1 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,767 Oh, grandpa. I didn't know you were down here. 2 00:00:07,834 --> 00:00:11,337 I've been down here ever since you went in the bathroom. 3 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:14,607 What is that, one of your mom's lingerie catalogs? 4 00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:17,877 Yeah. 5 00:00:17,943 --> 00:00:20,045 I think she was looking for that. 6 00:00:20,112 --> 00:00:21,681 I was just thinking of 7 00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:24,183 getting her something for her birthday. 8 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,384 Oh, good idea. 9 00:00:25,451 --> 00:00:28,454 Yeah, nothing says "happy birthday, mommy" 10 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,022 like fancy underwear. 11 00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:32,058 Grandpa... 12 00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:34,427 Hey, I know what's going on -- 13 00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:37,463 teenage boy, magazine with lots of girls, 14 00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,833 locked door -- it all adds up. 15 00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:42,368 You're going to hell. 16 00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:43,937 What? 17 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:46,539 Oh, I'm just kidding, but ease up, hoss. 18 00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:48,741 I mean, even god took sunday off. 19 00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:55,280 Oh, my god. What's all this? 20 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:58,083 People keep bringing me stuff 'cause of my broken leg. 21 00:00:58,150 --> 00:00:59,452 Oh, that's so sweet. 22 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,653 She got a laptop. 23 00:01:00,719 --> 00:01:03,823 I gave it away. What am I gonna do with a computer? 24 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,491 Oh, my god. 25 00:01:05,558 --> 00:01:08,728 Look at this woman hanging all over principal gibb. 26 00:01:08,795 --> 00:01:11,264 What, did she lose a bet or something? 27 00:01:11,331 --> 00:01:12,765 Uh...ed? 28 00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:15,434 - Cate! - Hi. 29 00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:18,605 My friend -- I-I never expected to see you here. 30 00:01:18,671 --> 00:01:20,773 At school, w-where we both work? 31 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,742 Yes -- school, of course. 32 00:01:27,146 --> 00:01:28,414 Hi. I'm Cate. 33 00:01:28,481 --> 00:01:30,182 Hi. 34 00:01:30,249 --> 00:01:33,686 Cate, yes. This is -- uh, uh -- Cheryl... 35 00:01:33,753 --> 00:01:35,021 Also my friend. 36 00:01:36,088 --> 00:01:37,523 After last night, 37 00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:40,492 we're either very good friends or very bad enemies. 38 00:01:41,661 --> 00:01:43,262 Oh, my god. Look at the time. 39 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,266 So...this is the new girlfriend. 40 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:48,834 How'd you guys meet? 41 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,938 Cheryl was the receptionist at my divorce lawyer's office. 42 00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:55,174 You could say I used to file his briefs, but now I -- 43 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,609 yeah, I think I get it. 44 00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:57,876 - I was gonna say -- - No, no, no. 45 00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:58,917 Really, I got it. 46 00:02:00,513 --> 00:02:01,915 We should be off. 47 00:02:04,884 --> 00:02:07,386 Is that his new girlfriend? 48 00:02:07,453 --> 00:02:08,621 Well...yeah. 49 00:02:08,688 --> 00:02:10,355 I don't believe it. 50 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,292 Is principal gibb secretly rich? 51 00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:15,294 Or secretly hot? 52 00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:19,132 Well... Good for ed. 53 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:22,969 Good...for...ed. 54 00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:28,764 So, the election of 1912 -- 55 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:30,833 America's choices were -- 56 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,468 Teddy Roosevelt... 57 00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:34,370 William Howard taft... 58 00:02:34,436 --> 00:02:35,805 Woodrow Wilson. 59 00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:38,274 Does anyone know why Wilson won? 60 00:02:39,642 --> 00:02:40,943 Hennessy. 61 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:43,212 Roosevelt's bull moose party split the republican vote, 62 00:02:43,279 --> 00:02:45,481 giving the election to Wilson, the democrat. 63 00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:50,719 Well, that's one boring theory. 64 00:02:50,786 --> 00:02:52,521 But consider this -- 65 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,390 a mustache... 66 00:02:54,457 --> 00:02:55,991 Mustache... 67 00:02:56,058 --> 00:02:57,259 No mustache. 68 00:02:57,326 --> 00:02:59,362 That's right. 69 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,831 I don't think America will ever trust a man in a mustache. 70 00:03:02,898 --> 00:03:05,100 That's why Jeff foxworthy was never 71 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,837 and will never be president of this country. 72 00:03:09,038 --> 00:03:11,907 Mr. Barnes, can I talk to you for a second? 73 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:14,110 Sure. Ladies and gentlemen, the principal. 74 00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,278 No mustache. 75 00:03:18,514 --> 00:03:22,751 C.J., um, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor. 76 00:03:22,818 --> 00:03:26,622 See, I-I have a friend -- a, uh, a lady friend. 77 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:29,692 Ah, you want me to take out her fat sister. No problem. 78 00:03:29,758 --> 00:03:31,527 Listen... 79 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:34,396 I got a half a case of wine coolers in my car. 80 00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:36,399 The other half's in me belly. 81 00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:38,634 I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. 82 00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,270 So she's taking her g.E.D. In a couple weeks, 83 00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:44,139 and she needs to brush up on her American history. 84 00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:47,142 I was hoping she could sit in on one of your classes. 85 00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:49,111 It might be a little awkward 86 00:03:49,178 --> 00:03:51,547 having the boss's friend in my class. 87 00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:53,482 Oh, Eddie, there you are. 88 00:03:55,951 --> 00:03:58,387 Then again, it might be the most natural thing in the world. 89 00:03:58,454 --> 00:04:00,222 Welcome. 90 00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:01,290 Hi. 91 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:04,326 This is your teacher -- Mr. Barnes. 92 00:04:04,393 --> 00:04:05,461 C.J. 93 00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:08,030 Class, this is my friend, Cheryl. 94 00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:10,099 She's gonna be with us for a couple weeks. 95 00:04:10,165 --> 00:04:12,969 And for the record, her presence violates not one single code 96 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:16,238 of the Michigan unified school districts' bylaws. 97 00:04:16,305 --> 00:04:18,574 Although it seems like it would. 98 00:04:18,641 --> 00:04:22,078 Mr. Barnes, treat her as you would any other student. 99 00:04:22,144 --> 00:04:24,613 So I can take her to the prom? 100 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,283 Have a seat. 101 00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:32,521 Okay... 102 00:04:32,587 --> 00:04:35,424 All right, the election of 1912... 103 00:04:35,491 --> 00:04:37,259 Hennessy. 104 00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:39,929 I need to go to the bathroom. 105 00:04:43,332 --> 00:04:45,568 Hi, Cate. You got a second? 106 00:04:45,634 --> 00:04:47,603 Sure. What's up? 107 00:04:47,669 --> 00:04:50,906 I feel I kind of sprung Cheryl on you this morning. 108 00:04:50,973 --> 00:04:53,309 I felt you deserved an explanation. 109 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:55,978 Oh...you don't need an explanation. 110 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,748 When you asked me out, I wasn't ready to date. 111 00:04:58,814 --> 00:05:01,883 And when I was, you already had a girlfriend. 112 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,219 Today I met her -- end of story. 113 00:05:04,286 --> 00:05:05,220 Really? 114 00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:07,756 Of course. We're friends. 115 00:05:07,823 --> 00:05:09,958 I just want to make sure 116 00:05:10,025 --> 00:05:12,995 that nothing got awkward between us. 117 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,431 Especially because Cheryl's gonna be taking classes here. 118 00:05:16,498 --> 00:05:17,666 She is? 119 00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:20,435 Yeah. She's brushing up for her g.E.D. 120 00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:22,138 Since we started dating, 121 00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:26,341 she's a little self-conscious about not finishing high school. 122 00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:29,445 Ohhhh, she never finished high school. 123 00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:33,282 I would've thought she had a "p-h-double-d." 124 00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:36,752 See, that's the kind of comment that makes me start wondering 125 00:05:36,819 --> 00:05:39,288 if things might eventually become awkward. 126 00:05:39,354 --> 00:05:42,792 No, ed, look -- seriously, if you're happy, I'm happy. 127 00:05:42,858 --> 00:05:45,328 Good, because I am happy. 128 00:05:45,394 --> 00:05:47,063 Extremely happy. 129 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,865 I'm exhausted, but happy. 130 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,801 I've actually lost 5 pounds. 131 00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:53,636 Getting awkward. 132 00:05:53,702 --> 00:05:55,071 I can see that. 133 00:05:57,506 --> 00:05:59,608 So, until its repeal in 1933, 134 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,011 with the passage of the volstead act, 135 00:06:02,077 --> 00:06:04,179 prohibition was in effect. 136 00:06:04,246 --> 00:06:07,182 All forms of alcohol were illegal. 137 00:06:07,249 --> 00:06:09,651 Wait -- all alcohol? 138 00:06:09,718 --> 00:06:11,487 Yuh-huh. 139 00:06:11,553 --> 00:06:13,189 Even body shots? 140 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,825 Yes, these were dark times. 141 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,563 But if people couldn't drink, how'd they get the courage up 142 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:23,899 to run topless through a crowded ballpark? 143 00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:27,436 Or marry a perfect stranger after knowing him only an hour? 144 00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:30,039 This does not sound like my America. 145 00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,242 Okay, guys, read chapter 10. 146 00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:36,945 And tomorrow, if we're lucky, maybe we'll hear what Cheryl 147 00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:39,882 may or may not have done while intoxicated. 148 00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:42,017 Mr. Barnes? 149 00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:45,220 I'm sorry. Was I a little too open with my stories? 150 00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:47,356 No, I like a woman who's been naked 151 00:06:47,423 --> 00:06:49,525 in as many ballparks as I have. 152 00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:53,362 You know, getting this g.E.D. Is really important to me. 153 00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:56,131 I was kind of hoping you could help me out -- 154 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,300 maybe a little... Personal tutoring. 155 00:06:58,367 --> 00:06:59,635 Huh... 156 00:07:01,136 --> 00:07:04,773 Oh, uh, yeah. No. That's super cool. 157 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,042 Any friend of the principal, I could help out. 158 00:07:07,109 --> 00:07:09,544 Maybe I can meet you in the library after 7th period. 159 00:07:09,611 --> 00:07:11,614 I'm a little self-conscious here at school, 160 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,016 being so much older and better-looking than everyone. 161 00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:18,354 I was hoping we could do it at my apartment. 162 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:21,290 By "it," you mean study, right? 163 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,993 Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. 164 00:07:36,284 --> 00:07:37,419 Hey, girls. 165 00:07:37,486 --> 00:07:39,988 - Hey, mom. - Hey, mom. 166 00:07:40,054 --> 00:07:42,324 So, uh, how you doing? 167 00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,927 Fine. Why? 168 00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:48,063 Because of principal gibb and his girlfriend. 169 00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:52,467 Yeah, and, you know, because you...Lost. 170 00:07:52,534 --> 00:07:54,869 Girls, this wasn't a competition. 171 00:07:54,936 --> 00:07:56,372 It sure wasn't. 172 00:07:58,072 --> 00:08:01,442 Anyway, we brought you these to make you feel better. 173 00:08:01,509 --> 00:08:02,510 Wow. 174 00:08:02,577 --> 00:08:05,281 A new lingerie catalog... 175 00:08:08,383 --> 00:08:10,051 ...and a box of candy. 176 00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:12,921 Now I can see how thin I want to be 177 00:08:12,988 --> 00:08:14,723 and then not get there. 178 00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,124 Come on, mom. 179 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,393 You are a classy, intelligent, interesting woman. 180 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:21,129 There's got to be some way of making that work for you. 181 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,799 Thanks for the pep talk, girls. 182 00:08:28,537 --> 00:08:31,507 Where did that catalog go? 183 00:08:33,408 --> 00:08:35,343 Well, you're in a good mood. 184 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:37,645 And why not? It's five minutes to "matlock." 185 00:08:37,712 --> 00:08:40,115 This is the one where he outwits the northerner. 186 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:45,754 Hey, dad, why do men have to be such jackasses? 187 00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:49,324 You're not looking for an actual answer, are you? 188 00:08:49,391 --> 00:08:50,692 No. 189 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,660 I can't just get up and leave? 190 00:08:52,727 --> 00:08:53,895 No! 191 00:08:53,962 --> 00:08:56,898 After all this time, I'm finally ready to date. 192 00:08:56,965 --> 00:09:00,833 And I think I meet the right guy, or a right guy. 193 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:01,755 Gibb. 194 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,380 And I find out he has a girlfriend. 195 00:09:03,405 --> 00:09:04,940 Gibb. 196 00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:09,011 Well, today I met her -- blond, tight sweater, 197 00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:13,181 a body that looks like it was developed by NASA. 198 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:16,184 Gibb! 199 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,019 This is what I'm up against. 200 00:09:18,086 --> 00:09:20,389 How am I supposed to compete with that? 201 00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:21,757 There's no competition. 202 00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:24,192 There's no one as pretty as my baby girl. 203 00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,595 Thanks, dad. 204 00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:28,897 Ah, besides, she's just a shiny object, 205 00:09:28,964 --> 00:09:31,066 a pleasant little dream he's having. 206 00:09:31,132 --> 00:09:33,735 And, sooner or later, gibb will wake up 207 00:09:33,801 --> 00:09:36,772 and discover that he's missing the real deal. 208 00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:38,239 Mm... 209 00:09:38,306 --> 00:09:39,975 Maybe you're right. 210 00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:44,479 I guess every guy is entitled to his little fantasy. 211 00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,614 Aah! 212 00:09:45,681 --> 00:09:47,082 Rory: Mom! 213 00:09:54,622 --> 00:09:56,190 Hey, Rory. 214 00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:57,659 Mom. 215 00:09:57,725 --> 00:09:59,961 If there's anything you want to talk about -- 216 00:10:00,028 --> 00:10:01,196 nope. 217 00:10:01,263 --> 00:10:03,732 You should know it's perfectly natural -- 218 00:10:03,799 --> 00:10:05,133 good night! 219 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,003 It's only 7:30! 220 00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:13,442 That was a fast study session. 221 00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:16,578 Did Cheryl's brain fill up that quickly? 222 00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:19,982 Cheryl -- ay-yi-yi. 223 00:10:20,048 --> 00:10:23,151 Tonight I did something that fills me with guilt and shame -- 224 00:10:23,218 --> 00:10:25,320 and not the good kind. 225 00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:27,789 Oh, my god! You hit on Cheryl! 226 00:10:27,856 --> 00:10:30,225 No, she hit on me, but I stopped her. 227 00:10:30,292 --> 00:10:32,360 A little late, but I stopped her. 228 00:10:32,427 --> 00:10:35,196 Then I let it go some more, but then I got scared. 229 00:10:35,263 --> 00:10:36,965 So I stopped her. 230 00:10:37,032 --> 00:10:38,600 Poor ed. 231 00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:42,070 Y-yeah, that's the point of my story -- poor ed. 232 00:10:42,137 --> 00:10:45,941 He has to keep having sex with this insatiable fem-bot. 233 00:10:46,007 --> 00:10:48,776 Well, if she's cheating on him, we have to tell him. 234 00:10:48,843 --> 00:10:50,212 No! You can't tell him. 235 00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:52,480 Whatever you say, I'll end up the bad guy. 236 00:10:52,547 --> 00:10:54,115 I don't want to lose my job. 237 00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:55,551 But he has a right to know. 238 00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:58,487 No, shh, don't! Just pretend I never told you! 239 00:10:58,553 --> 00:11:00,222 But, C.J., we -- 240 00:11:00,288 --> 00:11:02,457 no! Ah! Zz-zz! 241 00:11:02,524 --> 00:11:05,893 Less talking, more pretending! Shh, I'm watching you. 242 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:06,929 Aah! 243 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,370 Rory, this activity you're engaging in -- 244 00:11:15,437 --> 00:11:18,440 it's nothing to be embarrassed about. 245 00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:22,210 Human sexuality should be celebrated and enjoyed. 246 00:11:22,277 --> 00:11:26,615 And most important, you should know it's perfectly natural. 247 00:11:26,682 --> 00:11:28,050 Everybody does it. 248 00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:32,554 Everybody? 249 00:11:36,691 --> 00:11:38,460 Uh, maybe you should go to class. 250 00:11:40,695 --> 00:11:41,796 Hello, ed. 251 00:11:41,863 --> 00:11:43,030 Even -- 252 00:11:43,097 --> 00:11:44,866 go! 253 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:47,602 Cate, do you have a couple aspirins? 254 00:11:47,669 --> 00:11:50,038 I've got a really bad headache. 255 00:11:50,105 --> 00:11:51,740 Late night with Cheryl? 256 00:11:51,807 --> 00:11:54,242 Cate, I know what you think about Cheryl, 257 00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:56,378 but she is not just a party girl. 258 00:11:56,445 --> 00:11:58,447 I never said she was. 259 00:11:58,513 --> 00:12:01,316 She's very sweet and considerate and funny. 260 00:12:01,383 --> 00:12:04,386 And, as hard as it may be for you, my ex-wife, 261 00:12:04,453 --> 00:12:07,355 and the congregation of my temple to believe, 262 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,958 there may actually be a future for us. 263 00:12:10,024 --> 00:12:11,559 A future? 264 00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,928 Stranger things have happened. 265 00:12:12,994 --> 00:12:14,863 Name one. 266 00:12:14,929 --> 00:12:19,167 Uh...ed, we're friends, right? 267 00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:21,069 Cate, let's be honest. 268 00:12:22,504 --> 00:12:25,641 I think the problem is that you are jealous of Cheryl. 269 00:12:25,707 --> 00:12:27,175 Jealous?! 270 00:12:27,242 --> 00:12:30,579 Yes, because you think that I chose Cheryl over you. 271 00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:31,946 And I was hoping 272 00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:35,083 that you would be above this kind of pettiness. 273 00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:38,486 You know, I am above every kind of pettiness there is. 274 00:12:38,553 --> 00:12:40,955 By the way, Cheryl's cheating on you. 275 00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:42,724 What? 276 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,692 Last night, she was studying with C.J., 277 00:12:44,759 --> 00:12:46,894 and she came on to him. 278 00:12:46,961 --> 00:12:48,630 C.J.? 279 00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:52,567 In what world would Cheryl be attracted to C.J.? 280 00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:55,204 In the world next door to yours. 281 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,047 Uh, C.J., you got a minute? 282 00:13:08,113 --> 00:13:09,982 Actually, I'm grading papers. 283 00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:13,085 - I'll come back. - Wait a second. 284 00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:17,157 "Wing sun-Lee" -- that sounds like an "a." 285 00:13:17,223 --> 00:13:18,825 All right, done. 286 00:13:18,892 --> 00:13:20,860 Um... 287 00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:24,497 C.J., I'm sorry, but I, um -- 288 00:13:24,564 --> 00:13:27,667 I sort of... 289 00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:29,669 Told ed about you and Cheryl. 290 00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:33,373 What's that? 291 00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:36,375 Are you kidding?! He's gonna kill me! 292 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:39,279 Dude, I told you not to tell him! What's wrong with you? 293 00:13:39,345 --> 00:13:41,280 I didn't mean to! 294 00:13:41,347 --> 00:13:44,049 But he started to accuse me of being petty and jealous. 295 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:47,123 - You used me to get back at him. - No! Well, yes. 296 00:13:47,253 --> 00:13:49,122 But it wasn't my intent, 297 00:13:49,188 --> 00:13:52,558 and it doesn't even matter 'cause he didn't believe me. 298 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:54,560 Now he just thinks I'm spreading a rumor 299 00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:56,196 that his girlfriend's a skank. 300 00:13:56,262 --> 00:14:00,300 My god! I'm never gonna get tenure! 301 00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:02,735 C.J., I'm really sorry. 302 00:14:02,802 --> 00:14:04,704 Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog! 303 00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:07,874 All right, we need a plan. Can you get a helicopter? 304 00:14:07,941 --> 00:14:10,543 No, wait. Okay, I got a better one. 305 00:14:10,609 --> 00:14:11,644 All right, okay. 306 00:14:11,711 --> 00:14:13,580 Tonight, I bring Cheryl over 307 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,315 for a little private tutoring at the house. 308 00:14:16,382 --> 00:14:19,252 You get ed, come over, hide in the dining room, 309 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:21,387 and then he can see for himself. 310 00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:23,089 What? 311 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,958 That's right. It'll take about three seconds. 312 00:14:26,025 --> 00:14:28,094 She can't wait to pimp this ride. 313 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,429 Yeah. It's a good plan. 314 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,231 Yeah, for Lucy and Ethel. 315 00:14:32,298 --> 00:14:35,034 But in the real world, people do not hide in closets 316 00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:36,903 and watch other people make out. 317 00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:39,639 Uh, yeah, they do. It's called a fraternity. 318 00:14:39,706 --> 00:14:42,408 Forget it. I'm not doing it. 319 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:43,943 You owe me! 320 00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,579 I finally got a job I like, and you ruined it for me! 321 00:14:46,645 --> 00:14:48,848 You've besmirched my name. 322 00:14:48,914 --> 00:14:52,251 And I cannot unsmirch it by myself. 323 00:14:52,318 --> 00:14:55,588 Your plan is insane. I'm not doing it. 324 00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:58,057 Fine. Forget about me. I'll bounce back. 325 00:14:58,124 --> 00:14:59,258 I have other names. 326 00:14:59,325 --> 00:15:01,761 But what about you, Cate? 327 00:15:01,828 --> 00:15:03,662 If you don't prove this to ed, 328 00:15:03,729 --> 00:15:06,799 he's gonna think you're nothing but a jealous, insecure, 329 00:15:06,866 --> 00:15:09,903 petty middle-aged woman. 330 00:15:11,504 --> 00:15:13,606 I'll have him there by 7:00. 331 00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,378 Oh, ed, I'm glad you're here. 332 00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:21,614 Not at all. I'm glad you asked me over. 333 00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:23,950 I felt really bad about this afternoon. 334 00:15:24,016 --> 00:15:26,519 Oh, yeah. Me too. I wanted to apologize. 335 00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:29,409 No need. I had no right to accuse you of being petty. 336 00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:30,368 Thank you. 337 00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:32,258 I don't know why I would say such a thing. 338 00:15:32,325 --> 00:15:36,162 You're one of the classiest, most dignified people I know. 339 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:37,596 Thanks, ed. 340 00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:41,367 And, keeping that in mind, I want to propose something 341 00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:44,871 that, on the surface, might seem a little extreme. 342 00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:47,539 But it will prove, once and for all, 343 00:15:47,606 --> 00:15:50,410 that your girlfriend is hitting on C.J. 344 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,344 Not this again! 345 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:56,015 They're on their way over here, and she's gonna make a move. 346 00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,250 And all we have to do is hide -- 347 00:15:58,317 --> 00:16:02,055 in a classy, dignified way -- and you'll see for yourself. 348 00:16:02,121 --> 00:16:04,457 I am not going to spy on my girlfriend! 349 00:16:04,524 --> 00:16:06,826 Who, by the way, is not coming over here, 350 00:16:06,893 --> 00:16:09,293 because she is out tonight with her girlfriends. 351 00:16:10,255 --> 00:16:11,689 Ohh. 352 00:16:12,082 --> 00:16:13,025 Are you sure? 353 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:15,531 Oh, my god. What is she doing here?! 354 00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:17,703 Let's go over here and find out. 355 00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:19,872 Ow! 356 00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:20,874 Mm. 357 00:16:22,942 --> 00:16:25,177 Welcome to "chateau relax-o." 358 00:16:25,244 --> 00:16:28,648 I'm so glad you asked me to come over and study. 359 00:16:28,714 --> 00:16:30,249 I was kind of hoping 360 00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:33,052 we could finish what we started last night. 361 00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:34,253 Oh, yes. 362 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,555 Sorry about that -- 363 00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,591 I usually don't get that nauseous that quickly. 364 00:16:38,658 --> 00:16:41,727 I hope you brought dramamine. I'm gonna rock your boat. 365 00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:43,663 Oh, shiver me timbers. 366 00:16:43,729 --> 00:16:45,898 What are we doing out here? Let's go in. 367 00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:50,636 It's me. I'll get it. I'll be right in. 368 00:16:50,703 --> 00:16:53,840 All right. I'll go hoist the "jolly Roger." 369 00:16:53,907 --> 00:16:55,108 Hello? 370 00:16:56,943 --> 00:16:58,511 Oh, my god. 371 00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:01,047 Oh, my god -- aunt Jane? 372 00:17:01,114 --> 00:17:03,249 That's awful. 373 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:06,185 Of course I'll fly in for the funeral. 374 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:09,489 She was my favorite aunt. 375 00:17:12,191 --> 00:17:14,694 Hey, aunt Cate. 376 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,764 If it gets a little gnarly, my safe word is "ardor." 377 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:21,100 Harbor? 378 00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,601 Ardor! 379 00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:23,969 Harder? 380 00:17:24,036 --> 00:17:28,208 Forget it. Just leave her on me. 381 00:17:28,274 --> 00:17:31,811 Hey. I was about to send out a search party. 382 00:17:31,878 --> 00:17:34,446 Now the search is over, let's party. 383 00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:37,016 C.J., maybe tonight's not a good night. 384 00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:39,618 Not good yet, but I know what will change your mind. 385 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,288 A bottle of Nevada's finest. 386 00:17:42,355 --> 00:17:43,823 C.J. -- 387 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,691 come on, you look stressed. 388 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:47,994 You need to give me a back rub. 389 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:50,095 Come on over here. I'll get started. 390 00:17:50,162 --> 00:17:51,798 Ooh, I'm tense. 391 00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:55,368 Oh, it's one of those massages. 392 00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:57,469 So this is why you invited me over -- 393 00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,705 to watch C.J. make a fool of himself? 394 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:03,242 Just give it a minute. Maybe she's slow to start. 395 00:18:03,309 --> 00:18:06,145 Does she look like she's slow to start? 396 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,747 Listen... 397 00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:11,383 I can't teach you if I can't reach you. Come here. 398 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:14,287 No, something happened. I don't want to talk about it. 399 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,389 I don't even want to think about it. 400 00:18:16,456 --> 00:18:19,158 Well, let's get your mind off of it. 401 00:18:20,593 --> 00:18:23,429 - There you go. - There's a dead ant. 402 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,499 What are you crying for? I haven't even touched you yet. 403 00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:29,168 Okay, all right! I've seen enough! 404 00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:32,104 She's not hitting on you! You're just upsetting her! 405 00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:34,173 Yes -- phase one. 406 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,675 You were spying on us? 407 00:18:35,742 --> 00:18:37,710 Cheryl, this is all my fault. 408 00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:40,579 I somehow got the impression that you were being unfaithful. 409 00:18:40,646 --> 00:18:42,014 I'm very sorry. 410 00:18:42,081 --> 00:18:44,717 It is obvious that you were not hitting on C.J. 411 00:18:44,783 --> 00:18:47,753 Well, imagine that -- Cheryl not hitting on C.J. 412 00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,056 Come on, Cheryl. We are leaving. 413 00:18:50,122 --> 00:18:51,490 No, wait. Wait. 414 00:18:51,557 --> 00:18:55,461 You know, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, 415 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:59,265 but I had every intention of cheating on you with C.J. 416 00:18:59,332 --> 00:19:00,265 What? 417 00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:02,935 Ooh, my good name is back! 418 00:19:03,002 --> 00:19:06,038 Ed, I really like you. I do. 419 00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:08,440 And the sex was copious. 420 00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:11,076 He taught me that word. 421 00:19:11,143 --> 00:19:12,678 But we don't have a future. 422 00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:14,280 You're smart and classy, 423 00:19:14,347 --> 00:19:16,716 and I lift up my shirt for mardi gras beads. 424 00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:19,585 Cheryl, I was okay with that. 425 00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:21,920 I do that. 426 00:19:21,987 --> 00:19:23,655 Look, the truth is... 427 00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:25,824 I see the way you look at Cate. 428 00:19:25,891 --> 00:19:28,728 That's the way every woman wants to be looked at. 429 00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:31,997 Not like that. 430 00:19:32,064 --> 00:19:33,499 Anyway, I'm sorry, ed. 431 00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:39,105 I'm sorry this had to end in such a...Ignominious way. 432 00:19:44,577 --> 00:19:48,014 Well, excellent use of the word. 433 00:19:49,081 --> 00:19:51,217 Listen -- 434 00:19:51,284 --> 00:19:54,853 I'll see you at school. 435 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,624 And, ed, I'm sorry, too. I was trying to protect you. 436 00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:02,061 Cate, don't apologize. It's better this way. 437 00:20:02,128 --> 00:20:07,066 I mean, what was I doing with a woman like Cheryl, anyway? 438 00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:09,268 You mean what were you doing so copiously 439 00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,837 with a woman like Cheryl? 440 00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:14,974 You know, she actually did seem like a nice person. 441 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,642 Well, she's perceptive. 442 00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:18,978 She picked up on us pretty fast. 443 00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:26,118 W-would you like some wine? 444 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,020 Nevada's finest. 445 00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:30,790 Sure, I would love some wine... 446 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:32,525 Or whatever that is. 447 00:20:32,592 --> 00:20:35,595 It's a "wine-style beverage." 448 00:20:37,096 --> 00:20:40,233 You know, I think that there is a curse for me 449 00:20:40,299 --> 00:20:41,567 in this house. 450 00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:45,170 I-it's like it doesn't like me. 451 00:20:45,237 --> 00:20:47,005 What do you mean? 452 00:20:47,072 --> 00:20:49,908 Every time I'm here, something terrible happens. 453 00:20:49,975 --> 00:20:52,979 I've been poisoned and punched and now dumped. 454 00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:56,815 Well, they say bad things happen in threes. 455 00:20:56,882 --> 00:20:58,647 Maybe the curse is over. 456 00:20:58,684 --> 00:21:00,186 Well, let's hope so. 457 00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:04,658 I gotta use the restroom. I'll be right back. 458 00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:08,961 Rory: Aah! 459 00:21:09,028 --> 00:21:10,530 Oh! 460 00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:20,206 Fours. Bad things happen in fours.