1
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,713
Don't forget this.

2
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,450
That was a present for you.

3
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,385
I don't feel comfortable
holding on to it.

4
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,787
What am I supposed
to do with it?

5
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,556
Throw it away.

6
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,292
Fine.

7
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,503
We were an "it" couple.

8
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,505
Not really.

9
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,540
Like when we'd go to parties
and there was dancing,

10
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,175
we'd start dancing
and everyone would

11
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,711
make a circle around us
and watch us dance.

12
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,147
Okay.

13
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,483
Okay, why don't you
tell me

14
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,652
what you need, shirin?

15
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,155
I need my girlfriend back.

16
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,656
Dude, I really think

17
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,326
you just need to mourn this
and move on.

18
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,328
I really want to eat
my feelings right now.

19
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,597
You know what?
I think that's an amazing idea.

20
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,500
Why don't we order
all the fatty, disgusting foods

21
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,801
we never let ourselves eat?

22
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,303
Okay.

23
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,905
Hey, girls.
How you doin' today?

24
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,174
Hey.
Fantastic.

25
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,909
And you?
Uh, what's your name?

26
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,477
Brendan.
Brendan.

27
00:02:58,479 --> 00:02:59,811
Hey, I'm crystal.

28
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,647
Hey, crystal.
What can I get you today?

29
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,814
Um, let me see.

30
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,484
I would love an...

31
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,553
Unsweetened glass
of iced tea.

32
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,954
No problem.
Thank you.

33
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,522
And can I just have one
of those complimentary mints

34
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,658
I saw by the entrance
and a glass of ice water

35
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,227
and a little bit of lemon
in there.

36
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,395
Okay.

37
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,598
Thank you so much.
Thanks, Brendan.

38
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,266
Mmm, delish.

39
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,802
Mmm, can't wait.

40
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,506
I'm dead inside.

41
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,341
Can you tell
just by looking at me

42
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,409
that I'm dead inside?

43
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,778
I really think
you had to end it.

44
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,781
I mean, she wasn't even
fucking you towards the end.

45
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,482
Maybe it was a phase.

46
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,786
Thanks, Brendan.

47
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,559
How about "giraffe"?

48
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,261
What about "safe word"?

49
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,530
Like the word "safe word"
as our safe word?

50
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,298
Let's cut out the middleman,

51
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,000
'cause what happens
if you forget your safe word?

52
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,002
Okay, then,
the safe word is "safe word."

53
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,837
Great.
Let's do this.

54
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,305
What's the scenario?

55
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,441
I'm your tax auditor.

56
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,877
Okay.

57
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,680
Miss?
Yes?

58
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:12,718
Can you please
fill out this form?

59
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,586
All right.

60
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:25,631
Miss?
Yes?

61
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,267
I've been a bad
small-business owner.

62
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,735
What seems to be
the problem?

63
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,536
I don't have
any of my receipts

64
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,772
from June until August,

65
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,275
and I'm gonna
have to be punished.

66
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:38,577
That's actually
easily remedied.

67
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,013
If you'll just fill in
the larger expenses in section c

68
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,047
and cross-check them
with section b.

69
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,315
Maxine.
What?

70
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,384
You are killing the sexy.

71
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,518
I'm just...

72
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,920
I'm not into role play.

73
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,722
That's... that's okay.

74
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,057
I'm vanilla.

75
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,425
Don't say that.

76
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,794
It true.
I'm not kinky.

77
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,462
Hey.

78
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,799
Look at me.

79
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,002
I like vanilla.

80
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,937
I'm not really in the mood.

81
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,472
I'm sorry.

82
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,442
It's okay.

83
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,360
Banal sex
shouldn't start

84
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,896
until at least a year
into a relationship.

85
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,964
I moved in too soon.

86
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,033
When are you going
back to work?

87
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,501
I'm not.

88
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,070
No!

89
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,038
The only reason they hired me
in the first place

90
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,473
is 'cause they wanted

91
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,841
a middle eastern person
on staff.

92
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,509
Now that yavah's
in editorial,

93
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,378
everyone's gushing
over how Syrian she is.

94
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,947
I'm not letting you fall
into a bottomless pit

95
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:52,517
of despair and unemployment
on my couch.

96
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,019
Nothing brings me joy.

97
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,122
Well... I think this guy
I know is hiring.

98
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,757
Let me talk to him.

99
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,891
And are you gonna go look

100
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,460
at that apartment
in bushwick later?

101
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,061
I can't. I have to
go see my parents.

102
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,030
Oh, my God!
Can I come?

103
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,665
Your dad is so hot.

104
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,667
I just want to,
like, paint him.

105
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,435
Ugh, no.

106
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,771
That is exactly
why you cannot come.

107
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,440
So, uh...

108
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,843
So, in the afternoon,
I took an appendix,

109
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,412
and I rewired it
on this kid

110
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,081
who had no control
of his own urine.

111
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,449
Stop.
Wow.

112
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,817
No, no, no,
we made him dry.

113
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,152
But now he has to pee
out of his belly button.

114
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,754
Please stop.

115
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,889
This is fascinating.
Not while we're eating.

116
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,724
Yeah, it can wait until
after, right? Okay.

117
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,792
Did you see
Ali's picture

118
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,560
of the sex-reassignment
surgery?

119
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,995
No, I didn't, 'cause
I deleted it the minute

120
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,931
I read "intestine vagina"
in the subject.

121
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,466
They're interesting pictures.
Yeah, they are.

122
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,834
Show them.
Please don't do this.

123
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,136
I don't understand why

124
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,771
he had to go
into urology.

125
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,038
It's because he loves
the penises so much.

126
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,507
Funny, dad.

127
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,608
Here you go. Check it out. Ugh!

128
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,143
Oh, my God.
What?

129
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,477
Take a look at it.
You're not even looking at it.

130
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,612
Please put that away.

131
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:54,713
I don't want to see it.

132
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,847
She doesn't want
to see it.

133
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,916
Put it away.
Okay, suit yourself.

134
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,485
Layli.
Yes?

135
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,188
Ali says that you just started
your fellowship.

136
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,923
That's right.

137
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,091
Plastic surgery.

138
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,426
Mm-hmm.

139
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,828
Isn't it weird, though?

140
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,496
Like, he's dealing

141
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,064
with life-and-death situations
every day,

142
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,934
and then you're with
these middle-aged housewives

143
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,004
with low self-esteem.

144
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,839
Layli is a pediatric

145
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,707
reconstructive
plastic surgeon.

146
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,676
I actually...
Uh, I specialize

147
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,198
in burn treatment
and skin grafting.

148
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,148
Cool.

149
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,084
I heard you are working
at "the Brooklyn paper."

150
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,553
Yeah.

151
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,121
Um, I'm actually
thinking

152
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,590
about transitioning
into another field.

153
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:39,791
So, let me get this
straight.

154
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,893
You got a masters
in journalism,

155
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,829
and now you're gonna do
Jack shit with it?

156
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,630
She can still use
her degree.

157
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,698
She's so talented.

158
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,899
Thank you.

159
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,801
She was the only freshman
in high school

160
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,837
who could swim
on the varsity team.

161
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,538
And she didn't even
take lessons.

162
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,740
Wow, that's a real
resume builder right there.

163
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,142
Yeah, this body's made
for swimming.

164
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,144
Look at these shoulders.
That's enough.

165
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,246
Thank you.
And look at those hands.

166
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,581
Please stop.
Aren't they stunning?

167
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,049
They're beautiful hands.

168
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,618
You know, you should get
into hand modeling. Ah.

169
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,130
But I just don't know
how people get started.

170
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:08,753
It's who you know.

171
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,989
A masters in journalism,
that's how you get started.

172
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,525
I would literally like to
talk about anything else.

173
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,794
Okay, how's your love life?

174
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:16,895
Any boys we should
know about?

175
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,864
No.
No boys at all.

176
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,500
Oh, thank God I don't have to
get my shotgun ready then.

177
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,002
Good one, dad.

178
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,136
Oh, God.

179
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,813
Ken?

180
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,181
Hey.
Ginny.

181
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,950
Shirin.
Shirin.

182
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,152
What is that? Libyan?
Armenian? Argentinean?

183
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,153
Iranian.

184
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,955
Oh, iranian.

185
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,625
Wow. Iran.

186
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,908
What do you think
of that whole situation?

187
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,296
It's a mixed bag.

188
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,632
A lot of very
good-intentioned people

189
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,734
dealing with some
difficult circumstances.

190
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,802
You get over there very often?
Yeah.

191
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,971
Actually, I go in the summers
to visit family. Wow.

192
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,172
Okay, so tell me,

193
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,041
what is the scene like
in tehran?

194
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,643
I just read
this big article

195
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,578
about the underground
hip-hop scene in "vice."

196
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,947
Yeah.
So, you're part of that?

197
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:13,251
No. Unfortunately, I spend
most of my time in Iran

198
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,253
watching Disney videos
with my grandmother

199
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,122
while she
untangles jewelry.

200
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,860
Yeah, I got myself
some coffee.

201
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,894
Do you want something
to drink?

202
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:23,929
No, thanks.

203
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,932
I am buzzed on skunk
right now.

204
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,099
Nice.

205
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,669
So, crystal tells me
you are an artist.

206
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,270
Yes.

207
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,939
Yeah, I am.

208
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,106
You're a video artist.

209
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,908
Mm-hmm.
Great.

210
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,677
So, I don't know
what crystal has told you,

211
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,813
but I'm looking for someone
reliable to take over

212
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,249
an afterschool
filmmaking class.

213
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,652
It's with a bunch of kids,
and they're really great

214
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,322
and so smart
and, uh, just creative.

215
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:51,856
And really,
all you have to do

216
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,258
is just show them
how to hold a camera.

217
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,026
I can do that, yeah.

218
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,828
So, what is
your schedule like?

219
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,831
Completely open.
Perfect.

220
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,100
All right, well,
may I say let's do this?

221
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,302
Okay.
Great.

222
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,004
Don't fuck me over.

223
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,739
Okay.

224
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,342
You told him
I was a filmmaker?

225
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,110
You said
you needed a job.

226
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,845
How do you know
this guy anyway?

227
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,981
He's that investment banker
in my parents' building

228
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,716
I used to hook up with
in high school.

229
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,384
Oh, my God. He's that guy.
Mm-hmm.

230
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,754
Yeah, so he lost his job,
became a stay-at-home dad,

231
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,122
and got into light drugs.

232
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,223
Good for him.

233
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,791
So, do you have
a lesson plan?

234
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,193
What is this, Germany?

235
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,394
They're park slope teens.

236
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,895
I could lock 'em in a room

237
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,130
with a half-eaten apple
and a tic tac

238
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,331
and come back
to the "Mona Lisa."

239
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,833
Wh... why are we stopping?

240
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,067
Oh, I have to take care
of something.

241
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,402
You wait out here.
No, no, no, wait.

242
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,937
Oh, please don't do this.

243
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,139
You said that no amount
of wholesale spelt Sushi

244
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,775
was worth the emotional toll
of being here.

245
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,343
She's here all the time.

246
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:49,014
They don't even offer
paper bags.

247
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:52,417
It's surprising how,
uh, lonely it gets

248
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,419
when you're single again,

249
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,954
especially when you live
with someone.

250
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,689
You get so used
to their habits

251
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,224
and their lifestyle
and their smells,

252
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,760
but, um, I really
joined the co-op

253
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,328
to spend time with her,
'cause, let's be honest,

254
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,064
it's not the most pleasant
place to work in the world.

255
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,299
But if I really want Maxine
back in my life,

256
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,235
I'm gonna have to do
whatever it takes,

257
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,370
and that means getting back
onto her co-op shift,

258
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,839
and that's
where you come in.

259
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,675
It... it says in your file

260
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,010
that you haven't worked
a shift in four months.

261
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,445
Extenuating
circumstances.

262
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,447
I've had a very
broken heart.

263
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,117
Look, all members
are entitled

264
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,153
to one free pass
after a delinquency,

265
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,155
but I cannot get you
onto her shift.

266
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,437
It's all booked.

267
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,194
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.

268
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,328
Jackie.

269
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,930
Hi, Jackie.

270
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,799
Um...

271
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:45,070
The last time I checked,
this is a cooperative.

272
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,405
Why don't you go ahead
and cooperate with me,

273
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,874
and I'll cooperate
with you.

274
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:55,280
But how do you get them
so curly?

275
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,414
Let's go.

276
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,750
It was so nice
meeting you.

277
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,735
Shirin told me
you're an artist.

278
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,436
Landscaping
or portraits?

279
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,039
I specialize in
experimental installations,

280
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,408
and Jacques is currently
focusing on sandcastle work

281
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,977
integrating
found objects.

282
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,512
We're done with the boxes.

283
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,913
I'm coming.

284
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,716
It was so nice
meeting you.

285
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,985
There's no toilet paper.

286
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,758
Hey, you guys can go.

287
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,992
I feel like I'm 17

288
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,227
and you're moving me
back into college.

289
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,163
I wish.
That dorm was much nicer.

290
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,397
This is what it is
to find a place

291
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,333
on short notice
in Brooklyn.

292
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,301
At least you have
a sexy roommate.

293
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,238
Felicia? I find her
a bit terrifying.

294
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,207
No, I'm talking about
the boy... Jacques.

295
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,443
Your new roommates
are freaks.

296
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,378
Hey, is this
how you say hello?

297
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,913
Hi.

298
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,348
Can we tell her?

299
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,516
Tell me what?

300
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,384
I'm proposing
to layli.

301
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,418
Why?

302
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,053
Hey.
Shirin.

303
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:10,355
I'm not saying
you shouldn't do it.

304
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,157
It's just...

305
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,159
He's very young.
He's 33.

306
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,060
I was only 19
when I married your father.

307
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,863
Well, this isn't the islamic
Republic of Iran, mom.

308
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,231
Do you see a hijab
on my head?

309
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,833
What is wrong with you?
Nothing.

310
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,334
You're acting like a brat.
Stop it.

311
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,369
You're bringing
a lot of negative energy

312
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,804
into my new home.

313
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,238
Oh, this is not a home.

314
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,373
This is a refugee camp.

315
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,175
Seriously,
what are you doing here?

316
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,876
You don't know what a cool
Brooklyn loft looks like.

317
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,044
I just don't understand

318
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,412
why you left
your old apartment.

319
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,981
The neighborhood
was so much better.

320
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,817
It got too expensive.

321
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,218
We would have helped you.

322
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,153
This is my new home,
and I love it.

323
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,321
Okay.

324
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,590
Ali, come.
Help me in the kitchen.

325
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,559
Okay, but I'm not
touching anything.

326
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:50,061
I'm sure the girl
who let me in has hep c.

327
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,234
Dad?
Yeah?

328
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,270
I'm worried about Ali.

329
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,572
I think he's jumping
into marriage

330
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,507
because he thinks
he has to.

331
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,010
He's got classic
older child syndrome.

332
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,079
He'll do anything
to make you and mom happy.

333
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,148
She has no goals
or aspirations.

334
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,516
She takes nothing
seriously.

335
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,617
She's becoming a loser.

336
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,152
Lower your voice.

337
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,287
She has this, like,
younger child thing.

338
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,122
I'm telling you,
you need to be on top of that.

339
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,258
You don't think
I'm doing my best?

340
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,392
She's not easy.

341
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,294
He's, like,
burying his emotions

342
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,495
deep beneath the surface,

343
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,431
and, like, one day,
he could pull a gun

344
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,966
on his coworkers.

345
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,167
I think she has
self-esteem issues.

346
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,535
Yeah, no kidding.

347
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,470
When was the last time
she had a boyfriend?

348
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,072
That Virginia tech kid

349
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:37,242
was just trying to please
his strict Korean parents.

350
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,110
It's not like she's dumb
or super unattractive.

351
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,578
I mean, she's perfectly
capable of being normal.

352
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,313
I don't want him
to find himself,

353
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,581
like, ten years from now,

354
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,050
fat, bald,
and in a loveless marriage

355
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,252
because he was
rushing to become

356
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,220
the world's best
iranian son.

357
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,056
The men in our family
don't go bald.

358
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,564
Oh, I don't need
new reading material.

359
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,199
I'm only up to book two
of the "twilight" series.

360
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,761
I'm broadening
your horizons.

361
00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:07,939
This is some
pretty serious stuff here.

362
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,374
I'm asking you to read
some books.

363
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,676
You don't need to get
your septum pierced.

364
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,278
Yet.

365
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,192
Oh, hey.

366
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,360
Um, excuse me,

367
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,695
this is actually
the Brooklyn kids

368
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,030
movie maker class.

369
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,231
I think you have
the wrong room.

370
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,232
No, this right.

371
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:37,101
I'm a movie director.

372
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,003
See you at five.

373
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:53,451
And I'm gonna poop.

374
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,486
No! Don't!

375
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,589
Kujo, could you
please hold...

376
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,124
Put down the truck
and hold the camera.

377
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,225
Stop throwing.

378
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,730
I don't think
you can fit it all.

379
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:09,233
Hey, kujo, the lens is
way too close to your butt.

380
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:51,275
Oh, you're on okcupid.

381
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,578
My taxidermist met
her husband on that site.

382
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:57,582
I'm just looking for someone
to make my girlfriend jealous.

383
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,050
We're on a break.

384
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,118
Good luck.

385
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,120
Felicia?

386
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,454
Yes?

387
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,789
You're in a long-term,

388
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,624
seemingly healthy
relationship.

389
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:10,461
Can you tell me,
how do people meet,

390
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,463
agree they like
each other,

391
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,034
and then... keep on
liking each other?

392
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,269
Shared interests?

393
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,791
Jacques and I met
at occupy Chelsea.

394
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,042
I'm gonna lie here
and try to forget

395
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,477
what it felt like
to be loved.

396
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,112
Could you please
turn off the light?

397
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,649
Feel better.
Thank you.

398
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,462
Hey.
Hi.

399
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,665
You want a cigarette?
I don't smoke.

400
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,166
Yeah, me neither.

401
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,403
What are you doing
out here?

402
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,638
Social anxiety.

403
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,807
What about you?

404
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,410
More or less the same.

405
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,278
I'm shirin.

406
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,580
Maxine.

407
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,685
It's nice to meet you.

408
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,687
I love dykes.

409
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,522
Nice.

410
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,890
I mean it.

411
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:49,293
You know that... that word
is incredibly offensive.

412
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,362
Oh, I'm bisexual,
so it's okay if I say it.

413
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,164
No, it's still offensive.

414
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,700
You know how I meant it.

415
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,169
Doesn't matter
how you meant it.

416
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,670
Tomato, to-mah-to.

417
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,707
What are you drinking?

418
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,343
I filled this water bottle
with Tequila.

419
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,711
Classy.

420
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,779
I'm drinking
with a purpose.

421
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,381
Yeah?

422
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,216
This guy
with whom I recently

423
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,753
had an unfortunate sexual
encounter showed up,

424
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,456
and now I feel
uncomfortable.

425
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,191
I just hate
the way dudes get

426
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,792
when they can't maintain
an erection.

427
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,528
What do they get like?

428
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,862
Oh, are you a gold star?

429
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,531
No, I've had sex with men,

430
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:30,201
just, um, not the kind
who go soft.

431
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,203
Touché.

432
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,538
It's the worst.

433
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,772
They shut down,

434
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,407
and they get
all mopey and offended

435
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,808
when you make jokes.

436
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,343
Yeah, it's so weird
the way men don't enjoy

437
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,812
humor at the expense
of their penises.

438
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,215
Do you want some?

439
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,550
Sure.

440
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,556
I think you're hot.

441
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,957
Thanks.

442
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,193
I know that I don't look
like I'm into girls

443
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,762
and that I was just talking
about being a boner killer,

444
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:01,732
but I am super sexy
and super into girls.

445
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,733
Really?

446
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,768
Yeah.

447
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,436
I like girls like you.

448
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:06,504
Like me?

449
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,905
You know, like, manly,

450
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,907
but also a little bit
like a lady.

451
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,510
Nice.
Thank you.

452
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,579
Um...

453
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,448
Are you having
lady problems?

454
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,650
What makes you think
I'm having lady problems?

455
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,319
Because it's
new year's Eve

456
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,387
and you're heading out
before the countdown.

457
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,755
Maybe I'm heading out

458
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,657
to meet the person
I'm gonna kiss at midnight.

459
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,292
You're gonna be
hella late

460
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,774
'cause it's like,
two minutes away.

461
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,699
What's her name?
Linda.

462
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:37,435
She sounds like a cunt.

463
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,603
We're going out
for a couple months,

464
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:39,737
and we decided
to move in together.

465
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,972
Naturally.

466
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:43,274
And four days
after I break my lease

467
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,709
and sell everything I own,

468
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,876
she tells me
she misses her ex,

469
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,245
and what the fuck
am I supposed to do

470
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,312
with that information?

471
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,880
That sucks.

472
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,483
Just having trouble dealing
with, like, Brooklyn parties

473
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,753
and everyone talking about
their kickstarter campaigns,

474
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,556
and did you see that guy
with the waxed dali mustache?

475
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,291
I mean, what the fuck
is that guy's problem?

476
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,760
Who the fuck
does he think he is?

477
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,631
I find your anger
incredibly sexy.

478
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,766
Really?

479
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,502
I hate
so many things too.

480
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:36,527
Wow.

481
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:37,662
Ken. Hi.

482
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,563
Oh! Hey, hi.
How are you?

483
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:40,698
I'm good, thank you.

484
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,867
Carrington,
this is shayla.

485
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:44,035
I'm shirin. Hi.

486
00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:45,369
Oh...

487
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:46,404
Sorry, man.
I'm stoned.

488
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:47,672
Oh, that's okay.

489
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:50,541
Want a j? No, I'm cool. Thanks.

490
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,877
Listen, um...

491
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,412
I'm a terrible teacher.

492
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,980
No.

493
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,915
Yes, I am.

494
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,717
Uh, the kids hate me.

495
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:00,918
They're a good
ten years younger

496
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,019
than I thought
they'd be,

497
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,554
and I can't get them
to listen.

498
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:04,922
You can't take it
personally, dude.

499
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,057
They're five.

500
00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:07,992
I don't know
what I'm doing.

501
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,593
I have three kids.
I don't know what<i> I'm</i> doing.

502
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:11,829
It's just fake it
'til you make it.

503
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,665
I've lost carrington,
like, what, four times?

504
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:15,947
Right, bro?

505
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,572
Just do your best, okay?

506
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:22,973
Okay.

507
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:26,377
Hey.

508
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:29,380
I believe in you, Cher.

509
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,881
Thank you.

510
00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:38,489
They have no idea
you're bisexual?

511
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:41,125
I'm sorry, what country is it
that you get stoned to death

512
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,927
if you're convicted
of being gay?

513
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:44,462
Oh, yeah.
Wait, I know.

514
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,963
It's Iran,

515
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,065
the country that my
entire family comes from.

516
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,900
You can't keep playing
the persian card

517
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:51,535
every time
we have an argument.

518
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,037
You need to see
for yourself

519
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,939
how difficult it is to be
the child of immigrants.

520
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,874
I would love to.
Great.

521
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,609
Then you're coming
to a persian new year party

522
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,878
this weekend in New Jersey.

523
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,481
Am I coming as your date?
God, no.

524
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,416
You're definitely coming
as my white friend.

525
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,659
Do you think
I have a death wish?

526
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,388
You know you're gonna
have to wear a dress.

527
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:11,422
No.

528
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:20,536
Good. Now you're gonna send 'em?
Yes.

529
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,737
It's like we just stepped
into liberace's wet dream.

530
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,873
Isn't it spectacular?

531
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,674
You know I don't like
being in enclosed spaces

532
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:32,710
where I can't detect
any visibly gay people.

533
00:23:32,712 --> 00:23:34,111
Well, I'm pretty sure
Uncle neema's harboring

534
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,914
some bi-curious
tendencies.

535
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,083
You talk to him about it?
Oh, God, no.

536
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,918
Persians communicate
mostly through gossip.

537
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,920
Shirin?

538
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,088
Oh, my God! Hi!

539
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,724
Hi!
Hi!

540
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:57,568
Maxine, this is mitra,
yassi, meenu, and yassi.

541
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,069
Guys, this is
my friend Maxine.

542
00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:00,671
Hey.

543
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:03,574
Hey. Oh, my God,
you look amazing.

544
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:06,177
Right. Next to you, I look
like a busboy from chili's.

545
00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:09,213
Oh, no way.
You're practically a model.

546
00:24:09,215 --> 00:24:10,548
Yeah, you're right.

547
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:11,916
Like a "before" model
for Accutane.

548
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:14,118
Uh, I would kill
for your height.

549
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,754
And I would sell my firstborn
for your skin.

550
00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:18,489
Stop it.

551
00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:20,458
You stop it.

552
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,460
We need to
get together more.

553
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,495
I haven't seen you since
your grandmother's funeral.

554
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:25,563
How's your father?

555
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:26,897
You know, he's okay,

556
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:28,933
but then sometimes
he'll cry out of nowhere,

557
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,835
and I'll be like,
"dad, what's going on with you?

558
00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:32,102
You're emasculating
yourself."

559
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:33,971
Oh, my God! Roya?

560
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:39,877
What just happened?

561
00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:41,045
You were in the middle
of a sentence.

562
00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:42,112
Yeah, every time
I see her,

563
00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:43,881
she compliments
the way I look,

564
00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:45,683
she asks
one personal question,

565
00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:47,985
and then she walks away
while I answer.

566
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,154
And who's she talking to now?
That's roya.

567
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,858
Her father just made a lot
of money importing samovars.

568
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,059
Let's get a drink.

569
00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,527
When are they
serving dinner?

570
00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:57,928
Midnight.

571
00:24:57,930 --> 00:24:59,063
Seriously?

572
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:00,564
God, you know,
I should have talked

573
00:25:00,566 --> 00:25:02,733
about her dad's
cosmetic dental practice.

574
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:04,201
You were being honest.

575
00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:06,704
Do you think they want you
to be honest at these things?

576
00:25:06,706 --> 00:25:08,606
Oh, get a grip.
You're a grown woman.

577
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:10,808
You've been to how many
parties in your life?

578
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:12,109
I don't know.
A lot.

579
00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:13,177
And what's the most important
part

580
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,279
of having a good
time at a party?

581
00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:17,014
Drinking.
And?

582
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,549
Dancing.

583
00:25:18,551 --> 00:25:20,618
And who's very good
at both of those things?

584
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:23,153
I am.
That's right.

585
00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:25,990
Two vodka tonics,
please.

586
00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:16,907
That was amazing.

587
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,609
I've never had so much fun
around persians before.

588
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:20,077
I'm sorry, I know you're
having a breakthrough,

589
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,745
but can you first explain
to me this fire thing?

590
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:22,846
Yeah.

591
00:26:22,848 --> 00:26:24,715
So, the Wednesday
before noruz,

592
00:26:24,717 --> 00:26:25,916
you're supposed to
jump over fire

593
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,752
to exorcise yourself
of evil spirits

594
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,254
and start the new year
fresh.

595
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:32,156
Only we're doing it now
'cause everyone had work

596
00:26:32,158 --> 00:26:33,891
and we're
half-assed iranians.

597
00:26:33,893 --> 00:26:36,894
God, it's such
a beautiful gesture.

598
00:26:36,896 --> 00:26:38,262
Ugh, you are
totally having

599
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:40,331
one of those "I'm dating
an immigrant" moments.

600
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,199
Like, "isn't learning
about other cultures

601
00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:44,268
so fun and enriching?
I feel like I'm..."

602
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:48,238
Hi.
Hi.

603
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,007
So, this is
where you've been?

604
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:51,175
Yeah.

605
00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:53,177
We just came out here.
Where were you?

606
00:26:53,179 --> 00:26:54,979
Your father got lost.

607
00:26:54,981 --> 00:26:56,647
I took the scenic route.

608
00:26:56,649 --> 00:26:58,749
That's not funny.

609
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,317
This is Maxine,
my friend.

610
00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:02,686
Maxine, meet my parents.
Hi.

611
00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:04,622
Hi, Maxine. Oh.

612
00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:08,759
Hi.

613
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,194
So, how do you
like noruz?

614
00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:12,062
I'm so sorry.
I think I left my purse inside.

615
00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:13,163
I got to go run
and get it.

616
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:14,932
I will see you
really soon.

617
00:27:14,934 --> 00:27:16,867
- Nice to meet you both.
- S

618
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:19,003
nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

619
00:28:29,274 --> 00:28:32,409
It says on your profile
that you're an artist.

620
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:35,179
Yeah, I do a
stand-up/folk music hybrid act.

621
00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:39,149
I have never heard
of that.

622
00:28:39,151 --> 00:28:42,152
Yeah, my art
defies labels.

623
00:28:42,154 --> 00:28:43,353
Sounds like it.

624
00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:44,788
Why does comedy
always have to

625
00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:46,390
be so mean and at
somebody's expense?

626
00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:47,858
I want to use my comedy

627
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,580
to bring attention
to social-justice issues.

628
00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:55,112
You're very pretty.

629
00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:57,735
Thank you.

630
00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:02,372
Why don't you get to work
on that drink?

631
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:26,864
Can I get a glass
of water?

632
00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:28,098
Come here.

633
00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,303
Closer.

634
00:29:38,543 --> 00:29:41,812
You have
really nice hair.

635
00:29:41,814 --> 00:29:42,980
Thanks.

636
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,061
You can be rough with me.

637
00:30:21,853 --> 00:30:23,821
Tell me what
you want me to do.

638
00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:27,224
Lie on the bed.

639
00:30:27,226 --> 00:30:28,826
Okay.

640
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:31,121
Fuck!
Could you put these on?

641
00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:33,123
What? You're... you're the one
who wanted weed.

642
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:34,524
Well, I reek of sex.

643
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,360
It's gonna trigger
the drug dealer's brain

644
00:31:36,362 --> 00:31:38,462
to call in
his rapist brain.

645
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,984
You're lucky
I veer macho.

646
00:31:42,333 --> 00:31:44,101
Thank you.

647
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:33,350
You're amazing.

648
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,666
Ladies first.

649
00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:07,317
I'm not so good at
smoking weed around people.

650
00:33:11,289 --> 00:33:13,357
Can't hold my thoughts still
long enough to think them.

651
00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:15,325
I have to chase them.

652
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:16,693
I know what you mean.

653
00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:18,428
The other day,
I had a really good idea

654
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:21,198
for a children's book
while I was smoking weed,

655
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,367
and now I have no idea
what it was.

656
00:33:23,369 --> 00:33:25,689
Keep smoking.
You'll get it back.

657
00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:32,109
Have you ever seen that episode
of "sex and the city"

658
00:33:32,111 --> 00:33:34,711
where Carrie has to pitch
a book for children

659
00:33:34,713 --> 00:33:36,146
and she pitches
this idea

660
00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:37,647
about a little girl
with magic cigarettes?

661
00:33:37,649 --> 00:33:39,149
And it's really funny.

662
00:33:39,151 --> 00:33:40,784
I hate
"sex and the city."

663
00:33:40,786 --> 00:33:42,185
Yeah, but you
have to admit

664
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:44,521
it's pretty fucking
entertaining.

665
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,023
I think it's boring.

666
00:33:46,025 --> 00:33:48,458
Who the fuck
do you think you are?

667
00:33:50,328 --> 00:33:52,496
Oh, my God, are you
into "lord of the rings"?

668
00:33:52,498 --> 00:33:54,297
You know,
the older my dad gets,

669
00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:56,699
the more he looks like gollum
from "lord of the rings."

670
00:33:57,669 --> 00:34:00,337
My dad, he's always
making the worst jokes,

671
00:34:00,339 --> 00:34:03,373
but then this one time
he lost his wedding ring,

672
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:04,574
and he was like...

673
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:06,676
"I need my precious."

674
00:34:06,678 --> 00:34:09,346
And was literally the funniest
thing I'd ever heard.

675
00:34:09,348 --> 00:34:11,348
When I went to see
the film "precious,"

676
00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:13,483
there was a mentally handicapped
guy sitting next to me,

677
00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:15,152
and he put his hand on my lap
during the movie,

678
00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:17,474
and it really
freaked me out.

679
00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:19,823
That's horrible.

680
00:34:19,825 --> 00:34:22,292
Don't make fun of me.
This is serious.

681
00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:23,693
You're right, it's very serious,
and I cannot believe

682
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:25,562
that lifetime has not made
the movie version

683
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,831
of the time some dude
felt you up at the movies.

684
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:29,399
You're such a jerk.

685
00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,101
You love it.

686
00:34:31,103 --> 00:34:32,602
Shirin.
Yeah?

687
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,372
We're the same kind
of stoned person.

688
00:34:35,374 --> 00:34:38,075
That is so beautiful.
No homo.

689
00:34:38,077 --> 00:34:39,476
What do you mean,
"no homo"?

690
00:34:39,478 --> 00:34:41,078
Oh, you don't know
what "no homo" is?

691
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,380
Okay, so "no homo"
is this thing

692
00:34:43,382 --> 00:34:44,681
that rappers say
to each other

693
00:34:44,683 --> 00:34:46,716
to, like, nullify
the gayness of their words.

694
00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:48,385
They could be like,

695
00:34:48,387 --> 00:34:50,687
"those are some really fly
jeans, man. No homo."

696
00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:52,789
Or "your song touched me.
No homo."

697
00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,558
Like "I like the way
your dick tastes in my mouth.

698
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,692
No homo."

699
00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:58,829
Exactly.

700
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:11,246
I feel really lucky
to have met you.

701
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,111
No homo?
Homo.

702
00:35:21,285 --> 00:35:22,752
I love how none
of your white shirts

703
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:24,621
get those really
annoying pit stains

704
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,623
that mine always do.

705
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,658
I love that you
noticed that.

706
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,305
I have something
on my mind,

707
00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:43,874
but it feels too scary
to say out loud.

708
00:35:43,876 --> 00:35:45,408
Say it.

709
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:46,776
Do you have anything
on your mind?

710
00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:49,312
Maybe.
What?

711
00:35:49,314 --> 00:35:50,714
Don't be a pussy.

712
00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,550
Okay, let's say it
at the same time

713
00:35:53,552 --> 00:35:55,252
on the count
of three.

714
00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:57,921
One...

715
00:35:57,923 --> 00:35:59,456
Two...
Two...

716
00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:00,757
I'm falling in love
with you.

717
00:36:00,759 --> 00:36:02,893
I'm thinking of
transitioning into a man.

718
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,902
Of course I'm falling
in love with you.

719
00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:42,399
Hi, everyone.
I'd like to welcome you all

720
00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:43,733
to "with justice for some,"

721
00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:45,602
where we look at
the criminal justice system

722
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:48,371
and its bias against
the queer community.

723
00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:50,574
Now if any of you are here
for the dyke knitting circle,

724
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:53,243
it's been moved to babeland
on rivington.

725
00:36:56,747 --> 00:36:59,916
Um, we have some copies
of the case study

726
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:01,618
to go around,
so please take one

727
00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:03,940
if you don't have
it already.

728
00:37:06,924 --> 00:37:08,258
What are you doing here?

729
00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:09,859
Oh, hey.

730
00:37:09,861 --> 00:37:11,728
You're not the only one
who cares about gay rights.

731
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:13,597
This is my event.
I marked it on the calendar.

732
00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:14,764
Hey, guys,
let's hold the side talk

733
00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:15,966
until after the discussion.

734
00:37:15,968 --> 00:37:17,801
Sorry.

735
00:37:17,803 --> 00:37:19,769
Why don't we start by
introducing ourselves, hmm?

736
00:37:19,771 --> 00:37:23,740
I am Sasha, and I am
a law Professor at nyu.

737
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,942
Hi, I'm Morgan.
I'm an intern at queer aid.

738
00:37:25,944 --> 00:37:27,544
Maxine.

739
00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:28,545
What?

740
00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:29,613
Is that shirt new?

741
00:37:29,615 --> 00:37:32,015
Yes.

742
00:37:32,017 --> 00:37:33,950
It looks really
good on you.

743
00:37:33,952 --> 00:37:36,419
I'm Joseph Henderson,
and I'm extremely

744
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:38,788
disappointed with the reading
material you've provided.

745
00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:41,024
Absolutely no reference
to crime against nature laws.

746
00:37:41,026 --> 00:37:43,267
It's weird seeing you in
something I don't remember.

747
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:45,862
True, um, this reading
doesn't refer to...

748
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:48,298
I was arrested at 18
for having consensual sex

749
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:49,599
with my 16-year-old boyfriend.

750
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:51,368
I spent four years
in jail,

751
00:37:51,370 --> 00:37:52,702
and afterwards forced to
register is a sex offender.

752
00:37:52,704 --> 00:37:53,770
What are you doing later?

753
00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:55,305
Going home.

754
00:37:55,307 --> 00:37:57,374
Remember when that
was my home, too?

755
00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:58,475
Please don't do this.

756
00:37:58,477 --> 00:37:59,776
I'm a sex offender.

757
00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:03,313
Every town I move to,
every job I apply for...

758
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:04,848
My life is ruined.

759
00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:06,850
Have a drink
with me later?

760
00:38:06,852 --> 00:38:07,884
No.

761
00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:09,619
I just want to talk.
No!

762
00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:11,021
And I thought
we were going to be

763
00:38:11,023 --> 00:38:14,557
talking about marginalized
women here today.

764
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,396
Yes.

765
00:38:19,398 --> 00:38:20,630
My name is shirin.

766
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:26,303
I am an iranian
bisexual teacher,

767
00:38:26,305 --> 00:38:28,705
and I would like to take
you out for a drink.

768
00:38:30,074 --> 00:38:31,341
N... now?

769
00:38:31,343 --> 00:38:32,542
Right after this.

770
00:38:32,544 --> 00:38:34,825
I would like
to buy you a drink.

771
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:37,881
Um...

772
00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:41,785
Each frame is a picture.

773
00:38:41,787 --> 00:38:43,620
That's what you
call it, a frame.

774
00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:47,457
And, uh, when you want
to have the candy move,

775
00:38:47,459 --> 00:38:49,959
you're gonna take a picture
of it where it is,

776
00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:51,828
move it very,
very slightly,

777
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,797
and then to
the next place,

778
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:55,932
and then you take a picture
and you have it there,

779
00:38:55,934 --> 00:38:57,100
and then move it
a little bit...

780
00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:58,868
He took it!
Do not eat those.

781
00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:00,670
Those are for
the stop-motion animation.

782
00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:02,105
Just one.

783
00:39:02,107 --> 00:39:04,341
You just shoved like 40
into your mouth at once.

784
00:39:04,343 --> 00:39:05,542
I get 40, too.

785
00:39:05,544 --> 00:39:06,876
Me, too!

786
00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:08,878
I need to go to the bathroom.
Me, too!

787
00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:12,515
Are you old enough to go
on your own?

788
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:13,683
I don't know.

789
00:39:15,453 --> 00:39:17,354
All right, wait here.

790
00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:23,126
All right, first shot
of the day.

791
00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:25,395
We have the flocks of birds
swarm into frame,

792
00:39:25,397 --> 00:39:26,663
evil-looking ravens and gulls.

793
00:39:26,665 --> 00:39:28,798
How's that looking,
art department?

794
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:29,999
Excellent.
And sound?

795
00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:31,401
Is everything set?

796
00:39:32,471 --> 00:39:34,070
Hi.
Sorry to interrupt.

797
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:35,672
Not a problem.

798
00:39:35,674 --> 00:39:37,073
We were just prepping
for today's shoot.

799
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:38,842
Gracie, would you mind, uh,

800
00:39:38,844 --> 00:39:41,378
briefing our guest
on today's project?

801
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:43,146
We're doing
a shot-for-shot remake

802
00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:46,015
of a scene from
"the birds."

803
00:39:48,018 --> 00:39:51,888
I'm shirin.
I teach across the hall.

804
00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:54,758
Hi, I'm Tibet.
This is the advanced class.

805
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,493
I have a real quick
question for you.

806
00:39:56,495 --> 00:39:57,727
Yes?

807
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:59,696
So, yeah, my kids
are real young,

808
00:39:59,698 --> 00:40:01,831
like five years old,
and one of them needs

809
00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:03,400
to use the bathroom.

810
00:40:03,402 --> 00:40:05,168
Yes?

811
00:40:05,170 --> 00:40:08,037
Well, do I have to go in
with him, or is that pervy?

812
00:40:08,039 --> 00:40:09,472
Are you serious?

813
00:40:09,474 --> 00:40:11,007
Yes.

814
00:40:11,009 --> 00:40:13,042
Just stand behind the door
and ask if he needs help.

815
00:40:13,044 --> 00:40:14,577
Oh.

816
00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:16,546
Okay, thanks.

817
00:40:16,548 --> 00:40:19,582
Not a problem,
my friend.

818
00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:22,152
Have we met before?

819
00:40:22,154 --> 00:40:24,621
I don't think so.
I used to be a hair model,

820
00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:27,991
so you might recognize me
from that.

821
00:40:27,993 --> 00:40:29,125
Yeah, that's probably it.

822
00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:31,027
Thank you.

823
00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:34,864
All right, second shot
of the day.

824
00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:36,766
We have, "she is trapped
in the phone booth

825
00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,601
and the birds are
flying in to attack her."

826
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,570
Hair and makeup for that,
how are you doing?

827
00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:43,440
Thank you so much for coming
all the way out to Brooklyn.

828
00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:45,742
It is so nice that you finally
got to see the place.

829
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,710
Well, the rug looks
quite nice in here.

830
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:48,711
Thank you.

831
00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:50,480
Why is there only one bed?

832
00:40:50,482 --> 00:40:53,650
It's European
and thrifty.

833
00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:55,018
There's a lot
of benefits.

834
00:40:55,020 --> 00:40:57,153
And how...
How's that European?

835
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:58,922
I have an Italian friend
named Cecilia,

836
00:40:58,924 --> 00:41:01,191
and she her
best friend, uh,

837
00:41:01,193 --> 00:41:03,126
shared one bed
for years,

838
00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,694
and they saved
so much money on rent

839
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,029
that they were
able to afford

840
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,471
very big weddings
to their boyfriends.

841
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:11,201
Do you have a boyfriend,
Maxine?

842
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:15,004
No, I don't.

843
00:41:15,006 --> 00:41:16,906
Also, in
the movie "beaches,"

844
00:41:16,908 --> 00:41:19,609
these two best friends
shared a bed,

845
00:41:19,611 --> 00:41:22,051
and it was very
inexpensive.

846
00:41:25,916 --> 00:41:27,884
So, thank you
so much for coming.

847
00:41:27,886 --> 00:41:29,619
Nice to see you
both again.

848
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:30,787
Well, bye, girls.

849
00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:31,855
Bye.

850
00:41:31,857 --> 00:41:33,256
Let me walk you out.

851
00:41:40,564 --> 00:41:42,999
Oh, my God.

852
00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:46,002
You...
You're an angel.

853
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:47,904
You have to tell them
about us.

854
00:41:47,906 --> 00:41:49,639
I know.

855
00:41:50,942 --> 00:41:52,642
Yes?

856
00:41:52,644 --> 00:41:55,011
Hi.
Hey.

857
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:56,746
Crystal, did you
see my parents?

858
00:41:56,748 --> 00:41:59,182
Oh, yeah, we just
passed in the hall.

859
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,650
Hey, Maxine.

860
00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:03,786
Hi.

861
00:42:03,788 --> 00:42:05,622
Mmm, don't mind her.

862
00:42:05,624 --> 00:42:07,757
She's upset 'cause
I'm not out to my parents.

863
00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:10,994
Oh, well, you guys live
in a one-bedroom apartment.

864
00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:12,762
I'm pretty sure they know.

865
00:42:12,764 --> 00:42:16,065
Don't ask, don't tell.

866
00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:17,800
You know what?

867
00:42:17,802 --> 00:42:20,970
It's a process,
and I'm working on it.

868
00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:25,041
Okay, we should
probably leave.

869
00:42:26,977 --> 00:42:27,944
Think I'm gonna bow out.

870
00:42:30,147 --> 00:42:32,048
Maxine, you promised
you'd go.

871
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:33,650
Crystal's a friend
who's gonna dress up

872
00:42:33,652 --> 00:42:35,818
like a farm animal
and touch herself, come.

873
00:42:35,820 --> 00:42:38,054
I can't handle
an art show right now.

874
00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:42,559
Okay.

875
00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:45,695
I love you.

876
00:42:45,697 --> 00:42:46,696
Bye.

877
00:42:46,698 --> 00:42:48,831
Bye.

878
00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:51,935
Bye, Maxine.
Bye.

879
00:43:03,681 --> 00:43:06,883
Thank you so much for
accepting my invitation.

880
00:43:06,885 --> 00:43:10,253
Well, I couldn't have refused
even if I wanted to.

881
00:43:10,255 --> 00:43:11,921
All those people.

882
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:13,656
You're right.

883
00:43:13,658 --> 00:43:16,659
I will invite them all
to our wedding.

884
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,832
Um, what are you drinking?

885
00:43:22,834 --> 00:43:24,033
It's kind of like
an old fashioned.

886
00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:25,768
Want to try it?

887
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:26,936
Yeah.

888
00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,871
You know, I can um,
tie a cherry stem

889
00:43:28,873 --> 00:43:30,673
into a knot
with my tongue.

890
00:43:30,675 --> 00:43:32,175
Real...

891
00:43:37,181 --> 00:43:40,183
Um...

892
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,187
Yeah,
that's a good look.

893
00:43:44,189 --> 00:43:46,623
Thank you.
I feel very sexy.

894
00:43:46,625 --> 00:43:49,792
I'm surprised by how
quickly they sprung into action.

895
00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:51,094
It's almost as if
they expected me

896
00:43:51,096 --> 00:43:52,895
to make a huge mess.

897
00:43:52,897 --> 00:43:55,298
Oh, it sounds like you have
a conspiracy on your hands.

898
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:56,766
Yes, I do.

899
00:43:56,768 --> 00:43:59,902
This is not a case of me
being a clumsy oaf.

900
00:43:59,904 --> 00:44:02,105
I am a victim
of a larger force.

901
00:44:02,107 --> 00:44:03,806
The bar and alcohol
industry.

902
00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:05,241
Yes.
Out to get you.

903
00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:08,144
Yes, 'cause they need a girl
like me to, you know,

904
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,413
humiliate herself, so that
the other patrons

905
00:44:10,415 --> 00:44:12,348
can feel
more confident.

906
00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:13,683
Yeah, 'cause they get
to go home

907
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:16,152
with a drink and a show.
Yeah.

908
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:17,987
Okay.

909
00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:21,758
Are you horrified?

910
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,660
Is this like the most
embarrassing thing

911
00:44:23,662 --> 00:44:24,894
you've ever witnessed?

912
00:44:24,896 --> 00:44:27,997
I don't embarrass easily.

913
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:31,401
I like that.

914
00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:37,807
It's getting late.

915
00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:40,343
Yeah.

916
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,778
Do you want to see my place?

917
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:44,047
I live with this woman
who may or may not

918
00:44:44,049 --> 00:44:46,015
be practicing witchcraft.

919
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:49,419
I'd love to introduce you.

920
00:44:52,222 --> 00:44:53,890
Can I take a rain check?

921
00:44:53,892 --> 00:44:56,859
Yeah, sure, of course.

922
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,395
Um... get the check, please?

923
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:06,969
This is on me, literally
and metaphorically.

924
00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:08,137
No, don't worry about it.

925
00:45:08,139 --> 00:45:09,906
No, I said I got it.

926
00:45:09,908 --> 00:45:10,973
I got...
I got this one.

927
00:45:10,975 --> 00:45:12,008
Thank you.

928
00:45:12,010 --> 00:45:14,010
No, I've...
Look, I got it.

929
00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:16,979
I said I got it.
I'm not taking this back.

930
00:45:16,981 --> 00:45:20,049
I invited you out.

931
00:45:23,420 --> 00:45:24,787
Okay.

932
00:45:26,090 --> 00:45:27,990
What train you taking home?

933
00:45:27,992 --> 00:45:30,727
Actually, I'm gonna stay
and use the bathroom.

934
00:45:30,729 --> 00:45:32,161
You should just go.
No, I'll wait.

935
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:34,330
No, it's okay.
Just go.

936
00:45:34,332 --> 00:45:37,734
You are stubborn.

937
00:45:37,736 --> 00:45:39,469
Yeah.

938
00:45:43,373 --> 00:45:45,174
Thanks for coming out
with me.

939
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:48,077
Well, thank you
for asking me.

940
00:45:50,848 --> 00:45:52,348
Okay, bye.

941
00:45:52,350 --> 00:45:54,817
Bye.

942
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,400
Hi.

943
00:46:11,402 --> 00:46:15,872
Um, can I have the cheapest red
you've got?

944
00:46:28,919 --> 00:46:30,853
Thank you.

945
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:58,548
Can I ask what
you're having?

946
00:46:58,550 --> 00:47:02,251
The cheapest red they had.

947
00:47:02,253 --> 00:47:04,120
How is it?

948
00:47:04,122 --> 00:47:06,522
Alcoholic.

949
00:47:06,524 --> 00:47:09,058
With an oaky finish.

950
00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:11,527
Sounds good.

951
00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:14,063
Sorry, I'm not well-versed
in wine talk.

952
00:47:14,065 --> 00:47:16,032
"Oaky finish" was
a nice touch.

953
00:47:16,034 --> 00:47:19,435
Thanks.

954
00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:21,337
I'm Ted.
Shirin.

955
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:23,873
Shirin. Hi.
Hi.

956
00:47:23,875 --> 00:47:25,474
Um, do you live around here?

957
00:47:25,476 --> 00:47:27,376
Hi.

958
00:47:27,378 --> 00:47:28,845
Oh, hey,
who's your friend?

959
00:47:28,847 --> 00:47:30,313
This is shirin.

960
00:47:30,315 --> 00:47:32,014
Shirin, I'm Marie.

961
00:47:32,016 --> 00:47:34,617
Hi.

962
00:47:34,619 --> 00:47:37,553
Yeah, we uh, live a few blocks
from here, actually.

963
00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:39,488
Mm-hm.
Cool.

964
00:47:39,490 --> 00:47:42,859
Hey, do you want to come
sit with us?

965
00:47:42,861 --> 00:47:45,895
Okay.

966
00:47:45,897 --> 00:47:48,364
I'm like one bad romantic
encounter away

967
00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:50,600
from moving to France
and changing my identity.

968
00:47:50,602 --> 00:47:52,168
Hmm.

969
00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:53,369
Do you want an olive?

970
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:54,871
No, I'm okay.

971
00:47:54,873 --> 00:47:56,372
But maybe I should go to,
like,

972
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:59,041
a less glamorous place, like
Slovenia or something,

973
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,110
where my chances of popularity
would be greater.

974
00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:04,113
Hmm.
They're really good.

975
00:48:04,115 --> 00:48:05,581
I'm okay.

976
00:48:05,583 --> 00:48:08,084
Would you like some wine?
Yeah.

977
00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:11,153
Why are you giggling?

978
00:48:11,155 --> 00:48:13,522
I'm just...
I've been plotting on how

979
00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:15,324
to get you eat
one of these olives,

980
00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:18,060
because they're
covered in garlic,

981
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:21,330
and we've already had some.

982
00:48:21,332 --> 00:48:24,233
Oh.

983
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:27,970
I guess it's sort of an all
or nothing kind of thing.

984
00:48:33,677 --> 00:48:35,544
Problem solved.

985
00:49:07,477 --> 00:49:10,313
You should show her
your latex outfit.

986
00:49:10,315 --> 00:49:12,581
You have a latex outfit?

987
00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:15,584
Yeah. Yeah, I have to
oil up to put it on.

988
00:49:15,586 --> 00:49:18,054
Wow.
Yeah, please put that on.

989
00:49:18,056 --> 00:49:19,555
Oh.

990
00:49:19,557 --> 00:49:21,557
Thanks.

991
00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:26,361
Drink?
Yeah.

992
00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:32,001
Um, so in what situation does
a person find themselves

993
00:49:32,003 --> 00:49:34,070
in need of latex outfit?

994
00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:36,072
Burlesque shows,
play parties,

995
00:49:36,074 --> 00:49:37,606
all kinds of places,
really.

996
00:49:37,608 --> 00:49:39,275
Ah.

997
00:49:39,277 --> 00:49:43,312
Um, okay, but...
But here's my question.

998
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:45,247
Why do the women
have to dress up

999
00:49:45,249 --> 00:49:46,549
like slutty cupcakes?

1000
00:49:46,551 --> 00:49:48,217
What about the dudes?

1001
00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:52,088
Well, I have
a latex outfit, too.

1002
00:49:54,292 --> 00:49:56,659
That's sounds horrible.

1003
00:49:56,661 --> 00:49:58,527
Oh, it's really cute.

1004
00:49:58,529 --> 00:50:01,764
I'll have to take
your word on that one.

1005
00:50:16,613 --> 00:50:18,047
Thanks.

1006
00:50:19,616 --> 00:50:21,177
Cheers.
Cheers.

1007
00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:16,225
Are you okay?

1008
00:53:18,895 --> 00:53:20,462
Yeah.

1009
00:53:20,464 --> 00:53:23,365
I'm sorry, I... I just got
a little in my head

1010
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:25,968
for a minute.

1011
00:53:25,970 --> 00:53:28,437
No, it's... it's okay.

1012
00:53:28,439 --> 00:53:31,707
It's okay.

1013
00:53:31,709 --> 00:53:37,513
So this is my first time
doing this.

1014
00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:41,884
Well, we can take it slow.

1015
00:53:41,886 --> 00:53:44,653
Thank you.

1016
00:53:53,330 --> 00:53:55,664
I like you.

1017
00:53:55,666 --> 00:53:57,233
A lot.

1018
00:53:58,703 --> 00:54:01,604
Thank you.
I like you, too.

1019
00:54:03,306 --> 00:54:05,741
You know what?
We don't have to fuck.

1020
00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:08,244
You know,
we can just hang out,

1021
00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:10,246
play monopoly or something.

1022
00:54:10,248 --> 00:54:13,482
That actually sounds
like a lot of fun.

1023
00:54:13,484 --> 00:54:15,918
Great.
I have the clue version.

1024
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,253
Oh.
Yeah.

1025
00:54:17,255 --> 00:54:18,487
That's really cool.
Yeah.

1026
00:54:18,489 --> 00:54:20,356
It's awesome.

1027
00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:24,326
Honey.

1028
00:54:24,328 --> 00:54:26,462
You two can stay as you are.

1029
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:32,568
Um, I should get dressed.

1030
00:54:32,570 --> 00:54:34,436
No, don't.

1031
00:54:36,473 --> 00:54:41,343
It's okay.
Um, I sh... I should go.

1032
00:54:41,345 --> 00:54:43,512
No, no.

1033
00:54:43,514 --> 00:54:45,755
Ted, Ted,
tell her to stay.

1034
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:18,380
Thanks.

1035
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:22,618
I really don't want this
to be the last time

1036
00:55:22,620 --> 00:55:24,353
that we see each other.

1037
00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:28,691
Me, neither.

1038
00:56:34,658 --> 00:56:36,558
How come no one said
you had to come dressed

1039
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,894
as one of your favorite characters
from "the little rascals"?

1040
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,130
That's the great thing
about pride.

1041
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:45,968
People here look like they
didn't go to college.

1042
00:56:45,970 --> 00:56:48,470
Your attitude is really
pissing me off.

1043
00:56:48,472 --> 00:56:51,740
Sorry.

1044
00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:54,476
Did you see the drag queen?
That's my friend.

1045
00:56:54,478 --> 00:56:56,412
How come the only aspect
of gay culture

1046
00:56:56,414 --> 00:56:57,713
that's okay with you
is drag?

1047
00:56:57,715 --> 00:57:00,816
Hey, what am I good at?

1048
00:57:00,818 --> 00:57:02,017
I don't know, what?

1049
00:57:02,019 --> 00:57:04,119
Drinking and dancing,
remember?

1050
00:57:04,121 --> 00:57:05,954
Let's have fun.

1051
00:57:05,956 --> 00:57:08,957
Fine.
Kiss me.

1052
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:11,193
Two vodka red bulls,
please.

1053
00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:21,203
Thank you.
Thanks.

1054
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:31,980
Aah.

1055
00:57:34,217 --> 00:57:35,918
Can I get another one?

1056
00:57:48,932 --> 00:57:51,467
You havin' fun?

1057
00:57:51,469 --> 00:57:53,702
Sure.

1058
00:57:53,704 --> 00:57:56,939
Look, before you ask, no,
I'm not an f to m transsexual.

1059
00:57:56,941 --> 00:57:58,841
Uh, sorry to disappoint.

1060
00:57:58,843 --> 00:58:00,642
What are you doing here?

1061
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,845
My sister and I made a bet.

1062
00:58:02,847 --> 00:58:04,847
I'm guessing she won?

1063
00:58:04,849 --> 00:58:07,216
Ah... correct.

1064
00:58:07,218 --> 00:58:08,917
I'm Maxine.

1065
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:10,686
George.

1066
00:58:10,688 --> 00:58:13,121
Nice to meet you.

1067
00:58:58,067 --> 00:59:00,202
I can see you.

1068
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,874
Shirin, stop.
Fuck you.

1069
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,209
I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened.

1070
00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:08,710
What the fuck?
He's a man.

1071
00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:10,245
It was like kissing
a baby.

1072
00:59:10,247 --> 00:59:11,313
What?

1073
00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:14,016
It's just like lips touching.

1074
00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,117
I hate you so much
when you're drinking.

1075
00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:16,685
I'm so...
Do not touch me.

1076
00:59:16,687 --> 00:59:18,186
Whoa.
Are you okay?

1077
00:59:18,188 --> 00:59:20,556
You shoved me off,
like, really violently.

1078
00:59:20,558 --> 00:59:21,890
You cheated on me.

1079
00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:23,692
You hit me.

1080
00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:26,161
I feel sick.

1081
00:59:27,664 --> 00:59:29,565
Please don't cry.

1082
00:59:29,567 --> 00:59:30,966
Don't.

1083
00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,001
I'm sorry.
You have to forgive me.

1084
00:59:33,003 --> 00:59:35,103
Who is he?

1085
00:59:35,105 --> 00:59:36,972
Just some guy at the bar.
We were just drinking.

1086
00:59:36,974 --> 00:59:39,808
And you were like,
"want to kiss a lesbian?"

1087
00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:40,976
It only lasted a second.

1088
00:59:40,978 --> 00:59:42,911
I was watching you.
It was<i> forever.</i>

1089
00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:45,881
Hey.
I am sorry.

1090
00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:47,616
You have to forgive me.

1091
01:00:04,334 --> 01:00:07,903
Who spends $300
on a garter belt?

1092
01:00:07,905 --> 01:00:09,838
May I help you?
Uh, we're just looking.

1093
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,139
Actually, yes.

1094
01:00:11,141 --> 01:00:13,842
Um, I'm looking for
the grown-up underwear

1095
01:00:13,844 --> 01:00:16,111
of a woman in charge
of her sexuality

1096
01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:17,379
and not afraid of change.

1097
01:00:17,381 --> 01:00:19,648
I've got that.

1098
01:00:21,384 --> 01:00:25,220
This just came in
from France.

1099
01:00:25,222 --> 01:00:26,989
It's a bit pink.

1100
01:00:26,991 --> 01:00:28,357
Well, why don't you
try it on for yourself?

1101
01:00:28,359 --> 01:00:29,725
Let me know what you need,

1102
01:00:29,727 --> 01:00:31,059
and I'll get a room ready
for you.

1103
01:00:31,061 --> 01:00:32,761
I actually need to stock up
on panties.

1104
01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:35,697
My ex-girlfriend
uh, cut up most of mine,

1105
01:00:35,699 --> 01:00:37,399
so I'm gonna need more.

1106
01:00:37,401 --> 01:00:40,068
What about bras?
I don't wear those.

1107
01:00:40,070 --> 01:00:41,670
Why not?

1108
01:00:41,672 --> 01:00:42,838
Just don't have that much
to work with,

1109
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,373
so it feels
a little silly.

1110
01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,842
You know, like when
little girls carry purses.

1111
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:48,377
What's your name?

1112
01:00:48,379 --> 01:00:49,411
Shirin.

1113
01:00:49,413 --> 01:00:51,079
Shirin.

1114
01:00:51,081 --> 01:00:52,714
You are a woman,
and you have breasts,

1115
01:00:52,716 --> 01:00:54,216
and there's nothing wrong
with them.

1116
01:00:54,218 --> 01:00:56,918
Yeah, I know.

1117
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,387
You deserve a sexy,
supportive bra,

1118
01:00:58,389 --> 01:00:59,821
just like any other
woman.

1119
01:00:59,823 --> 01:01:01,957
Okay.

1120
01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:03,659
You were with a woman
for how long,

1121
01:01:03,661 --> 01:01:05,260
and she didn't help you
find the right bra?

1122
01:01:05,262 --> 01:01:07,295
A while.

1123
01:01:07,297 --> 01:01:09,264
Well, it sounds like your ex...
What's her name?

1124
01:01:09,266 --> 01:01:10,999
Maxine.

1125
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:13,301
Sounds like Maxine was
destructive to your panties

1126
01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:15,303
and your self-esteem.
I'm so sorry.

1127
01:01:15,305 --> 01:01:16,905
Is this really necessary?

1128
01:01:16,907 --> 01:01:19,141
I'm fine.
I ju... I just need underwear.

1129
01:01:19,143 --> 01:01:20,776
Just because your breasts
are small

1130
01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:22,310
doesn't mean
they're not legitimate.

1131
01:01:22,312 --> 01:01:25,247
I know.

1132
01:01:25,249 --> 01:01:27,683
It's okay to be angry.
Oh, my God.

1133
01:01:27,685 --> 01:01:30,052
Let's try that on.

1134
01:01:30,054 --> 01:01:32,821
You know, it's like I didn't
think I deserved a bra,

1135
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:35,390
because I don't see myself
as a real woman.

1136
01:01:35,392 --> 01:01:37,325
It's about more than
just fabric.

1137
01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:39,695
Yeah, and I've been wearing
bikini bottoms for months.

1138
01:01:39,697 --> 01:01:41,396
Well, that's basically
inviting people

1139
01:01:41,398 --> 01:01:43,331
who don't respect you
into your bedroom.

1140
01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:45,333
That's exactly what I did,
and now I'm like seeing her

1141
01:01:45,335 --> 01:01:46,968
at a party on Saturday,

1142
01:01:46,970 --> 01:01:48,937
and how do I expect anyone
to take me seriously

1143
01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,439
if I am not wearing a bra?

1144
01:01:50,441 --> 01:01:51,840
I take you seriously.

1145
01:01:51,842 --> 01:01:53,341
That doesn't count.

1146
01:02:18,367 --> 01:02:20,736
Stunning.

1147
01:02:35,785 --> 01:02:38,019
God, I hate your friends.

1148
01:02:38,021 --> 01:02:39,254
My friends are my family.

1149
01:02:39,256 --> 01:02:41,189
You don't know what
that's like,

1150
01:02:41,191 --> 01:02:42,958
to have to choose your own family
because the one you were born into...

1151
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,861
Oh, come on, enough of this
lesbian orphan propaganda.

1152
01:02:45,863 --> 01:02:47,462
You know, we're all born
into shit families.

1153
01:02:47,464 --> 01:02:49,531
We deal with it.
What is your problem?

1154
01:02:49,533 --> 01:02:52,434
My problem is I haven't been
fucked in like three weeks.

1155
01:02:52,436 --> 01:02:54,302
I am not gonna talk
about this on my birthday.

1156
01:02:54,304 --> 01:02:55,937
On your birthday?
What are you, eight?

1157
01:02:55,939 --> 01:02:58,340
So you happened to be born.
Big fucking deal.

1158
01:02:58,342 --> 01:03:00,408
Oh, I'm sorry, all attention
must revolve around you

1159
01:03:00,410 --> 01:03:01,977
100% of the time.
I forgot.

1160
01:03:01,979 --> 01:03:03,945
No, that's not true.
I'm not like that.

1161
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,782
I don't know why I get so shocked
when you do shit like this.

1162
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:08,116
You're a grown woman
in a creepy,

1163
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:09,417
co-dependent relationship
with your parents.

1164
01:03:09,419 --> 01:03:11,853
It's totally normal,
and you have no idea

1165
01:03:11,855 --> 01:03:13,488
what you're talking about because you
completely abandoned your family.

1166
01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:15,257
It wasn't a choice!

1167
01:03:15,259 --> 01:03:16,424
Of course, it's a choice!

1168
01:03:16,426 --> 01:03:18,093
Says the closet case!

1169
01:03:18,095 --> 01:03:20,061
They know I know they know.

1170
01:03:20,063 --> 01:03:21,530
I'm waiting for the right
time to bring it up,

1171
01:03:21,532 --> 01:03:23,131
out of respect for them.

1172
01:03:23,133 --> 01:03:25,133
I think you and I see the world
totally differently.

1173
01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:27,369
We do. You know, you think
that I'm a bad person

1174
01:03:27,371 --> 01:03:28,937
because I'm not coming out
on your terms,

1175
01:03:28,939 --> 01:03:30,172
and I don't agree with that.

1176
01:03:30,174 --> 01:03:31,973
That is not true.
I didn't say that.

1177
01:03:31,975 --> 01:03:33,575
That's totally true.
You're not listening to me.

1178
01:03:33,577 --> 01:03:35,177
I'm listening to you, and
everything you're saying

1179
01:03:35,179 --> 01:03:36,945
is pissing me off
and completely inaccurate.

1180
01:03:36,947 --> 01:03:38,580
You are ruining my birthday.

1181
01:03:38,582 --> 01:03:40,248
You're ruining my twenties.

1182
01:03:40,250 --> 01:03:42,117
I can't...

1183
01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:43,585
I don't have the patience
to deal with you.

1184
01:03:43,587 --> 01:03:45,320
That's fine.
Let's break up.

1185
01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:48,590
Fine.

1186
01:03:48,592 --> 01:03:50,292
Okay.

1187
01:03:58,267 --> 01:04:01,036
If you're gonna go, just go.
You don't get to take things.

1188
01:04:02,405 --> 01:04:04,873
I got you those panties.

1189
01:04:12,515 --> 01:04:14,549
Absolutely not.
Fuck you.

1190
01:04:14,551 --> 01:04:16,218
What the fuck is
wrong with you?

1191
01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:17,319
I got these for you.

1192
01:04:17,321 --> 01:04:19,054
You're a fucking
crazy person!

1193
01:04:19,056 --> 01:04:20,255
You want to play
like this?

1194
01:04:20,257 --> 01:04:22,190
Do you want to do this?
Okay.

1195
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,125
I bought all the booze
for this party.

1196
01:04:31,901 --> 01:04:33,602
Are you happy?
Is this what you wanted?

1197
01:04:33,604 --> 01:04:36,338
You know what... don't bother
telling your parents about us.

1198
01:04:36,340 --> 01:04:38,640
I know you, and the more
that I think about it,

1199
01:04:38,642 --> 01:04:40,141
this is probably just a phase.

1200
01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:47,916
God, this was such
a waste.

1201
01:05:20,182 --> 01:05:21,483
Hey.

1202
01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:23,318
Hi.

1203
01:05:25,087 --> 01:05:27,522
Nice hair.
Thanks.

1204
01:05:27,524 --> 01:05:29,557
This is jon Francis.

1205
01:05:29,559 --> 01:05:31,927
This is Maxine.

1206
01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:34,462
Jon, show her
your chest tattoo.

1207
01:05:34,464 --> 01:05:36,631
It took them four hours
to do it.

1208
01:05:36,633 --> 01:05:38,633
It's a giant squid
biting a sperm whale.

1209
01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:40,635
Cool.

1210
01:05:40,637 --> 01:05:42,070
How are you?

1211
01:05:42,072 --> 01:05:43,571
I'm okay.
You?

1212
01:05:43,573 --> 01:05:45,006
Good.

1213
01:05:45,008 --> 01:05:46,408
You should meet my date.

1214
01:05:46,410 --> 01:05:48,643
Where is she?

1215
01:05:48,645 --> 01:05:50,211
At the bar,
getting us drinks.

1216
01:05:50,213 --> 01:05:52,013
Great.
She sounds awesome.

1217
01:05:52,015 --> 01:05:54,482
She is.

1218
01:05:54,484 --> 01:05:57,052
God, look how things worked out
for both of us.

1219
01:05:57,054 --> 01:05:59,955
You have your lady who
fetches you drinks at a bar,

1220
01:05:59,957 --> 01:06:03,058
like a maid, and I have
my hunky rebel with a cause.

1221
01:06:03,060 --> 01:06:04,626
Oh, what's the cause?

1222
01:06:04,628 --> 01:06:07,162
Jon's spearheading a campaign
to bridge the gaps

1223
01:06:07,164 --> 01:06:10,165
of gentrification in Brooklyn
through mass kombucha brewing.

1224
01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:12,100
That's not a thing.

1225
01:06:12,102 --> 01:06:13,735
Yeah, we're gonna
go dance now.

1226
01:06:13,737 --> 01:06:16,204
Jon's known all over bushwick
for his vogueing.

1227
01:06:16,206 --> 01:06:18,506
What a coincidence.
T's an amazing dancer.

1228
01:06:18,508 --> 01:06:20,208
Oh, is she?
Yeah.

1229
01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:22,143
She goes to her west African
dance class religiously.

1230
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:23,979
Is she black?

1231
01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:27,315
No.
She sounds awesome.

1232
01:06:27,317 --> 01:06:28,683
She is.

1233
01:07:17,434 --> 01:07:19,034
Tibet?

1234
01:07:19,036 --> 01:07:20,368
Hey, shirin.

1235
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:22,103
This is your date?

1236
01:07:22,105 --> 01:07:23,271
You two know each other?

1237
01:07:23,273 --> 01:07:25,707
Yeah, we work
together.

1238
01:07:25,709 --> 01:07:27,342
Tibet,
this is jon Francis.

1239
01:07:27,344 --> 01:07:29,677
Jon, show her
your chest tattoo.

1240
01:07:29,679 --> 01:07:31,813
Uh, Tibet's
a former hair model.

1241
01:07:31,815 --> 01:07:33,448
Yeah, I heard.

1242
01:07:33,450 --> 01:07:36,317
Maxine and I used to date.
Can you imagine?

1243
01:07:36,319 --> 01:07:38,319
Nope.
Why not?

1244
01:07:38,321 --> 01:07:40,522
I thought you were straight.
Fuck you.

1245
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:42,390
Whoa, that is uncalled for!

1246
01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:43,658
Your hair is uncalled for.

1247
01:07:43,660 --> 01:07:45,193
Baby, let's go get high.

1248
01:07:45,195 --> 01:07:48,129
I don't want to get high.
Whatever.

1249
01:07:48,131 --> 01:07:51,533
What is up with your passive
disinterest in everything?

1250
01:07:51,535 --> 01:07:53,535
Seriously, what happened
at wesleyan

1251
01:07:53,537 --> 01:07:55,070
that did this to you?

1252
01:07:55,072 --> 01:07:56,471
Maxine, maybe we should go.

1253
01:07:56,473 --> 01:07:58,139
Oh, shut up, Tibet.

1254
01:07:58,141 --> 01:07:59,507
No one cares what
you have to say.

1255
01:07:59,509 --> 01:08:01,629
You have the sex appeal
of a ferret.

1256
01:08:17,427 --> 01:08:18,760
I'm in here.

1257
01:08:18,762 --> 01:08:20,195
It's Maxine.

1258
01:08:20,197 --> 01:08:22,230
Go away.

1259
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:36,277
The door was unlocked.

1260
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,179
I don't know how you could
try to replace me

1261
01:08:38,181 --> 01:08:40,315
with that fetus.

1262
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:42,684
I'm not trying
to replace you.

1263
01:08:50,593 --> 01:08:52,393
I hate jon.

1264
01:08:52,395 --> 01:08:54,162
I know.

1265
01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:58,700
Take a cab home.

1266
01:08:58,702 --> 01:09:00,702
You're gonna be okay.

1267
01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:22,924
All right, okay,

1268
01:09:22,926 --> 01:09:25,527
everybody please come sit.
I have a film.

1269
01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:27,762
Everybody stop playing

1270
01:09:27,764 --> 01:09:30,899
and come watch the movie.

1271
01:09:30,901 --> 01:09:32,767
Alright, so this is one
of the first films

1272
01:09:32,769 --> 01:09:33,935
that was ever made
for audi...

1273
01:09:33,937 --> 01:09:37,405
It's not appropriate
for our age.

1274
01:09:37,407 --> 01:09:38,773
Why do you have to be
like that?

1275
01:09:38,775 --> 01:09:40,408
What are you looking at?

1276
01:09:40,410 --> 01:09:43,244
Kujo, Groucho, why are you
not sitting here?

1277
01:09:43,246 --> 01:09:44,526
I'm screening a film.

1278
01:09:46,816 --> 01:09:49,250
We're watching a movie.

1279
01:09:49,252 --> 01:09:51,132
Yes!
No, I want you right here.

1280
01:09:52,688 --> 01:09:55,790
What happened?
Okay...

1281
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:58,293
Do we gotta clean
all that up?

1282
01:10:08,571 --> 01:10:11,206
There's too much.

1283
01:10:11,208 --> 01:10:12,874
Hey, guys.
Leave it.

1284
01:10:12,876 --> 01:10:15,810
Just leave it.

1285
01:10:15,812 --> 01:10:17,378
New plan.

1286
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,948
I say forget the stop motion.

1287
01:10:19,950 --> 01:10:22,317
What movie
do you guys want to make?

1288
01:10:22,319 --> 01:10:24,586
I want to make a movie
about farts.

1289
01:10:24,588 --> 01:10:26,287
Alright, great.
Let's do it.

1290
01:10:26,289 --> 01:10:27,522
Farts.
Zombies!

1291
01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:29,791
Zombies?
Awesome.

1292
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:30,959
Boogers!

1293
01:10:33,629 --> 01:10:34,729
What else have we got?
It's a good start.

1294
01:10:34,731 --> 01:10:35,730
What else do we have here?

1295
01:10:35,732 --> 01:10:38,433
I want boogers in my movie.

1296
01:10:38,435 --> 01:10:40,235
Boogers.
There we go.

1297
01:10:40,237 --> 01:10:42,003
Butts.
Butts.

1298
01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:43,972
You guys are in the zone.
Keep it flowing.

1299
01:10:43,974 --> 01:10:45,807
Naked ninjas!

1300
01:10:45,809 --> 01:10:47,775
I'm not a zombie.
I'm just a boy.

1301
01:10:47,777 --> 01:10:49,744
But you're making
the zombie mask.

1302
01:10:49,746 --> 01:10:51,412
It doesn't matter
if it's your character.

1303
01:10:51,414 --> 01:10:52,680
You're just making it up.

1304
01:10:52,682 --> 01:10:54,616
Can it have more eyes
than two?

1305
01:10:54,618 --> 01:10:55,850
Yes.

1306
01:10:55,852 --> 01:10:57,318
Zombies have as many eyes

1307
01:10:57,320 --> 01:11:00,288
as you want them to have.

1308
01:11:33,756 --> 01:11:36,591
Welcome to the "Brooklyn kidz
moovie maker,

1309
01:11:36,593 --> 01:11:38,693
final screening."

1310
01:11:38,695 --> 01:11:41,429
First we screen
the advanced class,

1311
01:11:41,431 --> 01:11:43,931
and the non-advanced class.

1312
01:11:43,933 --> 01:11:45,400
Thank you for coming.

1313
01:11:48,071 --> 01:11:50,505
I wrote that speech.

1314
01:13:14,623 --> 01:13:16,891
I love farting.

1315
01:13:52,027 --> 01:13:54,595
I can't fart.

1316
01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,813
Oh, you guys.

1317
01:14:11,815 --> 01:14:14,782
They're beautiful.
Thank you so much.

1318
01:14:14,784 --> 01:14:15,983
You're welcome.

1319
01:14:15,985 --> 01:14:17,685
You guys are the best.

1320
01:14:17,687 --> 01:14:20,087
Thank you.

1321
01:14:20,089 --> 01:14:21,489
Thank you.

1322
01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:28,162
Shirin.
Hi, Ken.

1323
01:14:28,164 --> 01:14:30,531
So, that was...

1324
01:14:30,533 --> 01:14:32,233
Disgusting.
I'm so sorry.

1325
01:14:32,235 --> 01:14:34,235
Actually, I thought
it was hilarious.

1326
01:14:34,237 --> 01:14:36,804
Seriously?

1327
01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:39,740
Yeah.
I was crackin' up.

1328
01:14:39,742 --> 01:14:41,542
Thank you so much for saying that.
Yeah.

1329
01:14:41,544 --> 01:14:43,110
Let's face it,
farts are funny.

1330
01:14:43,112 --> 01:14:45,179
I agree.
Farts are funny.

1331
01:14:45,181 --> 01:14:46,881
Thank you.

1332
01:14:59,595 --> 01:15:01,529
Have you seen carrington?

1333
01:15:19,648 --> 01:15:22,016
Hey, what are you
doing here?

1334
01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:25,553
Hiding.

1335
01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:28,623
I'm sorry I've been
such a dick about layli.

1336
01:15:28,625 --> 01:15:29,924
Aw, come on,
forget it.

1337
01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:31,526
Come on, let's go inside.

1338
01:15:31,528 --> 01:15:37,932
My old roommate Maxine and I
were in a relationship.

1339
01:15:37,934 --> 01:15:41,269
Ah, so you're a lesbian.

1340
01:15:41,271 --> 01:15:43,137
I was pretty into
all the guys I was with,

1341
01:15:43,139 --> 01:15:46,908
so I think I'm bisexual.

1342
01:15:46,910 --> 01:15:50,211
And that's a thing?

1343
01:15:50,213 --> 01:15:52,046
I'm afraid so.

1344
01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:55,216
All right.

1345
01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:56,918
How do you think mom and dad
are gonna take it?

1346
01:15:56,920 --> 01:16:00,187
Oh, you're not gonna
tell them now that it's over.

1347
01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:02,990
Seems like a pretty big thing
to not be honest about.

1348
01:16:02,992 --> 01:16:04,959
Fine.

1349
01:16:04,961 --> 01:16:07,094
Just uh, wait until after
the wedding, alright?

1350
01:16:08,831 --> 01:16:10,731
You are such a dick.

1351
01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,967
Well, at least I'm not
a sexually confused narcissist.

1352
01:16:12,969 --> 01:16:14,168
Can we please go inside?

1353
01:16:14,170 --> 01:16:16,671
Hey, can I be
your best man?

1354
01:16:16,673 --> 01:16:18,573
No,
absolutely not.

1355
01:16:23,245 --> 01:16:26,213
I ate before I came.

1356
01:16:31,987 --> 01:16:33,688
Ow, fuck!

1357
01:16:34,723 --> 01:16:36,791
Ow! Shit.

1358
01:16:48,904 --> 01:16:50,905
I'm sorry I ruined
your scarf.

1359
01:17:08,190 --> 01:17:11,892
Mom, I'm a little bit gay.

1360
01:17:16,898 --> 01:17:18,699
Yes, I am.

1361
01:17:18,701 --> 01:17:21,369
And I was in love
with Maxine.

1362
01:17:21,371 --> 01:17:23,804
Shh.

1363
01:18:43,218 --> 01:18:45,386
Shirin, are you okay?

1364
01:18:45,388 --> 01:18:49,423
I'm okay.

1365
01:18:55,465 --> 01:18:57,998
Stop breathing so loud.

1366
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:03,437
Okay.

1367
01:19:46,081 --> 01:19:47,515
Has your mom
mentioned it?

1368
01:19:47,517 --> 01:19:49,383
No.

1369
01:19:49,385 --> 01:19:51,385
Maybe she didn't
understand what you meant.

1370
01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:53,387
No, she knows for sure
what's up.

1371
01:19:53,389 --> 01:19:57,224
I'm gonna bring it
up in about a month.

1372
01:19:57,226 --> 01:19:58,893
I'm proud of you.

1373
01:19:58,895 --> 01:20:00,327
Thanks.

1374
01:20:00,329 --> 01:20:02,263
There's a party
at the loft on Saturday.

1375
01:20:02,265 --> 01:20:04,031
You should bring that
waiter, Brendan.

1376
01:20:04,033 --> 01:20:06,867
Um, I would, but I kinda
want to see if Jacques

1377
01:20:06,869 --> 01:20:08,202
and Felicia try to seduce me.

1378
01:20:08,204 --> 01:20:09,937
It's never gonna happen.

1379
01:20:09,939 --> 01:20:11,205
I don't know why you think
they're swingers.

1380
01:20:11,207 --> 01:20:12,540
I just get that vibe.

1381
01:20:12,542 --> 01:20:15,075
You should invite
that gay lawyer.

1382
01:20:15,077 --> 01:20:16,310
Did you guys touch tongues?

1383
01:20:16,312 --> 01:20:17,511
No, we didn't,

1384
01:20:17,513 --> 01:20:19,280
and it actually hurt
my feelings.

1385
01:20:19,282 --> 01:20:21,248
No, you know, there are
people in this world

1386
01:20:21,250 --> 01:20:23,217
who go on first dates
that are perfectly great,

1387
01:20:23,219 --> 01:20:25,119
and then they wait a while
before they engage

1388
01:20:25,121 --> 01:20:26,287
in sexual contact.

1389
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:27,855
That's disgusting.

1390
01:20:27,857 --> 01:20:32,293
I know, I think it all happens
outside of New York.

1391
01:20:32,295 --> 01:20:34,094
Maybe you're right.

1392
01:21:15,270 --> 01:21:17,872
When he texts me,
it's like he only texts me

1393
01:21:17,874 --> 01:21:19,073
using emoticons.

1394
01:21:19,075 --> 01:21:20,241
Why can't you
use your words?

1395
01:21:20,243 --> 01:21:21,542
Do you know what I mean?

1396
01:21:21,544 --> 01:21:25,346
I think that he thinks that
that is like cute.

1397
01:21:25,348 --> 01:21:27,648
I and like...