1 00:01:41,372 --> 00:01:46,372 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 2 00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:49,723 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 3 00:01:49,725 --> 00:01:52,191 Today, as promised, I'm gonna share 4 00:01:52,193 --> 00:01:55,461 my zucchini chocolate chip cookie recipe. 5 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,363 But first, many of you have asked me 6 00:01:57,365 --> 00:01:59,732 for an update on the Emily situation. 7 00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,369 And for those of you who are new to my vlog, 8 00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:06,139 you should know my best friend, Emily, is missing right now. 9 00:02:06,141 --> 00:02:08,308 She asked me a simple favor, 10 00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:10,611 to pick up her son, Nicky, from school, 11 00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:13,413 which was five days ago. 12 00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:15,251 And she hasn't come back yet, so... 13 00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:24,190 I'm sorry, we're all really worried, 14 00:02:24,192 --> 00:02:29,329 and I'm doing everything I can to help the police track her down. 15 00:02:29,331 --> 00:02:32,432 But I'm realizing I don't know her as well as I thought I did. 16 00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,234 It's like my mom used to say, 17 00:02:34,236 --> 00:02:35,903 God rest her soul. Um... 18 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,938 Secrets are like margarine, 19 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,641 easy to spread, bad for the heart. 20 00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:42,409 But as different as we are, 21 00:02:42,411 --> 00:02:44,444 I do consider Emily my best friend. 22 00:02:44,446 --> 00:02:47,480 She is this wonderful, elegant person. 23 00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:49,950 And our sons brought us together, actually. 24 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,285 Well, for our new friends, 25 00:02:52,287 --> 00:02:53,886 I'll just start from the beginning. 26 00:02:53,888 --> 00:02:56,689 I met Emily a few weeks ago 27 00:02:56,691 --> 00:02:57,690 at school. 28 00:02:57,692 --> 00:02:59,593 It was International Cuisine Day 29 00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:01,427 in my son's first grade class. 30 00:03:01,429 --> 00:03:03,330 And once again, I drew Sweden, 31 00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:05,731 which meant my famous meatless meatballs. 32 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,333 You're all dead! 33 00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:09,268 I killed everyone! 34 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,438 Not me. I came back to life. 35 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,339 I want to thank everyone, 36 00:03:13,341 --> 00:03:16,944 who participated in today's feast. Yay! 37 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,678 Class, haven't we learned so much 38 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,446 about food from all around the world? 39 00:03:20,448 --> 00:03:21,682 Yes! 40 00:03:21,684 --> 00:03:23,749 Give your parents a big round of applause. 41 00:03:23,751 --> 00:03:25,385 That looks great! 42 00:03:25,387 --> 00:03:26,820 - Big smile! - Oh, my gosh. 43 00:03:26,822 --> 00:03:28,855 Where does she get all that energy from? 44 00:03:28,857 --> 00:03:29,855 What are you looking at? 45 00:03:29,857 --> 00:03:31,925 I think there's crystal meth in those meatballs. 46 00:03:31,927 --> 00:03:34,260 Oh, parents, there's a sign-up sheet on the board 47 00:03:34,262 --> 00:03:36,663 for our Fun Fair next week. 48 00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:38,865 Uh, please, Stephanie, don't sign up 49 00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:40,566 for more than one job. 50 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:43,536 I'm not sure everyone else has had a chance to volunteer. 51 00:03:46,407 --> 00:03:48,441 Miles, sweetie, sweetie, maybe just be careful 52 00:03:48,443 --> 00:03:50,476 with your fingers with Nicky's truck, okay? 53 00:03:50,478 --> 00:03:52,246 Has Nicky's mom volunteered? 54 00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:53,847 Emily? Please. She wouldn't know 55 00:03:53,849 --> 00:03:55,415 a sign-up sheet if it bit her on the ass. 56 00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:58,252 God, it'd be my dream to run PR for Dennis Nylon. 57 00:03:58,254 --> 00:03:59,952 Can you imagine all the free shit she must get? 58 00:03:59,954 --> 00:04:00,820 - I know. - Okay, 59 00:04:00,822 --> 00:04:02,488 I'm crossing myself off decorations. 60 00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:03,956 I can leave that open for Emily. 61 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:04,992 And then if she can't make it, 62 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,860 I can still bring my balloons and helium tank. 63 00:04:06,862 --> 00:04:08,327 Please tell me you don't actually 64 00:04:08,329 --> 00:04:10,296 own a helium tank, Stephanie. 65 00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:12,665 I think lots of people own helium tanks, Stacy. 66 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,333 Because kids love balloons. 67 00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:15,736 Do you not have one? 68 00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:18,604 You a bad parent? I'm kidding. 69 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,039 We're terrible parents. 70 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:22,842 I think it's a perfect plan, Stephanie. 71 00:04:22,844 --> 00:04:25,611 Good thinking, Stephanie. 72 00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:28,914 Hey, Smooch! 73 00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:31,484 Oh, great work today, Smooch. 74 00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:32,551 Smooch! 75 00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:34,320 - Thanks a lot, Mom. - Oh. 76 00:04:34,322 --> 00:04:36,356 Can me and Miles have a play date today? 77 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:38,325 Um, I don't know, sweetie. 78 00:04:38,327 --> 00:04:39,592 I think we need to ask your mommy, 79 00:04:39,594 --> 00:04:41,460 and she's still in the city. 80 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:42,695 She's right there. 81 00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:08,621 Come here, little dude. 82 00:05:08,623 --> 00:05:10,856 Oh, my baby! 83 00:05:10,858 --> 00:05:13,794 Look at your shirt. Did any food make it into your mouth? 84 00:05:13,796 --> 00:05:15,762 Ask her, Nicky, ask her! 85 00:05:15,764 --> 00:05:16,863 Ask me what? 86 00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:17,830 We want a play date. 87 00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:20,099 Oh, we can't. Mommy already has a play date 88 00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:22,635 with a symphony of anti-depressants. Let's go. 89 00:05:22,637 --> 00:05:24,738 Play date! Play date! Play date! 90 00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,907 Baby, please don't do this. I gotta go. 91 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,342 Come on. I got a ton of work to do. 92 00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,810 You don't let me have any fun. 93 00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:32,678 That's not true. I let you tear my labia 94 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,651 as you exited my body, so you're welcome. 95 00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:39,486 Do you drink? 96 00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:42,621 - I need a martini. - Oh! Uh... 97 00:05:42,623 --> 00:05:45,726 Yeah. I like martinis. I haven't had one in a long time. 98 00:05:45,728 --> 00:05:48,527 They're good, though. Had one that was mostly chocolate. 99 00:05:48,529 --> 00:05:50,731 And I was like, "Alcohol and chocolate!" 100 00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:51,798 Mom life. 101 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,935 Oh, okay. No play date. Come on, kid, let's go. 102 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,635 Then I'm staying here. 103 00:05:56,637 --> 00:05:59,005 Christ, he's fucking stubborn. 104 00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:01,375 It doesn't have to have the chocolate in it. 105 00:06:01,377 --> 00:06:05,111 Okay, I don't think I'm gonna win this, so, um... 106 00:06:05,113 --> 00:06:08,582 I mean, do you wanna come over for a beverage of any kind? 107 00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:10,082 I think I could use some backup. 108 00:06:10,084 --> 00:06:11,717 That's me? I'm backup? 109 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,387 Does your kid drink, maybe? 110 00:06:13,389 --> 00:06:15,421 I mean, it's never too early to start teaching them. 111 00:06:15,423 --> 00:06:17,556 I think you're joking, but great. 112 00:06:17,558 --> 00:06:19,024 - Sweetie... - Hey, you, let's go. 113 00:06:19,026 --> 00:06:19,960 Let's get your umbrella out, okay? 114 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,029 Because we're gonna go out in the rain. 115 00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:25,464 What on Earth are those two gonna talk about? 116 00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:28,835 Emily's gonna eat poor Stephanie alive. 117 00:06:28,837 --> 00:06:30,871 At least she'd be eating something. 118 00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:33,608 What is your problem? 119 00:06:41,616 --> 00:06:43,784 Go show him your room. Go. 120 00:06:43,786 --> 00:06:45,452 Oh, please don't run! 121 00:06:45,454 --> 00:06:47,423 Be safe please! 122 00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:50,991 Cute socks. 123 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,758 Oh, thanks! 124 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,661 They're from Target. It's 10 bucks a pack. 125 00:06:54,663 --> 00:06:56,128 - So great, Target. - Yeah. 126 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,229 They have other animals. 127 00:06:57,231 --> 00:07:00,135 They have these squirrel ones are cute, chipmunks, 128 00:07:01,036 --> 00:07:02,071 beavers... 129 00:07:02,738 --> 00:07:05,906 That's so lifelike. 130 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,106 Yeah. 131 00:07:07,108 --> 00:07:08,674 Do you like it? 132 00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:10,912 How could you not? It's, um... 133 00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:12,846 Right? 134 00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:15,080 I used to dye my hair. I get bored easily. 135 00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:16,817 Yeah. 136 00:07:16,819 --> 00:07:18,652 Did you paint that? 137 00:07:18,654 --> 00:07:21,587 No. No, no. It's made by an almost famous painter 138 00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:22,589 from the East Village. 139 00:07:22,591 --> 00:07:24,758 My life is littered with almost-somebodies. 140 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,659 I did some art modeling in school 141 00:07:26,661 --> 00:07:28,227 to pay my way through. 142 00:07:28,229 --> 00:07:30,630 Then the pervert got obsessed with me. 143 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:32,032 Oh, well, that happens, yeah. 144 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,467 So I stole the painting, you know, 145 00:07:33,469 --> 00:07:34,868 thinking it'd be worth something someday. 146 00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:37,673 But, no. No such luck. 147 00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:41,707 This house is incredible. 148 00:07:41,709 --> 00:07:43,075 Thanks. It's a fucking money pit. 149 00:07:43,077 --> 00:07:46,046 - Oopsy. - Hmm? 150 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:49,883 Oh, sorry. It's, um, what we say at my house when someone swears. 151 00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:51,116 It's a force of habit. 152 00:07:51,118 --> 00:07:54,154 We have an oopsy jar in the pantry. 153 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,488 It's like, you know. 154 00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:58,123 Put a quarter in for every bad word. 155 00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,960 You should smash the oopsy jar. 156 00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:01,060 That might change your life. 157 00:08:01,062 --> 00:08:02,962 Yeah. Ugh. Sorry. 158 00:08:02,964 --> 00:08:04,130 Don't say sorry. 159 00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:06,132 You don't need to do that. You don't need to apologize. 160 00:08:06,134 --> 00:08:07,666 It's a fucked-up female habit. 161 00:08:07,668 --> 00:08:09,669 You don't need to be sorry for anything, ever. 162 00:08:09,671 --> 00:08:11,837 That's true. That's great advice. 163 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,108 Thank you. 164 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,142 I love this music, by the way. 165 00:08:16,144 --> 00:08:17,710 Thanks. Yeah. 166 00:08:17,712 --> 00:08:19,813 Makes me forget I'm stuck in this shithole. 167 00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:21,214 I'm gonna go get booze. 168 00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:22,552 Great! 169 00:08:49,243 --> 00:08:51,848 I was really caught up in the ambiance. 170 00:08:53,982 --> 00:08:55,818 Come on, give me a little more. 171 00:08:56,752 --> 00:08:59,084 Oh! 172 00:08:59,086 --> 00:09:01,321 I liked it. I may join you later. 173 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:04,090 Oh! You must love cooking in this kitchen! 174 00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:07,059 No, not really. Sean does. 175 00:09:07,061 --> 00:09:10,063 I think it's probably just an excuse to avoid writing. 176 00:09:10,065 --> 00:09:11,664 Your husband's a writer? 177 00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:13,699 No. He wrote a book 10 years ago. 178 00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,034 It made him the toast of the town. 179 00:09:15,036 --> 00:09:16,236 I actually had to stalk him 180 00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:17,404 to make him fall in love with me. 181 00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:20,840 But then, nothing. He never wrote anything ever again. 182 00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,342 - It's the old bait-and-switch. - What was the book? 183 00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:25,645 It's called Darkness at Dawn. 184 00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:28,014 Oh, my gosh! I read that in my book club! 185 00:09:28,016 --> 00:09:29,316 - Really? - This was... Yeah. 186 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,183 Well, this was back when I first became a single mom, 187 00:09:31,185 --> 00:09:33,653 and I joined this book club, and that was the first book we read. 188 00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,588 It's so impressive. 189 00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:36,625 So you're divorced, then? 190 00:09:37,858 --> 00:09:38,894 Widowed. 191 00:09:41,597 --> 00:09:43,099 Do you mind if I ask how he died? 192 00:09:52,239 --> 00:09:54,374 Car accident. 193 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:57,242 - Oh. How awful. - Yeah. 194 00:09:57,244 --> 00:09:59,846 My brother, Chris, was in the passenger seat, so... 195 00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:01,680 You're kidding. 196 00:10:01,682 --> 00:10:02,915 One fell swoop, and the two 197 00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:04,985 most important men in my life were gone. 198 00:10:04,987 --> 00:10:06,986 Normally, sad stories don't get to me. 199 00:10:06,988 --> 00:10:08,121 But that one... 200 00:10:08,123 --> 00:10:09,655 That one did. That was brutal. 201 00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,357 I don't talk about it a lot. 202 00:10:11,359 --> 00:10:12,692 Especially with people I just met. 203 00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:15,061 I'm really sorry. Oh! Mmm... 204 00:10:15,063 --> 00:10:16,328 Baby, if you apologize again, 205 00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,963 I'm gonna have to slap the sorry out of you. 206 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,899 Yeah. That's... I'm not sorry. 207 00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:21,668 That's a hard habit to break, though. 208 00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:23,102 It is. 209 00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:25,071 So, are you dating anyone? 210 00:10:25,073 --> 00:10:27,374 No. Slim pickings in Warfield. 211 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,644 Well, you are an hour and a half outside the city. 212 00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:33,913 I'm not gonna date someone from the city. 213 00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:35,814 I tried eHarmony for a while, 214 00:10:35,816 --> 00:10:37,082 and then that mother of three wound up 215 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:38,284 with her head in the trash can, 216 00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:40,086 you remember that? And I... Ugh. 217 00:10:40,088 --> 00:10:42,054 I said, "No thank you. Delete." 218 00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:43,756 What? 219 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:44,890 Come on, baby, 220 00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:47,861 you're too sexy to give up. 221 00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:49,962 That's nice. I don't know. Um... 222 00:10:49,964 --> 00:10:51,898 If your head's gonna end up in a trash can, 223 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,766 your head's gonna end up in a trash can. 224 00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:56,336 I just didn't think I would end up a single mom, 225 00:10:56,338 --> 00:10:58,103 struggling to make ends meet. 226 00:10:58,105 --> 00:10:59,838 I mean, my husband had life insurance, 227 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,374 thank goodness, but not a lot. 228 00:11:01,376 --> 00:11:03,009 I put half of that away for Miles' college, 229 00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:05,978 and so, with that coming in, 230 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:08,747 the money still runs out in 2020. 231 00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,250 Thank God for his life insurance. 232 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,317 Yeah. 233 00:11:11,319 --> 00:11:12,351 My husband doesn't have anything 234 00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:14,453 if it makes you feel better. But he does spend like 235 00:11:14,455 --> 00:11:16,155 he's the man of the hour. 236 00:11:16,157 --> 00:11:18,058 Fucking have to pay for everything. 237 00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:19,992 We can't even sell this house. 238 00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:21,694 We bought it during the bubble. 239 00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,362 I love your house. 240 00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:25,365 Don't dream of selling it. 241 00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:29,639 If I were you, I'd just bask in this kitchen all day long! 242 00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:33,807 Then you should move in. 243 00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,475 Here. Cheers to being house poor. 244 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,079 Yes, cheers! 245 00:11:40,114 --> 00:11:41,116 Mmm. What? 246 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,283 That's, uh... 247 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,018 It's just another one of my bad decisions. 248 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:47,153 Yeah. It's great. 249 00:11:47,155 --> 00:11:48,388 Is that a charity symbol? 250 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:51,725 Yeah, Mother Teresa and I are, like, the same person, so... 251 00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:54,059 It's a nice contrast with your ring. 252 00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,395 Thanks. Yeah, this is a family heirloom. 253 00:11:56,397 --> 00:11:57,996 It belonged to Sean's great-grandmom, 254 00:11:57,998 --> 00:11:58,997 and then his mom, 255 00:11:58,999 --> 00:12:00,967 and she insisted that I have it, so, you know? 256 00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:02,736 Whose Subaru is blocking the garage? 257 00:12:02,738 --> 00:12:05,739 - Speak of the devil. - Oh, that's mine. I'm sorry... 258 00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:07,774 - You're what? - Mmm... 259 00:12:07,776 --> 00:12:09,476 Your wife is trying to get me to stop apologizing. 260 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:12,946 Or maybe you can get her to start. 261 00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:15,115 - Oh! Hi. - Hi. 262 00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:16,348 - Hi. - Hi. 263 00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:18,217 Oh, martini time? 264 00:12:18,219 --> 00:12:20,053 I'm sure it's 5:00 somewhere. 265 00:12:20,055 --> 00:12:21,187 Oh, my God, did you just come up 266 00:12:21,189 --> 00:12:22,355 with that cliche by yourself? 267 00:12:22,357 --> 00:12:23,856 He's such a brilliant writer. 268 00:12:23,858 --> 00:12:26,092 I have to say, you inspire me. 269 00:12:26,094 --> 00:12:27,526 Not enough, apparently. 270 00:12:27,528 --> 00:12:28,995 "Why, thank you very much 271 00:12:28,997 --> 00:12:30,496 "for going to the grocery store," he said, 272 00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:33,232 dripping with sarcasm. 273 00:12:33,234 --> 00:12:34,933 Oh, I figured you'd want a break 274 00:12:34,935 --> 00:12:37,537 from not writing ever. 275 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:41,140 With that fatal blow, she won the joust. 276 00:12:41,142 --> 00:12:42,976 - Well played. - Hmm. Thank you. 277 00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:44,544 - This is Stephanie. - Hi, Stephanie. 278 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,312 Her kid goes to Warfield with our kid. 279 00:12:46,314 --> 00:12:47,750 She read your book. 280 00:12:48,883 --> 00:12:50,382 I did. I loved it! 281 00:12:50,384 --> 00:12:52,018 It reminded me of William Thackeray. 282 00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,218 She really read it. 283 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,953 Wow, not many people 284 00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:56,322 trot out Thackeray as a reference. 285 00:12:56,324 --> 00:12:58,457 Oh, I was an English major at Barnard. 286 00:12:58,459 --> 00:12:59,858 It was pre-mommy brain. 287 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,427 I did my thesis on the Canterbury Tales. 288 00:13:01,429 --> 00:13:03,462 "And with that word Arcite gan espye, 289 00:13:03,464 --> 00:13:05,798 "whereas this lady roamed to and fro." 290 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,003 "And with that sight, her beauty hurt him so." 291 00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:12,071 I'm sorry, do you guys wanna get a room? 292 00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:13,809 Am I breaking this up? 293 00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:15,108 I like that. 294 00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,443 Hey, do you want me to make you a drink? 295 00:13:17,445 --> 00:13:19,111 No. I'm good. You guys enjoy. 296 00:13:19,113 --> 00:13:20,413 I'm gonna head upstairs for a shower. 297 00:13:20,415 --> 00:13:22,414 Okay. 298 00:13:22,416 --> 00:13:24,483 Nice to meet you, Sharon. 299 00:13:24,485 --> 00:13:27,319 Yeah. It's lovely to meet you. 300 00:13:27,321 --> 00:13:29,121 He's terrible with names. 301 00:13:29,123 --> 00:13:31,491 Oh, yeah. I mean, Stephanie's crazy. 302 00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:34,526 Like P-H-what? 303 00:13:34,528 --> 00:13:36,862 You guys are such a cute couple. 304 00:13:36,864 --> 00:13:38,597 Yeah, we're on the verge of bankruptcy, 305 00:13:38,599 --> 00:13:40,933 and we can't find a decent nanny 306 00:13:40,935 --> 00:13:42,271 in all of Connecticut, so... 307 00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:44,837 Drowning. 308 00:13:44,839 --> 00:13:46,505 If you ever need me to pick up Nicky 309 00:13:46,507 --> 00:13:48,106 after school and take him to my house, 310 00:13:48,108 --> 00:13:50,378 even if you just need the night off... 311 00:13:51,179 --> 00:13:52,444 You'd do that for me? 312 00:13:52,446 --> 00:13:54,015 Yeah. Anything. 313 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,591 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 314 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:07,363 If it's your first visit to the vlog, a hearty welcome. 315 00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:10,329 Today's theme is friendship. 316 00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,467 So today, I thought we would make 317 00:14:14,169 --> 00:14:16,101 friendship bracelets! 318 00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:17,636 I have never understood 319 00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:19,872 these silly, hurtful divisions 320 00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:22,107 between working moms and stay-at-home moms. 321 00:14:22,109 --> 00:14:23,543 Honestly, I have found it difficult 322 00:14:23,545 --> 00:14:25,377 to make friends with either. 323 00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:28,014 Emily! Hi, what's up, lady? 324 00:14:28,016 --> 00:14:29,448 Hey, I was wondering if I could 325 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,183 take you up on your offer to pick up Nicky. 326 00:14:31,185 --> 00:14:33,186 I'm in a meeting with no end in sight. 327 00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:34,987 Uh, yeah, I'm happy to help. 328 00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:37,923 Actually, I just got this jumbo set of Perler beads... 329 00:14:37,925 --> 00:14:39,391 Yeah, yeah, okay. You're the best. 330 00:14:39,393 --> 00:14:42,327 Okay. Um, just... Does Nicky have any dietary restrictions? 331 00:14:42,329 --> 00:14:45,497 Yeah, just don't feed him shit he doesn't like. Thanks. 332 00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:48,067 Don't feed... Okay. 333 00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:49,972 Oh, my God, she's so funny. 334 00:14:51,039 --> 00:14:53,472 Whoo! 335 00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:56,275 No, no, no, Dennis, this is what's gonna happen. 336 00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:57,644 I'm gonna do my job, 337 00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,077 you're gonna take some pills, 338 00:14:59,079 --> 00:15:01,213 and then I'm gonna call you later. Okay? 339 00:15:01,215 --> 00:15:02,917 What? Oh, oh, I can't hear you. 340 00:15:03,949 --> 00:15:04,317 I'm in an elevator. 341 00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:06,218 I am hungry for flesh! 342 00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:14,559 Just Darth Mommy, it's this game... 343 00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:15,962 It's really silly. 344 00:15:15,964 --> 00:15:17,263 Honestly, his dad was much better 345 00:15:17,265 --> 00:15:18,463 at the roughhousing stuff. 346 00:15:18,465 --> 00:15:20,232 - Don't do that. - Do what? 347 00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:21,668 Don't denigrate your good parenting 348 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,535 to comfort me for my shitty parenting. 349 00:15:23,537 --> 00:15:25,304 Oh, gosh, no, Emily, that's... 350 00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:26,505 That's not what I was doing at all. 351 00:15:26,507 --> 00:15:28,006 I think you're a super mom. 352 00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,241 Oh, no, you don't. 353 00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:30,309 Come on, your kid had 354 00:15:30,311 --> 00:15:31,611 lobster bisque for lunch the other day. 355 00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:33,413 I'm lucky if I remember my kid's lunch box. 356 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:34,614 Honestly, it's fine. 357 00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:37,019 The nicest thing I could do for Nicky is blow my brains out. 358 00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:42,355 I'm kidding. 359 00:15:42,357 --> 00:15:44,323 Right. Yeah. Well... 360 00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:47,961 You do work in the city, so... 361 00:15:47,963 --> 00:15:50,132 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, my gosh! 362 00:15:55,637 --> 00:15:57,437 Did you just take my picture? 363 00:15:57,439 --> 00:15:59,005 I'm yearbook mom. 364 00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,740 Did I ask you to take my picture? 365 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:01,908 Erase it. 366 00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:04,376 You look really chic, it's just for "Faces and Places." 367 00:16:04,378 --> 00:16:05,712 Just for the other parents. 368 00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,547 Erase it or I'll slap a fucking injunction 369 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,148 on your yearbook, do you understand? 370 00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:10,683 Yeah. Okay. 371 00:16:10,685 --> 00:16:12,485 Yeah, it's gone. 372 00:16:12,487 --> 00:16:14,087 Whoa. Bye-bye. 373 00:16:14,089 --> 00:16:15,587 Don't do that again. 374 00:16:15,589 --> 00:16:17,390 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 375 00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:20,492 Or, I didn't mean to offend you. 376 00:16:20,494 --> 00:16:22,227 Um... I'm sure that stuff's 377 00:16:22,229 --> 00:16:23,596 really sensitive in your industry. 378 00:16:23,598 --> 00:16:25,231 Oh, no. It's all good. 379 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:26,366 I guess I'm probably not the kind of person 380 00:16:26,368 --> 00:16:27,467 you're normally friends with. 381 00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:30,436 Oh, you do not wanna be friends with me. Trust me. 382 00:16:30,438 --> 00:16:31,670 Dennis, sweetie, 383 00:16:31,672 --> 00:16:33,338 let's try this again. Um... 384 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,741 Okay, I want you to go home 385 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,141 and chill the fuck out 386 00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:37,613 and don't ever call me again. Bye. 387 00:16:39,347 --> 00:16:40,679 That's how you talk to your boss? 388 00:16:40,681 --> 00:16:42,648 Yeah. You know, you gotta go right at 'em. 389 00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:44,049 Especially the powerful ones. 390 00:16:44,051 --> 00:16:45,521 Or they will fuck you in the face. 391 00:16:46,253 --> 00:16:48,553 Yeah, I get that. 392 00:16:48,555 --> 00:16:50,088 Wanna get out of here? 393 00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:51,457 Mommy needs a drink. 394 00:16:51,459 --> 00:16:53,259 Yeah. 395 00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:54,427 Totally. 396 00:16:54,429 --> 00:16:55,698 Nicky! 397 00:16:56,664 --> 00:16:58,597 Okay, guys... 398 00:16:58,599 --> 00:17:00,732 I guess we're going. 399 00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,436 Hey! Nicky, come! Now! 400 00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:05,737 Okay. I have a gift for you. Please close your eyes. 401 00:17:05,739 --> 00:17:07,105 - Mmm-mmm. - Yeah. Hold out 402 00:17:07,107 --> 00:17:08,174 your tattoo hand, please. 403 00:17:08,176 --> 00:17:09,675 This is happening. I'll wait all day. 404 00:17:09,677 --> 00:17:11,213 - Are you propositioning me? - Yes. 405 00:17:12,479 --> 00:17:14,083 Here. I made that for you. 406 00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:16,815 You made this for me? 407 00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:19,317 Thought it would go with that pinstriped suit you have. 408 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:20,786 Really? That's nice. 409 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,721 No one does stuff like this for me. 410 00:17:22,723 --> 00:17:26,292 I used to watch those Bewitched reruns on TV Land, 411 00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:27,826 and I always thought it was so classy 412 00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:29,227 when Darrin would come from work 413 00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:31,130 and Samantha would fix him a martini. 414 00:17:31,132 --> 00:17:33,698 Every time we do this, I feel so high-tone. 415 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:37,437 My God, you're such a nerd. 416 00:17:37,439 --> 00:17:39,705 Ugh. Fuck this. I need a real martini. 417 00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:41,340 - This one's not real? - Nope. 418 00:17:41,342 --> 00:17:43,242 Sean and I had the real thing at Dukes in London. 419 00:17:43,244 --> 00:17:45,544 The key, frozen gin. 420 00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:48,313 And a frozen glass. Here. 421 00:17:48,315 --> 00:17:49,550 Move, bad martini. 422 00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:51,717 Okay. 423 00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:53,652 Little bit of vermouth. 424 00:17:53,654 --> 00:17:56,823 Swirl it around, dump. 425 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,225 Don't you dare touch that wash cloth. 426 00:17:59,227 --> 00:18:01,563 Then add in the gin. 427 00:18:02,197 --> 00:18:03,629 Mmm. 428 00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:04,700 Cut your twist. 429 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:10,570 Squeeze it, outside out. Get a nice little mist. 430 00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:12,572 Lick the edges. Voila. 431 00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:14,372 And don't add fucking ice. Ever. 432 00:18:14,374 --> 00:18:16,242 We don't like ice anymore? 433 00:18:16,244 --> 00:18:17,642 That shit ruins everything. 434 00:18:17,644 --> 00:18:19,344 Tough day at work? 435 00:18:19,346 --> 00:18:21,179 I just need to hit the reset button sometimes. 436 00:18:21,181 --> 00:18:22,849 Oh, cheers! 437 00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:24,420 Cheers. 438 00:18:33,694 --> 00:18:35,229 Can you make me one of those? 439 00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:38,598 Do I look reset? 440 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,169 Because I feel reset. 441 00:18:41,469 --> 00:18:43,468 You smell good. 442 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,470 What is that perfume? You smell so good. 443 00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,273 - I wish I smelled like you. - Thank you. 444 00:18:47,275 --> 00:18:49,574 It's one of Dennis'. I could get you one. 445 00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:50,810 I could get you a bathtub full 446 00:18:50,812 --> 00:18:51,878 if you'd like. 447 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,716 I would love it, girlfriend. 448 00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:57,883 Thank you. 449 00:18:57,885 --> 00:19:01,621 I'm really unhappy with myself for taking that picture... 450 00:19:01,623 --> 00:19:03,156 Oh, my God, are you still talking about that? 451 00:19:03,158 --> 00:19:04,422 ...without asking, it's so rude. 452 00:19:04,424 --> 00:19:06,292 - Please, stop. Forget it. - Just, like, "Paparazzo." 453 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:07,326 You are so nice. 454 00:19:07,328 --> 00:19:08,828 I have no idea how you've survived this long. 455 00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:11,197 I'm not as nice as you think so. 456 00:19:11,199 --> 00:19:12,532 Are you baiting me? 457 00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:14,603 No. I'm just saying. 458 00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:19,272 - Everybody has a dark side. - Mmm-hmm. 459 00:19:19,274 --> 00:19:21,506 Some of us are better at hiding it than others. 460 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,275 Wanna trade confessions? 461 00:19:23,277 --> 00:19:24,877 - No, no. No. - Come on. 462 00:19:24,879 --> 00:19:27,446 What's the wildest thing you've ever done? 463 00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:29,317 Oh, no, I don't know, I shouldn't. 464 00:19:29,816 --> 00:19:31,217 You go first. 465 00:19:31,219 --> 00:19:32,488 Okay, um... 466 00:19:33,888 --> 00:19:36,421 Few months ago, Sean and I had his TA over 467 00:19:36,423 --> 00:19:39,228 for dinner, and drinks, and a threesome. 468 00:19:41,429 --> 00:19:43,329 Was Sean jealous of him? 469 00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:44,533 Did I say it was a him? 470 00:19:47,535 --> 00:19:50,769 That's very cool, sis. Very cool. 471 00:19:50,771 --> 00:19:52,237 - You okay? - Yeah! 472 00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:53,605 I don't mean to freak you out. 473 00:19:53,607 --> 00:19:56,342 Hello! I'm not freaked out, maybe you're freaked out. 474 00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:57,509 - Okay. - Because I'm not freaked out. 475 00:19:57,511 --> 00:19:59,579 I'm cool. I'm laissez-faire. 476 00:19:59,581 --> 00:20:01,680 Okay, laissez-faire. 477 00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:02,814 I mean, you're not exactly a sexual maverick. 478 00:20:02,816 --> 00:20:03,949 And that's fine. 479 00:20:03,951 --> 00:20:05,621 You know, prudes are people, too. 480 00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:08,923 I wanna know your secret. Tell me. 481 00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:13,362 My dad died when I was a senior in high school. 482 00:20:14,562 --> 00:20:16,562 And 483 00:20:16,564 --> 00:20:17,932 this boy showed up to the funeral. 484 00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:22,467 His name was Chris. 485 00:20:22,469 --> 00:20:25,237 And I guess he was the spitting image 486 00:20:25,239 --> 00:20:26,874 of my father, 30 years younger. 487 00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:33,715 My mom thought she saw a ghost. 488 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,455 And it turned out he was my half-brother. 489 00:20:42,757 --> 00:20:45,791 That's your whole secret? That your dad had an affair? 490 00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:47,459 No! 491 00:20:47,461 --> 00:20:49,527 Okay, can you just tell me your secret? 492 00:20:49,529 --> 00:20:51,666 Come on, spill it, dark side. 493 00:20:52,366 --> 00:20:54,766 So, Chris... 494 00:20:54,768 --> 00:20:57,669 It was too late for him to drive home, so he stayed over. 495 00:20:57,671 --> 00:20:59,240 We stayed up all night, talking, 496 00:20:59,641 --> 00:21:00,776 and 497 00:21:01,776 --> 00:21:03,376 my dad was... 498 00:21:03,378 --> 00:21:05,777 My dad was really the person who understood me. 499 00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:07,548 And he was gone, so... 500 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:12,717 I was alone, alone for the first time. 501 00:21:12,719 --> 00:21:16,389 But he sees me, you know? 502 00:21:16,391 --> 00:21:17,726 Like, he really sees me. 503 00:21:19,661 --> 00:21:21,781 And we just stared at each other for the longest time. 504 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,530 You can't be too drunk in my house 505 00:21:24,532 --> 00:21:25,730 not to finish the story. What happened? 506 00:21:25,732 --> 00:21:27,432 Uh, yeah. Uh... 507 00:21:27,434 --> 00:21:29,502 Okay, so, I don't know, 508 00:21:29,504 --> 00:21:31,771 maybe it's not so racy where you're from, but... 509 00:21:31,773 --> 00:21:33,872 Stop avoiding. Tell me what happened. 510 00:21:33,874 --> 00:21:35,006 We stood there 511 00:21:35,008 --> 00:21:36,441 - for the longest time. - Uh-huh. 512 00:21:36,443 --> 00:21:38,444 So I went in to hug him, 513 00:21:38,446 --> 00:21:39,781 and we kissed. 514 00:21:40,581 --> 00:21:42,017 I know, it's so gross. 515 00:21:42,784 --> 00:21:43,983 - The end? - Yeah. 516 00:21:43,985 --> 00:21:45,450 - You just kissed? - Yeah, we kissed. 517 00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:47,687 You just kissed your brother? 518 00:21:47,689 --> 00:21:49,988 - Yeah. It's so... - What? 519 00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:51,390 Ugh. It's so lurid. 520 00:21:51,392 --> 00:21:53,391 It's my half-brother. It's not my brother. 521 00:21:53,393 --> 00:21:54,592 He's your half-brother, though? 522 00:21:54,594 --> 00:21:55,828 - Okay. - He's my... 523 00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:56,862 Yeah, there's more. 524 00:21:56,864 --> 00:21:58,363 - Mmm-hmm. - No. No, there's not more. 525 00:21:58,365 --> 00:21:59,931 No, no. Yeah, there is. 526 00:21:59,933 --> 00:22:02,001 - So... - You fucked him. 527 00:22:02,003 --> 00:22:03,401 What? 528 00:22:03,403 --> 00:22:04,769 Was he good? 529 00:22:04,771 --> 00:22:06,971 That is so disgusting. 530 00:22:06,973 --> 00:22:08,974 I don't know... 531 00:22:08,976 --> 00:22:11,076 You didn't fuck him? Tell me you didn't fuck him. 532 00:22:11,078 --> 00:22:12,611 I don't know what's going on in your... 533 00:22:12,613 --> 00:22:13,713 - Swear. - I swear. 534 00:22:13,715 --> 00:22:15,517 Swear on your dad's grave. 535 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,636 Oh, my God. 536 00:22:37,505 --> 00:22:38,438 Don't. 537 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,540 - You brotherfucker! - No. Don't. 538 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:42,975 This is good. 539 00:22:42,977 --> 00:22:45,511 Oh, my God! 540 00:22:45,513 --> 00:22:47,380 I've got a brotherfucker taking care of my kid. 541 00:22:47,382 --> 00:22:48,647 I shouldn't have even said anything. 542 00:22:48,649 --> 00:22:50,682 Brotherfucker. 543 00:22:50,684 --> 00:22:53,518 You know what? I don't know. It's these stupid martinis. 544 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,053 Hey, brotherfucker, do you wanna stay for dinner? 545 00:22:55,055 --> 00:22:56,389 I shouldn't have even said anything. 546 00:22:56,391 --> 00:22:58,457 Yeah, I do wanna stay for dinner. 547 00:22:58,459 --> 00:22:59,557 That would be lovely. 548 00:22:59,559 --> 00:23:00,825 I can't wait to see what you cook. 549 00:23:00,827 --> 00:23:02,495 You know what? 550 00:23:02,497 --> 00:23:04,996 I'm gonna cook you the best meal of your life, 551 00:23:04,998 --> 00:23:06,564 and you're gonna feel really bad 552 00:23:06,566 --> 00:23:08,033 about being so mean right now. 553 00:23:08,035 --> 00:23:09,601 - Brotherfucker! - Ow! 554 00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:11,070 I like you! 555 00:23:11,072 --> 00:23:13,005 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 556 00:23:13,007 --> 00:23:14,873 Today we'll be talking about the perfect first aid kit... 557 00:23:14,875 --> 00:23:17,176 so you're never left in need during a crisis. 558 00:23:20,981 --> 00:23:22,081 Hi! 559 00:23:22,083 --> 00:23:23,149 Stephanie. Thank God you picked up. 560 00:23:23,151 --> 00:23:25,050 Hey, I just have a little emergency. 561 00:23:25,052 --> 00:23:27,052 Oh, really? That's a coincidence. I was just... 562 00:23:27,054 --> 00:23:28,754 I need your help. 563 00:23:28,756 --> 00:23:29,955 Are you okay? 564 00:23:29,957 --> 00:23:32,957 I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor. 565 00:23:32,959 --> 00:23:34,426 Can you grab Nicky from school? 566 00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:36,629 Sean's in London, his mother broke her fucking hip, 567 00:23:36,631 --> 00:23:38,063 and I got a big fire to put out at work. 568 00:23:38,065 --> 00:23:39,532 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! 569 00:23:39,534 --> 00:23:41,503 Poor Sean, poor you. Um... 570 00:23:42,536 --> 00:23:44,035 Anything I can do to help. Yeah. 571 00:23:44,037 --> 00:23:45,603 You're the best. Hey, I gotta run, 572 00:23:45,605 --> 00:23:47,439 but I'll get you back for this, okay? 573 00:23:47,441 --> 00:23:49,507 Of course, Nicky's in good hands. 574 00:23:49,509 --> 00:23:51,944 Hey, Stephanie, you're a good person. 575 00:23:51,946 --> 00:23:53,079 True friend. I mean that. 576 00:23:53,081 --> 00:23:56,118 Don't worry about it. I will talk to you later. Bye. 577 00:24:01,588 --> 00:24:03,221 Freeze! Do you know what I see? 578 00:24:03,223 --> 00:24:05,024 I see two boys getting a play date! 579 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:07,759 Yeah! 580 00:24:07,761 --> 00:24:09,961 Stephanie, that's so great you took the nanny job. 581 00:24:09,963 --> 00:24:11,563 - Nanny job? - Yeah, for Emily. 582 00:24:11,565 --> 00:24:12,834 I know she was looking for one. 583 00:24:15,469 --> 00:24:17,236 Well, that... 584 00:24:17,238 --> 00:24:20,139 We're just friends. I'm helping her as a friend. 585 00:24:20,141 --> 00:24:22,640 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 586 00:24:22,642 --> 00:24:24,642 I didn't realize you guys were so close. 587 00:24:24,644 --> 00:24:26,678 Well, we are! 588 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,782 We drink martinis together. Strong ones from London. 589 00:24:29,784 --> 00:24:31,115 Okay, boys, if you don't wrestle in the car, 590 00:24:31,117 --> 00:24:32,517 I'm gonna make you fruit pops! 591 00:24:32,519 --> 00:24:35,022 - Let's go, let's go! - Yay! 592 00:24:36,923 --> 00:24:39,691 She doesn't know she's working for free. 593 00:24:44,899 --> 00:24:46,265 Whoo! 594 00:24:57,745 --> 00:24:59,111 This is Emily Nelson, 595 00:24:59,113 --> 00:25:01,546 Director of Public Relations for Dennis Nylon Holdings. 596 00:25:01,548 --> 00:25:03,015 Leave a message or go fuck yourself. 597 00:25:03,017 --> 00:25:06,651 Hey, uh, Em, it's Stephanie. Um... 598 00:25:06,653 --> 00:25:09,121 I know you're probably knee-deep in that crisis. 599 00:25:09,123 --> 00:25:11,055 But Nicky's asking when you're coming to get him, 600 00:25:11,057 --> 00:25:13,191 and I don't know what to say, so... 601 00:25:13,193 --> 00:25:14,692 Just let me know. 602 00:25:14,694 --> 00:25:17,830 And I hope you're hanging in there. Give 'em heck. 603 00:25:17,832 --> 00:25:20,599 Stephanie Smothers. I'm a close friend of hers, 604 00:25:20,601 --> 00:25:21,867 I'm watching her son. 605 00:25:21,869 --> 00:25:23,802 Can you just tell me where she is 606 00:25:23,804 --> 00:25:25,137 and when she might be back? 607 00:25:25,139 --> 00:25:28,040 Yeah, she's in Miami for a few days. 608 00:25:28,042 --> 00:25:29,707 Did you wanna leave a message? 609 00:25:29,709 --> 00:25:31,610 I'm sorry, did you say a few days? 610 00:25:31,612 --> 00:25:33,044 Yeah, can you hold for a second, please? 611 00:25:33,046 --> 00:25:35,113 She didn't say that it was gonna be a few... 612 00:25:35,115 --> 00:25:36,849 Oh, for the love of Joe. 613 00:25:36,851 --> 00:25:37,917 Oh! 614 00:25:37,919 --> 00:25:40,553 Yes? 615 00:25:40,555 --> 00:25:43,188 Sean, hi! Um, it's Stephanie. I'm so sorry to bother you. 616 00:25:43,190 --> 00:25:44,657 I got your number from the school directory. 617 00:25:44,659 --> 00:25:45,858 Has something happened to Nicky? 618 00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:48,593 No! Uh, Nicky's fine. 619 00:25:48,595 --> 00:25:50,696 Yeah, sorry, he's fine. He's here with me. 620 00:25:50,698 --> 00:25:53,869 Um, Emily, though, asked me to watch him, 621 00:25:55,670 --> 00:25:58,203 and that was two days ago, and I haven't heard from her. 622 00:25:58,205 --> 00:25:59,572 Have you guys been in touch? 623 00:25:59,574 --> 00:26:00,872 Christ, two days? 624 00:26:00,874 --> 00:26:01,908 What'd she tell you? 625 00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:04,208 Um, she said she had to put out a big fire. 626 00:26:04,210 --> 00:26:05,076 And I called her office, 627 00:26:05,078 --> 00:26:06,711 and then they said she was in Miami? 628 00:26:06,713 --> 00:26:08,280 Yeah, that sounds about right. 629 00:26:08,282 --> 00:26:09,782 I mean, I've played through 630 00:26:09,784 --> 00:26:11,249 some of these emergencies before, 631 00:26:11,251 --> 00:26:13,651 and once she knows that Nicky's being taken care of, 632 00:26:13,653 --> 00:26:15,853 she disappears for quite some time. 633 00:26:15,855 --> 00:26:18,090 Oh, fun! Um... 634 00:26:18,092 --> 00:26:19,158 I'm flying back tomorrow. 635 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,593 I'll pick up Nicky as soon as I'm on the ground. 636 00:26:21,595 --> 00:26:22,660 All righty? 637 00:26:22,662 --> 00:26:23,998 All righty. 638 00:26:28,835 --> 00:26:30,069 Ah. 639 00:26:30,071 --> 00:26:32,004 Miss Canterbury Tales. 640 00:26:32,006 --> 00:26:33,839 Um, her assistant, Valerie, said that 641 00:26:33,841 --> 00:26:35,107 she couldn't get in touch with her, either. 642 00:26:35,109 --> 00:26:38,977 Which is weird, because it's a work thing, an emergency. 643 00:26:38,979 --> 00:26:41,313 Some of the moms think we should go to the police. 644 00:26:41,315 --> 00:26:42,380 Jesus. 645 00:26:42,382 --> 00:26:44,216 Has it really come to this? 646 00:26:44,218 --> 00:26:45,950 Do you want tea? 647 00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:48,219 You know what? Let's do it. 648 00:26:48,221 --> 00:26:50,922 Not the tea. The police. 649 00:26:50,924 --> 00:26:52,690 - Sean? - Yeah. 650 00:26:52,692 --> 00:26:54,092 The police are here. 651 00:26:54,094 --> 00:26:55,130 Okay. 652 00:27:01,835 --> 00:27:03,736 And when was the last time 653 00:27:03,738 --> 00:27:05,903 either of you heard from her? 654 00:27:05,905 --> 00:27:07,872 Three days ago. 655 00:27:07,874 --> 00:27:10,074 I was in London. My mother broke her hip. 656 00:27:10,076 --> 00:27:12,210 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - Thank you. 657 00:27:12,212 --> 00:27:13,812 Well, she said it was a work crisis? 658 00:27:13,814 --> 00:27:15,948 Yeah. She has a very high-profile job 659 00:27:15,950 --> 00:27:18,350 and a full staff that she oversees. 660 00:27:18,352 --> 00:27:19,951 Most times when a woman vanishes, 661 00:27:19,953 --> 00:27:21,352 she has a reason. 662 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:23,054 What are you implying, exactly? 663 00:27:23,056 --> 00:27:24,957 You two didn't have a fight? 664 00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:26,391 Something to make you run off to London? 665 00:27:26,393 --> 00:27:28,026 Are you saying that I broke my mother's hip? 666 00:27:28,028 --> 00:27:30,030 You leave town, your wife takes off. 667 00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:32,864 Maybe there's, um, 668 00:27:32,866 --> 00:27:35,367 a close friend she might be spending some time with. 669 00:27:35,369 --> 00:27:37,302 Excuse me, that's very rude. 670 00:27:37,304 --> 00:27:39,338 He is a dedicated husband and father. 671 00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,206 I have seen him with his wife, let me tell you, 672 00:27:41,208 --> 00:27:43,441 they've got more chemistry than a science fair. 673 00:27:43,443 --> 00:27:44,576 Just exploring all avenues, ma'am. 674 00:27:44,578 --> 00:27:47,181 Well, that avenue is a dead end, so you can drop it. 675 00:27:48,082 --> 00:27:50,248 And where's Emily's family? 676 00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:51,883 She doesn't have any. 677 00:27:51,885 --> 00:27:52,985 She was an only child, 678 00:27:52,987 --> 00:27:55,824 and her mother and father died when she was a teenager. 679 00:27:56,856 --> 00:27:58,424 I'm sorry, I didn't know that. 680 00:27:58,426 --> 00:27:59,957 We'll file a missing person's report 681 00:27:59,959 --> 00:28:02,727 and contact you in the next couple of days. 682 00:28:02,729 --> 00:28:04,129 If she doesn't turn up, 683 00:28:04,131 --> 00:28:06,431 we'll contact the local authorities in Miami. 684 00:28:06,433 --> 00:28:08,867 Not planning any more trips, are you, Mr. Townsend? 685 00:28:08,869 --> 00:28:09,935 No. 686 00:28:09,937 --> 00:28:11,969 I'm gonna be right here. 687 00:28:11,971 --> 00:28:14,308 I'm gonna be at my house with my son. 688 00:28:15,109 --> 00:28:16,945 We can show ourselves out. 689 00:28:18,946 --> 00:28:21,746 God knows we've had our troubles in the past, 690 00:28:21,748 --> 00:28:24,717 but I don't think she'd just up and leave her child. 691 00:28:24,719 --> 00:28:27,953 No, God, she adores Nicky. She wouldn't do that. 692 00:28:27,955 --> 00:28:29,921 She is an enigma, my wife. 693 00:28:29,923 --> 00:28:31,390 That's what drew me to her. 694 00:28:31,392 --> 00:28:32,957 It can also make her impossible. 695 00:28:32,959 --> 00:28:34,892 She can be so fiercely private. 696 00:28:34,894 --> 00:28:35,861 She sure doesn't like 697 00:28:35,863 --> 00:28:36,995 having her picture taken, I'll tell you that. 698 00:28:36,997 --> 00:28:39,230 I remember this one time, she shut down my Facebook 699 00:28:39,232 --> 00:28:41,399 because I posted up a family picture. 700 00:28:41,401 --> 00:28:43,401 Ugh. Social media is so tricky. 701 00:28:43,403 --> 00:28:44,736 I can get to close to her, 702 00:28:44,738 --> 00:28:46,371 I can never quite reach her. 703 00:28:46,373 --> 00:28:49,108 She's like a beautiful ghost. 704 00:28:49,110 --> 00:28:50,942 Never entirely there. 705 00:28:50,944 --> 00:28:52,377 That's so poetic. 706 00:28:52,379 --> 00:28:54,412 That's why you're such a good writer. 707 00:28:54,414 --> 00:28:57,015 I'm not a writer anymore, Stephanie. 708 00:28:57,017 --> 00:28:58,917 I gave all that up just to chase this woman 709 00:28:58,919 --> 00:28:59,921 for the rest of my life. 710 00:29:02,123 --> 00:29:04,188 I should order a taxi and go home. 711 00:29:04,190 --> 00:29:05,858 Yeah. 712 00:29:05,860 --> 00:29:09,330 Oh, gosh, it's 1:25, they stop driving at 1:00 here. 713 00:29:11,498 --> 00:29:13,332 That couch pulls out, um, 714 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,100 if you wanna stay over. 715 00:29:15,102 --> 00:29:16,935 I know Nicky would love it 716 00:29:16,937 --> 00:29:19,004 if you were here in the morning. 717 00:29:19,006 --> 00:29:20,175 That would be lovely. 718 00:29:37,257 --> 00:29:39,091 Who wants more B vitamins? 719 00:29:39,093 --> 00:29:40,258 - Yeah! - I do! 720 00:29:40,260 --> 00:29:42,060 Yeah? Are they nice? 721 00:29:42,062 --> 00:29:44,095 - Yeah. - Yeah? Delicious? 722 00:29:44,097 --> 00:29:46,532 - Hi. - Hey. 723 00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:47,966 Uh, what on Earth are you making? 724 00:29:47,968 --> 00:29:50,235 These are hangover smoothies. 725 00:29:50,237 --> 00:29:52,004 They get it right out of you. 726 00:29:52,006 --> 00:29:54,238 And the kids love them. 727 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,841 Little tip, they have a full portion 728 00:29:55,843 --> 00:29:56,975 of vegetables in them, 729 00:29:56,977 --> 00:29:57,976 and they don't even know it. 730 00:29:57,978 --> 00:30:00,012 It's so hard to get kids to eat their vegetables. 731 00:30:00,014 --> 00:30:01,015 Right? 732 00:30:02,149 --> 00:30:03,849 Mmm. 733 00:30:03,851 --> 00:30:05,120 Wanna try some? 734 00:30:05,486 --> 00:30:06,821 Great. 735 00:30:12,860 --> 00:30:14,094 Good? 736 00:30:16,462 --> 00:30:20,098 I think we should get ready for school. 737 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:21,770 Oh, school, school. 738 00:30:22,503 --> 00:30:23,968 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 739 00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:25,437 Today I'm making a new recipe 740 00:30:25,439 --> 00:30:27,605 I learned for a hangover smoothie. 741 00:30:27,607 --> 00:30:28,607 Uh, it's really nice. 742 00:30:28,609 --> 00:30:30,575 I especially want to thank everybody 743 00:30:30,577 --> 00:30:33,147 who's written in to ask about Emily. 744 00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:35,816 It's been four days now. 745 00:30:36,517 --> 00:30:37,749 So... 746 00:30:37,751 --> 00:30:40,886 The good news is that Sean is home from London, 747 00:30:40,888 --> 00:30:43,124 and he's working very closely with the police. 748 00:30:43,623 --> 00:30:47,024 Um, actually, moms, 749 00:30:47,026 --> 00:30:49,894 I know a lot of you are hung up on the idea 750 00:30:49,896 --> 00:30:51,964 that the husband is always the primary suspect. 751 00:30:51,966 --> 00:30:53,834 I know, I've seen Law & Order. 752 00:30:54,235 --> 00:30:55,499 But, um... 753 00:30:55,501 --> 00:30:58,035 First, I'm here to tell you 754 00:30:58,037 --> 00:31:00,938 Sean was in London when Emily disappeared. 755 00:31:00,940 --> 00:31:02,940 And some of you have suggested 756 00:31:02,942 --> 00:31:05,576 that he did that to set up an alibi, 757 00:31:05,578 --> 00:31:10,215 but he's an amazing husband and an amazing father, so... 758 00:31:10,217 --> 00:31:11,816 The police haven't been much help. 759 00:31:11,818 --> 00:31:14,018 But every mom knows that if you want something done right, 760 00:31:14,020 --> 00:31:16,153 you have to do it yourself. 761 00:31:16,155 --> 00:31:17,922 I will leave no stone unturned. 762 00:31:17,924 --> 00:31:19,624 I think that's what Emily would want. 763 00:31:19,626 --> 00:31:21,186 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 764 00:31:22,328 --> 00:31:24,097 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 765 00:31:25,231 --> 00:31:26,297 Thanks for holding. 766 00:31:26,299 --> 00:31:28,132 How may I direct your call? 767 00:31:28,134 --> 00:31:29,234 Hi, my name is Stephanie... 768 00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:30,902 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 769 00:31:30,904 --> 00:31:32,603 My friend works here. She's been missing... 770 00:31:32,605 --> 00:31:34,573 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 771 00:31:34,575 --> 00:31:36,507 I tried to call her assistant. 772 00:31:36,509 --> 00:31:38,677 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Valerie. 773 00:31:38,679 --> 00:31:39,745 She wasn't super helpful. 774 00:31:39,747 --> 00:31:41,313 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 775 00:31:41,315 --> 00:31:42,514 I can't tell if you're talking to me. 776 00:31:42,516 --> 00:31:43,918 You're looking right at me. 777 00:31:44,949 --> 00:31:46,017 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 778 00:31:46,019 --> 00:31:48,019 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 779 00:31:48,021 --> 00:31:49,353 Her name is Emily Nelson. 780 00:31:49,355 --> 00:31:51,089 She's the head of the PR department. 781 00:31:51,091 --> 00:31:52,424 Emily's not in today. 782 00:31:52,426 --> 00:31:54,092 I know she's not in. 783 00:31:54,094 --> 00:31:56,361 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 784 00:31:56,363 --> 00:31:58,229 Just gonna... 785 00:31:58,231 --> 00:32:00,698 Sorry. No, I am not sorry. 786 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:04,402 I need to speak to Dennis Nylon, please? 787 00:32:04,404 --> 00:32:06,071 A woman's missing, so... 788 00:32:06,073 --> 00:32:08,172 Mr. Nylon's not here right now. 789 00:32:08,174 --> 00:32:09,307 Great, I'll wait. 790 00:32:09,309 --> 00:32:10,477 Knock yourself out. 791 00:32:11,378 --> 00:32:12,513 Okay. 792 00:32:28,629 --> 00:32:31,463 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 793 00:32:31,465 --> 00:32:32,730 Um, Mr. Nylon? 794 00:32:32,732 --> 00:32:34,599 We don't accept unsolicited resumes. 795 00:32:34,601 --> 00:32:36,133 Cool, that's not why I'm here. 796 00:32:36,135 --> 00:32:37,235 Um, we have a problem. 797 00:32:37,237 --> 00:32:39,036 We most certainly do. 798 00:32:39,038 --> 00:32:40,371 A friend of mine works in your publicity department... 799 00:32:40,373 --> 00:32:41,942 Is that a vintage Hermes scarf? 800 00:32:42,642 --> 00:32:44,109 My Aunt Frieda gave it to me. 801 00:32:44,111 --> 00:32:45,576 Did she want you to hang yourself with it? 802 00:32:45,578 --> 00:32:47,178 Look at that knot, Jesus fucking Christ! 803 00:32:47,180 --> 00:32:49,081 I'm here about Emily Nelson. 804 00:32:49,083 --> 00:32:50,748 What about Emily? What happened? 805 00:32:50,750 --> 00:32:53,084 She asked me to pick up her son four days ago 806 00:32:53,086 --> 00:32:54,419 because she went to Miami. 807 00:32:54,421 --> 00:32:56,254 She's still not back. No texts, no calls, 808 00:32:56,256 --> 00:32:57,522 and no one in your office seems to give a crap. 809 00:32:57,524 --> 00:32:58,526 Excuse my language. 810 00:32:59,994 --> 00:33:01,626 - Kiko. - Hmm? 811 00:33:01,628 --> 00:33:03,328 Why did Emily go to Miami? 812 00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:04,699 I didn't know she did. 813 00:33:06,632 --> 00:33:08,632 We in this office have learned that 814 00:33:08,634 --> 00:33:10,334 when Emily elects not to tell us something, 815 00:33:10,336 --> 00:33:11,736 it's best not to ask. 816 00:33:11,738 --> 00:33:13,205 Doesn't she work for you? 817 00:33:13,207 --> 00:33:15,506 Emily's job is to stop the apocalypse 818 00:33:15,508 --> 00:33:17,376 without worrying any of the designers. 819 00:33:17,378 --> 00:33:18,709 And she always finds a way 820 00:33:18,711 --> 00:33:20,245 to look fabulous when she does it. 821 00:33:20,247 --> 00:33:21,545 That's great! 822 00:33:21,547 --> 00:33:23,782 What do you suggest that I do? 823 00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:26,217 Never wear a vintage Hermes scarf with a Gap T-shirt. 824 00:33:26,219 --> 00:33:28,387 If you were truly Emily's friend, you would know that. 825 00:33:28,389 --> 00:33:30,458 Excuse me, I have a very busy day. 826 00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,092 Valerie, my office. 827 00:33:34,094 --> 00:33:35,095 Now! 828 00:33:50,244 --> 00:33:52,209 Hi. 829 00:33:52,211 --> 00:33:54,248 Sit, sit, sit! Emily! I want answers. 830 00:33:55,282 --> 00:33:57,618 Steven, you forgot the shirts. 831 00:34:08,328 --> 00:34:10,694 No, I can't help you with that. 832 00:34:10,696 --> 00:34:12,129 Of course he's freaking out. 833 00:34:12,131 --> 00:34:14,533 He needs someone to manage this now. 834 00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:15,703 I don't know. 835 00:34:27,181 --> 00:34:28,383 Mother fudger. 836 00:34:59,812 --> 00:35:01,245 Well, if it isn't Aunt Frieda's 837 00:35:01,247 --> 00:35:02,379 least favorite niece. 838 00:35:02,381 --> 00:35:03,714 What were you doing up there? 839 00:35:03,716 --> 00:35:05,183 Corporate spying? 840 00:35:05,185 --> 00:35:06,621 Or just a common garden shoplifter? 841 00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:09,721 Yeah, you gotta go right at them. 842 00:35:09,723 --> 00:35:11,156 Especially the powerful ones. 843 00:35:11,158 --> 00:35:12,759 Or they will fuck you in the face. 844 00:35:13,861 --> 00:35:15,393 Listen, you bargain basement Tom Ford, 845 00:35:15,395 --> 00:35:16,627 if you don't have this Ken doll 846 00:35:16,629 --> 00:35:17,696 unhand me this second, 847 00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:19,663 I will tell the thousands of moms that watch my vlog 848 00:35:19,665 --> 00:35:21,900 that Dennis Nylon is a bully who victimizes women. 849 00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:23,634 And that they should stop buying your tacky blouses 850 00:35:23,636 --> 00:35:24,870 made by Indonesian children. 851 00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,308 Because if you lose moms, you lose business. 852 00:35:30,310 --> 00:35:31,442 Okay, number one, 853 00:35:31,444 --> 00:35:32,777 they are not Indonesian children, 854 00:35:32,779 --> 00:35:34,478 they are Vietnamese teenagers. 855 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,582 Number two, Tom Ford wishes he were me. 856 00:35:37,584 --> 00:35:40,654 And number three, if I'm tacky, 857 00:35:41,587 --> 00:35:42,656 okay? 858 00:35:43,256 --> 00:35:44,489 You're... 859 00:35:44,491 --> 00:35:45,660 This has been fun. 860 00:35:46,727 --> 00:35:48,763 Better pray I don't have a bruise. 861 00:35:59,573 --> 00:36:01,613 No wonder she doesn't like having her picture taken. 862 00:36:07,814 --> 00:36:09,580 Look at our little Stephanie. 863 00:36:09,582 --> 00:36:11,683 Comforting the worried husband. 864 00:36:11,685 --> 00:36:12,750 Oh, please. 865 00:36:12,752 --> 00:36:15,286 It's an arts and crafts project. 866 00:36:15,288 --> 00:36:17,955 I've never seen her pass up a chance to use a stapler. 867 00:36:17,957 --> 00:36:19,958 Emily's gonna hate those flyers 868 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,692 when she gets back. 869 00:36:21,694 --> 00:36:24,164 She's not coming back. 870 00:36:25,265 --> 00:36:26,665 Don't you watch Dateline? 871 00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:29,136 If the case isn't solved in the first 72 hours, 872 00:36:29,902 --> 00:36:31,805 they're always dead. 873 00:36:32,406 --> 00:36:33,538 Oh, yeah. 874 00:36:35,308 --> 00:36:36,473 Oh, perfect timing! 875 00:36:36,475 --> 00:36:37,542 Dinner's ready. 876 00:36:37,544 --> 00:36:38,643 The boys are upstairs. 877 00:36:38,645 --> 00:36:40,444 I'm just gonna have them wash their hands 878 00:36:40,446 --> 00:36:41,548 and come down. 879 00:36:42,315 --> 00:36:43,582 Um... 880 00:36:43,584 --> 00:36:45,250 Are you okay? 881 00:36:45,252 --> 00:36:47,319 I've just never experienced anything like this. 882 00:36:47,321 --> 00:36:49,754 Walking into a fully set dinner table. 883 00:36:49,756 --> 00:36:53,225 Yeah, this is weird. 884 00:36:53,227 --> 00:36:55,426 - I'm being... - No, no, no! Not at all. 885 00:36:55,428 --> 00:36:57,228 I think anything stable these days 886 00:36:57,230 --> 00:36:58,862 is like a gift from heaven, right? 887 00:36:58,864 --> 00:37:00,498 I should tidy up first, though. 888 00:37:04,937 --> 00:37:06,237 - Hey. - Hello. 889 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:07,239 - Mr. Townsend? - Ah, yes. 890 00:37:07,241 --> 00:37:08,672 Detective Summerville. We spoke on the phone. 891 00:37:08,674 --> 00:37:10,007 That's right. Um... 892 00:37:10,009 --> 00:37:12,243 Stephanie, can you help the boys with their homework? 893 00:37:12,245 --> 00:37:13,911 Of course. 894 00:37:13,913 --> 00:37:15,779 - Come in. Sorry. - Thank you. 895 00:37:15,781 --> 00:37:19,219 Just a pre-dinner snack. 896 00:37:20,620 --> 00:37:21,554 That's a cute nanny. 897 00:37:21,556 --> 00:37:24,556 No, no. That's one of my wife's friends. 898 00:37:24,558 --> 00:37:25,927 She's been helping me out. 899 00:37:27,493 --> 00:37:29,893 Oh, shit. Can she come help out around my house, too? 900 00:37:33,332 --> 00:37:34,632 The passenger manifest says 901 00:37:34,634 --> 00:37:36,634 she wasn't on any flights to Miami. 902 00:37:36,636 --> 00:37:38,937 But she did rent a white Kia from Budget. 903 00:37:38,939 --> 00:37:40,705 She paid in cash for a two-day rental. 904 00:37:40,707 --> 00:37:42,674 Now, when people pay in cash, 905 00:37:42,676 --> 00:37:44,408 it usually means one thing. 906 00:37:44,410 --> 00:37:46,511 What are you saying? She's having an affair? 907 00:37:46,513 --> 00:37:47,946 I can't say that with any confidence. 908 00:37:47,948 --> 00:37:49,681 Can you not track the Kia? 909 00:37:49,683 --> 00:37:51,348 I have toll booth reports coming in 910 00:37:51,350 --> 00:37:52,549 from across the country, 911 00:37:52,551 --> 00:37:54,419 assuming she's not swapping out plates. 912 00:37:54,421 --> 00:37:55,920 I wanna get a description of your wife to 913 00:37:55,922 --> 00:37:58,922 every precinct in the tri-state area, okay? 914 00:37:58,924 --> 00:38:00,991 Did she have any distinguishing features? 915 00:38:00,993 --> 00:38:03,295 Any birthmarks, tattoos? 916 00:38:03,297 --> 00:38:04,462 She's got a tattoo on her left wrist. 917 00:38:04,464 --> 00:38:05,529 Oh, great. 918 00:38:05,531 --> 00:38:08,533 It's flames and a charity symbol in the middle. 919 00:38:08,535 --> 00:38:10,502 Really? 920 00:38:10,504 --> 00:38:11,636 More judgment from you? 921 00:38:11,638 --> 00:38:12,804 Nope. No, no, no. 922 00:38:12,806 --> 00:38:14,071 But she did things like that. 923 00:38:14,073 --> 00:38:16,373 Impulsive, crazy things. 924 00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:17,942 I'm gonna go call this in. 925 00:38:17,944 --> 00:38:19,480 Tell your wife's friend I said goodbye. 926 00:38:22,549 --> 00:38:23,614 You're a saint. 927 00:38:23,616 --> 00:38:25,049 You don't have to do that. 928 00:38:25,051 --> 00:38:27,518 I'm not a saint. I just like to keep my hands busy. 929 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,487 Um... I should go. 930 00:38:29,489 --> 00:38:31,089 It's Flags of the World day on Monday. 931 00:38:31,091 --> 00:38:32,793 I haven't even started on South America. 932 00:38:35,796 --> 00:38:37,562 Sorry. 933 00:38:37,564 --> 00:38:40,431 No, I don't mean sorry. I mean thank you. 934 00:38:40,433 --> 00:38:42,333 Thank you for being such a good friend. 935 00:38:42,335 --> 00:38:43,368 Of course. 936 00:38:43,370 --> 00:38:45,837 I'm a problem-solver, I just wish I could do more. 937 00:38:45,839 --> 00:38:47,275 You're doing plenty. 938 00:38:55,748 --> 00:38:57,415 So, that's where we are today. 939 00:38:57,417 --> 00:38:58,683 And we are keeping our heads up 940 00:38:58,685 --> 00:39:00,417 and not jumping to any conclusions. 941 00:39:00,419 --> 00:39:01,786 We are soldiering on 942 00:39:01,788 --> 00:39:03,922 with cookies and origami. 943 00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:06,491 But for you moms who want to help, 944 00:39:06,493 --> 00:39:08,659 we know that Emily was driving a white Kia 945 00:39:08,661 --> 00:39:10,495 that she rented from a Budget 946 00:39:10,497 --> 00:39:13,098 at La Guardia Airport on the 24th. 947 00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:14,565 And I did a little digging, 948 00:39:14,567 --> 00:39:16,770 so, um, the license plate is... 949 00:39:23,377 --> 00:39:24,442 Dear Stephanie, 950 00:39:24,444 --> 00:39:25,377 I'm writing from Standish, Michigan, 951 00:39:25,379 --> 00:39:26,411 with a possible Emily sighting. 952 00:39:26,413 --> 00:39:29,380 I was driving down I-75 two days ago, 953 00:39:29,382 --> 00:39:31,649 when I saw a woman gassing up a white Kia. 954 00:39:31,651 --> 00:39:32,783 She was really pretty, 955 00:39:32,785 --> 00:39:34,118 and I remember thinking she didn't look like 956 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,520 she was from around here. 957 00:39:35,522 --> 00:39:36,556 I hope this helps. 958 00:39:38,091 --> 00:39:40,391 So, um, Summerville sent the info 959 00:39:40,393 --> 00:39:41,792 to the local authorities in Michigan. 960 00:39:41,794 --> 00:39:44,562 Did she ever mention Michigan? Did she have a friend there? 961 00:39:44,564 --> 00:39:47,565 As far as I knew, she didn't have any real friends. 962 00:39:47,567 --> 00:39:48,933 - Not before you. - Oh. 963 00:39:48,935 --> 00:39:50,100 How is that possible? 964 00:39:54,607 --> 00:39:56,477 Hello. Please tell me you found her. 965 00:39:57,109 --> 00:39:58,345 A lake? 966 00:39:59,613 --> 00:40:01,082 Well, I don't know. 967 00:40:02,649 --> 00:40:04,482 Okay, I'm heading there now. 968 00:40:04,484 --> 00:40:06,750 They found the rental car in Michigan. 969 00:40:06,752 --> 00:40:07,618 Look, I'm gonna have to go 970 00:40:07,620 --> 00:40:09,721 because otherwise I'm going to go crazy. 971 00:40:09,723 --> 00:40:11,523 - Can you do me a favor? - Yes, it's done. Go. 972 00:40:13,026 --> 00:40:14,993 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 973 00:40:14,995 --> 00:40:18,096 I can see we have a flood of new viewers today. 974 00:40:18,098 --> 00:40:21,031 And if you're new to the vlog, I'm sorry. 975 00:40:21,033 --> 00:40:23,167 This probably isn't the best entry to start with. 976 00:40:23,169 --> 00:40:26,203 For those of you who have been following my vlog this week, 977 00:40:26,205 --> 00:40:29,073 you know that my best friend, Emily, went missing. 978 00:40:29,075 --> 00:40:33,111 So many of you wrote in with your helpful tips and ideas. 979 00:40:33,113 --> 00:40:37,015 I wanna give a special thanks to Leanne Lippens 980 00:40:37,017 --> 00:40:40,453 whose helpful tip made a major break in the case. 981 00:40:42,189 --> 00:40:44,058 I have some somber news. 982 00:40:46,692 --> 00:40:48,161 Emily was found. 983 00:40:51,698 --> 00:40:53,466 Not alive, I'm afraid. 984 00:40:55,201 --> 00:40:57,604 My friend, Emily Nelson, 985 00:40:59,205 --> 00:41:00,408 is dead. 986 00:41:15,087 --> 00:41:17,489 Our Father, we look to you again, 987 00:41:17,491 --> 00:41:19,690 facing this moment of our need. 988 00:41:19,692 --> 00:41:22,960 In our sorrow, grief and loneliness 989 00:41:22,962 --> 00:41:24,995 draw us up to yourself 990 00:41:24,997 --> 00:41:28,065 that we may know the comfort of the everlasting arms. 991 00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:30,033 Especially support and comfort those 992 00:41:30,035 --> 00:41:33,203 who have been closest to our departed sister. 993 00:41:33,205 --> 00:41:34,906 Sustain them in the blessed assurance 994 00:41:34,908 --> 00:41:36,641 that death is conquered, 995 00:41:36,643 --> 00:41:37,975 the new life is begun. 996 00:41:37,977 --> 00:41:39,911 To be absent from the body 997 00:41:39,913 --> 00:41:41,712 is to be present with the Lord. 998 00:41:41,714 --> 00:41:43,681 May we be assured in the hope 999 00:41:43,683 --> 00:41:45,049 that we shall walk together again 1000 00:41:45,051 --> 00:41:47,150 in your blessed presence. 1001 00:41:47,152 --> 00:41:49,520 Help us to number our days 1002 00:41:49,522 --> 00:41:51,858 that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 1003 00:41:52,759 --> 00:41:53,991 In the name of the Father, 1004 00:41:53,993 --> 00:41:55,629 and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 1005 00:41:56,196 --> 00:41:57,198 Amen. 1006 00:42:04,738 --> 00:42:05,803 Hi. 1007 00:42:05,805 --> 00:42:06,806 Oh, hi. 1008 00:42:08,174 --> 00:42:09,908 Are those, um... 1009 00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:11,775 Oh, yeah, yeah, they are. 1010 00:42:11,777 --> 00:42:14,545 They're from your last-minute brownie entry. 1011 00:42:14,547 --> 00:42:16,880 I can't believe you watch my vlog. 1012 00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:18,248 To be honest, 1013 00:42:18,250 --> 00:42:19,683 when we first started watching it, 1014 00:42:19,685 --> 00:42:21,118 we were just making fun of you. 1015 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,819 But, um... 1016 00:42:22,821 --> 00:42:25,022 But then, you had some really helpful hints in there. 1017 00:42:25,024 --> 00:42:27,025 Especially when Lulu got that rash, 1018 00:42:27,027 --> 00:42:28,993 apple cider vinegar was great. 1019 00:42:28,995 --> 00:42:30,594 Oh, well, great! That's... 1020 00:42:30,596 --> 00:42:31,598 Yeah. 1021 00:42:33,832 --> 00:42:34,933 You're a real saint 1022 00:42:34,935 --> 00:42:36,199 to help her family out like this. 1023 00:42:36,201 --> 00:42:37,467 I'm not a saint. 1024 00:42:37,469 --> 00:42:40,170 Emily was my friend, and she'd do the same for me, so... 1025 00:42:40,172 --> 00:42:41,806 If you or Sean need me 1026 00:42:41,808 --> 00:42:44,676 to watch Miles or Nicky anytime, it's nothing. 1027 00:42:44,678 --> 00:42:47,111 That's so sweet, Sona. Thank you. 1028 00:42:47,113 --> 00:42:50,181 It's the least she could do, she didn't even bake anything. 1029 00:42:50,183 --> 00:42:51,518 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1030 00:42:52,252 --> 00:42:53,585 Nicky, 1031 00:42:53,587 --> 00:42:55,018 you don't need to worry. 1032 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:56,620 Your mom's in heaven now. 1033 00:42:56,622 --> 00:42:59,223 No, she's not! Shut up! 1034 00:42:59,225 --> 00:43:00,357 - She's in the ground! - Ow! Stop it! 1035 00:43:00,359 --> 00:43:01,725 She's never coming back! 1036 00:43:01,727 --> 00:43:03,094 Ow! You're hurting me! 1037 00:43:03,096 --> 00:43:04,828 - I hate you! - Ow! Stop it! 1038 00:43:04,830 --> 00:43:07,066 Nicky, get off him! 1039 00:43:08,835 --> 00:43:10,134 Nicky, what're you doing? Get off him! 1040 00:43:10,136 --> 00:43:11,835 What the hell are you doing? 1041 00:43:11,837 --> 00:43:12,804 Calm down, stop that. 1042 00:43:12,806 --> 00:43:15,172 She made this happen! She made my mom die! 1043 00:43:15,174 --> 00:43:16,641 That's crazy and you know that. 1044 00:43:16,643 --> 00:43:17,942 She's trying to be my new mom! 1045 00:43:17,944 --> 00:43:19,042 Sweetie, I'm not trying to be your mom. 1046 00:43:19,044 --> 00:43:20,210 I want my mom! 1047 00:43:20,212 --> 00:43:21,279 I know you do, baby. I know you do. 1048 00:43:21,281 --> 00:43:22,679 - But calm down. - Mom was right! 1049 00:43:22,681 --> 00:43:24,949 You are a loser! 1050 00:43:25,652 --> 00:43:26,717 Is that what she told you, 1051 00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:27,951 drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon? 1052 00:43:27,953 --> 00:43:30,087 - I am trying my best! - Sean! 1053 00:43:30,089 --> 00:43:31,688 He's just a little boy. Jesus! 1054 00:43:31,690 --> 00:43:33,190 Nicky, I'm sorry. 1055 00:43:33,192 --> 00:43:34,859 - What do I do? - Okay. 1056 00:43:34,861 --> 00:43:36,027 What do I do? 1057 00:43:36,029 --> 00:43:37,362 We're all gonna take a deep, centering breath now. 1058 00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:38,895 Ready? 1059 00:43:38,897 --> 00:43:40,297 We're gonna focus on one thing at a time. 1060 00:43:40,299 --> 00:43:42,299 I'm gonna stay and talk to Nicky. 1061 00:43:42,301 --> 00:43:43,900 So I need you to take Miles inside, 1062 00:43:43,902 --> 00:43:45,268 put some ice on his nose. 1063 00:43:45,270 --> 00:43:47,073 'Cause you got a good little shiner coming. 1064 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:49,776 - It's okay. - Okay. 1065 00:43:50,143 --> 00:43:51,145 It's okay. 1066 00:43:53,946 --> 00:43:55,615 I don't wanna talk to you. 1067 00:43:58,752 --> 00:43:59,850 You're not my favorite dinner date 1068 00:43:59,852 --> 00:44:01,986 right now either, buster. 1069 00:44:01,988 --> 00:44:03,187 But you should know that everything 1070 00:44:03,189 --> 00:44:05,188 you're feeling right now is normal. 1071 00:44:05,190 --> 00:44:07,391 You can act out all you want. That's fine. 1072 00:44:07,393 --> 00:44:09,192 This doesn't change what I know. 1073 00:44:09,194 --> 00:44:10,728 What do you know? 1074 00:44:10,730 --> 00:44:11,865 That you're a good kid. 1075 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,669 So let's just sit here and not talk. 1076 00:44:18,672 --> 00:44:20,772 Let's just sit here 1077 00:44:20,774 --> 00:44:22,977 and feel lousy and watch the grass grow. 1078 00:44:57,109 --> 00:44:58,111 Hey. 1079 00:44:59,745 --> 00:45:02,913 Hey, come on. Don't be hard on yourself, yeah? 1080 00:45:02,915 --> 00:45:05,216 It's the kind of stuff nobody gets right. 1081 00:45:05,218 --> 00:45:07,217 You do. You always do. 1082 00:45:07,219 --> 00:45:08,988 No, no, come on. 1083 00:45:32,145 --> 00:45:33,847 Um... I don't know if... 1084 00:45:34,814 --> 00:45:35,879 Yeah. 1085 00:45:35,881 --> 00:45:37,216 - Yeah, we shouldn't. - Yeah. 1086 00:45:38,417 --> 00:45:40,051 Yeah. 1087 00:45:42,888 --> 00:45:43,890 Fuck. 1088 00:48:14,373 --> 00:48:16,973 Are you serious? 1089 00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,353 Hey, Ms. Smothers! 1090 00:48:30,355 --> 00:48:32,892 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah. Um... 1091 00:48:34,259 --> 00:48:35,299 I'm gonna come right down. 1092 00:48:38,163 --> 00:48:39,332 Shit! 1093 00:48:40,632 --> 00:48:43,366 - Hi! Hi! - Hey! Hey! 1094 00:48:43,368 --> 00:48:46,536 Uh, I just left something here, so I was just... 1095 00:48:46,538 --> 00:48:47,938 I had a key 1096 00:48:47,940 --> 00:48:49,640 because earlier, Sean gave me a key... 1097 00:48:49,642 --> 00:48:51,208 You're not under arrest, Miss Smothers. 1098 00:48:51,210 --> 00:48:52,212 - Oh! - FYI. 1099 00:48:53,145 --> 00:48:54,545 I should hope not. 1100 00:48:54,547 --> 00:48:57,114 - All right. No, no. - No. 1101 00:48:57,116 --> 00:48:59,152 - You're very funny. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1102 00:48:59,419 --> 00:49:00,554 Um... 1103 00:49:01,353 --> 00:49:02,353 Sean's not here right now. 1104 00:49:02,355 --> 00:49:05,188 You know, I was actually hoping to speak to you. 1105 00:49:05,190 --> 00:49:07,190 - Oh! - Yeah, I went by your house. 1106 00:49:07,192 --> 00:49:08,591 Then I went by the school, 1107 00:49:08,593 --> 00:49:10,594 then one of the moms thought you might be here. 1108 00:49:10,596 --> 00:49:12,632 Did they? Okay. Well, that's... 1109 00:49:13,399 --> 00:49:14,632 Was it Stacy? 1110 00:49:14,634 --> 00:49:16,567 Can I come in? 1111 00:49:16,569 --> 00:49:18,435 - Of course, I would love that! - Thank you. 1112 00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,142 You said that Emily's your best friend. 1113 00:49:22,975 --> 00:49:25,275 Yes. Yes, we are. 1114 00:49:25,277 --> 00:49:27,444 - Was she depressed? - No. 1115 00:49:27,446 --> 00:49:29,080 No, she had everything. 1116 00:49:29,082 --> 00:49:30,580 She had the house and the job... 1117 00:49:30,582 --> 00:49:31,651 And the husband. 1118 00:49:32,718 --> 00:49:34,217 I was getting there, yeah. 1119 00:49:34,219 --> 00:49:36,353 The neighbors said they fought a lot. 1120 00:49:36,355 --> 00:49:38,989 Well, they had issues. Um... 1121 00:49:38,991 --> 00:49:41,091 But they loved each other intensely. 1122 00:49:41,093 --> 00:49:42,296 Oh, what issues did they have? 1123 00:49:42,995 --> 00:49:44,060 The normal issues. 1124 00:49:44,062 --> 00:49:44,962 They were stressed about money. 1125 00:49:44,964 --> 00:49:47,698 And I think Emily wanted to slow down 1126 00:49:47,700 --> 00:49:49,333 and smell the roses. 1127 00:49:49,335 --> 00:49:51,201 She slowed down all right. 1128 00:49:51,203 --> 00:49:54,106 I got the autopsy report right here. 1129 00:49:55,107 --> 00:49:56,207 Let's see here. 1130 00:49:56,209 --> 00:49:59,243 "Severe liver damage suggesting heavy alcohol use. 1131 00:49:59,245 --> 00:50:03,080 "Track marks along her arms and between her toes." 1132 00:50:03,082 --> 00:50:04,685 Were you aware of the heroin use? 1133 00:50:08,053 --> 00:50:09,522 No, that's, uh... 1134 00:50:11,424 --> 00:50:13,056 I'm sorry, I really have 1135 00:50:13,058 --> 00:50:14,658 trouble believing that. 1136 00:50:14,660 --> 00:50:17,060 She liked a very strong martini, but... 1137 00:50:17,062 --> 00:50:21,732 I don't know how she could've kept that a secret from me, 1138 00:50:21,734 --> 00:50:24,234 and especially from her husband, Sean. 1139 00:50:24,236 --> 00:50:26,237 Yeah, you seem to know Sean pretty well. 1140 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,672 I... We've gotten to know each other 1141 00:50:28,674 --> 00:50:31,708 over the last few weeks, just as friends. 1142 00:50:31,710 --> 00:50:32,712 Uh-huh. 1143 00:50:34,212 --> 00:50:35,478 I'm guessing you've never dealt 1144 00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,149 with law enforcement before. 1145 00:50:44,589 --> 00:50:46,292 - Not really, no. - Mmm. 1146 00:50:49,194 --> 00:50:50,261 That's a really nice dress. 1147 00:50:50,263 --> 00:50:52,062 Oh, thank you. 1148 00:50:52,064 --> 00:50:53,297 Doesn't seem to be your style, though. 1149 00:50:53,299 --> 00:50:56,167 Oh, I'm very versatile, Detective, 1150 00:50:56,169 --> 00:50:57,600 I think you'll find. 1151 00:50:57,602 --> 00:51:01,371 I'm really just trying to help Sean and Nicky 1152 00:51:01,373 --> 00:51:02,473 in their time of grief. 1153 00:51:02,475 --> 00:51:03,743 Oh, how is Sean's grief? 1154 00:51:05,210 --> 00:51:06,743 He's holding up very well. 1155 00:51:06,745 --> 00:51:09,179 As well as can be expected. 1156 00:51:09,181 --> 00:51:10,815 Uh-huh. 1157 00:51:10,817 --> 00:51:12,817 Is that everything, or... 1158 00:51:12,819 --> 00:51:15,288 Let me ask you something. 1159 00:51:18,390 --> 00:51:19,690 Were you aware 1160 00:51:19,692 --> 00:51:22,259 that he took out an extra $4 million 1161 00:51:22,261 --> 00:51:23,594 life insurance policy 1162 00:51:23,596 --> 00:51:25,364 on Emily before she disappeared? 1163 00:51:27,399 --> 00:51:30,536 I was not aware of that, no. 1164 00:51:31,270 --> 00:51:32,706 Why? How would I? 1165 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,208 Okay, all right. 1166 00:51:37,210 --> 00:51:39,513 Yeah, I don't... 1167 00:51:40,178 --> 00:51:42,248 I'm sorry. What... 1168 00:51:44,216 --> 00:51:45,281 What are you... 1169 00:51:45,283 --> 00:51:46,616 Are you saying he had her rubbed out? 1170 00:51:46,618 --> 00:51:48,118 He hired a hitman? 1171 00:51:51,323 --> 00:51:53,656 I didn't say anything about him hiring a hitman. 1172 00:51:53,658 --> 00:51:54,757 You just did. 1173 00:51:54,759 --> 00:51:56,560 Okay. 1174 00:51:56,562 --> 00:51:58,194 I can see that you're enjoying yourself, 1175 00:51:58,196 --> 00:51:59,330 Detective Summerville. 1176 00:51:59,332 --> 00:52:00,864 But if you wanna grill someone, you should 1177 00:52:00,866 --> 00:52:03,400 really speak to Emily's boss, Dennis Nylon. 1178 00:52:03,402 --> 00:52:05,201 He could not be more suspicious. 1179 00:52:05,203 --> 00:52:07,471 That's super interesting because he contacted us. 1180 00:52:07,473 --> 00:52:10,574 And he said he thought you knew more than you were letting on. 1181 00:52:10,576 --> 00:52:12,909 Well, he sucks. 1182 00:52:12,911 --> 00:52:15,411 So... 1183 00:52:15,413 --> 00:52:17,714 As long as you're honest with me, Ms. Smothers, 1184 00:52:17,716 --> 00:52:18,882 I swear to you, 1185 00:52:18,884 --> 00:52:20,817 you have nothing to worry about. Okay? 1186 00:52:20,819 --> 00:52:24,587 I'm just following breadcrumbs wherever they lead. 1187 00:52:24,589 --> 00:52:26,323 Okay, you know what? I'm done for now. 1188 00:52:26,325 --> 00:52:28,359 Thanks for your time. 1189 00:52:28,361 --> 00:52:30,928 Your theory doesn't hold water, you know, 1190 00:52:30,930 --> 00:52:32,328 because it doesn't explain 1191 00:52:32,330 --> 00:52:34,632 the fake plane ticket or the rental car. 1192 00:52:34,634 --> 00:52:36,833 And why would someone shoot her full of heroin 1193 00:52:36,835 --> 00:52:38,101 at a summer camp in Michigan? 1194 00:52:38,103 --> 00:52:40,303 There's plenty of good heroin right here in Connecticut! 1195 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,205 I'm told. 1196 00:52:42,207 --> 00:52:44,808 Great, good. Okay, so we have a lot to talk about. 1197 00:52:44,810 --> 00:52:46,476 All right, then. Enjoy the new house. 1198 00:52:46,478 --> 00:52:49,179 The worst breadcrumbs I've ever heard of, you know. 1199 00:52:49,181 --> 00:52:50,346 Couldn't fill a Caesar salad 1200 00:52:50,348 --> 00:52:51,948 with those breadcrumbs! 1201 00:53:44,770 --> 00:53:48,404 Why is this Caesarean salad so crunchy? 1202 00:53:48,406 --> 00:53:51,178 It's Caesar salad, baby, and it's delicious. 1203 00:53:51,676 --> 00:53:52,812 What's in it? 1204 00:53:54,312 --> 00:53:55,314 Breadcrumbs. 1205 00:53:55,580 --> 00:53:56,647 Oh. 1206 00:53:56,649 --> 00:53:57,851 How was your day at work? 1207 00:53:58,817 --> 00:53:59,884 Grim. 1208 00:53:59,886 --> 00:54:01,051 Spent most of the day explaining the difference 1209 00:54:01,053 --> 00:54:05,522 between "your" possessive and "you're" apostrophe R-E 1210 00:54:05,524 --> 00:54:08,424 to college juniors. 1211 00:54:08,426 --> 00:54:10,426 I can see how that might drive a man over the edge. 1212 00:54:11,564 --> 00:54:13,029 I know, right? 1213 00:54:13,031 --> 00:54:14,464 What about you boys? 1214 00:54:14,466 --> 00:54:16,667 What'd you guys get up to today at school? 1215 00:54:16,669 --> 00:54:17,871 I saw my mom. 1216 00:54:21,940 --> 00:54:23,540 I understand, Nicky, that sometimes 1217 00:54:23,542 --> 00:54:25,478 we think we see people that we miss 1218 00:54:26,411 --> 00:54:27,777 even if they're gone. 1219 00:54:27,779 --> 00:54:29,413 No, I saw her. 1220 00:54:29,415 --> 00:54:30,614 She was right outside the fence 1221 00:54:30,616 --> 00:54:32,451 by the kickball yard at recess. 1222 00:54:34,053 --> 00:54:36,487 Lots of people look like someone else. 1223 00:54:36,489 --> 00:54:37,757 Nobody looks like Mom! 1224 00:54:39,292 --> 00:54:40,652 She told me to say hi to Stephanie. 1225 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,058 Nicky, 1226 00:54:42,060 --> 00:54:43,661 this is unhealthy. 1227 00:54:43,663 --> 00:54:45,665 Miles saw her, too. Right, Miles? 1228 00:54:46,866 --> 00:54:48,498 I think I did. 1229 00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:49,632 But I don't know. 1230 00:54:49,634 --> 00:54:51,034 I was playing tetherball. 1231 00:54:51,036 --> 00:54:52,870 Did you two hatch this up? 1232 00:54:52,872 --> 00:54:55,071 Is this a game, like when you smash everything with trucks? 1233 00:54:55,073 --> 00:54:56,674 Because you know what we say about lying. 1234 00:54:56,676 --> 00:54:59,310 I'm not lying! I saw her! Fuck you! 1235 00:54:59,312 --> 00:55:00,710 Hey, Nicky! 1236 00:55:00,712 --> 00:55:01,714 Oopsy! 1237 00:55:03,683 --> 00:55:05,318 I'm sorry. 1238 00:55:14,359 --> 00:55:16,560 Don't I get a kiss good night? 1239 00:55:16,562 --> 00:55:18,495 Of course you do, sweetie. 1240 00:55:18,497 --> 00:55:20,431 Actually, you owe the oopsy jar a quarter 1241 00:55:20,433 --> 00:55:21,868 for earlier, but I... 1242 00:55:28,674 --> 00:55:29,676 Good night, sweetie. 1243 00:55:39,118 --> 00:55:40,320 Hey. 1244 00:55:41,553 --> 00:55:43,289 We should get naked. 1245 00:55:45,524 --> 00:55:46,759 What is it? 1246 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:48,891 What's wrong? 1247 00:55:48,893 --> 00:55:52,429 I smell her, Sean. I smell her perfume. 1248 00:55:52,431 --> 00:55:54,765 It's all over Nicky like a ghost. 1249 00:55:54,767 --> 00:55:56,132 He probably got to her perfume bottle 1250 00:55:56,134 --> 00:55:57,835 in the medicine cabinet. 1251 00:55:57,837 --> 00:55:59,670 He misses her. 1252 00:55:59,672 --> 00:56:00,971 Okay? It's just you being paranoid. 1253 00:56:00,973 --> 00:56:03,043 Is it? Because I found this, too. 1254 00:56:04,576 --> 00:56:06,009 What's this? 1255 00:56:06,011 --> 00:56:07,511 It's the friendship bracelet I made her. 1256 00:56:07,513 --> 00:56:09,353 I'm afraid to say she would not have kept this. 1257 00:56:09,881 --> 00:56:12,516 She hated stuff like this. 1258 00:56:12,518 --> 00:56:13,683 She probably gave it to him 1259 00:56:13,685 --> 00:56:15,118 right after you gave it to her. 1260 00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,120 Unless he's telling the truth. 1261 00:56:17,122 --> 00:56:19,558 You saw her with your own eyes. 1262 00:56:20,158 --> 00:56:21,692 In her coffin. 1263 00:56:21,694 --> 00:56:23,092 There was something off. 1264 00:56:23,094 --> 00:56:25,161 They found her at the bottom of a lake! 1265 00:56:25,163 --> 00:56:26,696 You saw her tattoo, 1266 00:56:26,698 --> 00:56:28,901 and you saw that ring that she stole from my mother. 1267 00:56:30,703 --> 00:56:33,103 She said your mother wanted her to have that ring. 1268 00:56:33,105 --> 00:56:34,538 She said your mother insisted. 1269 00:56:34,540 --> 00:56:36,906 That's what she told you? 1270 00:56:36,908 --> 00:56:39,076 My father gave that ring to my mother. 1271 00:56:39,078 --> 00:56:40,444 It was like the only bit of jewelry 1272 00:56:40,446 --> 00:56:41,712 that she ever owned. 1273 00:56:41,714 --> 00:56:43,647 I took Emily to London to meet my mother 1274 00:56:43,649 --> 00:56:44,882 after we eloped. 1275 00:56:44,884 --> 00:56:47,551 It went missing that weekend. 1276 00:56:47,553 --> 00:56:50,620 My mother was frantic. We searched everywhere. 1277 00:56:50,622 --> 00:56:52,142 Nothing. We didn't find a single thing. 1278 00:56:53,526 --> 00:56:55,458 My mother was devastated. 1279 00:56:55,460 --> 00:56:56,930 So we took a flight back to New York. 1280 00:56:58,163 --> 00:56:59,665 Guess what I found. 1281 00:57:00,498 --> 00:57:01,901 What did you find? 1282 00:57:02,835 --> 00:57:04,134 No! 1283 00:57:04,136 --> 00:57:05,868 No way! 1284 00:57:05,870 --> 00:57:08,471 My little Sherlock Holmes. 1285 00:57:08,473 --> 00:57:10,207 Mum is gonna be so relieved. 1286 00:57:10,209 --> 00:57:12,109 Oh, come on, baby. 1287 00:57:12,111 --> 00:57:14,848 Mum will take it to the grave. What a waste. 1288 00:57:15,614 --> 00:57:16,846 So pretty. 1289 00:57:16,848 --> 00:57:17,815 Excuse me. 1290 00:57:17,817 --> 00:57:20,650 Not amusing, my darling, not in the slightest. 1291 00:57:20,652 --> 00:57:23,453 I'm not joking in the slightest, 1292 00:57:23,455 --> 00:57:25,221 my darling. 1293 00:57:25,223 --> 00:57:26,223 I took it. 1294 00:57:26,225 --> 00:57:28,591 I don't have any intention of giving it back. 1295 00:57:28,593 --> 00:57:29,792 Of course we're gonna give it back. 1296 00:57:29,794 --> 00:57:31,495 No. 1297 00:57:31,497 --> 00:57:32,830 We'll tell her that it just slipped 1298 00:57:32,832 --> 00:57:34,096 into your purse by accident, 1299 00:57:34,098 --> 00:57:36,632 and we've only found it now. 1300 00:57:36,634 --> 00:57:38,569 But if you tell her that I found it, 1301 00:57:38,571 --> 00:57:40,069 then I have to tell her that I stole it. 1302 00:57:40,071 --> 00:57:42,473 And what do you think will be worse for her? 1303 00:57:42,475 --> 00:57:44,641 Thinking that she lost her ring, 1304 00:57:44,643 --> 00:57:47,478 or thinking that her son married a thief? 1305 00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:48,978 - Baby... - Hey. 1306 00:57:48,980 --> 00:57:51,116 You choose, her or me? 1307 00:57:54,252 --> 00:57:56,152 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1308 00:57:56,154 --> 00:57:57,189 Knock twice. 1309 00:58:23,848 --> 00:58:27,216 Nine months later, Nicky was born. 1310 00:58:27,218 --> 00:58:29,286 How could you stay with her? 1311 00:58:29,288 --> 00:58:31,554 I was spellbound. 1312 00:58:31,556 --> 00:58:32,656 She was the only woman 1313 00:58:32,658 --> 00:58:34,091 I could never figure out fully. 1314 00:58:34,093 --> 00:58:36,225 As a young, arrogant writer, I could never 1315 00:58:36,227 --> 00:58:38,261 live up to what she expected of me. 1316 00:58:38,263 --> 00:58:40,062 I was always looking over my shoulder. 1317 00:58:40,064 --> 00:58:41,500 I could hardly sleep. 1318 00:58:42,902 --> 00:58:44,734 But with you, it's different. 1319 00:58:44,736 --> 00:58:46,169 I sleep like a log. 1320 00:58:46,171 --> 00:58:47,904 That's what every woman wants to hear. 1321 00:58:47,906 --> 00:58:48,971 You know what I mean. 1322 00:58:48,973 --> 00:58:50,742 You understand me, you see me. 1323 00:58:51,643 --> 00:58:53,609 You've rebuilt me, Stephanie. 1324 00:58:53,611 --> 00:58:55,047 I've even started writing again. 1325 00:58:55,881 --> 00:58:57,880 First couple of chapters, 1326 00:58:57,882 --> 00:58:59,085 but it's a start. 1327 00:59:00,919 --> 00:59:01,988 Oh. 1328 00:59:03,288 --> 00:59:05,054 That's wonderful. 1329 00:59:05,056 --> 00:59:06,957 You took a broken man, 1330 00:59:06,959 --> 00:59:09,292 and you pieced him back together again. 1331 00:59:09,294 --> 00:59:11,763 You're unlike any other woman I've ever met. 1332 00:59:13,698 --> 00:59:14,733 Move in with me. 1333 00:59:16,100 --> 00:59:17,067 Sean. 1334 00:59:17,069 --> 00:59:19,803 No, it's too soon. What will people think? 1335 00:59:19,805 --> 00:59:21,103 They're already thinking it. 1336 00:59:21,105 --> 00:59:23,707 And I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of pretending. 1337 00:59:23,709 --> 00:59:24,844 I want to be this man. 1338 00:59:25,578 --> 00:59:26,913 The man I am with you. 1339 00:59:28,147 --> 00:59:30,080 I don't do threesomes. 1340 00:59:30,082 --> 00:59:31,214 I want to say that. 1341 00:59:31,216 --> 00:59:32,683 I'll just get that out in the open. 1342 00:59:32,685 --> 00:59:34,317 What are you talking about? 1343 00:59:34,319 --> 00:59:35,986 Your TA? 1344 00:59:35,988 --> 00:59:39,589 Emily told me about your little moment. 1345 00:59:39,591 --> 00:59:40,891 - That's what she told you? - Yes. 1346 00:59:40,893 --> 00:59:41,958 Stephanie, listen. 1347 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:44,161 Emily was a pathological liar. 1348 00:59:44,163 --> 00:59:46,165 That never happened, okay? 1349 00:59:47,299 --> 00:59:49,199 Why did you take out a $4 million 1350 00:59:49,201 --> 00:59:51,000 insurance policy on her? 1351 00:59:51,002 --> 00:59:53,636 My gosh. Those cops really did a number on you, didn't they? 1352 00:59:53,638 --> 00:59:54,971 I'm being serious. 1353 00:59:54,973 --> 00:59:56,806 It was because of you. 1354 00:59:56,808 --> 00:59:58,275 When Emily found out that you had been 1355 00:59:58,277 --> 01:00:01,078 living off your husband's insurance money, 1356 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,714 she thought she and I needed to get policies 1357 01:00:03,716 --> 01:00:05,181 out for Nicky's sake. 1358 01:00:05,183 --> 01:00:07,263 It's probably the most responsible thing we ever did. 1359 01:00:08,053 --> 01:00:09,255 Thanks to you. 1360 01:00:11,656 --> 01:00:13,056 Move in with me. 1361 01:00:13,058 --> 01:00:15,658 We can start a whole new, wonderful life together. 1362 01:00:15,660 --> 01:00:17,229 Just you, me and the boys. 1363 01:00:18,830 --> 01:00:21,133 Please, say yes. 1364 01:00:23,902 --> 01:00:26,306 I love you, Stephanie Smothers. 1365 01:00:27,806 --> 01:00:30,040 I love you, too. 1366 01:01:47,953 --> 01:01:50,821 Hi, moms. This is Stephanie here. 1367 01:01:50,823 --> 01:01:52,788 I'm gonna do something a little different today. 1368 01:01:52,790 --> 01:01:55,225 I normally avoid any talk of religion on the vlog. 1369 01:01:55,227 --> 01:01:58,261 I don't wanna offend any non-denominational moms. 1370 01:01:58,263 --> 01:02:01,034 But I do think that we live on after we die, so... 1371 01:02:03,234 --> 01:02:04,433 Emily, 1372 01:02:04,435 --> 01:02:07,036 if you are out there, 1373 01:02:07,038 --> 01:02:09,239 and you can hear me right now, 1374 01:02:09,241 --> 01:02:11,408 no one could ever replace you. 1375 01:02:11,410 --> 01:02:14,444 And you'll always be Nicky's mom. 1376 01:02:14,446 --> 01:02:16,879 I can't take your place. 1377 01:02:16,881 --> 01:02:21,051 I can just try to love the people that you love 1378 01:02:21,053 --> 01:02:23,453 and try to make their lives better. 1379 01:02:23,455 --> 01:02:25,190 I think that's what you would want. 1380 01:02:30,129 --> 01:02:32,895 Okay, guys, it's getting too rough back there. 1381 01:02:32,897 --> 01:02:34,765 I murdered you! 1382 01:02:34,767 --> 01:02:37,199 Not me. I came back to life. 1383 01:02:37,201 --> 01:02:38,868 Like your mom! 1384 01:02:38,870 --> 01:02:40,504 Okay, the dolls are going in your backpacks 1385 01:02:40,506 --> 01:02:42,004 or they're going in the trash, I mean it. 1386 01:02:42,006 --> 01:02:45,375 Mom, they're not dolls! God! 1387 01:02:45,377 --> 01:02:48,779 Stephanie, my mom told me to give you this. 1388 01:02:48,781 --> 01:02:50,781 Mom! 1389 01:02:57,922 --> 01:02:59,491 Damn! Are you trying to kill us? 1390 01:03:19,310 --> 01:03:20,409 Hello? 1391 01:03:20,411 --> 01:03:21,377 Hi, I'm calling from 1392 01:03:21,379 --> 01:03:23,078 United Timeshare International. 1393 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,380 Yep, I... 1394 01:03:24,382 --> 01:03:26,216 We'd like to offer you a free trip to the Bahamas. 1395 01:03:26,218 --> 01:03:27,817 All you have to do is come down to one of... 1396 01:03:27,819 --> 01:03:29,886 I don't want that, have a nice day. 1397 01:03:29,888 --> 01:03:31,190 I don't want that, I don't care. 1398 01:03:31,924 --> 01:03:33,759 Oh, my God! 1399 01:03:37,529 --> 01:03:38,962 Hi, I'm sure you have a job to do. 1400 01:03:38,964 --> 01:03:40,029 I don't need a free trip. 1401 01:03:40,031 --> 01:03:41,033 Hi. 1402 01:03:44,069 --> 01:03:45,271 Brotherfucker. 1403 01:03:48,239 --> 01:03:50,841 - Emily? - No, no, Emily's dead. 1404 01:03:50,843 --> 01:03:53,342 Oh, no, have you forgotten already? 1405 01:03:53,344 --> 01:03:55,145 - Where are you? - I'm in heaven. 1406 01:03:55,147 --> 01:03:57,313 Watching over you. 1407 01:03:57,315 --> 01:03:58,785 Nice blouse, by the way. 1408 01:04:01,185 --> 01:04:03,053 Why are you doing this? 1409 01:04:03,055 --> 01:04:04,620 How do you know it's just me doing it? 1410 01:04:04,622 --> 01:04:06,992 Hey, hey, hey, kiss Sean for me, 1411 01:04:07,526 --> 01:04:09,060 four million times. 1412 01:04:14,899 --> 01:04:15,799 Oh, hey. 1413 01:04:15,801 --> 01:04:17,933 Are you trying to Diabolique me? 1414 01:04:17,935 --> 01:04:19,169 What are you talking about? 1415 01:04:19,171 --> 01:04:20,036 Diabolique, you know? 1416 01:04:20,038 --> 01:04:23,172 The French movie about the guy whose wife 1417 01:04:23,174 --> 01:04:24,875 and mistress, they're trying to kill him. 1418 01:04:24,877 --> 01:04:26,109 But I don't have a $4 million 1419 01:04:26,111 --> 01:04:27,476 - insurance policy. - Stephanie... 1420 01:04:27,478 --> 01:04:30,179 If you and Emily are in some kind of plan, please just call it off... 1421 01:04:30,181 --> 01:04:32,114 - Stephanie. - I'm really not the one. 1422 01:04:32,116 --> 01:04:33,650 Just breathe, please. 1423 01:04:33,652 --> 01:04:36,219 Nicky's getting to you. Emily is dead. 1424 01:04:36,221 --> 01:04:37,456 She called me. 1425 01:04:38,290 --> 01:04:39,623 What? 1426 01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:41,091 She called me today. 1427 01:04:41,093 --> 01:04:42,458 I have a friend in the psychology department. 1428 01:04:42,460 --> 01:04:43,525 I'll give him a call. 1429 01:04:43,527 --> 01:04:45,127 Hey, handsome, you got time... 1430 01:04:45,129 --> 01:04:48,297 I am sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. 1431 01:04:48,299 --> 01:04:49,632 Beth, this is Stephanie. 1432 01:04:49,634 --> 01:04:51,333 Nice to meet you. 1433 01:04:51,335 --> 01:04:53,036 Nice to meet you. 1434 01:04:53,038 --> 01:04:55,004 I was just wondering if you needed 1435 01:04:55,006 --> 01:04:57,107 to use the SMART board, 'cause it's broken. 1436 01:04:57,109 --> 01:04:59,078 - I can live without it. - All right. 1437 01:04:59,911 --> 01:05:00,980 All right. 1438 01:05:03,015 --> 01:05:04,179 She seems nice. 1439 01:05:04,181 --> 01:05:06,149 Stephanie, go home. 1440 01:05:06,151 --> 01:05:08,018 Emily had some Xanax in the medicine cabinet. 1441 01:05:08,020 --> 01:05:09,118 Take one. Take two. 1442 01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:11,620 Yeah. Maybe she has some heroin lying around. Hmm? 1443 01:05:11,622 --> 01:05:14,259 This is all just grief. Just stages of grief. 1444 01:05:15,326 --> 01:05:16,692 I'm sorry, you're right. 1445 01:05:16,694 --> 01:05:19,164 I'm so overwhelmed, and I... 1446 01:05:20,198 --> 01:05:21,533 I'm sorry. 1447 01:05:26,504 --> 01:05:29,040 Oh, baby, you just need someone to love you. 1448 01:05:30,475 --> 01:05:34,109 I have you. All you need is a good friend. 1449 01:05:34,111 --> 01:05:35,679 Come on, don't you miss sex? 1450 01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:38,949 Having a man fuck you on top of a washing machine? 1451 01:05:38,951 --> 01:05:41,451 Barely remember what it's like. 1452 01:05:41,453 --> 01:05:42,551 Why are you such a masochist? 1453 01:05:42,553 --> 01:05:44,321 You could have a man in your bed any time you want. 1454 01:05:44,323 --> 01:05:46,355 I had a man, I ruined that, so... 1455 01:05:46,357 --> 01:05:47,556 What does that mean? 1456 01:05:47,558 --> 01:05:49,960 Come on, what does that mean? 1457 01:05:49,962 --> 01:05:52,228 If you can't tell me, you can't tell anyone. 1458 01:05:52,230 --> 01:05:53,232 I'm your best friend. 1459 01:06:13,618 --> 01:06:15,254 Let's go see Daddy. 1460 01:06:19,323 --> 01:06:20,589 I just want the truth. 1461 01:06:20,591 --> 01:06:21,991 What are you talking about? 1462 01:06:21,993 --> 01:06:24,493 About Miles and Chris. 1463 01:06:24,495 --> 01:06:27,196 Chris? My brother, Chris? 1464 01:06:27,198 --> 01:06:29,132 Yeah, your brother. 1465 01:06:29,134 --> 01:06:31,701 And you certainly don't act like it. 1466 01:06:31,703 --> 01:06:34,636 Sometimes it's more like you guys are lovers, right? 1467 01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,375 That's disgusting. That's... 1468 01:06:38,377 --> 01:06:39,612 Is Miles mine or not? 1469 01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:43,612 Oh, my God! 1470 01:06:43,614 --> 01:06:45,647 Are you listening to yourself? 1471 01:06:45,649 --> 01:06:47,216 You sound ridiculous. 1472 01:06:47,218 --> 01:06:48,653 Yeah. 1473 01:06:55,426 --> 01:06:58,228 Davis! Davis! 1474 01:06:58,230 --> 01:07:00,196 Where are you going? 1475 01:07:00,198 --> 01:07:01,663 Where are you going? Davis? 1476 01:07:01,665 --> 01:07:03,033 Steph, it's all right. Don't worry. 1477 01:07:03,035 --> 01:07:04,533 Just gonna go for a drive. 1478 01:07:04,535 --> 01:07:06,036 Have a little talk. Man to man. 1479 01:07:06,038 --> 01:07:07,039 No problem. 1480 01:07:27,725 --> 01:07:29,327 It's my fault. 1481 01:07:31,263 --> 01:07:33,129 I'm the reason they're both dead. 1482 01:07:33,131 --> 01:07:34,763 No. 1483 01:07:34,765 --> 01:07:36,434 Hey, don't do that. 1484 01:07:37,301 --> 01:07:39,234 People do terrible things 1485 01:07:39,236 --> 01:07:40,402 for their own fucked-up reasons. 1486 01:07:40,404 --> 01:07:41,471 That's on them, 1487 01:07:41,473 --> 01:07:42,475 - it's not on you. - Yeah. 1488 01:07:44,776 --> 01:07:46,111 I miss him. 1489 01:07:46,844 --> 01:07:48,214 Which one? 1490 01:07:50,348 --> 01:07:51,450 Both. 1491 01:07:52,716 --> 01:07:54,786 I'm lonely. 1492 01:07:57,388 --> 01:07:59,221 I think loneliness probably kills more people 1493 01:07:59,223 --> 01:08:00,258 than cancer. 1494 01:08:03,294 --> 01:08:05,263 Hey, come here. 1495 01:08:07,431 --> 01:08:08,667 Come here. 1496 01:08:24,648 --> 01:08:27,419 You're okay. Want to order pizza? 1497 01:08:32,357 --> 01:08:35,758 Oh, God. God, I'm so embarrassed. 1498 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:40,696 Oh, because of that? No, hey. It's all good, baby. 1499 01:08:40,698 --> 01:08:42,367 It's all good. Just another Tuesday. 1500 01:09:24,910 --> 01:09:26,312 Go away. 1501 01:09:27,179 --> 01:09:28,647 Diana Hyland? 1502 01:09:29,648 --> 01:09:30,815 Did you paint this? 1503 01:09:43,595 --> 01:09:45,195 Where on Earth did you find it? 1504 01:09:45,197 --> 01:09:48,234 I should start by giving you some unfortunate news. 1505 01:09:49,267 --> 01:09:50,568 Emily's dead. 1506 01:09:51,303 --> 01:09:52,802 My condolences. 1507 01:09:52,804 --> 01:09:54,306 Who the fuck is Emily? 1508 01:09:54,939 --> 01:09:56,341 The girl in the painting. 1509 01:09:59,844 --> 01:10:01,276 Good. 1510 01:10:01,278 --> 01:10:02,579 Her name's not Emily. 1511 01:10:02,581 --> 01:10:03,582 Her name's Claudia. 1512 01:10:04,715 --> 01:10:07,249 Rest in peace, asshole. 1513 01:10:07,251 --> 01:10:09,418 So, not a pleasant memory for you, then? 1514 01:10:09,420 --> 01:10:12,254 No, opposite. She was amazing. 1515 01:10:12,256 --> 01:10:14,990 I mean, she was the best that I ever had. 1516 01:10:14,992 --> 01:10:16,558 I was selling paintings. 1517 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:17,994 You know, it was the first time 1518 01:10:17,996 --> 01:10:19,995 in my career that I had any buzz. 1519 01:10:19,997 --> 01:10:21,897 She walked into my gallery. 1520 01:10:21,899 --> 01:10:24,601 A real fucking muse just right out of thin air. 1521 01:10:24,603 --> 01:10:25,802 What happened? 1522 01:10:25,804 --> 01:10:27,306 She was all I could paint. 1523 01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:31,007 I memorized every inch of her body. 1524 01:10:31,009 --> 01:10:32,674 My dealer fucking hated it. 1525 01:10:32,676 --> 01:10:34,543 And the art critics fucking hated it. 1526 01:10:34,545 --> 01:10:37,879 They called me a knockoff dyke Mapplethorpe. 1527 01:10:37,881 --> 01:10:40,917 Anyway, I blew my whole career painting that con artist. 1528 01:10:40,919 --> 01:10:43,352 Now all I paint are these goddamn knives, 1529 01:10:43,354 --> 01:10:45,655 which are pretty good, but nobody wants to buy this shit. 1530 01:10:45,657 --> 01:10:48,894 Oh, what? They're so good. People are just jealous. 1531 01:10:52,429 --> 01:10:54,563 I haven't had a drink in 42 days. 1532 01:10:54,565 --> 01:10:55,664 Oh, don't... 1533 01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:57,533 Might as well celebrate. 1534 01:10:57,535 --> 01:10:59,738 Mmm, well, cheers. 1535 01:11:02,773 --> 01:11:05,210 I gave her my heart and I gave her my soul. 1536 01:11:06,278 --> 01:11:09,779 I paid for her to go to college. 1537 01:11:09,781 --> 01:11:11,380 I paid off her debts. 1538 01:11:11,382 --> 01:11:13,283 Did you ever see any heroin use? 1539 01:11:13,285 --> 01:11:15,485 No. No way, her? 1540 01:11:15,487 --> 01:11:16,822 No, she didn't touch it. 1541 01:11:17,389 --> 01:11:18,521 Shit. 1542 01:11:18,523 --> 01:11:21,990 She never let me paint her face except for this one. 1543 01:11:21,992 --> 01:11:25,027 I've never seen such a beautiful girl 1544 01:11:25,029 --> 01:11:26,663 wanna be so invisible 1545 01:11:26,665 --> 01:11:28,931 or just completely vanish. 1546 01:11:28,933 --> 01:11:30,466 But you know what, it takes 1547 01:11:30,468 --> 01:11:31,968 money to vanish. 1548 01:11:31,970 --> 01:11:35,407 And so she took everything that she could from me. 1549 01:11:37,608 --> 01:11:38,977 You know how I would paint you? 1550 01:11:41,712 --> 01:11:43,579 Beatific. 1551 01:11:43,581 --> 01:11:44,950 Like a fucking saint. 1552 01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:46,986 I get that a lot. 1553 01:11:48,353 --> 01:11:50,322 You should embrace it. People love saints. 1554 01:11:51,422 --> 01:11:53,524 Yeah. After they're dead. 1555 01:11:55,460 --> 01:11:57,627 Okay. What do you know about her? How did she die? 1556 01:11:57,629 --> 01:11:58,697 In a lake. 1557 01:11:59,797 --> 01:12:00,898 On heroin. 1558 01:12:04,068 --> 01:12:06,602 Well, you don't believe that or you wouldn't be here. 1559 01:12:06,604 --> 01:12:09,341 She didn't ever mention Michigan, did she? 1560 01:12:16,814 --> 01:12:19,716 That is the only thing that she ever left here. 1561 01:12:19,718 --> 01:12:21,886 She said she had it since she was a kid. 1562 01:12:24,822 --> 01:12:25,887 I warn you, 1563 01:12:25,889 --> 01:12:27,856 you go poking around in her past, 1564 01:12:27,858 --> 01:12:30,727 you're gonna find some shit that is terrifying. 1565 01:12:30,729 --> 01:12:33,499 She was not a normal person like you or me. 1566 01:12:34,366 --> 01:12:35,832 Sean, it's Stephanie... 1567 01:12:35,834 --> 01:12:37,633 I thought about what you said. 1568 01:12:37,635 --> 01:12:40,503 You're right. These are just stages of grief. 1569 01:12:40,505 --> 01:12:42,838 This experience has been so stressful for both of us, 1570 01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:44,440 I'm gonna take a couple of days to myself. 1571 01:12:44,442 --> 01:12:45,807 I'll have Sona pick up the boys, 1572 01:12:45,809 --> 01:12:47,075 and they can stay at her house tonight. 1573 01:12:47,077 --> 01:12:49,011 You should take some time, too. 1574 01:12:49,013 --> 01:12:50,445 There's ham stew in the freezer. 1575 01:12:50,447 --> 01:12:51,614 Five minutes in the microwave. 1576 01:12:51,616 --> 01:12:52,618 Lots of love. 1577 01:12:54,853 --> 01:12:56,718 Yeah, we've been saving young souls 1578 01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:58,420 going on 50 years now. 1579 01:12:58,422 --> 01:13:00,056 Not Bobby and me personally. 1580 01:13:00,058 --> 01:13:01,923 Well, it seems just perfect! 1581 01:13:01,925 --> 01:13:03,526 And my son's practically a porpoise, 1582 01:13:03,528 --> 01:13:05,695 so I know he's gonna love swimming in that pond. 1583 01:13:05,697 --> 01:13:06,795 That's Squaw Lake! 1584 01:13:06,797 --> 01:13:09,598 The kids all joke that it's holy water. 1585 01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,033 Any fish you pull out of there 1586 01:13:11,035 --> 01:13:12,602 is guaranteed to feed a multitude. 1587 01:13:12,604 --> 01:13:14,469 Oh! Oh. That's so funny. 1588 01:13:14,471 --> 01:13:15,704 Yeah. 1589 01:13:15,706 --> 01:13:19,441 Um... Have you guys got any old photo albums 1590 01:13:19,443 --> 01:13:21,543 or a yearbook I could look at? 1591 01:13:21,545 --> 01:13:23,044 I always feel like there's no better review 1592 01:13:23,046 --> 01:13:24,946 of a place than the faces of the campers. 1593 01:13:24,948 --> 01:13:27,450 Oh, heck, yeah. We got a ton of 'em down in the basement. 1594 01:13:27,452 --> 01:13:28,787 You'll see nothing but smiles. 1595 01:13:52,544 --> 01:13:53,979 Hope and Faith. 1596 01:13:56,747 --> 01:14:00,615 Hi. I'm looking for the McLanden Foundation. 1597 01:14:00,617 --> 01:14:02,618 Is this Margaret McLanden? 1598 01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:03,820 Who's this? 1599 01:14:03,822 --> 01:14:06,955 Yeah. Hi, there. My name's Maryanne Chelkowsky. 1600 01:14:06,957 --> 01:14:09,525 I'm the director of the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1601 01:14:09,527 --> 01:14:10,560 What do you want? 1602 01:14:10,562 --> 01:14:13,228 Well, we are putting together the 50th anniversary 1603 01:14:13,230 --> 01:14:14,830 edition of our camp gazette. 1604 01:14:14,832 --> 01:14:16,798 We're trying to track down some star alumni. 1605 01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:20,168 Are you any relation to Hope and Faith McLanden? 1606 01:14:20,170 --> 01:14:22,504 - Hello. - Bruce, it's that camp. 1607 01:14:22,506 --> 01:14:24,874 The girls must have done something again and God... 1608 01:14:24,876 --> 01:14:26,142 Girls are long gone, Mrs. M. 1609 01:14:26,144 --> 01:14:27,209 You just go on back to your chair. 1610 01:14:27,211 --> 01:14:28,878 But it's filthy there, Bruce. 1611 01:14:28,880 --> 01:14:29,978 I've asked you a... 1612 01:14:29,980 --> 01:14:31,450 Gotcha. 1613 01:15:14,826 --> 01:15:16,127 Take your time, Bruce. 1614 01:15:38,315 --> 01:15:39,751 Mrs. McLanden? 1615 01:15:41,586 --> 01:15:43,522 Hi, I'm Gloria from the cleaning service. 1616 01:15:43,888 --> 01:15:44,986 Who? 1617 01:15:44,988 --> 01:15:45,887 Didn't Bruce tell you? 1618 01:15:45,889 --> 01:15:47,188 I'm supposed to clean the entire place 1619 01:15:47,190 --> 01:15:48,257 until you could eat 1620 01:15:48,259 --> 01:15:50,191 a four-course meal off the floor. 1621 01:15:50,193 --> 01:15:51,627 Did I get the date... 1622 01:15:51,629 --> 01:15:53,131 Shoot! 1623 01:15:56,568 --> 01:15:58,537 Start in my upstairs bathroom. 1624 01:16:04,309 --> 01:16:06,309 It's not lying if I'm actually cleaning. 1625 01:16:23,995 --> 01:16:25,127 Bruce! 1626 01:16:25,129 --> 01:16:26,532 The fire's dying! 1627 01:16:28,032 --> 01:16:29,201 Bruce! 1628 01:16:43,715 --> 01:16:45,780 I couldn't help noticing that 1629 01:16:45,782 --> 01:16:47,318 lovely picture of your daughters. 1630 01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:51,087 Where's Bruce? 1631 01:16:51,089 --> 01:16:52,320 - Bruce! - Oh, um... 1632 01:16:52,322 --> 01:16:54,625 Bruce had to go out. Um... 1633 01:16:54,992 --> 01:16:56,160 So, 1634 01:16:57,095 --> 01:16:58,393 your daughter, Faith... 1635 01:16:58,395 --> 01:16:59,995 She had some trouble, I gather? 1636 01:16:59,997 --> 01:17:01,163 Troubles! 1637 01:17:02,867 --> 01:17:04,937 Troubles would've been a vacation. 1638 01:17:06,371 --> 01:17:09,271 That child came straight from hell. 1639 01:17:09,273 --> 01:17:12,107 That's a very strong statement for a mother. 1640 01:17:12,109 --> 01:17:13,676 Are you a mother? 1641 01:17:13,678 --> 01:17:17,112 Yes. I love every minute of it. 1642 01:17:17,114 --> 01:17:18,880 Aww. 1643 01:17:18,882 --> 01:17:20,122 Then you must have brain damage. 1644 01:17:20,952 --> 01:17:22,817 It's a thankless business. 1645 01:17:22,819 --> 01:17:25,954 And some children are just born rotten. 1646 01:17:25,956 --> 01:17:29,191 They don't need a parent. They need an exorcist. 1647 01:17:29,193 --> 01:17:31,296 My husband understood that. 1648 01:17:33,764 --> 01:17:35,431 Now, wait. Don't tell Bruce! 1649 01:17:35,433 --> 01:17:37,400 - No. - Bingo! 1650 01:17:37,402 --> 01:17:40,238 It's unseemly, the way that man polices me. 1651 01:17:41,072 --> 01:17:42,437 Would you like some sherry? 1652 01:17:42,439 --> 01:17:44,373 Oh, no, thank you. You're very sweet. 1653 01:17:44,375 --> 01:17:46,676 Wait, that's... 1654 01:17:46,678 --> 01:17:49,411 That's not sherry. That's the gin. 1655 01:17:49,413 --> 01:17:50,745 Where's the sherry? 1656 01:17:50,747 --> 01:17:52,448 Must be behind the Sylvia Plath. 1657 01:17:52,450 --> 01:17:54,118 What ever happened to Faith? 1658 01:17:54,952 --> 01:17:56,317 Oh, everything. Everything. 1659 01:17:56,319 --> 01:17:59,989 We spent so much money on her rehab. 1660 01:17:59,991 --> 01:18:02,290 Hope tried to help take care of her 1661 01:18:02,292 --> 01:18:05,727 and get her off that stuff. 1662 01:18:05,729 --> 01:18:08,897 Of course, Hope's a born liar with terrible posture. 1663 01:18:08,899 --> 01:18:10,231 Uh, Mrs. McLanden? 1664 01:18:10,233 --> 01:18:13,804 Do you know the person in this photograph? 1665 01:18:16,707 --> 01:18:19,275 That's Faith. That's Faith! 1666 01:18:19,277 --> 01:18:21,142 Now, why're you... Did she send you? 1667 01:18:21,144 --> 01:18:23,145 - No, I'm not even sure... - Are you the police? 1668 01:18:23,147 --> 01:18:24,346 No, I'm just ask... 1669 01:18:24,348 --> 01:18:26,082 I have told you people a thousand times. 1670 01:18:26,084 --> 01:18:29,785 My memory is not good anymore. It will not stand up in court. 1671 01:18:29,787 --> 01:18:31,052 The night of that fire, 1672 01:18:31,054 --> 01:18:33,054 my husband and I were estranged. 1673 01:18:33,056 --> 01:18:34,757 We lived in separate wings of the house. 1674 01:18:34,759 --> 01:18:37,493 The fire that burned down the west wing? 1675 01:18:37,495 --> 01:18:39,163 Are you an insurance agent? 1676 01:18:39,996 --> 01:18:41,230 Yes. 1677 01:18:41,232 --> 01:18:42,932 Oh! 1678 01:18:42,934 --> 01:18:45,935 Oh, good! Oh, good, good. 1679 01:18:45,937 --> 01:18:47,168 Oh, Bruce and I have been waiting 1680 01:18:47,170 --> 01:18:48,737 for the insurance money. 1681 01:18:48,739 --> 01:18:52,208 Of course, you assholes had that clause about arson. 1682 01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:54,477 - Arson. Yeah. - Vultures. 1683 01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:56,411 Here's to being house poor! 1684 01:18:56,413 --> 01:18:58,748 You ain't supposed to be drinking, Mrs. M. 1685 01:18:58,750 --> 01:19:00,015 - Who are you? - Well, uh... 1686 01:19:00,017 --> 01:19:03,017 Thank you so much for your time, Mrs. McLanden. 1687 01:19:03,019 --> 01:19:05,521 I will get you that faux Givenchy suit in ivory 1688 01:19:05,523 --> 01:19:07,890 and the scarf in taupe. 1689 01:19:07,892 --> 01:19:10,392 I will put a rush on it! Thank you for your order! 1690 01:19:10,394 --> 01:19:12,197 Shit. Okay. 1691 01:19:49,233 --> 01:19:50,836 Where do you think you're going? 1692 01:19:51,536 --> 01:19:52,834 Uh... 1693 01:19:52,836 --> 01:19:55,139 I wanted to order the navy blazer. 1694 01:19:56,206 --> 01:19:57,808 Extra large. 1695 01:19:58,341 --> 01:19:59,344 Great. 1696 01:20:05,183 --> 01:20:06,347 Hello. 1697 01:20:06,349 --> 01:20:07,816 What do you want, cupcake? 1698 01:20:07,818 --> 01:20:10,119 I'm looking for all the Wayne County 1699 01:20:10,121 --> 01:20:11,219 arson-related news items 1700 01:20:11,221 --> 01:20:12,456 for the last 20 years. 1701 01:20:22,099 --> 01:20:24,165 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 1702 01:20:24,167 --> 01:20:26,502 I'm coming to you from Michigan. 1703 01:20:26,504 --> 01:20:29,073 Special on-the-road edition. 1704 01:20:31,209 --> 01:20:32,908 As many of you know, 1705 01:20:32,910 --> 01:20:34,410 I was struggling to find closure 1706 01:20:34,412 --> 01:20:36,579 surrounding the death of my best friend. 1707 01:20:36,581 --> 01:20:39,315 So I drove up to the lake where she drowned 1708 01:20:39,317 --> 01:20:43,218 to see if I could dredge something up. 1709 01:20:43,220 --> 01:20:44,619 Oh, shit. 1710 01:20:44,621 --> 01:20:45,487 Well, it turns out 1711 01:20:45,489 --> 01:20:48,057 this is the site of many a canoe race 1712 01:20:48,059 --> 01:20:49,991 at the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1713 01:20:49,993 --> 01:20:52,360 I had to dig through a bunch of camp journals, 1714 01:20:52,362 --> 01:20:56,164 and I found a photo of Emily, 1715 01:20:56,166 --> 01:20:58,467 whose middle name is Claudia. 1716 01:20:58,469 --> 01:20:59,935 Not pretty I didn't know that. 1717 01:20:59,937 --> 01:21:03,338 You crazy fucking bitch. 1718 01:21:03,340 --> 01:21:05,540 It's like looking at an angel, isn't it, moms? 1719 01:21:05,542 --> 01:21:07,308 Brotherfucker. 1720 01:21:07,310 --> 01:21:09,344 And it gave me the closure I needed. 1721 01:21:09,346 --> 01:21:11,614 I feel closer to Emily than I've ever felt. 1722 01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,548 Almost like a twin. 1723 01:21:13,550 --> 01:21:15,319 Emily, wherever you are, 1724 01:21:17,153 --> 01:21:19,825 I hope that you're listening. 1725 01:21:20,957 --> 01:21:22,426 And you gotta have faith. 1726 01:21:24,127 --> 01:21:26,564 Brotherfucker! 1727 01:21:36,674 --> 01:21:38,374 ♪ Things that we need 1728 01:21:38,376 --> 01:21:39,975 ♪ Money, clothes, Weed, indeed 1729 01:21:39,977 --> 01:21:42,244 ♪ Hats, food, booze Essentials, credentials 1730 01:21:42,246 --> 01:21:44,612 ♪ Code of the streets Owners who creep 1731 01:21:44,614 --> 01:21:47,048 ♪ Slow when you sleep Holdin' the heat 1732 01:21:47,050 --> 01:21:49,384 ♪ Put holes in your jeep Respect the streets 1733 01:21:49,386 --> 01:21:52,857 ♪ It's the L-I-L-F-A-M-E ♪ 1734 01:21:53,556 --> 01:21:55,557 Mom's home! 1735 01:21:55,559 --> 01:21:57,459 Oh, Smoochie-smooch? 1736 01:21:57,461 --> 01:21:58,393 Oh, my goodness! 1737 01:21:58,395 --> 01:22:00,232 Smooch, I missed you so much! 1738 01:22:00,931 --> 01:22:01,897 Where were you? 1739 01:22:01,899 --> 01:22:04,365 And why did we have to sleep at Hector's house? 1740 01:22:04,367 --> 01:22:05,601 He pees the bed! 1741 01:22:05,603 --> 01:22:07,602 Oh! Hector's the worst! 1742 01:22:07,604 --> 01:22:09,124 They could've stayed with me, you know. 1743 01:22:10,675 --> 01:22:12,540 I thought we all needed a breather. 1744 01:22:12,542 --> 01:22:14,211 Now I feel like a million bucks. 1745 01:22:14,612 --> 01:22:16,047 Maybe even four. 1746 01:22:19,250 --> 01:22:21,150 Hi, my name's Beth. 1747 01:22:21,152 --> 01:22:23,218 I'm calling on behalf of my boss, Sean Townsend, 1748 01:22:23,220 --> 01:22:25,286 about his wife, Emily Nelson's policy. 1749 01:22:25,288 --> 01:22:31,160 The number is CT7602258001. 1750 01:22:31,162 --> 01:22:32,227 Can you tell me the name of the agent 1751 01:22:32,229 --> 01:22:33,427 who handles that account, please? 1752 01:22:33,429 --> 01:22:35,563 Dear Miss Prager, my name is Bruce Hargrave. 1753 01:22:35,565 --> 01:22:37,298 I'm writing to you about a case you're handling 1754 01:22:37,300 --> 01:22:39,368 for Emily Nelson, recently deceased. 1755 01:22:39,370 --> 01:22:40,436 I have been the caretaker 1756 01:22:40,438 --> 01:22:42,303 of her family estate for many years. 1757 01:22:42,305 --> 01:22:43,571 What I have to say will sound crazy, 1758 01:22:43,573 --> 01:22:45,740 but years ago, my employer died in a house fire. 1759 01:22:45,742 --> 01:22:47,575 His teen daughters, Hope and Faith McLanden, 1760 01:22:47,577 --> 01:22:49,110 disappeared without a trace. 1761 01:22:49,112 --> 01:22:50,212 I'm attaching an old photo. 1762 01:22:50,214 --> 01:22:51,612 Hi, this is Sean Townsend. 1763 01:22:51,614 --> 01:22:53,214 I was meant to meet Billy Kent for lunch. 1764 01:22:54,719 --> 01:22:56,250 What do you mean? 1765 01:22:56,252 --> 01:22:58,489 You guys called two days ago to organize this. 1766 01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:04,426 No, never mind. 1767 01:23:04,428 --> 01:23:05,563 I'll call him back. 1768 01:23:06,363 --> 01:23:07,364 Boo. 1769 01:23:13,037 --> 01:23:14,268 Oh, come on, you dumb shit. 1770 01:23:14,270 --> 01:23:15,404 We've spent every anniversary here. 1771 01:23:15,406 --> 01:23:16,726 How could you not put it together? 1772 01:23:17,241 --> 01:23:18,707 Emily, why? 1773 01:23:18,709 --> 01:23:20,441 I have four million reasons why. 1774 01:23:20,443 --> 01:23:22,276 How could you do this to Nicky? 1775 01:23:22,278 --> 01:23:23,579 I did this for Nicky. 1776 01:23:23,581 --> 01:23:25,780 I hated that job. I never got to see him. 1777 01:23:25,782 --> 01:23:27,516 It's not like we could live off your faculty buffet 1778 01:23:27,518 --> 01:23:29,551 the rest of our lives, could we? 1779 01:23:29,553 --> 01:23:31,320 I grieved your death. 1780 01:23:31,322 --> 01:23:33,321 I understand. 1781 01:23:33,323 --> 01:23:35,223 You're not alone. They say that 1782 01:23:35,225 --> 01:23:37,392 90% of people who lose their spouse 1783 01:23:37,394 --> 01:23:39,494 end up sleeping with their spouse's best friend 1784 01:23:39,496 --> 01:23:41,096 after their funeral, actually. 1785 01:23:41,098 --> 01:23:42,063 Really? 1786 01:23:42,065 --> 01:23:45,401 No, I just made that up, you fucking dick. 1787 01:23:45,403 --> 01:23:47,035 That's how you grieve? 1788 01:23:47,037 --> 01:23:48,736 Balls deep in my best friend? 1789 01:23:48,738 --> 01:23:49,771 You could've told me something. 1790 01:23:49,773 --> 01:23:52,074 Except you can't keep a secret, even in the dark. 1791 01:23:52,076 --> 01:23:54,412 - Anything. - You almost ruined everything. 1792 01:23:56,380 --> 01:23:58,079 I had to lay low until the insurance money 1793 01:23:58,081 --> 01:23:59,015 came through. 1794 01:23:59,017 --> 01:24:01,784 And so why didn't you stay low? Hmm? 1795 01:24:01,786 --> 01:24:04,186 Instead, you terrorized our son. 1796 01:24:04,188 --> 01:24:05,154 I didn't terrorize him. 1797 01:24:05,156 --> 01:24:06,554 You made me think that he had gone insane 1798 01:24:06,556 --> 01:24:08,423 as well as Stephanie. 1799 01:24:08,425 --> 01:24:10,325 I missed him too much. 1800 01:24:10,327 --> 01:24:11,596 He's my little dude. 1801 01:24:12,696 --> 01:24:14,265 You know how much I love that kid. 1802 01:24:16,500 --> 01:24:18,133 Well, the clock is ticking now. 1803 01:24:18,135 --> 01:24:20,334 Nancy Drew knows too much. 1804 01:24:20,336 --> 01:24:22,303 If she fucks up my insurance money coming through, 1805 01:24:22,305 --> 01:24:23,771 I'm taking you down with me. 1806 01:24:23,773 --> 01:24:25,374 You're taking me down with you? 1807 01:24:25,376 --> 01:24:26,808 Well, of course, this was all your plan. 1808 01:24:26,810 --> 01:24:28,243 My plan? 1809 01:24:28,245 --> 01:24:29,610 I had nothing to do with it... 1810 01:24:29,612 --> 01:24:30,812 Why are you playing dumb now? 1811 01:24:30,814 --> 01:24:32,481 ...you twisted fucking psycho. 1812 01:24:32,483 --> 01:24:33,923 I don't know where... 1813 01:24:36,487 --> 01:24:38,567 What were you saying about me being a fucking psycho? 1814 01:24:39,657 --> 01:24:41,222 Do you love her? 1815 01:24:41,224 --> 01:24:43,392 No. It was just sex. 1816 01:24:43,394 --> 01:24:46,164 Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 1817 01:24:46,429 --> 01:24:47,431 Yes. 1818 01:24:50,267 --> 01:24:51,866 Do you love me or not, baby? 1819 01:24:51,868 --> 01:24:53,569 Of course I do. 1820 01:24:53,571 --> 01:24:55,337 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 1821 01:24:55,339 --> 01:24:56,571 Good. 1822 01:24:58,675 --> 01:25:00,508 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 1823 01:25:00,510 --> 01:25:01,709 I forgot to load it. 1824 01:25:01,711 --> 01:25:03,378 Fuck. Oh, God. 1825 01:25:03,380 --> 01:25:05,481 Can you imagine if I would've, though? 1826 01:25:05,483 --> 01:25:06,647 What a mess. 1827 01:25:06,649 --> 01:25:08,484 Emily, you're crazy. 1828 01:25:08,486 --> 01:25:10,819 Hey, it's pretty simple. You know? 1829 01:25:10,821 --> 01:25:12,724 It's your choice. Her or me? 1830 01:25:13,590 --> 01:25:14,792 It's not that hard. 1831 01:25:16,727 --> 01:25:17,729 Hey. 1832 01:25:18,295 --> 01:25:19,628 Stop it. 1833 01:25:19,630 --> 01:25:21,762 You love this. 1834 01:25:21,764 --> 01:25:24,134 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1835 01:25:26,136 --> 01:25:27,404 Knock twice. 1836 01:25:41,184 --> 01:25:42,250 There he is now. 1837 01:25:42,252 --> 01:25:45,620 Mr. Townsend, Isabel Prager, Addison First Insurance. 1838 01:25:45,622 --> 01:25:47,321 I'm investigating the death benefit claim 1839 01:25:47,323 --> 01:25:48,593 for your late wife. 1840 01:25:52,196 --> 01:25:53,198 Sean, 1841 01:25:54,398 --> 01:25:56,301 did you know that Emily had a twin? 1842 01:25:58,935 --> 01:26:00,468 No, but... 1843 01:26:00,470 --> 01:26:02,271 Well, I hate to even say this, 1844 01:26:02,273 --> 01:26:03,739 but it means the body in the lake 1845 01:26:03,741 --> 01:26:05,673 could be this sister. 1846 01:26:05,675 --> 01:26:07,375 It could explain the DNA match. 1847 01:26:07,377 --> 01:26:08,477 And if that's the case, 1848 01:26:08,479 --> 01:26:10,715 then where is Emily? 1849 01:26:15,318 --> 01:26:17,953 If my wife was still alive, she'd come home. 1850 01:26:17,955 --> 01:26:19,157 She'd wanna see her son. 1851 01:26:21,692 --> 01:26:22,958 I'm not a cop, 1852 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:24,793 and I'm definitely no therapist, 1853 01:26:24,795 --> 01:26:27,295 I'm just an insurance guy. 1854 01:26:27,297 --> 01:26:30,332 But this is an incredibly interesting case. 1855 01:26:30,334 --> 01:26:32,567 This is just bananas, isn't it? 1856 01:26:32,569 --> 01:26:34,402 - Yeah. - I will say, 1857 01:26:34,404 --> 01:26:35,803 it's unusual 1858 01:26:35,805 --> 01:26:37,606 to live with someone as husband and wife 1859 01:26:37,608 --> 01:26:38,874 and not know that they have a twin. 1860 01:26:38,876 --> 01:26:40,842 She was a very private person. 1861 01:26:40,844 --> 01:26:43,945 Well, hey, we all have our secrets. 1862 01:26:46,282 --> 01:26:47,749 But, as I'm sure you can understand, 1863 01:26:47,751 --> 01:26:49,284 with a payment of this size, 1864 01:26:49,286 --> 01:26:51,352 we'll have to continue this claims investigation. 1865 01:26:51,354 --> 01:26:52,454 Of course. 1866 01:26:52,456 --> 01:26:54,556 And, by law, give all our findings 1867 01:26:54,558 --> 01:26:55,757 to the authorities. 1868 01:26:55,759 --> 01:26:57,526 Of course, anything you need. 1869 01:26:57,528 --> 01:26:59,660 I just hope that my wife is still alive. 1870 01:26:59,662 --> 01:27:00,665 I want her back. 1871 01:27:04,835 --> 01:27:06,468 Okey-dokey, then. 1872 01:27:06,470 --> 01:27:08,469 Obviously, if you do hear from her... 1873 01:27:08,471 --> 01:27:10,239 - You'll be the first to know. - Thank you so much! 1874 01:27:10,241 --> 01:27:12,277 Okay, thank you. Thanks for the coffee. 1875 01:27:13,711 --> 01:27:14,810 Bye-bye. 1876 01:27:14,812 --> 01:27:16,212 - Thank you so much again. - Thanks. 1877 01:27:17,413 --> 01:27:18,780 You knew that she had a twin. 1878 01:27:18,782 --> 01:27:19,981 Did I? 1879 01:27:19,983 --> 01:27:21,717 Why didn't you? 1880 01:27:21,719 --> 01:27:22,985 You knew and you didn't tell me. 1881 01:27:22,987 --> 01:27:24,189 Sean, 1882 01:27:24,955 --> 01:27:26,457 you sound crazy. 1883 01:27:27,890 --> 01:27:29,227 Take a Xanax. 1884 01:27:29,792 --> 01:27:31,692 Take two. 1885 01:27:31,694 --> 01:27:33,561 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 1886 01:27:33,563 --> 01:27:35,998 Today, we're talking about tombstone tributes. 1887 01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:37,598 I want to thank Helen from Missoula, Montana, 1888 01:27:37,600 --> 01:27:38,734 for the suggestions. 1889 01:27:38,736 --> 01:27:40,901 For thinking outside the box. 1890 01:27:40,903 --> 01:27:44,505 You know, it doesn't have to just be flowers anymore. 1891 01:27:44,507 --> 01:27:49,910 I think any item that sparks a fond memory is perfect. 1892 01:27:49,912 --> 01:27:52,580 Emily's favorite treat was a dry gin martini 1893 01:27:52,582 --> 01:27:53,848 in the late afternoon. 1894 01:27:53,850 --> 01:27:56,852 I'm gonna make a couple just like Emily used to. 1895 01:27:56,854 --> 01:27:59,487 Frozen gin, frozen glass, 1896 01:27:59,489 --> 01:28:01,390 generous twist. 1897 01:28:01,392 --> 01:28:03,327 I'm gonna head out there a little later today. 1898 01:28:04,428 --> 01:28:05,897 Have a toast on her grave. 1899 01:28:10,533 --> 01:28:12,437 Nice, big twist. I taught you well. 1900 01:28:13,336 --> 01:28:14,772 Student's become the master. 1901 01:28:15,438 --> 01:28:17,474 Ooh, wisdom. 1902 01:28:18,809 --> 01:28:20,741 Hey, give me that. 1903 01:28:20,743 --> 01:28:22,311 I don't know what tricks you have 1904 01:28:22,313 --> 01:28:24,413 up those new sleeves of yours. 1905 01:28:24,415 --> 01:28:26,048 You think I poisoned both drinks? 1906 01:28:26,050 --> 01:28:27,385 That's not my style. 1907 01:28:27,951 --> 01:28:29,654 I don't even eat gluten. 1908 01:28:32,790 --> 01:28:34,392 - Want another? - Please. 1909 01:28:35,893 --> 01:28:37,058 First, tell me why 1910 01:28:37,060 --> 01:28:38,727 you killed your father and sister. 1911 01:28:38,729 --> 01:28:40,329 Okay, why don't we first talk about 1912 01:28:40,331 --> 01:28:41,696 your son's real father? 1913 01:28:41,698 --> 01:28:44,499 Oh! Emily, I hold all the cards here. 1914 01:28:44,501 --> 01:28:45,967 I wanna know about your twin, Faith. 1915 01:28:45,969 --> 01:28:47,102 I'm not a twin. 1916 01:28:47,104 --> 01:28:48,936 Great, I know that you are. 1917 01:28:48,938 --> 01:28:50,605 We were triplets. 1918 01:28:50,607 --> 01:28:52,874 Faith, Hope, and Charity. Charity was stillborn. 1919 01:28:52,876 --> 01:28:53,975 Mom thought we offed her 1920 01:28:53,977 --> 01:28:55,043 - in the womb. - Hmm. 1921 01:28:55,045 --> 01:28:56,977 Dad believed her. 1922 01:28:56,979 --> 01:28:58,882 She's quite a woman, your mother. 1923 01:29:00,017 --> 01:29:01,650 I had a nice afternoon with Mags. 1924 01:29:01,652 --> 01:29:03,517 You met my mother? 1925 01:29:03,519 --> 01:29:05,619 She likes her martinis even stronger than yours. 1926 01:29:05,621 --> 01:29:08,356 We had a little walk down memory lane. 1927 01:29:08,358 --> 01:29:10,092 She's a cold woman, Em. 1928 01:29:10,094 --> 01:29:12,994 Bet you couldn't do anything right in her eyes. 1929 01:29:12,996 --> 01:29:15,364 It was probably Faith's idea to set the fire. 1930 01:29:15,366 --> 01:29:17,031 But then, all the bad ideas were Faith's, weren't they? 1931 01:29:17,033 --> 01:29:19,066 - You don't know anything. - Sure I do. 1932 01:29:19,068 --> 01:29:20,701 And I get it. 1933 01:29:20,703 --> 01:29:22,570 You're 16. 1934 01:29:22,572 --> 01:29:25,075 It's that age where you feel so trapped. 1935 01:29:26,676 --> 01:29:29,413 Then, if your mother always had the biting comment... 1936 01:29:35,752 --> 01:29:37,785 - Faith, it's over. Let's go! - Dad! Dad! 1937 01:29:37,787 --> 01:29:40,021 - Dad! Don't touch me! - It's not my fault! 1938 01:29:40,023 --> 01:29:42,124 ...I'm guessing your father was more direct. 1939 01:29:42,126 --> 01:29:44,058 MR. McLANDEN: Whore! 1940 01:29:44,060 --> 01:29:46,128 - Never again! - Stop! 1941 01:29:46,130 --> 01:29:48,900 That's when you and Faith learned to hit the reset button, right? 1942 01:29:50,768 --> 01:29:51,900 Burn, baby, burn. 1943 01:30:00,510 --> 01:30:01,743 Why'd you leave each other? 1944 01:30:01,745 --> 01:30:04,812 Well, we couldn't stay together after the fire. 1945 01:30:04,814 --> 01:30:06,847 The cops were looking for the big blonde arson twins. 1946 01:30:06,849 --> 01:30:08,553 We were a walking sideshow. 1947 01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:11,986 Fuck off! 1948 01:30:11,988 --> 01:30:14,655 We had to say goodbye, so we did it with tattoos. 1949 01:30:14,657 --> 01:30:17,594 Flames, and a little something for Charity. 1950 01:30:22,765 --> 01:30:24,533 We split up in Corpus Christi. 1951 01:30:24,535 --> 01:30:25,667 She was gonna head south to Mexico, 1952 01:30:25,669 --> 01:30:27,636 I was gonna go north. 1953 01:30:27,638 --> 01:30:28,803 We set a time and place to meet 1954 01:30:28,805 --> 01:30:30,607 after the smoke cleared. 1955 01:30:31,707 --> 01:30:34,209 But then, she never showed up. 1956 01:30:34,211 --> 01:30:36,647 I was worried sick. I waited for days. 1957 01:30:37,447 --> 01:30:38,946 But nothing. 1958 01:30:38,948 --> 01:30:40,515 I thought maybe this is my opportunity 1959 01:30:40,517 --> 01:30:41,650 to do it on my own. 1960 01:30:41,652 --> 01:30:42,950 She was always getting me into trouble. 1961 01:30:42,952 --> 01:30:44,119 So I bought a one-way ticket to New York 1962 01:30:44,121 --> 01:30:45,520 and never looked back. 1963 01:30:45,522 --> 01:30:46,620 Did you miss her? 1964 01:30:46,622 --> 01:30:47,688 Of course I missed her. 1965 01:30:47,690 --> 01:30:49,191 I wasn't whole without her. 1966 01:30:49,193 --> 01:30:51,092 But I couldn't go on like that, I had to survive. 1967 01:30:51,094 --> 01:30:51,993 And it worked. 1968 01:30:51,995 --> 01:30:54,128 Yeah, my life in New York fell into place. 1969 01:30:54,130 --> 01:30:56,964 I got a job, worked my way up. 1970 01:30:56,966 --> 01:30:58,702 I met the perfect man. 1971 01:30:59,670 --> 01:31:01,535 Oh, you know that part, though. 1972 01:31:01,537 --> 01:31:02,971 Then your sister calls. 1973 01:31:02,973 --> 01:31:04,205 Fucking Facebook. 1974 01:31:04,207 --> 01:31:06,540 - You had to see her. - Yeah, of course I did. 1975 01:31:06,542 --> 01:31:09,744 So you fabricate this trip to Miami, 1976 01:31:09,746 --> 01:31:11,045 meet up at the old camp. 1977 01:31:11,047 --> 01:31:12,950 Camp bunk four, it was our happy place. 1978 01:31:15,586 --> 01:31:18,022 It was the only place we could escape our dad, really. 1979 01:31:26,729 --> 01:31:28,230 Must've been shocking 1980 01:31:28,232 --> 01:31:30,001 to see her after all those years. 1981 01:31:31,768 --> 01:31:34,636 Yeah, it was like looking in the mirror. 1982 01:31:34,638 --> 01:31:37,137 Except at the sick life she chose over me. 1983 01:31:37,139 --> 01:31:38,740 What did she want? 1984 01:31:38,742 --> 01:31:39,744 Everything. 1985 01:31:42,045 --> 01:31:43,645 Just gonna stand there? 1986 01:31:44,747 --> 01:31:46,181 You gotta have Faith. 1987 01:31:46,183 --> 01:31:48,583 I don't hear from you for 14 years, 1988 01:31:48,585 --> 01:31:50,285 and now, here you are? 1989 01:31:50,287 --> 01:31:51,753 I'm out of cash. 1990 01:31:51,755 --> 01:31:52,757 Shocking. 1991 01:31:54,090 --> 01:31:55,759 The fuck did you say? 1992 01:31:58,662 --> 01:31:59,727 Nothing. 1993 01:31:59,729 --> 01:32:01,663 Get away with it this time. 1994 01:32:01,665 --> 01:32:03,130 Okay, so, um... 1995 01:32:03,132 --> 01:32:04,699 - Now what? - I don't know. 1996 01:32:04,701 --> 01:32:05,967 I didn't know where to go. 1997 01:32:05,969 --> 01:32:07,968 When I call, you act like a stranger. 1998 01:32:07,970 --> 01:32:09,838 Won't even let me come meet your family. 1999 01:32:09,840 --> 01:32:11,705 What am I supposed to say to them? 2000 01:32:11,707 --> 01:32:12,710 The truth? 2001 01:32:13,309 --> 01:32:15,576 Well, you may as well now 2002 01:32:15,578 --> 01:32:17,678 because I'm about to tell the cops. 2003 01:32:17,680 --> 01:32:18,780 You're what? 2004 01:32:18,782 --> 01:32:21,182 I don't know what else to do. 2005 01:32:21,184 --> 01:32:22,816 I don't have anything, 2006 01:32:22,818 --> 01:32:24,953 so I don't really have anything to lose. 2007 01:32:24,955 --> 01:32:26,820 I'm gonna go tell them everything we did. 2008 01:32:26,822 --> 01:32:28,690 And then we'll go down together. 2009 01:32:28,692 --> 01:32:29,824 We can be together again. 2010 01:32:29,826 --> 01:32:31,625 I have a little boy now. 2011 01:32:31,627 --> 01:32:34,262 Yeah, I know. I saw that kid. He's super cute. 2012 01:32:34,264 --> 01:32:35,797 Cut the shit, okay? 2013 01:32:35,799 --> 01:32:37,201 What do you want from me? 2014 01:32:39,269 --> 01:32:40,634 I want a million bucks. 2015 01:32:40,636 --> 01:32:41,902 How am I supposed to give you that? 2016 01:32:41,904 --> 01:32:43,137 You're rich and famous now. 2017 01:32:43,139 --> 01:32:44,908 I can't give you a million dollars. 2018 01:32:46,175 --> 01:32:47,741 You do seem highly motivated. 2019 01:32:47,743 --> 01:32:49,643 I don't know what it is, though. 2020 01:32:49,645 --> 01:32:50,811 It's your job, 2021 01:32:50,813 --> 01:32:52,746 probably your kid. 2022 01:32:52,748 --> 01:32:54,716 Don't talk about Nicky. 2023 01:32:54,718 --> 01:32:57,185 Yeah, I'll, um... 2024 01:32:57,187 --> 01:33:00,655 I'll sell the house. I'll do whatever I need to do. 2025 01:33:00,657 --> 01:33:02,057 If I do this, you can't tell anyone ever. 2026 01:33:02,059 --> 01:33:03,060 Do you understand? 2027 01:33:03,827 --> 01:33:05,759 Yeah, I get it. 2028 01:33:05,761 --> 01:33:07,795 I mean, I don't really get the big deal about kids. 2029 01:33:07,797 --> 01:33:10,231 You could always just make another kid. 2030 01:33:10,233 --> 01:33:12,601 You know that, right? 2031 01:33:12,603 --> 01:33:14,083 You can't make another sister, though. 2032 01:33:15,805 --> 01:33:17,638 It's fucking hot. 2033 01:33:17,640 --> 01:33:19,774 Come on, let's go swimming. 2034 01:33:19,776 --> 01:33:21,546 Remember? Like we used to. 2035 01:33:22,813 --> 01:33:24,745 - You coming? - Yeah. 2036 01:33:24,747 --> 01:33:25,982 Right behind you. 2037 01:33:36,893 --> 01:33:38,159 How'd you get her in the lake? 2038 01:33:38,161 --> 01:33:39,828 Fuck you. I didn't kill my sister. 2039 01:33:39,830 --> 01:33:40,864 That was her idea. 2040 01:33:48,839 --> 01:33:50,308 Come on, wimp. 2041 01:33:52,209 --> 01:33:54,409 What? I thought you were the alpha now. 2042 01:33:54,411 --> 01:33:55,677 No? 2043 01:33:55,679 --> 01:33:57,315 I am the alpha, God damn it. 2044 01:34:14,430 --> 01:34:17,097 You abandoned me. 2045 01:34:17,099 --> 01:34:19,334 We were supposed to be a team, you and me. 2046 01:34:19,336 --> 01:34:20,435 Remember? 2047 01:34:20,437 --> 01:34:21,906 Yeah, I know we were. 2048 01:34:23,206 --> 01:34:25,776 But I just thought the only chance we had was alone. 2049 01:34:26,876 --> 01:34:28,111 You were right. 2050 01:34:28,845 --> 01:34:30,381 I'm sorry, kid. 2051 01:34:35,051 --> 01:34:36,053 Me, too. 2052 01:35:31,907 --> 01:35:33,475 I was so worried. 2053 01:35:33,477 --> 01:35:36,680 I woke up the next morning. I couldn't find her anywhere. 2054 01:35:38,348 --> 01:35:39,750 I never thought... 2055 01:35:41,518 --> 01:35:43,319 I never thought she'd do that, you know? 2056 01:35:46,255 --> 01:35:49,089 When I found her body in the lake, it was too late. 2057 01:35:49,091 --> 01:35:50,258 Lie. 2058 01:35:50,260 --> 01:35:51,325 You drowned her. 2059 01:35:51,327 --> 01:35:53,360 No, she killed herself. 2060 01:35:53,362 --> 01:35:54,995 I'm just all that's left of her. 2061 01:35:54,997 --> 01:35:56,431 No, you're a sister killer. 2062 01:35:56,433 --> 01:35:57,932 You're a brotherfucker. 2063 01:35:57,934 --> 01:35:59,200 Ooh! 2064 01:35:59,202 --> 01:36:00,768 What does Sean know? 2065 01:36:00,770 --> 01:36:01,871 Everything. 2066 01:36:02,773 --> 01:36:04,038 It was his idea. 2067 01:36:04,040 --> 01:36:05,906 I didn't know what to do once I found the body. 2068 01:36:05,908 --> 01:36:08,209 He said maybe this is our opportunity. 2069 01:36:08,211 --> 01:36:09,944 We could finally get out of debt. 2070 01:36:09,946 --> 01:36:11,015 Flee the country. 2071 01:36:11,982 --> 01:36:13,414 Spend more time with Nicky. 2072 01:36:13,416 --> 01:36:15,182 He convinced me we could pull it off. 2073 01:36:15,184 --> 01:36:17,051 That her DNA would do the rest. 2074 01:36:17,053 --> 01:36:19,320 I don't believe you. He grieved for you. 2075 01:36:19,322 --> 01:36:20,821 Oh, you believed that? 2076 01:36:20,823 --> 01:36:22,289 Aw, that was all an act. 2077 01:36:22,291 --> 01:36:23,991 You're a pathological liar. 2078 01:36:23,993 --> 01:36:25,295 Did Sean say that? 2079 01:36:27,130 --> 01:36:29,230 Cool. 2080 01:36:29,232 --> 01:36:31,435 I'm just gonna play you this tune real quick. 2081 01:36:35,037 --> 01:36:37,338 - Do you love her? - No. 2082 01:36:37,340 --> 01:36:38,673 It was just sex. 2083 01:36:38,675 --> 01:36:41,045 Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 2084 01:36:41,577 --> 01:36:43,343 Yes. 2085 01:36:43,345 --> 01:36:45,079 Do you love me or not, baby? 2086 01:36:45,081 --> 01:36:46,880 Of course I do. 2087 01:36:46,882 --> 01:36:48,850 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 2088 01:36:48,852 --> 01:36:51,287 I'm sorry, baby. I know you thought it was real. 2089 01:36:53,055 --> 01:36:55,190 But, hey, look on the bright side. 2090 01:36:55,192 --> 01:36:57,392 Your website went viral, thanks to me. 2091 01:36:57,394 --> 01:36:59,393 All this for a little money? 2092 01:36:59,395 --> 01:37:02,597 A little $4 million. 2093 01:37:02,599 --> 01:37:05,365 That's not exactly little, huh? 2094 01:37:05,367 --> 01:37:07,267 I was hiding out till that money came in. 2095 01:37:07,269 --> 01:37:09,169 He was just gonna tie up some loose ends. 2096 01:37:09,171 --> 01:37:10,871 Was I a loose end? 2097 01:37:10,873 --> 01:37:12,507 Well, he needed help with Nicky. 2098 01:37:12,509 --> 01:37:14,308 You're so good with those kids. 2099 01:37:14,310 --> 01:37:16,578 So what happens now? 2100 01:37:16,580 --> 01:37:19,047 I just want my kid. 2101 01:37:19,049 --> 01:37:20,548 You fucked up my insurance plan. 2102 01:37:20,550 --> 01:37:22,417 The authorities won't back down on that. 2103 01:37:22,419 --> 01:37:23,517 You can have Sean. He's a piece of shit. 2104 01:37:23,519 --> 01:37:24,852 I don't even want him. 2105 01:37:24,854 --> 01:37:26,353 I don't want Sean. 2106 01:37:26,355 --> 01:37:27,825 Then I don't know, I guess there's... 2107 01:37:29,326 --> 01:37:30,828 There's another way, but 2108 01:37:31,595 --> 01:37:33,927 sort of one mother to another. 2109 01:37:38,300 --> 01:37:40,303 Sleeping like a log. 2110 01:38:07,964 --> 01:38:10,063 - Oh! - What's going on? 2111 01:38:10,065 --> 01:38:12,202 They have a warrant. I tried to call you. 2112 01:38:13,103 --> 01:38:15,102 Excuse me. I'm Sean Townsend. 2113 01:38:15,104 --> 01:38:16,905 Look, I'm happy to comply with anything you need. 2114 01:38:16,907 --> 01:38:19,240 But it would be nice to have a heads-up. 2115 01:38:19,242 --> 01:38:20,642 This is an open investigation. 2116 01:38:20,644 --> 01:38:22,947 You don't get to pencil us in when it's convenient. 2117 01:38:30,086 --> 01:38:31,222 Hey. 2118 01:38:32,255 --> 01:38:33,454 Am I under arrest? 2119 01:38:33,456 --> 01:38:36,024 Oh, no, not yet. The DA wants a slam dunk. 2120 01:38:36,026 --> 01:38:38,159 That's gonna be pretty hard since I haven't done anything. 2121 01:38:38,161 --> 01:38:39,441 Did you know your wife was alive? 2122 01:38:40,397 --> 01:38:41,529 Not until recently. 2123 01:38:41,531 --> 01:38:43,097 When? 2124 01:38:43,099 --> 01:38:44,432 She contacted me. 2125 01:38:44,434 --> 01:38:47,200 And you immediately notified the authorities, right? 2126 01:38:47,202 --> 01:38:49,070 I can't discuss this without my attorney. 2127 01:38:49,072 --> 01:38:51,138 You know what? You really are a professor, aren't you? 2128 01:38:51,140 --> 01:38:52,973 Okay, we'll talk soon. 2129 01:38:52,975 --> 01:38:55,142 Oh, uh, if we need to contact you, 2130 01:38:55,144 --> 01:38:57,214 will you be with your wife or the best friend? 2131 01:38:59,248 --> 01:39:00,550 Somebody else? 2132 01:39:10,327 --> 01:39:11,993 I need a stiff drink. Maybe some of your... 2133 01:39:11,995 --> 01:39:14,195 I'm sorry. You can't come in. 2134 01:39:14,197 --> 01:39:16,364 What? Where's Nicky? 2135 01:39:16,366 --> 01:39:17,731 He's upstairs playing. 2136 01:39:17,733 --> 01:39:20,067 - You have to go. - What are you talking about? 2137 01:39:20,069 --> 01:39:22,035 This is an ongoing investigation, Sean. 2138 01:39:22,037 --> 01:39:23,204 For fuck's sake. 2139 01:39:23,206 --> 01:39:24,271 I can't let you into this house 2140 01:39:24,273 --> 01:39:25,539 until this whole thing's been solved. 2141 01:39:25,541 --> 01:39:26,740 She's gotten to you, hasn't she? 2142 01:39:26,742 --> 01:39:28,209 This has nothing to do with Emily. 2143 01:39:28,211 --> 01:39:30,744 It's got everything to do with her. 2144 01:39:30,746 --> 01:39:32,347 She's gaslighting you. 2145 01:39:32,349 --> 01:39:34,281 You don't understand how powerful she is. 2146 01:39:34,283 --> 01:39:36,484 No, I don't understand anything right now. 2147 01:39:36,486 --> 01:39:38,018 Stephanie, don't do this. 2148 01:39:38,020 --> 01:39:39,956 Please don't make me call the police. 2149 01:40:18,028 --> 01:40:21,128 Stephanie, please call me back. 2150 01:40:21,130 --> 01:40:22,463 I don't know what's going on 2151 01:40:22,465 --> 01:40:24,632 or how this is all going to turn out. 2152 01:40:24,634 --> 01:40:26,299 But you're a great mum, 2153 01:40:26,301 --> 01:40:28,703 and you taught me how to be a better dad. 2154 01:40:28,705 --> 01:40:31,606 For that, I'll always be grateful. 2155 01:40:31,608 --> 01:40:36,110 The truth is, I don't think I ever knew my wife. 2156 01:40:36,112 --> 01:40:38,015 Or what she's capable of. 2157 01:41:12,815 --> 01:41:14,548 A shocking new development 2158 01:41:14,550 --> 01:41:15,851 in the Emily Nelson case, 2159 01:41:15,853 --> 01:41:19,286 which first went viral on a popular Internet vlog. 2160 01:41:19,288 --> 01:41:21,355 The PR executive who was believed dead 2161 01:41:21,357 --> 01:41:22,757 in Michigan has resurfaced. 2162 01:41:22,759 --> 01:41:24,825 And it appears the body found in the lake 2163 01:41:24,827 --> 01:41:27,160 was that of Nelson's estranged twin sister. 2164 01:41:27,162 --> 01:41:29,362 Nelson's husband, Sean Townsend, 2165 01:41:29,364 --> 01:41:31,766 an abusive failed novelist and English professor 2166 01:41:31,768 --> 01:41:34,802 allegedly forced her to stage her own death 2167 01:41:34,804 --> 01:41:35,770 in order to collect 2168 01:41:35,772 --> 01:41:37,804 a $4 million life insurance policy. 2169 01:41:37,806 --> 01:41:38,940 Nevertheless, 2170 01:41:38,942 --> 01:41:41,575 bail for Mr. Townsend will be set today. 2171 01:41:41,577 --> 01:41:42,744 A British national, 2172 01:41:42,746 --> 01:41:44,712 Townsend faces deportation if found guilty. 2173 01:41:44,714 --> 01:41:46,646 Although an accomplice to fraud, 2174 01:41:46,648 --> 01:41:48,816 Ms. Nelson is complying with the authorities 2175 01:41:48,818 --> 01:41:50,454 in exchange for clemency. 2176 01:41:53,422 --> 01:41:54,690 Stephanie? 2177 01:41:58,627 --> 01:42:00,227 Where's Nicky? 2178 01:42:00,229 --> 01:42:02,299 Oh, he's at a friend's house watching a movie. 2179 01:42:03,632 --> 01:42:05,803 I figured we needed some Mommy and Daddy time. 2180 01:42:07,804 --> 01:42:09,773 Have you forgotten me already? 2181 01:42:10,840 --> 01:42:12,543 You're impossible to forget. 2182 01:42:13,242 --> 01:42:14,410 Thank you. 2183 01:42:19,748 --> 01:42:21,749 Oh, please, Sean, I'm not gonna poison you. 2184 01:42:21,751 --> 01:42:24,518 If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd already be dead. 2185 01:42:24,520 --> 01:42:26,322 You put those files in my computer. 2186 01:42:26,922 --> 01:42:29,190 Yes, I did. 2187 01:42:29,192 --> 01:42:30,624 But I did have help from a woman 2188 01:42:30,626 --> 01:42:32,495 who loves volunteering for everything. 2189 01:42:33,362 --> 01:42:34,529 Stephanie. 2190 01:42:34,531 --> 01:42:37,164 She's not as sweet as her snatch, is she? 2191 01:42:37,166 --> 01:42:38,900 Were you ever gonna tell me you had a twin sister? 2192 01:42:38,902 --> 01:42:40,267 Wasn't your business. 2193 01:42:40,269 --> 01:42:41,569 I'm your husband! 2194 01:42:41,571 --> 01:42:42,837 You've been fucking my best friend 2195 01:42:42,839 --> 01:42:44,504 in my house, but now you're my husband? 2196 01:42:44,506 --> 01:42:45,673 Okay. 2197 01:42:45,675 --> 01:42:48,308 Then I should probably tell you that we were triplets. 2198 01:42:48,310 --> 01:42:49,509 The details. 2199 01:42:49,511 --> 01:42:50,514 Hi, moms! 2200 01:42:51,180 --> 01:42:52,482 Stephanie here. 2201 01:42:53,616 --> 01:42:54,882 I wanna thank you for all the love 2202 01:42:54,884 --> 01:42:56,316 and support you've been sending me. 2203 01:42:56,318 --> 01:42:57,487 Means so much. 2204 01:42:58,254 --> 01:42:59,389 Um... 2205 01:43:00,689 --> 01:43:03,824 You know, as shocked as you guys are 2206 01:43:03,826 --> 01:43:06,459 about these turns of events, 2207 01:43:06,461 --> 01:43:09,196 I can assure you, nobody is more stunned than me. 2208 01:43:09,198 --> 01:43:10,565 Emily had her secrets. 2209 01:43:10,567 --> 01:43:11,798 So did her husband. 2210 01:43:11,800 --> 01:43:14,401 Clearly, I was the naive romantic 2211 01:43:14,403 --> 01:43:16,270 caught in the middle. 2212 01:43:16,272 --> 01:43:18,905 I love you guys. I always will. 2213 01:43:18,907 --> 01:43:19,841 I hope you can forgive me 2214 01:43:19,843 --> 01:43:21,409 in advance for what I have to do. 2215 01:43:21,411 --> 01:43:24,214 Moms, do everything yourself. 2216 01:43:27,617 --> 01:43:28,816 Stephanie. 2217 01:43:28,818 --> 01:43:30,351 You shouldn't be here right now. 2218 01:43:30,353 --> 01:43:32,419 I used to live here. Remember? 2219 01:43:32,421 --> 01:43:34,101 - Don't make this any hard... - Don't move. 2220 01:43:36,792 --> 01:43:37,892 Stephanie, please. 2221 01:43:37,894 --> 01:43:39,826 You don't even let the boys play with squirt guns. 2222 01:43:39,828 --> 01:43:41,695 That was before you told me you loved me, 2223 01:43:41,697 --> 01:43:43,530 and it turned out you were laughing at me behind my back. 2224 01:43:43,532 --> 01:43:45,566 Stephanie, maybe we should take it down a notch. 2225 01:43:45,568 --> 01:43:47,267 You used me. 2226 01:43:47,269 --> 01:43:48,835 You used me, too. 2227 01:43:48,837 --> 01:43:50,905 But you had me making you dinner, 2228 01:43:50,907 --> 01:43:53,841 watching your kid, and sucking your dick. 2229 01:43:53,843 --> 01:43:55,709 I had no idea that she was still alive. 2230 01:43:55,711 --> 01:43:56,843 Stop lying. 2231 01:43:56,845 --> 01:43:58,612 Okay, you guys, I think we 2232 01:43:58,614 --> 01:44:00,347 should just sit down and talk this out. 2233 01:44:00,349 --> 01:44:02,917 Emily, you sit down. You hated Stephanie. 2234 01:44:02,919 --> 01:44:05,319 You used to watch her vlog and rip her apart. 2235 01:44:05,321 --> 01:44:06,887 All I wanted was to be your friend. 2236 01:44:06,889 --> 01:44:08,623 You were. 2237 01:44:08,625 --> 01:44:09,824 And then you fucked my husband 2238 01:44:09,826 --> 01:44:10,792 and my insurance plan. 2239 01:44:10,794 --> 01:44:13,727 Don't blame her. This is so typical of you. 2240 01:44:13,729 --> 01:44:16,329 Sean, I was just trying to get us out of crushing fucking debt. 2241 01:44:16,331 --> 01:44:18,999 Oh, yeah. Maybe if you had the good sense to give me a call, 2242 01:44:19,001 --> 01:44:20,935 I could've helped you with this little plot of yours. 2243 01:44:20,937 --> 01:44:22,035 Oh, please, you haven't come up 2244 01:44:22,037 --> 01:44:23,303 with a decent plot in 10 years. 2245 01:44:23,305 --> 01:44:24,704 Really? Right now? 2246 01:44:24,706 --> 01:44:27,408 Can I say something, as the lady with the gun? 2247 01:44:27,410 --> 01:44:28,942 Nicky deserves better than both of you. 2248 01:44:28,944 --> 01:44:30,311 Fuck you, I love my kid. 2249 01:44:30,313 --> 01:44:31,515 Shut up. 2250 01:44:32,814 --> 01:44:35,283 Stephanie, put down the gun. 2251 01:44:35,285 --> 01:44:36,717 You don't wanna do this. 2252 01:44:36,719 --> 01:44:38,589 I really do, though. 2253 01:44:40,822 --> 01:44:42,291 I loved you. 2254 01:44:43,693 --> 01:44:44,828 I loved you, too. 2255 01:44:47,630 --> 01:44:48,862 I think this is the best thing. 2256 01:44:48,864 --> 01:44:50,265 Whoa. 2257 01:44:50,267 --> 01:44:52,732 Yeah, we could say he attacked us. They'll believe us, you know? 2258 01:44:52,734 --> 01:44:55,468 No, no, you're not fucking serious. You're not gonna kill him. 2259 01:44:55,470 --> 01:44:58,004 We're just gonna send him to jail. 2260 01:44:58,006 --> 01:45:00,473 Are you serious? Jail's enough for you? 2261 01:45:00,475 --> 01:45:02,677 - You don't need to kill him. - Aren't you angry? 2262 01:45:02,679 --> 01:45:04,477 Don't you want revenge for your sister? 2263 01:45:04,479 --> 01:45:07,347 Yeah, yes. But he didn't technically kill her. 2264 01:45:07,349 --> 01:45:08,949 Then who did? 2265 01:45:08,951 --> 01:45:11,421 Because I don't buy that it was an accident. 2266 01:45:13,989 --> 01:45:15,559 Screw this. 2267 01:45:17,960 --> 01:45:19,593 Oh, my God! 2268 01:45:19,595 --> 01:45:21,561 - Fuck. - Oh, my God. Jesus. 2269 01:45:21,563 --> 01:45:23,496 Oh, my God. Um... 2270 01:45:23,498 --> 01:45:26,433 Oh, my God! Shit! Is he really dead? 2271 01:45:26,435 --> 01:45:28,968 Sean? I'm sorry. What do I do? 2272 01:45:28,970 --> 01:45:30,573 Do you put pressure on it? 2273 01:45:31,474 --> 01:45:32,573 Do we call an ambulance? 2274 01:45:32,575 --> 01:45:34,975 Do I just let him die? I mean... 2275 01:45:34,977 --> 01:45:36,776 He deserved it, right? 2276 01:45:36,778 --> 01:45:39,679 No, I killed her. I killed my sister. 2277 01:45:39,681 --> 01:45:40,780 What? 2278 01:45:40,782 --> 01:45:42,551 Sean? Sean! 2279 01:45:42,885 --> 01:45:43,887 Get up. 2280 01:45:46,421 --> 01:45:48,088 Show's over, come on. 2281 01:45:48,090 --> 01:45:50,591 Seriously? Come on. Get the fuck up. Hey! 2282 01:45:50,593 --> 01:45:52,058 You too, Brando. 2283 01:45:52,060 --> 01:45:53,460 Get up! 2284 01:45:53,462 --> 01:45:54,764 Fuck! 2285 01:45:59,001 --> 01:46:00,003 Wow. 2286 01:46:02,505 --> 01:46:04,637 That was extra. 2287 01:46:04,639 --> 01:46:06,807 I mean, obviously, I knew you guys were up to something, 2288 01:46:06,809 --> 01:46:08,409 when I saw both the mics 2289 01:46:08,411 --> 01:46:10,578 that you had the cops plant in here. 2290 01:46:10,580 --> 01:46:12,512 You clearly wanted a confession out of me, 2291 01:46:12,514 --> 01:46:14,080 so you could clear Sean's name. 2292 01:46:14,082 --> 01:46:17,584 But that was a good way to go about it. 2293 01:46:17,586 --> 01:46:19,520 And where you messed up, though, baby girl, 2294 01:46:19,522 --> 01:46:21,021 is thinking that I would confess 2295 01:46:21,023 --> 01:46:23,156 to protect that fucking yeast infection. 2296 01:46:23,158 --> 01:46:25,025 - Really? - All right. 2297 01:46:25,027 --> 01:46:27,093 Come on, you gotta know better than that. 2298 01:46:27,095 --> 01:46:30,563 - Oh. - But then you came in all emotional with the gun, 2299 01:46:30,565 --> 01:46:33,401 and that was... That was convincing. 2300 01:46:33,403 --> 01:46:34,567 Yeah. 2301 01:46:34,569 --> 01:46:35,569 It was very cinematic. 2302 01:46:35,571 --> 01:46:37,771 I don't even know where you find this shit. 2303 01:46:37,773 --> 01:46:39,173 You're really amazing. 2304 01:46:39,175 --> 01:46:40,711 Thanks. That means a lot. 2305 01:46:41,743 --> 01:46:43,779 But you did confess, Emily. 2306 01:46:44,546 --> 01:46:47,550 Oh. Yeah. Um... 2307 01:46:48,850 --> 01:46:52,186 I did. But I cut these first, though. 2308 01:46:52,188 --> 01:46:54,454 For our friendship bracelets. 2309 01:46:54,456 --> 01:46:56,156 One for you! 2310 01:46:56,158 --> 01:46:59,526 That is disappointing. 2311 01:46:59,528 --> 01:47:02,862 Oh! My God! Look what I found. 2312 01:47:03,965 --> 01:47:08,002 Okay. You can't shoot us. The police are outside. 2313 01:47:08,004 --> 01:47:10,204 No, they're not. 2314 01:47:10,206 --> 01:47:12,539 Hey, cops, Stephanie here. 2315 01:47:12,541 --> 01:47:13,607 Change of plans. 2316 01:47:13,609 --> 01:47:15,843 I'm meeting Emily and Sean at Darren's house now. 2317 01:47:15,845 --> 01:47:16,944 I'll see you there. 2318 01:47:16,946 --> 01:47:18,646 You sent them to Darren's house? 2319 01:47:18,648 --> 01:47:20,847 It's a virus. 2320 01:47:20,849 --> 01:47:23,116 String theory. String theory, isn't it? 2321 01:47:23,118 --> 01:47:26,085 Hands up! Weapons down! 2322 01:47:26,087 --> 01:47:27,754 No, I have a prescription for that. 2323 01:47:27,756 --> 01:47:29,490 I have ocular pressure! 2324 01:47:29,492 --> 01:47:30,958 Come on, I've been on the run for 10 years. 2325 01:47:30,960 --> 01:47:32,860 You think I don't know how to manipulate the system? 2326 01:47:32,862 --> 01:47:34,829 So you're gonna kill us? 2327 01:47:34,831 --> 01:47:36,797 Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? 2328 01:47:36,799 --> 01:47:38,466 You two will clearly go to 2329 01:47:38,468 --> 01:47:40,100 extraordinary lengths to take me down. 2330 01:47:40,102 --> 01:47:41,768 And you know too much. 2331 01:47:41,770 --> 01:47:43,971 So, I feel like a murder-suicide 2332 01:47:43,973 --> 01:47:46,606 is the only fitting end for you two. 2333 01:47:46,608 --> 01:47:47,674 And if you kill him, 2334 01:47:47,676 --> 01:47:50,009 I think our insurance still covers that, right? 2335 01:47:50,011 --> 01:47:51,811 I mean, sort of perfect. 2336 01:47:51,813 --> 01:47:53,614 One door closes and another one opens. 2337 01:47:53,616 --> 01:47:54,949 Thank you for that. 2338 01:47:54,951 --> 01:47:57,051 You always have been fucking crazy, haven't you? 2339 01:47:57,053 --> 01:47:58,587 Have I? 2340 01:48:00,922 --> 01:48:02,722 Oh, shit. You're right. 2341 01:48:02,724 --> 01:48:04,644 God, you fucking... You actually fucking shot me. 2342 01:48:05,528 --> 01:48:07,127 I'm gonna miss him. 2343 01:48:07,129 --> 01:48:08,131 Your turn. 2344 01:48:09,064 --> 01:48:11,164 Emily, come on. 2345 01:48:11,166 --> 01:48:12,932 You're not gonna kill me. 2346 01:48:12,934 --> 01:48:15,201 Oh, yeah. I killed my dad and my sister, 2347 01:48:15,203 --> 01:48:18,905 but I could never kill my husband-fucking best friend. 2348 01:48:18,907 --> 01:48:20,908 Am I really your best friend? 2349 01:48:20,910 --> 01:48:23,076 You're not just saying that for, you know... 2350 01:48:23,078 --> 01:48:24,878 No, no, I'm not just saying that at all. 2351 01:48:24,880 --> 01:48:26,813 I get worried that it's just me. 2352 01:48:26,815 --> 01:48:28,695 I know, sometimes I was worried about that, too. 2353 01:48:29,919 --> 01:48:31,685 So hard to connect with other moms. 2354 01:48:31,687 --> 01:48:33,753 And then when you have a full-time job, it's... 2355 01:48:33,755 --> 01:48:35,289 Okay, okay, don't pull that crap. 2356 01:48:35,291 --> 01:48:36,656 Being a mom is a full-time job. 2357 01:48:36,658 --> 01:48:38,558 What I do is hard work. 2358 01:48:38,560 --> 01:48:39,927 And I have my vlog on top of that, 2359 01:48:39,929 --> 01:48:41,661 and that's just getting bigger and bigger. 2360 01:48:41,663 --> 01:48:43,731 If you came on the vlog, that'd be so fun. 2361 01:48:43,733 --> 01:48:45,133 If you came on the vlog 2362 01:48:45,135 --> 01:48:48,035 and confessed to killing your father and sister and held me at gunpoint, 2363 01:48:48,037 --> 01:48:49,669 I could probably hit a million subscribers. 2364 01:48:49,671 --> 01:48:51,237 Aww. That would've been great. 2365 01:48:51,239 --> 01:48:52,608 Why don't we do that right now? 2366 01:48:52,875 --> 01:48:53,874 Hmm? 2367 01:48:53,876 --> 01:48:56,110 We're live streaming. Did you not know that? 2368 01:48:56,112 --> 01:48:57,945 What the fuck are you talking about? 2369 01:48:57,947 --> 01:48:59,483 God, that's so rude, I'm sorry. 2370 01:49:00,116 --> 01:49:01,718 Wave hi to the moms! 2371 01:49:02,919 --> 01:49:04,852 This little gadget. Boop! 2372 01:49:04,854 --> 01:49:06,957 Yeah. They make nanny cams so small these days. 2373 01:49:09,058 --> 01:49:10,126 Brotherfucker! 2374 01:49:13,028 --> 01:49:14,628 Emily! 2375 01:49:14,630 --> 01:49:16,163 Emily, stop! 2376 01:49:16,165 --> 01:49:19,066 Emily, you can't outrun this! Don't do this to Nicky. 2377 01:49:19,068 --> 01:49:20,704 Come on, you're still his mom. 2378 01:49:23,906 --> 01:49:24,908 Yeah, I am. 2379 01:49:25,907 --> 01:49:27,276 But you sure as shit won't be. 2380 01:49:34,983 --> 01:49:36,683 America's hybrids. 2381 01:49:36,685 --> 01:49:38,787 Silent, but deadly. 2382 01:49:42,825 --> 01:49:44,691 I saw you on the vlog. 2383 01:49:44,693 --> 01:49:47,927 You fuck with one of the moms, you fuck with us all. 2384 01:49:49,064 --> 01:49:50,634 Oh! Emily. 2385 01:49:51,367 --> 01:49:53,633 Stop! Emily. 2386 01:49:53,635 --> 01:49:55,902 This looks super painful. 2387 01:49:55,904 --> 01:49:57,103 Now, sweetie. 2388 01:49:57,105 --> 01:49:59,807 Stop. You've just been hit by a car. 2389 01:49:59,809 --> 01:50:01,240 Don't do this. 2390 01:50:01,242 --> 01:50:03,612 I'm getting worried about your knees right now. 2391 01:50:04,380 --> 01:50:06,049 Just relax. 2392 01:50:11,386 --> 01:50:13,353 I'm sorry. 2393 01:50:13,355 --> 01:50:15,088 I'm not sorry. Oh! 2394 01:50:15,090 --> 01:50:16,559 I'm still working on that. 2395 01:50:21,063 --> 01:50:22,695 Hi, moms! Stephanie here. 2396 01:50:22,697 --> 01:50:24,298 We have very exciting news today 2397 01:50:24,300 --> 01:50:27,401 because we signed up our one millionth subscriber, 2398 01:50:27,403 --> 01:50:30,937 Mrs. Carol Findley of Ames, Iowa! 2399 01:50:30,939 --> 01:50:33,774 Thank you for joining us, Carol. 2400 01:50:33,776 --> 01:50:36,009 You should know, as our newest friend, 2401 01:50:36,011 --> 01:50:38,177 that in addition to my usual helpful tips and recipes, 2402 01:50:38,179 --> 01:50:41,048 I now take on unsolved mysteries. 2403 01:50:41,050 --> 01:50:42,915 Because it turns out I have a nose 2404 01:50:42,917 --> 01:50:45,386 for sniffing out the freshest basil 2405 01:50:45,388 --> 01:50:47,855 and criminals who thought they got away with it. 2406 01:50:47,857 --> 01:50:49,390 So if you have a cold case 2407 01:50:49,392 --> 01:50:51,392 or a mystery that needs to be unraveled, 2408 01:50:51,394 --> 01:50:52,360 you just drop me a line. 2409 01:50:52,362 --> 01:50:54,027 That includes you now, Carol, 2410 01:50:54,029 --> 01:50:55,995 because you're part of the family. 2411 01:50:55,997 --> 01:50:58,298 For now, we're gonna be talking 2412 01:50:58,300 --> 01:50:59,732 about my favorite cold soup, 2413 01:50:59,734 --> 01:51:01,334 gazpacho! 2414 01:51:01,336 --> 01:51:02,335 Which is normally gross, but we're not gonna make it gross. 2415 01:51:02,337 --> 01:51:03,936 Right, guys? It's gonna be great. 2416 01:51:49,484 --> 01:51:51,755 In your ass! 2417 01:51:58,434 --> 01:52:03,434 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard