1
00:00:02,038 --> 00:00:03,405
Andrew, can I ask
2
00:00:03,473 --> 00:00:06,008
How close are we
to finding my soul mate?
3
00:00:06,075 --> 00:00:09,244
A long, long way.
4
00:00:09,312 --> 00:00:10,512
Right.
5
00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:12,681
But when you do
find the perfect match,
6
00:00:12,749 --> 00:00:14,683
When people finish the test
and they meet,
7
00:00:14,751 --> 00:00:16,318
Is it just like in the movies?
8
00:00:16,386 --> 00:00:18,820
Is it magical?
Are they over the moon?
9
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,556
Not over the moon so much
as a safe public place
10
00:00:21,624 --> 00:00:24,026
Agreed upon by both parties.
11
00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:28,864
If said parties continue
to explore their "soulmance,"
12
00:00:28,931 --> 00:00:30,365
Soul mate specialists
13
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,034
Is not liable for
any communicable diseases,
14
00:00:32,101 --> 00:00:33,268
Mental breakdowns,
15
00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:36,772
Or sudden weight gain
of said soul mate.
16
00:00:36,839 --> 00:00:39,174
It sounded so much
more romantic in the brochure.
17
00:00:39,242 --> 00:00:41,043
That's how they get you.
18
00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:42,177
Right.
19
00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:43,845
But I'm on to you.
20
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:44,913
You're a romantic.
21
00:00:44,981 --> 00:00:46,615
Oh, I am.
22
00:00:46,683 --> 00:00:50,385
I'm the most hopeless romantic
you will ever meet.
23
00:00:50,453 --> 00:00:53,955
I guess you could say I'm--
I'm guided by my heart.
24
00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:57,893
And it always ends up
biting me in the ass.
25
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,395
We're not liable
for that either.
26
00:01:00,463 --> 00:01:02,097
Right.
27
00:01:02,165 --> 00:01:04,433
So then after dinner we will
open up the dance floor
28
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,234
And the band will play
your parents' wedding song.
29
00:01:06,302 --> 00:01:07,903
Oh, that would be great.
30
00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:09,705
Uh, their song is
it had to be you.
31
00:01:09,772 --> 00:01:12,040
Because it had to be them.
32
00:01:12,108 --> 00:01:13,842
Hmm.
33
00:01:18,548 --> 00:01:20,382
Anyway,
looks like we're done.
34
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:21,683
- Okay.
- Oh, wait.
35
00:01:21,751 --> 00:01:23,552
Um, we haven't discussed
how your parents met.
36
00:01:23,619 --> 00:01:24,953
When we plan
an anniversary party,
37
00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:26,621
We like to have the full story.
38
00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:28,490
Don't we, Leslie?
39
00:01:28,558 --> 00:01:30,325
I guess.
40
00:01:30,393 --> 00:01:33,028
Leslie, why don't you
take the calculator
41
00:01:33,096 --> 00:01:34,763
And go and add things up
in the kitchen?
42
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,901
Fine.
43
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,304
- So your parents.
- Right.
44
00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:45,340
So they're both in D.C.
Protesting the Vietnam war,
45
00:01:45,408 --> 00:01:47,743
And they literally bump
into each other
46
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:48,744
Outside a donut shop.
47
00:01:48,811 --> 00:01:51,847
Donuts, fascinating.
48
00:01:51,914 --> 00:01:55,117
My mom spills her coffee.
My dad helps her clean it up.
49
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:57,953
That night they drive
to the Jersey shore,
50
00:01:58,020 --> 00:02:01,123
Run out of gas near the beach,
and sleep in the car.
51
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:03,492
And they've been together
ever since.
52
00:02:03,559 --> 00:02:07,429
That is
such a romantic story.
53
00:02:07,497 --> 00:02:09,197
Oh, God, I'd love
something like that.
54
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:11,533
I know.
Me too.
55
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:13,001
You know, I always have
this weird thing
56
00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:14,469
Where I think that maybe
57
00:02:14,537 --> 00:02:16,104
My ex-wife and I
would still be together
58
00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:18,106
If we had
had some big romantic moment
59
00:02:18,174 --> 00:02:21,009
Like my folks did, you know?
60
00:02:21,077 --> 00:02:23,412
Anyway, I should go.
61
00:02:23,479 --> 00:02:26,081
Oh.
62
00:02:26,149 --> 00:02:29,084
And if there's anything
at all I can do,
63
00:02:29,152 --> 00:02:31,987
Please don't hesitate
to give me a call.
64
00:02:32,054 --> 00:02:33,889
Okay, bye.
65
00:02:37,894 --> 00:02:40,362
My, God.
66
00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:43,999
Is it me, or is he the most
romantic, wonderful man
67
00:02:44,066 --> 00:02:45,534
You've ever met?
68
00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:48,336
It's you.
69
00:02:48,404 --> 00:02:51,106
I'm kind of mad about him.
70
00:02:51,174 --> 00:02:54,109
Yeah, I watched you
do this...
71
00:02:54,177 --> 00:02:56,244
A hundred times.
72
00:02:56,312 --> 00:02:58,246
And the first time he was here,
73
00:02:58,314 --> 00:03:01,416
You kept licking your lips
like a dog in a hot car.
74
00:03:01,484 --> 00:03:03,385
He didn't seem to pick up
on any of it.
75
00:03:03,453 --> 00:03:05,387
'cause you have
terrible signals.
76
00:03:05,455 --> 00:03:07,789
I have brilliant signals.
77
00:03:07,857 --> 00:03:10,992
You wanna see a signal?
This is a signal.
78
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:16,097
Okay, that's actually
very good.
79
00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:17,399
He's been here twice.
80
00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:18,700
Why don't you just ask him out?
81
00:03:18,768 --> 00:03:20,802
No.
Didn't you hear him?
82
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:23,271
He's a romantic just like me.
83
00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:25,140
We can't just go out.
84
00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:26,875
It's gotta be much more
difficult
85
00:03:26,943 --> 00:03:28,143
And exciting than that.
86
00:03:28,211 --> 00:03:30,278
Like something out of
a Sandra bullock movie.
87
00:03:30,346 --> 00:03:31,446
You're nothing like
Sandra bullock.
88
00:03:31,514 --> 00:03:32,581
- J lo?
- No.
89
00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:34,883
- Kate Hudson?
- I'm Kate Hudson.
90
00:03:34,951 --> 00:03:37,118
So I'm just
a Hugh Grant with boobs.
91
00:03:37,186 --> 00:03:40,222
- That I buy.
- Thanks.
92
00:03:40,289 --> 00:03:44,392
♪ can I ask you
a question? ♪
93
00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:46,328
♪ can I ask you a question ♪
94
00:03:46,395 --> 00:03:48,563
♪ and 99 more? ♪
95
00:03:48,631 --> 00:03:50,765
♪ all your fears and mysteries
96
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:53,201
♪ the love
you're searching for ♪
97
00:03:53,269 --> 00:03:57,339
♪ hey, la la la la ♪
98
00:03:57,406 --> 00:03:58,308
♪ can I ask you a question? ♪
99
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:07,009
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
100
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,814
Okay, does anyone have
any romantic movie moments
101
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:10,916
For me and Tim?
102
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,251
I've got one.
103
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,253
Tim's a vampire, and he
wants to suck your blood
104
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,755
Because you're a virgin.
105
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,926
I don't think that's gonna
work for a lot of reasons.
106
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,328
I got one.
Super romantic.
107
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,796
All right, it's world war ii.
108
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,266
Thanks.
109
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,167
Oh, Wayne, I almost forgot.
110
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,636
Can you wake up early tomorrow?
111
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,638
- How early?
- 9:00.
112
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,139
Which 9:00?
113
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,141
Sunshine 9:00.
114
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:37,709
I had a dad drop out
for career day,
115
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,177
And I need you to fill in.
116
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,712
The kids wanna meet
a real fireman.
117
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,282
So I need you to pretend
to be a real fireman.
118
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,850
I can be a fireman.
119
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:49,121
Um, firemen need to be able
to lift, like, 100 pounds.
120
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:51,356
All at once?
121
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:54,793
Oh, Charlotte, that's
something romantic you could do.
122
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,597
Set your apartment on fire.
That's how I met Shawn.
123
00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,932
I need a glass of water.
124
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,534
These Thai taco poppers
aren't sitting very well.
125
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,938
Okay, how about this?
126
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:06,972
It's raining.
127
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,840
We have a minor fender bender.
128
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,677
We both get out of the car,
our eyes meet, and we--
129
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,178
- Share insurance information.
130
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,513
Assess the damages.
131
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,015
Move the cars to a safe place
on the side of the road.
132
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,617
Fine. Ugh.
133
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,519
- So anyway, Wayne,
sunshine 9:00--
134
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,355
You, lie, fireman, kids.
Got it?
135
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,356
Done.
136
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,491
Let me get the address
for you.
137
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:29,161
Oh, look, hunter tried
to scare the girls
138
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,862
With this rubber spider today.
139
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,064
Did it work?
140
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,298
This thing wouldn't work
on anybody.
141
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,434
Wanna bet?
142
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,737
Ahh!
143
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,640
I have to tell hunter
that it worked.
144
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,308
You've been scared
of your own shadow
145
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,243
Since you were a kid.
146
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:47,212
Well, I have
a very scary shadow.
147
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,748
My hair often makes horns.
148
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,950
- That rubber spider didn't
scare a five-year-old girl.
149
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,820
Yes, it did.
150
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,655
Mike's been trying to scare
her since the third grade,
151
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,789
But he never has.
152
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,057
And he never will.
153
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,392
We Koreans are a brave people.
154
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,327
Yeah, well, so are we Irish,
155
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,997
With some polish.
156
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:06,999
Face it, Mike, you're never
gonna scare her.
157
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,800
Oh, yeah?
I'm older now.
158
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,069
I'm smarter now.
What are you gonna do?
159
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,171
I'm gonna sneak
into her apartment
160
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:16,041
And I'm gonna pop out
when she least expects it.
161
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,377
I will not rest until
that double-jointed Korean
162
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,779
Pees her pants.
163
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,980
Okay, I've got it.
164
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,315
Tim said he jogs at lunch
165
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,650
At the park around the corner.
166
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,151
I'll go,
I'll bring a book--
167
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,319
Pride and prejudice,
168
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,754
The most romantic book
of all time.
169
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,856
I'll pretend I'm reading,
and I'll bump into him.
170
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,291
I'll drop the book.
He'll help me pick it up.
171
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:34,726
He'll realize it's me.
172
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,295
He'll brush a strand of hair
out of my eyes.
173
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,630
Eh, I don't know, Charlotte.
174
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,599
I don't think
that's gonna scare him.
175
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,769
Wait, what were
we talking about?
176
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,685
Oh!
177
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:03,655
What are you doing?
178
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,223
Why is your grandmother here?
179
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,493
She always showers here
after pilates.
180
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,562
Hello, Michael.
181
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,698
Hi, grandma.
182
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,099
Oh.
183
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,936
It's so nice to see you.
184
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,905
So how it works
185
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:22,708
Is a bad guy
sets something on fire.
186
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,777
The Mayor calls us.
187
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,180
We hop in our truck
188
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:30,716
And zoom over there
as fast as we want.
189
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,986
We also save things
from trees--
190
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:38,824
Cats, Frisbees, whatever.
191
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,992
My uncle's a fireman.
192
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,628
Congratulations.
193
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,197
What ladder number are you?
194
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,298
12.
195
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,266
How many firemen
fit in your truck?
196
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,334
Ten.
197
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,702
How many fire hoses?
198
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,338
Ten, obviously.
199
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,173
Okay, class,
200
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,275
Let's say good-bye
to Mr. Fireman.
201
00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:58,677
No, it's okay, I got this.
202
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,213
What's your last name?
203
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,681
Smith.
204
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,150
It says "Jones" on the back
of your jacket.
205
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,586
Well, I'm borrowing
Jones' jacket,
206
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,721
If it's any of your business.
207
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,623
You're not a fireman.
208
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,458
Are you gonna let him
talk to me like that?
209
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:14,793
You're a "liarman"!
210
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,864
Okay, okay, you got me.
211
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,832
I'm not a fireman.
212
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,167
All right, big deal.
213
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,203
What does your dad do
that's so great?
214
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,938
He sells copy machines.
215
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,373
Oh, I'd kill myself.
216
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:29,641
Wayne!
217
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,510
So what is your job?
218
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:32,677
No, I don't have a job.
219
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,323
Oh.
220
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,227
Are you okay?
221
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,396
He didn't even notice me.
222
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:52,631
Pride and prejudice,
223
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,965
One of my favorites.
224
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,268
Yeah, whatever,
it's a classic.
225
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,471
Wayne has finished his snack,
226
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,041
So I think it's time
for him to go.
227
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,110
But miss Jill,
if he doesn't have a job,
228
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,711
Where does he live?
229
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,514
Well, he lives
on his friend's couch,
230
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,517
But it's only
a temporary situation.
231
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:15,787
Mike said I could stay
as long as I want.
232
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,389
You get to sleep on a couch?
233
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,391
Yeah, right in front
of the TV.
234
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,526
- Cool.
- Mm-hmm.
235
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,195
So what do you do all day?
236
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,964
Well, when he's not
looking for a job,
237
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:29,534
He reads and practices
writing his numbers.
238
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:33,638
Don't you think we've lied
enough to these kids?
239
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,307
I watch TV,
240
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,775
I play video games,
241
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,110
And then I go to happy hour.
242
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,879
Happy hour sounds fun.
243
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,915
Oh, it's very fun.
244
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,985
All right, well,
this big guy needs a nap,
245
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,320
So I'm gonna hit the road.
246
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:49,788
That would be great.
247
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:50,922
So what did we learn today?
248
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,924
You don't need a job.
249
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:56,361
Only you can prevent
forest fires.
250
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,797
Spay and neuter your pets.
251
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,765
Jill, am I forgetting anything?
252
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,601
- No, just go.
- All right, cool.
253
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,837
I'm gonna rock a couple
of these juice boxes for later.
254
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,412
How do I look?
255
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,014
Do you have a shorter towel?
256
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:17,315
No.
257
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,951
- Then you look fine.
- Right.
258
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,520
So Tim's coming over
to get some paperwork.
259
00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:25,123
It appears as if he's caught me
just out of the shower.
260
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,925
"oh, how unexpected,
261
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,159
"how intimate,
262
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,195
How Julia Roberts."
263
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,696
It's perfect.
264
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,465
At what point do you drop
the towel?
265
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,367
No, I don't drop the towel.
266
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,869
I just want him to see me
in a more intimate light.
267
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,138
Then you should drop
the towel.
268
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,107
He's here. He's early.
269
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:43,842
You have to leave.
That's fine.
270
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,644
I'll just hang
from the fire escape
271
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,545
And drop onto the dumpster.
272
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:48,980
You would do that for me?
273
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:50,615
Wouldn't you do that for me?
274
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,217
Yeah, of course.
275
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,485
- Okay, bye.
- Mwah.
276
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,820
Wait, you just got out
of the shower.
277
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,522
Oh, yeah, mmm, good.
278
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:58,623
Mmm, yummy.
Is that lemonade?
279
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,859
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
280
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:07,432
I got a package
for Charlotte Payne.
281
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,768
Oh, I see what this is.
282
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,872
I'm sorry.
What's going on?
283
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,207
Oh, lady, I've been
in this job for six years.
284
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:17,509
I know what this means.
285
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:20,578
They moved the dumpster.
286
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:21,746
Are you Tim?
287
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,349
I can be whoever
you want me to be.
288
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:27,986
- Tim.
- Hi.
289
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,254
Oh, come on in, fella.
290
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,423
I've been with dudes before.
It's cool.
291
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,026
I'll come back another time.
292
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,594
No, no, no.
I can explain.
293
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,396
I've been shot.
294
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:39,397
Whoa!
295
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,366
I got shot.
296
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,536
Is Leslie even here right now?
297
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,572
She's supposed to be here.
298
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,442
I think I am gonna go.
299
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:52,877
Mike!
300
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:55,313
So are we gonna get
this party started or what?
301
00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:02,191
What do you think Mike's
gonna do to try to scare you?
302
00:12:02,259 --> 00:12:03,359
I don't know.
He just texted me
303
00:12:03,427 --> 00:12:04,694
And told me to wait here
for him.
304
00:12:04,761 --> 00:12:05,962
Hmm.
305
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,263
What do you think he's gonna
show up with,
306
00:12:07,331 --> 00:12:09,031
A bear or a clown?
307
00:12:09,099 --> 00:12:11,934
Or a bear clown?
308
00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:14,337
That would be scary.
What?
309
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,872
I saw one once.
It was horrifying.
310
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,910
Ever since you told me
about your parents
311
00:12:20,978 --> 00:12:23,312
And how they met,
I have been trying to have
312
00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:26,482
A romantic moment with you,
because I like you.
313
00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:29,185
And I feel like such an idiot.
314
00:12:29,253 --> 00:12:31,020
No, no, no, I'm the idiot.
315
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:33,022
I can't believe I didn't
pick up on any of it.
316
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,357
Well, in fairness to you,
317
00:12:34,424 --> 00:12:35,891
Some of them weren't
so much romantic moments
318
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:37,960
As crazy moments.
319
00:12:38,028 --> 00:12:39,829
Still, here's this
beautiful woman
320
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:42,798
Trying to get my attention,
and I don't see any of it?
321
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:44,467
Do you see it now?
322
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:45,701
I do.
323
00:12:45,769 --> 00:12:47,637
I'm sorry.
324
00:12:47,704 --> 00:12:49,138
I've just been so preoccupied
with my own stuff,
325
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:50,573
Between my ex-wife and
my parents' anniversary I just--
326
00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:54,043
- I think I could be
persuaded to forgive you.
327
00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:55,945
- I've got an idea.
- What?
328
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:58,614
- We'd need a car.
- I can get one.
329
00:12:58,682 --> 00:13:00,916
Let's get in it and drive,
330
00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:02,618
Just the two of us.
331
00:13:02,686 --> 00:13:04,587
Just go down to the shore
and run out of gas
332
00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:06,622
Just like your parents.
333
00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:09,225
Give me one second.
334
00:13:09,293 --> 00:13:11,627
Leslie, I need to borrow
your car.
335
00:13:11,695 --> 00:13:12,928
- Why?
- We're doing it.
336
00:13:12,996 --> 00:13:14,263
We're just gonna drive,
337
00:13:14,331 --> 00:13:15,831
Just like Tim's parents.
338
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:17,667
Yay!
Shush.
339
00:13:17,734 --> 00:13:20,169
yay.
340
00:13:20,237 --> 00:13:23,439
Fine, but no eating,
no drinking, no sexing.
341
00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:26,142
Did you just say "sexing"?
342
00:13:26,209 --> 00:13:27,476
Just respect my car.
343
00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:29,545
Okay. Bye.
344
00:13:32,316 --> 00:13:34,183
Ladies.
345
00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:36,085
Hey, thanks a lot.
346
00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:37,720
After a morning with you,
my kids have all decided
347
00:13:37,788 --> 00:13:39,955
To pursue nothing.
348
00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:42,425
Glad I could help.
349
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:44,327
Guys, five minutes
till happy hour's over.
350
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,996
I'm gonna go get
as much as I can carry.
351
00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:48,964
Wayne, this is serious.
352
00:13:49,032 --> 00:13:50,466
Hunter used to want
to be a doctor.
353
00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:52,668
Now he wants to live
on Patrick's couch.
354
00:13:52,736 --> 00:13:55,471
- Is Patrick a stand-up guy?
355
00:13:55,539 --> 00:13:56,939
Look, you have to come back
to the classroom
356
00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:59,108
And show them that you
can do something, anything.
357
00:13:59,176 --> 00:14:01,277
Anything that could be
a career.
358
00:14:01,345 --> 00:14:02,945
What did you want to do
when you were growing up?
359
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:04,880
Be a ninja.
360
00:14:04,948 --> 00:14:06,048
Okay, what else?
361
00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:09,485
Uh, drive a dune buggy
on the moon.
362
00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:12,455
Come on, Wayne, think.
This is important.
363
00:14:12,522 --> 00:14:14,657
There's got to be something
that you love to do,
364
00:14:14,725 --> 00:14:17,860
Back when you did stuff.
365
00:14:17,928 --> 00:14:19,729
I like to draw.
366
00:14:19,796 --> 00:14:21,497
Eh, mostly nudes.
367
00:14:21,565 --> 00:14:23,065
That's it.
That's perfect.
368
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,300
Come back to class,
369
00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,102
Draw a picture for the kids--
with clothes--
370
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,504
And we'll tell them that you're
pursuing art as a career.
371
00:14:28,572 --> 00:14:30,206
Will there be
any juice boxes?
372
00:14:30,273 --> 00:14:31,407
Yes.
373
00:14:31,475 --> 00:14:33,342
All right,
I'll draw them something.
374
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:34,744
Great, let's go right now.
375
00:14:34,811 --> 00:14:36,379
I want it to be there when
the kids show up in the morning.
376
00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:38,748
All right, fine.
377
00:14:38,815 --> 00:14:40,850
Here we go.
378
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,785
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
We're leaving.
379
00:14:42,853 --> 00:14:44,587
Wayne's gonna draw a picture
for my students.
380
00:14:44,654 --> 00:14:45,821
We'll be back though.
381
00:14:45,889 --> 00:14:48,724
What am I gonna do with
13 sour patch Martinis?
382
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:52,628
Uh, just keep drinking
till you see the bear clown.
383
00:14:54,297 --> 00:14:58,033
These things set me back
four dollars.
384
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:05,674
Well, that is it.
385
00:15:05,742 --> 00:15:07,610
We are out of gas.
386
00:15:15,752 --> 00:15:19,121
Whoops.
387
00:15:19,189 --> 00:15:21,357
Tim?
388
00:15:21,425 --> 00:15:23,392
- Sorry.
It's--sorry.
389
00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:33,035
- Tim, someone's coming.
- Keep kissing me.
390
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,103
Is that you, Timothy?
391
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:36,705
- Who's that?
- Nobody.
392
00:15:36,773 --> 00:15:38,474
Tim, what's going on?
393
00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:40,709
Do you see this, Vicki?
394
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:42,578
I'm making out
with a beautiful woman.
395
00:15:42,646 --> 00:15:44,647
What do you think of that?
Wait, you know this woman?
396
00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:45,648
- I'm his ex-wife.
397
00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:47,349
Oh, hi.
398
00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:48,818
You're not supposed
to be here.
399
00:15:48,885 --> 00:15:49,952
I'm calling the cops.
400
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:51,287
Oh, I'm not supposed
to be here?
401
00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:53,622
This is my house.
Call the freakin' cops.
402
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:54,623
I dare you.
403
00:15:54,691 --> 00:15:56,225
Dear God.
404
00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:57,960
What's going on, Vick?
405
00:15:58,028 --> 00:15:59,628
- It's my ex-husband.
406
00:15:59,696 --> 00:16:02,698
Oh, is that son of a bitch
sleeping in my house?
407
00:16:05,402 --> 00:16:07,203
You better not be sleeping
in my bed, dude.
408
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,004
You better step off, bro.
409
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:10,573
Oh, don't call me bro, dude.
410
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,976
I have the worst taste
in men.
411
00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:15,611
Yeah, what's your problem?
412
00:16:17,314 --> 00:16:19,281
Charlotte, it's me.
It's Mike. It's me, Mike.
413
00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:21,183
My God, Mike?
What are you doing?
414
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:22,985
I was waiting for Leslie
to leave the bar
415
00:16:23,053 --> 00:16:25,421
So I could scare her,
and then you two showed up.
416
00:16:25,489 --> 00:16:27,223
Oh, what are we gonna do?
417
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,924
All right,
we got to get out of here.
418
00:16:28,992 --> 00:16:31,527
How?
We're out of gas.
419
00:16:31,595 --> 00:16:32,962
Charlotte, you honestly think
this guy ran out of gas
420
00:16:33,029 --> 00:16:36,098
In front of his
ex-wife's house?
421
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:38,834
What are we gonna do
about Tim?
422
00:16:38,902 --> 00:16:41,670
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.
423
00:16:41,738 --> 00:16:43,906
Uh, he'll be fine.
424
00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:47,977
Thank you for doing this.
425
00:16:48,044 --> 00:16:50,012
Oh, it's kinda fun.
426
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,547
It's not bad, is it?
427
00:16:51,615 --> 00:16:53,315
It's great.
428
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:55,150
Maybe I could pursue art.
429
00:16:55,218 --> 00:16:56,585
You know, when I was in college
430
00:16:56,653 --> 00:16:59,221
My art classes were the only
ones I always made it to.
431
00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:02,224
I even had a professor that
told me I had promise.
432
00:17:04,461 --> 00:17:06,629
Wish my dad could see this.
433
00:17:06,696 --> 00:17:08,597
Oh, Wayne.
434
00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:11,233
And that little kid, hunter.
435
00:17:11,301 --> 00:17:15,070
They can both suck it.
436
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:22,044
It was such a disaster.
437
00:17:22,112 --> 00:17:25,781
For a romantic, that guy Tim
could really fight.
438
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:27,850
I'm sorry, Charlotte.
439
00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:30,553
I really thought he was
gonna be something.
440
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:31,787
I never liked him.
441
00:17:31,855 --> 00:17:33,856
You never met him.
442
00:17:33,924 --> 00:17:37,459
Still, I know these things.
443
00:17:37,527 --> 00:17:39,395
I'm an artist.
444
00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:43,866
Hey, I'm an artist.
445
00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:45,301
You want to get out of here?
446
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,902
Yeah, I do.
447
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:50,005
Cool.
See you later, guys.
448
00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:53,976
Is Mook here yet?
449
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:56,812
I mean, is meek here?
450
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,147
Milk.
451
00:17:58,214 --> 00:18:00,749
Mulch.
452
00:18:00,817 --> 00:18:01,951
Moo, monk.
453
00:18:02,018 --> 00:18:04,954
Does she mean me?
454
00:18:05,021 --> 00:18:06,455
How much did she drink?
455
00:18:06,523 --> 00:18:10,526
At least
13 sour patch Martinis.
456
00:18:10,594 --> 00:18:14,897
She's not gonna remember
anything in the morning.
457
00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:28,577
What are you doing here?
458
00:18:28,645 --> 00:18:31,580
You were pretty drunk
last night.
459
00:18:31,648 --> 00:18:33,182
We didn't.
460
00:18:33,249 --> 00:18:35,317
We did.
461
00:18:35,385 --> 00:18:37,019
Big time.
462
00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:46,762
It's not a dream.
463
00:18:49,165 --> 00:18:51,533
My work here is done.
464
00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:04,653
Leslie,
I know you're in here,
465
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,721
And I am not scared.
466
00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:10,225
Hey, man.
467
00:19:10,593 --> 00:19:12,460
What'd you find,
a gray hair or a mouse?
468
00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:15,230
Thought you were Leslie
trying to scare me,
469
00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:18,032
Which is not gonna work.
470
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,801
You're ridiculous.
471
00:19:22,338 --> 00:19:25,540
Well, she is not
in the toilet tank.
472
00:19:25,608 --> 00:19:27,909
How small do you think
she is?
473
00:19:27,977 --> 00:19:30,445
Trust me,
this girl is nimble.
474
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:33,114
Her grandmother spent 34 years
with the Korean circus.
475
00:19:33,182 --> 00:19:34,115
She was an acrobat?
476
00:19:34,183 --> 00:19:36,151
- No, she sold CDs
and t-shirts.
477
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,922
Oh.
478
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:47,428
Ow!
479
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:48,164
Koreans.
480
00:19:48,165 --> 00:19:52,165
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