1
00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:03,588
Okay, we all know why we're over here.

2
00:00:03,589 --> 00:00:05,146
Because we're always here?

3
00:00:05,148 --> 00:00:07,505
Partly, but today Bobby's heading off

4
00:00:07,506 --> 00:00:10,178
to do his first pro golf
tournament in years.

5
00:00:10,213 --> 00:00:11,206
To Bobby!

6
00:00:11,997 --> 00:00:13,102
To me!

7
00:00:13,194 --> 00:00:16,869
Jules, I didn't know that you
sponsor an African child.

8
00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,430
Oh, yeah. Little Omari. He's 10.

9
00:00:19,903 --> 00:00:22,324
I got to say, those letters are
getting a little repetitive--

10
00:00:22,325 --> 00:00:24,882
"It's hot, I'm hungry,
there's snakes," you know.

11
00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:25,874
Sure, sure.

12
00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:31,590
But it would be great if we did
actual volunteer work, you know?

13
00:00:31,717 --> 00:00:33,457
I raise money for public schools.

14
00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:36,599
I help eradicate non-indigenous
species in the Everglades.

15
00:00:36,877 --> 00:00:38,085
I don't know what that means.

16
00:00:38,086 --> 00:00:41,438
I volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Being a taster doesn't count.

17
00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:43,617
I volunteer at a women's shelter.

18
00:00:43,618 --> 00:00:46,594
So everybody does charity
work except for Andy and me?

19
00:00:46,641 --> 00:00:49,904
I volunteer at the shelter, too.
During self-defense classes,

20
00:00:49,905 --> 00:00:51,745
the women take turns
kicking me in the crotch.

21
00:00:51,746 --> 00:00:53,265
So it's like a day at home for you.

22
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:58,758
Laugh! I am totally tweeting that.

23
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:02,224
"Another day, another kick in the crotch."

24
00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:06,294
The larmy is gonna love this one.
That's my Twitter name.

25
00:01:06,302 --> 00:01:10,158
"TheLArmy" stands for "the Laurie's army."

26
00:01:10,882 --> 00:01:13,698
Good God. An army of jelly beans.

27
00:01:15,747 --> 00:01:17,378
Bobby, I wish you'd let me go with you.

28
00:01:17,379 --> 00:01:18,634
Sorry, J-Bird. If you're there,

29
00:01:18,635 --> 00:01:20,537
I'll be as nervous as a
rabbit at a racetrack.

30
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,215
What did he say? 
I have no idea.

31
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,988
You can come Saturday if I make the cut.

32
00:01:23,989 --> 00:01:25,944
When you make the cut.

33
00:01:25,945 --> 00:01:28,865
Okay, everybody, let's hold hands.
Come on. Get... no!

34
00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:31,699
Come on. Let's do it.
Bobby, give me your lucky visor.

35
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:34,414
Now, everyone, close your eyes.

36
00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:38,620
Feel your body's positive
energy, all of it.

37
00:01:38,621 --> 00:01:40,969
Feel it flowing through the hat.

38
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,704
This is what I do with my life now.

39
00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:46,173
I'm instructing the larmy
to tweet positive vibes.

40
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,293
They're called twibes.

41
00:01:47,294 --> 00:01:50,318
Bobby doesn't need vibes. I'm his caddy.

42
00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:52,408
Got it covered.

43
00:01:52,409 --> 00:01:55,241
His putter's on top of the car.
I know that.

44
00:01:56,094 --> 00:01:58,462
And away we go.

45
00:02:00,017 --> 00:02:03,586
Positive vibes on the car, everyone!
Positive vibes!

46
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:08,881
Just when I thought your bar
couldn't get any less cool...

47
00:02:08,882 --> 00:02:10,194
Bar trivia!

48
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,222
Welcome to T.G.I. Grayson's, everyone.

49
00:02:14,929 --> 00:02:16,420
It'll be good for business.

50
00:02:16,421 --> 00:02:18,121
Ugh. These games are designed

51
00:02:18,122 --> 00:02:21,210
to make you feel like a fool
in front of total strangers.

52
00:02:21,311 --> 00:02:22,953
I mean, seriously, it's my biggest fear.

53
00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:25,433
When it happens, I go
into total-body shutdown.

54
00:02:25,439 --> 00:02:28,158
I-I can't speak.
I look like a super-sexy corpse.

55
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,686
Way to self-compliment.

56
00:02:29,906 --> 00:02:31,088
I thought I snuck it in there.

57
00:02:31,089 --> 00:02:34,717
Okay. Let's play.
Jelly Bean's out, for obvious reasons.

58
00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:35,792
What? Why me?

59
00:02:35,793 --> 00:02:37,635
Jules is also out... biggest fear.

60
00:02:37,636 --> 00:02:41,781
Biggest fear. So that leaves
me, college, and the bartender

61
00:02:41,782 --> 00:02:45,365
who pretends he's smart but who
methinks is secretly a jelly.

62
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:47,375
Oh, it's on, ice woman.

63
00:02:47,945 --> 00:02:49,657
What's Bobby's lucky visor doing here?

64
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:52,233
Oh, no. He and Andy stopped
by here for lunch.

65
00:02:52,234 --> 00:02:54,289
They must have forgotten it.
Oh, great.

66
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,832
Are we sure Andy's the right
person to take care of him?

67
00:02:58,214 --> 00:03:00,742
All right. Everything's put away.

68
00:03:01,104 --> 00:03:02,927
You think I can fit in this duffel bag?

69
00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:05,632
I do not.

70
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,213
Okay, we're agreed.

71
00:03:07,214 --> 00:03:09,945
Whoever loses trivia has to
drive Bobby's visor to him.

72
00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:11,786
What?! You're not even playing!
I know.

73
00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:13,997
He's just pissy 'cause he's in last place.

74
00:03:14,385 --> 00:03:17,298
You okay there, buddy?
You seem a little dumb.

75
00:03:17,382 --> 00:03:19,064
Yeah, what, does your
college just let anyone in?

76
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:22,970
No, you have to be really good at art...
so yeah.

77
00:03:23,058 --> 00:03:26,609
I am so glad I'm not playing that game.
I mean, look.

78
00:03:26,783 --> 00:03:28,978
Some doctor named Benjamin Rush

79
00:03:28,979 --> 00:03:30,709
signed the Declaration of Independence?

80
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,380
Hmm.

81
00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:34,944
The only two names I know are
John Hancock and Richard Stands.

82
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:38,768
John Hancock is a real person?
I thought it was a sex act.

83
00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:40,937
Okay, so now that I feel so guilty,

84
00:03:40,938 --> 00:03:43,221
what charity do you think
I should jump into?

85
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:46,377
Do mine! It's called the Wonder of Reading,

86
00:03:46,378 --> 00:03:49,371
and we help raise funding to keep
libraries in public schools.

87
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,797
I went to a crap school
in a crap neighborhood,

88
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,630
and reading really got me out. 
Aw, really?

89
00:03:55,121 --> 00:03:57,397
No, car modeling did,

90
00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:59,568
but it's really fun to say reading did.

91
00:03:59,878 --> 00:04:00,718
Damn it!

92
00:04:00,719 --> 00:04:03,342
How the hell am I supposed
to know who Bob Griese is?

93
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,460
Sorry, sport. Good news--
We'll never call you "sport" again,

94
00:04:06,461 --> 00:04:09,198
'cause obviously, you know
nothing about sports.

95
00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,601
Bad news is, you have to drive two hours

96
00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:14,867
to deliver a magical visor
full of dreams and rainbows.

97
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:18,002
Which are real and important.

98
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,119
I will not be mocked.

99
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,366
"I will not be mocked."

100
00:04:23,505 --> 00:04:24,680
Mom, they're mocking me.

101
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,906
Mocking is bad.

102
00:04:27,973 --> 00:04:29,156
I know, sweetie.

103
00:04:29,157 --> 00:04:33,149
So you drive up there and you
make sure things go smoothly.

104
00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:35,104
Is this really necessary?

105
00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:37,204
Get me outta here, man!

106
00:04:37,205 --> 00:04:40,842
My golfing shoulder's starting to cramp up!
The zipper's stuck!

107
00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:42,393
Oh, my God.

108
00:04:43,846 --> 00:04:47,245
From now on, I'm in charge.
Dad, we have to sign in

109
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,808
at the Clubhouse at 8:00 A.M.
I set your alarm,

110
00:04:49,809 --> 00:04:51,794
laid out some clothes, and
bought you some socks.

111
00:04:51,846 --> 00:04:54,185
Andy, you're gonna be carrying
a heavy bag in the hot sun

112
00:04:54,186 --> 00:04:55,561
for hours. Are you ready for that?

113
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,465
I've been training in the pool for weeks.

114
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,102
I wasn't pointing fingers, Carol.

115
00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:06,280
I just think we should have had

116
00:05:06,281 --> 00:05:08,951
enough coffee and Danish
for the teachers as well.

117
00:05:10,455 --> 00:05:11,834
You are gonna be the best thing

118
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:13,705
that ever happened to this charity,

119
00:05:13,706 --> 00:05:15,577
but I can't believe how
quickly you took over.

120
00:05:16,389 --> 00:05:18,454
Watch this. Shh, shh.

121
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,306
I own the shush clap.

122
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,937
We are so excited about our new library.

123
00:05:24,938 --> 00:05:26,513
Can we give a big round of applause

124
00:05:26,514 --> 00:05:28,433
to the women who helped make it happen?

125
00:05:33,111 --> 00:05:34,781
Would you ladies like to say something?

126
00:05:34,782 --> 00:05:36,462
I didn't prepare anything.

127
00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:38,110
Reading...

128
00:05:38,723 --> 00:05:40,004
Is everything.

129
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:43,012
I grew up in the hood, y'all.

130
00:05:43,499 --> 00:05:46,074
My best friend Jo Jo got shot in the face.

131
00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:48,382
It should have been me,

132
00:05:49,025 --> 00:05:51,317
but... reading got me out.

133
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,093
I think it would be appropriate

134
00:05:53,094 --> 00:05:55,700
if Mrs. Cobb led the pledge of allegiance.

135
00:05:55,795 --> 00:05:57,316
All rise.

136
00:05:57,677 --> 00:05:59,033
Wow. Cool.

137
00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:00,026
Okay.

138
00:06:00,603 --> 00:06:03,245
I pledge allegiance to the flag

139
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,434
of the United States of America

140
00:06:05,527 --> 00:06:08,917
and to the Republic for Richard Stands...

141
00:06:10,978 --> 00:06:12,082
What?

142
00:06:12,157 --> 00:06:14,673
It's "for which it stands."

143
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,546
Oh. Oh, no.

144
00:06:16,547 --> 00:06:20,210
Full-body shutdown. Breathe.
Jules, honey, just breathe.

145
00:06:21,039 --> 00:06:22,351
Help me.

146
00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:34,898
I thought Richard Stands wrote
the Pedge of Allegiance.

147
00:06:35,115 --> 00:06:38,229
That's why he got to sign the
Declaration of Independence.

148
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,020
Of course. Sure.

149
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,436
"Richard Stands" sounds real,

150
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:44,591
like one of those guys that you
don't really know what he did,

151
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:46,593
but there's a beer named after him.

152
00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:48,902
You know who should have
a beer named after them?

153
00:06:49,319 --> 00:06:51,020
Ben Franklin.

154
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:54,800
Yeah, he invented baseball,
he was an awesome president,

155
00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:57,008
and he made the first wig.

156
00:06:57,009 --> 00:06:59,905
Zero of those things are correct. 
Okay.

157
00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:02,349
Those kids are gonna tell
their parents what happened,

158
00:07:02,561 --> 00:07:04,802
their parents are gonna
tell their friends...

159
00:07:05,497 --> 00:07:07,257
This is why you don't do charity work.

160
00:07:07,617 --> 00:07:09,907
I'm gonna go up and get in
my bed for about a week.

161
00:07:09,908 --> 00:07:11,761
Just tell everyone I have mono.

162
00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:14,927
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You shouldn't feel stupid. You know,

163
00:07:14,928 --> 00:07:17,950
most Americans don't even know
who the Secretary of State is.

164
00:07:18,262 --> 00:07:19,717
Please don't ask me.

165
00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:20,704
Well, I don't even know

166
00:07:20,705 --> 00:07:23,849
how many Supreme Court justices there are.
We're all dumb.

167
00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:27,370
Speak for yourself. There are nine. Nine.

168
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,349
Mm-hmm, and how many members
of congress are there?

169
00:07:30,402 --> 00:07:32,242
Well, that's a trick question, 'cause...

170
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:34,469
You know, it depends on, uh...

171
00:07:34,504 --> 00:07:37,238
You know, what the lobbyists
are doing in the districts...

172
00:07:38,966 --> 00:07:41,013
Fine. We're all dumb.
Really?

173
00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,900
I'm so dumb.

174
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:43,645
Yes.

175
00:07:43,646 --> 00:07:45,711
Aw. Thank you.

176
00:07:45,802 --> 00:07:48,563
You know what? From this point forward,

177
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:52,069
what happened at that
school will not bother me.

178
00:07:52,082 --> 00:07:53,602
Attaboy, Richard.

179
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:57,350
That will never be spoken of again,

180
00:07:57,615 --> 00:08:00,442
which is why it will not bother me.
Good-bye.

181
00:08:01,778 --> 00:08:04,706
So... I hear that she kicked your ass.

182
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,588
Must sting to lose to oldie locks.

183
00:08:07,589 --> 00:08:09,161
I let her win.

184
00:08:09,162 --> 00:08:11,017
Really? Let's go again.

185
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:12,649
Ooh. Can I play, too?

186
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:17,770
That would be like taking candy from a baby.
No. An animal baby.

187
00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:21,425
You're so mean.
I swear, I can't get over it.

188
00:08:21,426 --> 00:08:22,662
It's good, right? 
Uh-huh.

189
00:08:22,663 --> 00:08:26,408
Don't take me lightly.
I'm actually better than you think.

190
00:08:26,409 --> 00:08:27,850
You'd have to be.

191
00:08:31,921 --> 00:08:35,445
Ooh! Hot mustard, these
holes are smaller here.

192
00:08:35,446 --> 00:08:37,164
Look, you just need to calm down, okay?

193
00:08:37,165 --> 00:08:39,709
Maybe stop randomly holding
your breath so much?

194
00:08:40,712 --> 00:08:41,484
Andy, what's going on?

195
00:08:41,485 --> 00:08:43,861
You having a little stroke?
I got some water

196
00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:46,176
in my ear this morning, doing

197
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,929
my drills in the hotel pool.
You went in that pool?

198
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,304
It's gross. There's a dead seagull in it.

199
00:08:51,305 --> 00:08:53,562
I better run and get some
rubbing alcohol to dry it out.

200
00:08:53,705 --> 00:08:55,236
No. There's no time.

201
00:08:55,237 --> 00:08:56,682
Man, I'm nervous.

202
00:08:56,683 --> 00:08:59,253
Andy, confidence dance.

203
00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:03,058
Andy...

204
00:09:03,082 --> 00:09:05,050
Man down, Trav. Sub in, baby.

205
00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:20,145
This guy keeps looking at me

206
00:09:20,146 --> 00:09:22,306
like he knows what happened at the school.

207
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:25,180
I bet he's the dad of
that little blonde girl.

208
00:09:25,218 --> 00:09:27,444
They both have the same stupid pony tail.

209
00:09:27,519 --> 00:09:30,306
You're imagining it. Stay strong.

210
00:09:30,465 --> 00:09:31,215
Thank you.

211
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,754
I'm much better now. 
Okay.

212
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:36,854
All right. Time-out on the game.
It's your turn. Three, two, one.

213
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:39,409
Hey, Jules.

214
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:43,665
Hey. I really don't think
that's why he's staring at you.

215
00:09:43,942 --> 00:09:46,789
You know, honey, he probably
just thinks you're really hot.

216
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,777
My calves do look pretty great.

217
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:53,920
You know, the trick is to store
your cookies on the top shelf,

218
00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:56,824
and then you just go for them one...
at a time.

219
00:09:56,825 --> 00:09:58,282
Okay, sweetie.

220
00:09:58,481 --> 00:09:59,318
Game on.

221
00:10:05,099 --> 00:10:08,394
Yes! Ha! The answer is grandma Moses.

222
00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:09,800
You should have gotten that, Ellie.

223
00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:12,521
Weren't the two of you,
like, sorority sisters?

224
00:10:12,522 --> 00:10:15,308
All right. Game off. Bobby's about to play.

225
00:10:15,309 --> 00:10:17,004
No, we're playing!

226
00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:18,557
I said game off.

227
00:10:19,378 --> 00:10:22,600
Next up is Bobby Cobb.
A great story--

228
00:10:22,601 --> 00:10:23,793
A local club pro,

229
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:26,721
and at 40, his career is
getting a second act.

230
00:10:26,722 --> 00:10:28,706
All right, bud. Now or never.

231
00:10:28,814 --> 00:10:30,541
Moment of truth, Bobby!

232
00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:33,030
Am I talking loud?

233
00:10:33,985 --> 00:10:35,248
Let's hold hands. Okay.

234
00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:36,897
Bobby needs positive vibes.

235
00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:38,974
Vibes can't be sent through a TV.

236
00:10:39,021 --> 00:10:41,952
What do you know about vibes?
Or positivity, for that matter?

237
00:10:41,953 --> 00:10:44,799
Come on. Hold my hand.

238
00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:48,974
Beautiful shot!

239
00:10:48,975 --> 00:10:50,685
Whoo!

240
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,441
Psychically strong!

241
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,905
Do you take requests?
'Cause I'd like to talk to my dead parents.

242
00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:56,462
All right, finish the game.

243
00:10:58,411 --> 00:11:01,036
Uh-oh. Last question, and
this one's gonna decide it.

244
00:11:01,136 --> 00:11:04,903
Huh. Where is Mauritania?

245
00:11:07,662 --> 00:11:11,816
Aw, looks like pretty boy is out.
I know this, I know this...

246
00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,938
Doesn't seem like you do. Africa...

247
00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:16,752
Boom! I win!

248
00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:17,773
No!

249
00:11:17,774 --> 00:11:19,726
"Dear TheLArmy--

250
00:11:19,957 --> 00:11:23,893
Operation 'suck it' is complete."

251
00:11:24,102 --> 00:11:25,640
Okay, put Bobby back on.

252
00:11:25,687 --> 00:11:29,493
Well, well. If it isn't Gulf
haven's resident historian.

253
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:32,521
Excuse me? I was talking
with my life coach Kenny--

254
00:11:32,522 --> 00:11:36,170
Yes, I have a life coach,
which is why I'm kicking ass!

255
00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:37,681
His daughter told him

256
00:11:37,682 --> 00:11:40,769
about your recent pledge
gaffe at her school.

257
00:11:42,714 --> 00:11:44,186
I knew it.

258
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:48,351
Richard Stands. Yeesh.

259
00:11:48,652 --> 00:11:50,204
Oh, but thank you.

260
00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:52,113
Everybody's gonna know.

261
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,234
Hey, Bobby's back on.

262
00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:58,425
All right, it's 260 yards to the green.

263
00:11:58,777 --> 00:12:02,482
My brain says play it safe, but
my man parts say go for it.

264
00:12:02,585 --> 00:12:03,985
Andy, hand me the hammer.

265
00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:06,723
I can't hear anything.
Act out what you said.

266
00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:11,737
Oh, hammer! 
Okay.

267
00:12:15,557 --> 00:12:16,485
Dear lord,

268
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,921
you know I don't bother you
unless it's important.

269
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:21,746
Except for the time that I asked
you to speed up my bangs.

270
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,917
I'm sorry. It was just-- seemed so serious.

271
00:12:25,689 --> 00:12:27,834
But this is a true emergency.

272
00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:31,444
Please, please, take the
spotlight off of me

273
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:34,533
and put it onto someone else. Amen.

274
00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:46,071
Ohh! Whoo-hoo!

275
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,583
That's a great--
Oh, no. Bobby Cobb has just

276
00:12:49,584 --> 00:12:52,212
hit his competitor's ball onto the green.
What?

277
00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:53,710
I don't think he even knows

278
00:12:53,711 --> 00:12:56,029
that he's made a huge, huge error.

279
00:12:56,257 --> 00:12:59,613
Bobby celebrates, riding his
club like it's a horse.

280
00:12:59,614 --> 00:13:02,372
That's a 2-stroke penalty for
hitting another player's ball.

281
00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:04,917
Why didn't his caddy stop him?
I don't know.

282
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:06,937
Uh, he appears to be drunk.

283
00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:09,739
What a devastating start
for this local club pro.

284
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,773
I hope our guy is strong
enough to bounce back

285
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:15,182
and not let it sink him.
Uh, he's not.

286
00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:16,854
Now you listen?

287
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:23,113
Not a great day for local
golf pro Bobby Cobb,

288
00:13:23,114 --> 00:13:25,416
who, after hitting another
player's ball in a tournament,

289
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,944
had a full-on meltdown,

290
00:13:26,945 --> 00:13:30,353
not to mention his caddy
stumbling into a sand trap.

291
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,984
Well, at least they didn't use the name.

292
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:36,934
Hats off to you, Bobby "Wrong Balls" Cobb.

293
00:13:36,935 --> 00:13:38,262
You're a legend.

294
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:43,922
You were on TV.
That's neat!

295
00:13:44,162 --> 00:13:45,301
Yeah, I'm going home.

296
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:48,357
Oh, come on, man. Nobody watches sports.

297
00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:52,342
"Wrong Balls" is trending on Twitter.
It's above "Bieber."

298
00:13:53,353 --> 00:13:55,258
Helpful. 
What?

299
00:13:55,322 --> 00:13:57,929
You all sound like that teacher
on the "Peanuts" cartoon.

300
00:13:58,186 --> 00:14:02,073
Get out! Out! Out! Out! Out!
Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!

301
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:03,159
This is my fault.

302
00:14:03,506 --> 00:14:05,849
Travis, blaming yourself
for someone else's actions

303
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:09,036
is ridiculous. Besides, I made this happen

304
00:14:09,037 --> 00:14:11,902
by wishing it so.
I really abused my powers.

305
00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,710
You don't have any powers.

306
00:14:14,106 --> 00:14:16,924
My psychic said you'd say that.
Psychics are stupid.

307
00:14:16,925 --> 00:14:19,473
She said you'd say that.
Well, I can't win at this game.

308
00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:22,329
Calm down. This is my screwup.
Let me go apologize to dad.

309
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:25,781
No. This is my bad.
I get to apologize to him.

310
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,438
Cool! Wizard versus nerd!

311
00:14:28,857 --> 00:14:31,896
"I'll strike you down with my spell!"

312
00:14:31,897 --> 00:14:34,618
"No, science is the answer!"

313
00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:41,742
Ah, aha! I think I got it out.
Somebody say something to me.

314
00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:45,037
Wah, wah-wah, wah, wah-wah.

315
00:14:48,534 --> 00:14:51,605
It chews gum while it eats buffalo wings.

316
00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,241
How did it beat us?

317
00:14:54,405 --> 00:14:55,333
Look...

318
00:14:55,742 --> 00:14:57,092
I used to watch "Jeopardy!" every day

319
00:14:57,093 --> 00:14:59,748
because I had a major lady
rod for Alex Trebek...

320
00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:02,798
Till I found out he was Canadian.
Gross.

321
00:15:02,898 --> 00:15:04,257
This can't end like this.

322
00:15:04,449 --> 00:15:07,660
Team up if you want.
I'll take you both down together.

323
00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:10,686
Want to form an alliance?
Team up like NATO?

324
00:15:10,781 --> 00:15:14,286
Isn't NATO the guy that lived
in O.J.'s guest house? How?

325
00:15:17,605 --> 00:15:20,624
I just don't understand how you
can't see this is all my fault.

326
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,654
Um, because you're not magic?

327
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,837
Aah!

328
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:26,749
Oh, honey, I just wish that
water would come out already.

329
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:30,974
Ah--ah-ha-ha! Oh-ho-ho! Ohh! Ohh!

330
00:15:31,477 --> 00:15:32,726
I believe.

331
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:34,353
Look.

332
00:15:35,605 --> 00:15:37,789
How many of these have you sold? 
Ten.

333
00:15:37,898 --> 00:15:39,736
Okay, I'm gonna buy the rest. Here.

334
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:43,708
Okay. Everybody, we got to find the other ten.
Let's split up.

335
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,220
Okay. No, no. No, move it!

336
00:16:05,306 --> 00:16:07,050
I need that shirt.

337
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,397
Give me the shirt.

338
00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:18,550
You're a weirdo.

339
00:16:19,557 --> 00:16:21,767
This will never be spoken of again.

340
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:22,929
Come on.

341
00:16:23,863 --> 00:16:24,936
What?

342
00:16:25,889 --> 00:16:27,604
"'Sup, TheLArmy?

343
00:16:27,605 --> 00:16:31,677
I'm super busy whipping some chump-houses."

344
00:16:31,678 --> 00:16:32,889
Hey, bartender,

345
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:33,496
how could you miss a

346
00:16:33,497 --> 00:16:36,521
question about bartending?
I don't know, okay?

347
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:39,416
You missed the one about
blood-draining parasites.

348
00:16:39,417 --> 00:16:41,257
Not the same. It is... the same.

349
00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:43,750
All right. What's up?

350
00:16:44,098 --> 00:16:46,646
Mom said I could apologize first,
and then she's going to,

351
00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:49,846
and I quote, "Bring it home
with some real emotion."

352
00:16:50,672 --> 00:16:53,213
Look, you always have my back,
and I feel awful that--

353
00:16:53,214 --> 00:16:54,593
She's inhaling to cut me
off and start talking,

354
00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:56,819
so I just want to close with I love you!
It was my fault.

355
00:16:57,122 --> 00:17:00,616
I was so embarrassed by that
school thing, that I wished

356
00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:03,018
that something bad would happen
to take the spotlight off of me.

357
00:17:03,678 --> 00:17:06,361
I wished that you would mess up.
Okay, Trav, go ahead.

358
00:17:06,362 --> 00:17:07,864
Dive in. Let him know
what you did was worse.

359
00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:09,730
Nope. You win. That's horrible.

360
00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:11,954
So you "noonaned" me? 
What?

361
00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:14,405
"Caddyshack" reference, means
you wanted him to mess up.

362
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:17,079
Oh. Yes, then I "noonaned" you.

363
00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:20,158
I would do anything to take this all back.

364
00:17:20,669 --> 00:17:22,717
I even went out and
bought all these shirts.

365
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:27,406
What kind of jerk would want to
profit from your pain? What up!

366
00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:31,218
Thank you very much.

367
00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:32,710
Yes!

368
00:17:35,307 --> 00:17:38,396
No fair! "Music from the '80s"?
You guys, I'm too young.

369
00:17:38,397 --> 00:17:40,526
All I know about music from the '80s is...

370
00:17:41,062 --> 00:17:42,861
Everything!

371
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,901
I feel good about this.
I slept with a few bands in the '80s.

372
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,553
Yeah, well I hope you banged
your way from A-Ha to ZZ Top,

373
00:17:48,554 --> 00:17:50,106
because we need this.

374
00:17:51,581 --> 00:17:53,917
You always did hate to
be embarrassed, J-Bird.

375
00:17:54,589 --> 00:17:55,865
I'm weird that way.

376
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,890
When somebody humiliates me,
I go straight-up revenge.

377
00:18:00,274 --> 00:18:01,637
Oh. Oh, hey, dad,

378
00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:03,726
what's the name of that
38 special song you like?

379
00:18:03,727 --> 00:18:04,974
"Hold on Loosely."

380
00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:06,420
Thank you.

381
00:18:09,318 --> 00:18:10,484
"Hold on Loosely."

382
00:18:10,485 --> 00:18:14,069
Oh! Game, set, miz-atch!

383
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,232
Aw. Bar's closed!
Everybody out, bar's closed.

384
00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,980
Wow, big brain and rockin' hoots and stems?

385
00:18:19,981 --> 00:18:21,582
Just goes to show you,

386
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:24,958
can never judge a book by its front part.

387
00:18:25,951 --> 00:18:28,400
I'm serious! I'm serious! Everyone out!

388
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:32,647
I've been helping her destroy 'em all day.

389
00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:35,443
You are an evil genius.

390
00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:39,206
I'm just evil. 
Okay. First off,

391
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,172
you know these t-shirts are
non-refundable, right?

392
00:18:41,173 --> 00:18:42,740
Yeah, I saw the sign on the table.

393
00:18:42,741 --> 00:18:45,541
Secondly, you didn't make
anything happen to me.

394
00:18:46,194 --> 00:18:48,717
I know. I mean, I am very powerful.

395
00:18:48,718 --> 00:18:49,533
So powerful.

396
00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:52,829
Yep. You control things with your mind.

397
00:18:53,812 --> 00:18:56,614
I wanted you to do so
well in that tournament.

398
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:58,950
But then I got a little
bit embarrassed, and then

399
00:18:58,951 --> 00:19:02,437
that just went out the window.
I'm just--I'm so sorry, Bobby.

400
00:19:02,921 --> 00:19:05,114
I got a one-word response to that.

401
00:19:07,294 --> 00:19:09,549
Ha! Come on. I want to show you somethin'.

402
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:11,773
Wrong balls!

403
00:19:11,774 --> 00:19:12,668
You know it!

404
00:19:12,669 --> 00:19:14,941
No way. 
Wrong balls! That's right, baby!

405
00:19:16,318 --> 00:19:17,390
Hey, buddy.

406
00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:19,850
Here you go.

407
00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,661
Thanks, Mr. Wrong Balls.

408
00:19:22,845 --> 00:19:25,229
Did you hear that? He called me "mister."

409
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,942
Aw, there's always a first.

410
00:19:27,341 --> 00:19:30,574
Jules, embarrassing things
happen to me a lot.

411
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,052
So what's the point in hiding from it?

412
00:19:33,053 --> 00:19:35,557
I just put on a big smile, and
I say, "I chumped it, world,

413
00:19:35,558 --> 00:19:38,582
and I think it's funny, too."
And next thing you know,

414
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,942
boom, pop culture phenom.

415
00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:42,893
Wrong Balls! 
Hey, call me.

416
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:45,922
Now that I'm famous, my golf
lessons are booked solid.

417
00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:46,912
I don't even have to buy my

418
00:19:46,913 --> 00:19:49,081
own drinks anymore.
Well, you never did that.

419
00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:51,009
Well, now it's not stealing. 
True.

420
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:53,181
And you know how much I like
meatball subs, right? Well,

421
00:19:53,182 --> 00:19:55,933
guess who's the new spokesperson
for Mel's Hoagie Hut?

422
00:19:55,999 --> 00:19:58,170
I can't believe this. Hey, look,

423
00:19:58,171 --> 00:20:00,167
I know you biffed it
with the kids yesterday.

424
00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:02,472
Stupid blabby town.

425
00:20:03,249 --> 00:20:05,737
Just remember, you can't hear
the world laughing at you

426
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,842
if you're laughing harder.
You gotta own it, sugar.

427
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:14,598
Hey. It's me, the "Richard Stands" lady.

428
00:20:17,502 --> 00:20:18,733
Okay, shh-shh.

429
00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:20,948
Now before I start reading,

430
00:20:20,949 --> 00:20:23,541
I thought we would do the
real pledge of allegiance.

431
00:20:23,629 --> 00:20:24,949
All rise.

432
00:20:26,838 --> 00:20:29,308
I pledge allegiance to the flag

433
00:20:29,309 --> 00:20:31,150
of the United States of America,

434
00:20:31,238 --> 00:20:35,110
and to the republic for which it stands,

435
00:20:36,122 --> 00:20:39,338
one nation, under God, invisible...

436
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:42,599
What?

437
00:20:46,763 --> 00:20:48,601
Because God is invisible.

438
00:20:49,713 --> 00:20:50,700
Yeah, yeah...

439
00:20:50,701 --> 00:20:52,033
That makes total sense.

440
00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:55,346
I've never seen God.
No, I've never seen him either.

441
00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:01,833
Bobby "Wrong Balls" Cobb here

442
00:21:01,834 --> 00:21:04,794
for Mel's Hoagie Hut's new meatball sub.

443
00:21:04,974 --> 00:21:07,278
Don't eat, genius.
You won't be able to talk.

444
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:09,555
It's so good...

445
00:21:09,952 --> 00:21:10,789
Cut.

446
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:13,800
Hey, kids. Bobby "Bong Walls" Cobb here--
Cut.

447
00:21:13,801 --> 00:21:16,629
Hey, Bobby "Wrong Balls" Cobb
here, for Mel's Hoagie Hut's

448
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:21,064
new meatball sub.
It's so good, 100% horse-free.

449
00:21:21,065 --> 00:21:22,569
Not a good thing to say.

450
00:21:22,694 --> 00:21:23,905
Take it from me,

451
00:21:23,906 --> 00:21:26,769
don't eat the wrong balls.
Eat the right balls.

452
00:21:26,866 --> 00:21:29,603
Well, finally, one we can use.
Can I eat now?

453
00:21:29,803 --> 00:21:40,003
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