1 00:00:00,095 --> 00:00:04,678 8 Simple Rules - S03e14 -Temptation- 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:08,291 Oh! Grandpa. I didn't know you were down here. 3 00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:11,290 I've been down here ever since you went in the bathroom. 4 00:00:11,306 --> 00:00:15,206 What is that? One of your mom's lingerie catalogs? 5 00:00:17,055 --> 00:00:17,942 Yeah. 6 00:00:17,943 --> 00:00:20,045 I think she was looking for that. 7 00:00:20,581 --> 00:00:21,747 I was just thinking of 8 00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:24,037 getting her something for her birthday. 9 00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:26,061 Oh, good idea. 10 00:00:26,078 --> 00:00:28,173 Yeah, nothing says "Happy birthday!, mommy" 11 00:00:28,174 --> 00:00:30,693 like fancy underwear. 12 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,124 Grandpa... 13 00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:34,493 Hey, I know what's going on 14 00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:37,529 Teenage boy, magazine with lots of girls, 15 00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:40,520 locked door ... it all adds up. 16 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,132 You're going to hell. 17 00:00:43,408 --> 00:00:44,168 What? 18 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,604 Oh, I'm just kidding, but 'ease up, boss'. 19 00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:49,378 I mean, even God took sunday off. 20 00:00:49,379 --> 00:00:52,101 --- 21 00:00:52,102 --> 00:00:53,900 Oh, my God! 22 00:00:53,911 --> 00:00:55,346 What's all this? 23 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,801 Yeah!; People keep bringing me stuff 'cause of my broken leg. 24 00:00:57,802 --> 00:00:59,517 Oh, that's so sweet. 25 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,737 She got a laptop. 26 00:01:00,738 --> 00:01:04,241 Yeah; I gave it away. What am I gonna do with a computer? 27 00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:06,664 Oh, my God. 28 00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:08,950 Look at this woman hanging all over principal Gibb. 29 00:01:08,951 --> 00:01:11,264 What, did she lose a bet or something? 30 00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:14,135 Uh... Ed? 31 00:01:14,136 --> 00:01:15,500 -Cate! -Hi. 32 00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:18,680 My friend ... I-I never expected to see you here. 33 00:01:18,937 --> 00:01:20,849 At school? Where we both work? 34 00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:24,097 Yes ... school, of course. 35 00:01:27,146 --> 00:01:28,683 Hi. I'm Cate. 36 00:01:28,684 --> 00:01:30,248 Hi. 37 00:01:30,249 --> 00:01:33,592 Cate, yes. This is ... uh, uh ... Cheryl... 38 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,659 Also my friend. 39 00:01:36,074 --> 00:01:37,356 Friend? 40 00:01:37,357 --> 00:01:39,578 After last night, we're either very good friends 41 00:01:39,579 --> 00:01:41,669 or very bad enemies. 42 00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:44,109 Oh, my God. Look at the time. 43 00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:45,182 So... 44 00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:47,096 this is the new girlfriend. 45 00:01:47,097 --> 00:01:48,556 How'd you guys meet? 46 00:01:48,557 --> 00:01:52,555 Cheryl was the receptionist at my divorce lawyer's office. 47 00:01:52,659 --> 00:01:55,240 You could say I used to file his briefs, but now I... 48 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,665 Yeah, yeah, I think I get it. 49 00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:57,916 -I was gonna say- -No, no, no. 50 00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,043 Really, I got it. 51 00:02:00,194 --> 00:02:01,362 Here's the bell! 52 00:02:01,363 --> 00:02:03,540 We should be off. 53 00:02:05,804 --> 00:02:07,716 Is that his new girlfriend? 54 00:02:08,059 --> 00:02:09,823 Well...yeah. 55 00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:11,263 I don't believe it. 56 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,912 Is principal Gibb secretly rich? 57 00:02:12,913 --> 00:02:15,417 Or secretly hot? 58 00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:16,787 Well... 59 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,197 Good for Ed! 60 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:21,182 Good... 61 00:02:21,447 --> 00:02:22,798 for... 62 00:02:22,799 --> 00:02:24,705 ...Ed. 63 00:02:26,361 --> 00:02:28,830 So, the election of 1912 64 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:30,899 America's choices were 65 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,533 Teddy Roosevelt... 66 00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:34,435 William Howard Taft... 67 00:02:34,436 --> 00:02:35,870 Woodrow Wilson. 68 00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:39,408 Does anyone know why Wilson won? 69 00:02:39,741 --> 00:02:41,009 Hennessy. 70 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:44,166 Roosevelt's Bull Moose party split the republican vote, 71 00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:46,566 giving the election to Wilson, the democrat. 72 00:02:46,685 --> 00:02:48,060 [Zzz...zzZ] 73 00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:51,449 Well, that's one boring theory. 74 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:52,587 But consider this 75 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,417 A mustache... 76 00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:56,057 Mustache... 77 00:02:56,058 --> 00:02:57,943 No mustache. 78 00:02:58,368 --> 00:02:59,667 That's right. 79 00:02:59,668 --> 00:03:03,176 I don't think America will ever trust a man in a mustache. 80 00:03:03,177 --> 00:03:05,527 That's why Jeff Foxworthy was never 81 00:03:05,528 --> 00:03:08,198 and will never be president of this country. 82 00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:11,263 Mr. Barnes, 83 00:03:11,264 --> 00:03:12,382 can I talk to you for a second? 84 00:03:12,383 --> 00:03:14,585 Sure. Ladies and gentlemen, the principal. 85 00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:16,358 No mustache. 86 00:03:18,514 --> 00:03:20,610 C.J., um, 87 00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:23,573 I was wondering if I could ask you a favor. 88 00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:26,009 See, I-I have a friend ... a, 89 00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:27,743 uh, a lady friend. 90 00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:30,184 Ah, you want me to take out her fat sister. No problem. 91 00:03:30,185 --> 00:03:31,593 Listen... 92 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:34,196 I got a half a case of wine coolers in my car. 93 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,722 The other half's in me belly. 94 00:03:36,723 --> 00:03:39,599 I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. 95 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,500 So she's taking her G.E.D. in a couple weeks, 96 00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,236 and she needs to brush up on her American History. 97 00:03:44,237 --> 00:03:47,207 I was considering she could sit in on one of your classes. 98 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,374 I don't know. It might be a little awkward 99 00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:51,901 having the boss's friend in my class. 100 00:03:51,902 --> 00:03:54,292 -Oh, Eddie! there you are! -Ahhh -Ahh 101 00:03:55,951 --> 00:03:58,663 Then again, it might be the most natural thing in the world. 102 00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:00,236 Welcome! 103 00:04:01,078 --> 00:04:01,936 Hi! 104 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,392 This is your teacher ... Mr. Barnes. 105 00:04:04,393 --> 00:04:05,526 C.J. 106 00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:08,096 Class, this is my friend, Cheryl. 107 00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:09,739 She's gonna be with us for a couple weeks. 108 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,628 And for the record, 109 00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:13,099 her presence violates not one single code 110 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,304 of the Michigan unified school districts' by laws. 111 00:04:16,305 --> 00:04:18,574 Although it seems like it would. 112 00:04:18,705 --> 00:04:22,143 Mr. Barnes, treat her as you would any other student. 113 00:04:22,144 --> 00:04:25,394 So I can take her to the prom? 114 00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:28,278 Have a seat. 115 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,656 Okay... 116 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,731 All right, the election of 1912... 117 00:04:36,856 --> 00:04:37,807 Hennessy. 118 00:04:37,914 --> 00:04:39,929 I need to go to the bathroom. 119 00:04:43,396 --> 00:04:44,920 Hi, Cate. 120 00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:45,633 You got a second? 121 00:04:45,634 --> 00:04:47,492 Sure. What's up? 122 00:04:47,493 --> 00:04:49,545 I feel I kind of sprung 123 00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:51,319 Cheryl on you this morning. 124 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,374 I felt you deserved an explanation. 125 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,741 Oh... 126 00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,459 You don't need an explanation. 127 00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:59,701 When you asked me out, I wasn't ready to date. 128 00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:01,884 And when I was, you already had a girlfriend. 129 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,149 Today I met her 130 00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:04,350 ... end of story. 131 00:05:04,351 --> 00:05:05,586 Really? 132 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,074 Of course. We're friends. 133 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:11,028 Ok, good. I just want to make sure that... 134 00:05:11,029 --> 00:05:13,061 nothing got awkward between us. 135 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,431 Especially because Cheryl's gonna be taking classes here. 136 00:05:16,563 --> 00:05:17,731 She is? 137 00:05:17,732 --> 00:05:21,089 Yeah. She's brushing up for her 138 00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:22,170 G.E.D. 139 00:05:22,171 --> 00:05:23,488 Since we started dating, 140 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,407 she's a little self-conscious about not finishing high school. 141 00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:29,963 Ohhhh, she never finished high school. 142 00:05:30,316 --> 00:05:33,282 I would've thought she had a "p-h-double-d." 143 00:05:34,223 --> 00:05:36,310 See, that's the kind of comment 144 00:05:36,311 --> 00:05:37,596 that makes me start wondering 145 00:05:37,597 --> 00:05:39,520 if things might eventually become awkward. 146 00:05:39,521 --> 00:05:42,857 No, Ed, look ... seriously, if you're happy, I'm happy. 147 00:05:42,858 --> 00:05:44,011 Good, 148 00:05:44,012 --> 00:05:46,045 Because I am happy. 149 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,411 Extremely happy. 150 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:50,215 I'm exhausted, but happy. 151 00:05:50,352 --> 00:05:52,490 I've actually lost 5 pounds. Gosh! 152 00:05:52,491 --> 00:05:54,260 Getting awkward. 153 00:05:54,493 --> 00:05:55,862 I can see that. 154 00:05:57,497 --> 00:06:00,405 So, until its repeal in 1933, 155 00:06:00,415 --> 00:06:02,464 with the passage of the volstead act, 156 00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:04,245 prohibition was in effect. 157 00:06:04,246 --> 00:06:07,166 All forms of alcohol were illegal. 158 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,229 Wait ... 159 00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,814 all alcohol? 160 00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:12,159 Yuh-huh. 161 00:06:12,357 --> 00:06:13,993 Even body shots? 162 00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:17,594 Yes; These were dark times. 163 00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,773 But if people couldn't drink, how'd they get the courage up 164 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,367 to run topless through a crowded ballpark? 165 00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:27,726 Or marry a perfect stranger after knowing him only an hour? 166 00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:30,263 This does not sound like my America. 167 00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,568 Okay, guys, read chapter 10. 168 00:06:33,569 --> 00:06:36,574 And tomorrow, if we're lucky, maybe we'll hear what Cheryl 169 00:06:36,575 --> 00:06:40,904 may or may not have done while intoxicated. 170 00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,427 Mr. Barnes? 171 00:06:42,428 --> 00:06:44,817 I'm sorry. Was I a little too open with my stories? 172 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:47,357 No, I like a woman who's been naked 173 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:49,525 in as many ballparks as I have. 174 00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:51,411 You know; 175 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:54,190 Getting this G.E.D. is really important to me. 176 00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:56,197 I was kind of hoping you could help me out 177 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,159 maybe a little... 178 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,795 'personal tutoring' 179 00:06:58,796 --> 00:07:00,064 Huh... 180 00:07:01,136 --> 00:07:03,298 Oh, uh, yeah. No. 181 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:05,227 That's super cool. 182 00:07:05,228 --> 00:07:07,736 Any friend of the principal, I could help out. 183 00:07:07,737 --> 00:07:09,816 Maybe I can meet you in the library after 7th period. 184 00:07:09,817 --> 00:07:12,677 Oh no. I'm a little self-conscious here at school, 185 00:07:12,678 --> 00:07:15,083 being so much older and better-looking than everyone. 186 00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:18,692 I was hoping we could do it at my apartment. 187 00:07:18,693 --> 00:07:21,856 By "it," you mean study, right? 188 00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:24,493 Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. 189 00:07:36,284 --> 00:07:37,485 Hey, girls. 190 00:07:37,486 --> 00:07:39,988 -Hey, mom. -Hey, mom. 191 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:42,808 So, uh, how you doing? 192 00:07:42,935 --> 00:07:44,993 Fine. Why? 193 00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:48,129 Because of principal Gibb and his girlfriend. 194 00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:50,136 Yeah, and, you know, because you... 195 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,533 Lost. 196 00:07:52,534 --> 00:07:54,825 Girls, this wasn't a competition. 197 00:07:54,826 --> 00:07:56,372 It sure wasn't. 198 00:07:58,441 --> 00:07:59,478 Anyway, 199 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,810 we brought you these to make you feel better. 200 00:08:01,811 --> 00:08:02,835 Wow. 201 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:06,398 A new lingerie catalog... 202 00:08:08,448 --> 00:08:10,902 ...and a box of candy. 203 00:08:10,903 --> 00:08:12,922 Now I can see how thin I want to be 204 00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:14,658 and then not get there. 205 00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:15,493 Come on, mom. 206 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:18,459 You are a classy, intelligent, interesting woman. 207 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:21,858 There's got to be some way of making that work for you. 208 00:08:22,271 --> 00:08:24,874 Thanks for the pep talk, girls. 209 00:08:28,565 --> 00:08:31,535 Where did that catalog go? 210 00:08:33,473 --> 00:08:35,409 Well, you're in a good mood. 211 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:38,004 And why not? It's five minutes to "Matlock." 212 00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:41,348 This is the one where he outwits the northerner. 213 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,436 Hey, dad; 214 00:08:43,437 --> 00:08:46,047 Why do men have to be such jackasses? 215 00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:49,623 You're not looking for an actual answer, are you? 216 00:08:49,799 --> 00:08:50,758 No. 217 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,997 I can't just get up and leave? Can I? 218 00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:53,961 No! 219 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,702 After all this time, 220 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,710 I'm finally ready to date. 221 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:58,843 And I think I meet the 222 00:08:58,844 --> 00:09:00,932 right guy, or a right guy. 223 00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:01,809 Gibb. 224 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,823 And I find out he has a girlfriend. 225 00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:05,069 Gibb. 226 00:09:05,387 --> 00:09:07,118 Well, today I met her. 227 00:09:07,119 --> 00:09:09,075 Blond, tight sweater, 228 00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:11,549 a body that looks like 229 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,873 it was developed by NASA. 230 00:09:14,076 --> 00:09:16,250 Gibb! 231 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,514 This is what I'm up against. 232 00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:20,455 How am I supposed to compete with that? 233 00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:21,822 There's no competition. 234 00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:24,741 There's no one as pretty as my baby girl. 235 00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:26,661 Thanks, dad. 236 00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:28,963 Ah, besides, she's just a shiny object, 237 00:09:28,964 --> 00:09:31,131 a pleasant little dream he's having. 238 00:09:31,132 --> 00:09:33,543 And, sooner or later, Gibb will wake up 239 00:09:33,544 --> 00:09:36,647 and discover that he's missing the real deal. 240 00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:38,048 Mm... 241 00:09:38,306 --> 00:09:39,851 Maybe you're right. 242 00:09:39,852 --> 00:09:44,320 I guess every guy is entitled to his little fantasy. 243 00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:45,466 -Aah!! -Aah!! 244 00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:47,307 [Rory:] Mom!! 245 00:09:54,622 --> 00:09:56,246 Hey, Rory. 246 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:57,704 Mom. 247 00:09:57,705 --> 00:10:00,027 Honey; If there's anything you want to talk about- 248 00:10:00,028 --> 00:10:01,262 Nope! 249 00:10:01,639 --> 00:10:03,798 You should know it's perfectly natural_ 250 00:10:03,799 --> 00:10:05,199 Good night! 251 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,003 It's only 7:30! 252 00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:13,507 That was a fast study session. 253 00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:16,644 Did Cheryl's brain fill up that quickly? 254 00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:19,682 Cheryl ... 'ay-yi-yi'. 255 00:10:20,048 --> 00:10:22,320 Tonight I did something that fills me with guilt 256 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:25,048 and shame... and not the good kind. 257 00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:27,855 Oh, my God! You hit on Cheryl! 258 00:10:27,856 --> 00:10:30,291 No; She hit on me, but I stopped her. 259 00:10:30,522 --> 00:10:32,893 A little late, but I stopped her. 260 00:10:32,894 --> 00:10:34,878 Then I let it go some more, but then I got scared. 261 00:10:34,879 --> 00:10:37,251 So I stopped her. 262 00:10:37,657 --> 00:10:38,664 Poor Ed. 263 00:10:38,893 --> 00:10:41,221 Y-yeah, that's the point of my story ... 264 00:10:41,222 --> 00:10:42,200 poor Ed. 265 00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:45,880 He has to keep having sex with this insatiable fem-bot. 266 00:10:46,205 --> 00:10:48,688 Well, if she's cheating on him, we have to tell him. 267 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,447 No!! 268 00:10:49,801 --> 00:10:50,762 You can't tell him. 269 00:10:50,763 --> 00:10:52,756 Whatever you say, I'll end up the bad guy. 270 00:10:52,757 --> 00:10:54,181 I don't want to lose my job. 271 00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:55,616 But he has a right to know. 272 00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:56,951 No, shh, don't! 273 00:10:57,162 --> 00:10:59,194 Just pretend I never told you! 274 00:10:59,195 --> 00:11:00,352 But, C.J., We- 275 00:11:00,353 --> 00:11:02,522 No!! Ah! Zz-zz! 276 00:11:02,686 --> 00:11:06,056 Less talking, more pretending! Shh, I'm watching you. 277 00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:07,274 Aah! 278 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:12,918 Rory, 279 00:11:12,919 --> 00:11:15,734 this activity you're engaging in -- 280 00:11:15,735 --> 00:11:18,506 it's nothing to be embarrassed about. 281 00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:22,276 Human sexuality should be celebrated and enjoyed. 282 00:11:22,277 --> 00:11:24,498 And most important, you should know 283 00:11:24,499 --> 00:11:26,472 it's perfectly natural. 284 00:11:26,473 --> 00:11:28,050 Everybody does it. 285 00:11:31,036 --> 00:11:32,905 Everybody? 286 00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:38,820 Uh, maybe you should go to class. 287 00:11:40,796 --> 00:11:41,963 Hello, Ed. 288 00:11:41,964 --> 00:11:43,096 Even- 289 00:11:43,097 --> 00:11:44,932 Go! 290 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:47,378 Cate; Do you have a couple aspirins? 291 00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,814 I've got a really bad headache. 292 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,806 Late night with Cheryl? 293 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,308 Cate, I know what you think about Cheryl, 294 00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:56,630 but she is not just a party girl. 295 00:11:56,722 --> 00:11:58,029 I never said she was. 296 00:11:58,033 --> 00:12:02,024 She's very sweet and considerate and funny. 297 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,159 And, as hard as it may be for you, my ex-wife, 298 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,800 and the congregation of my temple to believe, 299 00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:10,085 there may actually be a future for us. 300 00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:11,625 A future? 301 00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,993 Stranger things have happened. 302 00:12:12,994 --> 00:12:14,863 Name one. 303 00:12:15,288 --> 00:12:16,639 Uh... 304 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,991 Ed, 305 00:12:17,992 --> 00:12:19,533 We're friends, right? 306 00:12:19,534 --> 00:12:20,450 Cate; 307 00:12:20,451 --> 00:12:22,280 Let's be honest. 308 00:12:22,511 --> 00:12:24,887 I think the problem is that you are... 309 00:12:24,888 --> 00:12:25,649 ..jealous of Cheryl. 310 00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:26,627 Jealous?! 311 00:12:26,628 --> 00:12:27,561 Yes. 312 00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:29,784 Because you think that 313 00:12:29,784 --> 00:12:31,639 I chose Cheryl over you. 314 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,831 And I was hoping 315 00:12:32,832 --> 00:12:35,267 that you would be above this kind of pettiness. 316 00:12:35,419 --> 00:12:36,178 You know, 317 00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:38,928 I am above every kind of pettiness there is. 318 00:12:39,181 --> 00:12:41,554 By the way, Cheryl's cheating on you. 319 00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:42,255 What? 320 00:12:42,256 --> 00:12:42,989 Yeah! 321 00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:45,061 Last night, she was studying with C.J., 322 00:12:45,095 --> 00:12:46,287 and she came on to him. 323 00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:47,703 C.J.? 324 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:48,493 Ha, ha... 325 00:12:48,493 --> 00:12:49,841 In what world 326 00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:53,344 would Cheryl be attracted to C.J.? 327 00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:56,721 In the world next door to yours. 328 00:13:06,491 --> 00:13:08,254 Uh, C.J., you got a minute? 329 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,048 Actually, I'm grading papers. 330 00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:12,835 -I'll come back. -Wait a second. 331 00:13:12,872 --> 00:13:14,894 "Wing sun-Lee" 332 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,802 that sounds like an "A" 333 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,164 All right. Done. 334 00:13:19,652 --> 00:13:20,926 Um... 335 00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:22,780 C.J., 336 00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:24,776 I'm sorry, but I, um... 337 00:13:24,893 --> 00:13:27,375 I sort of... 338 00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:30,487 ...told Ed about you and Cheryl. 339 00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:34,479 What's that? 340 00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,543 Are you kidding?! He's gonna kill me! 341 00:13:37,544 --> 00:13:39,210 Dude, I told you not to tell him! 342 00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:40,082 What's wrong with you? 343 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,809 I didn't mean to! But... 344 00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:43,785 But he started to accuse me of being petty and jealous. 345 00:13:43,786 --> 00:13:45,849 You used me to get back at him. -No! 346 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,249 Well, yes. 347 00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:49,187 But it wasn't my intent, 348 00:13:49,188 --> 00:13:52,113 and it doesn't even matter 'cause he didn't believe me. 349 00:13:52,121 --> 00:13:53,725 Oh, great! Now he just thinks 350 00:13:53,728 --> 00:13:54,830 I'm spreading a rumor 351 00:13:54,831 --> 00:13:57,109 that his girlfriend's a skank. 352 00:13:57,110 --> 00:14:00,298 My God! I'm never gonna get tenure! 353 00:14:00,363 --> 00:14:01,991 C.J., I'm really sorry. 354 00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:04,593 No;Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog! 355 00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:06,493 All right; We need a plan. 356 00:14:06,496 --> 00:14:07,940 Can you get a helicopter? 357 00:14:07,941 --> 00:14:09,378 No, wait. 358 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:10,608 Okay, I got a better one. 359 00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:12,114 All right, okay. 360 00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,523 Tonight, I bring Cheryl over 361 00:14:14,524 --> 00:14:16,381 for a little private tutoring at the house. 362 00:14:16,382 --> 00:14:17,813 You get Ed, come over, 363 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,318 hide in the dining room, 364 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:21,286 and then he can see for himself. 365 00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:22,738 What? -Yeah; 366 00:14:22,785 --> 00:14:24,456 That's right. It'll take about 3 seconds. 367 00:14:24,457 --> 00:14:27,366 She can't wait to pimp this ride. 368 00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,060 Yeah. 369 00:14:29,063 --> 00:14:30,495 It's a good plan. 370 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,297 Yeah; For Lucy and Ethel. 371 00:14:32,298 --> 00:14:35,100 But in the real world, people do not hide in closets 372 00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:36,904 and watch other people make out. 373 00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:40,205 Uh, yeah, they do. It's called a fraternity. 374 00:14:40,439 --> 00:14:42,471 Forget it. I'm not doing it. 375 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:44,009 You owe me! 376 00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,835 I finally got a job I like, and you ruined it for me! 377 00:14:46,836 --> 00:14:49,137 You've besmirched my name. 378 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,317 And I cannot unsmirch it by myself. 379 00:14:52,318 --> 00:14:55,260 Your plan is insane. I'm not doing it. 380 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,453 Fine. 381 00:14:56,644 --> 00:14:58,123 Forget about me. I'll bounce back. 382 00:14:58,124 --> 00:14:59,762 I have other names. 383 00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,827 But what about you, Cate? 384 00:15:01,828 --> 00:15:03,441 If you don't prove this to Ed, 385 00:15:03,442 --> 00:15:05,590 he's gonna think you're nothing but a jealous, 386 00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:09,494 insecure, petty middle-aged woman. 387 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,001 I'll have him there by 7:00. 388 00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,444 Oh, Ed, I'm glad you're here. 389 00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:21,895 No, no, not at all. I'm glad you asked me over. 390 00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,680 I felt really bad about this afternoon. 391 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,336 Oh, yeah. Me too. I wanted to apologize. 392 00:15:26,338 --> 00:15:27,149 No need. 393 00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:28,125 I had no right to accuse you 394 00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:29,845 of being petty. 395 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:30,789 Thank you. 396 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,324 I don't know why I would say such a thing. 397 00:15:32,325 --> 00:15:36,228 You're one of the classiest, most dignified people I know. 398 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:37,662 Thanks, Ed. 399 00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:40,187 And, keeping that in mind, 400 00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,413 I want to propose something 401 00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:43,509 that, on the surface, 402 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,699 might seem a little extreme. 403 00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,438 But it will prove, once and for all, 404 00:15:48,439 --> 00:15:50,475 that your girlfriend is hitting on C.J. 405 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,410 Not this again! -Oh, no, no, Wait! 406 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:54,754 They're on their way over here, 407 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,081 and she's gonna make a move. 408 00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,005 And all we have to do is hide 409 00:15:58,009 --> 00:16:00,582 in a classy, dignified way ... 410 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,120 and you'll see for yourself. 411 00:16:02,121 --> 00:16:04,523 I am not going to spy on my girlfriend! 412 00:16:04,524 --> 00:16:06,892 Who, by the way, is not coming over here, 413 00:16:06,893 --> 00:16:09,293 because she is out tonight with her girlfriends. 414 00:16:09,706 --> 00:16:12,363 Ohh. 415 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:13,539 Are you sure? 416 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,454 Oh, my God! 417 00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:15,701 What is she doing here?! 418 00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:17,703 Let's go over here and find out. 419 00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:19,605 Ow! 420 00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:21,319 Mm. 421 00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:26,297 Welcome to "chateau relax-o." 422 00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:29,253 I'm so glad you asked me to come over and study. 423 00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:31,649 I'm... I was kind of hoping 424 00:16:31,650 --> 00:16:33,599 we could finish what we started last night. 425 00:16:33,615 --> 00:16:34,319 Oh, yes. 426 00:16:34,825 --> 00:16:36,125 Sorry about that 427 00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,657 I usually don't get that nauseous that quickly. 428 00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:40,875 I hope you brought dramamine. 429 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,758 I'm gonna rock your boat. 430 00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:44,402 Oh, shiver me timbers. 431 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,731 What are we doing out here? Let's go in. 432 00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:50,145 It's me. I'll get it. I'll be right in. 433 00:16:50,146 --> 00:16:53,074 All right. I'll go hoist the "Jolly Roger." 434 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,689 Hello? 435 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,190 Oh, my God. 436 00:16:58,228 --> 00:17:00,627 Oh, my God ... aunt Jane? 437 00:17:00,981 --> 00:17:02,634 That's awful. 438 00:17:02,974 --> 00:17:05,239 Of course I'll fly in for the funeral. 439 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:08,865 She was my favorite aunt. 440 00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:14,436 Hey! Aunt Cate. 441 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,443 If it gets a little gnarly, 442 00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:18,510 my safe word is "ardor." 443 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:20,952 Harbor? 444 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,453 Ardor! 445 00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:24,615 Harder? 446 00:17:24,616 --> 00:17:27,976 Forget it. Just leave her on me. 447 00:17:28,293 --> 00:17:31,522 Hey! I was about to send out a search party. 448 00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:34,512 Now the search is over, let's party. 449 00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,864 C.J., maybe tonight's not a good night. 450 00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:38,138 Not good yet, 451 00:17:38,139 --> 00:17:40,251 but I know what will change your mind. 452 00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:42,637 A bottle of Nevada's finest. 453 00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:44,234 C.J., 454 00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:45,757 Come on; You look stressed. 455 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:47,794 You need to give me a back rub. 456 00:17:47,795 --> 00:17:49,896 Come on over here. I'll get started. 457 00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:52,111 Ooh, I'm tense. 458 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,434 Oh, it's one of those massages. 459 00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:57,535 So this is why you invited me over... 460 00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,771 to watch C.J. make a fool of himself? 461 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:00,900 Just give it a minute. 462 00:18:00,903 --> 00:18:02,917 Maybe she's slow to start. 463 00:18:02,921 --> 00:18:05,822 Does she look like she's slow to start? 464 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,221 Listen... 465 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,857 I can't teach you if I can't reach you. Come here. 466 00:18:11,059 --> 00:18:13,234 No, something happened. 467 00:18:13,238 --> 00:18:14,870 I don't want to talk about it. 468 00:18:14,874 --> 00:18:16,455 I don't even want to think about it. 469 00:18:16,456 --> 00:18:19,158 Well, let's get your mind off of it. 470 00:18:19,449 --> 00:18:20,483 Mmmm! 471 00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:23,438 There you go. There's a dead ant. 472 00:18:24,196 --> 00:18:26,234 What are you crying for? 473 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,562 I haven't even touched you yet. 474 00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:29,234 Okay! All right! I've seen enough! 475 00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:32,170 She's not hitting on you! You're just upsetting her! 476 00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:34,238 Yes ... phase one. 477 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,741 You were spying on us? 478 00:18:35,742 --> 00:18:37,359 Cheryl, this is all my fault. 479 00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:39,033 I somehow got the impression 480 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,589 that you were being unfaithful. 481 00:18:40,646 --> 00:18:42,080 I'm very sorry. 482 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,513 It is obvious that you were not hitting on C.J. 483 00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:46,361 Well, imagine that 484 00:18:46,362 --> 00:18:48,408 Cheryl not hitting on C.J. 485 00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,121 Come on, Cheryl. We are leaving. 486 00:18:50,122 --> 00:18:51,915 No, wait. Wait. 487 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:52,999 You know, 488 00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:55,527 I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, 489 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:59,331 but I had every intention of cheating on you with C.J. 490 00:18:59,332 --> 00:19:00,331 What? 491 00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:03,001 Ooh, my good name is back! 492 00:19:03,798 --> 00:19:06,104 Ed, I really like you. I do. 493 00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:08,506 And the sex was copious. 494 00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:11,142 He taught me that word. 495 00:19:11,143 --> 00:19:12,744 But we don't have a future. 496 00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:14,625 You're smart and classy, 497 00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,026 and I lift up my shirt for mardi gras beads. 498 00:19:17,028 --> 00:19:18,280 Cheryl, 499 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,080 I was okay with that. 500 00:19:20,085 --> 00:19:21,986 I do that. 501 00:19:21,987 --> 00:19:23,721 Look, the truth is... 502 00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:25,890 I see the way you look at Cate. 503 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:29,338 That's the way every woman wants to be looked at. 504 00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:31,920 Not like that. 505 00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:34,047 Anyway, I'm sorry, Ed. 506 00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:37,383 I'm sorry this had to end in such a... 507 00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:39,670 Ignominious way. 508 00:19:44,577 --> 00:19:46,268 Well, 509 00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:48,014 excellent use of the word. 510 00:19:48,816 --> 00:19:51,018 Listen ... 511 00:19:51,511 --> 00:19:54,916 I'll see you at school. 512 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,030 And, Ed, I'm sorry, too. 513 00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:58,689 -I was trying to protect you_ -Cate 514 00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,806 Don't apologize. 515 00:20:00,809 --> 00:20:02,127 It's better this way. 516 00:20:02,128 --> 00:20:04,326 I mean, what was I doing with 517 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,132 a woman like Cheryl, anyway? 518 00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:09,333 You mean what were you doing so copiously 519 00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:12,019 with a woman like Cheryl? 520 00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:14,901 You know, she actually did seem like a nice person. 521 00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,851 Well, she's perceptive. 522 00:20:16,855 --> 00:20:19,445 She picked up on us pretty fast. 523 00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:26,183 W-would you like some wine? 524 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,842 Nevada's finest. 525 00:20:27,846 --> 00:20:28,948 Sure, 526 00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:30,614 I would love some wine... 527 00:20:30,618 --> 00:20:32,353 Or whatever that is. 528 00:20:32,592 --> 00:20:36,582 It's a "wine-style beverage." 529 00:20:37,096 --> 00:20:38,444 You know, I think that 530 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,298 there is a curse for me 531 00:20:40,299 --> 00:20:41,632 in this house. 532 00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:44,937 I-it's like it doesn't like me. 533 00:20:44,941 --> 00:20:46,775 What do you mean? 534 00:20:46,789 --> 00:20:48,871 Every time I'm here, something terrible happens. 535 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:51,204 I've been poisoned and punched and 536 00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:52,880 now dumped. 537 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:57,220 Well, they say bad things happen in threes. 538 00:20:57,304 --> 00:20:59,218 Maybe the curse is over. 539 00:20:59,219 --> 00:21:01,169 Well, let's hope so. 540 00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:03,500 I gotta use the restroom. 541 00:21:03,503 --> 00:21:05,216 I'll be right back. 542 00:21:08,259 --> 00:21:10,929 [Rory:] -Aah! -Oh! 543 00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:18,016 Fours. 544 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,558 Bad things happen in 4s. 545 00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,174 ---oOo--- 546 00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:23,778 ---oOo--- 547 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,382 ---oOo--- 548 00:21:24,386 --> 00:21:24,986 ---oOo--- 549 00:21:24,990 --> 00:21:25,590 ---oOo--- 550 00:21:25,594 --> 00:21:27,013 ---oOo---