1 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,243 [birds chirping] 2 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,119 [parrot caws] 3 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,707 [dramatic music plays] 4 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,469 [elephant trumpets] 5 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,985 I've got you now. 6 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,584 {\an8}That's it, my little misunderstood friend. 7 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,211 {\an8}Nibble the powdery cinnamon bliss. 8 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,754 [squeaking] 9 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,801 {\an8}No, your path ends in death. 10 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,429 [woman screaming] 11 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,939 [baby crying, giggling] 12 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,110 [squeaking] 13 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,530 [all grunt] 14 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,647 No! 15 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,570 [grunts] 16 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,619 [squeaking] 17 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,872 You have been saved. No charge. 18 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,502 - [alligator roars] - [screams] 19 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:53,131 This is certainly an ironic situation 20 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,133 with an apex predator there 21 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,302 and me over here holding this little guy 22 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,388 at the bottom of the food chain and all. Heh. 23 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,181 Hey, Mom. Look what I found. 24 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,726 Ace Irwin Ventura, you get out of that habitat 25 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,479 and away from that man-eating alligator this instant. 26 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:08,855 Okay. 27 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,399 Stay. 28 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,567 - [alligator roars] - [screams] 29 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:13,944 [groans] 30 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,491 {\an8}- How many times have I told you? - A million. 31 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,868 {\an8}- Visiting me at the zoo... - Is a privilege, not a right. 32 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,245 {\an8}- This is... - The last time... 33 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,871 {\an8}I get to come here if I am going... 34 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,289 {\an8}Gonna behave this way. 35 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,874 {\an8}I'm serious, Ace. 36 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,293 {\an8}- You're always serious, Mom. - And do you know why? 37 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,796 {\an8}Because you're not gonna lose me like you lost Dad. 38 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,007 {\an8}I'm sorry, Mom. 39 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,136 {\an8}I don't know why I had to save him, I just did. 40 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,848 {\an8}It's a mouse, Ace. 41 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,392 {\an8}That's why we have traps here. 42 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,603 {\an8}You are not, I repeat, not responsible 43 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,481 {\an8}for every stray animal in every corner of this planet. 44 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,028 - I'm not? - [Melissa] No. 45 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,822 [squeaking] 46 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,032 Now give me the mouse. 47 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,415 - And the hedgehog. - [sighs] 48 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,502 And the guinea pig. 49 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,213 And the ferret. 50 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,715 [purrs] 51 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,302 - And the toad. Oh, there we go. - [croaking] 52 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:23,764 What? 53 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,682 Baby gator. 54 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,309 What baby gator? 55 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,646 - Fine, here. - [hisses] 56 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,107 Now you're late for school. 57 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,609 - Let's go. - Hey, what's that? 58 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,818 Ace. 59 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,278 {\an8}What's going on over here? 60 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,447 {\an8}[Melissa] Honey, honey, come back here. 61 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,491 {\an8}- Ace, okay, look. - [Ace] Pong Ping? 62 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,201 {\an8}The Chinese government has loaned us 63 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,788 {\an8}Pong Ping and Ting Tang, the world's most famous pandas. 64 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,665 And there's gonna be an unveiling next week. Now, Ace... 65 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:54,669 I know. I promise, no trying to find missing pets or... 66 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,838 or helping animals or anything. 67 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,466 Even if they're about to get run over. 68 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,051 Okay, that's not what I mean. 69 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,139 And I will try to be normal. 70 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,767 Thank you, A.J. 71 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,144 Now will you please go to school? 72 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,687 Okay. 73 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,899 {\an8}[school bell ringing] 74 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,402 [Ace] Normal. 75 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,367 Normal. Must be normal. 76 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,620 [boy 1] Hey, Tara, is it true what happened to your pet? 77 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,206 Yeah. I woke up this morning 78 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,750 and my pet rabbit, Mimzy, was totally gone. 79 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,546 Rabbit. Mimzy. Lost. 80 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:38,964 [girl] Of course we're depressed. 81 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,800 Our skunk's been missing two weeks. 82 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,052 We're emotional wrecks about it. 83 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,181 I will be normal. 84 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,893 My friend Bethany can't find her chinchilla. 85 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,645 [indistinct chatter] 86 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,355 It's an animal-nabbing epidemic. 87 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,691 [Tara] Laura, what about you? 88 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,109 You think that's bad? 89 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,904 The other day, Greeny, my incredibly rare emerald-green koi fish? 90 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,614 Vanished right out of the aquarium. 91 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:05,907 [screams] 92 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:15,375 [man on speaker] Your attention, please. I have some sad news. 93 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,211 Mr. Chompers, our beloved swim-team mascot, 94 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,462 has gone missing. 95 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,672 [class groans] 96 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382 Any student with information 97 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,135 is requested to report to the pool immediately. 98 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,393 Well, he's gone. 99 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,062 Do you know where our mascot is or not? 100 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:40,191 Well, I wouldn't say I know where he is. 101 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,610 But you know who took him? 102 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,777 Not exactly. 103 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,571 But you have some kind of lead? 104 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,281 Define "lead." 105 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,908 Forget this loser. 106 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,492 No, wait. I can find him. 107 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,120 What makes you think that? 108 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,414 I just know I can. 109 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,833 Ooh, what are you, some kind of pet... 110 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,674 finder guy? 111 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,301 [girls all laugh] 112 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,974 Just give me four days. What do you got to lose? 113 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,727 You got 72 hours. 114 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:21,191 Okay. Seventy-two hours. That's like two weeks. 115 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,068 That's great. 116 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,654 [Datarock's "Fa Fa Fa" playing] 117 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,072 [dog barks] 118 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,407 I know what Mom said, but this is important. 119 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,867 She won't find out. 120 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,244 [whimpering] 121 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,913 Now cowboy up, dog, 122 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,540 because we're not just gonna go find Mr. Chompers. 123 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,002 I hear a whole lot of lost pets calling my name. 124 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,295 [bell rings] 125 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,005 ♪ I need a shot ♪ 126 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,509 ♪ I need a shot of ambition ♪ 127 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:48,885 [horns honking] 128 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,637 ♪ I need a hit ♪ 129 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,889 - That'll do it. - [barks] 130 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,975 This is the busiest intersection in town, Ox. 131 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,810 [tires squeal, car crashes] 132 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,436 Thousands of people will see this. 133 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,398 ♪ I need to fix my ignition ♪ 134 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,067 Recognize your Mimzy? 135 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,529 - [Tara] No. - Number 3, hop to the right. 136 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,072 - [farts] - [Ace] Uh-oh. 137 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,532 Number 1 just went number two. 138 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,034 Number 4, stop doing that to Number 3. 139 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,203 Would you guys stop multiplying? 140 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,665 Well, how about now? 141 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,749 [scoffs] 142 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,293 Lost hamster, milk for Milton. 143 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,046 Help find Milton. Runaway rodent. 144 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:26,756 Do a brother solid. 145 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,218 {\an8}Milk for Milton. Please help find Milton. 146 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:32,887 I found Milton. 147 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,514 No. Mm-mm. 148 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,683 I didn't find Milton. 149 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,440 Offensive action. Three, two, one. 150 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,316 [both farting] 151 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,027 [squeals] 152 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,988 [coughing] 153 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,656 Now, that's offensive. 154 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,492 Stop toying with our emotions. 155 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,578 That's not Breezy, moron. 156 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,079 [crowd] Skunk! 157 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,081 [crowd screaming] 158 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,589 ♪ Fa-fa-fa F-f-f-fa-fa ♪ 159 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,340 [screaming] 160 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,427 It's called papering the town, Oxnard. 161 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:18,016 Very effective method for disseminating information. 162 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,893 [barks] 163 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,729 ♪ Ride fast To where I don't care ♪ 164 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,988 - [Ox barks] - That's not true. 165 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,824 I treat every one of my missing pets exactly the same, 166 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,451 no matter who they belong to. 167 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,913 Well, here we are, Ox. 168 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,582 Casa de Laura Wilson's house. 169 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,667 The scene of the crime. 170 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:45,752 [barks] 171 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,295 Sorry, old friend, 172 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,631 now is not the time to tell Laura how I feel. 173 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,635 - [Ox barks] - I am not scared to talk to her. 174 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,178 [Ox growling] 175 00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,472 Oh, you think so, huh? 176 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,724 Yeah, well, watch and learn, Puppy Chow. 177 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:02,227 [knocking on door] We'll find her pet 178 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,105 and then I'll find time to express how I really feel. 179 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,481 Hi, Ace. 180 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,733 Oh, my God, you're pretty! 181 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,654 - What? - [Ox whimpering] 182 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,573 Um, your...Your koi fish, 183 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,535 she's itty-bitty. 184 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,287 Yeah, she sure is. 185 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,415 Much like a grunion. 186 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,626 Stand aside, ma'am. 187 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,461 Clues don't find themselves, you know. 188 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,380 Oxnard, while I'm young? 189 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,592 Crime scene is secure. No sign of any forced entries. 190 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,427 Initial suspects include 191 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,638 the scuba man and the treasure chest. 192 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,980 Remember when I brought her into school 193 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,566 as part of my report on unusual animals? 194 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,236 The next morning, when I woke up, Greeny was gone. 195 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,279 Really? 196 00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,869 Case number 349-A-493-20451. 197 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,996 Neptune Alpha Charley Horse. 198 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,998 Missing green koi fish. 199 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,499 Answers to Greeny. 200 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,919 Question: Have you tried calling her? 201 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,339 - Calling her? She's a fish. - [stammers] 202 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,384 May I? 203 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:17,969 Sure. 204 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:29,397 [gargling loudly] 205 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,867 Well, she's gone. 206 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,327 Yeah. 207 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,038 Owner is one Laura Wilson. 208 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,957 Smart. Funny. Great listener. 209 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,543 [sniffs] Excellent personal hygiene. 210 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,048 A smile that'll make you feel like pudding inside 211 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,884 and skin like peaches and cream, 212 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,429 except for maybe this one spot on her perfectly formed chin. 213 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,264 Possibly a pimple? 214 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,934 - A pimple? Where? - Oh... 215 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,061 - [whines, barks] - ...I'm such an idiot. 216 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,938 No one asked you. Uh... 217 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,899 Um, Oxnard and I must be, uh, going now. 218 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,568 Anyway, your lovable collection of aquatic friends 219 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,946 will have their emerald companion back in, um... 220 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,949 - [clock ticks, dings] - ...three days. 221 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,451 - Really? - I promise. 222 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,204 You broke your promise. 223 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,915 - What did I tell you? - That I'm not responsible 224 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,502 for the well-being of every stray animal in every corner of the planet. 225 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,337 But, Mom, I had to. 226 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,006 Do you think I like scooping poop all day? I don't. 227 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,511 I got this job so that you could see animals as much as you want 228 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,847 whenever you want, safely and with complete supervision. 229 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,724 Yeah, but it's not the same, okay? 230 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:51,145 I-I wanna find lost animals. I-I love it. 231 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,148 Okay, I tried every other extracurricular activity 232 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,402 you wanted me to and I mastered them all. 233 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,780 [Border Ruffians' "Who's the Man" playing] 234 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,948 [whistle blows] 235 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,908 What? 236 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,535 [singing] 237 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,665 [feedback screeches] 238 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:11,791 Next. 239 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:14,877 [blows whistle] 240 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,504 [blows whistle] 241 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,880 Bananas. 242 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,093 P-R-E-T-T-Y. Pretty. 243 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,761 [man] That is correct. 244 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,641 Your word is "antidisestablishmentarianism." 245 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,563 P-R-E-T-T-Y. Pretty. 246 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,064 [buzzer buzzes] 247 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,277 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 248 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,112 - ♪ Who's the man? ♪ - ♪ Who's the man? ♪ 249 00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:42,905 - ♪ Oh, who's the man? ♪ - ♪ Who's the man? ♪ 250 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,157 ♪ Who the hell? ♪ 251 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,241 [sniffing] 252 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,743 ♪ That's what I thought, yeah ♪ 253 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,952 ♪ Who's the man? ♪ 254 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,165 This was a dumb idea. [Ace splashes] 255 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,086 [screaming] 256 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,091 Okay, maybe I didn't master all of them, 257 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,219 but maybe athletics aren't my calling. 258 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:11,059 Wait, was Dad an athlete? A good speller? An entertainer? 259 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,145 This is not about your dad. We'll talk about him another time. 260 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,439 Mom, you always say that. 261 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,818 I'm not ready for that talk yet. We can have it when you're older. 262 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,946 - [belches] - I am older, Mom. I'm 12 years old 263 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,948 and I'm starting to have weird feelings 264 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,118 and I don't have Dad for "that talk." 265 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:35,083 Honey, everybody your age has those feelings. 266 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,544 No, Mom. [slurping] 267 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,756 Not these feelings. 268 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:49,806 That's it. You are not eating out of a dog bowl. 269 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,891 You are not sticking your head out of a car window. 270 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,394 And use the toilet for something other than drinking. 271 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,270 You're gonna be like other kids. 272 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,981 - But, Mom, this is who I am. - No, it's not. 273 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,192 It's who you're acting like. 274 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,613 [panda bleating] 275 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,621 [panda bleating] 276 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,047 [howling] 277 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,885 [whimpering and growling] 278 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,649 - Hmm? - [whimpering] 279 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,110 Hmm. 280 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,826 [whimpering] 281 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:57,665 [farts] 282 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,092 [spits] 283 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,353 [Ox whimpering] 284 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,231 [gasps] 285 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,320 [Ox growls] 286 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:39,957 Oh. 287 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,209 [yawning] 288 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,597 [Melissa] Morning. 289 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,349 Good morning, Mom. 290 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,142 Hey, what's with that hat on? 291 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,478 - What hat? - Ace. 292 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,231 It's what all the kids are doing. 293 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:07,276 You said you wanted me to be like them so here you go. 294 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,611 [Ox barks] 295 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,238 Not at the table. 296 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,741 [Ox panting] 297 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,585 Mom. Mom, the cereal. 298 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,506 - Oh, my God. - What? 299 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,466 - It's happening. - What is it? 300 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,301 [man 1] Come out with your hands up. 301 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,845 - [shrieks] - [guns cocking] 302 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,181 [Ox barking] 303 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,562 Don't move. 304 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,940 - Melissa Ventura? - Yeah. 305 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,485 Oh, wow, one more punch and you get a free yogurt. 306 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:50,736 [clears throat] 307 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,823 {\an8}[Ace] "The Cinnamon Hippo"? 308 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,491 Is that like Chuck E. Cheese? 309 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,494 Never mind that. Russell Hollander, NBFW. 310 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,663 National Bureau of Fish and Wildlife. 311 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,040 Smart kid. I'm in charge here. 312 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,043 Do you have any idea how often they let 313 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:09,213 a member of Fish and Wildlife lead a SWAT team? 314 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,923 Yeah. Never. 315 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,634 You guys don't even get badges. You wear patches. 316 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,846 Give me that. Try that again, I'll have you arrested 317 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,307 - for assaulting a federal officer. - Okay, fine, jeez. 318 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,809 But technically, police dogs outrank you. 319 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,352 [man 2] Ranger Hollander? 320 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,271 - They're towing your car, sir. - Again? 321 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,691 [Melissa] Wait. Can't you tell us what you're looking for? 322 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,735 [Hollander] Your case is the biggest in service history. 323 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,612 They're calling guys back from Alaska for this. 324 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,238 Playing dumb is not gonna work. 325 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,450 You left a lot of evidence at the crime scene, Ventura. 326 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,910 We found your shoe prints all over the place. 327 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,621 In English, Ranger Smith? 328 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,914 - Ting Tang has been stolen. - [GASPS] 329 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,752 Mom works for the zoo. Of course her footprints were there. 330 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,921 Your bank accounts show you've been living paycheck-to-paycheck. 331 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,383 I suspect the panda cub brings big bucks on the black market, huh? 332 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,593 [man] We found something, sir. 333 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,804 [siren chirps] 334 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,806 Oh. Look at this. 335 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,063 Your ransom note? 336 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,689 {\an8}[Melissa] Somebody sent that to us. 337 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,316 {\an8}I don't even know what that means. 338 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,151 {\an8}- And this. - [Melissa gasps] 339 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,028 A tranquilizer gun. 340 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,404 Sir, your finger... 341 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,615 - prints. - Recently fired. 342 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,451 Aah! They give us all tranquilizer guns. 343 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,911 I used it to sedate a chimpanzee. 344 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,746 Oh, that was actually very funny. 345 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,581 He grabbed ahold of this tourist's leg... 346 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,708 But that's enough, Ace. Uh, Uh... 347 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,043 Melissa Ventura... 348 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,545 you're under arrest. 349 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,882 - What? No, no. - [man] Oh, wait. 350 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,926 Down, boy. Down, boy. Down. Down. 351 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,260 [growling] 352 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,388 [Melissa] It's been a mistake. It's a mistake. 353 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,349 There you go. There we go. We'll sort it all out. 354 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,060 [Ace] Oh, good. It's like chocolate. They're so addictive. 355 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,407 [Melissa] There we go. I know they are. 356 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,689 [indistinct chatter] 357 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,483 Come on. 358 00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,528 I am not going anywhere until I can make a call 359 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,279 for someone to stay with my son. 360 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,490 Give her the cell phone. 361 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,534 It'll be all right, Mom. I'll find Ting Tang. 362 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,202 No, you promised. 363 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,413 I don't want you to do anything, Ace. 364 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,581 One call. 365 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,502 Okay, while you walk. While you walk. 366 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,963 I-I'm gonna call his grandfather. 367 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,173 But, Mom, Grandpa's gonna be on a cruise 368 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,675 for another four weeks. 369 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,510 I'm calling your other grandpa. 370 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:20,928 What other grandpa? 371 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,513 Grandpa... 372 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,183 Ventura. 373 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,643 Huh? 374 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,230 Rex? It's Melissa. 375 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,861 [Rex groaning] 376 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,113 [Rex] Hold on. 377 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,614 [meows] 378 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,158 [Rex groaning] 379 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,127 [Rex] Come on, Spark. 380 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,254 Come on, Spark. 381 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:56,922 Sorry about that. 382 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,262 Hello, Ace. 383 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,473 Grandpa? 384 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,185 First thing, your mom is fine. 385 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,605 She's gonna have a bail hearing on Friday. You can see her then. 386 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,941 [clearing throat] 387 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,947 Darn hairballs. 388 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,701 What can you do? My cat's on his eighth life. 389 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,704 There are some spots he's simply too old to lick himself. 390 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,749 - [gags] - [clears throat] 391 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,417 Too much information. 392 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:38,172 Well, Ace, I haven't seen you since you were a baby. 393 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,216 What are you now, 84? 394 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,676 Grandpa, I'm 12. 395 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,136 Right. Dog years. 396 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,055 Eighty-four years old. 397 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,809 I'll bet you're helping animals by now, aren't you? 398 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,519 Come on, show me your office. 399 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:54,980 Come on, Spark. 400 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,441 Come on, Sparky, here we go. 401 00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,401 Thattaboy. 402 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:03,364 So these are the animals you're trying to find, huh? 403 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,909 Well, I was, but then Mom said it was too dangerous. 404 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:09,495 Re-e-eally? 405 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,753 [Laura] Hi, Ace. 406 00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,674 Ho-ho-ho. You obsess much? 407 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:24,176 What, about Laura? No, uh, not really. 408 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:26,679 Sometimes. Maybe. Yeah, I do. 409 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:30,099 Hey, Grandpa, can I ask you a question? 410 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,433 Sure thing. 411 00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,519 What was my dad like? 412 00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:38,107 Well, what did your mom tell you about him? 413 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,192 Nothing. She says that he disappeared 414 00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,528 on a business trip when I was a baby 415 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:44,822 and that I'm too young to know the rest. 416 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,032 Yeah, well, your mom's got good reasons 417 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:49,118 why she doesn't wanna talk about him. 418 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,744 But can I ask you this? 419 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:54,957 Have you ever wondered why you keep looking for lost animals? 420 00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,001 Because... 421 00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:58,419 Because why? 422 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,171 I don't know. 423 00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:03,382 Because you're a Ventura. Heh. 424 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,301 A Ventura. 425 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:06,635 [monkey] Ventura. 426 00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:10,639 [Rex] Now, although it took a long time 427 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:15,060 for our ancestors to develop a kinship with the animal world, 428 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:18,022 eventually, we won them over. 429 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:19,940 Even the carnivores. 430 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,903 Down through history, the Ventura line continued. 431 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:27,656 Including Charles Ventura Darwin. 432 00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,450 You know who he was, don't you? 433 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:32,453 He was the evolution guy, right? 434 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:38,500 Survival of the least lo-o-oserest. 435 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,838 And did you know a Ventura would never harm an animal? 436 00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:46,842 One of your ancestors, the great Antarctic explorer 437 00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,178 Sir Ernest Ventura Shackleton. 438 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,889 Although he and his crew were starving to death 439 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,933 they would not eat a penguin. 440 00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:57,227 Jacques Ventura Cousteau 441 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,521 who invented the scuba suit 442 00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:03,734 so that finally man could commune with his watery brethren. 443 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:06,278 Fit like a glove. 444 00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,864 So you see, Ace Jr., 445 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:12,326 the Ventura line has a long and storied career 446 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:18,040 of animal advocacy, communion and search and rescue. 447 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,710 Well, was my dad like the other Venturas? 448 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:23,879 Well...Heh-heh. 449 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,799 I've probably said too much already. 450 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,759 But your mom was in trouble 451 00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,886 and I thought you needed to know. 452 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,389 So, what you're saying is 453 00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:35,891 is that I should go out and try to find Ting Tang? 454 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:37,685 I'm not saying anything. 455 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,271 I'm just saying. 456 00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:44,024 S-saying what? 457 00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:50,072 Your Y-chromosome has the Ventura mutation. 458 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:51,949 You're one of us. 459 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,829 Come on, Sparky. 460 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,956 Um, Grandpa, I'm... 461 00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:01,667 I'm pretty sure h-he's dead. 462 00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:07,297 He's not dead. He's sleeping. Come on. 463 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:10,592 You hear what he said? My goodness. My goodness. 464 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:21,061 [Ace grunting] 465 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:32,614 Hey, if I say over the wall, it's over the wall. 466 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,700 Don't be a maverick. Let's go. 467 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,243 [Ace screams] 468 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:41,999 Jeez, I didn't know the lunch lady had a night job. 469 00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:48,630 [Hollander] Russell Hollander, NBFW CSI: Orlando. 470 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,008 I like the way that sounds. 471 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,927 I left no stone unturned, no clue undiscovered. 472 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,472 Case closed, Melissa Ventura. 473 00:25:57,598 --> 00:25:59,308 You are guilty. 474 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,186 That guy is one big-time sick monkey, my friend. 475 00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:04,271 [growling] 476 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:06,815 [clears throat] 477 00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:23,499 Case number 349-A-493-20452. 478 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,125 Alpha Beta Delta Airlines. 479 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,337 Missing panda cub. Answers to Ting Tang. 480 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,922 Or if you speak Panda: 481 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,673 [growling] 482 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:34,301 On loan from national government. 483 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,387 Country: China. 484 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,598 Crime scene shows no sign of disturbance. 485 00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:43,644 As expected, my mom's shoe prints are everywhere. 486 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,896 And the only other prints are panda... 487 00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,440 or are they? 488 00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:53,070 Holy roly-poly. 489 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:56,949 I knew it. 490 00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:58,909 [Pong Ping roars] 491 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,914 - [gasps] - [grunts] 492 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:08,335 Hey. Look, Pong Ping, I'm a...I'm a family friend. 493 00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:12,131 I knew your uncle when he was here, uh, Chan Chin. 494 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,468 Or, uh, Bing Bang? 495 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:18,846 Or Hong Kong? 496 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:20,764 Wang Chung? Heh. 497 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,683 [grumbling] 498 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,020 You miss your cub? 499 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:29,940 [grunts] 500 00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:31,692 Yeah, I miss my mom too. 501 00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:33,902 [grunts] 502 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,864 But I found some really important clues while I was here. 503 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,991 [grunts] 504 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,038 I'm not the world's greatest, uh, 505 00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:48,750 pet s-sleuth. 506 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:54,506 Finder? Investigator? Oh, I don't know. But... 507 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,884 - [grunts] - But I'll try. 508 00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,012 - I promise. - [bleating] 509 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:05,726 [beeping] 510 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,531 Hey, kid. Are you Arnold Plushinski? 511 00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,409 Yeah, but call me A Plus. Aah! 512 00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:26,413 [boy] You're dead, Plushinski. I mean it. Move. 513 00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:29,458 Uh-oh. That can't be good. 514 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:31,585 [girls shriek] 515 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:38,050 {\an8}[computer] Proximity alert. Proximity alert. 516 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,762 Give up the gummies, Plushinski, and the horror will end. 517 00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,264 Never. Aah! 518 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,184 Excuse me. Yes. 519 00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:49,603 [boy] Move. 520 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,278 [A Plus yelping] 521 00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:03,909 [boy] Move it. Out of the way. 522 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:06,912 Where is he? 523 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,165 Can't hide the gummies forever, Plushinski. 524 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,042 [girl 1] Hey, what are you doing? 525 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,502 [girl 2] Oh, my God. 526 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:16,129 - [boy] Where'd he go? - [girl 3] Whatever. 527 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:20,759 [school bell rings] 528 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:32,104 Hello? A Plus? 529 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:35,190 [A Plus] Why are you talking to me? 530 00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:39,152 Who just said that? 531 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,446 [A Plus] No one ever talks to me except bullies. 532 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,533 You're not gonna beat me up, are you? 533 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:47,911 No. I need your help. 534 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,831 [A Plus] Oh. In here. 535 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:03,135 [gasps] 536 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:07,931 [Ace] What the...? 537 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:10,350 [chuckles] Awesome. 538 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,523 [whispers] Awesome. 539 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:36,543 Holy cellar dweller, Batman. 540 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,211 This place is... 541 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,213 How did you build this? 542 00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:42,841 This whole place was forgotten about during a renovation, 543 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:44,217 but I found a way in. 544 00:30:44,718 --> 00:30:46,053 Made my lab. 545 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:49,598 I can't believe I have a friend, 546 00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:52,392 and I didn't even have to grow him in a petri dish. 547 00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,813 [Ace] Oh, my God, those are giant gummy worms. 548 00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,690 Hey, sto...! 549 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:01,485 That's a bully-tracking device. [grunts] 550 00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:04,321 They transmit to my GPS here. 551 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:08,450 A bully eats a harmless-looking candy and it gets into his digestive tract. 552 00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:11,328 I can track him for up to 18 hours. 553 00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:13,455 Twelve, if he eats chili. 554 00:31:13,747 --> 00:31:17,167 - [groans] - So how can I help you, friend? 555 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:22,547 Um, I have some, uh, measurements that I need analyzed. 556 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:25,384 [Ace on recording] These prints are 1.5 millimeters deep 557 00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:28,637 as differentiated from these which are 2.3 millimeters 558 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,597 and these, which are 5 millimeters. 559 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:32,140 Fascinating, captain. 560 00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,101 These measurements clearly indicate 561 00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:36,603 prints made by three very different organisms 562 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:39,481 weighing approximately 125 pounds, 563 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:44,653 183.253 pounds and 390 pounds respectively. 564 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,240 So anything else? 565 00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:51,952 How long would it take for you to hack into a website called 566 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:54,955 "www.PandaFanatic.com"? 567 00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:56,456 We're in like Tolkien. 568 00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:59,167 Here's a picture of the guy who runs the site. 569 00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:04,005 His e-mail address is m.sickinger@penningtoncorp.net. 570 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,591 Pennington Corporation. 571 00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,594 That's Pennington Jr.'s father's company. 572 00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,138 Oh, he's so cool. 573 00:32:11,471 --> 00:32:14,182 Isn't that the kid who rides to school in the limousine every day? 574 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,852 Yes, and he's extraordinarily popular. 575 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:21,606 Of all the tables in the cafeteria, his is the furthest away from mine. 576 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:22,816 [laughs, snorts] 577 00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:25,777 Um, do you mind if I...? If I keep one of these? 578 00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,320 - Of course. - Okay. 579 00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:29,364 I'll just...I'll just, um, 580 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,366 be on my way. 581 00:32:32,742 --> 00:32:35,620 I'll be on my way. I will talk to you later. 582 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,873 Really? And you won't even pretend 583 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,708 like I'm not there or give me a swirly? 584 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,127 - No, no. - Awesome. 585 00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,841 [whimpers] 586 00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,177 [Ace] Grandpa, I'm pretty sure he's dead. 587 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:53,305 [Rex] No, he's just a good actor. 588 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,183 Dead dogs don't get dinner. 589 00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:57,517 [whimpers] 590 00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:00,687 Oh. All right. 591 00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:09,613 Hard day at the office? 592 00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:13,325 It's...It's just that I found all these clues 593 00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:14,868 to help Mom's case but, 594 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,954 to do that, I had to break my promise to her. 595 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:21,333 So you're working on a case? 596 00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,210 Yeah. You know what they call 597 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:25,253 those working on cases, don't you? 598 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,796 Yeah, cops. 599 00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:31,009 Face it, Grandpa, I'm just a kid who lied to his mom. 600 00:33:31,134 --> 00:33:32,636 I don't know what to do. 601 00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:37,182 Well, you can start by being who you are. 602 00:33:38,475 --> 00:33:40,560 Who you were born to be. 603 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,650 Now, lying to your mom is one thing, 604 00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:49,152 but lying to yourself, Ace Jr., 605 00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:53,532 son, that leads to a life of disappointment. 606 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:12,384 That's not normal. 607 00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:16,638 I will be normal. 608 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:19,933 Ha. 609 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:25,021 Hi, this is Pennington Jr. with a very special message just for you. 610 00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:28,233 You're invited to my birthday party. Lucky you. 611 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,819 Yes, I'm invited, I'm invited, I'm invited. 612 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,654 I'm invited! 613 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,573 [crowd cheering] 614 00:34:34,864 --> 00:34:36,575 [stammers] Press. 615 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,911 Perez Ventura. I'm here to interview Pennington Jr. 616 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,414 [grunts] No, not on the list. 617 00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:45,333 [Ace] List? What list? I don't care about no stinking list. 618 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,961 I'm with The, uh... The Daily Rumor Mill. 619 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,464 School paper? Familiar with freedom of the press? 620 00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:54,467 It's in something called the Constitution of the United States. 621 00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:56,094 You should read it sometime. 622 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,971 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't tase me, bro. 623 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,889 First Amendment violation. Put me down. 624 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,224 [Pennington] Let him through. 625 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:02,767 [man] Put him down, boys. 626 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,314 Now that's admissible evidence. 627 00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:08,940 I haven't been humiliated like this 628 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:11,401 since they started making us shower after P.E. 629 00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:13,069 [groans] 630 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,742 We're on a tight schedule. You got three minutes. 631 00:35:21,995 --> 00:35:23,622 Is that a forest up there? 632 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:25,415 Man, you gotta clip those nose hairs. 633 00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:28,460 You could make a teddy bear out of that. Wow. 634 00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:32,547 Clean up Bigfoot here real nice. 635 00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:36,092 We Penningtons pride ourselves on good relations with the press 636 00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:38,136 but the invitations have already been recorded. 637 00:35:38,345 --> 00:35:40,930 - There's nothing I can do. - [man] Waiter? Lunch. 638 00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:43,224 Please, take this pass. 639 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:44,934 It will get you into the school gymnasium 640 00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:46,227 on the day of the party, 641 00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:48,021 where we'll be webcasting the whole thing. 642 00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:49,898 It'll make headlines. 643 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:53,401 Oh, that's terrific, sport. Here's a few for you: 644 00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:56,321 "Billionaire Boy in Liposuction Incident." 645 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,284 Or "I Had Pennington Jr.'s Alien Love Baby." 646 00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:02,994 I'm great with Photoshop. 647 00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:05,538 You're threatening invade my privacy and blackmail me 648 00:36:05,622 --> 00:36:07,165 unless I give you information. 649 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,292 I'm the paparazzi. It's what I do. 650 00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:13,338 But I will get off your back if you tell me about this guy. 651 00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:20,470 Dr. Michael Sickinger. A brilliant scientist 652 00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:22,681 who worked for our animal genetics laboratory. 653 00:36:22,931 --> 00:36:24,265 He's one of the finest. 654 00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:25,433 Indubitably. 655 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,519 Unfortunately, he's quite insane. 656 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:29,896 Incontinently. 657 00:36:30,063 --> 00:36:32,399 He harbors a bizarre hatred for panda bears. 658 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,193 Incomprehensibly. Does he still work for your father? 659 00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:37,779 Oh, no. We fired him just a few weeks ago. 660 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:41,199 I believe he's now the chief of non-telegenic species research 661 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:43,993 - at the Dinosaur Fossils Foundation. - [shutter clicking] 662 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,206 What? 663 00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:50,709 I don't know what it means either. 664 00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:53,169 - You'll have to ask him yourself. - Oh, I will. 665 00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:56,047 [shutter clicking] 666 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:59,551 Bye-bye, then. Every shot I take, a Picasso. 667 00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,344 [sighs] 668 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:03,346 No touching the camera. 669 00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:08,852 - Where's my rabbit, loser? - Nice to see you too, Tara. 670 00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:11,479 You were supposed to find Breezy a week ago. 671 00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:13,523 You owe us for the extra therapy session. 672 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:16,443 I can't comment on an ongoing investigation. 673 00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:20,780 Aah! Holy magenta, you guys look like a box of crayons. 674 00:37:21,865 --> 00:37:24,284 Why do you guys always travel in a flock? 675 00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:26,161 [Ace] Ladies, is this really necessary? 676 00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:28,455 Can't we talk this over like civilized adults? 677 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:31,166 You can, uh, IM me and I'll text you back. 678 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,668 You said I had 72 hours! 679 00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:37,464 You've had eight days. 680 00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:39,090 Two kinds of people: 681 00:37:39,174 --> 00:37:41,843 People that pee in the pool and people who lie about it. 682 00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:44,763 Find Mr. Chompers or you go swimming again tomorrow. 683 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,556 [school bell ringing] 684 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,228 [both laughing] 685 00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:53,855 [mimicking] 686 00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:56,691 What? 687 00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,568 Get to class, Ventura. 688 00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:00,153 [mimicking] 689 00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:04,157 I gotta break into Dr. Sickinger's office 690 00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:06,326 at the museum so you can upload his hard drive. 691 00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:09,329 [A Plus] Oh, I can only do that in my lab. 692 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:10,622 [footsteps approaching] 693 00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:13,792 Would you get out of there? Come on, the coast is clear. 694 00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:18,713 Sounds like a three-man job. Hey, uh, why are you all wet...? 695 00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:20,131 [speaking gibberish] 696 00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:22,050 With the wet, okay? 697 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,803 About the three-man job... 698 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:26,888 I know someone. 699 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:29,891 But it's gonna take all my power of persuasion 700 00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:33,520 to convince this beautiful animal lover to commit a level-five felony. 701 00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:38,107 Please help me break into the Dinosaur Fossil Foundation 702 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:39,943 so we can stop the guy who stole Ting Tang 703 00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:42,695 and save my mom before she's sent to prison. 704 00:38:42,946 --> 00:38:44,322 [gasps] 705 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:46,199 Um, okay. 706 00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,369 - Really? - Yeah. 707 00:38:52,372 --> 00:38:53,665 Are those from my mom's garden? 708 00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:54,916 Nah. [Ox barks] 709 00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,209 Shut up. 710 00:38:58,753 --> 00:39:01,089 Right this way, folks. Stick together. 711 00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,179 Okay. 712 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:10,890 You are all in for a very special treat. 713 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:15,311 The rarest, most complete Tyrannosaurus skeleton in existence. 714 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:18,982 It has an estimated value of $100 million. 715 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:20,733 Uh-huh. 716 00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:25,530 Do not touch it. 717 00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:29,033 A hundred million dollars? 718 00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:31,286 You want your koi fish back, you're hot or not. 719 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,912 Don't worry, this plan is gravy. 720 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,041 Everybody, stay close. We're on a tight schedule. 721 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,298 Aw, T. rex, cool. 722 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:44,424 [man] I'm sorry, sir. 723 00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:46,217 No pets allowed. 724 00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,177 He's my Seeing Eye dog. 725 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:50,138 He's facing backwards. 726 00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:52,307 And you're not blind. 727 00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:58,479 I can see again. I can see. It's a miracle. It's a miracle. 728 00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:00,899 - Sir. I mean it, you... - [stammers] Fine. 729 00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:01,983 I'll take him off. 730 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:05,278 [man] Ha. I'm so sorry about all this. 731 00:40:06,613 --> 00:40:07,947 [barks] 732 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:09,365 [growling] 733 00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:14,662 Make him stop doing that. He's a dog, it's a bone. 734 00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:15,872 Do the math. 735 00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:18,124 Wha...? 736 00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,043 Oh. Oh, jeez. 737 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,712 Oxnard Hueneme Carpinteria Ventura, 738 00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:24,464 you get back here right now. 739 00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:27,884 Sir, that is a priceless skeleton unearthed in the badlands of... 740 00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:30,178 [Ace] Oh, please. This thing's lasted millions of years. 741 00:40:30,303 --> 00:40:32,597 It's going to survive a little doggy love nibble. 742 00:40:33,598 --> 00:40:34,807 [rumbling] 743 00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:42,440 Maybe not. 744 00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:45,026 Oh, my! 745 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,199 Okay. Okay, I told you it would work. 746 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,493 Now...Now go. I'll meet you in the Dinosaur Cavern. Go. 747 00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:55,370 [gasping] 748 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:02,961 Security! 749 00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:12,971 [guard] You seen a kid come out here? 750 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:14,681 Why are you guys standing around? 751 00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:16,516 Come on, let's go. Come on. 752 00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:37,161 [screams] 753 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,555 - A plus, are you there? - [A Plus] Affirmative. 754 00:41:55,722 --> 00:41:58,891 Oh, this is so cool. Now I have two friends. 755 00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:01,728 Let's start a band. You play an instrument? 756 00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,479 I used to play the bagpipes, 757 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:05,606 but my legs are too skinny for a kilt. 758 00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:08,484 Come on. I'm in the office, and it's really freaky in here. 759 00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:09,819 Tell me what to do. 760 00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:18,619 [groaning] 761 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,124 - [man 1] Don't let him get away. - [man 2] Over here. 762 00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:25,126 [guard] Bring backup. That's him. 763 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,211 [screams] 764 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:30,798 [screams, grunts] 765 00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:33,676 Ha! 766 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,512 [beeping] 767 00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:39,265 Okay, your program's running. 768 00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:41,017 [A Plus] Oh, one other thing. 769 00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:42,769 What? 770 00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,063 In my instant messenger, 771 00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:48,483 can I move you from contacts to buddies? 772 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:49,984 No. 773 00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,903 - Can I put you on my Fave 5? - No. 774 00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,613 - Myspace add? - Denied. 775 00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:56,657 [A Plus] But we're friends now, right? 776 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,659 Sure, A Plus. We're friends. 777 00:42:59,035 --> 00:43:01,370 And you're a girl, right? 778 00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:02,705 Duh. 779 00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:07,043 So I can call you my girlfriend, right? 780 00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:09,045 Ew. Not. 781 00:43:09,879 --> 00:43:11,089 Fine, be that way. 782 00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:13,216 [guard 1] There he goes, there he goes. 783 00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:15,843 Get out of my way, get out of my way. No, I'm going first. 784 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:18,888 [all grunt] 785 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:20,556 [guard 1] You... 786 00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:29,273 Okay, it's finished. 787 00:43:36,197 --> 00:43:37,949 [guard 1] He's over there. 788 00:43:45,248 --> 00:43:46,833 Beep, beep. 789 00:43:50,419 --> 00:43:51,504 Copy that. 790 00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:05,351 Come here. 791 00:44:10,439 --> 00:44:11,858 [guards groaning] 792 00:44:16,821 --> 00:44:20,658 Aah! Jeez, with the sneaking up on me, okay? 793 00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:23,744 Mission accomplished. Where's Ox? 794 00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:25,538 Well, I don't know, he's a lone wolf. 795 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:27,790 - You're putting that bone back. - Fine, I will. 796 00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:30,001 - [guard] All right, he's in the tunnel. - Let's go. 797 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,878 [guard] Let's go. This way. 798 00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:33,754 [guards grunting, panting] 799 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:46,684 [yelps] 800 00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:51,397 - [guard 1] Stay where you are. - [guard 2] Come on. 801 00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,232 [guard 3] Fan out. 802 00:44:54,233 --> 00:44:55,526 Do you Heely? 803 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,696 [Zebrahead's "Anthem" playing] 804 00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,323 [guard 3] Right. 805 00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:01,908 ♪ Only she don't know it yet ♪ 806 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,659 - Shall we? - Let's do. 807 00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,537 ♪ Get up, get up Let the good times roll ♪ 808 00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:07,747 Fun time's over. 809 00:45:07,955 --> 00:45:09,081 ♪ Take my heart and my soul ♪ 810 00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:10,374 ♪ Get up, get up ♪ 811 00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:11,918 ♪ Let the good times roll ♪ 812 00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:14,086 ♪ On and on and on And on ♪ 813 00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:15,838 ♪ Feel like everybody else ♪ 814 00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:18,633 ♪ Just needs to see Through different eyes ♪ 815 00:45:18,758 --> 00:45:20,676 ♪ From the outside Looking in ♪ 816 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,721 ♪ We shout the anthem Of our lives ♪ 817 00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:25,598 ♪ Just like everybody else ♪ 818 00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:26,641 ♪ I feel the pain...♪ 819 00:45:26,766 --> 00:45:27,642 [Ace] Go. 820 00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,853 ♪ But I'll fight To the bitter end ♪ 821 00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:32,647 Hey, that's my girl. 822 00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,023 Ha. Got you. 823 00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:37,276 - [grunts] - [groans] 824 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:40,488 [Ace] Ha-ha. Got you. 825 00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:41,989 [whistles] 826 00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:46,285 Vamanos! 827 00:45:48,663 --> 00:45:50,498 [Laura] You're not gonna let him keep that. 828 00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:52,041 [Ace] I'll put it back later. 829 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,542 Hey, good job, Ox. 830 00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:55,419 [guard 1] Where are the kids? What's this? 831 00:45:56,045 --> 00:45:58,172 Where did they go? Which way? 832 00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:01,467 - What? Bunch of idiots. - Oh, man. 833 00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:02,843 [all groaning] 834 00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:05,554 [Hollander] Her financial situation is dire, 835 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,348 and, as the bears' keeper, 836 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:10,685 she has ready access to the panda house at any time. 837 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:13,104 The agency's skilled forensics team has concluded 838 00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:15,564 that the only fresh footprints at the crime scene 839 00:46:15,815 --> 00:46:17,316 belong to Mrs. Ventura. 840 00:46:18,234 --> 00:46:19,610 I object. 841 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:29,370 Excuse me. 842 00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:31,289 Who are you? 843 00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:34,625 Ace Ventura Darrow Hutz Junior, Esquire 844 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,794 of the following law firms, one minute. 845 00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:40,214 "Dewey, Fleeceum and Grab, Wiley, Little and Weasel, 846 00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:42,842 Shakem, Down and Hard, Cheap, Ambulance and Chaser. 847 00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:46,262 Imontha Take and Lovitt, Ben Dover and Grunt 848 00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:49,724 and the non-profit Mater Innocentus." 849 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:54,437 My mom is innocent. Your Honor, I represent the defendant. 850 00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,606 Your Honor, this is ridiculous. 851 00:46:57,773 --> 00:46:59,692 He's a 12-year-old behavioral case 852 00:46:59,775 --> 00:47:01,610 and the defendant's son. He can't... 853 00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:04,030 This a bail hearing. Character is pertinent. 854 00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:05,656 Continue, young man. 855 00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:09,243 Ow. That must've hurt and it's only gonna get worse. 856 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,120 Pay attention. 857 00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:22,506 - Thank you, paralegal Laura. - [Laura] You're very welcome. 858 00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:24,633 [grunting] 859 00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:32,516 [Ace farts] 860 00:47:32,641 --> 00:47:34,018 Oh, come on, Your Honor. 861 00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:36,145 [Ace] Pardon me, Your Honor. My bad. 862 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,482 [all murmuring] 863 00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:49,033 Thank you, pretty paralegal Laura. 864 00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,077 [Laura] You're welcome, Mr. Esquire. 865 00:47:51,452 --> 00:47:52,912 Come on, boys. 866 00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:57,166 [crowd continues murmuring] 867 00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:05,091 Drop it. Ungh! Okay. I'm good, I'm good. 868 00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:07,343 [grunting] 869 00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,888 The only footprints that Agent Hollander and his personal CSI... 870 00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:13,599 Complete Stupid Idiots. ...found at the scene were... 871 00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:15,935 Okay. Okay, a little help. 872 00:48:16,102 --> 00:48:17,937 It's getting really heavy, bailiffs. Please! 873 00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,688 [gasps, breathing heavily] 874 00:48:20,856 --> 00:48:22,858 And let me remind you, you're under oath! 875 00:48:22,942 --> 00:48:24,110 Actually, I'm not. 876 00:48:24,276 --> 00:48:26,320 I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! 877 00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,739 Be seated, you maggot, immediately if not sooner! 878 00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:30,324 [panting] 879 00:48:30,533 --> 00:48:31,534 [barks] 880 00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:36,163 Anyway, the only footprints that Ranger Blockhead found in the habitat 881 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:39,125 besides my mom's shoeprints were panda prints. 882 00:48:40,167 --> 00:48:42,503 The average panda weighs 352 pounds 883 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,713 with a body mass index of 21.34. 884 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,257 At over 5 feet in length, 885 00:48:46,549 --> 00:48:48,968 the panda has slightly offset weight distribution. 886 00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:51,512 They use a thumb-like modified sesamoid bone for stability. 887 00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:54,223 And they create a 5-millimeter deep footprint. 888 00:48:54,473 --> 00:48:57,643 But, as you can see, these are 2.3-millimeter deep footprints 889 00:48:57,977 --> 00:49:01,397 that I just created by adding 75 pounds to my weight. 890 00:49:01,814 --> 00:49:03,983 A man weighing 183 pounds 891 00:49:04,150 --> 00:49:07,361 would establish a print depth of 2.3 millimeters. 892 00:49:07,653 --> 00:49:10,865 We are looking for a 183-pound man, not a... 893 00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:13,284 - Mom, how much do you weigh? - A hundred and ten. 894 00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:15,578 - You wanna be free or not? - Uh, 135. 895 00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:17,830 ...hundred and thirty-five-pound woman. 896 00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:20,791 If the footprints don't fit, you must acquit. 897 00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:23,419 [audience clapping] 898 00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:26,046 - Order! Order. - [Ace] Thank you, thank you. 899 00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:28,966 It's Ventura with a V as in victory. 900 00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:31,343 I plead for acquittal, Your Honor. 901 00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:36,348 Game, set, match. Cut, print, moving on and scene. 902 00:49:37,516 --> 00:49:38,934 Let me get this straight. 903 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,438 You trespassed on a federal crime scene. 904 00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:45,065 Or you're just making all this up. 905 00:49:45,357 --> 00:49:46,859 [scoffing] 906 00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:52,198 - Um, well... - Mm-hm. 907 00:49:52,281 --> 00:49:53,991 It's a hypothesis. 908 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,327 A theory, if you will. 909 00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:58,454 Well, that's terrific, tiger. 910 00:49:58,704 --> 00:50:01,999 But right now the grownups have to send your mommy to jail 911 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:06,337 unless, uh, someone else wants to put on a Halloween costume 912 00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:07,922 and vandalize the courtroom. 913 00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:10,216 [audience laughing] 914 00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:14,053 [Barnes bangs gavel] Order. I'm sorry, young man. 915 00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:15,846 It's an interesting theory, 916 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,557 but this case involves an endangered species, 917 00:50:19,058 --> 00:50:20,434 international relations. 918 00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:22,937 Bail is set at $500,000. 919 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:24,396 [Ace groans, audience groans] 920 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,564 [Barnes] Melissa Ventura, 921 00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:27,858 you're remanded to the custody of the state of Florida. 922 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,027 [Barnes bangs gavel, Ox whimpers] 923 00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:33,948 [Melissa] Ace, where did you get all that information? 924 00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:37,284 - You promised that you wouldn't. - But Grandpa said that he... 925 00:50:37,409 --> 00:50:39,119 [Melissa] He carries around a dead dog. 926 00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:41,038 It's not dead, it's just sleeping. 927 00:50:41,247 --> 00:50:42,998 I thought I could help solve the case 928 00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:45,334 by finding Ting Tang or something, 929 00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:47,253 but no one believes me. Not even you. 930 00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:50,673 Of course I do. I just don't wanna lose you. 931 00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:54,301 - Like you lost Dad. - Yeah, like I lost Dad. 932 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,722 I realize now that no matter what I say, 933 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:00,516 you're gonna be who you are. 934 00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:03,435 I want you to know the truth about your dad. 935 00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:07,022 I just didn't talk about him or what he did because I... 936 00:51:08,357 --> 00:51:10,859 I didn't want you to follow in his footsteps. 937 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:12,736 Well, what happened to him? 938 00:51:15,364 --> 00:51:16,615 He was on a case. 939 00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:19,451 Using an ultralight plane, 940 00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:22,413 he was leading a flock of disabled Canadian snow geese 941 00:51:22,538 --> 00:51:25,040 back to their winter breeding ground in Miami. 942 00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,586 [sobbing] They said that he got disoriented, 943 00:51:30,296 --> 00:51:31,589 that he vanished from radar 944 00:51:31,714 --> 00:51:33,674 somewhere over the Bermuda Triangle. 945 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,218 Oh, Ace, oh. 946 00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:40,806 [guard] Time is up, convict, on the bus. 947 00:51:40,973 --> 00:51:44,351 [Melissa] Oh. Oh, I've been saving something for you. 948 00:51:46,312 --> 00:51:47,980 Your father bought this. 949 00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:51,025 He wanted you to have it when you were old enough, 950 00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:52,735 and now you are. 951 00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,779 Look up in the attic. You'll find it there. 952 00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:57,781 No, Mom, I promise, I'll be normal. 953 00:51:57,990 --> 00:51:59,617 Be who you are, Ace! 954 00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:01,827 No, Hollander will find the panda-napper. 955 00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,329 We'll be a family again. 956 00:52:03,579 --> 00:52:04,830 I love you, Ace! 957 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,582 I love you, Mom. 958 00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:18,510 Ace, I'm so sorry. 959 00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:20,763 So, what do we do now? 960 00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:23,682 Nothing. I'm a loser. 961 00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:25,267 It's over. 962 00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:27,353 Sorry about your koi fish. 963 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:29,563 Come on, Ox. 964 00:52:30,689 --> 00:52:33,025 Hey, Laura, where the heck is Bermuda? 965 00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,111 [Laura] I have no idea. 966 00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:54,046 That's not what I think it is, is it? 967 00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:55,881 I guess. 968 00:52:56,632 --> 00:52:58,509 Your mom gave that to you? 969 00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:01,679 Yeah, but it's not important. 970 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,265 What about the animals? 971 00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:08,268 Animals have never brought me anything but trouble. 972 00:53:08,644 --> 00:53:10,562 I gotta be like everyone else, Grandpa. 973 00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:12,189 You can't. 974 00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:14,733 Well, I will if it kills me. 975 00:53:15,401 --> 00:53:19,113 You'll never be like everyone else 'cause you're one in a million. 976 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:21,407 Just like your ancestors. 977 00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:23,784 Just like your father. 978 00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:25,994 Eat your own food, Ox. 979 00:53:27,246 --> 00:53:30,457 I've been trying to get you to figure this out, 980 00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:33,711 but I guess I'm just gonna have to come out and say it. 981 00:53:34,586 --> 00:53:35,629 Say what? 982 00:53:36,088 --> 00:53:37,381 The magic word. 983 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,387 Don't you know what you are? 984 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,182 I'm a...I'm a kid, right? 985 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,102 You're more than that. 986 00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:52,855 You're a pet... 987 00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,026 detective. 988 00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:06,493 - Like my dad? - Yeah. 989 00:54:07,453 --> 00:54:08,704 Well, what was he like? 990 00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:10,414 Just like you. 991 00:54:13,959 --> 00:54:15,252 And you know, 992 00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,464 this thing you threw away? 993 00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:24,011 This is the key to your future. 994 00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:06,345 [gasping] 995 00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:21,151 [whispers] Alrighty, then. 996 00:55:21,777 --> 00:55:25,614 [Tone Loc's "Ace Is In the House" playing] 997 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,658 [Tarzan yell] 998 00:55:33,497 --> 00:55:35,624 ♪ Tricks are for kids And men are for tricks ♪ 999 00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:38,210 ♪ Ace He's the number one pet dick ♪ 1000 00:55:38,293 --> 00:55:40,629 ♪ No need for a fire man When your cat's up a tree ♪ 1001 00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,589 ♪ He's the one that you hire Man ♪ 1002 00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,758 ♪ Down with the ladies As a lover ♪ 1003 00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:46,301 ♪ Undercover ♪ 1004 00:55:46,927 --> 00:55:49,096 ♪ Yo, tell him where he's at My brothers ♪ 1005 00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:50,889 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1006 00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:54,601 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1007 00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:57,312 ♪ Yo Tell 'em where Ace is at ♪ 1008 00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:58,814 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1009 00:55:58,981 --> 00:56:00,607 - Nice outfit. - [kids laugh] 1010 00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:02,109 Let's talk fashion. 1011 00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:05,237 Tara's wearing the latest in the spoiled and shallow collection. 1012 00:56:05,362 --> 00:56:06,822 Love the shoes. Hate you. 1013 00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:08,699 Ventura, our therapist said for us 1014 00:56:08,824 --> 00:56:11,743 to order you to stop inflicting emotional damage on us. 1015 00:56:11,952 --> 00:56:14,663 Franken Berry called. Count Chocula wants his wardrobe back. 1016 00:56:14,746 --> 00:56:17,207 And the sun's out. Get back in your caskets. 1017 00:56:17,499 --> 00:56:19,501 Is there a veterinarian in the house? 1018 00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:22,462 Because these are some sick puppies. Aah! 1019 00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:24,256 Hey, watch the hair. 1020 00:56:24,673 --> 00:56:27,301 Oxnard, I need you! 1021 00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:30,804 {\an8}[barking] 1022 00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:42,065 [sighs] 1023 00:56:42,274 --> 00:56:44,651 Time for another motivational dunking, dork. 1024 00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:46,278 No, but you don't underst... 1025 00:56:46,653 --> 00:56:47,821 [barking] 1026 00:56:50,157 --> 00:56:53,285 Jeez, next time you're late like that, I'm buying a cat. 1027 00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:57,372 [all whimpering] 1028 00:56:58,665 --> 00:57:00,417 Tell your dog to back off, Ventura. 1029 00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:03,045 Are you crazy? I'm not going near him. 1030 00:57:03,128 --> 00:57:04,296 He looks rabid, 1031 00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:06,506 and he can smell your fear. 1032 00:57:09,009 --> 00:57:12,471 You are Sparta! 1033 00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:14,264 [all yelling] 1034 00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,026 What about our alligator? 1035 00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:28,487 I told you I'd find him and I will. 1036 00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:32,282 But right now I've got bigger fish to fry. 1037 00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,117 Oxnard! 1038 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:35,577 [speaking in French] 1039 00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:36,828 Muchacho! 1040 00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:39,665 Oh, and, uh, sorry about that whole buying-a-cat thing. 1041 00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:41,625 Ace? 1042 00:57:43,585 --> 00:57:45,921 Ventura Jr. 1043 00:57:47,589 --> 00:57:48,590 pet detective. 1044 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:51,969 Um, okay. 1045 00:57:52,844 --> 00:57:54,012 What's wrong? 1046 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,723 The question, young Laura, is what is right? 1047 00:57:57,140 --> 00:57:59,393 The answer: everything. 1048 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,521 So you feel like solving that case? 1049 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,564 Thought you gave up? 1050 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:07,192 Even Tiger Woods shanks one from time to time. 1051 00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:09,528 [as Sean Connery] But the past is past. 1052 00:58:09,695 --> 00:58:10,779 Now, A Plus? 1053 00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:13,532 Wow. This table is great. 1054 00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,326 I looked through Sickinger's hard drive. 1055 00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,703 He's a biological researcher 1056 00:58:17,786 --> 00:58:19,871 specializing in non-telegenic 1057 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,665 endangered organisms. 1058 00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:24,876 In English, Mr. Spock. 1059 00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:26,962 He advocates for ugly animals. 1060 00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:30,048 He planned a demonstration for like-minded activists 1061 00:58:30,132 --> 00:58:32,551 at a publicity stop for a famous feline. 1062 00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:39,141 Okay, I didn't understand a word you just said 1063 00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:41,309 except for "ugly animals" and "Sickinger." 1064 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:42,936 He's organizing a protest 1065 00:58:43,061 --> 00:58:45,063 at Tabby the Tabby's autograph session 1066 00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:47,566 at the Animals Actors' studio at Universal, Orlando. 1067 00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:48,692 Oh. 1068 00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:51,153 Well, looks like we're going on a field trip. 1069 00:58:51,361 --> 00:58:52,779 L'chaim! 1070 00:58:54,823 --> 00:58:56,616 I'll take a few of these for the road. 1071 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:57,909 Two percent next time. 1072 00:58:58,076 --> 00:59:00,203 [A Plus] Field trip? Wait, do I need a permission slip? 1073 00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:01,663 [Ace] No, you don't. 1074 00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:04,082 [woman] Have a meow-tastic day. 1075 00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:08,587 Thanks for coming. Tabby says, "Have a meow-tastic day." 1076 00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:13,675 Thanks for coming. Tabby says, "Have a meow-tastic day." 1077 00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:17,179 Thanks for coming. Tabby says, "Have a meow-tastic day." 1078 00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:20,974 Thanks for coming... 1079 00:59:21,516 --> 00:59:22,684 There's Sickinger. 1080 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:25,145 [woman] Tabby says, "Have a meow-tastic day ." 1081 00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:28,398 Thanks for coming. Tabby says, "Have a meow-tastic day." 1082 00:59:28,565 --> 00:59:30,567 [Sickinger] No justice, no peace! 1083 00:59:30,776 --> 00:59:33,028 Equal treatment for ugly species! 1084 00:59:33,195 --> 00:59:34,946 No justice, no peace! 1085 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,573 Equal treatment for ugly species! 1086 00:59:36,656 --> 00:59:38,992 Take him down! He's an eco-terrorist! 1087 00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:43,121 [guard] Cease and desist immediately or I'll be forced to use this! 1088 00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:46,249 Don't even think about moving. Slow down. Just stop. 1089 00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:49,711 [Sickinger] Don't Tase me. Don't Tase me, bro. 1090 00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,380 - [guard] Get him. - No justice, no peace! 1091 00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:54,049 No justice, no... 1092 00:59:55,342 --> 00:59:56,426 Oh. 1093 00:59:57,135 --> 00:59:58,970 [Sickinger coughing] 1094 00:59:59,137 --> 01:00:01,431 We shall not be silenced! 1095 01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:03,183 Be quiet. 1096 01:00:03,308 --> 01:00:06,103 Ugly animals of the world, unite! 1097 01:00:06,812 --> 01:00:09,689 - You have nothing to lose... - This guy is crazy. 1098 01:00:10,065 --> 01:00:11,358 ...but your leashes! 1099 01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:13,610 We shall not be silenced! 1100 01:00:13,819 --> 01:00:15,112 - [taser buzzes] - Ow. 1101 01:00:15,403 --> 01:00:17,823 [woman] Aah! Tabby is gone! 1102 01:00:18,824 --> 01:00:21,118 Find Tabby! Tabby's gone! 1103 01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:23,495 Yikes, Tabby's been nabbied. 1104 01:00:23,662 --> 01:00:26,289 - Tabby! Tabby! - This is bigger than I thought. 1105 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:27,874 Sickinger must be running 1106 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,876 some sort of criminal animal-napping network. 1107 01:00:30,001 --> 01:00:32,754 Oh, the humanity! Tabby! 1108 01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:34,464 I know you don't want to, Ace, 1109 01:00:34,756 --> 01:00:36,216 but you better talk to Hollander. 1110 01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:38,510 - [woman] Tabby's gone! - Now he'll listen to you. 1111 01:00:39,928 --> 01:00:42,848 - You're not listening! - I'm sorry, what? Ha, ha. 1112 01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:45,892 Dr. Sickinger. He was creating a distraction 1113 01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:48,436 at the Animal Actors stadium when Tabby the Tabby vanished. 1114 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:51,648 This is a major criminal network. We have evidence. 1115 01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:53,733 - Tabby the Tabby. - Catnapped. 1116 01:00:53,942 --> 01:00:56,027 - Ting Tang. - You know what happened. 1117 01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:57,070 Princess. 1118 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,655 [Ace] Championship West Highland terrier. 1119 01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:02,117 Her Majesty was stolen from an international dog show 1120 01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:03,743 - last week. - Freedom the Hawk. 1121 01:01:03,827 --> 01:01:06,329 Mascot for the Stars and Stripes Burger Company, 1122 01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:09,666 his freedom was taken away when he was stolen last month. 1123 01:01:09,875 --> 01:01:12,502 They even took Snuggles, the fabric softening bear. 1124 01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:14,713 - They took Snuggles? - Yes. 1125 01:01:14,921 --> 01:01:16,131 And? 1126 01:01:16,464 --> 01:01:19,301 Sickinger's organization is stealing famous animals. 1127 01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:21,845 - Yeah. - Jeez. 1128 01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,431 You're welcome for solving the case, doing your job. 1129 01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:27,350 Need me to wipe your butt for you? I just did. 1130 01:01:28,143 --> 01:01:30,729 So when can I get my mom back? 1131 01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:33,648 Ten, 20 years, I'd say. 1132 01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:35,025 What? 1133 01:01:35,483 --> 01:01:38,195 You see, doorstop, a major investigation like this 1134 01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:40,614 takes on a life all of its own. 1135 01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:42,699 I think your mom's guilty, 1136 01:01:42,908 --> 01:01:45,452 and I spent all morning on CNN saying she is. 1137 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:48,788 Her case is putting this agency on the map, look at all the stuff they gave us. 1138 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,707 And that's just the beginning. Get this: 1139 01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:55,086 CSI: Fish and Wildlife. 1140 01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:57,214 Guess who's gonna play me? 1141 01:01:58,590 --> 01:02:00,091 - Gumby. - [groans] 1142 01:02:00,258 --> 01:02:02,302 I didn't want it to have to come to this, Russell, 1143 01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,596 - but now it's on. - Aha. 1144 01:02:05,347 --> 01:02:06,556 Ha! 1145 01:02:07,933 --> 01:02:08,975 Ha! 1146 01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:11,061 - Out. - With the pushing. 1147 01:02:11,186 --> 01:02:13,313 - Come on, out. - I am gonna get Sickinger, 1148 01:02:13,396 --> 01:02:15,398 solve this case, prove my mom's innocent, 1149 01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:17,442 and show the world what an idiot you are. 1150 01:02:17,609 --> 01:02:19,236 [Hollander] Uh-huh. Nice hair. 1151 01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,988 [all laughing] 1152 01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:28,203 [man] This used to be 1153 01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:31,665 the most pristine tyrannosaurus skeleton on Earth, 1154 01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:35,418 formerly valued at $100 million. 1155 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:38,088 {\an8}[Ace] Ahem, how much is it worth now? Ahem. 1156 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:40,507 {\an8}Substantially less. 1157 01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:44,636 {\an8}Please, do not touch it. 1158 01:02:45,637 --> 01:02:48,223 {\an8}Let's move very carefully to the gift shop. 1159 01:02:55,313 --> 01:02:57,023 I don't think it looks that bad. 1160 01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:58,525 Here, you put it back. 1161 01:02:58,608 --> 01:02:59,818 You put it back. 1162 01:03:30,849 --> 01:03:34,227 - [Sickinger] Yes? - Dr. Sickinger, I presume. 1163 01:03:34,352 --> 01:03:37,105 [stammering] What? Wait. Uh, Uh... 1164 01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:40,025 Who are you? 1165 01:03:40,775 --> 01:03:43,903 {\an8}Ace Ventura Jr., pet detective. 1166 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,781 Ha, ha. You're kidding me, right? 1167 01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,575 Do I look like I'm kidding? 1168 01:03:52,037 --> 01:03:53,997 Oh, I get it. Ha. 1169 01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:56,916 Young supporters of the cause, yes. 1170 01:03:57,208 --> 01:03:58,877 Oh, it's brilliant. Yes, yes. 1171 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,880 You're never too young for political mobilization, huh? 1172 01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:03,965 We don't wanna join your movement. 1173 01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:07,635 Look, buddy, my mom's in jail because of you, 1174 01:04:07,802 --> 01:04:09,679 so tell us where the panda is 1175 01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:11,765 so we can get him back to the zoo. 1176 01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:15,685 If I were going to steal an animal from the zoo, 1177 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:19,481 the panda is the last one I...I'd take. 1178 01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:23,485 I don't think you understand. 1179 01:04:23,902 --> 01:04:25,320 [guitar twangs] 1180 01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:28,239 This is the Madagascan aye-aye. 1181 01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:29,616 [groans] 1182 01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:32,577 The proboscis monkey. 1183 01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:35,288 - Big nose. - Ew. 1184 01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,999 [Sickinger] Hmph. The Chinese paddlefish. 1185 01:04:38,917 --> 01:04:40,627 - Oh. - Ugh. 1186 01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,630 [Sickinger] The marabou stork. 1187 01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:45,632 [quacking] 1188 01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:49,594 Yeah, all of them endangered. Yet no one's ever heard of them. 1189 01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:52,389 - You know why? - No. 1190 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:55,558 They're hideous. 1191 01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:57,977 Ugly. 1192 01:04:58,937 --> 01:05:01,189 - Butt ugly, actually. - You got it there. 1193 01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:03,691 - [Sickinger] Whoops! Ha, ha. - Ugh. 1194 01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:05,860 - Sorry, that one's from vacation. - [retching] 1195 01:05:05,944 --> 01:05:07,779 Ace, shoot me now. 1196 01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:11,116 Lights, ha, lights. Ahem. 1197 01:05:12,659 --> 01:05:16,538 And this has what to do with the panda? 1198 01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:18,373 Well, everything. 1199 01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:22,669 We put all of these "cute" creatures in zoos 1200 01:05:22,961 --> 01:05:27,173 and then we spend insane amounts of money to protect them. 1201 01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:29,300 And for what, huh? 1202 01:05:30,552 --> 01:05:31,678 [gagging] 1203 01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:34,848 I started the PandaFanatic website to, uh... 1204 01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:38,393 To, uh, get attention for my, uh, cause. 1205 01:05:39,144 --> 01:05:40,228 That's all. 1206 01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:45,567 I didn't kidnap Ting Tang 1207 01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:48,027 or any of those other animals. 1208 01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:51,823 All species of animals, including the ugly ones, 1209 01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:54,534 should be treated with the same respect as the cute ones, 1210 01:05:54,826 --> 01:05:56,327 like pandas... 1211 01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:01,541 I think I just busted this case wide open. 1212 01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:04,210 Amigos. 1213 01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:06,463 Vamanos! 1214 01:06:08,256 --> 01:06:09,299 [tires skid] 1215 01:06:09,382 --> 01:06:11,009 I...I have a car. 1216 01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:14,762 [Laura] Ace, so, what's going on? 1217 01:06:15,013 --> 01:06:17,765 Well, here's the plot up until now. 1218 01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:20,852 Our perpetrator is stealing famous animals, 1219 01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:23,146 and there's none more famous than Calypso. 1220 01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:25,440 He played the hero unicorn in the epic trilogy 1221 01:06:25,523 --> 01:06:26,941 they shot in New Zealand. 1222 01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,861 His owners are doing a benefit magic performance today, 1223 01:06:30,069 --> 01:06:31,321 and I got a feeling our thief 1224 01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:33,823 is gonna try and steal him there. Punch it. 1225 01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:38,203 [tires squealing] 1226 01:06:38,536 --> 01:06:41,915 Here's the plan. Doc, you watch the exits. Ox, 1227 01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:45,627 you watch doc. 1228 01:06:46,211 --> 01:06:47,128 Let's go. 1229 01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,756 [cooing] 1230 01:06:50,089 --> 01:06:54,719 [Ace] Okay, when we get past this, A Plus, Laura, split up. 1231 01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:56,596 Whoever finds Calypso, call in. 1232 01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,515 We'll stake out the perpetrators 1233 01:06:58,848 --> 01:07:00,642 and wait for them to reveal themselves. 1234 01:07:02,894 --> 01:07:06,231 [audience cheering, applauding] 1235 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:07,982 I've been looking around here all day. 1236 01:07:08,107 --> 01:07:09,943 I...I can't find Calypso. 1237 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:11,653 He's right over there. 1238 01:07:11,986 --> 01:07:13,279 For my next illusion... 1239 01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:16,115 - Ooh, magic show. - [magician] ...I need a volunteer. 1240 01:07:16,491 --> 01:07:17,909 [audience] Me, me, me! 1241 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:20,036 [magician] A volunteer, anyone. [Ace] Me. Here. Me. 1242 01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,872 - [magician] Who wants in the show? - [Ace] Pick me. Me. 1243 01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:25,542 - You. How about you? - No, not her. 1244 01:07:25,708 --> 01:07:28,378 No, no, no, me. Wanna-be magic man, right here. 1245 01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,255 - Anyone else? - [Ace] No, me. He-he, me. 1246 01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:32,006 Sure, son. Okay, go inspect the box. 1247 01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:34,175 You'll see that there are no mirrors. 1248 01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:37,887 There are no strings. There are no trap doors. 1249 01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:40,848 - What's he doing? - I don't know. 1250 01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:43,851 Ace Irwin Ventura Jr., at your service. 1251 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:45,311 [magician] This is as real as it gets. 1252 01:07:45,436 --> 01:07:48,565 - Don't worry, you'll be okay. - [magician] This is what I do. 1253 01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:52,068 - Are there any back doors? - There are no back doors. 1254 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:54,779 - Are there any mirrors? - No mirrors. 1255 01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:56,864 All right, go on. 1256 01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:59,784 - Stranger danger. - Thank you. Give him a big hand. 1257 01:08:00,618 --> 01:08:01,828 Raise the box. 1258 01:08:02,328 --> 01:08:04,330 You won't believe what you're about to see. 1259 01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:06,291 Everyone remain calm. 1260 01:08:08,543 --> 01:08:11,087 One, two, three! 1261 01:08:14,882 --> 01:08:16,050 [audience cheering] 1262 01:08:22,974 --> 01:08:25,518 And now close the box. 1263 01:08:25,643 --> 01:08:27,395 Raise the box, gentlemen. 1264 01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:29,856 I'm a professional, so nobody try this at home. 1265 01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:31,441 And now 1266 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,401 Calypso. 1267 01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,904 [audience gasps] 1268 01:08:40,992 --> 01:08:42,327 What the...? 1269 01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:46,247 - [girl 1] What happened? - [girl 2] My God. 1270 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:47,582 [man] Where's my horse? 1271 01:08:48,666 --> 01:08:49,751 Where's Calypso? 1272 01:08:49,959 --> 01:08:52,629 - That horse gets 6 million a picture. - Where's Calypso? 1273 01:08:52,754 --> 01:08:54,964 - Houdini, I want him back now. - That kid right there. 1274 01:08:55,256 --> 01:08:57,008 The volunteer. He must know something. 1275 01:08:57,133 --> 01:09:00,345 Me? No. Where would I be keeping a horse that big, in my pocket? 1276 01:09:00,595 --> 01:09:01,596 Where's Calypso? 1277 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,098 I don't know, your mother's house? 1278 01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,850 - No, no, he's just joking. - Come on. 1279 01:09:06,517 --> 01:09:08,394 - Just get him. - [man] Hey. Hey, kid. 1280 01:09:08,519 --> 01:09:10,021 - Where are you going? - [woman] Stop. 1281 01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:11,898 - [Ace] Slow down, Simba. - [man] Kid. 1282 01:09:12,106 --> 01:09:13,775 [Laura] Ace, Calypso's really gone? 1283 01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:16,152 [Ace] Yeah, my plan worked. [A Plus] What plan? 1284 01:09:16,277 --> 01:09:17,987 I fed him one of your homing devices. 1285 01:09:18,112 --> 01:09:20,782 Strawberry gummy, he loved it. Now he's gonna lead us 1286 01:09:20,865 --> 01:09:22,283 to whoever's behind all this treachery. 1287 01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:25,703 - [man] Get him. - [woman] Stop. There they are. 1288 01:09:25,870 --> 01:09:27,872 [Ace] Doc. Sickinger, start the car. 1289 01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,499 I think they have rabies! 1290 01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:30,833 [indistinct yelling] 1291 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:33,795 Here. Dog. Now. Car, car. 1292 01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:36,881 - Seatbelts. - [Ace] Seatbelts? 1293 01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:38,800 What, are you kidding me? Let's go. 1294 01:09:38,883 --> 01:09:40,093 [Sickinger] Okay, here we go. 1295 01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:42,303 Where's my horse? 1296 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:48,393 Oh, they're getting off the highway at Palm Grove. 1297 01:09:48,518 --> 01:09:50,812 That's where the rich kids from our school live. 1298 01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,438 But where exactly? 1299 01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:54,482 My invitation. 1300 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:55,900 [mimicking] My invitation. 1301 01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:00,238 You're invited to my birthday party... 1302 01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:04,283 ...this Saturday at 3421 Tropicana Avenue. 1303 01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:09,288 Okay, party people, suit up. 1304 01:10:10,289 --> 01:10:12,291 Party. I haven't partied since '99. 1305 01:10:12,458 --> 01:10:13,668 [Ace] Ox, vamanos. 1306 01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:14,961 [barks] 1307 01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,590 - [Sickinger] Here? - [A Plus] No, wait. 1308 01:10:19,674 --> 01:10:20,842 No, up there. Left. 1309 01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:23,928 No, no, wait. Straight. Okay, stop. Stop right here. 1310 01:10:24,053 --> 01:10:26,097 - [Sickinger] Stop? Stop? - [A Plus] No, no. Stop. 1311 01:10:26,180 --> 01:10:28,433 Stop here. Stop. I'm stopping, backseat driver. 1312 01:10:36,482 --> 01:10:38,818 All right, Laura and I are going inside. 1313 01:10:38,943 --> 01:10:41,654 If we're not back by 3:00, implement... 1314 01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:46,701 Plan B. 1315 01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:50,246 Synchronize watches. Let's go. 1316 01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,877 A red carpet? What is this, an awards show? 1317 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,462 Where's Joan Rivers when you need her? 1318 01:10:57,545 --> 01:10:59,922 Hey, you, make sure no weirdoes get in here. 1319 01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:02,842 Talk about filthy stinking rich. Where's the back of the line? 1320 01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,136 You know where the line is? How's the wife and kids? 1321 01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:07,597 - What's the word I'm looking for? - [Laura] It's very regal. 1322 01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,183 - Exactly. Egomaniacal. - [man] Invitation, please. 1323 01:11:10,641 --> 01:11:12,310 - Thank you. - Holy Shaq. 1324 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:14,729 How many puberties have you gone through? 1325 01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:17,273 [man] All right. 1326 01:11:17,565 --> 01:11:19,817 Thank you. Wear the wristband at all times. 1327 01:11:21,736 --> 01:11:25,323 - Whoa. Invite only, kid. - He's my date. 1328 01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:29,076 - What, did you lose a bet? - Oh, ha, ha, ha! 1329 01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:30,411 You're killing me, Smalls. 1330 01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,914 How about you pick on somebody your own size? 1331 01:11:33,331 --> 01:11:34,290 Like Sasquatch. 1332 01:11:34,665 --> 01:11:36,250 - Now band me. - [man] Yeah. 1333 01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:38,961 Gray areas are off-limits. 1334 01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:40,463 [Ace] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1335 01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:42,381 [metal detector beeping] 1336 01:11:43,674 --> 01:11:45,843 - [man] Electronic device. - Here. 1337 01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:47,970 Don't touchy the hair. 1338 01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:49,514 I haven't been treated this badly 1339 01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:52,058 since I got sick in a country with socialized medicine. 1340 01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:56,062 - ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ You're like a Rolling Stone ♪ 1341 01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:59,273 - ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ To take you on your own ♪ 1342 01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:00,858 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1343 01:12:01,025 --> 01:12:02,944 ♪ I'm a look and you've...♪ 1344 01:12:03,277 --> 01:12:05,363 Ten thousand shares of Exxon stock. 1345 01:12:05,822 --> 01:12:06,864 Awesome. 1346 01:12:07,031 --> 01:12:08,241 I got a Rolex. 1347 01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:11,661 Didn't you bring him a gift? 1348 01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:13,704 [Ace] Yeah, I got him the one thing he doesn't have. 1349 01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:15,081 - What? - Nothing. 1350 01:12:16,415 --> 01:12:18,334 Holy real estate. 1351 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:21,212 ♪ The man is in the ocean Set to work it out ♪ 1352 01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:22,380 ♪ Shout ♪ 1353 01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,966 This place probably has its own ZIP code. 1354 01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,510 We're gonna need an exit visa to get out of here. 1355 01:12:27,593 --> 01:12:29,804 [boy] Best party ever. Bananas. 1356 01:12:29,929 --> 01:12:31,931 [crowd gasps] 1357 01:12:32,139 --> 01:12:34,725 [guard] Out of the way, please. Make room for Mr. Pennington. 1358 01:12:34,976 --> 01:12:37,436 - Ooh, it's Mr. Big-Scary-Billionaire-Man. - [guard] Get out of the way. 1359 01:12:40,314 --> 01:12:43,818 Pirates of the Caribbean is the other side of town, sport. 1360 01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:45,319 Don't touch me. 1361 01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:47,321 [guard] Stay back, people. Thank you. 1362 01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:49,323 - Out of the way, please. - He's mean. 1363 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:52,869 Young ladies and gentlemen, 1364 01:12:54,245 --> 01:12:57,206 may I direct your attention to the sky. 1365 01:12:58,541 --> 01:12:59,584 [helicopter whirring] 1366 01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,382 The Pennington Estate now proudly presents 1367 01:13:06,507 --> 01:13:08,467 the moment we've all been waiting for. 1368 01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:10,011 Put your hands together, 1369 01:13:10,261 --> 01:13:14,974 and welcome my son, Pennington Jr. 1370 01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:19,353 [crowd screaming] 1371 01:13:22,565 --> 01:13:23,524 Wow. 1372 01:13:23,691 --> 01:13:25,484 - [Pennington] Hi, everybody, hi. - Big deal. 1373 01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:27,862 Hi, how are you? Great to see you. 1374 01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:29,322 Thanks for coming. 1375 01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:34,952 - How are we gonna get inside? - Ooh, I know. 1376 01:13:35,077 --> 01:13:36,370 Let's crash into the back door 1377 01:13:36,454 --> 01:13:38,414 in our million-dollar personal helicopter. 1378 01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:39,457 Ace. 1379 01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,709 - [Pennington] ...glad to be here. - I'm working on it. 1380 01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:44,128 [Pennington] Hey, Laura, glad you could make it. 1381 01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:47,840 - Hi, how are you? - [crowd continues screaming] 1382 01:13:48,132 --> 01:13:51,427 Well, I asked my father for the best party ever, 1383 01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:52,845 and, as you can see, 1384 01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:55,848 what a Pennington wants, a Pennington gets. 1385 01:13:55,973 --> 01:13:56,974 [chuckles] 1386 01:13:57,224 --> 01:13:59,435 - So for the next four hours... - I got it. Let's go. 1387 01:13:59,560 --> 01:14:00,937 ...do not embarrass yourselves 1388 01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:03,940 by breaking any of the following rules. Dad? 1389 01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:10,071 Gifts in the party bags are not tax deductible. 1390 01:14:10,655 --> 01:14:13,157 Do not take any photos. 1391 01:14:14,325 --> 01:14:16,786 Anyone found to be outside of the designated areas 1392 01:14:16,869 --> 01:14:20,039 will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. 1393 01:14:21,582 --> 01:14:23,042 Have fun, kids. 1394 01:14:24,794 --> 01:14:27,213 [Pennington] We'll cut the cake in 45 minutes. 1395 01:14:27,672 --> 01:14:30,549 Until then, happy birthday to me. 1396 01:14:30,925 --> 01:14:32,385 [crowd cheering] 1397 01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:38,975 Ace. 1398 01:14:39,350 --> 01:14:41,060 [speaking indistinctly] I'm thinking. 1399 01:14:42,186 --> 01:14:44,105 - Down here. - Yeah. 1400 01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:48,859 Ow! Watch the hair. 1401 01:14:57,326 --> 01:14:58,744 [rustling] 1402 01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,298 Will you stop spinning? I'm dizzy. 1403 01:15:12,008 --> 01:15:13,217 Let's go. 1404 01:15:13,551 --> 01:15:16,804 - Ooh, the tunnel of love. - In your dreams, Ace. 1405 01:15:16,929 --> 01:15:18,389 How did you know about that? 1406 01:15:18,556 --> 01:15:20,433 Oxnard. Big mouth. 1407 01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:22,601 I got it. 1408 01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:31,694 [Ace] Follow me. 1409 01:15:45,332 --> 01:15:47,001 Who's the man? Tss. 1410 01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:54,050 They could have seen you. 1411 01:16:04,894 --> 01:16:06,353 [sniffing] 1412 01:16:07,188 --> 01:16:08,773 Why do you keep doing that? 1413 01:16:08,856 --> 01:16:10,357 That's just how I roll, baby. 1414 01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:11,525 [sniffing] 1415 01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:18,699 If Scooby-Doo has taught me anything, 1416 01:16:18,824 --> 01:16:21,535 it's that one of these books will activate a secret door. 1417 01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,870 [Ace sniffing] 1418 01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:30,628 Earthy, sweet, 1419 01:16:30,878 --> 01:16:33,923 a strong bouquet of bamboo with a slight infusion of crocus. 1420 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:38,344 Just a touch of wild grass and butt. 1421 01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:42,723 I smell panda poop. 1422 01:16:44,558 --> 01:16:45,601 Excellent year. 1423 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:47,603 [sniffing] 1424 01:16:48,395 --> 01:16:49,480 [continues sniffing] 1425 01:16:53,651 --> 01:16:54,860 [screams] 1426 01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:02,785 How did you know that? 1427 01:17:03,119 --> 01:17:04,453 I'm a meddling kid. 1428 01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:12,336 [sniffs deeply, gasps] 1429 01:17:13,212 --> 01:17:17,007 Dookie marks the spot. Must be Poo-mas. 1430 01:17:17,258 --> 01:17:19,135 Or Jimmy Poo. 1431 01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:20,970 The Penningtons think they're smart, 1432 01:17:21,178 --> 01:17:22,680 but they're quite "poo-pid." 1433 01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:24,723 We've caught them brown-footed. 1434 01:17:24,974 --> 01:17:26,559 They really stepped in it. 1435 01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:28,811 Okay, Ace, enough with this crap. 1436 01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:30,521 Wha...? Oh. 1437 01:17:31,188 --> 01:17:33,732 You said crap. You did. Okay, fine, fine. 1438 01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:37,611 [dialing, ringing] 1439 01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:39,697 [man] National Bureau of Fish and Wildlife. 1440 01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:40,906 How can I direct your call? 1441 01:17:41,115 --> 01:17:44,201 Oh, yes, um, I have an anonymous tip for Agent Hollander. 1442 01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:47,663 Is he currently on duty? Ha, ha. 1443 01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,540 [watch beeps] 1444 01:17:49,665 --> 01:17:51,625 Uh, gum. I need a piece of gum. 1445 01:17:51,709 --> 01:17:52,960 Here. 1446 01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:09,268 We received a tip instructing us to come to this address. 1447 01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:11,061 From whom? 1448 01:18:11,896 --> 01:18:13,022 Anonymous. 1449 01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:16,817 The tip said that the case of the missing panda cub 1450 01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:18,235 - has been solved. - Oof! 1451 01:18:18,569 --> 01:18:20,404 You're the one who called in the tip? 1452 01:18:20,738 --> 01:18:23,490 That's it, short stack, now you're in big trouble. 1453 01:18:23,616 --> 01:18:25,534 No, no, no. He's in big trouble. 1454 01:18:25,659 --> 01:18:29,413 We found these shoes in his closet. 1455 01:18:29,496 --> 01:18:33,959 It proves that my mom didn't steal the panda. 1456 01:18:36,128 --> 01:18:37,338 I think I understand. 1457 01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:42,885 This cartoon has taken advantage of my son's hospitality. 1458 01:18:43,302 --> 01:18:46,305 He's found some cheap costume store haberdashery, 1459 01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:49,683 snuck it in as a birthday gift and planted it in my home. 1460 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:52,102 Now he expects you to believe that I used these 1461 01:18:52,353 --> 01:18:54,688 ridiculous things in the commission of a crime? 1462 01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:55,814 [laughs] 1463 01:18:56,023 --> 01:18:56,982 Yes. 1464 01:18:57,441 --> 01:19:00,569 Can you believe this guy? I mean, he's pathetic. 1465 01:19:00,694 --> 01:19:02,446 I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. 1466 01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:05,241 No pun intended. He's been trying to save his mom 1467 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,201 with all sorts of crazy theories. 1468 01:19:07,368 --> 01:19:08,369 Get rid of these. 1469 01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:12,539 He came by the NBFW command center just the other day. 1470 01:19:12,623 --> 01:19:14,500 - National Bureau of Fish and Wildlife? - Yeah. 1471 01:19:14,792 --> 01:19:16,210 I play golf with your director. 1472 01:19:16,460 --> 01:19:19,129 You'll have to join us next time, Agent...? 1473 01:19:19,296 --> 01:19:21,757 Hollander. Uh, Russell Hollander. That would be great. 1474 01:19:21,882 --> 01:19:24,009 How's the investigation coming? I'd read... 1475 01:19:24,134 --> 01:19:27,471 Hey. Hey, hometown. You're not here to be interviewed. 1476 01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:30,224 Now arrest this guy and let my mom out. 1477 01:19:30,683 --> 01:19:33,686 Uh, would you excuse me for one second, Mr. Pennington? 1478 01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:35,437 Call me Pennington. 1479 01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:39,733 Don't you worry, Ventura. I'm gonna make an arrest. 1480 01:19:39,942 --> 01:19:42,319 Two of them, in fact. Because you're out of control. 1481 01:19:42,403 --> 01:19:45,364 You wanna see out of control? Let's go, right now. Ha. 1482 01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:49,493 Ha. I win, bedhead. Take these two in. 1483 01:19:49,743 --> 01:19:50,869 Ex-squeeze me? 1484 01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,496 [stammering] 1485 01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:55,708 You're both locked up until the panda case is completed. 1486 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,668 We don't need any more distractions. 1487 01:19:58,002 --> 01:19:59,169 [watch beeping] 1488 01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,422 - Three o'clock. - [tires screeching] 1489 01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:02,923 What the hell is that? 1490 01:20:03,007 --> 01:20:04,133 Plan B. 1491 01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,511 - [car horn honking] - [Sickinger] Sorry. Sorry. 1492 01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:11,181 - Ah. Panda song. - [Sickinger] Here we go. 1493 01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:13,350 [panda bleating on recording] 1494 01:20:13,684 --> 01:20:15,853 Sweet sound of a mother panda calling her young. 1495 01:20:16,020 --> 01:20:16,937 Hello. 1496 01:20:17,980 --> 01:20:21,150 Oops. Uh, we're out of power. The house is clean. 1497 01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:25,863 Check around back. Okay. 1498 01:20:28,032 --> 01:20:30,659 [Hollander] They're small. Why'd you let them go? 1499 01:20:30,784 --> 01:20:32,953 - They're little people. - [Ace] Turn it up. Go. 1500 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:35,539 Ting Tang will hear his mom calling him. 1501 01:20:35,914 --> 01:20:37,333 [Hollander] Catch up with them. 1502 01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:41,378 Let's go, go. Get the guy with the boom box. 1503 01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:43,380 [Ox barking] 1504 01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:49,011 [Ace] Over there, point them over there. 1505 01:20:50,220 --> 01:20:51,513 [Sickinger shouting] 1506 01:21:04,777 --> 01:21:06,070 Congratulations. 1507 01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,614 You found my horse stalls. 1508 01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:10,699 [Hollander] I apologize for the misunderstanding. 1509 01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:13,160 Just get him off my property. 1510 01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:15,788 Silence. They're all here. 1511 01:21:16,121 --> 01:21:18,248 Come on, half-pint, I'm getting tired of this. 1512 01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:19,708 Ha! 1513 01:21:24,254 --> 01:21:26,632 Don't go near those doors! 1514 01:21:30,177 --> 01:21:31,178 [gasps] 1515 01:21:31,595 --> 01:21:33,597 [Ace] Princess. Tabby. 1516 01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:35,015 [meows] 1517 01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:40,604 Otter. Piggy. 1518 01:21:45,692 --> 01:21:48,028 Tortoise, Freedom the Hawk, be free. 1519 01:21:49,488 --> 01:21:50,572 Possum. 1520 01:21:51,615 --> 01:21:53,033 [inaudible] 1521 01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:57,287 [meows] 1522 01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,039 [whimpers] 1523 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:11,009 Ting Tang, I found you. Touchdown. 1524 01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,137 Go to the haystack. I'll be right back. 1525 01:22:15,556 --> 01:22:17,307 - [Hollander] Oh, no, you don't. - Ha. 1526 01:22:17,433 --> 01:22:18,559 [hoof beats approaching] 1527 01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:26,400 Come to me, my jungle friends. 1528 01:22:30,988 --> 01:22:32,239 [whoops] 1529 01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:47,463 [screaming] 1530 01:22:51,008 --> 01:22:52,926 Vámonos amigos! 1531 01:22:55,471 --> 01:22:57,931 You had everything, sir. Why did you do this? 1532 01:23:00,392 --> 01:23:03,312 I decided to start an animal collection. 1533 01:23:04,271 --> 01:23:06,648 I wanted only the most famous pieces. 1534 01:23:06,773 --> 01:23:08,859 Smooth ride for stolen property, Pennington. 1535 01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:11,069 And what a Pennington wants, 1536 01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:14,781 a Pennington gets. 1537 01:23:15,449 --> 01:23:17,242 Mr. Pennington Sr., sir, 1538 01:23:18,035 --> 01:23:19,244 you're under arrest. 1539 01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:25,876 [imitates dice shaking] 1540 01:23:26,043 --> 01:23:27,044 Whack! 1541 01:23:27,878 --> 01:23:28,795 Yahtzee. 1542 01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:30,797 Ooh, what's that on your tie? 1543 01:23:33,884 --> 01:23:34,968 I win. 1544 01:23:36,303 --> 01:23:37,638 Exit stage left. 1545 01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:40,432 [Hollander] Come on. 1546 01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:44,186 [bird] He's going to jail, he's going to jail. 1547 01:23:44,978 --> 01:23:48,106 Ace, you're a really great pet detective. 1548 01:23:48,482 --> 01:23:50,192 [stammering] 1549 01:23:50,526 --> 01:23:52,236 Well, what can I say? Ha. 1550 01:23:52,569 --> 01:23:54,238 Like father, like son. 1551 01:23:54,738 --> 01:23:58,283 [gulps] I'm good. Okay. Let's go. 1552 01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:02,287 [Laura] So, um, when are you gonna find my koi fish? 1553 01:24:02,579 --> 01:24:04,289 I just solved a huge case. 1554 01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:06,500 I'm working on it. 1555 01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:18,387 Nothing to see here. Just one of your fellow classmates 1556 01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:22,266 taking down a powerful billionaire for stealing celebrity animals. 1557 01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:23,976 Hey, I know where you're going. 1558 01:24:24,059 --> 01:24:27,229 And my future license plate is going to be "A-C-E Jr." 1559 01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:28,647 [scoffs] 1560 01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:34,778 Where's he going? 1561 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:37,489 Like father, like son. 1562 01:24:45,289 --> 01:24:48,125 Like father, like son. Come on. 1563 01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,336 You guys want your pets or not? Come on. 1564 01:24:51,461 --> 01:24:53,130 [kids clamoring] 1565 01:24:57,843 --> 01:24:59,803 [girl 1] Let's go get our pets. 1566 01:25:09,062 --> 01:25:10,439 [girl 2] Mr. Chompers. 1567 01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:12,941 - You stole our pets? - [Ace] D-d-d. 1568 01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:16,278 I'm the pet detective here. He stole your pets. 1569 01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:18,113 He wants to be just like his dad. 1570 01:25:18,989 --> 01:25:20,490 He wants to be just like his dad: 1571 01:25:21,158 --> 01:25:23,285 cruel, shallow and selfish. 1572 01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:25,954 You forgot "filthy rich" and "egomaniacal." 1573 01:25:26,246 --> 01:25:28,457 We Penningtons can have whatever we want. 1574 01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:29,791 Oh, you're quite a pair. 1575 01:25:29,958 --> 01:25:31,668 But this time an Ace trumps a pair. 1576 01:25:31,835 --> 01:25:33,128 [laughing] 1577 01:25:33,378 --> 01:25:35,380 You did not just make that lame joke. 1578 01:25:35,505 --> 01:25:37,633 Oh, I did, sir. And you and your dad 1579 01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,552 are going to look great in matching orange jumpsuits. 1580 01:25:40,719 --> 01:25:41,928 [laughs] 1581 01:25:42,054 --> 01:25:43,430 You think you're a good detective? 1582 01:25:44,598 --> 01:25:45,974 Solve this. 1583 01:25:51,396 --> 01:25:52,689 The fish 1584 01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:55,817 is about to disappear. 1585 01:25:56,860 --> 01:25:58,028 [gasps] 1586 01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:01,573 - Greeny. - No. 1587 01:26:02,449 --> 01:26:04,076 Come on, I need help. 1588 01:26:05,369 --> 01:26:08,163 - Open his mouth, I'm going in. - [Sickinger] No, Ace. 1589 01:26:08,372 --> 01:26:10,082 The five of you are going on a mission. 1590 01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:12,584 Couple of you probably aren't coming back. 1591 01:26:13,251 --> 01:26:15,671 - [squelching] - [all gasp] 1592 01:26:15,962 --> 01:26:17,047 Ace, be careful. 1593 01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:21,551 - What the...? - Mazel tov. 1594 01:26:22,594 --> 01:26:24,137 [Laura] Easy, Mr. Chompers. 1595 01:26:25,514 --> 01:26:27,182 That's where my hair dryer went. 1596 01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,060 [squelching continues] 1597 01:26:30,477 --> 01:26:33,689 [Ace] His mouth is closing. People, his mouth is closing. 1598 01:26:33,855 --> 01:26:35,524 I think I got him. I got him. 1599 01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:38,193 [Sickinger] Careful. Careful. 1600 01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:42,030 [Ace] Ew. I think I just squeezed his liver. That's disgusting. 1601 01:26:42,823 --> 01:26:45,534 - [Ace groans] - [crowd shouting] 1602 01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:47,661 - [crowd] Yeah! - Greeny. 1603 01:26:56,920 --> 01:26:58,296 [slow motion] No! 1604 01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:07,514 [crowd cheering] 1605 01:27:11,893 --> 01:27:13,895 [Rex] Way to go, Sparky. 1606 01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:16,982 Grandpa, what are you doing here? 1607 01:27:17,274 --> 01:27:19,818 Oh, I'm taking 10 minutes off from retirement 1608 01:27:19,943 --> 01:27:22,028 to help you wrap up your first case. 1609 01:27:22,279 --> 01:27:23,280 Thanks, Grandpa. 1610 01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:26,616 Hey, Sparky. Good going. Good Sparky. 1611 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:29,828 I told you, I told you he was sleeping. 1612 01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:33,165 Who had the hamster? 1613 01:27:33,457 --> 01:27:36,126 And the snake and the turtle and... 1614 01:27:36,293 --> 01:27:38,587 - Thanks, Ace. - It's what I do. 1615 01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:43,425 Now, uh, Laura, um, since I, uh, solved your case, 1616 01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:47,471 there was something I, uh, kind of wanted to tell you. 1617 01:27:48,013 --> 01:27:49,097 What? 1618 01:27:50,265 --> 01:27:51,141 Um... 1619 01:27:51,892 --> 01:27:56,938 Well, it all kind of started when I met you in third grade... 1620 01:27:57,063 --> 01:27:58,648 Don't be shy, Ace. 1621 01:27:58,982 --> 01:28:00,192 You like me. 1622 01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:02,819 You have a crush on me. 1623 01:28:03,779 --> 01:28:04,946 No. 1624 01:28:05,697 --> 01:28:07,407 I have a huge crush on you. 1625 01:28:08,825 --> 01:28:10,285 That's what I just said. 1626 01:28:15,499 --> 01:28:17,417 [fireworks, birds chirping] 1627 01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:21,004 I'm good, I'm good now. 1628 01:28:21,171 --> 01:28:24,174 All right, um, let me just get my sea legs this way. 1629 01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:25,717 ♪ ...wanna feel ♪ 1630 01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:27,844 ♪ Wanna really know ♪ 1631 01:28:28,345 --> 01:28:30,013 ♪ Gotta be the one...♪ 1632 01:28:30,347 --> 01:28:34,226 I am Ace Ventura Jr., pet detective. 1633 01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,813 And I declare all of your cases 1634 01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:41,107 clo-oh-oh-oh-oh-osed. 1635 01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:44,027 [all cheering] 1636 01:28:45,779 --> 01:28:47,656 - [all chanting] Ace. Ace. Ace. - Thank you. 1637 01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:07,509 [Rex] Ace Jr... 1638 01:29:09,427 --> 01:29:10,887 you're the man. 1639 01:29:11,096 --> 01:29:12,597 Actually, you know what, Grandpa? 1640 01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:16,142 You're right. I am the man. Whoo! 1641 01:29:16,476 --> 01:29:19,145 Get over here, Laura. Whoo! 1642 01:29:19,855 --> 01:29:21,731 ♪ I wanna really know ♪ 1643 01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:24,276 ♪ Gotta be the one Now ♪ 1644 01:29:24,401 --> 01:29:27,404 ♪ To tell you That you'll forever shine ♪ 1645 01:29:27,571 --> 01:29:29,823 ♪ I wanna feel ♪ 1646 01:29:30,240 --> 01:29:32,242 ♪ I wanna see the sun ♪ 1647 01:29:32,742 --> 01:29:34,160 ♪ I wanna be the one ♪ 1648 01:29:34,327 --> 01:29:35,537 ♪ Yeah, to tell you...♪ 1649 01:29:35,662 --> 01:29:37,706 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1650 01:29:38,123 --> 01:29:40,876 Ha-ha. Hey, I am so proud of you, Ace. 1651 01:29:41,001 --> 01:29:41,918 [monkey] Ventura. 1652 01:29:42,252 --> 01:29:44,921 - Thank you, honey. - [Ace] I love you too, Mom. 1653 01:29:45,255 --> 01:29:46,840 Alrighty, then. 1654 01:29:47,591 --> 01:29:50,093 {\an8}♪ Shine ♪ 1655 01:29:54,890 --> 01:29:56,558 ♪ Shine ♪ 1656 01:29:56,766 --> 01:29:59,895 ♪ Shine ♪ 1657 01:30:08,695 --> 01:30:11,615 [Tone Loc's "Ace Is In the House" playing] 1658 01:30:21,625 --> 01:30:23,543 [Tarzan yell] 1659 01:30:32,677 --> 01:30:34,888 ♪ Just calling my dog, man ♪ 1660 01:30:37,891 --> 01:30:39,935 ♪ Tricks are for kids And men are for tricks ♪ 1661 01:30:40,101 --> 01:30:42,354 ♪ Ace He's the number one pet dick ♪ 1662 01:30:42,562 --> 01:30:45,023 ♪ No roof on fire, man When your cat's up a tree ♪ 1663 01:30:45,106 --> 01:30:46,900 ♪ He's the one That you hire, man ♪ 1664 01:30:46,983 --> 01:30:48,693 ♪ Known To bring them back alive ♪ 1665 01:30:48,777 --> 01:30:50,737 ♪ If your cats scratch Or if your turkey got jive ♪ 1666 01:30:50,820 --> 01:30:53,323 ♪ A little loco like a bass But still got charm ♪ 1667 01:30:53,406 --> 01:30:55,200 ♪ Brought him back To old MacDonald's farm ♪ 1668 01:30:55,283 --> 01:30:57,285 ♪ So hey-diddle-diddle What's laid in the pork? ♪ 1669 01:30:57,369 --> 01:30:59,412 ♪ Chasing more pets Than Noah on his ark ♪ 1670 01:30:59,496 --> 01:31:01,581 ♪ No need for a pager Numbers get deleted ♪ 1671 01:31:01,665 --> 01:31:03,708 ♪ Ace is on the case And the job is completed ♪ 1672 01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:05,752 ♪ Simple as Simon When I start rhyming ♪ 1673 01:31:05,835 --> 01:31:07,921 ♪ Always tell the truth So you know I'm not lying ♪ 1674 01:31:08,004 --> 01:31:10,131 ♪ Down with the ladies As a lover ♪ 1675 01:31:10,215 --> 01:31:12,258 ♪ Undercover ♪ 1676 01:31:12,384 --> 01:31:14,552 ♪ Yo, tell him where he's at My brothers ♪ 1677 01:31:14,719 --> 01:31:16,763 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1678 01:31:18,598 --> 01:31:20,517 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1679 01:31:20,850 --> 01:31:22,727 ♪ Yo Tell 'em where Ace is at ♪ 1680 01:31:22,811 --> 01:31:24,604 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1681 01:31:24,938 --> 01:31:26,898 ♪ I don't believe They heard you ♪ 1682 01:31:27,148 --> 01:31:28,900 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1683 01:31:29,109 --> 01:31:31,152 ♪ Is he all up in the house? ♪ 1684 01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:33,571 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1685 01:31:35,490 --> 01:31:37,784 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1686 01:31:39,619 --> 01:31:42,080 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1687 01:31:43,456 --> 01:31:45,166 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1688 01:31:45,291 --> 01:31:47,293 ♪ Well, if Ace is in the house So must be Loc ♪ 1689 01:31:47,419 --> 01:31:49,462 ♪ Blowing up Like a cloud of smoke ♪ 1690 01:31:49,546 --> 01:31:52,132 ♪ I grip the mike like pliers No one flyer ♪ 1691 01:31:52,215 --> 01:31:54,050 ♪ Yo, Ace is for hire ♪ 1692 01:31:54,175 --> 01:31:55,719 ♪ A floor-room showpiece ♪ 1693 01:31:55,844 --> 01:31:58,179 ♪ Solving more crimes than The hot damn police ♪ 1694 01:31:58,263 --> 01:31:59,681 ♪ Trying to do it legal ♪ 1695 01:31:59,764 --> 01:32:02,225 ♪ Looking for a dolphin Beating on an eagle ♪ 1696 01:32:02,350 --> 01:32:03,768 ♪ Nothing ever planned ♪ 1697 01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:06,396 ♪ Whenever Ace got the place Of a helpful detective, man ♪ 1698 01:32:06,521 --> 01:32:08,148 ♪ Crazy like Harpo ♪ 1699 01:32:08,231 --> 01:32:10,775 ♪ Busting out windows In his Monte Carlo ♪ 1700 01:32:10,859 --> 01:32:13,153 ♪ Loud clothes, black boots Duck-style hair ♪ 1701 01:32:13,236 --> 01:32:14,696 ♪ No time for a suit ♪ 1702 01:32:14,821 --> 01:32:17,323 [Tarzan yell] 1703 01:32:17,407 --> 01:32:19,826 ♪ Yo, tell 'em Who's in the house ♪ 1704 01:32:21,453 --> 01:32:23,496 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1705 01:32:23,580 --> 01:32:25,540 ♪ I don't believe They heard ya ♪ 1706 01:32:25,665 --> 01:32:27,709 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1707 01:32:27,792 --> 01:32:29,753 ♪ Yo Tell 'em one more time ♪ 1708 01:32:29,878 --> 01:32:31,963 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1709 01:32:32,047 --> 01:32:33,923 ♪ Tell 'em Who's in the house ♪ 1710 01:32:34,049 --> 01:32:36,051 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1711 01:32:36,134 --> 01:32:38,178 ♪ I don't believe They heard you ♪ 1712 01:32:38,261 --> 01:32:40,346 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1713 01:32:40,430 --> 01:32:42,432 ♪ Is he running things? ♪ 1714 01:32:42,515 --> 01:32:44,517 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1715 01:32:44,601 --> 01:32:46,686 ♪ Is he doing things? ♪ 1716 01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:48,188 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1717 01:32:48,271 --> 01:32:50,190 ♪ Ace is in the house ♪ 1718 01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:54,360 ♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪ 1719 01:32:55,653 --> 01:32:58,698 ♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪ 1720 01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:02,619 ♪ I said Ace is in the house ♪ 1721 01:33:03,411 --> 01:33:05,789 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1722 01:33:07,624 --> 01:33:09,959 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪ 1723 01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,922 ♪ Yo Ace is in the house ♪