00:35:14,311 --> 00:35:15,610 Divide and conquer. 828 00:35:15,612 --> 00:35:17,078 Ooh, I'm getting serious E. 829 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,647 - What is that? - It's energy. 830 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:19,981 I know what it is, Pete. 831 00:35:19,983 --> 00:35:23,084 I'm asking what it really means. What does it say? 832 00:35:23,086 --> 00:35:24,786 What are we doing here? 833 00:35:24,788 --> 00:35:27,055 I know you're here to hook up, Jay. 834 00:35:27,057 --> 00:35:29,257 I'm just asking what does it say 835 00:35:29,259 --> 00:35:31,693 about the human condition? 836 00:35:31,695 --> 00:35:34,763 The human condition. 837 00:35:34,765 --> 00:35:38,166 What does my wanting to get laid have anything to do 838 00:35:38,168 --> 00:35:40,101 with the human condition? 839 00:35:40,103 --> 00:35:41,870 I'm just asking questions, man. 840 00:35:41,872 --> 00:35:44,773 Well, I'll tell you one thing. It is no more misguided 841 00:35:44,775 --> 00:35:47,075 than your idiotic quest to find the one. 842 00:35:47,077 --> 00:35:48,310 You think it's misguided? 843 00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:50,812 It's completely misguided. 844 00:35:50,814 --> 00:35:54,950 Finding the one is a inherently false concept. 845 00:35:54,952 --> 00:35:56,718 You know, people have [stammers] this 846 00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:58,820 fairy tale expectation that sex is no longer 847 00:35:58,822 --> 00:36:01,790 gonna be fucking, it's gonna be making love. 848 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:03,291 And you know what? 849 00:36:03,293 --> 00:36:05,293 They will make love for a while 850 00:36:05,295 --> 00:36:07,362 and then they'll just want to fuck again. 851 00:36:07,364 --> 00:36:09,030 And you know what? 852 00:36:09,032 --> 00:36:11,833 You're gonna think about this. You're gonna think, 853 00:36:11,835 --> 00:36:15,036 why do I want to fuck the person that I love? 854 00:36:15,038 --> 00:36:16,705 And then you'll realize 855 00:36:16,707 --> 00:36:18,873 that you never really loved that person. 856 00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:22,811 Instead, you loved the idea of being in love 857 00:36:22,813 --> 00:36:24,312 with that person, so that person was never truly 858 00:36:24,314 --> 00:36:27,882 the one, she was your idea of what the one should be. 859 00:36:27,884 --> 00:36:29,050 It's a mind fuck. 860 00:36:29,052 --> 00:36:30,385 You're a sad man, Jay. 861 00:36:30,387 --> 00:36:31,753 I'm an honest man. 862 00:36:31,755 --> 00:36:33,388 Pete, help me out here. 863 00:36:35,891 --> 00:36:39,327 I have a test. It's called The Mud Puddle Test. 864 00:36:39,329 --> 00:36:42,864 Yeah, say I'm walking with my girl down the street 865 00:36:42,866 --> 00:36:44,699 and she somehow manages to slip and fall 866 00:36:44,701 --> 00:36:47,736 Somehow manages? Pete what are you talking about? 867 00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:48,870 No, no, no. I'm serious. 868 00:36:48,872 --> 00:36:50,205 Look, there are two outcomes. 869 00:36:50,207 --> 00:36:52,007 Either she laughs about it or complains about it. 870 00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:54,175 The good girl's always gonna laugh about it, right? 871 00:36:54,177 --> 00:36:57,879 But the one, the woman you're gonna marry, 872 00:36:57,881 --> 00:37:00,915 she's gonna drag you right into that puddle with her. 873 00:37:00,917 --> 00:37:02,984 See how that works? 874 00:37:02,986 --> 00:37:05,020 Pete, are you like, 875 00:37:05,022 --> 00:37:06,955 pushing all your dates into mud puddles? 876 00:37:06,957 --> 00:37:09,891 No no, idiot. No. I just imagine what each one 877 00:37:09,893 --> 00:37:13,028 of them would be like in that situation, based on signs 878 00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:15,096 I've gotten while we were dating. 879 00:37:15,098 --> 00:37:16,231 And Beth? 880 00:37:18,034 --> 00:37:21,369 I don't even know anymore. 881 00:37:21,371 --> 00:37:22,971 What about you, Andre? 882 00:37:22,973 --> 00:37:25,774 Me? I love Anna. 883 00:37:25,776 --> 00:37:26,908 Who's Anna? 884 00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,243 She lives in New York. 885 00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:30,045 But I thought that Rosa was your girl. 886 00:37:30,047 --> 00:37:31,813 No, Anna's his girl girl. 887 00:37:31,815 --> 00:37:33,448 So does Anna sleep with other people? 888 00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:35,917 No. How do you know? 889 00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:37,118 She's a good girl. 890 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,019 But you do. 891 00:37:38,021 --> 00:37:39,454 I'm a bad boy. 892 00:37:39,456 --> 00:37:41,956 And you love her? 893 00:37:41,958 --> 00:37:45,060 Love is comfort. At least for me, it's comfort. 894 00:37:45,062 --> 00:37:47,829 It's knowing she'll be there whenever I need her. 895 00:37:47,831 --> 00:37:49,030 It's like this lighter. 896 00:37:49,032 --> 00:37:50,799 I love this lighter 897 00:37:50,801 --> 00:37:52,934 cause I know it's always gonna work. 898 00:37:52,936 --> 00:37:57,105 So you love Anna like you love your lighter? 899 00:37:57,107 --> 00:37:58,440 He loves his lighter more. 900 00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:00,141 I need a lighter. 901 00:38:00,143 --> 00:38:02,877 She's the one. 902 00:38:04,313 --> 00:38:07,048 A toast then, to finding the one. 903 00:38:07,050 --> 00:38:10,085 No, no. 904 00:38:10,087 --> 00:38:13,388 A toast to lying, cheating, stealing, 905 00:38:13,390 --> 00:38:15,123 lying for your friends, cheating death, 906 00:38:15,125 --> 00:38:17,058 and stealing ladies' hearts. 907 00:38:17,060 --> 00:38:20,862 I'll catch you guys later. 908 00:38:20,864 --> 00:38:22,063 What the fuck? 909 00:38:27,803 --> 00:38:30,772 Dean! You all right? 910 00:38:30,774 --> 00:38:32,240 Yeah. I'm just-- 911 00:38:33,409 --> 00:38:34,943 Yeah, I'm fine. 912 00:38:34,945 --> 00:38:37,078 Look, if it makes any difference, 913 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,247 I get what you're saying. 914 00:38:39,249 --> 00:38:41,349 You going back to The Cave? 915 00:38:42,952 --> 00:38:46,054 Nah. No. 916 00:38:46,056 --> 00:38:47,355 I know. 917 00:38:47,357 --> 00:38:48,790 Give her my best. 918 00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:49,791 I will. 919 00:38:49,793 --> 00:38:51,092 - Bye, buddy. - Later. 920 00:38:53,062 --> 00:38:56,331 [phone rings] 921 00:39:01,971 --> 00:39:07,075 [train passing] 922 00:39:11,547 --> 00:39:14,149 I, I know that, I know that you can't look for it, okay? 923 00:39:14,151 --> 00:39:18,052 It's just these women I've been going out with-- 924 00:39:18,054 --> 00:39:19,487 too much baggage. 925 00:39:19,489 --> 00:39:21,156 Or just way too shallow. 926 00:39:21,158 --> 00:39:23,158 Yeah, says the guy looking for love 927 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,126 to finish his screenplay. 928 00:39:25,128 --> 00:39:28,830 Well, maybe I'm writing it as a subconscious expression 929 00:39:28,832 --> 00:39:32,000 of my need to fall in love. You ever think about that? 930 00:39:32,002 --> 00:39:35,236 Well, you're wrong. You gotta look for the signs. 931 00:39:35,238 --> 00:39:39,908 Like the small miracles. The weird coincidences. 932 00:39:39,910 --> 00:39:43,912 The deja-vus. The stuff that turns you off. 933 00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:46,080 The stuff that makes you tingle. 934 00:39:46,082 --> 00:39:48,183 Like seeing the same woman over and over again 935 00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:49,217 every time you go out? 936 00:39:49,219 --> 00:39:51,052 Exactly. 937 00:39:51,054 --> 00:39:54,489 Or that you had a boyfriend that you discovered 938 00:39:54,491 --> 00:39:56,024 went to the same summer camp as you, 939 00:39:56,026 --> 00:39:58,259 except you guys never ran into each other. 940 00:39:58,261 --> 00:39:59,561 Did that happen to you? 941 00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:01,095 No. 942 00:40:01,097 --> 00:40:03,031 Wouldn't that be cool though? 943 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,399 Yeah, it'd be awesome. 944 00:40:04,401 --> 00:40:06,100 Yeah. 945 00:40:06,102 --> 00:40:07,969 I wish I went to summer camp. 946 00:40:07,971 --> 00:40:10,138 Me too. 947 00:40:14,044 --> 00:40:18,346 I just can't believe you find Shaun White attractive. 948 00:40:18,348 --> 00:40:20,081 - The flying tomato... - I just think if someone has, 949 00:40:20,083 --> 00:40:21,983 I think if someone has longer hair than you, 950 00:40:21,985 --> 00:40:24,052 - Oh! - Oh! Are you okay? 951 00:40:24,054 --> 00:40:25,086 - Oh! - You okay? 952 00:40:25,088 --> 00:40:26,087 [laughs] 953 00:40:26,089 --> 00:40:27,222 You're such an asshole. 954 00:40:27,224 --> 00:40:28,623 What? It was a sign. 955 00:40:28,625 --> 00:40:30,592 Yeah. Mock me if you must. - Oh, I must. 956 00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:32,093 You buy flower for girl? 957 00:40:32,095 --> 00:40:33,628 Uh, no. No girl... 958 00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:35,063 This girl... 959 00:40:35,065 --> 00:40:37,131 No! No. Not, not girl. 960 00:40:37,133 --> 00:40:39,133 Not girl? Boy? 961 00:40:39,135 --> 00:40:41,402 No, no. I'm not, I'm not his girl. 962 00:40:41,404 --> 00:40:43,938 - We're just friends. - Yeah, we're friends. 963 00:40:43,940 --> 00:40:46,507 Ah! Girlfriend! 964 00:40:48,978 --> 00:40:51,112 Yeah, look, man. 965 00:40:51,114 --> 00:40:53,181 You buy? 966 00:40:53,183 --> 00:40:55,183 Here. Okay. Here. Take these. 967 00:40:55,185 --> 00:40:57,018 No. Flowers bad karma. Huh uh. 968 00:40:57,020 --> 00:40:58,086 What? Take them. Please. 969 00:40:58,088 --> 00:41:02,156 Because. For dealing with my crap. Just take them. 970 00:41:02,158 --> 00:41:03,658 I mean it. 971 00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:05,627 Thank you so much. 972 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:08,029 Contact. 973 00:41:10,399 --> 00:41:13,234 Other one's getting a little jealous. 974 00:41:22,378 --> 00:41:23,945 [giggles] 975 00:41:23,947 --> 00:41:24,612 What? 976 00:41:24,614 --> 00:41:26,648 You made me miss my cab! 977 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,483 You made yourself miss your cab. 978 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,218 What are you taking about? Don't flatter yourself. 979 00:41:30,220 --> 00:41:31,586 Kissing you was like kissing my brother. 980 00:41:31,588 --> 00:41:35,290 Really? Kissing you was like kissing my mother. 981 00:41:35,292 --> 00:41:37,025 Kissing you is like kissing my grandfather 982 00:41:37,027 --> 00:41:39,160 and he's dead. 983 00:41:39,162 --> 00:41:41,095 - Well you know what? - Huh? 984 00:41:41,097 --> 00:41:45,133 Kissing you is completely forgettable. 985 00:41:47,269 --> 00:41:49,003 Forgettable? 986 00:41:49,005 --> 00:41:51,572 Completely. 987 00:42:19,535 --> 00:42:21,269 Shit. 988 00:42:37,353 --> 00:42:40,088 [whistling] 989 00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:42,490 Wakey Wakey. 990 00:42:42,492 --> 00:42:43,691 What? What is it? 991 00:42:43,693 --> 00:42:47,295 Mmm. Eviction notice. 992 00:42:47,297 --> 00:42:50,732 What? For what? 993 00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:54,202 Excessive partying. 994 00:42:54,204 --> 00:42:56,004 Morning, sweetheart. 995 00:42:59,208 --> 00:43:01,376 What the fuck? 996 00:43:01,378 --> 00:43:02,543 Here we go, guys. 997 00:43:02,545 --> 00:43:05,413 Sunny four bedroom loft. High ceilings. 998 00:43:05,415 --> 00:43:08,349 Exposed brick. 999 00:43:08,351 --> 00:43:10,051 Eat-in kitchen. Washer dryer. 1000 00:43:10,053 --> 00:43:11,786 Private fucking elevator. 1001 00:43:11,788 --> 00:43:13,588 What? Yo, yo. That's the one, kid. 1002 00:43:13,590 --> 00:43:14,622 Yeah, but how much is it? 1003 00:43:16,258 --> 00:43:19,327 It's $10,000. Fuck me! 1004 00:43:19,329 --> 00:43:20,695 Can I get a Jack and Coke? 1005 00:43:20,697 --> 00:43:25,666 Oh, we're getting booted from The Cave. 1006 00:43:25,668 --> 00:43:27,368 Well, that sucks. 1007 00:43:28,804 --> 00:43:32,540 That is a very good point, but you see, the thing is, 1008 00:43:32,542 --> 00:43:34,342 I don't know what to say to her. 1009 00:43:35,712 --> 00:43:41,115 Oh, yeah. I like her, too. I do. But do I like her? 1010 00:43:41,117 --> 00:43:43,284 And if I do like her, is it because I really like her 1011 00:43:43,286 --> 00:43:45,820 or because I'm just trying to write my script? 1012 00:43:45,822 --> 00:43:47,422 Wow. Am I that shallow? 1013 00:43:47,424 --> 00:43:51,592 Maybe I am, but I kissed her. And I liked it. 1014 00:43:51,594 --> 00:43:54,262 So I must like her, right? 1015 00:43:54,264 --> 00:43:56,497 I like her. 1016 00:43:56,499 --> 00:43:58,633 Yeah, that's good. 1017 00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:00,301 I like her too. 1018 00:44:00,303 --> 00:44:02,303 You should tell her you like her. 1019 00:44:02,305 --> 00:44:05,440 Really? You think that's a good idea? 1020 00:44:05,442 --> 00:44:07,442 Duh. 1021 00:44:07,444 --> 00:44:12,080 [♪ Jonathan Foreman: "Give Me Back My Girl" ♪] 1022 00:44:12,082 --> 00:44:12,647 Oh, hey. 1023 00:44:12,649 --> 00:44:13,648 Hey. 1024 00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:15,183 I'm sorry. Where're you going? 1025 00:44:15,185 --> 00:44:18,820 Yeah, it's empty in there. I got off early. 1026 00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:21,322 Oh, okay. Can I talk to you for a sec? 1027 00:44:21,324 --> 00:44:24,425 Look, can you talk to me while I'm walking to my car? 1028 00:44:24,427 --> 00:44:26,627 It's actually kinda complicated. 1029 00:44:26,629 --> 00:44:29,864 Okay, um, then how about I'll call you when I have 1030 00:44:29,866 --> 00:44:32,133 a second to actually talk. That okay? 1031 00:44:32,135 --> 00:44:33,701 - Uh yeah. Okay. - All right? 1032 00:44:33,703 --> 00:44:35,403 Okay. Talk to you later. Bye. 1033 00:44:35,405 --> 00:44:37,238 ♪ Feel you creepin' in ♪ 1034 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:40,208 ♪ Breakin' my heart again ♪ 1035 00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:42,443 ♪ I don't know who I've been ♪ 1036 00:44:42,445 --> 00:44:45,179 ♪ Feels like I'm losing it ♪ 1037 00:44:45,181 --> 00:44:46,414 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1038 00:44:46,416 --> 00:44:47,482 Shit. 1039 00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:50,485 Hey, Tess! Tess! Hey! Hey! 1040 00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:52,687 ♪ You can have Los Angeles, ♪ 1041 00:44:52,689 --> 00:44:56,324 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪ 1042 00:44:56,326 --> 00:45:02,663 ♪♪ 1043 00:45:02,665 --> 00:45:05,433 ♪ Feels like I'm losing you ♪ 1044 00:45:05,435 --> 00:45:08,402 ♪ Like I'm being torn in two ♪ 1045 00:45:08,404 --> 00:45:11,439 ♪ After all that we've been through ♪ 1046 00:45:11,441 --> 00:45:13,875 ♪ Is there nothing that I could do ♪ 1047 00:45:13,877 --> 00:45:19,180 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1048 00:45:19,182 --> 00:45:21,382 ♪ You can have Los Angeles ♪ 1049 00:45:21,384 --> 00:45:23,384 Tess! Wait! Wait! Wait! 1050 00:45:23,386 --> 00:45:25,353 Hey! Hey! Tess! 1051 00:45:25,355 --> 00:45:26,821 Dammit! 1052 00:45:26,823 --> 00:45:30,358 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪ 1053 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,194 Hey, can you follow that car, please? 1054 00:45:33,196 --> 00:45:35,730 ♪ Give me back my girl ♪ 1055 00:45:35,732 --> 00:45:38,366 ♪ You can have the basin ♪ 1056 00:45:38,368 --> 00:45:41,769 ♪ Just give me back my girl ♪♪ 1057 00:45:41,771 --> 00:45:44,839 [melancholy music] 1058 00:45:53,415 --> 00:45:56,617 Hey, my man. Get out here? 1059 00:45:56,619 --> 00:46:00,655 Oh, uh. No It's actually just a couple more blocks up. 1060 00:46:03,926 --> 00:46:07,562 Hello and welcome back to Here Comes the Bride. 1061 00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:09,363 Yes, it's the big one. 1062 00:46:11,568 --> 00:46:14,635 - You're home? - Yeah. Keen observation. 1063 00:46:14,637 --> 00:46:18,906 No, I just thought. I don't know. You'd be out. 1064 00:46:18,908 --> 00:46:20,541 So what are you guys up to? 1065 00:46:20,543 --> 00:46:22,443 We just came from having cocktails, which reminds me. 1066 00:46:22,445 --> 00:46:25,746 Gotta take a leak, if you pardon my French. 1067 00:46:25,748 --> 00:46:27,481 Didn't know you were bilingual. 1068 00:46:27,483 --> 00:46:29,750 I have many talents, lady. 1069 00:46:29,752 --> 00:46:34,822 Who will be the lucky man to marry her? 1070 00:46:34,824 --> 00:46:39,460 And whisk her away to Cabo for a one week honeymoon? 1071 00:46:39,462 --> 00:46:40,828 It's our show. 1072 00:46:40,830 --> 00:46:43,898 Yeah, our show. 1073 00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:45,833 So what'd you want to talk to me about? 1074 00:46:47,369 --> 00:46:48,603 What do you mean? 1075 00:46:48,605 --> 00:46:50,972 Earlier you wanted to talk to me. 1076 00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:52,807 Oh, right. Yeah. I uh... 1077 00:46:52,809 --> 00:46:54,742 have you ever worked behind the bar before? 1078 00:46:54,744 --> 00:46:56,510 Few times. Why? 1079 00:46:56,512 --> 00:46:58,346 I was just wandering if you could take one of my shifts. 1080 00:46:58,348 --> 00:47:00,948 I'm like, totally overloaded with this whole writing thing 1081 00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:04,518 Really? That's it? 1082 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,254 Yeah. 1083 00:47:06,256 --> 00:47:08,789 Uh huh. Okay. 1084 00:47:08,791 --> 00:47:12,860 I'll talk to Sid and see if everything's okay with that. 1085 00:47:12,862 --> 00:47:13,961 I'm sure it will be fine. 1086 00:47:13,963 --> 00:47:15,763 - Great. - Great. 1087 00:47:15,765 --> 00:47:17,565 Great. 1088 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,969 So what do you think? 1089 00:47:21,971 --> 00:47:24,639 About what? 1090 00:47:24,641 --> 00:47:26,540 We just had our first date. 1091 00:47:27,509 --> 00:47:29,810 No way! You two? 1092 00:47:29,812 --> 00:47:33,314 Yes, and it went quite well, I think. 1093 00:47:33,316 --> 00:47:34,582 Yeah, you got my attention. 1094 00:47:34,584 --> 00:47:37,852 Hmm. So? How about it? 1095 00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:41,789 My two best friends getting together? 1096 00:47:41,791 --> 00:47:43,891 What more could a guy ask for? Huh? 1097 00:47:43,893 --> 00:47:44,792 Beautiful! 1098 00:47:44,794 --> 00:47:45,960 Great. 1099 00:47:45,962 --> 00:47:47,061 Totally. 1100 00:47:47,063 --> 00:47:48,963 So... 1101 00:47:48,965 --> 00:47:52,600 don't you have that thing tonight? 1102 00:47:52,602 --> 00:47:55,703 Right. Yes. My thing. That thing. I gotta-- 1103 00:47:55,705 --> 00:47:57,038 Hey, you don't wanna be late. 1104 00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,907 Yeah, I will see you guys, I'll catch up with you-- 1105 00:47:59,909 --> 00:48:01,075 Yeah. Good luck with that. 1106 00:48:01,077 --> 00:48:02,576 Yeah. Okay. 1107 00:48:02,578 --> 00:48:04,312 Yeah, good luck. 1108 00:48:19,695 --> 00:48:22,530 Remember that Latino girl I used to date? 1109 00:48:22,532 --> 00:48:25,599 - You mean Alicia? - Yeah. That's the one. 1110 00:48:25,601 --> 00:48:27,735 You know, I took her to one of those rooftop joints once? 1111 00:48:27,737 --> 00:48:31,405 Yeah man. Did the three D's: drinks, dinner, dancing. 1112 00:48:31,407 --> 00:48:33,107 That kind of thing. Anyway, picture this: 1113 00:48:33,109 --> 00:48:36,777 midnight rolls along and we stroll out onto the deck 1114 00:48:36,779 --> 00:48:39,547 and there was this gigantic moon that just sort of 1115 00:48:39,549 --> 00:48:42,550 hung right over the city, lit up the entire sky. 1116 00:48:42,552 --> 00:48:43,851 And there was this gentle breeze that kept 1117 00:48:43,853 --> 00:48:46,620 lifting her hair. It was perfect. 1118 00:48:46,622 --> 00:48:47,888 This is perfect. 1119 00:48:47,890 --> 00:48:50,691 This is perfect. 1120 00:48:50,693 --> 00:48:53,594 And let me guess? She gave you the old blow job 1121 00:48:53,596 --> 00:48:55,396 right then and there on the deck? 1122 00:48:55,398 --> 00:48:58,399 No, man. It wasn't about that. 1123 00:49:00,569 --> 00:49:03,637 It was just a moment. You know? A perfect moment. 1124 00:49:03,639 --> 00:49:05,740 Everything about the evening, 1125 00:49:05,742 --> 00:49:07,708 everything around us was perfect. I knew it. 1126 00:49:07,710 --> 00:49:09,744 She knew it. And at that moment, 1127 00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:12,680 just for one moment, 1128 00:49:12,682 --> 00:49:15,483 I thought I loved her. 1129 00:49:15,485 --> 00:49:16,617 Did you tell her this? 1130 00:49:16,619 --> 00:49:18,452 Nah. Nah. Nah. I didn't tell her. 1131 00:49:18,454 --> 00:49:19,587 - Why not? - I couldn't. 1132 00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:23,758 Because the moment passed as quickly as it came 1133 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,161 and I realized I don't love the girl. I love the moment. 1134 00:49:27,163 --> 00:49:29,764 See for me, it was always about the moment. 1135 00:49:29,766 --> 00:49:31,999 Well, until I met Anna. 1136 00:49:33,602 --> 00:49:37,772 Do you not have perfect moments with Anna? 1137 00:49:37,774 --> 00:49:40,141 Nah. See with Anna, 1138 00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:41,976 I never even thought about perfect moments. 1139 00:49:41,978 --> 00:49:43,911 Never even tried to look for 'em. 1140 00:49:43,913 --> 00:49:47,648 Then I got to thinking about that and I realized that 1141 00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:51,852 every moment I had with Anna was perfect 1142 00:49:51,854 --> 00:49:54,789 because I loved her 1143 00:49:54,791 --> 00:49:57,858 and I realized that love is the perfect moment 1144 00:49:57,860 --> 00:49:59,627 that never ends. 1145 00:50:02,164 --> 00:50:06,200 So why aren't you with her now, man? 1146 00:50:06,202 --> 00:50:09,103 Ah, she's in, she's in, she's in New York 1147 00:50:09,105 --> 00:50:09,970 and I moved to LA. 1148 00:50:09,972 --> 00:50:16,644 Yeah, but your perfect moment--it's out there. 1149 00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:18,546 It's waiting on you, kid. 1150 00:50:21,783 --> 00:50:23,484 Yeah. 1151 00:50:24,019 --> 00:50:25,719 Good cop, bad cop. 1152 00:50:25,721 --> 00:50:26,754 Who's the good cop? 1153 00:50:26,756 --> 00:50:28,956 You are, kid. 1154 00:50:34,663 --> 00:50:36,864 What's up? 1155 00:50:36,866 --> 00:50:38,966 Yeah. You. 1156 00:50:38,968 --> 00:50:41,235 Look, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, 1157 00:50:41,237 --> 00:50:44,138 you are one sexy biznitch. 1158 00:50:44,140 --> 00:50:47,942 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, is everything okay here? 1159 00:50:47,944 --> 00:50:49,710 Yeah, just talking to the lady, yo. 1160 00:50:49,712 --> 00:50:51,245 Is this guy bothering you? 1161 00:50:51,247 --> 00:50:54,582 Hey! Don't make me get rough with you, buddy. 1162 00:50:54,584 --> 00:50:55,583 Listen, mother fucker. If I have to-- 1163 00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:56,550 I get it. 1164 00:50:56,552 --> 00:50:57,852 Good cop. Bad cop. 1165 00:50:59,621 --> 00:51:01,989 Oh. Wha-- 1166 00:51:06,895 --> 00:51:07,795 Thank you. 1167 00:51:07,797 --> 00:51:10,164 Yeah, I will see you at home. 1168 00:51:12,534 --> 00:51:15,569 Wow. I am so embarrassed. 1169 00:51:15,571 --> 00:51:18,539 And I'm Kat. 1170 00:51:19,774 --> 00:51:22,710 I don't know. I just feel really comfortable around you, 1171 00:51:22,712 --> 00:51:28,215 like already. Like I could just tell you anything. 1172 00:51:28,217 --> 00:51:29,850 So I'm just going to come right out with it. 1173 00:51:29,852 --> 00:51:34,889 I sort of went through this experimental phase. 1174 00:51:34,891 --> 00:51:36,957 What? Like a drug thing? 1175 00:51:38,793 --> 00:51:41,128 No, like a sex thing. 1176 00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:44,064 Oh, like you had a lot of sex? 1177 00:51:44,066 --> 00:51:47,001 Uh, mostly submissive masochistic stuff. 1178 00:51:47,003 --> 00:51:49,870 You know, like spankings, whippings, little bondage. 1179 00:51:49,872 --> 00:51:53,607 It was, it was just this really crazy phase 1180 00:51:53,609 --> 00:51:56,610 that I went through not that long ago. 1181 00:51:56,612 --> 00:51:59,914 Oh God. Is this too much for you? I'm sorry, 1182 00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:02,283 I always do this. I always reveal too much too soon. 1183 00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:05,052 No. No. No. No. I totally get it. 1184 00:52:05,054 --> 00:52:07,154 It's like, how much are you willing to reveal? 1185 00:52:07,156 --> 00:52:09,156 And how soon do you finally reveal yourself? 1186 00:52:09,158 --> 00:52:11,926 Like how long do you have to play the part of the person 1187 00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:15,629 And when do you finally settle into playing the part 1188 00:52:15,631 --> 00:52:19,967 of the person who you really are. 1189 00:52:19,969 --> 00:52:22,803 I like that. 1190 00:52:28,109 --> 00:52:28,909 No. 1191 00:52:28,911 --> 00:52:29,877 What are you doing? 1192 00:52:30,912 --> 00:52:32,947 I'm gonna ride you. 1193 00:52:32,949 --> 00:52:36,684 Can I just say something? 1194 00:52:36,686 --> 00:52:37,351 No. 1195 00:52:37,353 --> 00:52:39,353 Uh, I like you. 1196 00:52:39,355 --> 00:52:41,889 I mean, I don't want you to think I'm like psycho 1197 00:52:41,891 --> 00:52:43,324 or anything, but I can tell that there's something here. 1198 00:52:43,326 --> 00:52:46,293 You know? And of course I wanna do 1199 00:52:46,295 --> 00:52:49,663 what I think we're gonna do, but... 1200 00:52:49,665 --> 00:52:50,798 if we do do it-- 1201 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:51,932 Quit talking. 1202 00:52:51,934 --> 00:52:55,703 Okay. If we do do it. 1203 00:52:55,705 --> 00:52:58,138 Will there even be a date number two? 1204 00:52:58,140 --> 00:53:01,175 I don't know. Do we call this date number one? 1205 00:53:01,177 --> 00:53:02,943 I don't know what do you think? 1206 00:53:04,112 --> 00:53:08,082 I mean, what do you, what do you think? 1207 00:53:10,218 --> 00:53:11,719 Kat? 1208 00:53:11,721 --> 00:53:14,855 [light snoring] 1209 00:53:14,857 --> 00:53:15,990 [gasps] 1210 00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,861 Who the fuck are you? 1211 00:53:20,863 --> 00:53:23,897 I'm Dean. 1212 00:53:23,899 --> 00:53:26,333 Remember? 1213 00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:28,902 From last night? 1214 00:53:28,904 --> 00:53:30,938 Are you receding? 1215 00:53:31,773 --> 00:53:35,309 [gasps] 1216 00:53:43,418 --> 00:53:45,786 "Didn't want to wake you up. 1217 00:53:45,788 --> 00:53:51,191 Make sure to lock the door when you leave. Kat." 1218 00:53:51,193 --> 00:53:54,261 ♪ Mathclub "Brand New" ♪ 1219 00:53:59,234 --> 00:54:01,301 ♪♪ 1220 00:55:10,438 --> 00:55:12,406 ♪♪ 1221 00:55:12,408 --> 00:55:13,307 No. No. No. 1222 00:55:13,309 --> 00:55:14,808 Fucking no. 1223 00:55:14,810 --> 00:55:15,976 What? What's wrong? 1224 00:55:15,978 --> 00:55:17,945 It's just that Jake seems self-indulgent 1225 00:55:17,947 --> 00:55:19,113 and I'm not buying his new relationship 1226 00:55:19,115 --> 00:55:21,782 Really? Because I feel like it's going-- 1227 00:55:21,784 --> 00:55:24,818 Why not have Jake take his own life? 1228 00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:25,886 Excuse me? 1229 00:55:25,888 --> 00:55:27,020 Yeah! 1230 00:55:27,022 --> 00:55:28,088 Have him blow is brains out. 1231 00:55:28,090 --> 00:55:30,057 Yeah, or jump off a tall building. 1232 00:55:30,059 --> 00:55:31,792 I've got it. Suicide, man! 1233 00:55:31,794 --> 00:55:32,893 I love it. 1234 00:55:32,895 --> 00:55:36,363 never really ever does ever fall in love. 1235 00:55:36,365 --> 00:55:38,132 Instead his journey is to come to terms 1236 00:55:38,134 --> 00:55:40,267 with his wretched inescapable loneliness 1237 00:55:40,269 --> 00:55:42,369 which in turn leads to his suicide, 1238 00:55:42,371 --> 00:55:46,173 transforming him into a classically tragic figure. 1239 00:55:46,175 --> 00:55:49,176 [clapping] What do you think about that? 1240 00:55:49,178 --> 00:55:50,811 What do you think about this? 1241 00:55:52,313 --> 00:55:55,816 Don't take it personally that your writing's shit. 1242 00:55:55,818 --> 00:55:58,152 I thought the beginning was all right. 1243 00:55:58,154 --> 00:56:00,087 Fuck you. 1244 00:56:01,856 --> 00:56:03,023 You sure you're ready to do this? 1245 00:56:03,025 --> 00:56:05,058 I've been ready for two weeks. 1246 00:56:05,060 --> 00:56:07,094 We've only been dating for three. 1247 00:56:07,096 --> 00:56:12,032 I know. I know and trust me, I, I want to do it so badly, 1248 00:56:12,034 --> 00:56:15,169 but everything will change, you know? 1249 00:56:15,171 --> 00:56:17,104 - It's just that-- - It's sex, Dean. 1250 00:56:17,106 --> 00:56:18,839 We're adults. 1251 00:56:18,841 --> 00:56:20,207 Look, I like you and I want to be with you. 1252 00:56:20,209 --> 00:56:22,176 I don't see why things should change. 1253 00:56:24,045 --> 00:56:26,079 You like me? 1254 00:56:26,081 --> 00:56:27,815 Yeah. I do. 1255 00:56:29,551 --> 00:56:31,919 Well, then I think we should probably wait. 1256 00:56:31,921 --> 00:56:33,554 You know, fine. Whatever. 1257 00:56:33,556 --> 00:56:36,190 You ruined the moment anyways. 1258 00:56:39,427 --> 00:56:41,161 Up to this point, she's in the moment 1259 00:56:41,163 --> 00:56:42,596 and I am definitely in the moment. 1260 00:56:42,598 --> 00:56:44,364 You know, this is Romeo and Juliet. 1261 00:56:44,366 --> 00:56:45,599 That's pretty challenging material, 1262 00:56:45,601 --> 00:56:48,235 so I am prepared for the worst. 1263 00:56:48,237 --> 00:56:52,539 Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after. 1264 00:56:52,541 --> 00:56:54,408 I will kiss thy lips. 1265 00:56:54,410 --> 00:56:57,110 Haply some poison yet doth hang on them. 1266 00:56:57,112 --> 00:56:59,513 And she starts kissing me. But I mean, 1267 00:56:59,515 --> 00:57:01,915 for like a prolonged period of time. 1268 00:57:01,917 --> 00:57:05,085 I mean, like this chick is really enjoying it. 1269 00:57:05,087 --> 00:57:07,354 Or maybe she was just trying to get the poison? 1270 00:57:07,356 --> 00:57:09,923 Yeah, out of my kidneys, maybe? 1271 00:57:09,925 --> 00:57:13,093 I look to the first watchmen and I'm like, telepathically 1272 00:57:13,095 --> 00:57:16,463 just begging him to say his line. 1273 00:57:16,465 --> 00:57:19,132 Lead, boy! Which way? 1274 00:57:19,134 --> 00:57:21,068 Which he does, thank God. 1275 00:57:21,070 --> 00:57:24,071 Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. 1276 00:57:24,073 --> 00:57:28,242 Except for this chick doesn't know what her last line is. 1277 00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:29,910 So we're just sitting there. 1278 00:57:29,912 --> 00:57:31,445 In silence. 1279 00:57:31,447 --> 00:57:34,114 I realize, fuck, I'm gonna have to tell this girl 1280 00:57:34,116 --> 00:57:35,115 her next line. 1281 00:57:35,117 --> 00:57:39,386 O happy dagger. 1282 00:57:39,388 --> 00:57:41,154 Luckily, she figures out what I'm trying to say. 1283 00:57:41,156 --> 00:57:42,923 She grabs the dagger and says, 1284 00:57:42,925 --> 00:57:44,992 O happy dagger! 1285 00:57:44,994 --> 00:57:49,663 This is my sheath; there rust, and let me die. 1286 00:57:49,665 --> 00:57:52,566 Stabs herself and collapses on top of me. Dead. 1287 00:57:52,568 --> 00:57:54,968 Thank God. 1288 00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:58,605 I would have, except for while she's on top of me, 1289 00:57:58,607 --> 00:58:03,677 she suddenly starts reaching fot I mea? 1290 00:58:03,679 --> 00:58:07,180 Yeah, she's like giving me the covert rub and tug 1291 00:58:07,182 --> 00:58:11,285 and I'm like please end this fucking play. 1292 00:58:11,287 --> 00:58:15,155 But as it continues, I hear the audience start to laugh. 1293 00:58:15,157 --> 00:58:18,058 I'm like, what the fuck are they laughing at? 1294 00:58:18,060 --> 00:58:23,497 [laughter, applause] 1295 00:58:23,499 --> 00:58:26,333 ♪♪ 1296 00:58:26,335 --> 00:58:29,102 [inaudible laughter] 1297 00:58:35,009 --> 00:58:37,377 ♪♪ 1298 00:58:42,984 --> 00:58:45,185 Why don't you tell them the one about the Indian girl? 1299 00:58:47,488 --> 00:58:49,156 What? 1300 00:58:49,158 --> 00:58:52,159 Come on. The alley. The rooftop. The hard candy. 1301 00:58:52,161 --> 00:58:55,162 You remember? Or what about the post office story? 1302 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:58,332 You know, the time you got the two stamps from that girl 1303 00:58:58,334 --> 00:58:59,733 you banged or what about the twins that you hooked up 1304 00:58:59,735 --> 00:59:04,304 What? I'm just saying. What's the big deal? 1305 00:59:04,306 --> 00:59:07,140 So you got a blow job from some indian chick. 1306 00:59:07,142 --> 00:59:11,545 Okay, you know what? Excuse me. 1307 00:59:11,547 --> 00:59:13,246 What the fuck is your problem? 1308 00:59:17,218 --> 00:59:20,320 Wait a minute. Wait. Wait, now who got a blow job? 1309 00:59:20,322 --> 00:59:22,189 Tess, would you wait a second? 1310 00:59:22,191 --> 00:59:26,593 Why, Dean? What the hell was that back there? 1311 00:59:26,595 --> 00:59:29,463 I don't know. I just-- You just what? 1312 00:59:31,265 --> 00:59:34,368 Do you have nothing to say to me? 1313 00:59:34,370 --> 00:59:36,636 Nothing? 1314 00:59:48,383 --> 00:59:53,754 [keyboard typing] 1315 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:55,288 [♪ sultry music ♪] 1316 00:59:55,290 --> 00:59:57,624 Whatcha working on? 1317 00:59:57,626 --> 01:00:00,427 Uh, just tossing around a new idea. 1318 01:00:00,429 --> 01:00:03,263 Feel like tossing me around? 1319 01:00:06,267 --> 01:00:08,735 Yeah, yeah you do. [purrs] 1320 01:00:08,737 --> 01:00:10,604 Okay, so now that you've met all three 1321 01:00:10,606 --> 01:00:14,307 of your potential grooms, it's time to make 1322 01:00:14,309 --> 01:00:17,644 the biggest decision of your life. 1323 01:00:17,646 --> 01:00:20,414 So will it be groom one? 1324 01:00:20,416 --> 01:00:22,416 The former Olympian. 1325 01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:27,254 Or will it be groom two? The multi-millionaire. 1326 01:00:27,256 --> 01:00:32,659 Or will it be groom three. The self proclaimed geek 1327 01:00:32,661 --> 01:00:35,162 with thinning hair. 1328 01:00:35,164 --> 01:00:37,364 Well, I've given it some actual thought 1329 01:00:37,366 --> 01:00:39,266 and I would like to spend the rest of my life 1330 01:00:39,268 --> 01:00:41,468 with groom number three. 1331 01:00:41,470 --> 01:00:42,502 [audience gasps] 1332 01:00:42,504 --> 01:00:44,704 - No way! - Holy shit! 1333 01:00:45,773 --> 01:00:47,407 Why'd she pick the dork? 1334 01:00:47,409 --> 01:00:51,278 Guy's a fucking toolbox. 1335 01:00:52,547 --> 01:00:56,383 These, ah, these parts, is... where's this thing? 1336 01:00:56,385 --> 01:00:59,820 Ah, these talks with the subway conductor were, 1337 01:00:59,822 --> 01:01:03,223 - I found-- - Weird, I know. 1338 01:01:03,225 --> 01:01:05,358 Inspired, I thought. 1339 01:01:07,462 --> 01:01:09,663 This is good stuff. 1340 01:01:09,665 --> 01:01:12,532 Stuff with the hair and the business 1341 01:01:12,534 --> 01:01:17,404 with the roommates is funny. 1342 01:01:17,406 --> 01:01:24,144 I think you have a good solid understanding of the craft. 1343 01:01:24,712 --> 01:01:28,148 You got a style. A voice. I like that. 1344 01:01:28,150 --> 01:01:32,652 It's a voice I'm interested in. 1345 01:01:32,654 --> 01:01:36,289 It's a voice that almost rings true. 1346 01:01:37,358 --> 01:01:39,626 What do you mean? 1347 01:01:39,628 --> 01:01:43,563 Well, this is supposed to be a story about a guy 1348 01:01:43,565 --> 01:01:45,265 who falls in love, right? 1349 01:01:45,267 --> 01:01:49,369 Jiminy crickets! If I'm gonna drop my twelve bucks 1350 01:01:49,371 --> 01:01:53,740 on a ticket, I should get, I mean, I deserve to at least 1351 01:01:53,742 --> 01:01:56,510 see him fall in love, no? 1352 01:01:56,512 --> 01:02:00,647 Well, uh, yeah, it's--you do. It's in there. 1353 01:02:00,649 --> 01:02:04,484 Oh, I must have missed that. 1354 01:02:04,486 --> 01:02:06,753 It's--yeah, it's subtle. 1355 01:02:06,755 --> 01:02:10,590 Why don't you point it out for me? 1356 01:02:24,539 --> 01:02:27,207 Give me a call when you find it, kid. 1357 01:02:29,944 --> 01:02:32,512 Fuck! 1358 01:02:32,514 --> 01:02:34,881 [intercom] Next stop: Union Station. 1359 01:02:40,721 --> 01:02:44,958 Look, I love her, Pete. I do. 1360 01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,327 But she's making you miserable, my friend. 1361 01:02:47,329 --> 01:02:48,528 I know. 1362 01:02:49,330 --> 01:02:51,565 Maybe it's time for someone new. 1363 01:02:51,567 --> 01:02:54,868 Yeah, I hear ya. 1364 01:02:54,870 --> 01:02:58,238 Hey. We should have a party this weekend. 1365 01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,907 Last party in The Cave. 1366 01:03:00,909 --> 01:03:03,944 Huh? Come on, man. What do you say? 1367 01:03:03,946 --> 01:03:06,780 And do I invite Beth? 1368 01:03:06,782 --> 01:03:10,417 Invite Beth. By all means, invite Beth. 1369 01:03:10,419 --> 01:03:12,752 Have a good time with her if possible, 1370 01:03:12,754 --> 01:03:14,521 but just do me a favor, okay? 1371 01:03:14,523 --> 01:03:16,489 Take a look around and see if anything sparks 1372 01:03:16,491 --> 01:03:17,891 your interest, you know? 1373 01:03:17,893 --> 01:03:19,259 Hey. 1374 01:03:24,465 --> 01:03:27,601 Hey I can't quite exactly tell you what I was thinking 1375 01:03:27,603 --> 01:03:30,470 and I know you think I sold you out 1376 01:03:30,472 --> 01:03:32,572 and I'm not worth a shit. And you know what? 1377 01:03:32,574 --> 01:03:35,275 You're probably right in thinking that. 1378 01:03:35,277 --> 01:03:38,545 I just came here to let you know that I know 1379 01:03:38,547 --> 01:03:43,016 I was wrong and I'm sorry. 1380 01:03:43,018 --> 01:03:44,651 I really am. 1381 01:03:51,025 --> 01:03:53,493 And I guess that's all I had to say. 1382 01:03:55,796 --> 01:03:57,697 You up for a party? 1383 01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:01,668 One last hurrah in The Cave? 1384 01:04:07,508 --> 01:04:11,278 ♪ Chris Reeder "Taking Over" ♪ 1385 01:04:14,548 --> 01:04:16,616 ♪♪ 1386 01:04:27,862 --> 01:04:29,929 ♪♪ 1387 01:04:34,635 --> 01:04:35,502 Hug me. 1388 01:04:35,504 --> 01:04:36,603 What's wrong? 1389 01:04:36,605 --> 01:04:38,672 I look like hell. 1390 01:04:42,610 --> 01:04:44,311 - Hey, beauty. - Hi. 1391 01:04:45,546 --> 01:04:46,646 You know anybody here? 1392 01:04:46,648 --> 01:04:48,315 Nope. 1393 01:04:48,317 --> 01:04:49,516 Wanna dance? 1394 01:04:49,518 --> 01:04:50,517 Yes, please. 1395 01:04:54,689 --> 01:04:56,556 ♪♪ 1396 01:05:01,996 --> 01:05:03,697 Baby. 1397 01:05:03,699 --> 01:05:06,066 Baby. 1398 01:05:10,705 --> 01:05:12,939 You guys look so great together. 1399 01:05:12,941 --> 01:05:16,376 Thank you. Um, almost two years. 1400 01:05:16,378 --> 01:05:18,712 It's so weird how quickly it all goes by. Right baby? 1401 01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,013 - So weird. Yeah. - Yeah. 1402 01:05:20,015 --> 01:05:21,081 Flies by. 1403 01:05:23,918 --> 01:05:25,585 I'm sorry. I always do this. 1404 01:05:25,587 --> 01:05:27,854 You know my, my therapist, she says that, uh... 1405 01:05:27,856 --> 01:05:29,789 large social gatherings bring out my insecurities 1406 01:05:29,791 --> 01:05:31,491 or something crazy like that. 1407 01:05:31,493 --> 01:05:32,726 Oh, you're in therapy? 1408 01:05:32,728 --> 01:05:34,094 Yeah, is that a problem? 1409 01:05:34,096 --> 01:05:36,796 Oh no. I just had no idea you were in therapy. 1410 01:05:36,798 --> 01:05:38,565 Can you stop saying it like that? 1411 01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:39,466 Like what? 1412 01:05:39,468 --> 01:05:40,633 Like all judgey? 1413 01:05:40,635 --> 01:05:42,102 Who's judgey? I'm not judgey. 1414 01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:43,570 You totally are. I can see it in your eyes. 1415 01:05:43,572 --> 01:05:44,571 No, I'm not. 1416 01:05:44,573 --> 01:05:46,106 You are! 1417 01:05:47,708 --> 01:05:49,509 Maybe you should get some therapy to deal 1418 01:05:49,511 --> 01:05:51,111 with your insecurity about being in therapy? 1419 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:52,645 Hmm, maybe you should fuck yourself. 1420 01:05:52,647 --> 01:05:54,748 Excuse me? 1421 01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:55,949 Baby, I'm sorry. That, oh, that wasn't me. 1422 01:05:55,951 --> 01:05:57,684 I'm so sorry. Come here, please. I'm sorry. 1423 01:05:57,686 --> 01:06:01,154 It's okay. It's fine. 1424 01:06:04,925 --> 01:06:06,126 What was that? 1425 01:06:06,128 --> 01:06:07,627 Just a pill. 1426 01:06:08,596 --> 01:06:10,630 ♪♪ 1427 01:06:10,632 --> 01:06:15,668 [inaudible dialogue] 1428 01:06:15,670 --> 01:06:21,708 ♪♪ 1429 01:06:21,710 --> 01:06:23,643 For our anniversary, we were thinking Cabo 1430 01:06:23,645 --> 01:06:25,445 or maybe Hawaii. 1431 01:06:25,447 --> 01:06:27,781 It really doesn't matter as long as it's tropical. 1432 01:06:27,783 --> 01:06:28,848 And he can golf. 1433 01:06:28,850 --> 01:06:29,749 Love golf. 1434 01:06:29,751 --> 01:06:36,723 ♪♪ 1435 01:06:36,725 --> 01:06:41,795 ♪♪ 1436 01:06:41,797 --> 01:06:46,199 ♪♪ 1437 01:06:54,074 --> 01:06:56,109 Where are you going? 1438 01:06:56,111 --> 01:06:58,945 Uh, I was just going to let you rest. 1439 01:06:58,947 --> 01:07:00,713 But I don't need rest. 1440 01:07:00,715 --> 01:07:03,049 and we can start the whole night over. Okay? 1441 01:07:03,051 --> 01:07:04,684 We'll do anything you want. 1442 01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:06,786 Can we leave? 1443 01:07:09,557 --> 01:07:11,791 Sure. 1444 01:07:11,793 --> 01:07:15,695 What? Oh my God! That's so wonderful! 1445 01:07:15,697 --> 01:07:17,597 Isn't that great, baby? 1446 01:07:17,599 --> 01:07:19,065 Congratulations. 1447 01:07:22,736 --> 01:07:23,970 Shit. 1448 01:07:23,972 --> 01:07:25,705 Beth! Beth! 1449 01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:34,214 Andre! 1450 01:07:34,216 --> 01:07:36,850 Anna? 1451 01:07:36,852 --> 01:07:38,718 Who's this? 1452 01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:40,753 Uh, his girl. 1453 01:07:40,755 --> 01:07:42,755 Who the hell are you? 1454 01:07:42,757 --> 01:07:45,992 I'm Anna. His girl. 1455 01:07:45,994 --> 01:07:48,027 Anna! Anna! Wait! 1456 01:07:48,029 --> 01:07:49,729 Shit, wait! 1457 01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:51,698 [speaking Spanish] 1458 01:07:51,700 --> 01:07:57,103 [♪ Neon Parade "Boys Will B Boyz" ♪] 1459 01:07:57,105 --> 01:08:03,776 ♪♪ 1460 01:08:03,778 --> 01:08:08,815 ♪♪ 1461 01:08:08,817 --> 01:08:11,184 Hey, you okay? 1462 01:08:11,186 --> 01:08:12,719 Yeah, I'm fine. 1463 01:08:12,721 --> 01:08:14,187 I'm gonna go grab a drink. Okay? 1464 01:08:14,189 --> 01:08:16,723 And when I get back, just... 1465 01:08:16,725 --> 01:08:18,291 Okay? 1466 01:08:18,293 --> 01:08:23,563 ♪♪ 1467 01:08:23,565 --> 01:08:26,866 [♪ Golden State "Take Me Out" ♪] 1468 01:08:26,868 --> 01:08:28,735 [whispers] I'm sorry. 1469 01:08:28,737 --> 01:08:30,803 ♪♪ 1470 01:09:16,984 --> 01:09:19,052 ♪♪ 1471 01:09:24,892 --> 01:09:26,859 [♪ song fades out ♪] 1472 01:09:26,861 --> 01:09:28,695 E. 1473 01:09:29,663 --> 01:09:32,031 [♪ dance music ♪] 1474 01:09:36,804 --> 01:09:38,204 I gotta go. 1475 01:09:38,206 --> 01:09:40,707 Yeah, so do I. 1476 01:09:42,209 --> 01:09:44,744 Hey, you ready? 1477 01:09:44,746 --> 01:09:46,212 Are you? 1478 01:09:46,214 --> 01:09:47,981 Yeah, let's roll. 1479 01:09:47,983 --> 01:09:49,048 All right. 1480 01:09:53,153 --> 01:09:55,388 Huh. Where're they going? 1481 01:09:55,390 --> 01:09:57,790 I don't know where they're going. 1482 01:09:58,859 --> 01:10:00,827 Let's go. 1483 01:10:00,829 --> 01:10:07,100 ♪♪ 1484 01:10:07,102 --> 01:10:09,168 ♪♪ 1485 01:10:21,949 --> 01:10:23,983 Let's go. Come on. 1486 01:10:31,859 --> 01:10:34,794 [clears throat] Uh... 1487 01:10:34,796 --> 01:10:38,398 Did I, uh, did I ever tell you about the time in college 1488 01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,167 when I was with twins? 1489 01:10:41,169 --> 01:10:44,003 You know, I mean, it was weird because, I mean, 1490 01:10:44,005 --> 01:10:48,041 one of them had these just really beautiful tits 1491 01:10:48,043 --> 01:10:53,413 and you know, the other, she was flat as a pancake. 1492 01:10:53,415 --> 01:10:55,748 Which made me wonder, I mean, were they identical 1493 01:10:55,750 --> 01:10:57,950 or fraternal twins because I mean, yeah, sure they had 1494 01:10:57,952 --> 01:11:02,188 very similar faces, but their breasts 1495 01:11:02,190 --> 01:11:05,358 were completely different sizes. 1496 01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:06,959 [clears throat] 1497 01:11:09,063 --> 01:11:10,830 Thanks, Jay. 1498 01:11:12,132 --> 01:11:14,100 Go get him. 1499 01:11:19,206 --> 01:11:21,374 I'm an idiot. 1500 01:11:21,376 --> 01:11:25,378 ♪♪ 1501 01:11:25,380 --> 01:11:27,980 [car engine starts] 1502 01:11:29,850 --> 01:11:31,918 Hey, are you okay? 1503 01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:34,287 Yeah, no. I'm fine. 1504 01:11:36,957 --> 01:11:41,060 [muffled dance music] 1505 01:11:50,337 --> 01:11:52,305 Anna, wait. 1506 01:11:52,307 --> 01:11:54,173 Anna! Anna! Anna! Wait wait wait. 1507 01:11:54,175 --> 01:11:56,142 Andre, stop. I don't want to hear it, okay? 1508 01:11:56,144 --> 01:11:58,111 - Just listen for one second. - Stop. 1509 01:11:59,313 --> 01:12:00,346 Anna. 1510 01:12:00,348 --> 01:12:01,948 - LAX, please. - Anna, don't. 1511 01:12:01,950 --> 01:12:04,083 Don't do this. 1512 01:12:10,524 --> 01:12:12,191 [car engine starts] 1513 01:12:12,193 --> 01:12:13,326 LAX? 1514 01:12:13,328 --> 01:12:14,527 Hi. 1515 01:12:14,529 --> 01:12:19,966 [talk radio playing in cab] 1516 01:12:19,968 --> 01:12:20,466 Beth. 1517 01:12:20,468 --> 01:12:21,300 Let go. 1518 01:12:21,302 --> 01:12:22,802 Please just stop. 1519 01:12:22,804 --> 01:12:24,170 You are hurting me. 1520 01:12:24,172 --> 01:12:25,772 [splashing] 1521 01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:27,540 Oh my! 1522 01:12:30,110 --> 01:12:34,547 [splashing, Beth laughs] 1523 01:12:34,549 --> 01:12:36,883 Here! 1524 01:12:40,187 --> 01:12:42,054 [Beth yells, splashing] 1525 01:12:42,056 --> 01:12:45,892 [laughing] Oh my God! 1526 01:12:51,165 --> 01:12:52,298 Dean. 1527 01:12:52,300 --> 01:12:53,800 Yeah? 1528 01:12:55,502 --> 01:12:57,103 I love you. 1529 01:13:06,313 --> 01:13:10,016 [intercom] Next stop: Union Station 1530 01:13:10,018 --> 01:13:12,518 You hear that voice, Dean? 1531 01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:14,220 What voice? 1532 01:13:14,222 --> 01:13:16,389 The voice in your head. 1533 01:13:16,391 --> 01:13:18,591 You mean you? 1534 01:13:18,593 --> 01:13:21,494 Exactly and what am I telling you to do? 1535 01:13:21,496 --> 01:13:24,564 [♪ Names of Stars "Are You" ♪] 1536 01:13:28,869 --> 01:13:30,937 ♪♪ 1537 01:14:14,514 --> 01:14:16,582 ♪♪ 1538 01:14:18,285 --> 01:14:21,153 [Jay and woman giggle behind curtain] 1539 01:14:21,155 --> 01:14:22,421 Hey, guys? 1540 01:14:22,423 --> 01:14:25,992 [giggling continues] 1541 01:14:25,994 --> 01:14:27,660 Tess, I need to speak with you. 1542 01:14:27,662 --> 01:14:31,163 [giggling, moaning] 1543 01:14:31,165 --> 01:14:32,498 Shit. 1544 01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,600 No. Stop. 1545 01:14:34,602 --> 01:14:36,202 Dude. 1546 01:14:36,204 --> 01:14:38,671 Hey, I need to speak with Tess for a second. 1547 01:14:38,673 --> 01:14:40,907 That's great. Not here. 1548 01:14:40,909 --> 01:14:41,607 She's not? 1549 01:14:41,609 --> 01:14:44,944 Is he joining us? 1550 01:14:46,647 --> 01:14:50,082 Oh, thank God. 1551 01:14:52,653 --> 01:14:53,452 It frightens him. 1552 01:14:53,454 --> 01:14:55,521 ♪♪ 1553 01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:08,668 ♪♪ 1554 01:15:10,537 --> 01:15:11,604 Hi. 1555 01:15:19,479 --> 01:15:21,614 So. 1556 01:15:21,616 --> 01:15:23,215 So. 1557 01:15:25,218 --> 01:15:29,255 So I take it things didn't go so hot for you and Jay? 1558 01:15:29,257 --> 01:15:31,357 Looks that way. 1559 01:15:31,359 --> 01:15:33,192 How about you and Kat? 1560 01:15:33,194 --> 01:15:36,996 Oh, you know. She told me she loved me. 1561 01:15:36,998 --> 01:15:39,165 And what'd you say? 1562 01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:42,335 I said thanks. 1563 01:15:42,337 --> 01:15:44,236 Thanks? 1564 01:15:44,238 --> 01:15:45,705 Thanks. 1565 01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:48,207 No thanks. 1566 01:15:48,209 --> 01:15:51,344 Yeah, I don't know. She just wasn't the one. 1567 01:15:51,346 --> 01:15:52,345 Too many issues, you know? 1568 01:15:52,347 --> 01:15:54,046 You or her? 1569 01:15:54,048 --> 01:15:55,281 What? I don't have issues. 1570 01:15:55,283 --> 01:15:56,315 Are you on crack? 1571 01:15:56,317 --> 01:15:58,351 Not at the moment. 1572 01:15:58,353 --> 01:16:00,319 First of all, you're self-abusive. 1573 01:16:00,321 --> 01:16:02,288 What? Like in what way? 1574 01:16:02,290 --> 01:16:04,590 Like in the way you love being miserable. 1575 01:16:04,592 --> 01:16:06,492 I don't think that's accurate. 1576 01:16:06,494 --> 01:16:08,127 Okay. You know, just keep living 1577 01:16:08,129 --> 01:16:10,329 in your fantasy world, Dean. 1578 01:16:10,331 --> 01:16:13,199 As if you don't have issues? 1579 01:16:13,201 --> 01:16:16,235 Miss look for the signs? Ooh, God. Look! The signs! 1580 01:16:16,237 --> 01:16:17,236 They're there. 1581 01:16:17,238 --> 01:16:19,238 I never said I didn't. 1582 01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:20,373 So you don't deny it? 1583 01:16:20,375 --> 01:16:22,441 No. I don't deny it. 1584 01:16:22,443 --> 01:16:24,443 So you're saying you have issues? 1585 01:16:24,445 --> 01:16:26,345 Have I told you how much I hate you? 1586 01:16:26,347 --> 01:16:28,214 You don't hate me. 1587 01:16:28,216 --> 01:16:30,549 No, really. I do. 1588 01:16:30,551 --> 01:16:32,685 You really hate me? 1589 01:16:32,687 --> 01:16:35,154 No, Dean. 1590 01:16:35,156 --> 01:16:37,289 I don't hate you. 1591 01:16:44,464 --> 01:16:46,265 Taxi! 1592 01:16:50,737 --> 01:16:54,507 That's my ride. 1593 01:17:01,581 --> 01:17:05,351 Okay. Goodnight then. 1594 01:17:18,465 --> 01:17:20,533 And well played. 1595 01:17:25,105 --> 01:17:31,277 [♪ romantic music ♪] 1596 01:17:31,279 --> 01:17:33,279 Hey! Are those fresh? 1597 01:17:33,281 --> 01:17:35,481 Go get her, you idiot. 1598 01:17:35,483 --> 01:17:42,188 ♪♪ 1599 01:17:42,190 --> 01:17:48,661 ♪♪ 1600 01:17:48,663 --> 01:17:54,667 ♪♪ 1601 01:17:54,669 --> 01:18:00,439 ♪♪ 1602 01:18:00,441 --> 01:18:07,213 ♪♪ 1603 01:18:07,215 --> 01:18:09,448 ♪♪ 1604 01:18:09,450 --> 01:18:12,184 No no no no. 1605 01:18:12,186 --> 01:18:14,153 Dammit. 1606 01:18:15,789 --> 01:18:17,523 Fuck. 1607 01:18:17,525 --> 01:18:19,391 [tires screeching] 1608 01:18:19,393 --> 01:18:25,498 ♪♪ 1609 01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:28,400 ♪♪ 1610 01:18:28,402 --> 01:18:30,469 What is this asshole doing? 1611 01:18:30,471 --> 01:18:32,404 What are you talking about? 1612 01:18:32,406 --> 01:18:34,640 ♪♪ 1613 01:18:34,642 --> 01:18:37,810 Um, I'm gonna. I wanna get out here, okay? 1614 01:18:37,812 --> 01:18:39,745 Here you go. Thank you. 1615 01:18:39,747 --> 01:18:45,651 ♪♪ 1616 01:18:45,653 --> 01:18:52,291 ♪♪ 1617 01:18:52,293 --> 01:18:57,763 ♪♪ 1618 01:18:57,765 --> 01:19:01,467 ♪♪ 1619 01:19:01,469 --> 01:19:05,671 Here. For dealing with my crap. 1620 01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:09,441 I'll take 'em. 1621 01:19:10,310 --> 01:19:13,279 I love you so much. 1622 01:19:13,281 --> 01:19:19,718 ♪♪ 1623 01:19:19,720 --> 01:19:23,756 [song fades out] 1624 01:19:39,773 --> 01:19:41,507 True story? 1625 01:19:42,976 --> 01:19:45,311 Just a story. 1626 01:19:53,653 --> 01:19:55,487 Ice cream! 1627 01:19:56,289 --> 01:19:59,558 [wrestling, indistinct dialogue] 1628 01:19:59,560 --> 01:20:01,260 What the fuck are you gonna do? 1629 01:20:01,262 --> 01:20:03,295 I will fucking hump you right now. 1630 01:20:03,297 --> 01:20:06,398 [laughs] Oh my God! 1631 01:20:20,313 --> 01:20:22,915 You think Jay is gonna be okay? 1632 01:20:26,519 --> 01:20:28,787 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to warn you. 1633 01:20:28,789 --> 01:20:31,023 I kinda went through an experimental phase. 1634 01:20:31,025 --> 01:20:34,560 No way. Me too. 1635 01:20:36,796 --> 01:20:38,831 Yeah, he'll be fine. 1636 01:20:38,833 --> 01:20:43,369 All right. Got everything? 1637 01:20:43,371 --> 01:20:45,537 Yeah. Definitely. 1638 01:20:49,042 --> 01:20:53,979 ♪♪ 1639 01:20:53,981 --> 01:21:00,486 ♪♪ 1640 01:21:00,488 --> 01:21:02,521 [keyboard typing] 1641 01:21:02,523 --> 01:21:08,394 ♪♪ 1642 01:21:08,396 --> 01:21:13,565 ♪♪ 1643 01:21:13,567 --> 01:21:17,703 [♪ Name of Stars "This Place" ♪] 1644 01:21:17,705 --> 01:21:19,772 ♪♪ 1645 01:22:03,550 --> 01:22:05,617 ♪♪ 1646 01:22:09,022 --> 01:22:11,423 Yeah, you know, here's the thing about masturbation. 1647 01:22:11,425 --> 01:22:16,562 It is like a cookie, because at first you like it, 1648 01:22:16,564 --> 01:22:18,630 then you regret it, and kind of get a little farty. 1649 01:22:18,632 --> 01:22:21,100 Seriously? We're still filming this? 1650 01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:24,603 [Dean and Tess singing] Kie kissing my bro. 1651 01:22:24,605 --> 01:22:27,606 - Cause he is dead! - And he is dead! 1652 01:22:27,608 --> 01:22:28,674 - Woo! - [blows raspberry] 1653 01:22:28,676 --> 01:22:32,578 Yep. It's that time. 1654 01:22:32,580 --> 01:22:34,813 Oh! 1655 01:22:34,815 --> 01:22:36,448 Really? 1656 01:22:36,450 --> 01:22:37,783 She's making you miserable, my friend. 1657 01:22:37,785 --> 01:22:40,753 I know. 1658 01:22:40,755 --> 01:22:42,688 [laughs] 1659 01:22:42,690 --> 01:22:44,056 Guys, Kenny is schvitzing 1660 01:22:44,058 --> 01:22:46,825 like a "schvintagoyd" over here. 1661 01:22:46,827 --> 01:22:49,595 I'll do the crotch adjustment this time, sir. 1662 01:22:49,597 --> 01:22:51,630 [crew] I don't know if we'llt unless you really-- 1663 01:22:51,632 --> 01:22:52,765 Oh, you'll see it. 1664 01:22:52,767 --> 01:22:54,867 [laughs] 1665 01:22:55,602 --> 01:22:56,769 Oh! Ow! 1666 01:22:56,771 --> 01:23:01,173 First of all, I just clocked you. Are you okay? 1667 01:23:01,175 --> 01:23:03,542 - I'm fine. - Okay. 1668 01:23:06,079 --> 01:23:07,746 [laughs] 1669 01:23:07,748 --> 01:23:10,916 Ah! I'm so close! I want a big one! 1670 01:23:10,918 --> 01:23:12,718 I want a really big one! Don't look at anything! 1671 01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:14,586 Don't--say something! Say something! 1672 01:23:14,588 --> 01:23:16,088 Don't say anything! Don't say anything! 1673 01:23:16,090 --> 01:23:17,990 Oh, where's the light. I see the light! 1674 01:23:17,992 --> 01:23:19,925 The tingles are coming! 1675 01:23:19,927 --> 01:23:22,761 Feel free to use that in your script, son. 1676 01:23:22,763 --> 01:23:24,630 Who wants a drink? Sweetheart, oh God, 1677 01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:25,831 you look lonely. 1678 01:23:25,833 --> 01:23:26,698 Cut! 1679 01:23:26,700 --> 01:23:28,967 [laughter] 1680 01:23:28,969 --> 01:23:30,702 Guess what no is in spanish? 1681 01:23:30,704 --> 01:23:31,570 What? 1682 01:23:31,572 --> 01:23:32,638 No! 1683 01:23:32,640 --> 01:23:34,807 [indistinct dialogue] 1684 01:23:34,809 --> 01:23:36,809 Don't say anything! Don't say anything! 1685 01:23:36,811 --> 01:23:39,711 Stop moving your head! Stop it! Okay! 1686 01:23:39,713 --> 01:23:42,181 [car door slams] 1687 01:23:42,183 --> 01:23:44,583 Vroom! Vroom! 1688 01:23:44,585 --> 01:23:45,551 - He won! - Uh huh. 1689 01:23:45,553 --> 01:23:46,151 Look at the guy that won! 1690 01:23:46,153 --> 01:23:46,952 [creaking, screaming] 1691 01:23:46,954 --> 01:23:48,153 Cut! 1692 01:23:48,155 --> 01:23:50,556 Okay! 1693 01:23:50,558 --> 01:23:51,757 [laughing] 1694 01:23:51,759 --> 01:23:53,725 Action! 1695 01:23:54,727 --> 01:23:55,794 You're... 1696 01:23:55,796 --> 01:23:57,162 What's the first line? 1697 01:23:57,164 --> 01:23:58,564 [laughing] 1698 01:23:59,699 --> 01:24:02,000 - Move over. - Well, I just... 1699 01:24:02,002 --> 01:24:03,068 We could still like do other stuff. 1700 01:24:03,070 --> 01:24:03,869 No, no! There's -- 1701 01:24:03,871 --> 01:24:04,903 And, cut! 1702 01:24:04,905 --> 01:24:07,072 [laughs] 1703 01:24:07,074 --> 01:24:10,075 Fuck you, Stan! It's like [indistinct] [trails off] 1704 01:24:10,077 --> 01:24:11,977 [laughs] 1705 01:24:14,247 --> 01:24:19,818 [singing] Do do do do do do... 1706 01:24:19,820 --> 01:24:20,686 Cut! 1707 01:24:20,688 --> 01:24:22,087 Please make me stop. 1708 01:24:22,089 --> 01:24:23,021 Get out of it! Get out of it! 1709 01:24:23,023 --> 01:24:23,889 Roll off! 1710 01:24:23,891 --> 01:24:24,857 What? 1711 01:24:24,859 --> 01:24:25,757 Roll it off. 1712 01:24:25,759 --> 01:24:28,193 Oh, oh. [screams] 1713 01:24:28,195 --> 01:24:29,728 [exhales loudly] 1714 01:24:29,730 --> 01:24:30,796 Jesus. 1715 01:24:30,798 --> 01:24:31,530 And that's a wrap! 1716 01:24:31,532 --> 01:24:32,531 Cut. 1717 01:24:32,533 --> 01:24:34,199 [laughs] 1718 01:24:34,201 --> 01:24:39,071 ♪♪ 1719 01:26:36,222 --> 01:26:38,991 [song ends]