1 00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:54,291 »Wondrous to wander through mists! Parted are bush and stone, 2 00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:59,166 None to the other exists, Each stands alone. 3 00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:04,040 Many my friends came calling then, when I lived in the light; 4 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,040 Now that the fogs are falling, None is in sight. 5 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,583 Truly, only the sages, Fathom the darkness to fall, 6 00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:20,040 Which, as silent as cages, Separates all. Strange to walk in the mists! 7 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:28,416 Life has to solitude grown. None for the other exists: Each is alone.« 8 00:03:55,416 --> 00:04:01,958 Ursula! Which Ursula? No, I am on holiday. Yes, thank you, out. 9 00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:09,499 Jacques, dammit, Jacques, I am tired of having to repeat myself. 10 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,875 Yes, I want to be on this front page. Thank you. Out. 11 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:19,916 My dear Fritz, »before you shake your head, make sure you have got one. « 12 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:26,874 Jacques, I really don’t care if the cover is already booked for the World Chancellor. 13 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:34,750 Buy the editor then, the paper, the whole damned country. Yes, I want to be on the front page! Out! 14 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:38,582 Gentlemen, follow me, please. 15 00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:43,916 Jacques, stop getting on my nerves. Then torture that nitwit, you plonker! 16 00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:49,915 Yes, of course it hurts. That is kind of the whole point of it and saves an enormous amount of time! 17 00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:54,375 Oh, you haven’t thought about that. Do it now, then! Thank you. Out. 18 00:04:55,375 --> 00:05:01,000 - Gentlemen, follow me, please. - Jacques, dammit, I want to be on this front page! Out! 19 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,916 - And what do you want from me? - Follow me, please. 20 00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,540 No smoking, please. 21 00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:14,791 Tut... 22 00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:31,083 Dear me! Which blind, talentless craftsman is responsible for this disaster? 23 00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:35,790 This, my dear Franz, is an authentic Johannes Ode. 24 00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:37,208 - That so? - Hmmm. 25 00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:41,166 Gentlemen, follow me, please. 26 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:56,166 How disgusting. 27 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,083 How incredibly ugly and naff this establishment is. 28 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:15,541 My dear Fritz, didn’t we explicitly ask for the Royal Suite? 29 00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:23,707 And this stinking cowshed costs 5000 Weltmarks a day? 30 00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:27,749 Before the war, in old currency, that would have been 500.000 Euro, wouldn’t it? 31 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:32,416 - 475.000 - 475.000! Imagine that! 32 00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:20,666 Mon Dieu! A four-poster! 33 00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:28,000 Pffft! Everything is so incredibly ugly! So... so uncivilized! So horrid! 34 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,125 Yes, comme toujours, dear Fritz. Read, suck, smoke, sleep. 35 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:40,791 Read, suck, smoke, sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. 36 00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:48,583 »Sleep is a short death and death is a long sleep.« 37 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,916 What are we supposed to do? 38 00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:01,416 Will something happen already? 39 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:18,375 Dear Fritz, I need your undivided attention immediately! This place makes me utterly malade. 40 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:28,666 Dear Fritz, could you possibly take me in your arms for a moment? 41 00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:35,500 A little hug? A snuggle? Consolation? 42 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:09,499 Dear visitors, welcome to »Seelenfrieden«. 43 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,125 My name is Prof. Dr. Immanuel Young. 44 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:17,041 Please sit down. Please chillax. 45 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:20,624 Dear visitors, welcome to... 46 00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:21,791 This is disgusting! 47 00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:25,000 What does it even mean? 48 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,291 I want him to stop 49 00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:33,624 - Fritz, he must stop at once! He must stop... - Franz... 50 00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:36,790 - He must stop... - Franz, do calm down. 51 00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:40,915 - Somebody turn it off, dammit! - Franz, do calm down. 52 00:09:40,916 --> 00:09:45,957 Calm down, I am always supposed to calm down! I am calm, bloody hell! 53 00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:53,457 It is not my fault that everything here is so disgustingly uncivilized and ugly. 54 00:09:54,457 --> 00:09:57,415 Dear visitors, welcome to... 55 00:09:57,416 --> 00:10:03,207 Yes, the style of my environment is greatly important to me. How did Nietzsche put it so aptly: 56 00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:08,250 »To improve the style is to improve the thought. « 57 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:10,416 Hear! Hear! 58 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,791 Dear visitors, welcome to »Seelenfrieden«. 59 00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:28,375 Fritz? Fritz, I am incredibly hungry, all of a sudden. 60 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:37,375 - And I already am as fat as a pig. No! - »Success makes you happy like a pig in shit.« 61 00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:43,456 Hold your peace! And stop blabbing at me so incessantly! I am dying of thirst! 62 00:10:43,457 --> 00:10:48,125 Where is the organic champagne and extra tender seal fillet I ordered? 63 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:56,250 And, mon dieu, can somebody please turn off this nerve-racking voice? 64 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:05,041 Merci. God in the heavens above, this place makes you mad! 65 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:10,041 - Talking about madness, there is this famous saying... - Now do stop talking! 66 00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:18,331 You don’t understand the tiniest bit. You don’t get the simplest facts of life! 67 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:20,000 The big picture! 68 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:30,665 As Seneca put it: »Not WHAT you endure is important, but HOW you endure it.« 69 00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:34,249 That, my dear Franz, does not make the slightest bit of sense. 70 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:38,540 At times, some reflective thought would suit you far better 71 00:11:38,541 --> 00:11:41,540 than quoting one of your self-proclaimed great thinkers. 72 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:47,125 Of whom you, deplorably and embarrassingly, haven't read anything but quotes and aphorisms. 73 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:53,915 Wasn't it only recently that you learned Plato isn't a planet? 74 00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:55,332 Schmock! 75 00:11:56,332 --> 00:12:00,541 It does make perfect sense. Then again, possibly not for a fuckwit like you. 76 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:04,250 I, on the other hand, I understand everything. 77 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:13,250 Yup. Because I'm handsome and intelligent while you, you're hideous and dim. 78 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:17,332 Alright then, how about another good-looking, intelligent little kiss, Sir? 79 00:12:19,332 --> 00:12:22,665 Everybody should be looking good to begin with. 80 00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:27,500 Even if, or maybe especially if they cannot perceive what's »good-looking«. 81 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:33,332 Yes, take blind people for instance. Yes, the blind should be good-looking. 82 00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:38,331 Everybody should look good and intelligent. 83 00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:42,041 In fact the whole world should be looking good, for chrissakes! 84 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:45,000 Haha! We've got a fascist here! 85 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:51,332 And by the way: »An aphorism is the last link in a long chain of thought.« 86 00:12:53,332 --> 00:12:59,666 - But you get some good sleep! - »Even sleep is a form of critique, especially at the theatre.« 87 00:13:01,666 --> 00:13:05,082 Oh, this is funny, my dearest esteemed Wits. 88 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:11,832 Wits, Fritz! Fritz, wits, wits, Fritz... 89 00:13:12,832 --> 00:13:18,125 Yes, that might be the solution. Maybe I should just take things with a greater deal of humour. 90 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:24,831 As the saying goes: »Humour is the umbrella of the wise.« 91 00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:31,165 Oh, and by the way, Witsy-Fritzy, »better well-quoted then half-wittedly made-up«, innit? 92 00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:37,790 Chapeau, Franz! You're so inspired. You're quite the unrecognised genius. 93 00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:42,456 Eventually, everyone is going to quote your words just like you quote others: 94 00:13:42,457 --> 00:13:47,000 »The great Franz Freudenthal once said that Albert Einstein allegedly once said: 95 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:53,416 Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity'.« 96 00:13:55,416 --> 00:14:01,665 By the way. the quote is about you, my dearest Dunce, er... 97 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:05,916 - Franz. Dunce, Franz, Dunce... - Shut up, you... 98 00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:16,499 Genius! Genius! Unrecognised genius! 99 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,457 Spirit, gods, luminaries – gather. 100 00:14:21,457 --> 00:14:26,500 Come running! Yes, one must ultimately agree. 101 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:34,706 I surrender. Two inimitable great minds have slipped 102 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,125 though society's creative fingers. 103 00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:41,457 What dizzy heights those two could have reached, 104 00:14:42,457 --> 00:14:45,332 had they only been inflated with helium! 105 00:14:46,332 --> 00:14:52,706 Two birdbrains fighting for the big, fat, slimy worm of wisdom. 106 00:14:52,707 --> 00:14:56,666 Well then, let us abandon this topic for a bit 107 00:14:57,666 --> 00:15:01,790 for me to take advantage of the situation 108 00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:06,832 and explain the backgrounds of the story so far. 109 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:10,250 It’s the year 2020. 110 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:15,540 Every day, billions of people all over the world are falling victim 111 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:22,790 to the Establishment’s digital, medial, narcissistic, hedonistic, careerist, self-exploitatory, 112 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:30,500 masochistic, egomanic and consumerist sensory overload and suggestion. 113 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:37,956 Inexplicably hitherto, hundreds of millions of First-World citizens 114 00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:40,000 have come down with anhedonia: 115 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,541 the inability to experience joy, lust and satisfaction. 116 00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:51,415 Two exemplary victims of these dreadful circumstances 117 00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:56,041 are the odd yet inseparable couple and offspring of the aristocracy, 118 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,915 Franz and Fritz Freudenthal. 119 00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:04,831 Franz and Fritz have been world famous for all their lives. 120 00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:07,915 They are the inheritors of billions and sons 121 00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:11,041 of the legendary notorious chansonnier Friedrich Freudenthal 122 00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:16,206 and the extraordinary performance artist Luise Freudenthal who founded 123 00:16:16,207 --> 00:16:21,624 the sect-party »Hedonism for the World«. 124 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:24,581 Both parents jumped to their deaths 125 00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:28,915 during a new year’s performance on Times Square, 126 00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:32,125 their spirits enebriated by alcohol, opium and laughing gas 127 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:39,581 as a manifesto for love and hedonistic world peace 128 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:44,082 in front of rolling cameras and their children. 129 00:16:45,082 --> 00:16:51,125 Franz and Fritz, shaken and traumatised by this tragedy 130 00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:55,000 are then entrusted to the care of 131 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:02,665 a nudist artists’ commune named »The Body Must Breathe«, 132 00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:06,208 where children are raised strictly according to the teachings of 133 00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:14,540 the party founded by Luise Freudenthal, that views fun as life’s highest good. 134 00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:19,498 This happens with great solicitude and success. 135 00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:22,623 Franz and Fritz soon turn out 136 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,873 as perfect paramount examples of hedonistic enormity. 137 00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:29,499 After years of excessive pleasure 138 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:33,083 and abuse of all conceivable zest stimulants, 139 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:39,539 a failed cabaret career as »Freudenthal Bros«, 140 00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:44,457 a double-presidential candidacy for the »World Party Of Fun« 141 00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:47,664 messed up with panache and several failed impulsive marriages, 142 00:17:47,665 --> 00:17:52,749 both, like hundreds of millions of other first-world citizens 143 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:56,040 unexpected and suddenly came down with anhedonia. 144 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:03,664 Totally devoid of any meaning and tortured by their sorry existence 145 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:08,915 bereft of all joy and appetite, they vegetate 146 00:18:09,915 --> 00:18:15,083 until they become aware of the new, unique zest-stimuli therapy 147 00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:22,208 of world-famous and hip psychotherapist Prof. Dr. Immanuel Young, 148 00:18:23,208 --> 00:18:26,500 in which they see the solution to all of their problems. 149 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:34,499 Site of the events so far is the main residence of the therapy-, 150 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:39,040 rehab- and wellness-resort »Seelenfrieden Island«. 151 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:46,250 So far, so good. Thanks for your undivided attention. 152 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,333 Are disgusting me. 153 00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,708 I am slightly unwell. 154 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:06,375 Oh, I feel quite giddy. I need alcohol immediately! 155 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:14,375 Fritz, I think I am fainting. Fritz, I think... For Heaven’s sake. Fritz, I think I am dying 156 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:19,332 My Lord, I am dying... 157 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:24,789 »You have to keep silent or say things, which are even better than silence.« 158 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,500 Cut! 159 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:31,750 Aw, no. You can’t be serious. 160 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:37,749 Amateurs! I have seen quite a lot of rubbish in my life, 161 00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:41,040 but this pile of shit is the biggest pile of them all! 162 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:47,165 You cunts! You are ruining my film! My work! 163 00:19:50,165 --> 00:19:51,790 I want do die. 164 00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:55,230 Schorsch, you didn’t like it at all? 165 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:59,332 - Because, well, I thought it went pretty well. - I thought it went pretty well, too. 166 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:02,415 I mean, what do you want? What shall we do? I... 167 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:06,915 Everything. Simply everything. 168 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:13,458 I want a pop now! Dammit, I need a pop. But with a straw. Hans! 169 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:16,915 Here you are, Schorsch! 170 00:20:21,915 --> 00:20:24,000 - Thank you, Schorsch! - Bloody fucking shit! 171 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,165 You are not too quick on the uptake, aren't you? That was hideous! 172 00:20:29,165 --> 00:20:34,957 - Well, Schorsch, I mean, somehow, constructive criticism is absolutely okay... - Yes, I agree. 173 00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:39,539 - but, I think, you really don’t have to get that abusive and personal. 174 00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:47,414 Yes, I think he is right. If you could somehow decently explain what you are getting at? 175 00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:51,208 - It might be easier to play then, too. - Explain? - Yes. 176 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:54,808 - You want me to explain everything now? - Well, not everything... 177 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,539 - You read the script and were enthusiastic! - Yessir! 178 00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:03,083 You don’t agree to do a film when you don’t understand its subject. 179 00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:11,289 Or are you just in it for the money? Are you just cheap two-bob whores? 180 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:14,000 - No, Schorsch, of course not! - Not at all! 181 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,800 - We both read the script and... - Yeah,... 182 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:21,624 - I would even say we understood, right? - Read it enthusiastically, enthusiastically. - Right. 183 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:26,957 But I think, for the further course of the shoot, what would really help us 184 00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:32,914 would be if you could maybe outline the film, or its essential meaning, in one sentence. 185 00:21:32,915 --> 00:21:35,957 - Yes, I agree, because I am myself not absolutely... 186 00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:41,207 The essential meaning of the film? Now? Midway through shooting? 187 00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:44,458 You must be completely out of your minds! 188 00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:50,375 Alright, let me spell it out for you: 189 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:56,125 Well, my film deals with the big question of humanity: 190 00:21:57,125 --> 00:22:00,665 what is the »good life«? 191 00:22:01,665 --> 00:22:07,000 My film is about freedom, justice, about happiness 192 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,874 capitalism, death and love. 193 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:19,625 In my film, the appallingly grotesque face of human existence is revealed. 194 00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:26,375 We all are born into this world and then die accidentally, 195 00:22:27,375 --> 00:22:31,749 but in between, and the two of you are the perfect example, 196 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:36,875 in between there is a period of infinite stupidity! 197 00:22:38,875 --> 00:22:46,083 Well, to put it in a nutshell, my film is about human stupidity. 198 00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:49,500 Have you got it now? Alright? Understood? 199 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,458 Capisce? Claro que si? Okay? 200 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,665 - Yes, okay. - Okay. 201 00:22:57,665 --> 00:22:58,665 Okay. 202 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:06,875 Well, let’s go on, then. On your marks. 203 00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:12,625 - Sound? - Sound is rolling. 204 00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:15,165 - Camera? - Camera is rolling. 205 00:23:18,165 --> 00:23:20,000 - Action! - I think I am dying... 206 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:26,415 »You should either be silent, or say things that are even better than silence.« 207 00:23:38,415 --> 00:23:43,415 Dear, highly esteemed guests, please awake gently from your warm slumbers. 208 00:23:45,415 --> 00:23:53,415 Et voilà! Let us now start directly with step one of my unique and award-winning zest-stimuli therapy. 209 00:23:55,250 --> 00:24:01,665 This step is called »activus vegetus« or, in plain language »movement«. 210 00:24:05,665 --> 00:24:09,458 My chief lackey Rüdiger will take your firearms now. 211 00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:13,250 Please don’t put up any resistance. 212 00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:18,458 This happens entirely for your own well-being and safety. 213 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:27,458 - Give me that. - Now we are stripped of our basic right to carry guns! 214 00:24:28,458 --> 00:24:29,458 This is tyranny! 215 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:35,083 Afterwards Rüdiger will lead you outside and familiarise you with the amenities of my unique, 216 00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:39,290 personal Garden of Eden. 217 00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:44,500 Trust me, I am always with you and watch over you. 218 00:24:55,500 --> 00:25:01,749 - Follow me, please. - What? Where are our taxis? With the slaves? 219 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:06,083 You don’t really believe, that I will walk a single yard by foot, you joke of a chief lackey? 220 00:25:07,083 --> 00:25:09,000 - Him. - Do you follow me now? 221 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,832 - The hell I will! I want to see my slaves here right now! Pronto! 222 00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:16,414 Come on, you dosser, get moving! 223 00:25:16,415 --> 00:25:19,582 Are you out of your mind, you stupid lackey? 224 00:25:19,583 --> 00:25:23,664 - Go, you dosser! March! - I will have you flogged! Flogged! 225 00:25:23,665 --> 00:25:26,458 This is intolerable. I will have you flogged. 226 00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:29,790 This is slavery! 227 00:25:43,790 --> 00:25:45,375 - So what now? - Open! Now! 228 00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:25,915 Good night, Franzi. 229 00:27:33,915 --> 00:27:35,708 Catch me! 230 00:27:36,708 --> 00:27:40,625 You are so beautiful-ul-ul-ul! 231 00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:43,458 Please stay-ay-ay-ay! 232 00:27:54,458 --> 00:27:57,789 - Catch me! - Please stay-ay-ay-ay! 233 00:27:57,790 --> 00:28:00,290 - You are so beautiful-ul-ul-ul! - Catch me! 234 00:28:02,290 --> 00:28:06,625 I love-ove-ove-ove you-ou-ou-ou! 235 00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:13,708 I love-ove-ove-ove... 236 00:28:14,708 --> 00:28:17,583 I love you-ou-ou-ou... 237 00:28:19,583 --> 00:28:24,582 Esteemed gentlemen, now please undress swiftly to your dessous. 238 00:28:24,583 --> 00:28:27,624 Splash about like a newborn, life-affirming duckling. 239 00:28:27,625 --> 00:28:29,749 No, this is too much by far. I will surely not splash about. I am not mad... 240 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,749 Enjoy! Bye! Your Prof. Dr. Young 241 00:28:31,750 --> 00:28:35,664 I won’t walk into this muddy mess. I will not splash about! I will... 242 00:28:35,665 --> 00:28:37,125 Go splashing, you dosser! 243 00:28:39,125 --> 00:28:43,000 Hey! You bloody slavedriver! You stupid lackey! 244 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,250 Shit! 245 00:28:58,250 --> 00:28:59,708 Stop it! 246 00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:05,915 - Come on in, Franzi... - No Fritz! I will drown... 247 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:13,415 You swine! I will pay you back in spades! 248 00:29:20,415 --> 00:29:21,665 You stupid bore! 249 00:29:22,665 --> 00:29:23,665 You pig! 250 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,665 Come on, you dossers! Off we go! 251 00:30:08,665 --> 00:30:15,290 Esteemed guests, remove yourselves from the overwhelming floods of my godly thermal bath 252 00:30:16,290 --> 00:30:21,957 and go home swiftly, before darkness falls around you. 253 00:30:21,958 --> 00:30:26,790 Run as fast as you can! Have fun! Kisses, your Doc Young 254 00:31:10,790 --> 00:31:12,165 Where am I? What happened? 255 00:31:13,165 --> 00:31:16,790 - Thou art in heaven, dearest Franz. - Silence, you Schmock! 256 00:31:21,790 --> 00:31:25,333 I am terribly hungry, suddenly. And thirsty. 257 00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:29,957 - Didn’t you want to lose weight anyway? - I told you to be silent! 258 00:31:29,958 --> 00:31:31,398 Good morning! I hope you slept well. 259 00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:40,582 Et voilà! The motto of this beautiful, peaceful and sunny day is »Tranquilittas«. 260 00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:41,914 Thank you, Rüdiger. 261 00:31:41,915 --> 00:31:43,540 »Relaxation« in plain language. 262 00:31:45,540 --> 00:31:46,915 Thank God! 263 00:31:49,915 --> 00:31:55,665 »When God created men, he was already tired. Which explains a lot.« 264 00:32:04,665 --> 00:32:08,040 Now slip apace into the coziest of your cozy robes 265 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,208 and follow my chief lackey Rüdiger into my personal Garden of Eden. 266 00:32:26,208 --> 00:32:31,375 How? What? Where? Where are my slaves? 267 00:32:32,375 --> 00:32:35,125 With the taxis. He talked about relaxation. 268 00:32:36,125 --> 00:32:39,582 - Him. - Gentlemen, please follow me. 269 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:44,249 What? The same shit again? The fucking hell I will! 270 00:32:44,250 --> 00:32:46,290 I want to see my slaves come waltzing in right now! 271 00:32:47,083 --> 00:32:49,125 I want relaxation! Pronto in fact! 272 00:32:51,125 --> 00:32:53,583 Help! Where am I? How is that possible? 273 00:32:54,583 --> 00:32:55,583 Did anything happen? 274 00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:58,249 You want to take me for a ride, you stupid Schmock? 275 00:32:58,250 --> 00:33:03,375 We have just been teleported. How is that possible? Help! 276 00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:11,375 Stop! 277 00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:14,083 Stop! 278 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,499 Back home already? What is for dinner? 279 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:25,625 Please, dear Rüdiger, stop it! Spare me! How the hell is that possible? 280 00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:30,665 »You have to try the impossible to achieve the possible.« 281 00:33:31,665 --> 00:33:37,624 Dear Rüdiger, quoting Hermann Hesse. I didn’t expect you to be so literate. Chapeau! 282 00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:41,289 Dearest Franz, »people like you who achieve nothing 283 00:33:41,290 --> 00:33:45,707 on a small scale tend to imagine they’re born for greater things.« 284 00:33:45,708 --> 00:33:51,664 Dearest Fritz, »education is not achieved by reading but by thinking about that which you’ve read.« 285 00:33:51,665 --> 00:33:53,414 Him. 286 00:33:53,415 --> 00:33:58,664 Oops! My gosh! I have an incredible fear of heights! No! Help! 287 00:33:58,665 --> 00:34:04,789 Shut it, you couple of twits. Relax and enjoy the view! 288 00:34:04,790 --> 00:34:09,747 Please, dear Rüdiger, I’m so afraid of heights. Oh, no... 289 00:34:09,748 --> 00:34:14,458 Mon dieu! Phew! Much better already. 290 00:34:22,458 --> 00:34:25,416 Whoops! Has the little one gone beddybies again? 291 00:34:30,416 --> 00:34:35,373 I wa-wa-wa-want to kiss-iss-iss-iss-iss you. 292 00:34:37,373 --> 00:34:41,541 May I kiss-iss-iss-iss-iss you? 293 00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:46,708 Cut! 294 00:34:47,708 --> 00:34:54,707 Stripling, You’re doing my head in, mate. Is your smug sucking really necessary, you old nincompoop? 295 00:34:54,708 --> 00:34:57,540 - You’re screwing it all up once again. - Jeez, Schorsch, why this tone of voice? 296 00:34:57,541 --> 00:34:59,208 Shut up, you good-for-nothing. 297 00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:06,291 Love, you on the other hand, you’re full of grace and beauty. Pure eyecandy. 298 00:35:07,291 --> 00:35:09,250 Shut your fucking face, you cunt! 299 00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:14,166 - Aye, alright then. So we’re continuing, aren’t we? - Without her, or what? 300 00:35:15,166 --> 00:35:18,041 - Yes, I need a dandelion. - Alright! - Just a second! 301 00:35:20,041 --> 00:35:22,041 - Yeah, just a second! - Come on! - Yeah 302 00:35:23,041 --> 00:35:26,416 - Sound? Sound is rolling! - Just a second, Schorsch! - Now just wait a second! 303 00:35:28,416 --> 00:35:30,457 Fuck you! 304 00:35:30,458 --> 00:35:33,790 - Camera? - Camera is rolling! 305 00:35:33,791 --> 00:35:35,000 And action! 306 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,791 I want to kiss-iss-iss you. 307 00:35:40,791 --> 00:35:43,958 - Oh, well! . You are so amazingly beautiful! 308 00:35:44,958 --> 00:35:50,915 I’m sorry. What the ...? He’s buzzing off! Yeah, just go have a drink you tit! 309 00:35:50,916 --> 00:35:54,791 - Cut! - I love you... 310 00:35:55,791 --> 00:35:57,541 Where am I? What? 311 00:36:01,541 --> 00:36:07,750 - You won’t believe what I dreamt, dear Fritz. - Enlighten me, then. 312 00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:14,125 I dreamt Rüdiger can actually teleport. Ridiculous, isn’t it? 313 00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:17,416 Yes, hilarious. 314 00:36:18,416 --> 00:36:24,166 Gentlemen, I hope you've had a calm and relaxed day. 315 00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:27,957 Wake from your warm slumber now 316 00:36:27,958 --> 00:36:33,125 and mush, home, before the darkness falls over you. 317 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,916 Have fun. 318 00:36:37,916 --> 00:36:39,791 This can't be true! 319 00:36:40,791 --> 00:36:44,083 »Home is where the carpet is.« 320 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:59,583 - Help! Someone help! Stop it! - Did you proclaim anything, dear Franz? 321 00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:05,874 - Someone help! Stop it! - Screaming won't help, Franzi. 322 00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:08,750 Someone help! Stop it! 323 00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:14,083 I hope you've had a swell rest? 324 00:37:15,083 --> 00:37:21,957 Yes, yo! Let us swiftly climb step 3 of my award-winning zest-stimuli therapy. 325 00:37:21,958 --> 00:37:29,541 Motto of this gorgeous, soul-easing morn is »stimulatio«, in plain language: stimulation or stimulus. 326 00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:36,457 Could he mean sex? Finally. 327 00:37:36,458 --> 00:37:40,541 »Stupidity, dear Franz, is the most invincible force on earth.« 328 00:37:42,541 --> 00:37:47,499 Please adorn yourselves now with the Seelenfrieden leisure suits of glee 329 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:51,957 that I designed and tailored for you personally myself. 330 00:37:51,958 --> 00:37:56,457 And that shall be handed over to you by my chief lackey Rüdiger in a few blinks of an eye. 331 00:37:56,458 --> 00:38:01,208 Pray follow him to my personal Garden of Eden subsequently. The body has to breathe. 332 00:38:02,208 --> 00:38:07,375 Yes! Bye Bye! See ya later! Yours, Doc Young 333 00:38:19,375 --> 00:38:26,250 This is inconceivable! I won't... There's my taxi, finally. Now those plonkers are cottoning on to it. 334 00:38:27,250 --> 00:38:34,875 - But, where are the darn slaves, and where is Fritz's taxi? - Go! Giddy-up! Go for it! 335 00:38:35,875 --> 00:38:39,624 - Go! - Are you high, mate? That's my taxi. Get out of my taxi! 336 00:38:39,625 --> 00:38:43,416 Giddy-up, wankers! You wankers, you slaves. 337 00:38:50,416 --> 00:38:56,415 - Go! Giddy-up! - Dang! Cut! Over! The end! This sucks, I'm going home! 338 00:38:56,416 --> 00:39:03,624 - Cut! Stripling, you stay where you are! You're bonkers, eh? - Schorsch, please. 339 00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:10,332 This scene was excellent and you botcher ruin this great take with your dimwittedness. 340 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:16,707 - I should whip you. I should whip you in the face. - Goddammit, shut your bloody face you fat fuck. 341 00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:22,332 I don't want to shoot this pathetic crap. You can do that with yo momma but not with me. 342 00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:25,749 And what's with these embarrassing slave costumes? 343 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:30,041 - And I'm sweating my arse off. - I don't get that either. - But it's perfectly obvious. 344 00:39:31,041 --> 00:39:38,125 Well, listen to me slowly: All humans are slaves against their will. 345 00:39:39,125 --> 00:39:45,915 They are born slaves and they are slaves when they snuff it. They are their own slaves. 346 00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:50,290 They are the establishment's slaves. You're slaves as well. 347 00:39:50,291 --> 00:39:54,125 The film industry's slaves. Humans are slaves... 348 00:39:56,125 --> 00:40:01,166 Oh, Schorsch, oh, Schorsch, you rare little bird. 349 00:40:02,166 --> 00:40:05,041 You are the pride of your species, indeed. 350 00:40:06,041 --> 00:40:10,624 Schorsch Maria Bollerhuber, born in 1970, 351 00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:15,375 is a formerly celebrated stage director, screenwriter and film director. 352 00:40:16,375 --> 00:40:22,332 In 2016, at his stage career's actual peak, completely surprising 353 00:40:22,333 --> 00:40:27,749 and most incomprehensibly for the public at large, 354 00:40:27,750 --> 00:40:32,915 he turned his back on the theatre in spite of top-class offers 355 00:40:32,916 --> 00:40:37,791 and took to the film branch overnight. 356 00:40:38,791 --> 00:40:46,540 Much against anybody's expectations, he immediately landed two international blockbusters. 357 00:40:46,541 --> 00:40:51,790 His latest couple of films, on the other hand, were pure box-office poison, 358 00:40:51,791 --> 00:40:59,791 deemed pseudo-avantgarde smoke and mirrors by critics and derided by the viewers bar none. 359 00:41:04,083 --> 00:41:12,083 Ever since, nothing has been able to get him off his habits of drinking, young women and dodgy sports bets. 360 00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:23,791 As if this wasn't enough, he has five illegitimate children from five different women on five continents. 361 00:41:27,583 --> 00:41:35,500 To cap it all, as his last film was costly enough for him to run out of financial means for alimony, 362 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:41,915 he had to move from his renaissance villa in »Schorsch-Maria-Bollerhuber-Allee« 363 00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:46,375 into his 83-year-old mother's place to live in her garage. 364 00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:57,375 All this might approximately explain his slightly eccentric, grumpy and prim ways. 365 00:42:02,791 --> 00:42:07,499 - Here you are, Schorsch. - And that is precisely what I want to tell in my film. 366 00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:13,625 You are slaves. Brainslaves. Capice? Comprende? Claro que si? Okay? 367 00:42:14,625 --> 00:42:20,916 - Yes, okay. - Yes! Okay... - Okay! So, on your marks, then. 368 00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:29,416 - Sound? - Sound is rolling - Camera? - Camera is rolling! - And action! 369 00:42:30,416 --> 00:42:35,083 Giddy-up! Come on! Giddy-up! Come on! You Wimps! 370 00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:50,750 Franz, get off of him now! Stop it at once! Franz, get off of him now! 371 00:42:51,750 --> 00:42:58,291 - Are you nuts? I am just trying to get us free! - Shut up, I can’t bear this spectacle any longer. 372 00:43:00,291 --> 00:43:07,791 - What spectacle? - Damn, how can I explain that, Franz? 373 00:43:08,791 --> 00:43:12,582 - What do you want to explain, Fritz? - Franz, come with me. 374 00:43:12,583 --> 00:43:16,541 - I have to make a confession. Come! - Fritz, you are scaring me. - Yes, come, Franz. 375 00:43:22,541 --> 00:43:28,083 Fritz, what do you want to tell me? You are scaring me. 376 00:43:30,083 --> 00:43:32,416 I lied to you, Franz. 377 00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:39,833 You lied to me? How? What do you mean? 378 00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:47,333 I am not sick. I just made that up, so you have that therapy. 379 00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:59,333 Fritzi, you are my brother. The only person I can trust in this terrible world. 380 00:44:00,625 --> 00:44:03,375 And you are shamelessly deceiving me like that? 381 00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:08,125 Franzi, I am really sorry, but I was terribly worried about you. 382 00:44:09,125 --> 00:44:14,874 And not only me, but all our friends, too. You seemed so desperate and lonely of late. 383 00:44:14,875 --> 00:44:21,416 And we were absolutely certain you would never do that therapy of your own free will. So I made it all up. 384 00:44:22,416 --> 00:44:27,208 You are all completely mad! I will never forgive you! 385 00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:33,458 Franzi, I am really sorry. From the bottom of my heart. But you have to understand that it is only for your best. 386 00:44:34,458 --> 00:44:37,541 Everything will be fine, Franzi. Just trust me. 387 00:44:38,541 --> 00:44:45,500 Trust you. For my best. You are completely bonkers, you stupid sod! 388 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:53,249 This place is utter hell! Dear Fritz, I can’t bear it any longer. You have to get me out of here. 389 00:44:53,250 --> 00:44:58,374 I can’t go on. I can’t bear it anymore. I am going mad. I can’t go on... what? 390 00:44:58,375 --> 00:45:00,790 - Follow me, please. - No. No way. 391 00:45:00,791 --> 00:45:04,790 Please, please dear Fritz. Please don’t do that to me. I will do everything you want. 392 00:45:04,791 --> 00:45:09,582 I will even stop being the smart-arse all the time. I will always be nice from now on. 393 00:45:09,583 --> 00:45:12,665 But please, dear Fritz, deliver me from evil. 394 00:45:12,666 --> 00:45:16,750 For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen! 395 00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:22,540 I am sorry, Franzi. You have to go through with it. It is all for your best. 396 00:45:22,541 --> 00:45:26,291 - Rüdiger, perform your duties. - No, please don't! 397 00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:29,958 Hello? 398 00:45:32,958 --> 00:45:34,625 Fritz? 399 00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:36,958 Rüdiger? 400 00:45:39,958 --> 00:45:41,833 Hello, where are you? 401 00:45:42,833 --> 00:45:47,625 Come the bloody hell out, now! Fritz? Rüdiger? 402 00:46:10,625 --> 00:46:15,958 I am so afraid. I can’t go on. I don’t know what to do. I am so afraid. I... 403 00:46:22,958 --> 00:46:29,541 I don’t know what to do anymore... I am so alone. 404 00:46:31,541 --> 00:46:36,833 Who might you be? You sweet little doggy. 405 00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:46,833 I feel so very lonely. Will you be my friend? I will call you »Harry«. 406 00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:56,166 My dear Franz, You don’t have to be afraid. I am by your side. I am your friend. 407 00:46:58,166 --> 00:47:00,708 Why! You can talk! 408 00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:11,708 My dear Harry, you don’t know how good it feels to have you by my side, my dear friend. 409 00:47:13,666 --> 00:47:20,665 Yes, that is frequently the case, isn’t it, Franz? You know what I am thinking? Fear is no disgrace at all. 410 00:47:20,666 --> 00:47:28,250 We all are afraid. But you have to face your fears. You have to see them as strength and protection. 411 00:47:29,250 --> 00:47:34,499 Erich Kästner once said: »lf one has no fear, he has no imagination.« 412 00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:42,250 And how right he was. So don’t worry, Franz. Be free and live! 413 00:47:45,250 --> 00:47:53,250 You are a pretty wise dog. Thank you for your cheering words, dear Harry. 414 00:47:54,250 --> 00:48:02,250 You know, I am, I feel lonely so often and I think nobody wants to know who I am and what my true feelings are. 415 00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:16,083 No, everybody only wants to see the cheerful, good-looking, smart Franz, 416 00:48:17,083 --> 00:48:21,166 who can do anything, who is something special. 417 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:31,166 But, you know what, Harry? I don’t think I am special. I am a simple human being. 418 00:48:32,541 --> 00:48:37,208 And I want to be loved unconditionally as the person I am. 419 00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:46,458 - But who are you, Franz? - Yes, who am I? 420 00:48:48,458 --> 00:48:56,458 I am a little, a lonely, a very sad boy, 421 00:48:59,791 --> 00:49:07,083 who had to watch his parents jump over the cliff and who hasn’t yet overcome that pain. 422 00:49:09,083 --> 00:49:17,083 And therefore hides behind this terribly embarrassing mask of hedonism and narcissism. 423 00:49:19,583 --> 00:49:27,583 Dear Harry, you, I think I can tell, I am using the narcissism as narcosis. 424 00:49:28,708 --> 00:49:34,624 My dear Franz. Thank you for being so open to me. 425 00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:42,624 You know, you are a very, very courageous, decent and precious human being. 426 00:49:42,625 --> 00:49:44,185 But you have to learn to love yourself. 427 00:49:45,083 --> 00:49:49,041 Yes, there is no reason in the world not to love yourself unconditionally. 428 00:49:50,041 --> 00:49:55,415 You know, how should anybody else love you, if you don’t even love yourself? 429 00:49:55,416 --> 00:49:57,666 Yes, that is the key to happiness. 430 00:50:00,666 --> 00:50:08,666 Oh, my dear Harry. I feel a lot better already. What you just said helped me a lot. 431 00:50:14,250 --> 00:50:22,250 But, you know, after all these serious words, I would love to go for a walk with you. 432 00:50:26,833 --> 00:50:34,833 - Just a little stroll, for recreation. Would you like that? - Oh yes, my dear Franz, I would love to. 433 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:42,958 Yes, Harry. That is what we will do. Come! 434 00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:46,916 Look out, Franzi! Behind you! 435 00:50:56,916 --> 00:51:00,625 That is tickling-ling-ling-ling. 436 00:51:02,625 --> 00:51:05,207 That is tickling-ling-ling-ling. 437 00:51:05,208 --> 00:51:08,333 Stop it-it-it-it. That is tickling. 438 00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:15,499 Tell me, do you love me? 439 00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:22,250 Yes, I love-ove-ove you-ou-ou. But it is tickling-ling-ling. 440 00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:26,208 Tell me! Tell me! 441 00:51:27,208 --> 00:51:35,208 Yes, I love-ove-ove you-ou-ou. But stop tickling-ling-ling-ling... 442 00:51:48,625 --> 00:51:51,125 Stop it! Yes, I love you! 443 00:51:54,125 --> 00:51:57,875 Who are you? Stop it already! Stop tickling me! 444 00:52:04,875 --> 00:52:10,125 - Catch me! - You are so gorge-orge-orge-orgeous! 445 00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:18,125 - Stay-ay-ay-ay he-e-e-e-ere! - Catch me! 446 00:52:27,125 --> 00:52:30,166 You-ou-ou-ou... 447 00:52:47,166 --> 00:52:50,916 Stop it! Please, stop it! 448 00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:10,208 Stop it! 449 00:53:26,208 --> 00:53:29,791 Stop it! Help! 450 00:53:31,791 --> 00:53:35,833 - Good morning, dear Franzi! - What's happening? 451 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:40,500 You survived. Congratulations, you can be proud of that. 452 00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:46,541 Not everybody makes it, I've heard. You can be proud of yourself. 453 00:53:49,541 --> 00:53:53,165 Make him stop. I can't take it anymore! 454 00:53:53,166 --> 00:53:55,250 I hope you've had a more than excellent rest. 455 00:53:56,250 --> 00:53:58,850 - My dear Franzi, it's just for your best. - It's too much for me! 456 00:53:59,125 --> 00:54:03,624 Gentlemen, please rid yourselves now of your morning robes' tenderness and pray follow me 457 00:54:03,625 --> 00:54:07,749 onto the fourth step of my unique and award-winning zest-stimuli therapy. 458 00:54:07,750 --> 00:54:10,833 I cannot handle it anymore... 459 00:54:11,833 --> 00:54:13,208 Cut! 460 00:54:14,208 --> 00:54:21,707 Err, you have to put way more hate into the characters. Just like Schorsch wants it. 461 00:54:21,708 --> 00:54:25,790 - Yeah, alright! - Yeah, where is he by the way? - He's in bed. 462 00:54:25,791 --> 00:54:28,332 - What in in bed? - He's in bed? Great, he hits the sack with some whore 463 00:54:28,333 --> 00:54:33,457 while I'm sitting in the fucking surf, chained and somehow bloody. 464 00:54:33,458 --> 00:54:35,499 He just needs his sleep. 465 00:54:35,500 --> 00:54:38,665 Right, he needs his sleep and you'll need your face smashed in, you wanker. 466 00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:43,332 - Now fuck off, we're continuing. - Right, calm down. - Fuck, but I find that bloody irritating! 467 00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:46,957 - We'll just do this and then it's fine, alright? - Yes. 468 00:54:46,958 --> 00:54:50,957 - I'm sorry but... - Yes, I'm sorry, fuck you, and on we go. 469 00:54:50,958 --> 00:54:55,415 - Okay. Take your positions. - We're in position already, obviously. 470 00:54:55,416 --> 00:55:00,583 - Sound? - Sound is rolling. - Camera? - Camera is rolling. - And action! 471 00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:08,250 »lt's better to be loved for who you are, than for who you are not ...«, no, the other way round. 472 00:55:10,250 --> 00:55:18,250 »lt's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not.« 473 00:55:19,916 --> 00:55:24,291 »A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.« 474 00:55:44,291 --> 00:55:52,291 This wonderful, peaceful and sunny day's motto is »inter agere«, in plain language: »interaction«. 475 00:55:52,833 --> 00:55:55,707 Today's the day of great conquests! 476 00:55:55,708 --> 00:55:59,875 And bear in mind: »Love has many faces«. 477 00:56:03,875 --> 00:56:07,166 Interact. Stroke. 478 00:56:09,166 --> 00:56:11,707 Do you want me to fall in love with a sheep or what? 479 00:56:11,708 --> 00:56:15,625 »Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)« 480 00:56:16,625 --> 00:56:18,958 Go. Stroke, you Schmocks! 481 00:56:23,958 --> 00:56:31,958 - Interact. Watch. Be telepathic, and feed. - Now you want me to fall in love with birds, eh? 482 00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:38,041 Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. »lntelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.« Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. 483 00:56:39,041 --> 00:56:45,291 - Go! Watch, be telepathic, and feed, you Schmocks! - Oh, it's really cute. 484 00:56:48,291 --> 00:56:52,957 Gentlemen, I've got a little surprise for you now. 485 00:56:52,958 --> 00:56:55,000 Boy, I'm so excited. Here we go! 486 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,499 What fucking surprise? The Town Musicians of Bremen or what? 487 00:56:58,500 --> 00:56:59,916 I want to die! 488 00:57:00,916 --> 00:57:04,666 Franzi, »Something better than death you can find anywhere.« 489 00:57:11,666 --> 00:57:17,791 That's the woman of my dreams! 490 00:57:20,791 --> 00:57:26,458 Pleased to meet you, milady. My name is Friedrich Balthasar Freudenthal. Enchanté. 491 00:57:27,458 --> 00:57:33,958 - Marie-Estelle Antoinette Chevalier. Enchanté. - That's the woman of my dreams! 492 00:57:34,958 --> 00:57:40,750 May I present to you my spoilt half-brother: David-Alain Bonaparte Forestier. 493 00:57:42,750 --> 00:57:45,000 - That's the woman of my dreams! 494 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:51,540 Please excuse my brother's boorishness. He has a rare disease. 495 00:57:51,541 --> 00:57:56,250 What? Disease? You sod, you blooming sod, I'm not ill at all. That's the woman of my dreams! 496 00:57:59,250 --> 00:58:04,250 Franz, what's the matter with you? Did you forget to take your medication? 497 00:58:05,250 --> 00:58:10,500 My medication? You blooming sod! That's the woman of my dreams! 498 00:58:12,500 --> 00:58:16,125 My dear Franzi, please calm down 499 00:58:17,125 --> 00:58:21,375 Everything is going to be just fine. You will see. Everything will be fine. 500 00:58:22,375 --> 00:58:27,708 - I even brought you a little gift. - A present? - Yes. - Yes. 501 00:58:41,708 --> 00:58:47,333 That's Harry! Harry, where have you been? I missed you so much! 502 00:58:49,333 --> 00:58:53,665 I am very pleased you are enjoying your gift. But who is Harry? 503 00:58:53,666 --> 00:58:57,583 Him! This here is Harry! That's my dear Harry. 504 00:58:58,583 --> 00:59:01,832 I haven't got the faintest idea what you are talking about, but again: 505 00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:04,208 I am utterly pleased to see you're enjoying the gift. 506 00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:07,415 »He's gone to the dogs!« 507 00:59:07,416 --> 00:59:08,416 Cut! 508 00:59:09,416 --> 00:59:13,000 Genius! Love, you're fantastic! You're the bomb! 509 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,291 My dear Schorschi... 510 00:59:18,291 --> 00:59:19,291 fuck you! 511 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:25,874 - C'mon, go have some chicken, or a donut! - Right, okay. 512 00:59:25,875 --> 00:59:30,875 - Shut up, you cunts. - I didn't even say anything. - Shut your gobs and back to work! Hans! 513 00:59:31,875 --> 00:59:38,540 - Apropos, let me spell it out for you: - Here you are, Schorsch. - Put much more hatred into the characters! 514 00:59:38,541 --> 00:59:41,000 You have to mentally wreck those disgusting creatures 515 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:48,333 and squash them until they burst and their guts are all over the wall... 516 00:59:49,333 --> 00:59:52,582 Hang on, that's a beautiful image for the ending! 517 00:59:52,583 --> 00:59:58,763 Yeah, that's a marvelous final shot for my film. A veritable Schorsch Maria Bollerhuber finale, innit? 518 01:00:00,666 --> 01:00:03,624 - You're called Bollerhuber, are you high? - It's alright now! 519 01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:07,250 - Gee! - Okay, alright? - Okay, alright! - Okay, okay! 520 01:00:08,250 --> 01:00:13,665 - On your fucking positions. - Thank you, Schorsch. - And fucking sound, please! - Sound is rolling. 521 01:00:13,666 --> 01:00:19,083 - Fucking camera? - Camera is rolling. - And fucking shit, action! 522 01:00:20,083 --> 01:00:26,458 - That's Harry, my dear sweet Harry, Harry, Harry... - »He's gone to the dogs!« 523 01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:30,333 Cooey! I hope you're having fun, one and all? 524 01:00:31,333 --> 01:00:36,957 Please follow my chief lackey Rüdiger to my personal garden of Eden. 525 01:00:36,958 --> 01:00:44,958 He took the liberty to dress a delicious picnic for you in the chic dappled-shade. Foody, foody! Have fun! Kiss! 526 01:01:31,791 --> 01:01:36,000 Cooey again! I hope everything is to your utmost satisfaction? 527 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:42,125 Now please be so kind as to drink in one go five large shots within one minute 528 01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:47,540 and smoke as much as humanly possible. 529 01:01:47,541 --> 01:01:55,541 Subsequently please turn your attention favourably to the slips of paper I lovingly inscribed and folded for you. 530 01:01:56,916 --> 01:02:01,625 On your marks, ready, go! Here we go! Have fun! Toodle-oo! 531 01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:10,915 Oh, how enchanting, graceful and cute at the same time! 532 01:02:10,916 --> 01:02:17,791 Mon Dieu, if only all humans were this immeasurably rotten. 533 01:02:18,791 --> 01:02:21,708 I would have much less work to begin with. 534 01:02:23,708 --> 01:02:30,957 But now for Doctor Immanuel Young. Mon Dieu! What a Schmock! 535 01:02:30,958 --> 01:02:35,749 And don’t even get me started on his chief lackey Rüdiger. 536 01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:41,541 Prof. Dr. Immanuel Young, born in Baden-Baden in 1980 under the name 537 01:02:42,541 --> 01:02:44,958 Michael Jürgen Müller. 538 01:02:45,958 --> 01:02:48,833 Harvard, Tokyo... 539 01:02:49,833 --> 01:02:52,125 Made a career. Boring. 540 01:02:53,125 --> 01:02:58,665 In 2016 he became owner, chief therapist and mediator 541 01:02:58,666 --> 01:03:02,250 of the aforementioned luxury rehab and therapy resort 542 01:03:03,250 --> 01:03:05,915 »Seelenfrieden-Island«. 543 01:03:05,916 --> 01:03:11,915 He’s the winner of the Psycho Analysis Genius Award of 2017 544 01:03:11,916 --> 01:03:15,958 and has a reputation as being distinctly charismatic and charming. 545 01:03:16,958 --> 01:03:20,083 Rumour has it, however, that no human being 546 01:03:21,083 --> 01:03:25,083 has seen him face-to-face in two years. 547 01:03:27,083 --> 01:03:35,083 Allegedly he underwent facial surgery and only works incognito. 548 01:03:35,833 --> 01:03:40,583 Other mysterious sources contrarily report that one of the three 549 01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:46,291 world-leaders of multimedia companies acquired the resort underhand 550 01:03:47,291 --> 01:03:52,958 and for reasons of economic viability got rid of Doctor Young 551 01:03:53,958 --> 01:03:58,083 in a charming but nonetheless deadly manner. 552 01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:05,291 By using stock recordings, the corporation 553 01:04:06,291 --> 01:04:08,091 now tries to maintain therapeutic appearances 554 01:04:09,041 --> 01:04:11,208 in order to squeeze money out 555 01:04:12,208 --> 01:04:17,083 of unwitting loaded world citizens with blunt package therapies 556 01:04:18,083 --> 01:04:24,125 motivated by nothing but greed. 557 01:04:25,125 --> 01:04:28,875 Les jeux sont faits. Everything is possible. 558 01:04:29,875 --> 01:04:33,708 The decision is yours. Tandaradei! 559 01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:43,957 - Finished! - What? Already? You were cheating! - No, I wrote down my wishes. 560 01:04:43,958 --> 01:04:47,457 The three wishes I wish from that wish. 561 01:04:47,458 --> 01:04:50,458 So, listen! First wish... 562 01:04:52,458 --> 01:04:54,958 unlimited beauty. 563 01:04:56,958 --> 01:04:59,250 No change there. 564 01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:04,041 - Very good... - Second wish... 565 01:05:06,041 --> 01:05:10,625 Unlimited wealth! No change there either! 566 01:05:13,625 --> 01:05:17,125 - Very good... - And now, attention. Here is my third... hey, listen! 567 01:05:18,125 --> 01:05:21,416 - Hello, you should listen to my wish! - Yeah! 568 01:05:24,416 --> 01:05:30,250 Wish number three: No plane, you fuckface! Silly plane! 569 01:05:32,250 --> 01:05:36,750 My third wish is a very important wish. So, listen carefully: 570 01:05:37,750 --> 01:05:39,458 World peace. 571 01:05:41,458 --> 01:05:43,958 Impossible! 572 01:05:44,958 --> 01:05:48,916 Oh, là, là, Miss Estelle-Marie. 573 01:05:50,916 --> 01:05:54,583 Okay, it's my turn. My turn... 574 01:05:55,583 --> 01:05:57,791 Okay, my first wish is: 575 01:05:58,791 --> 01:06:01,708 I would like to fuck. 576 01:06:03,708 --> 01:06:09,541 No change at all! Number two... 577 01:06:10,541 --> 01:06:14,083 - I want to booze and smoke! - Yessir! 578 01:06:19,083 --> 01:06:24,665 Wish number three: My dears, it's a serious one, and so I ask you for silence. 579 01:06:24,666 --> 01:06:29,500 - Right. - Wish number three: I want to stop the hunger in the world. 580 01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:38,458 - Well,... - Impossible! - ... now it's me: 581 01:06:39,458 --> 01:06:44,957 I am perfectly happy. I already have everything. 582 01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:52,958 No, stop! Just kidding... Wish number one: Read a lot. So, no change. 583 01:06:53,625 --> 01:06:59,958 - What a drag. - Wish number two: Smoke a lot. No change. 584 01:07:00,958 --> 01:07:06,583 Wish number three: Franz will become smart in the end, after all! 585 01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:15,583 - Unbelievable! - What? You swine! You bloody swine! 586 01:07:15,875 --> 01:07:18,499 - You are a swine... - It is only for your best. 587 01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:22,457 - Dear Franz... - You are a swine. - Yes, poppet. - A swine. 588 01:07:22,458 --> 01:07:25,415 Poppet. - Yeah... - Yes... 589 01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:29,083 Well, and now to you Dävid-Alain! 590 01:07:30,083 --> 01:07:33,290 - Now to you... - Dävid. - Dävid-Alone. 591 01:07:33,291 --> 01:07:38,250 - Yes, I have to do that. The Schmock is not talking. - What? Why? - He has silence. 592 01:07:40,250 --> 01:07:44,166 - He has silence? - Yeah! Give me that. - What did he write down? 593 01:07:47,166 --> 01:07:55,166 Well, David-Alain: Wish number one, eternal silence on earth! Yes, no change at all! 594 01:07:57,625 --> 01:08:01,541 Wish number two: Eternal isolation! 595 01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:07,083 - No change at all! - Come on, there is a lady at the table. - Wish number three... 596 01:08:08,083 --> 01:08:11,790 wish number three: Death to my half-sister. 597 01:08:11,791 --> 01:08:17,622 You little fucker! You little bastard should have never been born! 598 01:08:17,623 --> 01:08:19,041 Bravissimo, my dearest! 599 01:08:20,041 --> 01:08:23,123 How charming, delightful and cute at the same time. 600 01:08:24,123 --> 01:08:27,457 You did that just wonderfully. 601 01:08:28,457 --> 01:08:30,831 And on we go, my dears. 602 01:08:30,832 --> 01:08:36,248 Pair up with a partner and dance like hell with your little feet. 603 01:08:37,248 --> 01:08:40,166 Here comes the music! Here we go! Kisses! Mooaw! 604 01:08:56,166 --> 01:08:57,166 Please chillax! 605 01:08:59,166 --> 01:09:00,916 Chillaxez-vous 606 01:09:05,916 --> 01:09:07,125 The body has to breathe! 607 01:10:09,125 --> 01:10:13,875 So! Hands up, you swine! Stop this charade. 608 01:10:15,875 --> 01:10:18,041 Marie-Estelle, she is the woman of my dreams. 609 01:10:20,041 --> 01:10:23,250 I love you, Marie-Estelle. 610 01:10:26,250 --> 01:10:30,457 Marie-Estelle, she is the woman of my dreams! 611 01:10:31,457 --> 01:10:36,125 Congratulations! Toutes mes Felicitations! Herzlichen Glückwunsch, you have made it! 612 01:10:37,125 --> 01:10:38,125 What the fuck? 613 01:10:39,041 --> 01:10:43,207 All your elemental emotions are active again and fully functioning. 614 01:10:44,207 --> 01:10:48,790 Did you feel it? You are able to feel again! You love again! You hate again! 615 01:10:48,791 --> 01:10:49,791 You are healed! 616 01:10:50,041 --> 01:10:55,207 You are a healthy person again! Celebrate! Pop the corks! 617 01:10:57,207 --> 01:11:03,250 I will be with you in a mo and present you with the holy medal of Seelenfrieden. 618 01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:10,666 Thank you so much, dear Professor Doctor Young! I am healed! 619 01:11:12,666 --> 01:11:17,916 Good evening, dear Franz. My name is Professor Doctor Immanuel Young. Congratulations. 620 01:11:28,916 --> 01:11:35,582 Brilliant! Brilliant! My little cunts! Brilliant! 621 01:11:37,582 --> 01:11:41,000 Yay! A wonderful film! Thank you! Brilliant! 622 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,125 Yes, we did that quite well, didn’t we? 623 01:11:48,125 --> 01:11:50,749 Wake up! Wake up, you Schmock! 624 01:11:50,750 --> 01:11:52,500 Somebody turn this thing off! 625 01:11:53,500 --> 01:11:54,500 Turn it off, please! 626 01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:57,165 Wake up! Wake up, you Schmock! 627 01:11:57,166 --> 01:11:58,166 Turn it off. 628 01:12:00,166 --> 01:12:01,832 Turn it off! 629 01:12:02,832 --> 01:12:05,375 Turn it off! Stop it! 630 01:12:06,375 --> 01:12:07,956 Turn it off! 631 01:12:07,957 --> 01:12:09,000 Turn it off! 632 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,250 Turn it off! 633 01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:15,125 Turn it off! Stop it! 634 01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,415 Stop it! Turn it off! 635 01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:19,540 Stop it! Stop it! 636 01:12:19,541 --> 01:12:23,290 Stop it! Turn it off! Stop it! 637 01:12:23,291 --> 01:12:27,874 Stop it! Turn it off! Stop it! 638 01:12:27,875 --> 01:12:31,082 Wake up! Wake up, you Schmock! Wake up! 639 01:12:32,082 --> 01:12:34,282 - Wake up, you Schmock! Wake up! - Turn it off! Stop it! 640 01:12:38,041 --> 01:12:43,082 Franzi, my dear! Finally you are awake. Dinner is being served already. We should get back to the hotel. 641 01:12:44,082 --> 01:12:48,790 Yes, wait one more minute, Fritz. You won’t believe what I just dreamt. 642 01:12:48,791 --> 01:12:56,582 Oh, let me guess: You had one of your conspiracy theory visions of the future again, Count von Nostradamus? 643 01:12:57,582 --> 01:13:02,750 Is it my fault, that I am Nostradamus incarnate? 644 01:13:05,750 --> 01:13:12,875 Believe me, sometimes I wish to be an ordinary person. As ordinary as you. And as boring. 645 01:13:14,875 --> 01:13:19,625 How do they say: »Pride rides out on a horse and comes back on foot«. 646 01:13:21,625 --> 01:13:29,625 Touché. And how do they also say: »Humor starts, where you stop taking yourself too seriously«. 647 01:13:36,291 --> 01:13:41,082 My esteemed Misters Freudenthal. I wish you a happy new year 1920. 648 01:13:42,082 --> 01:13:45,042 - How nice of you, dear Rüdiger. Thank you, Rüdiger. - Thank you, Rüdiger. 649 01:13:46,041 --> 01:13:48,331 May I offer you a new year’s tipple? 650 01:13:48,332 --> 01:13:51,915 - Of course, thank you! - Spiffing! Thank you very much! 651 01:13:51,916 --> 01:13:55,041 Wait one more moment, Rüdiger. You won’t believe what I have dreamt. 652 01:13:56,041 --> 01:14:04,041 I have dreamt of a film shoot in the year 1900... nonsense. I have dreamt of a film shoot in the year 2020 653 01:14:05,082 --> 01:14:11,540 and the plot was as follows: I was a patient in an absurd institution, 654 01:14:11,541 --> 01:14:18,166 and you, dear Rüdiger, were the chief lackey but also the therapist. 655 01:14:20,166 --> 01:14:26,415 Let me tell you, when the world will really be like that in a hundred years, 656 01:14:26,416 --> 01:14:28,291 then I am glad I don’t live in the future. 657 01:14:30,291 --> 01:14:36,957 - They even re-introduced slavery. That is unheard of! - That’s a scream, isn’t it? 658 01:14:37,957 --> 01:14:41,082 Gentlemen, dinner is being served. If you please. 659 01:14:44,082 --> 01:14:46,291 - Here is to you, dear Rüdiger. - Cheers. 660 01:14:51,291 --> 01:14:56,874 »Culture is a thin varnish, easily dissolved in alcohol«. 661 01:14:56,875 --> 01:14:58,500 How true, how true. 662 01:14:59,500 --> 01:15:02,207 - Come with me, dear brother. - But certainly. With pleasure. 663 01:15:14,207 --> 01:15:16,332 Oh, my sweet Harry! 664 01:15:17,332 --> 01:15:21,706 Funny we should meet here. I just dreamt of you two. 665 01:15:21,707 --> 01:15:23,332 My dear Franzi, 666 01:15:25,332 --> 01:15:26,332 dream on. 667 01:15:28,041 --> 01:15:29,041 Cut!