1 00:00:02,084 --> 00:00:04,087 WOMAN: Previously on "All Night"... 2 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:05,674 - Let's do this thing. - Stop, Roni. 3 00:00:05,675 --> 00:00:07,301 I don't want this. 4 00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:10,140 Ever think you might be overlooking the obvious? 5 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:11,686 He's gay. 6 00:00:11,687 --> 00:00:13,063 DEANNA: He only likes her because she's pretty 7 00:00:13,064 --> 00:00:14,858 and plays a children's instrument. 8 00:00:14,859 --> 00:00:16,571 - What he and I have is... - Is irrelevant. 9 00:00:16,572 --> 00:00:19,409 What you need is for him to see you as his hot sister. 10 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,204 You know what I mean. 11 00:00:21,205 --> 00:00:23,751 - For the valedictorian, huh? - The future is female. 12 00:00:23,752 --> 00:00:25,547 - Whoo! - And all of the sudden, 13 00:00:25,548 --> 00:00:27,718 you're a part of Roni's little gang of minions 14 00:00:27,719 --> 00:00:29,470 and hanging out with Alexis 24/7? 15 00:00:29,471 --> 00:00:31,182 Do you have a crush on her? 16 00:00:31,183 --> 00:00:32,895 No. 17 00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:37,529 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 18 00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:40,367 ♪♪ 19 00:00:40,368 --> 00:00:42,998 An impressive Prince selection. 20 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,375 You know, my aunt met him on a bus once, 21 00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:46,964 and he called her "interesting." 22 00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:49,135 Wow. 23 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,972 Ooh, we should do Kiss. 24 00:00:50,973 --> 00:00:53,644 But with my falsetto, it's just so obvious. 25 00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:55,690 What song do you want to sing? 26 00:00:55,691 --> 00:00:58,655 How about that new one called "I Just Sit and Watch"? 27 00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,115 What? You have an amazing voice. 28 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:01,535 You sing for me all the time. 29 00:01:01,536 --> 00:01:02,704 That doesn't mean I want to do it 30 00:01:02,705 --> 00:01:04,374 in front of the whole school. 31 00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:07,129 I am not Sherman Grove High's resident rock star. 32 00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:09,342 Well, I guess this resident rock star 33 00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:11,471 will just have to serenade you. 34 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,810 ♪♪ 35 00:01:13,811 --> 00:01:15,270 Do you remember the choreography 36 00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:17,024 from our 8th grade Taylor Swift medley? 37 00:01:17,025 --> 00:01:19,112 "From Heartache to Heartbreak," "Taylor's Journey," 38 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,324 because they have all the songs in here. 39 00:01:21,325 --> 00:01:25,667 Yeah, well, speaking of heartache and heartbreak... 40 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,296 - Ooh. - [LAUGHING] 41 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,717 - Oh! - Dude. 42 00:01:29,718 --> 00:01:32,304 He's not gay, right? 43 00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:34,308 Of course not. 44 00:01:34,309 --> 00:01:36,187 It's normal bro-havior. 45 00:01:36,188 --> 00:01:37,941 Straight guys are obsessed with their balls. 46 00:01:37,942 --> 00:01:39,695 They love them. 47 00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:41,156 Do you know how frustrating it is to watch people 48 00:01:41,157 --> 00:01:42,534 butcher music they didn't even write? 49 00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:44,663 You know what we should do? 50 00:01:44,664 --> 00:01:46,166 Find the most depressing, mood-killing song in this book 51 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:47,878 and sing it so seriously 52 00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:49,464 people want to crawl under their chairs and weep? 53 00:01:49,465 --> 00:01:50,842 I was thinking that 54 00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:52,094 they could just weep into their hands, 55 00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:53,931 but your version is much better. 56 00:01:53,932 --> 00:01:56,227 Yeah. 57 00:01:56,228 --> 00:01:58,608 Oh, are you planning on singing 58 00:01:58,609 --> 00:02:00,194 with your best pal, Alexis, 59 00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:02,949 or has she been preparing for her solo performance 60 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,703 since last year? 61 00:02:04,704 --> 00:02:07,166 Yeah, yeah, I bet she's putting fire in the show, 62 00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:08,878 or Riverdancing? 63 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,216 No, she's gonna wear that see-through leotard 64 00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:12,844 she wore for "Wicked." 65 00:02:12,845 --> 00:02:14,807 Sadly, that leotard is at the cleaner's, 66 00:02:14,808 --> 00:02:17,144 but I hear there might be a cape. 67 00:02:17,145 --> 00:02:20,067 - All right. - A cape? 68 00:02:20,068 --> 00:02:21,402 RONI: Are you seeing this? 69 00:02:21,403 --> 00:02:22,989 He's dabbing it on 70 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:25,703 just like the Sephora lip specialist taught us. 71 00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,582 Oz is so smart. 72 00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:30,839 Yeah, and so gay. 73 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,845 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 74 00:02:33,846 --> 00:02:35,850 ♪♪ 75 00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:38,604 Yeah, dude. 76 00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:40,148 We're gonna kill it. 77 00:02:40,149 --> 00:02:41,735 Oh, babe, get this. 78 00:02:41,736 --> 00:02:44,825 We're gonna sing "Pony" and go full "Magic Mike," 79 00:02:44,826 --> 00:02:45,869 you know what I'm saying? 80 00:02:45,870 --> 00:02:47,454 [BEATBOXING] 81 00:02:47,455 --> 00:02:49,166 I'm gonna need you to stop. 82 00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:51,797 Can we talk a sec? 83 00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:53,301 Yeah, yeah, one sec. 84 00:02:59,898 --> 00:03:04,781 Okay, so you know how much I care about you. 85 00:03:04,782 --> 00:03:06,284 I think so. 86 00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:08,706 And you know when I care about someone, 87 00:03:08,707 --> 00:03:10,375 I would do anything for them. 88 00:03:10,376 --> 00:03:12,087 I always put other people first. 89 00:03:12,088 --> 00:03:15,303 It's, honestly, probably my biggest flaw. 90 00:03:16,388 --> 00:03:17,600 Sure. 91 00:03:19,604 --> 00:03:23,737 So then you know you can talk to me about anything. 92 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,368 Cool, yeah, thanks. Uh, we good? 93 00:03:27,369 --> 00:03:28,996 I need to go, like, stretch it out before "Pony." 94 00:03:28,997 --> 00:03:32,962 What... what I'm saying is... 95 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,425 you can come out. 96 00:03:35,426 --> 00:03:37,346 Of? 97 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,851 Of this prison of walls you've built around you. 98 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:41,605 Are you drunk? 99 00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:44,569 I don't think I've ever been more sober in my life. 100 00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,949 It's obviously hard for you to say, but that's all right. 101 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,953 I can speak for you. 102 00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:51,667 Okay. 103 00:03:51,668 --> 00:03:53,295 You're gay. 104 00:03:58,264 --> 00:03:59,641 No, I'm not. 105 00:03:59,642 --> 00:04:01,603 I'm not mad. I'm an ally. 106 00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:03,774 Three words: it gets better. 107 00:04:03,775 --> 00:04:06,487 Three more words: I'm not gay. 108 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,951 Please, the tailoring, the lippy. 109 00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,412 - All the signs are there. - Okay. 110 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:12,876 I'm pretty sure that's really offensive. 111 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,336 How about the most obvious sign: 112 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,673 you won't have sex with me. 113 00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,886 That... that's not true, exactly. 114 00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:19,556 Am I not attractive? 115 00:04:19,557 --> 00:04:21,059 - Am I not enough? - No. 116 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,394 - You're beautiful. - So you're gay. 117 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,689 I'm not gay. 118 00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:25,067 That's the only possible reason. 119 00:04:25,068 --> 00:04:26,486 - No, it's not. - Then what is it? 120 00:04:26,487 --> 00:04:30,286 I have a broken penis. 121 00:04:37,217 --> 00:04:40,222 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 122 00:04:40,223 --> 00:04:47,195 ♪♪ 123 00:04:49,491 --> 00:04:51,077 ♪ I don't need your love ♪ 124 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,539 ♪ I don't need your love ♪ 125 00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:55,210 ♪ So why you bringing me down? ♪ 126 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,592 ♪ Come on, lift me up, come on, lift me up ♪ 127 00:04:58,593 --> 00:05:00,387 Melinda! 128 00:05:00,388 --> 00:05:02,600 ♪ You're not the only one, not the only one ♪ 129 00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,395 I'm not asking. 130 00:05:04,396 --> 00:05:06,608 Okay, I am, but willfully. 131 00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:08,069 ♪ Come on, lift me up ♪ 132 00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:09,865 ♪ Quit messing around ♪ 133 00:05:09,866 --> 00:05:12,620 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm really not the best dancer. 134 00:05:12,621 --> 00:05:14,165 I pretty much spend my life 135 00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:16,210 trying to avoid dancing in pubic. 136 00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:18,173 - Didn't you go to prom? - Yeah. 137 00:05:18,174 --> 00:05:20,511 I stamped your hand at the door. 138 00:05:20,512 --> 00:05:21,680 ♪♪ 139 00:05:21,681 --> 00:05:23,934 Right, right, right, right. 140 00:05:23,935 --> 00:05:26,189 - Excellent stamping skills. - Thank you. 141 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:32,869 ♪♪ 142 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:34,873 Oh, it's five minutes till karaoke. 143 00:05:34,874 --> 00:05:37,419 Bernie and I are about to go up there and kill it. 144 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,799 This was fun. Thank you. Thanks. 145 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,553 - Hang on. Sing with us. - No! 146 00:05:41,554 --> 00:05:43,849 The only thing more terrifying than dancing 147 00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:46,605 in public is singing in public. 148 00:05:46,606 --> 00:05:49,151 Well, that's all the more reason you should do it. 149 00:05:49,152 --> 00:05:51,280 Plus, I heard if you sing, you get a muffin. 150 00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:56,625 ♪♪ 151 00:05:56,626 --> 00:05:58,169 It better be blueberry. 152 00:05:58,170 --> 00:05:59,839 If it's bran, I walk. 153 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:00,841 Come on. 154 00:06:00,842 --> 00:06:06,771 ♪♪ 155 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,324 Not having my phone sucks, 156 00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:16,163 but I will say, I do feel very mindful. 157 00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:19,128 I'd feel a lot more mindful if I had my mindfulness app. 158 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,130 Hey, you seen Cody? 159 00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:21,465 Last time I saw him, 160 00:06:21,466 --> 00:06:22,510 he was hanging out with Stefania. 161 00:06:22,511 --> 00:06:24,681 Have you seen Stefania? 162 00:06:24,682 --> 00:06:26,810 No. 163 00:06:26,811 --> 00:06:29,273 It is grad night, mi amigo. 164 00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:31,194 Anything can happen. 165 00:06:32,865 --> 00:06:36,955 Aqua surveillance is the key to finding cosplay_queen_7, 166 00:06:36,956 --> 00:06:40,211 the anonymous Tumblr icon who has stolen our hearts. 167 00:06:40,212 --> 00:06:42,592 You take the land. I'll take the sea. 168 00:06:42,593 --> 00:06:44,303 - Oh. - What? 169 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,057 No, no, it's fine, I just thought I'd take the sea. 170 00:06:46,058 --> 00:06:47,935 - I have the goggles. - Because I lent them to you. 171 00:06:47,936 --> 00:06:49,313 Do you want to take the sea? Take the sea. 172 00:06:49,314 --> 00:06:50,649 - No, no, no, no, no. - [WHISTLE BLASTS] 173 00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:53,739 Karaoke will start in five minutes. 174 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,743 Whoo! 175 00:06:55,744 --> 00:06:59,333 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 176 00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:02,089 ♪♪ 177 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:05,554 Dang. The power of song. 178 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:08,519 You know you don't need any of this stuff. 179 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,313 You don't need any of this stuff. 180 00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:12,527 Your eyebrows are crafted by angels. 181 00:07:12,528 --> 00:07:15,490 Actually, an Estonian woman called Greta. 182 00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:18,747 Really? I need her number. 183 00:07:18,748 --> 00:07:21,418 Oh, sharing an esthetician. 184 00:07:21,419 --> 00:07:23,089 What's next, holding hands in public? 185 00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,553 [LAUGHS] Soon, okay? 186 00:07:25,554 --> 00:07:28,474 I just... I need it to be the right time. 187 00:07:28,475 --> 00:07:32,650 Hey, I know you'll come out when you want, if you want, 188 00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:35,907 and, I'll admit, I'm kind of digging the secrecy. 189 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:40,583 I know, right? I mean, it's sort of fun. 190 00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:42,962 Remember that one time at Roni's lake house, 191 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,551 where she asked me why I was wearing your bikini top? 192 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,763 Yeah, and you told her it was a style choice, 193 00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:50,644 and she and Lyssee switched tops five minutes later. 194 00:07:50,645 --> 00:07:57,199 You know, maybe we should trade bras for fashion reasons. 195 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,622 Okay. 196 00:08:06,343 --> 00:08:09,348 [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC] 197 00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:12,354 ♪♪ 198 00:08:12,355 --> 00:08:15,945 MAN: ♪ And now we're dancing in the afterglow ♪ 199 00:08:15,946 --> 00:08:18,784 And then the children's choir comes in out of nowhere 200 00:08:18,785 --> 00:08:20,495 and somehow makes it even sadder. 201 00:08:20,496 --> 00:08:23,334 "Christmas Shoes" is the ultimate depressing song. 202 00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:25,547 I was getting depressed by "Christmas Shoes" 203 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,925 way before it was cool. 204 00:08:26,926 --> 00:08:29,179 Well, I own it on a special green vinyl. 205 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:32,394 The album cover is shaped like an actual shoe. 206 00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:34,356 What... then... wait, wait, wait. 207 00:08:34,357 --> 00:08:38,072 How would you fit it on the record... never mind. 208 00:08:38,073 --> 00:08:42,289 You know what, this is the best possible iteration of karaoke. 209 00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:44,669 Oh, even better than singing with Roni 210 00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:46,255 while she provides the backing track 211 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:48,301 on her precious ukulele? 212 00:08:48,302 --> 00:08:50,138 What do you have against ukuleles? 213 00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:51,808 They're guitars that refuse to grow up. 214 00:08:51,809 --> 00:08:54,062 All right. Well, "Christmas Shoes" it is. 215 00:08:54,063 --> 00:08:56,651 It's got death, poverty, and Jesus: 216 00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:58,865 the holy trinity of buzzkill. 217 00:09:00,744 --> 00:09:03,999 Yeah, so it was broke. 218 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,755 Oh, there you guys are. Great news. 219 00:09:06,756 --> 00:09:10,011 The whole "Oz is gay" thing was a total misunderstanding. 220 00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:13,059 - He broke his penis. - During lacrosse. 221 00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:16,691 - Lacrosse? - Yes, lacrosse. 222 00:09:16,692 --> 00:09:19,739 See, I knew there was a reason he wasn't having sex with me. 223 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,408 I didn't know you could break a penis. 224 00:09:21,409 --> 00:09:22,787 Oh, you can. 225 00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:23,830 Although, technically it's a fracture 226 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,333 since there's no bone. 227 00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:27,838 Wait, Roni, don't you go to every game? 228 00:09:27,839 --> 00:09:29,216 Wouldn't you have seen this happen? 229 00:09:29,217 --> 00:09:30,969 Oz has a really high pain tolerance. 230 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,556 He might not have noticed until after, 231 00:09:32,557 --> 00:09:34,519 or it could have been at practice. 232 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,105 Then why didn't he tell you? 233 00:09:36,106 --> 00:09:38,442 I guess he didn't want to worry me. 234 00:09:38,443 --> 00:09:41,073 Poor kid, suffering in silence. 235 00:09:41,074 --> 00:09:42,827 So brave. 236 00:09:42,828 --> 00:09:45,123 - This doesn't add up. - Yes, it does. 237 00:09:45,124 --> 00:09:47,210 Here, let me show you. 238 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:49,381 Okay, Jonas is Oz. 239 00:09:49,382 --> 00:09:50,592 Hi... hey, guys. 240 00:09:50,593 --> 00:09:52,680 There's no need for Oz to speak. 241 00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,224 So Jonas is Oz, 242 00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:56,270 and I'm the opposing player who is very evil. 243 00:09:56,271 --> 00:09:58,065 How evil? 244 00:09:58,066 --> 00:10:00,988 Like Cersei Lannister evil or like Voldemort evil? 245 00:10:00,989 --> 00:10:03,827 Like their supremely evil child. 246 00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,664 - What? - [LAUGHS] 247 00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:07,752 I don't think you understand the ramifications in both canons of the... 248 00:10:07,753 --> 00:10:09,547 Shh. Okay. 249 00:10:09,548 --> 00:10:13,095 So I'm coming at you with my big stick, and... 250 00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:14,682 - Ahh! - Yeah. 251 00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:16,770 But it's a contact sport, so he's wearing a cup. 252 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:18,230 - I'm not. - Hush. 253 00:10:18,231 --> 00:10:21,613 So maybe the angle is more like... 254 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:23,365 Ahh! Maybe Stymie could be Oz. 255 00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:25,996 And then it goes under the cup, right? 256 00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:28,459 - And he was hard? - What? No. 257 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,296 Why would he be hard during lacrosse? 258 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,465 Love of the game. 259 00:10:31,466 --> 00:10:33,302 Or maybe he was not aroused 260 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:34,806 by lacrosse and broke it anyway. 261 00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:37,268 Ron, I'm sorry, 262 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:39,439 but if he was flaccid, he would have a bruise. 263 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,612 If he broke it, he was turgid. 264 00:10:43,031 --> 00:10:45,536 SAT word. 740 verbal, bitches. 265 00:10:45,537 --> 00:10:46,955 I'm not getting turgid for this. 266 00:10:46,956 --> 00:10:48,415 No, you're... you're wrong. 267 00:10:48,416 --> 00:10:50,629 I mean, what makes you such an expert? 268 00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,049 I have a friend who broke one. 269 00:10:53,301 --> 00:10:55,054 - Google it. - Okay. 270 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,558 But what if a weight fell on him, 271 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,939 or Oz's soft is like a normal guy's hard. 272 00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:02,820 Roni, respectfully... 273 00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:05,449 your dude was boning someone else. 274 00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,621 ♪♪ 275 00:11:07,622 --> 00:11:09,543 Is there any way he could still be gay? 276 00:11:15,597 --> 00:11:17,725 - Left cheek. - Right cheek. 277 00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:18,727 Left cheek. 278 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:19,979 Right cheek. 279 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,356 - Left cheek. - Right cheek. 280 00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:23,528 - Left cheek. - Okay. 281 00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:26,450 BOTH: Shake that fatty, shake, shake that fatty. 282 00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:30,082 - Shake that fatty! - Shake that fatty. 283 00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,128 Ooh, she got a big one, now it's getting smaller. 284 00:11:32,129 --> 00:11:34,049 Oh, cool, cool, 'cause you should call her. 285 00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,844 Tell her that you are gonna... 286 00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:37,514 BOTH: Thighs, uh, thighs, uh. 287 00:11:37,515 --> 00:11:39,560 Thighs, thighs, thighs. 288 00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:41,355 BOTH: Thighs, uh, thighs, uh. 289 00:11:41,356 --> 00:11:42,983 Da-da-da-da. Ay! 290 00:11:42,984 --> 00:11:44,612 Drop it down low, put your hand on my booty. 291 00:11:44,613 --> 00:11:46,658 Take it back 'cause you're broody, I'm fruity. 292 00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:48,494 I ain't playing games. Do I look like a Tetris? 293 00:11:48,495 --> 00:11:50,039 Shake it so hard that it's trimmer. 294 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,918 BOTH: Ooh-lee, booty sweat. 295 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,630 Ooh-lee, booty sweat. 296 00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:56,511 Ooh-lee, booty sweat, twerking... 297 00:11:56,512 --> 00:11:59,140 - Percocet. - Hey, shake that fatty. 298 00:11:59,141 --> 00:12:00,852 - Shake, shake that fatty. - Nope. 299 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:02,773 The mic stays on you till you show off those pipes. 300 00:12:02,774 --> 00:12:04,109 - I cannot do this. - Come on. 301 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,779 We're all embarrassing ourselves. 302 00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:08,827 It's more embarrassing not to embarrass yourself. 303 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,914 All right, how about together. Come on, hey. 304 00:12:10,915 --> 00:12:14,200 ALL: Shake that fatty, shake, shake that fatty. 305 00:12:14,213 --> 00:12:18,220 Shake that fatty, shake, shake that fatty, fatty. 306 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:21,894 Shake that fatty, shake, shake that fatty, fatty. 307 00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:25,610 Shake that fatty, shake, shake that fatty. 308 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:26,905 Shake that fatty. 309 00:12:30,203 --> 00:12:32,415 I'm not gonna go back in the pool. 310 00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:33,793 You don't have to sit up there. 311 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,257 Oh, great. My back is killing me. 312 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:42,018 You got some nice def on those shoulders. 313 00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:43,980 Were you on the swim team in high school? 314 00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:46,611 - I was a cheerleader. - Cool. 315 00:12:46,612 --> 00:12:48,948 Cool, cool, cool. 316 00:12:48,949 --> 00:12:52,497 I'm more of a winter sports man, myself. 317 00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:54,084 Do you play hockey? 318 00:12:54,085 --> 00:12:56,589 Do a bit of curling. 319 00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:59,219 They have a team up at Dartmouth... 320 00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:01,139 where I'm going to school in the fall... 321 00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:06,191 to be a doctor... maybe without borders. 322 00:13:06,192 --> 00:13:08,905 [LAUGHS] 323 00:13:08,906 --> 00:13:11,159 Have fun looking at a lot of rashes. 324 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,831 Oh, I will. 325 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,968 Okay, well, I'm gonna go use the restroom. 326 00:13:21,723 --> 00:13:22,808 I'll try not to drown while you're gone. 327 00:13:22,809 --> 00:13:24,521 Yeah, either way. 328 00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:40,635 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 329 00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:42,556 - Maybe he's in the lounge. - Yeah. 330 00:13:42,557 --> 00:13:44,225 - There he is. - Hey. 331 00:13:44,226 --> 00:13:47,941 You disgusting, rotten, cheating little slut. 332 00:13:47,942 --> 00:13:49,402 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, babe. 333 00:13:49,403 --> 00:13:51,323 Don't you "babe" me. 334 00:13:51,324 --> 00:13:53,327 There was no lacrosse dick-breaking. 335 00:13:53,328 --> 00:13:56,876 There was only you cheating on your super-hot, kind, 336 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,880 whimsical girlfriend dick-breaking. 337 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,675 No way. Babe, it was lacrosse. 338 00:14:00,676 --> 00:14:02,804 Oh, yeah? Show me how it happened. 339 00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,975 You're being crazy. 340 00:14:04,976 --> 00:14:06,687 - Show me. - Okay. 341 00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:09,985 So, I mean, you know, I was just playing lacrosse, 342 00:14:09,986 --> 00:14:12,991 like I do, you know, really well, 343 00:14:12,992 --> 00:14:15,705 and so... and the ball just kind of hit me right here. 344 00:14:15,706 --> 00:14:17,124 Wrong. 345 00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:19,253 - The guy's stick just... - How? 346 00:14:19,254 --> 00:14:20,422 Well, there's certain angles... 347 00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:21,842 - There aren't. - Okay. 348 00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:23,805 You know what? Fine, yeah, I cheated. 349 00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:25,725 So congratulations, Bones. 350 00:14:25,726 --> 00:14:28,189 You cracked the case of the hot sophomore. 351 00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:36,622 I can't believe you would do this to us... to me. 352 00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:39,753 And with a sophomore? 353 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,882 Yeah. 354 00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:44,680 I mean, if it helps, she kind of looks like you. 355 00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:48,020 Nobody looks like Roni. She's unique and perfect. 356 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,274 Oh, you think that's funny, funny boy? 357 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:53,030 - Come at me, bro. - Forget it, Lyssee. 358 00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:55,785 I already have. 359 00:14:55,786 --> 00:15:01,296 ♪♪ 360 00:15:01,297 --> 00:15:03,801 Alexis. 361 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:07,601 Hey, you've got sad eyes. 362 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,230 - I dig it. - What? 363 00:15:10,231 --> 00:15:12,068 And just so you know, 364 00:15:12,069 --> 00:15:14,573 my dick's the opposite of broken. 365 00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:16,744 And the size of that tiny blue pill. 366 00:15:16,745 --> 00:15:18,957 Sounds about right. 367 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,426 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 368 00:15:25,846 --> 00:15:27,849 You ready? 369 00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:29,895 If you are. 370 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,817 Let's do it, dude. 371 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,206 [DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] 372 00:15:42,087 --> 00:15:44,006 ♪♪ 373 00:15:44,007 --> 00:15:47,346 ♪ It was almost Christmastime ♪ 374 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,895 ♪ There I stood in another line ♪ 375 00:15:50,896 --> 00:15:54,653 BOTH: ♪ Trying to buy the best gift or two ♪ 376 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:58,076 ♪ Not really in the Christmas mood ♪ 377 00:15:58,077 --> 00:16:01,166 ♪ And standing right in front of me ♪ 378 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:05,424 ♪ Was a little boy waiting anxiously ♪ 379 00:16:05,425 --> 00:16:08,681 ♪ Pacing around like little boys do ♪ 380 00:16:08,682 --> 00:16:11,394 ♪ And in his hands he held ♪ 381 00:16:11,395 --> 00:16:16,029 ♪ A pair of shoes ♪ 382 00:16:16,030 --> 00:16:19,410 ♪ And his clothes were worn and old ♪ 383 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:23,460 ♪ He was dirty from head to toe ♪ 384 00:16:23,461 --> 00:16:26,759 ♪ And when it came his time to pay ♪ 385 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:31,977 ♪ I couldn't believe what I heard him say ♪ 386 00:16:31,978 --> 00:16:35,652 ♪ So I want to buy these shoes ♪ 387 00:16:35,653 --> 00:16:39,492 ♪ For my mama, please ♪ 388 00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:41,872 ♪ It's Christmastime and these... ♪ 389 00:16:41,873 --> 00:16:46,757 BOTH: ♪ Shoes are just her size ♪ 390 00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:49,387 ♪ Could you hurry, sir ♪ 391 00:16:49,388 --> 00:16:52,184 ♪ Daddy says there's not much time... ♪ 392 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:54,355 I have an announcement concerning all of you. 393 00:16:54,356 --> 00:16:57,403 Roni Sweetzer is effing single. 394 00:16:57,404 --> 00:17:00,536 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 395 00:17:05,754 --> 00:17:08,258 - Fig. - Yeah, oh. 396 00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:11,598 Uh, yeah. "Christmas Shoes," everyone. 397 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:14,313 Whoo! 398 00:17:19,949 --> 00:17:21,869 It's only fun to make grad night look sad 399 00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,413 when it's two people singing; when it's one person singing, 400 00:17:23,414 --> 00:17:25,459 grad night doesn't look sad, I do. 401 00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:27,964 Yes, but you nailed the song. 402 00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:30,595 - I objectively did not. - Why are you so upset? 403 00:17:30,596 --> 00:17:33,058 So we didn't show karaoke, Roni did. 404 00:17:33,059 --> 00:17:36,189 I get that you hate her, but this isn't a big deal. 405 00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:39,988 Because you bailed on me. I get it. 406 00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,659 It's not a big deal, but you still did. 407 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,286 Okay, you're right. 408 00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:46,000 I'm sorry, but it's just... 409 00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:47,712 I've been waiting for this for so long. 410 00:17:47,713 --> 00:17:49,549 Roni Sweetzer's effing single. 411 00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,804 And she still effing sucks. 412 00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:53,390 You don't even know her. 413 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,810 You don't even know her. 414 00:17:54,811 --> 00:17:56,229 I'm the one that's been following her 415 00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:58,316 - for like four years. - Seriously? 416 00:17:58,317 --> 00:17:59,695 I've seen all her posts on Instagram. 417 00:17:59,696 --> 00:18:01,239 Her covers actually mean something. 418 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,951 Oh, my God, I can't with you right now. 419 00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:05,080 I'm gonna go find Cassie, you know, my friend 420 00:18:05,081 --> 00:18:07,084 who didn't leave me standing on that stage singing a song 421 00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:09,506 about shoes for a dying woman to meet Jesus in. 422 00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,885 - [LAUGHING] - It's not funny. 423 00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:15,100 It's pretty... it's funny. 424 00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:17,564 - Kill it! - Yes! 425 00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:19,651 [VIDEO GAME BEEPING] 426 00:18:19,652 --> 00:18:22,949 Oh, my gosh, you're amazing. 427 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:26,456 You know, if I were in love with a ridiculously hot guy 428 00:18:26,457 --> 00:18:29,629 and found out the entire thing was a cruel charade, 429 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:33,889 I'd be a total mess, but you're handling this so well. 430 00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:38,438 I'm so, so sad, 431 00:18:38,439 --> 00:18:40,651 and I can't even tweet song lyrics 432 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,783 because I have no phone, and no Oz, and... 433 00:18:43,784 --> 00:18:47,457 [CRYING] I just want my mom. 434 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,671 It's okay. 435 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,427 I can be strong for both of us. 436 00:18:57,435 --> 00:18:59,313 Oh, you're still here? 437 00:18:59,314 --> 00:19:02,236 Uh... Uh, yeah. 438 00:19:02,237 --> 00:19:04,866 - Sorry, here. - Thanks. 439 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,327 I wish I had something else to read, 440 00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:10,043 like... like maybe an "O" Magazine. 441 00:19:10,044 --> 00:19:13,676 Some other things I like are chunky jewelry 442 00:19:13,677 --> 00:19:16,640 over a cashmere sweater cape... 443 00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:18,351 Zumba... 444 00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:19,647 [LAUGHS] Uh... 445 00:19:21,316 --> 00:19:23,069 Cozying up with some rosé 446 00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:26,535 and whatever's on Lifetime Movie Network. 447 00:19:26,536 --> 00:19:28,707 Wait, you're into LMN? 448 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,172 Yeah, yeah. 449 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,761 Most people think Lifetime doesn't bother 450 00:19:35,762 --> 00:19:37,180 with movies anymore. 451 00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:39,728 What? Those people are imbeciles. 452 00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:42,817 They had to create a whole separate channel for the movies 453 00:19:42,818 --> 00:19:45,196 - because they're so awesome. - Exactly. 454 00:19:45,197 --> 00:19:47,409 I mean, my husband always teases me about it, 455 00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:49,998 but I think it is quality programming. 456 00:19:49,999 --> 00:19:51,793 Did you catch the one that was on last weekend? 457 00:19:51,794 --> 00:19:53,505 BOTH: "Pandora's Basket." 458 00:19:53,506 --> 00:19:56,177 So good. So relevant. 459 00:19:56,178 --> 00:19:58,431 That scene where Alice goes into Dante's dresser 460 00:19:58,432 --> 00:20:00,060 and discovers all the broken wind chimes? 461 00:20:00,061 --> 00:20:02,147 - Haunting. - Haunting. 462 00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:03,483 Hey there, Bryce. 463 00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:05,153 You're not in there singing karaoke? 464 00:20:05,154 --> 00:20:09,328 No. I'm going to be a doctor. 465 00:20:09,329 --> 00:20:11,082 Hon, your two hours is up. 466 00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:14,965 I can take over, although it's not actually taking over 467 00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:17,177 since you're not even in the chair. 468 00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:18,931 Oh, no one's swimming. 469 00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:20,100 Maybe they feel, 470 00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:21,352 I don't know, unsafe, 471 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:24,149 since no one's in the chair. 472 00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:25,402 I think it's fine. 473 00:20:25,403 --> 00:20:28,534 Hello, is that a new swimsuit? 474 00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:30,245 - You like it? - Yeah. 475 00:20:30,246 --> 00:20:33,669 But I thought we were saving up for a new upright vac. 476 00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:38,512 Ugh, God. 477 00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:40,223 ♪♪ 478 00:20:40,224 --> 00:20:42,603 Stay out of that water. 479 00:20:42,604 --> 00:20:44,189 Stay out. 480 00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:48,489 ♪♪ 481 00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:54,209 ♪ I'm coming out ♪ 482 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,713 ♪♪ 483 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,299 ♪ I'm coming ♪ 484 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,344 ♪ I'm coming out ♪ 485 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:06,192 ♪ I want the world to know, I got to let it show ♪ 486 00:21:06,193 --> 00:21:08,739 ♪ I'm coming out ♪ 487 00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:14,793 ♪ I want the world to know, I got to let it show ♪ 488 00:21:14,794 --> 00:21:16,797 ♪ There's a new me coming out ♪ 489 00:21:16,798 --> 00:21:19,009 ♪ And I just have to live ♪ 490 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:22,265 Okay, even I have to admit this is pretty great. 491 00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:24,061 It's amazing. 492 00:21:24,062 --> 00:21:27,944 ♪ I think this time around I am gonna do it ♪ 493 00:21:27,945 --> 00:21:29,446 ♪ Like you never knew it ♪ 494 00:21:29,447 --> 00:21:31,910 I think she's saying she's gay. 495 00:21:31,911 --> 00:21:33,747 Dude, just because she doesn't want to go out with you 496 00:21:33,748 --> 00:21:35,125 doesn't make her a lesbian. 497 00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:37,212 Why does everyone think everyone is gay? 498 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:41,303 ♪ I have to shout that I am coming out ♪ 499 00:21:41,304 --> 00:21:44,017 ♪ I'm coming out ♪ 500 00:21:44,018 --> 00:21:49,821 ♪ I want the world to know, I got to let it show ♪ 501 00:21:49,822 --> 00:21:52,367 ♪ I'm coming out ♪ 502 00:21:52,368 --> 00:21:54,664 That's my girl! Whoo! 503 00:21:54,665 --> 00:21:58,672 ♪ I want the world to know, I got to let it show ♪ 504 00:21:58,673 --> 00:22:00,968 I'm coming out! 505 00:22:00,969 --> 00:22:03,975 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 506 00:22:06,271 --> 00:22:07,732 P.S., 507 00:22:07,733 --> 00:22:10,362 I'm gay. 508 00:22:11,616 --> 00:22:14,622 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 509 00:22:24,057 --> 00:22:27,062 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 510 00:22:27,063 --> 00:22:31,487 ♪♪ 511 00:22:31,488 --> 00:22:34,869 Oh, I wish I had my phone! Yay! 512 00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:37,876 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 513 00:22:46,059 --> 00:22:49,064 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 514 00:22:49,065 --> 00:22:56,029 ♪♪ 515 00:22:56,030 --> 00:23:01,030 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.Addic7ed.com --