1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:04,034
TOGETHER: Happy Birthday, Dad!
2
00:00:04,058 --> 00:00:05,848
Aww. Thanks, guys.
3
00:00:07,558 --> 00:00:09,097
"Happy 80th Birthday."
4
00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:10,467
Anna-Kat, that's not my age.
5
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,177
Seemed like a reasonable guess.
6
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,807
And why is the tiger on the card
attacking me?
7
00:00:13,808 --> 00:00:14,967
So many notes.
8
00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:17,204
Do you want the card or not?
9
00:00:17,228 --> 00:00:19,267
And this is from me.
10
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:22,387
[Smacks lips] 99 shares of CincoNext.
11
00:00:22,388 --> 00:00:23,637
They're doing
some really incredible things
12
00:00:23,638 --> 00:00:24,927
in the biotech space.
13
00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:26,347
Each share trades at a penny,
14
00:00:26,348 --> 00:00:27,927
but over time,
they could be worth millions.
15
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:28,728
Or nothing.
16
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,557
Or millions.
17
00:00:30,558 --> 00:00:31,767
Happy Birthday, Dad!
18
00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:33,177
Aww.
19
00:00:33,178 --> 00:00:34,677
It's a coupon for one clean room.
20
00:00:34,678 --> 00:00:36,057
Hm.
21
00:00:36,058 --> 00:00:38,227
I'm 9 years old. What's your excuse?
22
00:00:38,228 --> 00:00:41,267
What? Dad's always riding me
to clean my room, so now I will.
23
00:00:41,268 --> 00:00:43,735
Actually, I love it,
and I'm cashing it in now.
24
00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:44,767
Go clean your room.
25
00:00:44,768 --> 00:00:47,609
Damn. I was really banking
on you losing the coupon.
26
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:50,542
Three kids with three gifts
all coming in under $1.
27
00:00:50,543 --> 00:00:52,809
So what? Where's your gift?
28
00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:55,172
- Mom forgot!
- No, I didn't!
29
00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:57,752
I would never, ever forget
my husband's birthday.
30
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,274
KATIE: Okay, I did!
31
00:00:59,298 --> 00:01:01,292
Now lash out at the kids
to draw attention away from it.
32
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:02,672
It is your father's birthday,
33
00:01:02,673 --> 00:01:04,212
and you're not even
making him breakfast?!
34
00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:06,002
- All right! Okay.
- Okay.
35
00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:07,372
Who raised you?!
36
00:01:07,373 --> 00:01:08,833
Don't answer that!
37
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:12,922
I have your present,
but I can't give it to you yet
38
00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,422
because it's a surprise.
39
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:15,582
For tonight.
40
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:16,832
- I knew it.
- Mm-hmm.
41
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:18,602
You're throwing me
the birthday dinner party
42
00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,649
you've always promised me!
43
00:01:20,673 --> 00:01:23,872
Yeah, buddy! How'd you know?!
44
00:01:23,873 --> 00:01:25,422
Finally, an adult dinner party.
45
00:01:25,423 --> 00:01:27,082
- Nay... a salon,
- Mm.
46
00:01:27,083 --> 00:01:29,873
where we discuss art
and wear scarves indoors!
47
00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:36,091
I've been asking for years,
and now we're doing it!
48
00:01:36,673 --> 00:01:39,332
Now, only question left is...
49
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,672
which scarf should I wear?
50
00:01:40,673 --> 00:01:42,212
The real question is,
51
00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:43,808
which scarf should I hang myself with?
52
00:01:43,832 --> 00:01:46,637
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,238
KATIE: Guys, I messed up.
54
00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:53,011
I forgot Greg's birthday.
55
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:54,851
Ohh! That's bad.
56
00:01:54,852 --> 00:01:56,051
I did the same thing to Celeste,
57
00:01:56,052 --> 00:01:57,891
and that pretty much led to our divorce.
58
00:01:57,892 --> 00:02:00,115
Well, that and all
the other women you slept with
59
00:02:00,139 --> 00:02:01,141
who weren't your wife.
60
00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,551
Hey, she knew I was an Aries
when she married me.
61
00:02:03,552 --> 00:02:04,971
Oh, my God, what a great defense.
62
00:02:04,972 --> 00:02:06,972
- Did you use that in court?
- I did.
63
00:02:06,973 --> 00:02:08,351
But the judge was a Capricorn, so...
64
00:02:08,352 --> 00:02:09,851
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
65
00:02:09,852 --> 00:02:11,221
No hablo cuckoo.
66
00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:13,221
So, what's happening with Greg?
67
00:02:13,222 --> 00:02:15,011
I lied to him about
forgetting his birthday,
68
00:02:15,012 --> 00:02:16,681
so now I have to throw him
a dinner party.
69
00:02:16,682 --> 00:02:17,682
Can you two make it?
70
00:02:17,683 --> 00:02:19,221
Ah! Richard and I will be there.
71
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,416
Anything to get away from the kids.
72
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,931
"Mom! Play board games with us!"
73
00:02:23,932 --> 00:02:25,719
I swear it's like
they don't even know me.
74
00:02:25,743 --> 00:02:26,750
I'm in, too.
75
00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:28,101
Mind if I bring my new girlfriend?
76
00:02:28,102 --> 00:02:30,051
Her name is Crissy, she's a therapist,
77
00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:31,812
and I honestly think
she could be the one.
78
00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:36,851
Are you on Tinder right now?
79
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,051
Wh... I'm just browsing.
80
00:02:38,052 --> 00:02:39,431
Oh, God.
81
00:02:39,432 --> 00:02:44,721
♪♪
82
00:02:44,722 --> 00:02:46,811
Are you sure you didn't forget
Dad's birthday?
83
00:02:46,812 --> 00:02:48,471
'Cause this all seems very last-minute.
84
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:50,311
The caterers, which I ordered weeks ago,
85
00:02:50,312 --> 00:02:51,811
canceled on me this morning.
86
00:02:51,812 --> 00:02:54,395
Anyone not believe that? Huh?!
87
00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:56,198
Anyone?
88
00:02:56,222 --> 00:02:57,471
That's what I thought.
89
00:02:57,472 --> 00:02:59,471
Now, tonight is an adult night,
90
00:02:59,472 --> 00:03:01,891
so that means you are all going upstairs
91
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:04,431
and staying there till morning.
92
00:03:04,432 --> 00:03:05,931
But what if there's an earthquake
93
00:03:05,932 --> 00:03:08,681
or a rapture or an AI singularity?
94
00:03:08,682 --> 00:03:10,431
You are only allowed to come down
95
00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:13,181
if there's visible blood...
active bleeding.
96
00:03:13,182 --> 00:03:14,762
You got to fill this cup above the line.
97
00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:18,311
All right! Everybody upstairs!
98
00:03:18,312 --> 00:03:21,181
[Light music plays]
99
00:03:21,182 --> 00:03:22,551
Remember to clean your room for Dad.
100
00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:24,761
I was going to! God!
101
00:03:24,762 --> 00:03:26,681
[Sighs]
102
00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:28,811
What is that thing
where you've been asleep
103
00:03:28,812 --> 00:03:30,101
and you wake up years later
104
00:03:30,102 --> 00:03:31,971
and all of your kids are grown up
105
00:03:31,972 --> 00:03:33,181
and you've lost all that time?
106
00:03:33,182 --> 00:03:34,182
A coma?
107
00:03:34,183 --> 00:03:35,812
A coma.
108
00:03:37,642 --> 00:03:40,051
- I'm ready for my salon!
- Great!
109
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:42,141
Because Doris and Angela
are going to be here any second.
110
00:03:42,142 --> 00:03:44,811
Doris and Angela? That's my salon?
111
00:03:44,812 --> 00:03:46,351
Who am I gonna have
intellectual debates with?
112
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,811
Angela is well-read.
113
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,221
She belongs to a lesbian book club.
114
00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:50,681
She doesn't let me come
115
00:03:50,682 --> 00:03:52,851
because she thinks I'm going to
make fun of their haircuts.
116
00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:54,971
But they know it's not
a normal dinner party, right?
117
00:03:54,972 --> 00:03:56,221
Because I'm reading a poem!
118
00:03:56,222 --> 00:03:58,052
[Doorbell rings]
119
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:01,311
Hey, real quick... if Doris asks you
120
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:02,811
why we couldn't go to dinner last week,
121
00:04:02,812 --> 00:04:04,471
it was because of your hernia surgery.
122
00:04:04,472 --> 00:04:05,851
Got it? Great.
123
00:04:05,852 --> 00:04:07,511
I didn't have a hernia.
Why did you lie to Doris?
124
00:04:07,512 --> 00:04:08,891
I can't tell her the truth.
125
00:04:08,892 --> 00:04:11,091
Dinners at her house are the worst!
126
00:04:11,116 --> 00:04:13,177
Richard is either on the phone
or talking about his commute,
127
00:04:13,202 --> 00:04:16,351
- and Doris hits on you the entire time.
- No, she doesn't.
128
00:04:16,352 --> 00:04:17,888
- [Doorbell rings]
- Why'd you have to go give me a hernia?
129
00:04:17,913 --> 00:04:18,931
I don't know!
130
00:04:18,932 --> 00:04:20,391
She sprang the invitation on me.
131
00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:21,657
How am I supposed to keep up this lie?
132
00:04:21,682 --> 00:04:23,851
Just don't mention it.
And don't lift anything heavy.
133
00:04:23,852 --> 00:04:25,431
[Exhales sharply] This is so stupid.
134
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,141
You know I hate it when you
put me in these situations.
135
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,761
How am I supposed to act
like I have a hernia?
136
00:04:28,762 --> 00:04:29,762
This'll help.
137
00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:30,971
[Groans]
138
00:04:30,972 --> 00:04:32,891
[Straining] Hi!
139
00:04:32,892 --> 00:04:34,552
TOGETHER: Happy birthday, Greg!
140
00:04:34,577 --> 00:04:36,192
- Hi, everyone!
- Happy birthday!
141
00:04:36,217 --> 00:04:37,601
- Hi.
- [Chuckling]
142
00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:39,435
- [Quietly] Have we been here long enough?
- [Quietly] Shut up!
143
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,261
Welcome! Let me take your coats.
144
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:43,311
- Oh! I'm so glad we could come.
- Thank you.
145
00:04:43,312 --> 00:04:44,642
Good.
146
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,102
Hernia!
147
00:04:49,052 --> 00:04:50,351
I have a hernia.
148
00:04:50,352 --> 00:04:52,953
His nether regions
are still quite blown out.
149
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:54,154
Mm.
150
00:04:54,682 --> 00:04:56,721
Okay, OCD girl, have at it.
151
00:04:56,722 --> 00:04:58,435
Halloween, Christmas...
152
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,641
- this.
- [Chuckles]
153
00:05:00,642 --> 00:05:02,101
Can I borrow your phone charger?
154
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,932
Sure, if you can find it.
155
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,257
This is disgusting.
156
00:05:11,282 --> 00:05:12,569
[Gasps] My bib jersey!
157
00:05:12,594 --> 00:05:13,999
I've been looking everywhere for that!
158
00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,991
- Your what?
- My bib jersey.
159
00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:17,821
Whenever I eat something greasy
in my room,
160
00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:19,726
I put on a jersey to protect my clothes.
161
00:05:19,751 --> 00:05:20,791
Genius, right?
162
00:05:21,912 --> 00:05:23,611
I fear for your future.
163
00:05:23,612 --> 00:05:24,991
Aah!
164
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,741
I can't believe
I touched your bib jersey!
165
00:05:26,742 --> 00:05:29,201
And there's nothing clean enough
in here to wipe my hands on!
166
00:05:29,202 --> 00:05:31,127
Don't worry... it's covered
in so much old food,
167
00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:32,491
there's no way you touched fabric.
168
00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:34,502
You should be in prison.
169
00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:35,701
Uh, guys?
170
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,841
The room is on fire.
171
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,242
[Gasps]
172
00:05:41,242 --> 00:05:43,020
Uh, Mom?
173
00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:44,840
KATIE: Visible... blood!
174
00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,451
'Kay.
175
00:05:46,452 --> 00:05:48,411
[Indistinct conversations]
176
00:05:48,412 --> 00:05:50,531
[Sighs]
177
00:05:50,532 --> 00:05:52,872
So, Richard, how are things?
178
00:05:55,492 --> 00:05:57,032
[Snapping fingers]
179
00:05:59,202 --> 00:06:00,741
[Scoffs]
180
00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:04,072
So, Crissy, Angela tells me
that you are a therapist.
181
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,119
How do you like it?
182
00:06:05,144 --> 00:06:06,353
I think the better question is,
183
00:06:06,354 --> 00:06:07,995
how do you like being a mother?
184
00:06:11,064 --> 00:06:13,104
So, Richard, whatcha typing?
185
00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:16,353
Nothing?
186
00:06:16,354 --> 00:06:18,313
All right.
187
00:06:18,314 --> 00:06:19,523
What are we going to do?
188
00:06:19,524 --> 00:06:21,853
Mom and Dad are going to kill us!
189
00:06:21,854 --> 00:06:23,490
Well, Dad's gonna lecture us,
190
00:06:23,515 --> 00:06:26,570
and then Mom's gonna take
the doors off all our rooms.
191
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,393
That'd be really bad for you, Oliver.
192
00:06:28,394 --> 00:06:30,223
I have nothing to hide.
193
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:33,566
But, at the same time,
we do need to cover this up,
194
00:06:33,591 --> 00:06:36,183
and the only way we're gonna
do that is if we stick together.
195
00:06:36,184 --> 00:06:39,983
Like this slice of pizza
attached to Taylor's math book?
196
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:42,434
That's why third period is so confusing!
197
00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:47,523
- Oh. Your hand is so big.
- Thanks.
198
00:06:47,524 --> 00:06:48,773
I feel very safe right now.
199
00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:49,983
- I'm so glad.
- [Chuckles]
200
00:06:49,984 --> 00:06:52,144
- Doris, let's compare hands.
- Oh!
201
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,183
Ow!
202
00:06:53,184 --> 00:06:54,603
Knock it off!
203
00:06:54,604 --> 00:06:57,433
Oh, God. Greg is going for
one of his skinny poetry books.
204
00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:58,983
Those are the worst kinds.
205
00:06:58,984 --> 00:06:59,894
Who's in the mood for a sonnet?
206
00:06:59,894 --> 00:07:00,814
- No.
- Almost.
207
00:07:00,815 --> 00:07:02,183
Changing subject.
208
00:07:02,184 --> 00:07:04,933
So, Greg, you seem to be
recovering nicely.
209
00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:06,143
Recovering?
210
00:07:06,144 --> 00:07:08,813
[Smacks lips] From the hernia surgery...
211
00:07:08,814 --> 00:07:10,183
that you had.
212
00:07:10,184 --> 00:07:11,853
Oh, yes. Well,
the procedure went smoothly.
213
00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:12,871
It was no big deal.
214
00:07:12,896 --> 00:07:15,009
Katie said it was a very big deal,
with a lot of complications.
215
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,223
Oh... yeah.
216
00:07:18,224 --> 00:07:20,183
It going smoothly
actually was a complication
217
00:07:20,184 --> 00:07:21,933
because they expected it to be bad,
218
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:23,723
but then when it looked
like it was good,
219
00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:25,183
it threw everyone off, and...
220
00:07:25,184 --> 00:07:27,789
because they were like,
"Aah! Why isn't this going bad?"
221
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,183
And then, um...
222
00:07:29,184 --> 00:07:31,338
I started bleeding out of my... butt.
223
00:07:32,484 --> 00:07:33,684
- [Timer dings]
- I'll get that.
224
00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:36,853
[Oven door opens]
225
00:07:36,854 --> 00:07:38,523
[Groans]
226
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:39,644
Mmm.
227
00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:43,178
What?
228
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:45,298
How are you carrying that
if you just had hernia surgery?
229
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,008
Oh, these...
230
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,758
darn pain meds give me
a false sense of strength.
231
00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:51,838
I hope I'm not bleeding
from my butt again.
232
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,678
- What's going on?!
- [Groans]
233
00:07:53,679 --> 00:07:54,718
Okay. [Sighs]
234
00:07:54,719 --> 00:07:55,838
We lied.
235
00:07:55,839 --> 00:07:57,758
Greg didn't have hernia surgery.
236
00:07:57,759 --> 00:08:00,178
They're our friends.
We should tell them the truth.
237
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:01,838
Yes, thank you.
238
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:05,798
The real reason that we couldn't
go to dinner last week is...
239
00:08:05,799 --> 00:08:07,468
[Smacks lips]
240
00:08:07,469 --> 00:08:08,889
...Greg and I were in couples therapy.
241
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,838
Our marriage is not great.
242
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,429
♪♪
243
00:08:17,139 --> 00:08:19,218
♪♪
244
00:08:19,219 --> 00:08:21,048
[Sighs]
245
00:08:21,049 --> 00:08:23,298
So, you two are in couples therapy?
246
00:08:23,299 --> 00:08:25,548
She's not being nosy.
That's a professional question.
247
00:08:25,549 --> 00:08:28,388
- She's a doctor.
- I'm not a doctor.
248
00:08:28,389 --> 00:08:30,178
I'm a psychologist.
249
00:08:30,179 --> 00:08:32,218
But she knows how to play doctor.
250
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:34,098
[Chuckles]
251
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:35,718
Now can we go?
252
00:08:35,719 --> 00:08:37,838
Richard, pretend to go to the bathroom
253
00:08:37,839 --> 00:08:39,889
and play on your phone,
like you do at home.
254
00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:44,838
Our marriage has been in trouble
for quite some time.
255
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:47,468
I know... it's shocking.
256
00:08:47,469 --> 00:08:49,138
- Is it?
- Makes sense to me.
257
00:08:49,139 --> 00:08:51,428
Okay. Please take your seats for dinner.
258
00:08:51,429 --> 00:08:53,468
Katie, if I could talk to you
for a second?
259
00:08:53,469 --> 00:08:57,008
We're gonna go talk
about our terrible marriage.
260
00:08:57,009 --> 00:08:59,638
♪♪
261
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,968
So, that's coming clean to
your friends? Just another lie?
262
00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:03,258
- I had to!
- [Whines]
263
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,218
You couldn't fake a hernia,
so I had to pivot!
264
00:09:05,219 --> 00:09:06,638
Well, now everyone thinks
our marriage is in trouble.
265
00:09:06,639 --> 00:09:08,008
But it's not!
266
00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:09,758
You understand how lying works, right?
267
00:09:09,759 --> 00:09:11,258
But everyone bought it so easily.
268
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,428
No one was like, "Whaaaat?!"
269
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,798
I wanted a "Whaaaat?!"
270
00:09:13,799 --> 00:09:15,928
Couples therapy is the perfect lie.
271
00:09:15,929 --> 00:09:18,928
It's personal, so no one will
ask any follow-up questions.
272
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,008
I don't like it one bit.
273
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:21,508
We won, Greg!
274
00:09:21,509 --> 00:09:23,429
Take the win! Enjoy it!
275
00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:28,218
And remember, we need to fake
like we're in a rough patch.
276
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,598
Don't find me as delightful
as you usually do.
277
00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:32,258
That won't be hard.
278
00:09:32,259 --> 00:09:35,888
♪♪
279
00:09:35,889 --> 00:09:38,008
Guys, I'm not trying to be cocky,
280
00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,468
but I think we did it.
281
00:09:39,469 --> 00:09:41,048
Yeah, great job, Taylor.
282
00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,508
But I also went
and got this from the attic
283
00:09:42,509 --> 00:09:43,798
so we can paint over it.
284
00:09:43,799 --> 00:09:46,388
Now we just need a screwdriver
to open the can.
285
00:09:46,389 --> 00:09:47,888
I'll just go downstairs and grab one.
286
00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:49,718
But Mom told us to stay up here.
287
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,139
Trust me... she won't even notice.
288
00:09:54,599 --> 00:09:56,678
KATIE: Visible blood!
289
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,719
'Kay.
290
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,572
[Smacks lips] Okay!
291
00:10:01,597 --> 00:10:02,961
Um, we're gonna
have to open the paint can
292
00:10:02,986 --> 00:10:04,004
with whatever's in here.
293
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,072
Nope.
294
00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:08,705
Nope.
295
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:10,928
Nope.
296
00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:13,321
I'm all out of pencils. I give up.
297
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,098
[Sighs]
298
00:10:15,099 --> 00:10:16,970
Come on, Buttercup.
299
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:18,454
Use those chompers.
300
00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:19,758
[Sighs]
301
00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:22,798
That's it. You've embarrassed me
in front of my family.
302
00:10:22,799 --> 00:10:25,120
Tonight, you're sleeping with the LEGOs.
303
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,799
And that's how it's done, people.
304
00:10:32,839 --> 00:10:34,389
- Oh, no!
- [Gasps]
305
00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,638
Just so you know, what you two
are doing is really healthy.
306
00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:38,968
Thanks, but honestly,
307
00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:40,450
Katie and I have never been better.
308
00:10:40,475 --> 00:10:42,174
The whole therapy thing
is just preventative...
309
00:10:42,199 --> 00:10:43,598
- like ant traps.
- [Door closes]
310
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,869
That's a fun topic.
Let's talk about ants.
311
00:10:45,894 --> 00:10:48,338
Did you know they can lift
30 times their body weight?
312
00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:50,860
Greg, look, there's no shame
in therapy, okay?
313
00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,735
Some of the most prominent
people in Westport see me.
314
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,888
I mean, should the Mayor
be ashamed of his sessions?
315
00:10:54,889 --> 00:10:57,534
Isn't that a breach
of client confidentiality?
316
00:10:59,009 --> 00:11:00,639
Shoot.
317
00:11:02,549 --> 00:11:04,468
Don't be hard on yourself, Greg.
318
00:11:04,469 --> 00:11:06,672
Any man would've been worn down by now.
319
00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,178
- We totally get it.
- Yeah.
320
00:11:08,179 --> 00:11:11,604
I'm sorry, but what exactly
do you totally get?
321
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,541
Do you two think that I am the reason
322
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:14,627
that we're in therapy?
323
00:11:14,652 --> 00:11:16,098
- Katie!
- Katie!
324
00:11:16,099 --> 00:11:18,838
Greg, tell them that is not the case.
325
00:11:18,863 --> 00:11:21,178
- It's... the case.
- Mm.
326
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,008
Can I talk to you in your office
for a second?
327
00:11:23,009 --> 00:11:25,546
We're gonna continue to talk
about our terrible marriage
328
00:11:25,571 --> 00:11:26,691
and how it's her fault.
329
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:29,516
Poor Greg.
330
00:11:29,541 --> 00:11:31,290
Oh, I hate to see them like this,
331
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,290
but I love to watch him walk away.
332
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:34,370
- [Door opens]
- [Smacks lips]
333
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:36,160
Mnh.
334
00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:37,392
"Poor Greg"?
335
00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:38,978
It should be "Poor Katie"!
336
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:41,307
We won, Katie. Take the win.
337
00:11:41,332 --> 00:11:43,790
- Enjoy it!
- You like this.
338
00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:46,410
- This is a little victory for you.
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:11:46,411 --> 00:11:47,540
Have your fun,
340
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,870
but I just can't stand
that they're judging me.
341
00:11:49,871 --> 00:11:51,427
Doris is terrible to Richard,
342
00:11:51,452 --> 00:11:54,028
and Angela can't stay in
a relationship to save her life.
343
00:11:54,053 --> 00:11:55,060
If we tell the truth now,
344
00:11:55,085 --> 00:11:56,239
everyone is gonna think we're crazy.
345
00:11:56,264 --> 00:11:58,580
You started this lie.
Now let's see it through.
346
00:11:58,581 --> 00:12:00,040
Fine!
347
00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:01,798
And don't forget
to be extra abusive to me
348
00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:03,728
so everyone knows that our
marital problems are your fault.
349
00:12:03,753 --> 00:12:05,290
That won't be a problem.
350
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:10,450
♪♪
351
00:12:10,451 --> 00:12:11,784
It says to blot.
352
00:12:11,809 --> 00:12:14,630
Don't rub, or you'll
make the stain worse.
353
00:12:15,585 --> 00:12:17,664
- Can you help, please?
- One sec.
354
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:20,451
I'm trying to get this paint off
my Nordstrom's not Rack shirt.
355
00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:23,163
There! It's ruined!
356
00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:24,219
Now help!
357
00:12:24,253 --> 00:12:25,383
Well, let's see how you like it!
358
00:12:27,218 --> 00:12:29,845
Joke's on you. These are my bib pants!
359
00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:33,438
Guys!
360
00:12:34,765 --> 00:12:36,092
Holy [bleep]!
361
00:12:36,117 --> 00:12:37,870
Oh, my God. It went through
the wall. What do we do now?
362
00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:40,609
First, we watch our language.
363
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,574
The drive is just the first leg.
364
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,330
Next up is the train.
365
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,410
If I catch the 7:21,
366
00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:53,540
I get into the city at 8:28.
367
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:56,223
But if I catch the 7:26,
368
00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:58,575
I get there at 8:45.
369
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,497
Please... tell us more.
370
00:13:00,522 --> 00:13:02,210
Unh-unh. Stop punishing us
371
00:13:02,211 --> 00:13:04,120
by encouraging Richard
to talk about his commute.
372
00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:06,210
All we said was that therapy
was a good thing!
373
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:07,672
And that I'm the problem.
374
00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:09,655
Right! You get it!
375
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,593
Just so you know, you two are the ones
376
00:13:11,618 --> 00:13:13,179
who should be in couples therapy.
377
00:13:13,204 --> 00:13:15,370
You can't keep your muskrat in its cage!
378
00:13:15,417 --> 00:13:17,206
What does that mean?
379
00:13:17,207 --> 00:13:18,826
You are so pretty.
380
00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:21,886
And you bag on your husband constantly!
381
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,116
You talk about me?
382
00:13:24,117 --> 00:13:25,706
Aww.
383
00:13:25,707 --> 00:13:28,456
Okay, everyone, look.
Katie is projecting.
384
00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:31,914
Sometimes we have pent-up anger,
and we choose to lash out.
385
00:13:31,939 --> 00:13:32,976
No!
386
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,286
This is not what this is.
387
00:13:35,287 --> 00:13:36,826
I lied.
388
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,246
Greg and I aren't in therapy.
389
00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:39,416
I made the whole thing up
390
00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:40,960
just so I didn't
have to tell you the truth.
391
00:13:40,985 --> 00:13:42,360
The real reason we canceled
392
00:13:42,385 --> 00:13:44,921
is because dinners at your house
are the worst!
393
00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:47,632
Ah! I'll put any dinner at my house
394
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:50,296
up against this garbage party
full of poetry and lies!
395
00:13:50,321 --> 00:13:52,860
And I suppose you lied
about Greg's ruptured colon
396
00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:54,786
to get out of going
to that sound bath with me.
397
00:13:54,787 --> 00:13:56,656
Why are you always giving me
medical problems?
398
00:13:56,657 --> 00:13:58,156
It's so easy to buy!
399
00:13:58,157 --> 00:13:59,689
You look disease-y, Greg.
400
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,956
Okay, look, everybody calm down.
401
00:14:01,957 --> 00:14:03,036
You're right.
402
00:14:03,037 --> 00:14:04,956
And to put this in perspective,
403
00:14:04,957 --> 00:14:06,786
perhaps a poetry reading.
404
00:14:06,787 --> 00:14:08,120
[All groan]
405
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:11,996
I think Anne Sexton said it best...
406
00:14:11,997 --> 00:14:14,706
You think we're the only ones
she lies to?
407
00:14:14,707 --> 00:14:16,656
- She forgot about your birthday.
- What?
408
00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:19,821
And she threw this dinner party
at the last second as a cover.
409
00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:20,928
I don't believe it.
410
00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:21,996
Yeah, I do.
411
00:14:21,997 --> 00:14:23,656
Come on, Richard. We're leaving.
412
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,349
But it's finally fun!
413
00:14:25,404 --> 00:14:26,774
Crissy, let's go.
414
00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:32,416
[Door closes]
415
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:33,957
[Light music plays]
416
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:41,326
You forgot my birthday
and then lied about it.
417
00:14:41,327 --> 00:14:42,416
I did.
418
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:44,203
But before you get too mad, remember...
419
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,391
- your blood pressure is high.
- Right.
420
00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:48,578
Wait, is it? I don't know
what to believe anymore!
421
00:14:48,632 --> 00:14:50,536
♪♪
422
00:14:52,997 --> 00:14:55,916
♪♪
423
00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,656
I'm glad you decided to come.
424
00:14:57,657 --> 00:14:59,663
- We want to talk about last night.
- Yeah.
425
00:14:59,688 --> 00:15:01,956
I'm confused.
You have a breakfast at home,
426
00:15:01,957 --> 00:15:03,746
and then you come here
for another breakfast?
427
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,172
Why is he not getting this?
428
00:15:06,117 --> 00:15:08,286
[Quietly] The pretty ones
are sometimes slow.
429
00:15:08,311 --> 00:15:09,892
Mnh.
430
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:11,194
Let's get down to it.
431
00:15:11,219 --> 00:15:12,996
Katie needs to be stopped.
432
00:15:12,997 --> 00:15:15,496
I agree. Her lying has become
a problem for all of us.
433
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,656
She needs to be confronted,
and my pal Crissy can help.
434
00:15:18,657 --> 00:15:20,790
Downgraded to "pal" already, huh?
435
00:15:20,815 --> 00:15:23,359
Yeah, well, I've been making
eyes with the new waitress.
436
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:26,032
She's... Oh. Nope.
437
00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:28,109
Nope, she's just
putting in her contact lens.
438
00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:30,286
My girlfriend, Crissy, can help.
439
00:15:30,287 --> 00:15:33,916
♪♪
440
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:37,132
I got your text.
Where's James Van Der Beek?
441
00:15:37,157 --> 00:15:38,576
Not here.
442
00:15:38,577 --> 00:15:39,942
This is an intervention.
443
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:42,114
I shaved above the knee for this?
444
00:15:42,139 --> 00:15:43,676
We're here to talk about your lying.
445
00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:44,656
I would love to,
446
00:15:44,657 --> 00:15:46,863
but I have to take Greg
to his colonoscopy.
447
00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:48,245
You have a real problem.
448
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,019
Katie, please have a seat.
449
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:55,956
[Sighs heavily]
450
00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:58,469
Your lying has caused a rift
in your relationships,
451
00:15:58,494 --> 00:16:00,039
and you need to start telling the truth.
452
00:16:00,064 --> 00:16:02,036
Maybe you need
to start telling the truth.
453
00:16:02,037 --> 00:16:05,076
- You're not licensed to do that.
- Fine.
454
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,076
Let's just get this over with.
455
00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:09,346
Okay. What are some of the lies
456
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:12,319
that you've told
Doris, Angela, and Greg?
457
00:16:12,344 --> 00:16:13,394
Okay.
458
00:16:14,617 --> 00:16:17,217
Doris, remember you gave me money
459
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,420
to bet on red when I went to Foxwoods?
460
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,037
I lied. You didn't lose.
461
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,273
I spent the money on a giant daiquiri.
462
00:16:24,295 --> 00:16:27,271
Now, Doris, remember, what do we say?
463
00:16:28,242 --> 00:16:30,411
Thank you for your honesty.
464
00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:31,661
You're welcome.
465
00:16:31,662 --> 00:16:34,451
Angela, remember
when you aligned my chakras
466
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,201
and I told you it made me
less aggravated with my kids?
467
00:16:37,202 --> 00:16:39,901
When I got home, I sat on Oliver.
468
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,471
Thank you for your honesty.
469
00:16:43,832 --> 00:16:44,991
Greg, you know how I told you
470
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:46,741
I stopped using veal in the meatloaf
471
00:16:46,742 --> 00:16:48,653
because you didn't want
to eat little cows?
472
00:16:48,678 --> 00:16:50,919
- Don't say it. Don't say it.
- Didn't stop.
473
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,703
So sad.
474
00:16:52,704 --> 00:16:54,703
So tender.
475
00:16:54,704 --> 00:16:57,153
Katie, why are you lying?
476
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:58,371
You don't seem like the kind of person
477
00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,582
who's afraid to tell the truth.
478
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:01,823
No. I'm not.
479
00:17:01,824 --> 00:17:03,823
I can do some crowd work to prove it.
480
00:17:03,824 --> 00:17:05,613
Hey, you! Laptop!
481
00:17:05,614 --> 00:17:06,880
For the last month,
482
00:17:06,905 --> 00:17:08,783
I have read that screenplay
over your shoulder,
483
00:17:08,784 --> 00:17:10,653
and it is terrible.
484
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,823
If you're not afraid
to tell the truth to a stranger,
485
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,323
then why do you feel
the need to lie to us,
486
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,363
the people you love?
487
00:17:15,364 --> 00:17:18,422
I lie because I love you.
488
00:17:18,447 --> 00:17:21,573
- What?
- I don't want to hurt your feelings.
489
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,403
And I want to keep putting veal
in my meatloaf.
490
00:17:24,404 --> 00:17:26,863
Katie, you told a lot of truths today.
491
00:17:26,864 --> 00:17:28,906
Are there any truths
you haven't told yet?
492
00:17:30,404 --> 00:17:31,494
There are.
493
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,883
Doris, I know I have told you
that you're too harsh,
494
00:17:36,946 --> 00:17:38,695
but the truth is...
495
00:17:38,744 --> 00:17:41,635
you are the strongest person
that I know.
496
00:17:42,614 --> 00:17:44,363
Thank you for your honesty.
497
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,356
And, Angela, I know sometimes
498
00:17:46,434 --> 00:17:49,176
I make fun of you for being a softie...
499
00:17:49,244 --> 00:17:52,598
but you are the kindest person
I've ever met.
500
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,736
Thank you, Katie, for your honesty.
501
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,118
And, Greg, the truth is...
502
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:01,782
you are the best person that I know.
503
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,508
Period.
504
00:18:03,574 --> 00:18:05,118
I love you.
505
00:18:05,154 --> 00:18:07,819
And I am so sorry
that I forgot your birthday.
506
00:18:07,844 --> 00:18:08,844
That's okay.
507
00:18:08,869 --> 00:18:10,028
I love you, too.
508
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:13,655
And while we're on this truth train,
509
00:18:13,704 --> 00:18:17,014
you seem like a nice person, so...
510
00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:19,324
- get out now.
- Really?
511
00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:22,613
Are you gonna cheat on me?
512
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:26,401
Girl, I don't know
what you got going on today,
513
00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:28,703
but you are looking fine!
514
00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:29,903
Mm!
515
00:18:29,904 --> 00:18:38,493
♪♪
516
00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:47,323
♪♪
517
00:18:47,324 --> 00:18:48,703
If she didn't clean her room,
518
00:18:48,704 --> 00:18:49,993
you're going to read her poetry.
519
00:18:49,994 --> 00:18:51,790
Culture should not be a punishment.
520
00:18:51,815 --> 00:18:53,815
But it is.
521
00:18:54,814 --> 00:18:56,153
You ready to show me the room yet?
522
00:18:56,154 --> 00:18:57,444
TAYLOR: Come on in!
523
00:18:58,614 --> 00:19:01,175
Anna-Kat, do you have any 6s?
524
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,113
Sorry, Oliver. Go fish!
525
00:19:03,138 --> 00:19:04,427
Taylor?
526
00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:05,678
What did you do?
527
00:19:07,848 --> 00:19:10,177
You cleaned your room!
528
00:19:10,178 --> 00:19:12,007
Cleaned and reorganized.
529
00:19:12,008 --> 00:19:13,033
Well, technically,
530
00:19:13,058 --> 00:19:15,181
"reorganized" implies
that it was once organized,
531
00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:16,478
but good job, kiddo.
532
00:19:17,428 --> 00:19:18,927
- So good.
- [Chuckles]
533
00:19:18,928 --> 00:19:21,217
It looks great!
534
00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:22,565
How long are we gonna
keep this a secret?
535
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:24,007
Until I go to college.
536
00:19:24,008 --> 00:19:25,427
No, until I go to college.
537
00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:26,467
You're both saying the same thing.
538
00:19:26,559 --> 00:19:28,467
[Chuckles]
539
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:32,177
♪♪
540
00:19:32,178 --> 00:19:34,458
Happy birthday!
541
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,098
From now on, I won't be such a liar.
542
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,638
- Thanks, babe.
- Mm-hmm.
543
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,637
Oh.
544
00:19:42,638 --> 00:19:45,157
A coupon for
one free intellectual salon.
545
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:46,704
You can invite all your boring friends.
546
00:19:46,729 --> 00:19:48,048
You can talk about
all the crap you want.
547
00:19:48,073 --> 00:19:50,579
- You can wear whatever dumb outfit...
- Unh-unh-unh-unh.
548
00:19:50,604 --> 00:19:52,047
You know what?
549
00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:53,307
To Hell with Crissy.
550
00:19:53,308 --> 00:19:55,709
Maybe a healthy marriage
is based on lies.
551
00:19:55,734 --> 00:19:58,260
- Then ours is the best.
- [Chuckles]
552
00:19:59,712 --> 00:20:00,990
Thanks.
553
00:20:04,508 --> 00:20:06,018
[Sighs] Now that Taylor's left,
554
00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:07,257
the house feels so empty.
555
00:20:07,298 --> 00:20:10,364
But we can finally do
what we want with this room!
556
00:20:10,389 --> 00:20:12,771
Let's get rid of this bed
and put in a giant hot tub.
557
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:15,076
What the hell?!
558
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,888
What the hell?
559
00:20:20,008 --> 00:20:22,137
"Dear Mom and Dad,
by the time you read this,
560
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,287
the statute of limitations
will have run out.
561
00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:26,307
Signed... Taylor, Anna-Kat, and Oliver."
562
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,717
Oh!
563
00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:30,366
That explains why Taylor
had books in her room.
564
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:31,647
[Groans]
565
00:20:31,678 --> 00:20:35,066
Well, this is very troubling.
566
00:20:35,113 --> 00:20:36,127
Mm.
567
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,580
We obviously can't have
your salon tonight, Greg.
568
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,097
♪♪
569
00:20:40,098 --> 00:20:41,511
Then when?!
570
00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:46,589
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com