1
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,800
How much is this trophy?
2
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:07,900
Eight bucks.
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,100
I give you three.
4
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,500
Are you kidding? I trained
a whole year for that trophy.
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,336
How about five?
6
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:17,273
Now it's not for sale. You happy?
Get out of here. Scram. Three bucks.
7
00:00:17,307 --> 00:00:19,242
Sammy.
8
00:00:19,276 --> 00:00:20,743
- Yeah?
- What is all this stuff?
9
00:00:20,778 --> 00:00:22,672
Well, my asshole dad packed
everything in my bedroom
10
00:00:22,706 --> 00:00:24,337
And shipped it to me.
11
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:25,469
He's turning my bedroom
into a drinking room.
12
00:00:25,504 --> 00:00:26,967
I thought he
quit drinking.
13
00:00:27,002 --> 00:00:29,231
Nah, that's just
what he told the judge.
14
00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:31,697
Is that a fake mustache?
15
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:34,729
No. This? No. It's
a merkin. Fake pubes.
16
00:00:34,763 --> 00:00:36,362
When I was 12 I
didn't have pubes.
17
00:00:36,397 --> 00:00:37,630
So my dad made me
put this on
18
00:00:37,664 --> 00:00:39,897
Underneath my bathing suit,
you know, just in case.
19
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:41,331
That is really messed up.
20
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:43,371
I didn't have pubes.
21
00:00:43,406 --> 00:00:44,806
How much for
the fake mustache?
22
00:00:44,841 --> 00:00:46,841
Oh, this? Two bucks.
23
00:00:48,741 --> 00:00:51,073
Hey, Sammy...
24
00:00:51,107 --> 00:00:52,074
Thank you very much.
25
00:00:52,109 --> 00:00:55,181
Oh, thank you
very much!
26
00:00:55,216 --> 00:00:57,282
Can you believe he made me wear
that thing? What an asshole.
27
00:00:57,316 --> 00:00:58,785
Oh yeah, he's
the asshole.
28
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:24,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com
29
00:01:29,241 --> 00:01:31,408
Holy shit!
Holy shit, Alex!
30
00:01:31,443 --> 00:01:33,609
Holy shit! Holy shit!
31
00:01:33,644 --> 00:01:36,511
Alex, you won't believe the
letter you got in the mail today.
32
00:01:36,546 --> 00:01:38,012
Why are you
opening my mail?
33
00:01:38,046 --> 00:01:40,114
Dude, look.
34
00:01:40,148 --> 00:01:41,648
This guy wants you
to date his daughter.
35
00:01:41,682 --> 00:01:43,282
He sent a picture!
36
00:01:43,317 --> 00:01:45,050
Look at this.
37
00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:46,718
He says that she goes
to school here
38
00:01:46,752 --> 00:01:48,219
And you should
look her up.
39
00:01:48,253 --> 00:01:49,220
Here's her
phone number!
40
00:01:49,254 --> 00:01:50,421
Really?
41
00:01:50,456 --> 00:01:51,856
Do you really think
she looks like that?
42
00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,724
There's only one way
to find out, right?
43
00:01:53,759 --> 00:01:55,961
Man, you'd be crazy
to call that number.
44
00:01:55,995 --> 00:01:58,730
He'd be crazy
not to. Look at her.
45
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,501
Nice.
46
00:02:03,803 --> 00:02:05,970
That's how you tackle!
47
00:02:10,309 --> 00:02:11,642
Nice hit.
48
00:02:11,677 --> 00:02:14,044
- She's cute.
- Dude, look at her butt.
49
00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:20,250
Oh, hey!
50
00:02:20,284 --> 00:02:22,084
What he said.
Great hit.
51
00:02:22,119 --> 00:02:24,753
- And?
- And...
52
00:02:24,787 --> 00:02:27,488
You smell great.
53
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,557
You're not gonna
slap my ass?
54
00:02:29,591 --> 00:02:31,226
I wasn't planning
on it, no.
55
00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:32,861
Oh, he wasn't
planning on it.
56
00:02:32,895 --> 00:02:35,831
Well, so sorry
to spoil your plans.
57
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:37,800
Good hit.
58
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:41,770
Now you're just
rubbing it in, asshole.
59
00:02:48,612 --> 00:02:49,912
Hey, Michelle?
60
00:02:49,947 --> 00:02:52,481
Hi, Alex!
Nice to meet you.
61
00:02:52,515 --> 00:02:55,517
You too. So, you're
a fan of the team?
62
00:02:55,552 --> 00:02:57,319
Well, I was
born into it,
63
00:02:57,353 --> 00:02:59,154
Just like everybody else
who grew up around here.
64
00:02:59,188 --> 00:03:02,590
Very cool, very cool. Okay,
um, so what are we drinking?
65
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,759
Compliments of the man
at the end of the bar.
66
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,161
He says, "bottoms up
to the happy couple."
67
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:10,997
Hey. Thanks, man.
68
00:03:11,031 --> 00:03:13,733
- So you know that guy?
- It's my dad.
69
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,470
This is so
embarrassing.
70
00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:19,540
You invited your
dad to the bar.
71
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,741
I didn't...
72
00:03:20,775 --> 00:03:21,942
See, the thing is, Moran,
73
00:03:21,976 --> 00:03:23,811
it's not even about
slapping asses.
74
00:03:23,845 --> 00:03:25,713
It's about being
a good teammate.
75
00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:26,814
When I make
a great play,
76
00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:30,785
I expect to be
acknowledged.
77
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,220
Thad, I'm not gonna
slap you in the ass.
78
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,155
What did I ever
do to you?
79
00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:37,825
Well well well,
if it isn't Thad castle.
80
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:39,627
Great game satury.
81
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:46,167
I just hope old ben franklin ain't
walking in here with his kite tonight,
82
00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:50,804
'cause I'm sensing some pretty
strong electricity between you two.
83
00:03:53,508 --> 00:03:57,411
Ronnie hays. I'm
this pretty girl's daddy.
84
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,980
- Alex Moran.
- Daddy, you promised.
85
00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:01,982
Now, shut up,
sweetheart.
86
00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:06,021
Oh, I know all about you,
Alex... blue-chip all american,
87
00:04:06,055 --> 00:04:10,158
First 10,000-yard passer in
wyoming high school history.
88
00:04:10,193 --> 00:04:12,027
Why, I've been
following you
89
00:04:12,061 --> 00:04:16,398
Ever since bms started
scouting you four years ago.
90
00:04:16,432 --> 00:04:19,334
But what do you think
of the little girl here?
91
00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:21,503
- Cool, huh?
- Yeah!
92
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:22,604
Dad, enough.
93
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,540
She's great!
94
00:04:24,574 --> 00:04:26,041
Well, we're real
happy with her.
95
00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:27,943
She's smart too.
96
00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:30,880
Straight a's.
I keep telling her,
97
00:04:30,915 --> 00:04:33,850
"honey, with
a face like yours
98
00:04:33,884 --> 00:04:35,852
and a body like
your mama's,
99
00:04:35,886 --> 00:04:38,555
you don't need
to pick up a book".
100
00:04:38,589 --> 00:04:42,292
But she just keeps on
studying them books
101
00:04:42,327 --> 00:04:43,594
and reading away!
102
00:04:59,478 --> 00:05:01,412
We need to talk.
103
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,014
I have nothing
to say to you.
104
00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:05,551
How many times do I have to
apologize? I made a mistake.
105
00:05:05,585 --> 00:05:06,919
Denise, you
taped yourself
106
00:05:06,953 --> 00:05:09,588
Banging an nfl star
over my game film.
107
00:05:09,622 --> 00:05:11,123
It's not a mistake.
108
00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:13,758
You hold a grudge like
nobody I've ever met.
109
00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,428
Fine, Craig. You want
to play like this?
110
00:05:16,462 --> 00:05:18,130
We can play like this.
111
00:05:18,164 --> 00:05:20,933
But I am done
apologizing.
112
00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:22,634
Good.
113
00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:24,269
'cause I'm done
listening.
114
00:05:36,049 --> 00:05:37,250
Well, here we are.
115
00:05:37,284 --> 00:05:38,651
You're welcome
for the ride.
116
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,388
It was really unnecessary
for you to drive me home.
117
00:05:41,422 --> 00:05:43,791
Really, really unnecessary.
118
00:05:43,825 --> 00:05:45,092
My pleasure.
119
00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:48,096
Hey, wait a minute!
120
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,130
Aren't you gonna
go up with him?
121
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,366
Dad, I don't know.
122
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,902
Maybe another time.
123
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:57,605
Are you serious? He's
nice, he's handsome.
124
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,741
Christ, if I were
a girl your age,
125
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:01,275
I would have gotten
things rolling
126
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:05,547
On the ride home.
Now go! Go on!
127
00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:07,115
Have fun!
128
00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:15,390
Hey! Turn down the lights!
129
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:18,059
Put on some
soft music!
130
00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:20,862
I've got some
bachman-turner overdrive
131
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:23,365
Here in the car if you
want me to crank it up.
132
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:26,902
I'm sorry. We're
just really big fans.
133
00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:31,105
I'm gonna be
honest with you.
134
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,942
I really want to
have sex with you...
135
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,843
I really want to
have sex with you too!
136
00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:37,711
Well, good.
137
00:06:37,746 --> 00:06:39,981
But your dad is
creeping me out.
138
00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,950
We don't get out much.
139
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,352
Right.
140
00:06:44,386 --> 00:06:47,421
Alex! Michelle!
141
00:06:47,455 --> 00:06:50,525
You kids take
your time now.
142
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,561
Don't rush
on account of me.
143
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:53,562
You know Alex?
144
00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:54,663
Hell yeah,
I know him.
145
00:06:54,697 --> 00:06:55,664
He's dating
my daughter.
146
00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:57,767
Oh my God, wait!
147
00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:59,602
You're the guy who
sent the letter!
148
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,971
Real nice to meet you.
I'm Sammy, Alex's roommate.
149
00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,673
Yeah, great.
150
00:07:03,708 --> 00:07:06,176
I think it's sweet that you care
this much about your daughter.
151
00:07:06,211 --> 00:07:08,679
I'd give anything to
have a dad like that.
152
00:07:08,714 --> 00:07:10,081
My dad's a loser.
153
00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:14,251
Oh! Well,
that was quick.
154
00:07:14,285 --> 00:07:16,720
Short and sweet,
huh, baby?
155
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:20,390
And very thoughtful too. He
probably has practice in the morning.
156
00:07:20,424 --> 00:07:22,725
So I'll see you around?
157
00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:25,360
You can
count on it.
158
00:07:25,395 --> 00:07:28,797
16! Set! Set!
159
00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:36,572
Nice throw.
160
00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:39,441
What...?
161
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,511
Good pass, man.
162
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,580
Enough with the
ass-slapping, okay? Please!
163
00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:49,217
Nice toss, number 7!
That's my boy!
164
00:07:49,252 --> 00:07:50,452
He's dating my daughter.
165
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:52,121
Who is that?
166
00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:55,124
That's the guy who gave me
a picture of his daughter.
167
00:07:55,158 --> 00:07:56,992
You didn't go out
with her, did you?
168
00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:58,293
I might have...
169
00:07:58,328 --> 00:07:59,295
Coach!
170
00:07:59,329 --> 00:08:01,931
Hey, coach Daniels,
171
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:05,600
let's give Moran some playing
time next week. What do you say?
172
00:08:05,634 --> 00:08:06,601
Hey, Moran!
173
00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:08,569
Shut your fan club
up over there.
174
00:08:10,572 --> 00:08:12,306
- Hey, Alex!
- Hey, girls. Hi.
175
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,241
Get away from him,
you whores!
176
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:16,076
That boy is spoken for!
177
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:18,812
Oh my God, I've got to
do something about this.
178
00:08:23,455 --> 00:08:27,958
Look, this is really
hard for me to say.
179
00:08:27,993 --> 00:08:31,696
I think you're
beautiful and sweet,
180
00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:35,534
And under different
circumstances, who knows?
181
00:08:35,568 --> 00:08:38,603
But for obvious reasons,
182
00:08:38,638 --> 00:08:43,374
Right now I just don't think
this is gonna work out.
183
00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:47,745
It sucks, but
I understand.
184
00:08:51,784 --> 00:08:53,418
I gotta be honest.
185
00:08:53,452 --> 00:08:55,320
I didn't see this coming.
186
00:08:55,354 --> 00:08:57,421
Really, you didn't?
187
00:08:57,456 --> 00:08:59,790
Sweetheart, could you
give us a minute, please?
188
00:09:07,032 --> 00:09:09,767
Alex, don't get me wrong.
189
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:12,036
I love my daughter.
190
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:16,674
But I know she ain't
everybody's cup of tea.
191
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:21,347
Now, I have two other
single daughters
192
00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:23,449
Who might be
more your speed.
193
00:09:23,484 --> 00:09:24,951
How... how old is that one?
194
00:09:24,985 --> 00:09:28,355
Rebecca's 15,
195
00:09:28,389 --> 00:09:30,290
In December.
196
00:09:30,325 --> 00:09:33,661
Now, I know that, uh...
197
00:09:33,695 --> 00:09:36,932
Technically
that ain't legal.
198
00:09:36,966 --> 00:09:41,670
But, you won't tell,
I won't tell.
199
00:09:41,704 --> 00:09:44,172
Well, this is over.
200
00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,608
Do not come near me again.
201
00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:50,111
Okay. Well, you
just let me know.
202
00:09:50,145 --> 00:09:52,213
You got first dibs!
203
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:56,618
So leave a message at
the beep, or something.
204
00:09:57,152 --> 00:09:59,320
Hey, dad, it's Sammy!
205
00:09:59,354 --> 00:10:00,721
Yeah, your former son.
206
00:10:00,756 --> 00:10:02,690
Listen, I got all the stuff
you sent me from my room,
207
00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:05,292
Amd guess what?
I sold it all!
208
00:10:05,326 --> 00:10:06,860
Yeah, everything,
including the merkin.
209
00:10:06,894 --> 00:10:10,396
You know why? 'cause I have
tons of pubes now, dad, tons!
210
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:17,769
Hey there, fella!
211
00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:19,904
It's stony, isn't it?
212
00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:20,905
Sammy.
213
00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:22,941
Sammy! That's right.
214
00:10:22,975 --> 00:10:24,909
You're Alex Moran's roommate.
215
00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,144
It's good to
see you, son.
216
00:10:27,646 --> 00:10:29,180
Son.
217
00:10:30,782 --> 00:10:34,485
Say, I'm thinking of having a
cookout at my place this afternoon.
218
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,021
What say you stop by? You
could bring Alex with you.
219
00:10:37,056 --> 00:10:38,623
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
220
00:10:38,658 --> 00:10:40,392
I could do that?
You gonna be there?
221
00:10:40,426 --> 00:10:42,594
Son, it's my cookout.
I gotta be there.
222
00:10:42,628 --> 00:10:45,497
It's real important that
you bring Alex, okay?
223
00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:47,099
Yeah. Awesome!
224
00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:49,135
- I'll see you later tonight!
- Alrighty.
225
00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:51,871
Man, what a cool guy!
226
00:10:51,906 --> 00:10:55,409
Yeah. He waited outside for me
to have sex with his daughter.
227
00:10:55,443 --> 00:10:57,344
It's the creepiest thing
that I've ever been through.
228
00:10:57,379 --> 00:10:59,713
Ronnie's all right, man.
He's not creepy to me.
229
00:10:59,748 --> 00:11:02,449
Sammy, you need to stay away
from him, I'm telling you.
230
00:11:02,484 --> 00:11:05,719
He invited us to his house
for a cookout. You should come.
231
00:11:05,754 --> 00:11:09,690
No, because I'm gonna have a
date with a very beautiful woman
232
00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:12,659
- Whose father is not gonna tag along!
- I think it's your loss.
233
00:11:12,694 --> 00:11:13,660
Hey, we're
teammates, right?
234
00:11:13,694 --> 00:11:14,961
Unfortunately, yes.
235
00:11:14,996 --> 00:11:16,963
Then when are you gonna
start acting like it?
236
00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:18,197
I don't know what
to tell you.
237
00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:21,300
Tell me you'll
acknowledge my plays.
238
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:22,735
I'll give you a thumbs
up, how about that?
239
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,303
No, you're not hearing me.
240
00:11:24,337 --> 00:11:25,971
When somebody isn't
being a good teammate,
241
00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:28,907
It becomes my problem because
I'm the captain of this team.
242
00:11:28,941 --> 00:11:32,243
And right now you're not
being a good teammate.
243
00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:35,513
Fine. Next time you make a great
play, I will acknowledge it, okay?
244
00:11:35,547 --> 00:11:37,348
Thank you!
245
00:11:37,382 --> 00:11:40,218
God! Was that so hard?
246
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:45,456
- I swear to God.
- Oh, damn!
247
00:11:45,491 --> 00:11:50,162
Yeah. So, I'm gonna go to Ronnie's.
248
00:11:50,196 --> 00:11:51,830
Okay, but that's
a bad idea, Sammy.
249
00:11:51,865 --> 00:11:54,166
He invited me. I think
it'd be rude if I didn't go.
250
00:11:54,201 --> 00:11:56,102
Sammy. Sammy!
251
00:11:57,938 --> 00:12:00,440
- Yeah, 051.
- I'll text you tonight.
252
00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:03,709
Hey, Craig, didn't
think I'd see you here.
253
00:12:03,743 --> 00:12:06,345
This is my friend Ricky.
He's a basketball player.
254
00:12:06,379 --> 00:12:07,512
Maybe you've
heard of him.
255
00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:08,946
Nope, I haven't.
256
00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:11,849
Well, you will, because
he's the next big thing.
257
00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:17,087
You left your trophies
in the apartment.
258
00:12:17,122 --> 00:12:19,590
Do you want them or
should I melt them down?
259
00:12:19,624 --> 00:12:21,626
Melt 'em down.
260
00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:31,069
Oh, no, sweetheart,
not that outfit.
261
00:12:31,103 --> 00:12:32,937
I meant the other
one I got for you,
262
00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:34,672
The one that shows
some real skin.
263
00:12:34,706 --> 00:12:36,407
Dad, I'm not
changing again.
264
00:12:38,444 --> 00:12:39,944
This is it.
265
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:44,615
Just remember, that's your
future husband out there.
266
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:46,550
Let's leave everything on the field.
267
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:47,751
Okay.
268
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,555
Ronnie! What's up, buddy?
269
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:52,656
Where's Alex?
270
00:12:52,691 --> 00:12:54,091
He had a date,
271
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:55,993
So he's probably busy
getting laid tonight.
272
00:12:56,027 --> 00:12:58,695
But I brought you some
beers. You drink beers?
273
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,363
Of course you do!
What am I...
274
00:13:00,398 --> 00:13:02,298
- Alex isn't coming?
- No.
275
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:04,801
I got four racks
of ribs on the grill
276
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:06,736
And a party ball.
That's his favorite meal!
277
00:13:06,771 --> 00:13:09,273
It is, and he's gonna be
pissed he's missing it.
278
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:13,143
But his loss is our gain.
Right, Ronnie?
279
00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:15,446
Look at this house, man!
Wow, there's pictures
280
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,047
Hanging up on the
walls and everything!
281
00:13:19,317 --> 00:13:22,319
I tell you what... I
could get used to this.
282
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:25,689
I'll tell you
what... don't.
283
00:13:26,958 --> 00:13:29,293
And wipe your
goddamn face.
284
00:13:30,495 --> 00:13:32,796
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
285
00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:38,802
I cannot believe I got
stood up at my own cookout.
286
00:13:38,836 --> 00:13:41,104
This is bullshit!
287
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:46,176
You want to split the ribs? All right.
288
00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,847
Did you hear
something?
289
00:13:53,951 --> 00:13:55,452
What the hell?
290
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:57,954
Come on!
291
00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:21,478
I've got your condom.
292
00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:22,980
Ronnie?
293
00:14:23,014 --> 00:14:25,382
You've been messing
with the wrong family,
294
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,651
you little shit.
295
00:14:27,686 --> 00:14:31,155
Date my daughter and we can
forget any of this happened.
296
00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:32,990
Don't date her,
297
00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:36,594
and who knows what I
might do with this Semen.
298
00:14:41,057 --> 00:14:43,291
And then he called
me on my phone
299
00:14:43,326 --> 00:14:44,659
and said,
"I have your condom".
300
00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:47,763
I told you, man!
301
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,598
- Nobody's fault but your own.
- What?
302
00:14:49,632 --> 00:14:51,533
You fell for the oldest
trick in the book.
303
00:14:51,568 --> 00:14:53,302
I get five of those
letters a year.
304
00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,804
My freshman year,some dude
lured me in real good.
305
00:14:55,839 --> 00:14:57,340
- And then you know what happened?
- What?
306
00:14:57,374 --> 00:15:00,076
A teammate of mine
got me out of the jam.
307
00:15:00,111 --> 00:15:02,279
I'm not gonna mention
any names... Larry...
308
00:15:02,313 --> 00:15:04,982
But the point is, when
a teammate's in trouble,
309
00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:07,017
They help each other out.
310
00:15:09,054 --> 00:15:11,388
They help
each other out!
311
00:15:11,423 --> 00:15:14,391
I don't understand. What the hell
would he want a used condom for?
312
00:15:14,426 --> 00:15:16,794
He wants me
to be his son.
313
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:19,230
If he uses my semen to get Michelle
pregnant, then I'll be trapped.
314
00:15:19,265 --> 00:15:20,465
He thinks he'll
be my dad.
315
00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,367
Get out of here.
316
00:15:25,204 --> 00:15:26,672
I'll catch up with
you guys later.
317
00:15:26,706 --> 00:15:28,540
Wait. Sammy, where are you going?
318
00:15:28,575 --> 00:15:30,676
You'll know in
nine months!
319
00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:33,746
So what are you
gonna do, man?
320
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:35,214
I gotta get back
what's mine.
321
00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:39,887
I think I might
do that too.
322
00:15:42,056 --> 00:15:43,591
What do you want?
323
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:45,459
I came to pick up
my trophies.
324
00:15:49,664 --> 00:15:53,100
- Are you alone?
- Yes, I'm alone.
325
00:15:53,134 --> 00:15:55,669
That Ricky dude's
not here?
326
00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:57,470
No. Just me.
327
00:16:07,848 --> 00:16:09,282
Oh, Craig!
328
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:33,542
What are you trying
to do, asswipe,
329
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,743
get us both caught?
330
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:35,744
What the hell
are you doing here?
331
00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,646
I'm leading
by example.
332
00:16:37,681 --> 00:16:40,583
I'm here to show you what it
really means to be a teammate.
333
00:16:40,617 --> 00:16:43,886
I'm here to get your condom. Follow me.
334
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,287
Shit!
335
00:17:06,477 --> 00:17:08,545
Interesting.
336
00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:13,984
If I was gonna store
a condom full of jizz,
337
00:17:14,019 --> 00:17:16,888
where would I keep it?
338
00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,135
Nope.
339
00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:34,072
Why don't we try
the freezer first?
340
00:17:34,107 --> 00:17:36,141
Bingo!
341
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,647
- Is this it?
- I would assume so.
342
00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:46,518
It's the only used condom sitting
in the back of his basement freezer.
343
00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:50,255
It's just that I was expecting
an extra-extra small one.
344
00:17:50,289 --> 00:17:51,756
Get it?
345
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:53,191
Because your
penis is too small...
346
00:17:53,225 --> 00:17:55,360
- Oh, shit.
- Did you turn out the lights?
347
00:17:55,895 --> 00:17:57,797
Tell me my muscles are big!
348
00:17:57,831 --> 00:17:59,498
They're big.
349
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:03,103
Tell me, I said. Mmm,
mmm, I said tell me, you b!
350
00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:04,571
You have good
muscles, babe!
351
00:18:04,606 --> 00:18:05,772
Yeah, and I touch 'em!
352
00:18:05,807 --> 00:18:08,642
Oh, baby. Yeah, okay.
353
00:18:08,676 --> 00:18:11,511
Oh! Don't move!
Come on!
354
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,784
- Is she okay?
- I don't know.
355
00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:25,926
He knows we're
down here. Whisper!
356
00:18:25,961 --> 00:18:28,296
Shut up! Whisper!
Somebody's here.
357
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,000
Shut up!
358
00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:34,903
Quiet. Shut up!
359
00:18:34,937 --> 00:18:37,539
Put down the
rubber, son.
360
00:18:40,043 --> 00:18:41,410
Ronnie?
361
00:18:41,444 --> 00:18:44,580
Ronnie, come on, man.
Let's not do anything crazy.
362
00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:46,314
Okay? Please?
363
00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:48,149
Shut your mouth.
364
00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:52,887
I always wanted a son, Alex,
365
00:18:52,921 --> 00:18:57,557
someone I could watch
and play football with.
366
00:18:57,591 --> 00:19:00,393
I had five children,
367
00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:02,228
All of them girls!
368
00:19:02,262 --> 00:19:06,765
It ain't fair, Alex!
369
00:19:06,799 --> 00:19:09,034
I wanted a son!
370
00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:12,504
I deserve a son!
371
00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:14,039
Give me that condom!
372
00:19:22,648 --> 00:19:24,516
What happened?
373
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:29,154
You came home, baby.
374
00:19:29,188 --> 00:19:32,257
You're back
where you belong.
375
00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:45,738
Thad, quick, give me the
condom. Where's the condom?
376
00:19:45,773 --> 00:19:49,976
My eyes!
You assholes!
377
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,813
I just wanted a son!
378
00:19:52,847 --> 00:19:54,281
He was gonna get it.
379
00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:56,317
Thanks.
380
00:19:56,351 --> 00:19:58,052
Acknowledge it.
381
00:19:58,087 --> 00:20:02,324
It ain't fair! Girls
can't throw footballs
382
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:05,797
or appreciate
the three stooges!
383
00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:14,284
Craig, is everything
okay in there?
384
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,561
Craig.
385
00:20:29,768 --> 00:20:32,469
I just wanted a son!
386
00:20:32,504 --> 00:20:34,705
Well, you got one!
387
00:20:34,739 --> 00:20:37,174
And hopefully
a grandson to boot!
388
00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:39,377
I just banged your
daughter, Ronnie.
389
00:20:39,411 --> 00:20:42,814
And God willing, we're
gonna be a family soon!
390
00:20:43,349 --> 00:20:45,083
Come here, dad!
391
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,651
Come here!
392
00:20:46,686 --> 00:20:47,820
So happy!
393
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
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